


Fragments of Us

by Phoebe1958



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-16 12:31:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 71
Words: 243,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4625457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoebe1958/pseuds/Phoebe1958
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dumbledore reassembles the Order, summoning a woman from Sirius' past to return & fight with them. Sirius must now struggle with the effects of Azkaban, the coming war and now this painful reminder of all he has already lost. OOP timeframe, AU ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kate

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Chapter 1 - Kate

Kate. He stood on the landing at the top of the stairs, hidden by the perpetual dimness of the house. From his vantage point Sirius could see her as she stood in the entrance hall, speaking quietly with Remus. Kate. Thirteen years ago the sight of her face had often been enough to stop his breath. And then it had all come crashing down. Suspicion arose among them, like weeds through sidewalk cracks, pushing aside what was once strong and breaking them into pieces. James…Lily… both dead – and Harry with those stupid Muggles. Remus – existing – barely…and Kate – working in the States, an Auror for the US Ministry of Magic, according to Dumbledore. Undoubtedly thinking he'd killed their friends, betrayed them all. Certainly believing that nothing they might have ever had together meant anything at all to him. Sirius closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the cold wall. He had kept the memory of her face with him throughout his twelve years in Azkaban. The Dementors had no interest in that particular memory as it held no happiness for him. The last glimpse Sirius ever had of the face that meant so much came on the day he was arrested. Standing with other Aurors behind the Muggle police barricade, her lovely face was white, her mouth parted in horror, her beautiful brown eyes wide in her face as she watched the scene before her. As he struggled against the bonds of the Ministry representatives who held him, Sirius had met her eyes and saw the confusion change to shock and, finally, horrible comprehension. She had turned, suddenly, and disappeared into the crowd and that was when Sirius had begun screaming in earnest. Most of his memories were fragments; the only whole, firm memory he had of the woman who had meant so much to him was that last glance on the day they took him away. And now, here she was again. Back in London. Back in the Order. And here he was. A man aged beyond his years, broken in mind and – these days – in spirit. Back in a house he'd hated and left as a boy. He opened his eyes again and gazed down into the hallway. She was gone. Sirius sighed then started slightly as Remus stepped back to the foot of the stairs.

"The meeting is about to start, Padfoot," his hoarse voice was quiet. "Are you coming down?"

Sirius shook his head slightly, his gaze dropping to the floor. "I … not tonight, Remus. I can't …" he didn't finish.

Remus moved up one step. "Sirius, I know this is difficult for you, but she's not going to go away again. She's come back to rejoin the Order, to help protect Harry. Dumbledore has told her the truth about that night, about your innocence. She knows that you're here. You're going to have to see her eventually."

Sirius looked at his friend. "Not tonight," he whispered. Turning, he headed up the staircase to the third floor and the master suite where Buckbeak was hidden away.

Remus watched him until he disappeared, then made his way to the kitchen and the Order meeting which was undoubtedly already underway.


	2. A Return to the Order

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Kate looked up as the door closed quietly behind Remus. He slipped into the last available seat at the back of the room and gave her a small smile before focusing his attention on Dumbledore, who was speaking to those gathered. Kate looked back at the door for a moment then looked away. Although she had no expectation that Sirius would come downstairs and join them, she had hoped. She closed her eyes briefly. Thirteen years. Twelve of them in the most unspeakable hell any wizard or witch could imagine. And he had survived. Kate thought about all that had happened over the past 2 weeks, beginning with Dumbledore's unexpected Floo call to her home. When she had agreed to return to London and meet with Dumbledore in person, she had assumed they would speak alone. She had been surprised to find Remus Lupin sitting in the Headmaster's office as well.

"Remus," Kate returned his embrace warmly. "I am so glad to see you again."

Remus smiled at her. "Thank you, Kate. It's good to see you, too. It's been awhile."

Dumbledore gestured toward the chair next to Remus and invited her to be seated. He leaned forward in his chair, his hands folded on top of his desk and quietly began to speak. "Kate, I have asked Remus to join us today because he is critical to what you are about to hear. He will be able to share his own experience in this matter and will, undoubtedly, add credibility to a story that you may well find difficult to hear and to believe."

Kate looked from Dumbledore to Remus and back again before saying, "Please go on."

"When Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban prison," Dumbledore paused, glancing at Remus. "We had reason to suspect that his escape was due to his desire to finish what he started the night James and Lily died. Given our thought at the time, we felt young Harry was in grave danger, indeed. Remus graciously agreed to come to Hogwarts to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts…and to assist us in protecting Harry."

"But surely, Headmaster, Sirius wouldn't be foolish enough to attempt to reach Harry here," Kate protested.

It was Remus who answered. "Kate, remember our own time at Hogwarts. Sirius did many foolish and reckless things. And, in fact, he did try to reach Harry – and finally succeeded."

Kate recalled her shock at hearing the story of the reunion in the Shrieking Shack, the confrontation with and subsequent escape of Pettigrew, the true traitor and murderer and the ultimate flight to freedom of Sirius Black – on the back of an equally fugitive Hippogriff. Shock was immediately followed by guilt. She had believed he'd betrayed them all. Watching from behind the barriers that day, it hadn't been difficult to do so. She could see again the wild look in his eyes, and, as she had retreated, heard the barking, almost manic laughter that had come from him.

"…and, of course, we are delighted that Kate Morgan has transferred back to London from the US Ministry in Washington. Kate will be resuming her membership in the Order. Welcome back, Kate," Dumbledore finished.

She blinked, brought out of her reverie by the sound of Dumbledore's voice. Looking around, she smiled at the other Order members. "It's good to be back." As she spoke, Kate fervently hoped that no one had noticed her lack of attention during Dumbledore's comments but as people began milling around the room, Kate looked up and caught Remus' eye. "Nice save," he mouthed, as Kate put out her tongue and walked over to him. As she approached Remus, Kate thought she saw a quick movement near the kitchen doorway. She paused and turned toward the door, only to be intercepted by Molly Weasley, anxious to extend her own welcome to the order's returning member. As she smiled and listened to Molly's chatter, Kate was almost certain she heard the "pop" of Disapparition from just outside the doorway.


	3. Tea at Midnight

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Kate busied herself making tea as Remus accompanied Dumbledore upstairs to finish their conversation. She had just brought the kettle and two mugs to the table when Remus reappeared.

"So," he began, accepting a steaming mug from Kate and settling himself in the chair opposite hers. "Is it just Dumbledore's wishful thinking or are you really back for good?"

"You certainly don't beat about the bush, do you?" she said wryly.

Remus chuckled quietly, but said nothing.

Kate sighed. "Voldemort's back, which means that to defeat him, Dumbledore needs every witch and wizard he can recruit. I'm an Auror. I fought with you all in the original Order and I'll fight with you again in this one. I'm in it for the long haul. 'For good'? Remus, certainly you know how tenuous that can be."

"Maybe. Doesn't really answer my question, though, does it?" Remus looked at her over the rim of his mug.

It was Kate's turn to chuckle. "Still not letting me get away with anything, are you?" After a moment, she turned serious and looked at him closely. "Look, I don't know what's going to happen any more than you do. It doesn't sound like we've learned anything since the last time, does it? For one thing, the same cast of characters is working against us again, this time in slightly higher positions of authority. I remember Dolores Umbridge from the old days – and so do you." She paused, watching Remus' face tighten as his own memories came back to him. "Sorry," Kate continued. "I know the Anti-Werewolf Legislation she put together has made your life virtually impossible." Kate paused. "She came to Washington, you know. Last year."

Remus' gaze turned incredulous. "America? Why?"

"It was … odd, to say the least. At first, we couldn't understand why Fudge would have sent her to the States; the British and US Ministries have always worked well together. We had heard nothing, seen nothing to indicate that Voldemort was gathering supporters in the US – and it wasn't like we weren't looking for signs. It quickly became apparent that dear old Dolores wasn't there at the behest of Fudge. She came on her own little mission." Kate glanced back up at her old friend.

"Promoting her own agenda, was she?" Remus asked, bitterness deepening the lines in his face and making his eyes slightly golden as he returned her gaze.

"Yes," Kate nodded. "She was hoping to enlist the support of the US Ministry in blocking any werewolves who might hope to immigrate to America from the UK."

"Effectively ensuring that they would be refused, deported and sent right back into the waiting arms of the MLE here," Remus finished, shaking his head. "Was she successful?"

Kate snorted softly into her mug. "Not by half," she responded with a grin. "The Yanks don't take to being pressured by "the Mother Country"; remember all that lovely tea floating in Boston Harbor, after all. That and their sincere belief in the underdog…" she paused as Remus choked a little, mid-swallow.

"Sorry, again," she said, smiling wryly. "Unfortunate choice of words. At any rate, they politely sent her packing. And now, she's going to be at Hogwarts."

"'Shaping young minds'", Remus added, his eyes narrowing. "As the DADA professor."

"Warping young minds, more like," Kate responded. "The Ministry's got its collective fingers everywhere as it is. Now, they'll be hooked into the kids. Suspicious, paranoid bastards; they won't be happy until they've turned everyone against Dumbledore."

"And now, Harry," Remus added. "They've pretty much got control of the Prophet, too. Just like last time. And they're going to continue their smear campaign, building dissent and mistrust everywhere until no one knows what – or who - to believe."

Kate felt her throat tighten. "Just like last time," she whispered.

Remus reached for her hand, "Kate, we know better this time. We won't let it get to us."

"You're damn right," she said, her voice rising in anger. "I'm not going to buy into rumors and innuendo about the loyalty of my friends and the people I love. Not this time. I made that mistake last time – and the price I paid for it was way too high!"

Remus tightened his hold on her hand. "You're not the only one who paid that price, Kate. We all fell into Peter's well-laid trap – and we all suffered for it. Poor, weak little Peter, always trailing after James and Sirius. How could he possibly be in league with Voldemort? He was afraid of his own shadow, after all. How could he plant seeds of doubt about Sirius' loyalty to any of us? Oh, yes, Peter knew just how to play us – and he did it beautifully. Kate, you know better than anyone how paranoid Sirius had become in those last days. He trusted no one. He didn't trust me, certainly – not after Peter was through with him. Merlin, he didn't even trust himself in the end. Sirius talked James and Lily into using Peter as their Secret Keeper because he didn't trust his ability to remain silent about their location if he was caught and tortured! Do you believe, for one moment, that Sirius would have done that if he'd had the slightest suspicion that Peter had gone over to the Dark? You know he would not – any sooner than he would have sold James and Lily to Voldemort himself."

Kate drew a shaky breath and removed her hand from beneath Remus' larger one. "Yes, I know," she said grimly. "Now. Thirteen years after the fact, I can sit here and tell you that what you're saying is true. When it counted, however, I'm afraid I wasn't quite as loyal. When it counted, I forgot everything I knew to be true about Sirius and lined up with everyone else who thought him guilty. He was convicted without trial by the Ministry and by those of us who were supposed to love him."

Remus sighed. "Kate, he holds no grudges against us. He holds grudges against two people: Peter and himself. The former he'll chase until he can't run after him anymore. The latter he can't get away from no matter how fast or how long he runs."

"He's managing to run fast enough to stay away from me, though, isn't he?' Kate asked softly, rising and crossing to the sink, mug in hand.

"One meeting, Kate. One meeting less than 24 hours after hearing that you were back in London," Remus pointed out.

Kate turned to face him, her dark eyes sad. "It's late. I'd better go."

"Kate, it's after 1 AM. You're upset. Stay here, there's plenty of room," Remus suggested.

Kate shook her head. "Remus, I can't stay here. It's not fair. He doesn't want to see me and this is his house. I'll be fine. I've got a room at the Three Broomsticks for tonight; tomorrow I'll start looking for something more permanent."

"Ok, I'll stop," Remus reached out and hugged her gently. "It's not just you, Kate. He's lost so much. He's not the free-spirited, self-confident man he used to be. The Dementors took away all his happy memories and those that are left play into his guilt and his sense of helplessness. He can't see Harry – hell, he can't leave this house. It's giving him more opportunity to think, to brood. I think that having more people around him will make it easier for him to adjust, to work through everything. Just give him some time, Kate."

Kate pulled back and looked up at Remus, her eyes suspiciously bright. "I hope you're right, my friend." She walked toward the door. "Lunch tomorrow?"

Remus followed her up the stairs. "Sure. What time should I meet you?"

Kate opened the door, allowing the fresh air to flood into the hall. "One o'clock ok? You can meet me at the Three Broomsticks and we'll eat there. Maybe you can help me with my house hunting." She managed a smile.

Remus squeezed her arm. "Sounds great. Of course, house hunting with a known werewolf may not be the best idea you've had in your life," he grinned down at her.

"Don't be ridiculous," Kate admonished as she walked outside. "Anyone who treats you badly will have me to deal with. Remember 5th year? Lily taught me the Bat Bogey Hex. Merlin, we had some fun with that!"

Remus laughed out loud. "Yes, you did! I don't think I'll ever get over the image of James locked in the broom cupboard with those great gray ears flopping around. The landlords of Hogsmeade beware!"

"Good night, Remus," Kate said, smiling. She stepped off the last stair and started down the sidewalk. Remus watched her as she crossed the street, turned on her heel and, with a soft "pop", Disapparated from view.

Closing the door and resetting the wards, Remus turned toward the stairs – more tired than he remembered being in awhile and looking forward to the warmth and comfort of his bed. As he reached his room, Remus glanced down the hall toward Sirius' tightly closed door. As usual, a glimmer of light shown through the slight opening at the bottom of the door. Remus sighed. Sirius found total darkness paralyzing – another souvenir of his time in Azkaban. As he entered his room and prepared for bed, Remus hoped that sleep would come easily to both he and Sirius tonight. They would both need to be rested when Remus broached the topic of Kate – and Sirius' need to face her again.


	4. Breakfast Conversations

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Sirius entered the basement kitchen and lit the candles with a wave of his hand. The oppressive, pre-dawn darkness was chased away as the kitchen was bathed in warm, yellow light. Sirius made his way to the ancient stove and set the kettle to boil with a tap of his wand. As he went through the motions of making the tea, Sirius' thoughts drifted to the previous night. He was sure Kate had seen him as he lurked in the stairwell at the end of the Order meeting. Although he'd had no intention of going anywhere near the kitchen while the meeting was in progress, the knowledge that Kate was that close made it impossible for him to stay away. He brought his tea to the table and sat in "his" chair – at the head of the huge table. Leaving his tea to cool a bit, Sirius sat back in his chair and closed his eyes, allowing the images of the previous evening to drift through his mind.

Despite the passage of thirteen years, Kate looked much the same as she did the last time Sirius had seen her. She still wore her reddish-brown hair to the shoulder, framing her lovely face. Possessing the typical pale English complexion with a lovely rose-colored blush staining her cheeks, Kate's most remarkable features were her beautiful eyes. Framed by long lashes, her eyes were milk chocolate in color and extremely expressive. While her natural reticence and Auror training taught her to keep her facial expressions neutral, Kate's eyes were her own. Sirius drew a sharp breath and opened his eyes when he recalled the last time he had seen such deep emotion in those incomparable eyes: the day he was taken to Azkaban. He quickly swallowed a large mouthful of tea, grimacing slightly as the hot liquid burned a path down his throat. No more reminiscing about that day, he admonished himself. His thoughts turned, instead, to the images that greeted him as he observed Kate last night, through a crack in the kitchen door. His heart had ached as he watched her. For the majority of the meeting, she seemed so far away, her thoughts elsewhere. As he watched her face carefully, Sirius' own mind began to whirl, presenting him with fractured images of younger versions of both himself and Kate. Like a Muggle kaleidoscope, these fragments moved too quickly to allow him to mentally grasp and examine any one of them. Frustrated, and barely suppressing the growl that hovered at the back of his throat, Sirius was brought back to the present by the sound of chairs scraping against the ancient stone floor. Looking through the door crack again, he saw that Kate's chair was empty. He shifted suddenly, accidentally bringing himself more fully into the doorway and drew back quickly as he caught sight of Kate moving across the room toward Remus. She stopped suddenly and, to his horror, began to walk toward the door, a curious look on her face. Sirius hadn't waited any longer and Disapparated to his room on the third floor. There, he had paced the floor, all candles lit, for the bulk of the night, able to sleep for only an hour before waking again. Giving up on the idea of additional rest, he'd decided to wander to the kitchen for some tea and solitude.

As Sirius was pouring a second cup of the scalding brew, he jumped as a noise sounded behind him. He turned to see Remus enter the kitchen and drop into a chair to Sirius' right.

"Feel inclined to share, Padfoot?" he asked, summoning a mug from the cupboard and plucking it from the air neatly.

Sirius smiled at his old friend. "Need a little help getting them both open this morning, Mooney?" he asked. "All that burning the candle at both ends must be getting a little wearing."

Remus favored his friend with what he hoped was a withering look. "I went to bed not long after the meeting ended. And you?" he asked casually.

Sirius scowled. "I would wager that I retired around the same time, if not a bit earlier," he replied.

Remus nodded. "So, right after the meeting ended, then?" At Sirius' side-long glance and brief nod, he continued. "Ah, well then, that would explain the timing of the Disapparition I heard as the group was breaking up." Remus sipped from his own cup, studiously avoiding eye contact with the raven haired man to his left.

"I thought the meeting might have been over and I felt a bit peckish since I missed dinner," Sirius began, shifting in his chair and sticking his chin out stubbornly, although he did not look at Remus as he replied.

"This is me you're talking to, Padfoot," Remus countered. "That excuse might work with someone else, but never with me."

Sirius sighed and allowed his shoulders to slump. "I've never been able to get away with anything with you, Mooney. Even when you stayed quiet about it, you always knew. I should have remembered." He looked back up at the werewolf and his face was open and strangely vulnerable. "I just wanted a look at her, Remus," he continued quietly. "Just one and then, when I got down here, I couldn't leave. All these half-images kept popping in and out of my brain. I don't have clear, whole memories of her when we were together. I wanted to replace the one image I do have. Damn near got myself caught, too," he finished. One corner of his mouth curled slightly upward as he caught Remus' eye. "Never thought I'd say it, but thank Merlin for Molly Weasley! If she hadn't intercepted Kate, I'd have been caught out for certain!"

Remus allowed himself a small smile and then became focused again. Sirius had unwittingly given him an opportunity to talk to him about Kate and he was damned if he'd let it pass without at least trying. "And why would that have been so bad, Padfoot?"

Sirius jerked his head up sharply at the question, looking incredulously at the other man."'Why would that have been so bad, Padfoot?'! Remus, haven't you been listening to me at all? I have no clear memory of the woman. I only have pieces. What do I do when she starts to reminisce about our days at Hogwarts? In the Order? As Aurors? Deflect her with my staggering good looks?" he finished derisively, jumping up from his chair and beginning to pace the kitchen, temper in full swing. The sound of Remus' voice stopped him from drawing breath and continuing.

"Sirius!", the werewolf bellowed. The shock of Remus raising his voice at all stopped Sirius in his tracks. Seeing that he had the other man's attention, Remus pointed at Sirius' chair and said, "Sit down, Padfoot. While you're about it, please try not to make me do that again; it's way too soon after the full for me to irritate my throat by screaming at you."

Sirius broke his wide-eyed stare and sat down heavily in his seat.

"Better," Remus said. "Now, I have a question to ask you. Why would you think Kate would be so shallow as to walk away from you based on your looks? So hard-hearted as to walk away because of the effects of 12 years in Azkaban?"

"I don't need pity, Mooney."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Kate doesn't pity you, Sirius! She feels guilty. She thinks you're avoiding her because you want nothing to do with her. Kate is beating herself up because she believed you were guilty; that you were the traitor."

Sirius' mouth dropped and he stared at Remus as if he had never seen him before. "Remus, how could I feel that way? There was so damned much suspicion going around back then, I can't imagine that she wouldn't have believed the worst of me. I was running around like a madman. I even thought…no, let's not go there. You know what I thought, and I'm sorry for it."

"And I've forgiven you. Look, Sirius, I'm not suggesting that your relationship will pick up where it left off the moment you see each other. I have no idea that it will ever happen again. What I am suggesting, however, is that you are both working for the same cause and you share a past. There's something else that you share…or should I say 'someone'?" Remus paused and waited for his words to sink in.

Sirius put his head down. "Harry," he whispered.

"Yes, Padfoot," Remus nodded. "Harry. She's his godmother and he has no idea at all. He doesn't even know that she exists. Now, I have no idea when he should be told or how he'll react, but I do know that you both should participate in that discussion. I also know that he can't hear the news from two people who aren't even communicating with each other. Don't you agree?"

Sirius looked up at Remus and, for a moment, the other man was stunned at the raw pain he could see in the depths of his friend's blue eyes. He almost regretted pushing as hard as he did, regretted putting Harry on the table as another reason for Kate and Sirius to talk. But Remus knew that Sirius needed more help than he could give. Sirius was broken and if he was to even begin to reassemble the pieces of his past, he needed something good to help him through it. There was no one better to help Sirius recover than Kate, and having the two of them establish any kind of relationship with each other was going to help Harry tremendously. He stopped second-guessing himself.

"How soon would I see her?" Sirius asked.

"Well, Padfoot, I'm meeting her for lunch later today. If she agrees, we can come back here later this afternoon. Too soon?" Remus responded, holding his breath for the answer.

"Yes," Sirius said. "But if I say no today, I'll just keep on saying it. Bring her by this afternoon, if she's willing."

Remus reached over and squeezed his friend's shoulder affectionately. "Thank you, Padfoot."

Sirius rose and brought his mug to the sink. Turning to leave the room, he stopped just before he reached the door. Remus watched his old friend pause, then heard him say,

"I'm afraid, Remus, but I'm not sure what frightens me more: that she'll come back with you or that she'll say no. Guess I'll find out later."

And then he was gone.


	5. Reunion

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Remus shivered as he approached the Three Broomsticks a few moments before 1 pm. Although it was just September, today had turned out to be a cold one, with gray skies and a chilly wind. He was grateful for the warmth that embraced him once he entered the pub and closed the door behind him. He looked around for Kate and finally saw her waving at him from a booth in the back of the room. She smiled as he approached and slid into the seat opposite her.

"Hi," Remus greeted her, and then turned to the waitress who had materialized next to their table. Quickly checking to see if Kate needed anything, Remus ordered a butter beer, and then turned back to his companion. "You look rested," he observed.

Kate shrugged. "I slept in," she responded, then cocked her head to one side and considered him thoughtfully for a moment. "You look … I don't know … anxious while at the same time, smug."

Remus paid the waitress for his drink. "I didn't know it was possible to look both anxious and smug simultaneously."

"Neither did I, but you've managed it," Kate responded with a wry grin. "Out with it. What's going on?"

"I didn't sleep in," Remus stated, swallowing a generous amount of butter beer before continuing. "I had breakfast with Snuffles this morning. Well, I had tea with him this morning. There wasn't much time for eating."

Kate pulled the menu from its holder on the table and studied it carefully. "You should be starving, then."

Remus pulled the second menu toward him and gave her some time to collect her thoughts. "I think I'll have the Shepherd's Pie," he decided, replacing the menu.

Kate did the same. "Me, too."

After Remus signaled the waitress and placed their order, he sat back, folded his hands in his lap and looked at Kate. "He's agreed to see you. This afternoon, if that works for you."

Kate raised her eyes to meet his. Her face was inscrutable, but her eyes reflected a bevy of emotions. "Oh, Remus," she said softly. "How did you change his mind?"

"I don't know that what I did was entirely fair," he admitted somewhat ruefully, then paused to allow their waitress to settle their plates in front of them and take her leave before continuing. "Of course, you know that Azkaban has changed him greatly; he's not the same man you knew before – and yet, in some ways he is. There are glimpses of the old Padfoot – more of them now than when he first escaped. In addition to the mental and emotional torture he's endured, the physical depravation was significant, as well. You will remember that our old friend was quite the specimen in our school days and the first years after we graduated…and he was very much aware of his appeal," Remus paused and they both smiled sadly. "Unfortunately, he is very much aware of the decline, as well."

Kate had stopped eating while she listened to Remus speak and now lifted tear-filled eyes to look at him sorrowfully. "He thinks I'll be repulsed by the way he looks now." It wasn't a question.

Remus laid down his fork and looked at her frankly. "He's repulsed and so transfers that to everyone else. Realize that his memories are shadowy and fractured. He has seen photographs of himself from the days before the first war and so he knows how much he's changed. Because Padfoot is shocked and horrified by the difference, he assumes that everyone else will be." Remus paused, and then decided to just plunge ahead with the rest. "I also reminded him of the fact that you have a shared connection to Harry – one that the boy is unaware of."

Kate nodded. "And one that I'm anxious we both tell him about. Remus, when can I see Padfoot?"

"I told him that I would bring you over this afternoon, if you agreed."

"Let's go," Kate stated, dropping a few coins on the table to pay for their lunch.

"But Kate, we didn't even finish …," Remus realized he was talking to dead air. Kate was already out the door.

XXX

They stood in the entrance of Number 12, letting their eyes adjust to the dim light. Moving quietly past the covered portrait of Walburga Black, and up the stairway to the second floor, Remus opened the door of the library and indicated that Kate should go in. "This will give you some privacy in the event anyone decides to drop by. I'll let Sirius know we're back," he said.

Kate touched his arm as he turned to leave. "I'm afraid," she said softly. Remus squeezed her hand. "Then you're even," he told her. "He said the same thing to me before I left to meet you." With that, he left the room and closed the door behind him.

Kate walked over to the large fireplace and looked at the photos on the mantel, taken so long ago. One featured the Marauders, with Lily sitting on James' shoulders and Kate perched on Sirius', while Remus and Peter looked on, laughing. They were so young.

"Kate", came a soft, slightly hoarse voice that she would have recognized anywhere. She took a deep breath and turned.

There he was, standing before her for the first time in thirteen years. Kate suddenly understood what Remus had meant. Greatly changed, yes – but somehow the same.

"Sirius," she breathed and began to walk toward him.

He stood, seemingly rooted to the spot, his hands clenching and unclenching by his sides, his eyes never leaving her face. Suddenly, Sirius was moving forward. Kate reached out as if to embrace him but before she could he caught her hands tightly in his own. "Kate," he whispered. His luminous blue eyes searched hers and all Kate could do was stare at the face she'd thought was lost to her. She squeezed his fingers gently, then slowly removed her hands from his grasp. Immediately, Sirius took a step backward, shoving his hands back into the pockets of his robes and dropping his gaze to the floor. Kate realized that he had interpreted her action as rejection and would have none of it. "Sirius," she whispered as she closed the distance between them, reached up and gently put her arms around his neck. She turned her face to rest against the top of his chest and waited. Kate could feel Sirius' heart pounding against her cheek and he trembled slightly. After several minutes had passed, he slowly brought his arms around her waist and he leaned his cheek against the top of her head. Kate released the breath she had been holding and began to gently stroke the back of his neck and shoulders. She was glad Sirius could not see her face as she discovered the truth of Remus' earlier statement about the physical depravations Sirius had endured. As her hands moved lightly, Kate could feel the bumps of his upper spine and the sharp angles of his shoulder blades. Her eyes filled as she realized that Remus had not spoken lightly; Sirius had suffered greatly for twelve long years. Alone, with nothing but Dementors and his own tortured thoughts for company. She drew a deep, shaky breath and tightened her arms around him.

Sirius brought his hands to her waist and gently stepped back, ducking his head to look at her face. "So beautiful," he said. "Kate, I can't … I don't ... when I was in that cell…," he stammered.

Kate reached up and cupped the palm of her hand against his cheek, her thumb ghosting over his lips. "Sirius, don't," she said. "I can't even begin to imagine what you've been through, but you're here now. You're here now. I'm so grateful for that. As far as what happened in the past and everything that's resulted from it, let's just deal with it as it comes up, yeah? No pressure, no expectations. Just, whatever happens we face it honestly."

Sirius put his hand on top of hers and moved it from his face to rest against his chest, their fingers entwined. He swallowed sharply. "I'm not whole, Kate," he whispered, his throat tightening around the words. "There might be more to 'face' than you even imagine. You may decide it's too much to handle and…"

Kate interrupted him again. "I have news for you, Sirius. You've always been a bit much to handle. Let's just see what happens, ok? This time, we don't keep secrets from one another and if something bothers us, we talk about it. No secrets – not even if we think it's to protect the other person."

Sirius nodded. "No secrets," he agreed. He leaned down and kissed her cheek softly. "Ok?"

Kate nodded, smiling up at him. "Very."

She squeezed his hand, then stood on her toes and kissed the corner of his mouth. The familiar warmth formed in the pit of her stomach and began to travel throughout her body. She felt Sirius' arms wrap around her again as he shifted his head slightly to capture her mouth with his own. Kate relaxed into his embrace and returned Sirius' kiss warmly. She nibbled on his full bottom lip and relished the small moan she heard as she did so. Breaking the kiss for some much needed oxygen, Sirius struggled to bring his breathing under control. "Katie," he whispered, using a nickname she hadn't heard in over a decade.

"Too soon," she finished. "Yes, I know. I'm sorry."

Sirius placed a small kiss on her forehead. "Me, too. But Katie, you've got to be sure you still want this. It's possible that you won't. If that happens, I don't think I can bear having had you again – like this – and having to give you up."

Kate nodded, smoothing a piece of hair back from his face. "Listen, if I'm going to stay in London, I need to find something more permanent than the upstairs room at The Three Broomsticks, hadn't I? I'd better go find Remus; he was going to help me find a place in Hogsmeade." Kate squeezed his arm, then turned to leave.

Sirius caught her hand before she could get too far. "Stay here," he said. "Stay here with me." Realizing what that had sounded like, he backtracked. "Stay here with Remus and me. There are more rooms than we can fill. You and I can get to know each other again and you'll be here for meetings – and when Harry comes over the holidays. It's perfect, Katie. Do it. Stay. Please"

Kate looked at the expression on his face and was reminded of a 15 year-old Marauder, caught up in the planning of another brilliant scheme. In that brief moment, she made up her mind. If staying here was what was needed to help Sirius heal, then stay here she would do.


	6. The Holidays Approach

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Once Kate moved into Grimmauld Place, life settled into a fairly predictable routine. Sirius' mood swings lessened with her there and, as her Auror duties did not require travel for prolonged periods, Kate was generally able to spend a good deal of time at the Black family residence. Remus was grateful for Kate's presence for a number of reasons, not the least of which was the fact that he could now travel out of the country on Order business without worrying as much about Sirius' despondency when he did so. On too many occasions, he had returned to find empty Firewhiskey bottles – and an unconscious roommate – littering the house. When left to his own devices, Sirius' mind turned in on itself and he relived the worst of his memories. Nightmares made his nights unbearable and sleep impossible. Firewhiskey dulled the pain.

One pain that could not be dulled – by liquor or Kate's presence – was that caused by Severus Snape during his periodic visits to Grimmauld Place. The old boyhood bitterness was never very far away, especially when Sirius remembered that Snape had daily access to Harry, something that he, Sirius did not. Sirius also had the firm belief that Snape had transferred his hatred for James Potter to Harry and Sirius' inability to protect his godson from Snape's verbal abuse did nothing to help his sense of impotence.

That said, Kate provided Sirius with an anchor and, while their relationship was progressing slowly, it was progressing. While growing up, Sirius had been deprived of any physical demonstration of affection at home. At age 11, however, Sirius found it at Hogwarts, in the boys who would become more brothers than friends. Touch was part of his interaction with everyone – from an arm around Remus' shoulders as they walked to dinner in the Great Hall to his legs draped over James' lap while they sat and plotted pranks in the Common Room, touch kept Sirius grounded. While many thought him callous for his numerous romantic conquests at school, Remus – and later Kate understood that Sirius needed those relationships to feel that someone loved him, no matter how short a time they may have lasted. When Sirius found Kate, he discovered an emotional connection that made the physical affection so much deeper than anything he'd ever experienced. After his time in Azkaban, Sirius craved touch and Kate again filled that need. While their relationship had not progressed into physical intimacy, they were steadily growing closer and could more often than not be found together when Kate was at Headquarters.

As the weather turned colder and the holidays approached, Sirius' mood lightened further. Despite Remus' advice of caution, Sirius approached Dumbledore after an early December order meeting to ask if Harry could spend the Christmas/New Year holidays at Grimmauld rather than at school, as usual. In an amazingly magnanimous gesture, Sirius announced that the Weasleys, too, should certainly plan to spend the holidays – in whole or part – at Headquarters as his guests. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he considered Sirius' generosity as the relationship between the ex-convict and the Weasley matriarch was, as everyone knew, extremely tenuous. He agreed, however, and Sirius' smile lit up the dingy basement kitchen. After Dumbledore left that evening, the trio of Remus, Kate and Sirius settled into the library with warm butter beer and some of Molly's chocolate sugar biscuits left over from dinner.

Remus sat in one of the two wingback chairs in front of the fireplace; Kate settled herself on the loveseat between them. As he entered the room, Sirius grabbed parchment, quill and ink from the desk and dropped onto the floor next to Kate's feet. Clearing the top of the low table before him, he placed his writing supplies on its surface, loaded his quill and began writing.

Kate cast an amused glance at Remus, while inclining her head toward their very much occupied companion. Remus rolled his eyes and laughed to himself.

"You needn't be so smug, Mooney," Sirius commented from the floor, then looked up at his friend. "I know you," he continued as Remus crooked one eyebrow and opened his mouth as if to speak.

"Sirius," Kate chuckled. "What are you scratching out on your bit of parchment? Letter to Father Christmas?"

"No," the dark-haired man responded, pausing to tap the end of the quill against his teeth, as if in thought. "but that's not a bad idea. Perhaps I'll tackle it when I've finished this. Let him know he can transfer the two of you over to his 'naughty list' Save him a bit of time, I'd wager!"

Kate laughed and playfully tapped the top of his head. "Careful there, Padfoot. You're apt to wake up to a stocking full of kibble on Christmas morning. Now, give over. What are you scribbling away on?"

Sirius continued to write, but responded, "A list." Finishing with a flourish, he waved the parchment around to hasten the ink-drying process.

"A list," Remus repeated.

"A list," Sirius replied. "Things to do. Gifts to buy and wrap. Decorations to be put up."

Remus looked over at Kate. "I'm beginning to wish I had an assignment abroad. This project has disaster written all over it!"

"Oh ha, bloody ha, Mooney," Sirius replied. "I would ask you to remember that comments like that will not earn you a very nice present. Harry's coming and I'm going to give him a proper Christmas; most likely the first one he's had since…well, for a long time at any rate. Katie, wouldn't you like to help me transform Grimmauld Place into a proper holiday house?"

Kate smiled absently and rested her hand on his shoulder. "Of course, Sirius," she responded.

"That's my girl!" Sirius popped up from the floor and stretched before dropping gracefully onto the loveseat. "Now, here's what we'll need to do…"

For the next half hour Sirius reviewed his list of tasks, asking both Remus and Kate to help with the things that he could not do, such as trips to Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade. Sirius would be in charge of "trimming", an announcement he made while rubbing his hands together and grinning with abandon. This prompted Remus to proclaim that he feared for both Kreacher's back and Harry's sensitivity to bright lights and glitter. He then announced that he was off to bed and bade them good night.

"That's right, Mooney," Sirius called after him. "You rest up. You've got a busy day tomorrow!"

Sirius was still smiling as the library door closed behind his friend and he was left alone with Kate. Sitting down beside her once again, Sirius took her hand and entwined their fingers. "You've gotten quiet, luv," he said. "Is something wrong?"

Kate turned to find him looking at her uncertainly. "No, I'm just thinking about Harry. Sirius, it's been so long since I've seen him. You know that I wasn't here when he came just before term, so he doesn't know me as a member of the Order – and he met just about everyone back then. Now, when he comes for Christmas, he'll find me living here. Don't you think he'll wonder about that?"

Sirius just stared at her for a moment, confused. "'Here' is Order headquarters. You're a member of the Order. It's really just like Remus, isn't it? I mean, Remus is a member of the Order and he lives here. Same thing, right?"

Kate took a deep breath. "How can you say that, Sirius? I knew his parents. I was a part of the first year of his life – with you. You and I were in a relationship. He and I have a relationship. I'm his Godmother. Shouldn't he know that about me? Shouldn't he have the opportunity to know me in that way?"

Sirius' brow furrowed. "Kate, I don't think this is the time to break that news to him. He's bound to have questions about us and he's going to wonder why no one told him about you before now. Why I didn't tell him. When he was here before the start of term, he was really angry with Dumbledore's edict that he be told nothing of Voldemort's movements. He felt betrayed by his friends who honored that edict. Dropping news like this can only bring that all up again. It's Christmas, Kate - the first one in a long time that we're all under the same roof. Couldn't it wait awhile?"

Kate listened to Sirius with a sinking heart. Since moving into Grimmauld Place, she had listened when Sirius shared the messages Harry sent him by owl, heard Remus' stories of his time spent as Harry's DADA professor and followed various reports of his activities and security filed during Order meetings. Through it all, Kate was increasingly aware of just how close – yet unreachable – her Godson was to her. Now, he would be under the same roof for his four week holiday and she could not tell him who she really was. It was frustrating and Kate's frustration had taken on a life of its own.

"Sirius, please understand where I'm coming from. I don't want the holidays to be stressful for anyone – not for you and certainly not for Harry. I'm totally aware of how much both of you have missed, how much you've suffered. But, Sirius," Kate leaned forward and clasped his hands in both of hers. "Sirius, don't you see? I've missed out, as well. I've lost time with you both. Harry knows that you're his Godfather and you've begun to re-establish that relationship with him. James and Lily intended that I have a similar relationship with him and that's all I'm asking to be able to do. I want so much to re-establish my relationship with Harry!"

Sirius removed his hands from hers and stood, beginning to pace back and forth in front of the hearth. "No, Kate, no! He will think that we've intentionally kept information from him – yet again! It will jeopardize Harry's sense of trust in all of us. The last thing he needs right now is more upheaval in his life." He stopped his pacing and turned to face Kate. "No, Kate. I think it's best that, for now, we introduce you as a member of the Order who went to Hogwarts with his parents, Remus and me. You're staying here because you've relocated from the States and, as we were friends in school, we're all spending time together again. When the time is right, you and I will sit down with him and tell him that James and Lily made us both his Godparents."

Kate felt a chill settle over her. "And when will the time be right, Sirius? When you choose? When Dumbledore gives his blessing? Surely you understand what I'm saying. The longer we wait, the more time is lost to us. You have him back, Sirius. You have your relationship with him now. Don't I deserve the same thing?"

Sirius' eyes never left her face. "Perhaps you should have made a different choice thirteen years ago, Kate," he said, his voice like steel.

"What are you suggesting?" Kate whispered, unwilling to believe where Sirius was headed.

"What I'm saying is that you had a choice to stay or go. Fight or flight, Katie-girl. You chose flight. You went to America; transferred to their Ministry of Magic as an Auror. You didn't have to leave. You could have stayed, you said so yourself. You could have stayed here, seen Harry whenever possible. You didn't, though; you left and you stayed away until Dumbledore summoned you back," he finished, sitting down in the chair Remus had vacated.

The chill Kate had felt earlier took hold in earnest. "Sirius," she said, her throat constricted. "I've told you why I left. I couldn't stay. James and Lily were dead. Peter was dead – I thought – and you were arrested and sent to Azkaban for all of it. Harry was delivered to those hideous Muggle relatives of Lily's. They would never have given him to me, Sirius never. Think of it: we were living together, everyone knew – Madeye, Dawlish, Kingsley." Kate rose and walked over to the mantle, her back to Sirius as she continued. "After I watched them arrest you, I went home. I suppose I was looking for something – anything that would explain why you had done it. I wasn't home an hour before they knocked at the door. I sat in an interrogation room for 6 bloody hours, Sirius, while they asked me questions I never thought I would have to answer about our relationship, our friends – your family. When they released me – no apologies mind you, for thinking I might have been involved – I went back home. Only, it wasn't much of a "home" by the time I got there. Apparently, after I was taken to the Ministry, a team of Aurors – our colleagues, Sirius – came to the flat and searched it. There wasn't much left intact. It was abundantly clear to me that I wasn't going to be allowed anywhere near Harry. Remus was nowhere to be found, Lily, James and Peter were dead and you were in prison. I was alone. I cut my losses and went where I thought I could safely regroup. It was never my intention to leave permanently. I always planned to return." Kate paused and turned around to face her former lover. He was looking at the fire and did not look up to meet her gaze. His expression was neutral, but a muscle in his jaw jumped as if he was clenching his teeth.

"You don't have to worry, Sirius. I won't disturb your relationship with Harry. You can introduce me any way you'd like and I'll go along with it; you won't have any trouble from me. I would ask, though, that you try to understand that my alternative to leaving was unacceptable: suspicion at work, nothing to come home to and no hope of seeing my Godson. It really wasn't much of a choice. I think I'll call it a night," Kate crossed the room and left.

Sirius remained seated for a moment after Kate closed the door, then rose suddenly and crossed the room to the liquor cabinet. He pulled out a bottle of Firewhiskey, threw the library door open with force and headed up the stairs to his room.


	7. Stalemate

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Kate kept her distance from Sirius in the days following their disagreement. Work brought her home later than usual the following evening, having secured her portion of the items on Sirius' list. She found Remus alone in the kitchen, having just returned from guard duty. Sirius was nowhere to be found. Kate dropped the packages onto Sirius' chair and went over to the stove to inspect the leftovers in the pot Molly had left there. Helping herself to some of the stew, she joined Remus at the table for dinner.

Remus inclined his head toward Sirius' chair and the packages stacked there. "Finished your errands, did you?" he inquired, smiling.

Kate nodded. "Yes, mission accomplished. You?"

"Of course," he replied. "Far be it from me to risk the wrath of Sirius Black. Speaking of whom, do you happen to know why the Master of the house is passing the evening with Buckbeak? I would have thought he'd be waiting at the door, tapping his foot until his Christmas bounty was delivered."

Kate decided to ignore the bait. "No idea," she responded. "Perhaps he's decided that Bucky needs some trimming up for the holiday. How was guard duty?"

If Remus recognized the deft shift in topics he gave no indication of it. "Uneventful," he told her. "Care for tea if I put on the kettle?"

Kate shook her head. "I'm exhausted and I've an early morning meeting at the Ministry. I'm heading to bed. I'll take a rain check, though." Kate rose and picked up her bowl, but Remus stilled her hand.

"Leave it. I'll take care of it. Get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow," he told her.

"Thanks," Kate dropped a kiss on the top of the werewolf's head and headed for the door. "You're sweet."

Kate hadn't been gone long when Sirius entered the kitchen and poured himself some tea. Pulling out his chair, he noticed the packages Kate had placed there and moved them to the floor before sitting down.

"Kate left them for you," Remus said, but received no response. "Sirius?" he tried again.

"I heard you, Mooney," Sirius growled.

Remus remained silent, knowing from experience that his friend would speak when he was ready to do so and not before. They sat sipping their tea for awhile then, true to form, Sirius spoke.

"Mooney, where did you go after James and Lily died?"

Accustomed as he'd become to Sirius' seemingly random questions and comments – particularly since his return from Azkaban – this one caught Remus off guard. "Oh, Padfoot, that was so long ago," he began, but when he looked up and caught Sirius' eye, he knew his friend would not settle for vague answers. What he didn't know was the reason for this line of conversation. "Alright. I went back to my family's home up north for awhile. Of course, I couldn't stay there forever with no money, so I went to Muggle London and lived there for a time. When I could, I tutored children to pay the rent," he finished.

Sirius looked at him. "Where did you go for full moons?"

Remus closed his eyes briefly, remembering those terrible times. "When I was staying at my parents' house, I stayed in the shed. When I moved to London, I transformed in the Shack. I did what I had to do and I'm still here, so it worked out fine in the end. Padfoot, what brought this on?"

Sirius shrugged and looked up. "Something Kate said last night, that's all." At Remus' raised eyebrow, Sirius sighed and continued, "She was talking about why she went to America and somewhere in the list she mentioned that you weren't around. I just wondered where you went."

The kitchen was quiet for a bit, then Remus broke the silence. "She had a hard time of it, Pads."

Sirius ran his hand through his hair and rose. "So I've heard, Mooney. So I've heard."

With that, he walked from the room, leaving Remus shaking his head. "What did I miss after I left the library last night?" he wondered.

The following morning, Sirius awoke to a furry tongue and a blistering headache. Eyes closed, he struggled to sit up, groaning as both his stomach and head objected to the movement. He waited for his stomach to settle a bit then slowly rose and made his way to the bathroom. Once there, Sirius opened the mirrored cabinet and removed a small bottle from the shelf. Uncorking it with his thumb, Sirius downed the violet-colored contents in one shot. Immediately, the physical effects of the previous night's Firewhiskey began to ease and Sirius sighed gratefully. As the fog in his brain began to lift, however, his gratitude began to dissipate, as well. Sirius relived himself, then headed for the shower. The hot water sluiced over his body, dipping into still visible hollows between ribs, curving into the slightly concave stomach and catching in the dark hair between his thighs. Sirius followed the trail of water and snorted derisively. His appearance and overall physical health had improved in the past months, with Molly's cooking and lack of exposure to the elements. Sirius, however, couldn't help but think about how he had looked before Azkaban had ravaged both body and mind. As it so often did these days, his thoughts turned to Kate, still beautiful, still vibrant, still whole. What in Merlin's name was she doing with him? Sirius shook himself, then deliberately rinsed the shampoo from his hair and quickly finished his shower. He didn't need to linger and give his mind the chance to wander into those areas. Drying off and wrapping the towel around his waist, Sirius wiped the condensation from the mirror with his hand. The face that looked back at him was gaunt and there were shadows beneath his eyes.

"Less drink and more sleep are advisable, young man," the mirror commented.

"Shut it, you," Sirius growled. "Keep it up and you'll find yourself in the attic."

His response was enough to silence the mirror, but not his overactive mind. His thoughts turned back to Kate and the current coolness between them. Sirius hated it, but was at a loss how to repair the damage. He really felt Harry had enough to contend with as it was without dealing with the knowledge of a Godmother about whom no one had told him. If Sirius was to be completely truthful with himself, he would admit that disappointing Harry was a huge part of that decision. He just didn't want to let him down – again. The last time he made the wrong decision regarding Harry's well-being, his parents had been murdered. Sirius felt the familiar pang of guilt and loss assail him as that thought crossed his mind. He dressed quickly and headed down to the kitchen as if the action could put distance between himself and his guilt.

Sirius expected to find the kitchen in darkness as the sun had not yet arisen. Instead, he stopped in his tracks as he saw Kate sitting at the table with, by the scent, a steaming cup of coffee. She was not yet aware of his presence and Sirius took the opportunity to watch her quietly for however long he could do so. Kate's chin was resting in her hand as she contemplated her cup. Her hair had been brushed to a soft sheen and, as she absently reached up to tuck a section behind one ear, Sirius had a clear view of Kate's profile: the long eyelashes that brushed down toward high cheekbones when her eyes were closed; the porcelain skin with a hint of rose at her cheek, the straight nose with its dusting of freckles over the bridge and her full lips, lush and moist. Sirius remembered how soft they felt against his mouth when they had kissed in the library only weeks ago. The memory made their current situation more unbearable than it already was. Not wishing to explore those particular thoughts further, Sirius stepped into the room.

"Good morning," he said quietly. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to startle you." This said after Kate jumped at the sound of his voice.

Kate shook her head. "Occupational hazard." She quickly drank the remainder of her coffee, grimacing slightly as it burned its way down her throat. She didn't want to spend any more time alone with Sirius than she could help – not until she could sort out how to handle the bitterness and anger she still felt over the question of Harry. "I have to get going," she told him, crossing to the sink with her cup.

"Katie," Sirius reached out to touch her arm as she passed him. Kate didn't allow his hand to linger and continued moving. He sighed. "You're up early this morning," he offered.

"I have an early meeting at the Ministry and a full calendar after that. I really need to go," she walked back to the table, removing her wand from her robes and shrinking her leather briefcase until it was the size of a Muggle postage stamp. As she was pocketing the case, Sirius spoke again.

"Will you be back for dinner?" he asked, almost afraid for the answer.

Kate turned to face him after securing the clasp of her coat. "No, I've made dinner plans with a friend. I'll be back late."

Sirius spoke before he could stop himself. "Oh? Plans with whom? Anyone I know?"

Kate turned at the door. "You know, Sirius, I do have friends of my own." Seeing Remus enter the kitchen, she added, "Good morning, Remus. I'll see you both later." Then, she was gone. Silence descended over the kitchen, broken only by the sound of the front door closing. Miraculously, the portrait of Sirius' mother slept on.

"Leave it, Remus," Sirius snapped and left the room. He realized his friend had arrived in time to hear the latter part of his conversation with Kate. He really didn't feel like a lecture on his behavior at this hour of the morning.

Kate arrived at the Ministry earlier than necessary, giving her some time to work on open files before the staff meeting that had been called the previous day. Kate was planning to use some of the significant vacation time she had accumulated while assigned to Washington and had scheduled it to coincide with Harry's holidays at Grimmauld Place. If she couldn't let on to him that she was his Godmother, she'd spend as much time with him as she could in an attempt to re-establish some type of bond with the boy. Sirius was, as yet, unaware of her plans and she wasn't sure how he'd feel about them. Hell, she wasn't sure how she felt about them. Kate closed her eyes as she felt the anger arise again. One thing she did know was that she had to resolve this anger she felt toward Sirius or Christmas wasn't going to be very merry at all! Kate had just finished the largest pile of files when Bill Weasley's head popped into her doorway.

"Bill!" Kate exclaimed. "What on earth are you doing here at this hour of the day?"

Bill grinned and took her comment as an invitation to step into the room. "Bank business," he said vaguely. "And since I was going to be here anyway, I figured I'd confirm that we're still on for tonight."

Kate had met Bill a few years earlier when Gringott's had sent the curse breaker to Washington to deal with an issue involving King Tut's exhibit at the Smithsonian. After dealing with a minor, yet annoying curse that caused the sarcophagus to emit faint moans and squeals whenever children passed, Bill had been sitting in a café near the Ministry when Kate had walked in. She caught sight of his red hair and couldn't get over his resemblance to the Prewett brothers who had been in her year at Hogwarts. She went over to his table and introduced herself. His accent was like music to her ear after living so long away from home. Despite the slight age difference, they had become friends and the friendship allowed Kate to keep at least somewhat in touch with the goings on at home. When Bill heard from Molly that Kate had returned to London, he dropped by the Auror division to see if they might renew their friendship over dinner.

Kate smiled at the redhead. "You bet," she said. "It will be nice to catch up. Meet you at the Three Broomsticks around 6?"

Bill returned the smile. "Six it is, then."

Just as Bill departed, Kingsley stopped by to pick her up for their meeting and Kate's day was underway in earnest.


	8. Early Arrivals & Emotional Encounters

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Kate entered Grimmauld Place close to midnight - far later than she'd intended when she'd spoken with Sirius earlier that morning. She crept quietly by the portrait of Walburga Black in an effort to avoid unnecessary noise – and Sirius' appearance to restore silence.

Kate made her way upstairs to her room, pausing only briefly as she passed Sirius' room. Predictably, light was filtering from beneath the door, but no sound could be heard. As she prepared for bed, Kate thought about her evening. She'd had a great time with Bill, although she was a bit tired of his dissertation on the wonders of Fleur Delacourt by the time they'd finished the main course. But, just because her love life was on life support didn't mean she couldn't feel happiness for someone else. Bill was a nice guy and he was clearly (and verbosely) smitten with the half-Veela; Kate wished them both well.

After showering and applying a drying charm to her hair, Kate slipped into a tank top and runner's shorts and settled into her bed. She was exhausted, but sleep was slow to come to her. Just at the moment that she felt herself drop off, Kate was awakened by a piercing cry. She flew out of bed, throwing on her robe and grabbing her wand from the bedside table. Slowly, she opened the door to the hallway, wand at the ready, and looked from one end of the hall to the other. Kate sighed. Nothing. She was about to go back into her room when a shuddering cry split the air. "Sirius", Kate whispered.

Kate tried the door and found it unlocked. Carefully, quietly, she entered the room which was now completely dark, the candle having burned out. "Lumos," she whispered and her wand immediately shot light into the dark corners of Sirius' room. She drew a sharp breath at the sight of his empty bed. Kate glanced toward the bathroom door, but it was open and the room beyond it dark. Suddenly, Kate heard a whimper from the direction of the bed and she proceeded across the room cautiously. "Oh, Sirius," she whispered when she found him. Sirius was lying on the floor, sheets trailing across the bed and onto the floor, portions clutched in his fists, as he'd taken them with him as he fell. The front of his pajama pants were soaked through and a strong smell of urine permeated the room. Kate knelt beside Sirius, watching his face carefully. His mouth was open in a silent scream and his eyes, open and bright with tears, were focused on something only he could see. His hair was damp with perspiration and stuck to his cheeks and forehead. Kate reached over to brush it back and, as she did so, he blinked once, then again and came back to himself. Sirius recoiled as he registered that it was Kate beside him and he realized what she had witnessed. "No," he cried, struggling to sit up.

"Sirius, please, it's ok. It was just a bad dream. Let me help you," Kate tried to soothe him, alarmed by his reaction to her presence.

"No!" he said, scrambling to his feet. "Just leave. Go," Sirius was still shaking and he refused to look at Kate as he spoke.

"Sirius, please," Kate whispered, reaching out to him again.

"Get out," Sirius said, turning his back to her. "Just get out." When he turned again, Kate was gone. He walked to his bathroom, still trying to breathe deeply and calm himself. He stripped the soiled nightclothes from his body and vanished them with a disgusted wave of his hand. He had lost control of his bladder for the first time since the early days of his escape and this time, Kate had seen. Kate had seen. He turned on the water in the shower until it was just short of scalding. As he stood under the powerful spray, he closed his eyes and let the water wash away the evidence of his dream. It was one of his oldest nightmares, with a new twist. He was in his cell in Azkaban and he was so cold, so alone. The damp seeped in from the sea, permeating the stone walls and facilitating the growth of slimy, green moss on walls, ceiling and floor. Lying on the slippery floor, Sirius slept fitfully and his unconscious mind ran the images of his discovery of James and Lily in the rubble of Godrics Hollow. Although dead, their faces took on a curious animation as Sirius looked down on them. It was as if some force of the afterlife caused them to recognize him and to react to his presence. "Traitor!" James' white lips formed the accusation, but the words were heard only in dream-Sirius' mind. "You were my brother – Godfather to my only son and you betrayed us!" "NO!" Sirius tried to cry out, but he could force no sound from his throat. He turned to Lily, whom he had come to love as a friend and not just the wife of his best mate. He found that where James' gaze was harsh and accusing, Lily's eyes conveyed the agony of his betrayal. It was as if all of the pain he felt in his heart was reflected in her beautiful face. "You said you loved us, that you would protect us. We believed you and you betrayed us. You turned us over to them, Sirius. You've left Harry with nothing." Sirius struggled to his feet stumbling over the rubble that used to be their home. As he tried to speak to Lily, to tell her the truth, her face changed and suddenly, it wasn't Lily he was looking at – it was Kate. But there was no animation to her face. She was dead. It was at this point that Sirius had awakened to find the real Kate next to him, trying to comfort him. Sirius reached blindly for the soap and the flannel and began to scrub himself. Hot tears ran down his cheeks as his humiliation at being discovered in a completely weak state coursed through him. He rinsed the soap from his body and started again. When he was satisfied that he had thoroughly cleansed himself, he rinsed one more time, then turned off the water and stepped into the steamy bathroom. Sirius didn't bother with a towel, just strode naked into his bedroom, located his wand and performed a quick drying spell. As he was pulling on a pair of Muggle jeans and a t-shirt, he heard a series of sharp raps on his door. Before Sirius could cross the room to answer, he heard Remus' voice from the hallway, calling his name. When Sirius pulled open the door, Remus stood before him, his robes askew and his normally calm face flushed and showing considerable strain. "Padfoot," he said urgently. "Hurry. Arthur Weasley's been attacked at the Ministry. Dumbledore just sent word that the Weasleys and Harry will be arriving by Floo within the hour. We need to be prepared."

Sirius nodded then stopped Remus with a frantic hand on his arm. "Harry? Remus, what has he to do with this?"

Remus regarded his old friend for a moment. "He saw the attack in a dream, Sirius. He's the one who alerted Dumbledore that it had happened."

Sirius followed his friend down the staircase then said, breathlessly, "Kate, she should know…"

Remus cut him off. "She knows, Padfoot. She's at the Ministry now. She will be the one who "discovers" Arthur so we can hopefully cover up Order Operations."

Sirius continued to the kitchen with no further questions.

Once downstairs, Sirius had rousted Kreacher and sent him to making up the numerous bedrooms on the 2nd and 3rd floors of the house to ensure that everyone would be comfortable. Dumbledore had sent word by owl that Molly was en route to 's to be with Arthur; she would provide an update on his condition when one was known.

Kate had arrived shortly afterward and had set to work making sandwiches for the kids when they arrived. She knew that it had already been a long night for everyone; surely there would be several more hours of waiting before more information came in. Remus joined her in the kitchen while Sirius went down to the dusty basement to retrieve one of a number of cases of butter beer that had been stored there. He took a great deal of time as he unpacked the bottles and set them out at one end of the large table and cast a chilling charm to make them ready for the guests' arrival. Sirius' efforts to avoid Kate and his preoccupation with the smaller details of the table were evidence of the state of his nerves as they waited for Harry to arrive.

As it happened, they didn't have long to wait. Shortly after the last plate had been set out, the kitchen hearth blazed a curious shade of green and Ron Weasley stepped into the kitchen, swaying slightly. "Professor Lupin," Ron said as he swayed a bit, catching sight of Remus standing nearby.

"Ron," Remus greeted his former student, then barely pulled him out of the way in time to avoid a collision with Ginny, who was followed by the twins and, finally, Harry. He looked around the room until he found the person he had been searching for. "Sirius," he murmured, walking over to his Godfather. Sirius embraced the boy, holding him for a long moment before releasing him and speaking to him softly. Harry nodded, his slumped shoulders lifting slightly as Sirius led him over to the table where the others were sitting. As Kate looked away from the scene, her emotions clearly showing on her face, she jumped when she intercepted Remus' gaze. Quickly arranging her features into a neutral expression, she went up to the Weasleys and introduced herself, offering them food and butter beer as they settled in to wait for word from Molly. When she had finished, she turned to find that Harry and Sirius had left the room. Kate's vision blurred as her eyes filled with tears. This was the last straw; she could take no more tonight. She waited until everyone seemed occupied and quietly made her way up to her room. As she passed the open library door, she heard Harry and Sirius talking quietly and paused, out of sight, to watch them. Sirius' voice was calm, soothing and Harry seemed to be responding to whatever he was saying. The boy's face had relaxed and his body language indicated that some type of burden had been at least partially lifted. As Kate looked at her Godson, she was struck by what a perfect combination he was of both James and Lily. Clearly, he adored Sirius and Kate could see that the love was most definitely returned. A step on the landing startled her and Kate turned to see Remus making his way to the library. He inclined his head toward the library and she nodded. Rather than go into the room, Remus gazed at Kate a moment longer then whispered, "Alright?" his concern showing clearly in his face. Kate's eyes filled again and, before she could say anything, Sirius and Harry came out of the library.

"Hello, Professor Lupin," Harry spoke to Remus, extending his hand.

Remus grasped it warmly. "Harry," he responded. "I'm glad to see you again."

Harry turned and looked curiously at Kate. He glanced at Sirius, who was looking at Remus and, when he didn't move, Harry turned. "Hello," he said, walking toward Kate. "I'm Harry."

'Hello, I'm Harry'. Kate took a deep breath and swallowed hard. She never dreamed it would be this hard when she actually saw Harry again. She walked toward the boy she hadn't seen in 13 years; the boy who was the child of two of her best friends; her Godson. 'Hello, I'm Harry'. Calmly, Kate smiled, extended her hand and said, "I'm very happy to meet you, Harry. I'm Kate. Kate Morgan. I work at the Ministry." Kate searched his face for any sign of recognition but saw nothing more than the polite, respectful face of a 15 year old boy.

Remus stepped in, sensing her emotions. "Kate is a member of the Order, as well, Harry. She coordinated Arthur's discovery at the Ministry earlier tonight."

Harry nodded and smiled, then turned back to join Sirius. As Kate's eyes followed his progress down the hall, she caught Sirius' gaze for just a moment. She was certain that the pain she saw there reflected her own. Then, he looked away and the connection was broken.

Remus began to speak. "I came up here to tell you that Molly has just arrived. It appears that while the snake caused some significant injuries, the Healers feel that Arthur will make a full recovery. Harry, you can all go and see him later today."

Harry exhaled and gave Remus a faint smile. "Thanks, Professor," he said.

"I think it's time you and the Weasleys got some sleep," Sirius said, steering Harry gently toward the stairs leading to the third floor. "Why don't you go on up? I'm sure Molly will be sending the others momentarily."

Harry smiled and turned to go up the stairs. He paused before he had gotten too far and went back to the landing. He put his arms around Sirius, hugging him hard for a few moments, then turned and walked up to the third floor.

Kate couldn't hold back the sob that tore at the back of her throat and, before anyone could speak, she half ran down the opposite end of the hallway to her room and closed the door behind her.


	9. A Difficult Decision

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Kate was grateful to reach her room before completely breaking down. The evening had presented her with more emotion than she could handle – particularly on the heels of her confrontation with Sirius over Harry. Kate sat down hard on her bed. Harry. Gods, he was such a perfect combination of his parents – and yet there was something that was purely himself. Kate felt the hot tears slip down her cheeks and covered her face with her hands and simply sobbed. Sirius, who had caused her so much pain in the past 24 hours, was drowning in his own. When she reached out to comfort him, he pushed her away. Now, the bitter truth was that Sirius was further from her today than he had been when imprisoned in Azkaban. And, of course, there was their division of opinion about Harry. Kate had only a dim idea of why Sirius was taking such an adamant stand regarding her own relationship with the boy, but she suspected that his motives might be more complex than perhaps even he realized. Sirius may be very reluctant to relinquish any part of his relationship with Harry to anyone because of what had happened when he relinquished control of James and Lily. Kate's tears did not slow as she remembered meeting Harry in the hallway. The child had had to introduce himself to the stranger in front of him; Sirius couldn't even bring himself to introduce them. At least Remus had stepped in to clarify her position in the Order as well as the role she had played in Arthur's discovery and transport to hospital. Sirius, meanwhile, chose to remove Harry from the situation and, as was to be expected, what Sirius suggested, Harry followed. Sirius was as close to a parental figure as Harry had.

Kate slowly brought herself under control. She crossed the room to her bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. Although she was exhausted, Kate knew she could not sleep, particularly given the headache she had developed in the past half hour. Remembering the various medicinal potions Molly kept downstairs, Kate decided to see if she could find something for her head so she could find some much needed rest.

Descending the staircase, Kate made her way to the kitchen silently. Other than the odd sounds of the house, Kate heard nothing to indicate that any of the other inhabitants were roaming the halls. She was surprised, therefore, to find Sirius seated at the table when she reached her destination. Her surprise was echoed on Sirius' face as he turned at the sound of someone entering the room.

Their eyes met briefly but neither spoke. Kate crossed swiftly to the potions cabinet and began searching for the headache remedy. Finally locating it, Kate uncorked the bottle and drank its contents in one swallow. She then rinsed the small bottle, placed it on the side of the sink and retraced her steps to the door. Kate had almost crossed the threshold when Sirius' hoarse voice met her ears.

"Kate…"

Kate turned. "No," she said to him softly. "I feel too much anger and resentment toward you to try to have a productive conversation. I'm not trying to hurt you by saying this; if I were trying to hurt you, I would lie and tell you that everything is ok and that we are fine. Neither of those statements is true, however. I made a promise to you when I moved in here. I told you that I would always tell you the truth – and so I am. The truth is that I don't know how to fix what's happened between us and I don't know how to change the way I feel right now. I reached out to you tonight and you pushed me away. I stood in the hallway with you and our godson and he had to introduce himself to me. James and Lily gave us responsibility for him in the event they died, but you won't allow me to fulfill that responsibility. You have reserved the role of godparent for yourself and that decision has caused me so much more pain than I believe you can understand. In my heart I know that you are suffering too, and it grieves me that I can do nothing to help you. And for all of that, I'm sorry. I don't want to argue with you. I want to sleep, if I can. I want to spend time in this house while Harry is here because it gives me an opportunity to get to know him on some level, at least."

Sirius nodded, but did not face her. "Are we finished?" he asked his voice barely audible.

Confused, Kate said, "I'm going upstairs to bed, so I guess we are."

Sirius raised his head and looked at her and Kate caught her breath at the pain etched on his face. "I'm sorry, I wasn't clear. I meant to ask if we're giving up on trying to be together."

Kate felt her eyes fill. "I don't know," she whispered. "I can't go on like this any longer, I know that, but I'm not sure I'm ready to walk away from you just yet, either."

Sirius released a ragged breath and nodded again. "So you'll stay? At least for now?"

Kate nodded. "Yes. I'll stay for now."

"Goodnight, Kate," Sirius whispered.

"Goodnight," she responded and left the room.

XXXXXXXX

The following morning saw many tired faces gathered around the kitchen. The Weasleys were exhausted by the events of the previous evening, but were also buoyed up by the prospect of visiting Arthur later that morning. Remus as well as Sirius' cousin, Nymphadora Tonks would accompany the group, providing protection for Harry, who would go with them. From the time they had met, Kate had taken a liking to the young Metamorphmagus, with her bright hair, cheerful disposition and commitment to the Order. For her part, Tonks, as she preferred to be known, admired Kate and made excuses to be part of her detail whenever possible. Kate couldn't help but notice that Tonks seemed to have something of a crush on Remus. She hoped Remus would give the relationship - if there was to be one – a chance. He was so adamant that his lycanthropy prevented any intimacy or long term relationship that Kate was afraid it would all be over before it could properly start.

Just before everyone was to leave for the hospital, Sirius came into the kitchen and rested a hand on Harry's shoulder as he greeted everyone. His eyes found hers briefly before moving on. The sound of stumbling feet and a murmured, "Bugger!" heralded the arrival of Tonks. When she entered and found everyone looking at her, Tonks became indignant for a moment, asking, "Who moved the bloody umbrella stand? Damn near broke my neck!"

There were scattered chuckles at Tonks' words. True to herself, though, Tonks merely greeted Kate with her favorite, "Wotcher, Kate! Are you coming with us this morning?"

Kate smiled at the young woman with the shocking pink hair. "Not this time, I'm afraid. I didn't draw this assignment. Perhaps we can work together on the next one."

Tonks smiled brightly, "I hope so, Kate!"

Harry looked over at Tonks and caught Kate's eye. He smiled tentatively and Kate felt herself smile warmly in response. She was standing near enough to the boy to speak and so she said, "Good morning, Harry. Are you looking forward to your visit?"

Harry's brilliant green eyes clouded for a moment, then he shook it off and said, "I'm glad that Mr. Weasley will be alright. It will be nice to see him for myself, though."

"But…" Kate ventured, not knowing how he would react.

Harry searched her face for a moment and seemed to find whatever it was he needed to feel comfortable answering honestly. "But…it's hard," he said. "I saw it happen my dream and my perspective of the attack was…," Harry paused, closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them, his face and demeanor were more relaxed. "well, it was if I was the snake. Sirius and I talked for awhile last night, though and he said a lot of things that made sense, you know?"

Kate nodded. "I do. I think that Sirius' perspective on this situation is one that you should listen to. He was in the first War, after all and has experiences that will be a huge help in this one. And, of course, he loves you very much." Harry listened and, when Kate finished, he smiled – the first genuine smile she had seen since she'd seen him the previous night. He nodded. "I know. Thanks, Kate," he finished. Kate just smiled in return.

Remus called over to them. "Harry, we're leaving, now. Ready?"

Harry glanced at Kate one more time, and then walked over to join the others. Kate smiled softly and walked over to pour herself some tea.

XXXXXXXX

Later that morning, Kate went into the library and found the boxes of Christmas decorations that Kreacher had so unwillingly (and loudly) brought down from the attic. Sirius had, apparently, begun to put up some of the garland and a large tree had been magically secured in front of the large windows at one end of the room. Kate took her wand from her pocket and murmured, "Revelo" while pointing at the largest of the cartons before her. The contents were quickly revealed and she smiled. A sound behind her caused her to turn suddenly and the spell ended. Sirius was standing in the open doorway, his face less grim than it had been.

"Hi," Kate said quietly. She gestured around her. "You certainly lit a fire under Kreacher."

Sirius smiled wryly. "No, but it's certainly something to consider." He paused, looking at her face for a moment then, "Katie, thank you for what you said to Harry this morning."

"I only spoke the truth," she replied. "You are in the unique position of being able to keep that boy whole through everything he has to face in the coming months – perhaps years."

Sirius snorted. "Ironic, isn't it? Me. Keeping anyone whole when I'm hardly whole myself."

"Oh, I don't know," Kate replied. "I hear that it's all a matter of perspective, after all."

"Katie, I know that you're not happy with me and unsure of whether or not we'll move forward, but I'm glad you stayed. I'm glad you're here," Sirius said, his eyes never leaving her face.

Kate smiled softly. "I am, too." She looked around the room again, then back at Sirius.

"Well, then, shall we see what we can do to pull this all together before the others return?"

Sirius smiled, then and came into the room. "Yes, let's – all except the tree. That's something we should all do together, alright?"

Kate nodded and they opened the first carton and began.


	10. Decorations and Advice

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

When the group returned from St. Mungo's, their relief at seeing Arthur doing so well released their natural exuberance. As a result, their laughter and excited chatter awakened the portrait of Sirius' mother and soon, Sirius and Remus were called upon to restore silence. Once the curtains were closed, Sirius turned to the group and smiled. "Good visit, I take it?"

At their nods and smiles, he suggested that a full report be shared down in the kitchen where Kate had prepared dinner.

"She has?!" Molly exclaimed. "Well, perhaps I'll just pop down ahead and see if there's anything I can do to help." As she bustled her way through the huddle of people gathered in the hallway, Sirius and Remus looked at each other and rolled their eyes before joining the others.

As it turned out, Molly needn't have worried. Kate had baked a huge lasagna which was accompanied by a large tossed salad and baskets of steaming garlic rolls, dripping butter. Sirius brought some of his father's best wine from the cellar and the group declared the feast was a fit celebration of Arthur's improvement. At the end of the meal, Sirius tapped his knife against his wine glass for attention. When the room fell quiet, he raised his glass. "To Kate, who gave us this feast."

"To Kate!" came the chorus, while Sirius caught Kate's eye and dropped her wink before continuing.

"And to friends and family who come together to share it!"

"Cheers!" came the response, as Harry grinned at his Godfather.

"And now, I understand that Molly has a lovely chocolate cake for pudding – yes?" Sirius turned toward the Weasley matriarch who, fortified by the wine, actually giggled and nodded. "Good," Sirius continued. "May I suggest that we have tea and cake in the library?" Everyone rose from the table. Fred and George levitated the cake and led the little parade, followed by Ron and Ginny who, still underage and unable to use magic away from school, carried the tea things carefully. Everyone else followed along behind. When they reached the library, Sirius made his way to the front of the group and held up his hands for quiet.

Remus leaned down to Kate and said, "Bit of a glimpse of the old Sirius isn't it? He always did love the spotlight!" Kate chuckled and nodded.

"Although the circumstances are far from ideal, I am very glad to have all of you here for the holidays. While you were out this afternoon, Kate and I decided that the place needed to be a bit more festive and we'd like to reveal the fruits of our labors." As Sirius finished, he opened the double doors with a flourish, exposing a very festive library, indeed. Everyone was appropriately awed by the display of garland, fairy lights, velvet bows and gold and red glass baubles. From the mantel to the wall sconces, the bookcases to the huge tree in the corner, the room fairly screamed "Christmas".

"Sirius," piped up Harry, as he stood next to a grinning Ron. "Didn't you forget something?" When Sirius looked confused, Harry laughed and pointed to the tree. "Or did you run out of decorations before you got to it?"

Sirius smiled, put his arm around Harry's shoulders, and then laughingly slid it upward, catching the teenager in a playful headlock. Harry let out a squeal of protest, but was clearly enjoying this horseplay with is Godfather. Sirius ruffled the youth's already unruly hair then let him go. "No, Harry, I did not forget the tree. Really, you do remind me of your Mum sometimes, the way you speak to me. Positively wounding she could be, eh, Remus?"

Remus smiled slyly at his friend. "Well, Padfoot, I do seem to remember that you generally deserved her reprimands."

Sirius shook his head sorrowfully. "Don't listen to him, Harry. Mooney likes to ct as if he never pulled a prank when, in fact, he was most often the mastermind behind some of our best!"

"Perhaps," Remus responded. "Or perhaps it is nearer the truth to say that when you were caught out in one of your pranks, you inevitably had James with you. The resulting detentions generally disrupted Lily's plans for him, earning you a lecture," he finished.

As if at a Muggle tennis match, all heads turned from Remus to Sirius to see how the verbal volley would be returned.

"Pay no attention to him," Sirius tapped his head with an index finger and dropped his voice to a whisper. "Memory's not what it used to be." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "As I was saying," Sirius' voice rose over Remus' teasing retort. "the tree must be decorated by everyone because it belongs to everyone." He waived his wand in the direction of the sofa and four cartons rose in the air. He directed them to the front of the tree and eager teenagers converged upon them.

Sirius watched them go to it and felt strong sense of well-being settle over him. Despite all the uncertainty in his life and the lives of those he loved, in this moment, he felt almost peaceful. Lost in thought, he didn't hear Molly approach and was startled when he felt her hand on his arm.

"Sirius," she said, her eyes moist. "I know that we haven't seen eye to eye on everything, but I am most appreciative for your generosity and I want to thank you for everything you are doing for my family and for opening your home to us for Christmas." Once finished, she stretched up and gave him a small kiss on his cheek.

Sirius looked stunned for a moment, and then managed, "Not at all Molly. I'm happy to be able to help." All the while, he was patting her hand, awkwardly.

Kate and Remus had been watching the exchange and Kate leaned over to him and said, "Well, how I've seen everything," she whispered, eyes twinkling.

"Indeed," came the equally amused reply.

After Molly moved away from him, Sirius dropped down onto the sofa beside Kate.

Remus couldn't resist. "So, Padfoot," he said, his voice strained with the effort of keeping his laughter at bay. "Arthur is injured in the line of Order duty and you and Molly…" he couldn't finish.

Sirius turned his head slowly and glared at his old friend. "Don't finish that thought, Mooney. My sense of humor isn't that quite that good." He turned back to the scene before him, watching the boys and Ginny as they decorated the tree. "You know," he said softly. "Mother made the House Elves decorate the house – and the tree – for the holidays. She said that purebloods did no manual labor whatsoever and she included holiday decorating in her definition of 'manual labor'". Sirius sighed. "They don't seem to mind, though, do they?"

Kate said, "Neither did you earlier today. Why don't you join them? I'm sure Harry will appreciate establishing this tradition with his Godfather."

Sirius looked sharply at her, but saw no anger in her face. Kate realized, belatedly, how what she had said must have sounded and added, "Sirius, I'm not being anything but honest. I don't have an agenda here. Go. Help give him a good family memory connected to Christmas."

Sirius looked at her for a moment longer, then rose and crossed the room to the tree. Pulling an ancient Goblin glass ornament from a box, he handed it to Harry and the two remained shoulder to shoulder as everyone worked together to finish the tree.

"You'll forgive me for asking, but I had the impression that perhaps things were not going well between you and Sirius," Remus said quietly. "Based on this evening, it seems that things are now settled?"

Kate turned and looked at him. "No, actually, they're not. Decidedly not. What has he told you?" she asked, curiously.

"Not a word, actually," Remus replied. "Unusual, that. Sirius may take his time, but he generally needs to talk when something is bothering him."

Kate nodded. "He may yet. We're in a sort of truce at the moment. I don't know where things will end up with us." Kate sighed, sadly. "You must feel like the Order's unofficial, resident 'Agony Aunt" sometimes – always listening to our woes."

Remus shook his head. "I care about you – both of you. Really, I'm not prying. Just concerned. I do keep confidences rather well, you know."

Kate smiled and squeezed his hand. "So I've heard," she said. "Remus, I'm not sure where to start. He says he wants to work on exploring a relationship – whatever it might be. His actions, thought, don't always agree with that goal. He won't tell Harry I'm his Godmother on the strength of his assumption that Harry may feel betrayed that no on had told him before." Kate broke off and watched Sirius with Harry for a moment.

Remus followed her gaze then said, "You realize, of course, that Sirius defines 'no one' as himself."

Kate nodded. "Oh, yes. Moreover, the 'betrayal' he fears Harry will feel is an extension of what he feels he did to James and Lily. I've figured out that part, as well. Remus, I don't want to intrude on what they're building together – truly, I don't. Their relationship is critical to them both. They need each other. But I can't help but be resentful and angry that he's refusing me even a small piece of it."

Remus tightened his grip on her hand slightly. "Have you said anything to him?"

"Yes, the other night," she replied. "Remus, do you know about the nightmares?"

Remus' face turned very serious. "Yes," he said quietly, glancing over to where Sirius and Harry were still working together on the tree. "How do you know about them? I didn't think that you had…," he trailed off, his face turning pink.

"No, no, we haven't," Kate said. "The other night, when I came in late, I was preparing for bed and heard him cry out. When I got to his room, he had fallen from the bed and was lying on the floor. He had this look of total horror on his face. When he realized it was me kneeling beside him, he told me to get out."

Remus nodded. "He was embarrassed. You saw him at his weakest."

Kate nodded. "When we spoke later in the kitchen, I told him that I couldn't handle being pushed away and denied my relationship with my Godson. Remus, he was so despondent; there was no fight or anger in him. He asked me if we were finished, "Kate told him, her eyes moist as she remembered.

"What did you tell him?" Remus held his breath. Losing Kate would not be something Sirius could handle easily – if at all.

"The truth. That I didn't know. I can't go on the way things are, but I can't walk away from him, either. I'm not ready to be without him again," Kate finished.

Remus exhaled as Kate said, "I've agreed to stay, for now."

Remus looked over at her. "Good, I'm glad. Today was better, yes?"

"Yes, today was better," Kate agreed, smiling slightly. "Remus, I just don't know what to do, so I've decided to just take it one day at a time."

Remus nodded. "It's all part of what he's been through, Kate. Everything is about not listing anything he's regained. All of it, his over-caution with Harry, the nightmares – it's all part of the same experience that began with James and Lily's deaths and continued through his escape from Azkaban. Factor in that he's living in this house and that he perceives himself as useless to both the Order and to Harry and you've got some difficult behaviors to deal with and work through. This is the realization of what we discussed when you first came back to the Order. It was never going to be easy, Kate. He's been through so much. It takes a great deal of love and commitment to be with Sirius right now."

Kate leaned up and kissed Remus' cheek. "You're a very special person, Remus Lupin," she told him. "And I'm grateful to have you as my friend."

Remus smiled softly, his cheeks coloring slightly. "Thank you, Kate. I am lucky, as well. True friends are seldom available to people such as myself. I appreciate my own friends very much and I am proud that both you and Sirius consider yourselves my friends, as well."

"Always, Remus," Kate said quietly. "Always."

"Mooney," Sirius called over to him. "This is not the evening for deep discussions. Bring Kate over here with you and help us finish our tree!"


	11. Shopping and Confrontations

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

The week prior to Christmas was a hectic one for the occupants of Grimmauld Place. Remus made several trips to Diagon Alley and Muggle London at Sirius' behest to help his friend purchase the gifts he wanted to give to those he loved. The Weasleys were in and out, visiting Arthur and taking shopping excursions of their own. The bustle and activity served to brighten the standard gloom of the old house - and that of its current owner. Kate had wrapped up pending items at the office the previous week and now looked forward to two weeks of vacation time. She was interested in spending time with Harry and getting to know the young man he had become.

On the first day of her vacation, Kate was up and out of the house before even Sirius had arisen. She wanted to complete her Christmas shopping and was planning to start with breakfast in a nice Muggle café she knew in Muggle London. Although it drove Remus to distraction, Kate didn't have any preplanned ideas for gifts. In all other areas of her life, Kate had always planned ahead; Christmas, however, was for spontaneity.

After breakfast, Kate went into London and immersed herself into the crowd of holiday shoppers. Purchasing almost all of the gifts she had to buy, Kate then made her way to a particular bookseller she knew Remus adored. She browsed the shelves for more than an hour, looking for just the right book for her old friend. Suddenly, she realized that for Remus, the actual selection of the book was half the fun and so she purchased a Muggle gift certificate in his name, smiling as she pictured Remus' reaction. She also picked up gift wrap and bows, preferring the festive Muggle designs for her Christmas gifts. She chuckled as she thought about Arthur's reaction to all things Muggle and knew he would find something fascinating about these items, as well.

As she exited the bookstore, Kate began a leisurely walk down the street, glancing in various shop windows as she went. The day was brisk, but the bright sunshine and her heavy cloak kept the chill at bay. Suddenly, Kate stopped in her tracks outside a men's clothing store. The window display that caught her eye was an array of leather items: gloves, briefcases and, in the center, a black leather jacket. The image of Sirius as he had been in the months after leaving Hogwarts came to mind. Tearing down the road on that crazy motorcycle of his, long hair trailing out behind him, in Muggle jeans and that black leather jacket he was so proud of. Kate made up her mind on the spot, went into the shop and purchased it. The last one of that style. The duplicate of the one worn and so lovingly cared for so long ago. The jacket that had been ruined in the careless and violent search of their flat. Kate slipped into an alley, shrunk her precious package down to the size of a stamp and placed it in her purse. She then Disapparated to Diagon Alley where she finished the rest of her shopping.

As she exited the last store, she heard someone call her name and, turning, she saw Harry and Remus in front of Fortesque's Ice Cream shop. She waved to indicate that she had heard them then made her way across the street.

"And what are you two doing out and about this chilly morning?" she asked, smiling as she reached them.

"Morning?!" Remus exclaimed, returning her grin. "It's after 2 o'clock!"

Kate was genuinely shocked but before she could comment her stomach gave a loud rumble. They all laughed then Harry said, "Me, too, Kate. We've been Christmas shopping and thought we'd stop for lunch. Come with us?"

Kate felt her throat catch and couldn't immediately respond. Remus noticed and stepped in. "Good idea, Harry! Let's head over to the Three Broomsticks and have some lunch."

The three made their way down the cobblestone street and soon were seated in a secluded booth with mugs of warm butter beer to chase away the chill.

"So," Remus began. "shopping all done?"

Kate nodded. "Mmm. I'd purchased my last gift just before I ran into you two." She glanced at Harry. "And you? Finished yet?"

Harry looked her in the eye and inclined his head slightly toward Remus. "A couple more to go and I'll be done." He smiled, conspiratorially, his green eyes twinkling.

"Yes, and I have an errand or two after lunch as well," Remus interjected, his smile letting Kate know that he was well aware of what was going on between the two of them.

"Well, Harry, I've an idea if you're game," Kate said. In for a penny; in for a pound. "What do you say we have lunch then let Remus take care of his errands while you and I go off by ourselves and you can finish up your shopping?"

Harry smiled warmly. "Brilliant! Thanks, Kate."

No, Harry, Kate thought. Thank you.

They ordered fish and chips all around and tucked into their food when the waitress brought it to them. They talked a bit about Hogwarts, but the situation under Dolores Umbridge was so difficult, that topic tended to put a damper on the mood. Instead, they spoke of Quidditch, plans for the holidays and various friends. Remus was still a bit tired after the full moon, which had been two days earlier, but was still in great spirits. As he told them, he remembered many a Christmas when the full moon fell either on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, itself and he was happy that hadn't happened this year when they were all together again. Kate noticed that Harry, in particular, seemed a bit protective toward Remus as he had earlier indicated that if his former professor was too tired to finish up today, they could come back in a day or two. Remus had given him an affectionate, but sad smile at that and had declined with thanks.

Once they had finished lunch, they went their respective ways with plans to meet back at the pub in an hour. Kate and Harry walked leisurely down Diagon Alley, pausing to look in the windows of several shops.

"So, I'm guessing that you still need something for Remus, yes?" Kate asked.

Harry smiled. "Yes, and thank Merlin you walked by us or I'm not sure I'd have been able to slip away long enough to find something."

Kate laughed. "Yes, Remus does take his responsibilities to heart, doesn't he? Well, we don't have to worry about you getting into trouble by disappearing. What are you thinking of buying him?"

Harry frowned. "No clue. He loves books, but he has so many of them. I thought about tea, but that seems sort of stupid. I guess I'm stuck. Only, wait – you've known him a long time, right? Do you have any ideas?"

Kate took a deep breath then exhaled slowly. Thankfully, Harry was preoccupied with a window that displayed various types of quills, parchments and inks. Soon, however, he turned back to her, clearly expecting some type of answer. Here goes, she thought.

"Yes, Remus and I were at Hogwarts together," Kate told him.

Harry's eyes grew huge as he digested this fact. Then came the question that Kate had both dreaded and looked forward to. "Then you knew my parents, too, didn't you?"

Kate nodded. "Yes, Harry, I knew them well. Your mum and I were close friends," she said.

Harry's mouth opened and closed a couple of times, but no sound came. Then, he regained control and took a deep breath. "Can you tell me about them? Did you hang out with them and stuff? Wait – and Sirius – you knew Sirius, too. God, Kate, he's just so sad whenever I mention them that I hate to ask him anything and there's so much I want to know…"

Kate put her hand on his shoulder and gave it a little squeeze. "Of course I'll tell you about them. Can we shop and talk to start out with? Then, maybe I'll treat you to butter beer or tea and we can focus on the talking part. Deal?"

Harry smiled warmly. "Deal."

They wandered into the stationer's and Harry settled on two very nice quills, a supply of high quality parchment and several bottles of both blue and black ink for Remus – all of which Kate assured Harry he would really like, most especially because they had come from him.

"Kate, I think I'd like to get Sirius something more personal. I think I know what I want, but …" Harry trailed off.

"…but you'd like another opinion?" she finished for him.

"Yeah. Yeah, I would. C'mon, I'll tell you on the way, ok?" Harry said, already moving ahead.

As their shopping progressed, Kate answered questions about James and Lily for the son who had spent so little time in their company. Yes, James was a brilliant Quidditch player and Lily was amazing at Charms. The Marauders were popular, spirited boys during their school years and the rest of the student body watched what they did because their hi-jinks were truly amazing. No, James was not an arrogant git 100 of the time; he also had a kind heart and incredible loyalty to those he loved…and he had loved Harry enormously.

Harry had to turn away at that last comment, taking a few moments before rejoining Kate, who touched his arm briefly when he did so.

They arrived back at the pub right on time and found Remus waiting for them. Kate smiled a bit nervously as they drew near and informed him that she'd promised Harry a warm butter beer, if he was still interested. Harry nodded and Remus agreed heartily.

As they entered the pub, Kate held Remus back a bit. "I mentioned that I'd known you at school and he asked if I'd known James and Lily," Kate said quietly. "He's asked me a lot of questions about the four of you this afternoon. I just wanted to prepare you because I think we're about to get the third degree all over again."

Remus smiled. "He was bound to find out, you know. You, Sirius and I are obviously friendly and there are at least three pictures in that library that were taken – at school – of the lot of us. Does he know about you?"

"No!" Kate said. "Please…although I'm upset he doesn't, it really isn't my news to share alone, is it?"

Remus thought for a moment. "No. No, it really should come from both of you. Look, Harry's found a booth for us. We'd better get over there."

For the next hour, Remus and Kate regaled Harry with innocuous stories of their school days, carefully chosen to reveal only casual information about how closely they all were connected. The sky had clouded over and snow threatened when they finally gathered their packages and Disapparated back to Grimmauld Place.

XXXXXXXX

Sirius was waiting for them when they walked through the front door and it was apparent that he had been worrying about Harry's safety.

He forced a smile on his taut face and patted his Godson's shoulder. "Harry! You're here. I expected you to return over an hour ago."

"Sirius, Kate and I were with him the entire time. There was no cause for alarm," Remus attempted to sooth the agitated man.

Kate nodded. "We were a little caught up in shopping. Since Remus had an errand or two to take care of, we split up and Harry and I finished his shopping. We met Remus back at the Three Broomsticks and treated ourselves to some butter beer before heading back here."

Sirius' gaze narrowed as Kate was talking and she could almost hear the wheels turning in his brain.

"I'm going to go upstairs and wrap my presents. See you at dinner," Harry said.

"See you at dinner, Harry," Sirius called after him, never taking his eyes from Kate's face.

"Let's go into the library, shall we?" Remus suggested, his hand on the small of Kate's back. Sirius hesitated and Remus added, "Come along, Padfoot. We don't need to have this conversation out here in the hallway."

Sirius broke his gaze and walked into the library ahead of Remus and Kate, who closed the door behind them.

"Sirius," Kate began, but wasn't allowed to go any further as Sirius interrupted her.

"Did you tell him, Kate?" Sirius snarled as he asked the question of her. "Does he know?"

Although she knew this was probably where Sirius was heading, it still hurt to hear it; to see the expression on his face and know it was directed at her – that he didn't trust her enough to know that she wouldn't betray him that way.

"Sirius!" Remus raised his voice, startling the other two into silence. "Stop it!"

Kate shot Remus a grateful look, then turned to Sirius, "How dare you?" she asked him, her voice quivering. "I told you that I would respect your wishes, even though I don't agree with them. I would never betray you by breaking my word behind your back. Harry knows that I knew all of you at Hogwarts, however. While we were shopping and afterward, with Remus, we shared a few stories of our time together. He now knows that James hated peas, while you love them. He knows that his mother once charmed a fountain to flow with French champagne after a school dance. He does not know that I am anything other than a school friend of his parents, Remus and you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go upstairs and get ready for dinner."

Kate turned on her heel and left the room.

Sirius watched her go then turned toward the bottle of Firewhiskey on the side table.

"Leave it, Padfoot," Remus said quietly. "It's not going to solve anything with Kate. All it will do is knock you out and make you miserable to deal with tomorrow. Is that really what you want to have happen?"

Sirius turned back to his friend. "No," he said, his voice still strained. "I overreacted – again. The minute the words leave my mouth, I want to take them back. I don't seem to be able to stop myself."

Remus sighed. "If I were you, Padfoot, I'd try harder. If you can't get this under control and start trusting that woman, you will lose her."

"I know," Sirius replied.

"So, what do you propose to do about it?" Remus demanded.

"I'll go speak with her," he responded.

Remus put his hand on Sirius' arm as he passed. "Think before you speak, Padfoot. Think about what you're saying this time."

Sirius nodded and resumed his walk to the door.


	12. Apologies and Understanding

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Sirius climbed the stairs slowly, thinking about what he would say to Kate – if she agreed to speak to him. What kept coming back to him, however, was the look on her face in the library. 'I wouldn't betray you..' she had said and, in his heart, he knew that was true. He kept hurting her at every turn and he didn't know why it happened or how to stop. Sirius did know that Remus was right. If he didn't find a way to change his behavior, he would lose Kate. After all, she had only agreed to remain in the house for the immediate future. Christmas was only a few days away and in slightly more than a week after that, Harry would return to Hogwarts. When Harry left for school, Sirius was fully aware that Kate could also choose to leave Grimmauld Place – and him – and take up residence elsewhere. That was something Sirius knew he couldn't allow to happen.

Sirius reached Kate's door, took a deep breath and knocked softly. He heard a muffled sound on the other side of the door, but it remained closed. He knocked again after a moment.

"Yes?" Kate called through the door.

"Kate, it's me. May I come in?" Sirius asked.

After a moment, the door swung slowly inward. Sirius walked into the room and found Kate standing at the window on the opposite wall. "Kate?" he called to her quietly. She turned and Sirius was saddened to see traces of tears on her face.

"I don't want to argue with you, Sirius," Kate said from her place by the window.

"Neither do I," was the response. "I just want to talk with you."

Kate looked at Sirius for a long moment then nodded, sitting on the window seat as Sirius walked over and sat down beside her, folding his hands in his lap to try to still his fidgeting.

"First of all, I'm sorry for the things I said to you earlier. I was wrong. In my heart, I know that you would never tell Harry behind my back. I don't know why I said what I did; the moment it left my mouth, I wanted to take it back, but I couldn't. I can only apologize and ask you to forgive me," Sirius spoke quietly.

"Sirius, may I ask you something?" Kate asked him. At his nod, she continued, "Have you thought about why it's so important to you that Harry not know that I'm his Godmother?"

Sirius sighed. "I don't want to upset him by making him think that information was withheld from him. So many people have done that to the boy. I don't want him to go through it again."

Kate nodded. "I believe you, but I think there's more to it. I think that you don't want Harry to know about me because he might feel that you let him down – betrayed him – by not telling him about me earlier. And that's too closely connected to the betrayal you think you were responsible for that resulted in James's and Lily's deaths."

Sirius looked up at her, shaking his head. "What are you saying? That I would deliberately make you unhappy – not tell Harry the truth – just to preserve his opinion of me?"

Kate reached over and covered his hand with her own. "Perhaps not consciously, but yes – I believe that somewhere deep inside, you've made that decision."

Sirius looked out the window at the street below for several minutes, lost in thought. "I don't know, maybe you're right. If I want to be completely honest, I think I've probably been thinking some version of that same thing for awhile now. It hurts so much to know that I'll never be able to tell James and Lily that I didn't intentionally betray them. Maybe if I take care of Harry well enough I can start to make up for what I did to them."

"Sirius, you don't have anything to 'make up for'. You made the best decision you could with the information you had at the time. You were trying to find the absolute best solution to give the Potters the protection they needed. None of us saw Peter for what he was… none of us, including James and Lily. They could have said no to him as the Secret Keeper, Sirius, but they didn't. Don't look at me like that; I'm not blaming them for their own deaths – far from it. I'm just making a point: Peter did his job very well. We were all fooled. You betrayed no one." Kate said softly. "And I would never betray you. I meant it when I said that I don't agree with your decision, but I would never go behind your back and tell Harry on my own."

Sirius turned his palm upward and captured her hand in his. Looking deeply into her eyes, he said, "It's hard, this, isn't it?"

Kate nodded and brought her fingers around to clasp his hand more tightly. "It is. We know each other but we don't. It's like we're trying to pick up where we left off and we're not the same people anymore. It's harder than I thought it would be."

"Katie, I'm going to try very hard not to be that way anymore," Sirius said, earnestly. "I know I'm not going to be successful 100 of the time, but I'm going to do it better than I have been. You've been so patient; I don't want to be the cause of your tears anymore. Can you forgive me?"

"I believe you. And, yes, I forgive you," Kate said, simply. "Sirius, I meant it when I said that I can't even begin to imagine what life has been like for you over the past 12 years." She took a deep breath and continued. "But, I want you to know that you can tell me anything, talk to me about anything and I'll be here to listen. I won't judge you and I'll never think anything less of you – whatever it is."

Sirius looked out into the street again, but didn't let go of Kate's hand. "I think it's safe to say that you've seen some of the worst."

Kate reached over and brushed the backs of her fingers over his cheek. "What I've seen is a man who has suffered so much for so many years. I've seen a man who struggles against darkness during his waking hours, but who suffers for that struggle at night. What I saw the other night didn't cause me to think I'd seen the worst of you. Sirius, what I saw was the result of the worst that had been done to you." She reached down and gently grasped his chin and turned his face toward her. "Look at me," she whispered. "I don't think you're weak. I think you're incredibly strong."

Sirius' eyes filled and he reached out to her. "Katie," he whispered brokenly.

Kate embraced him tightly as his head dropped to her shoulder and a ragged breath escaped his mouth. She just held him, feeling the heat of his breath against her neck and the movement of his hand as it clutched her robes. After awhile, he moved and sat up. Kate reached over and smoothed her hand over is face, clearing it.

"I don't want us to be at odds with each other any more," Sirius said softly, reaching for her hand again. "Can we start again?"

Kate looked at the dark haired man before her. Despite everything that had happened, she knew that her life would not be complete without him. "Let's," she responded. "Maybe we'll do better this time 'round."

Sirius gave her a small smile. "We could hardly do worse," he said. He leaned forward and placed a small kiss on her cheek. "Shall we go downstairs for dinner before Molly sends a search party?"

Kate laughed softly. "Yes. I'm sure they're wondering what's become of us."

"Kate, wait a moment," Sirius spoke softly. "I know how badly you want Harry to know who you really are. No, please, just let me say this," he added as Kate attempted to interrupt him. "Would you be willing to wait until after Christmas? If we can just get through the next few days, I can face whatever reaction he has."

Kate leaned in and kissed his lips gently. "Thank you, Sirius. I can wait until then."

Sirius exhaled slowly, nodded and reached for the door. "Shall we?"

Kate smiled at him. As she passed, he leaned over and kissed her softly. When she looked back at him, he grinned. "I reckoned it was my turn," he said.

Her laughter rang down the hallway.

They were still smiling when they entered the kitchen, taking the last two seats at the table. Neither of them missed the relief on Remus' face…or the thoughtful look on Harry's.


	13. A Christmas Celebration

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

In the days leading up to Christmas, Sirius was true to his word. He was less anxious, his mood swings were less frequent and, as Christmas Eve approached, his mood reminded both Remus and Kate of holidays spent together at Hogwarts. Kate being on holiday, as well, contributed enormously to Sirius' well being and he and Kate grew steadily closer, as a result. None of this progress was lost on Remus and he reveled in the chance to revisit the good times they had had together in the past.

On Christmas Eve morning, Molly burst into the kitchen and announced tearfully that Arthur was to be released on Christmas afternoon. Sirius immediately suggested that dinner be postponed until early evening, to give Arthur a chance to come back to headquarters, rest a bit from the travel and enjoy at least a part of Christmas with his family and friends. Molly pulled out her handkerchief and blew her nose loudly and then looked toward Sirius. Fred and George could hardly contain themselves at the look on Sirius' face.

Before Molly could say anything, Sirius began to back away, saying, "Glad to do it, Molly. Least I can do. Spirit of the season and all that. I think I'll go wrap something. I'll see you all later."

The moment he left the room and Molly, still sniffling, had gone into the pantry to check on supplies for dinner, Remus, Kate, Harry and the Weasley children burst into the laughter they could no longer contain.

"Did you see the look on his face?" Fred gasped. "Looked like he was asked to snog McGonagall…" he fell into his twin, who was having an equally difficult time controlling himself.

"McGonagall?," snorted George. "He looked like he was asked to snog Dumbledore!"

Kate looked over at Remus who, like her, had begun to shake off their mirth – at least to the point that they could breathe normally. "I'm going to check on him," she mouthed, pointing at the ceiling.

Remus looked at her knowingly. "Going to torture him, more like," he said quietly.

With a wink and a smile, Kate left the room.

As she approached Sirius door, she saw that it was half way open. Clearing her throat loudly, she was rewarded with the sound of rustling paper and what sounded like a trunk lid being slammed shut. "Ow! Shite!" came from within the room. Kate couldn't stand it any longer.

"Such language, Mr. Black! And on Christmas Eve! You'd better hope that Father Christmas has already made all his "naughty" and "nice" decisions," Kate leaned against the doorway and laughed.

"Ah doan fink yr fee awl," Sirius spoke around his thumb, which was wedged firmly in his mouth, an expression of pain on his face.

"Say again?" Kate folded her arms across her chest and gazed at him quizzically. "Is that some sort of Animagus dialect with which I am unfamiliar? Caninese, perhaps?"

Sirius removed his thumb with a small pop. "I said 'I don't think you're funny at all'. And your last comments have done nothing to change my mind!" He walked toward her shaking the offending digit. "Bugger! That hurt!"

"What did you do?" Kate asked, looking a little more closely at his thumb which was slightly red at the knuckle.

"Slammed it in my trunk," Sirius grumbled.

"You really should look before you slam," she smiled. Sirius stuck his hand in the pocket of his robes.

"Never mind," he said. "And just what were you doing skulking around outside my door, Katie girl? Trying to see your present, were you?"

Kate went over and sat down on the edge of his bed – the area closest to the now-closed trunk. "Absolutely not!" she told him. "I came up here because Molly was looking for you. Something about a "Christmas kiss", or some such nonsense. She was carrying quite the sprig of mistletoe with her…veritable branch it was!"

Sirius chuckled in spite of himself, although he had gone a bit pale when Kate first started to speak.

"Minx," he said affectionately.

"Git," she returned, warmly. "So, if I had been poking around in your hiding places, would there have been a present to inspect?"

"Perhaps," Sirius sat down next to her, enjoying their banter. Gods, this felt good! "Is there a little something hiding somewhere for me, then?"

"You'll just have to wait and see," Kate replied, leaning casually over toward the end of the bed and placing a hand on the top of the trunk. "Meanwhile, I suppose I could just look around on my own…"

Sirius moved more quickly than Kate had anticipated and leapt across the space between them, reaching for her hand as he went. Unfortunately, he misjudged the distance and wound up squarely on top of her, knocking the wind out of her as he fell, his hand landing on the bedspread beside her, having missed the trunk by a large margin. For a moment, neither of them moved: Kate because she couldn't catch her breath and Sirius because their close proximity had rendered him immobile.

Kate could only look up at him as she began to recover her breath. As she stared, Kate once again became mesmerized by Sirius' eyes. He showed every emotion in their blue depths; he always had. As she gazed at them now, Kate was stunned by the mosaic of emotion she saw: confusion, anxiety, surprise … love.

"Katie," he whispered, his lips sending soft puffs of warm air over hers. "Katie," he said again, lowering his head and covering her mouth with his. Her breathing was only slightly better, but somehow Kate didn't care very much as she brought her hands up to catch in his hair, holding him in place. She felt Sirius' tongue tentatively brush her lower lip and she opened her mouth to admit it. Immediately, Sirius slid his tongue against hers, stroking, probing, tasting. Kate moaned deep in her throat as she felt the familiar warmth begin to spread through her abdomen – and lower. Oh, Merlin, how I've missed this. How I've missed him, she corrected herself. She arched her hips up into Sirius and immediately felt the evidence of his own feelings. Rewarded by his deep groan, Kate did it again.

Sirius broke their kiss and inhaled shakily. He lifted one hand to brush a strand of hair away from her face. "Look at me," he whispered. Kate's eyes flew open at the sound. "You're so beautiful," he said softly, then his expression changed and his eyes widened. Looking over at the trunk, then back down at her, he said, "We've done this before."

Kate thought then nodded. "Mmhmm," she agreed. "Sixth year. I was packing to go home for the holidays. You wanted me to stay, but knew I couldn't. You said you'd settle for your present…"

Sirius' brow was furrowed from his effort to remember and then it cleared and filled with enormous joy. "I told you I'd search everywhere until I found it. I told you that I'd have no problem making you miss your train. Gods, Kate, I would have given anything to have had you stay with me."

Kate reached up and stroked his face gently. "What else do you remember?"

He closed his eyes and suddenly could picture everything. The Gryffindor common room, decorated in all manner of Christmas trimming. Kate's trunk next to the overstuffed couch. One hand was resting on the arm of the couch, not quite reaching the trunk. He had threatened to ruin her careful packing job, but landing on top of Kate had completely shifted his focus. "Role reversal," he finally told her. "Same position, but I was going to be the one searching your trunk. I didn't, though, did I?"

Kate smiled softly. "No, you didn't, luv," she confirmed. "This particular predicament has always caused you to lose your focus. I used to count on it."

Sirius leaned down and kissed her again once, then twice more. "And now? Do you count on it now?"

Kate smiled again. "I will from now on," she said.

Sirius laughed, and then leaned down to kiss her again. As Kate began to deepen the kiss again, there was a sound from the hallway. Kate pulled back and put a finger to his lips to still Sirius' speech. The footsteps paused outside his door then moved on down the hallway.

Kate sighed, then picked her head up, moved her finger from Sirius' lips and kissed him gently.

"You've gotten one good memory back," Kate smiled at him.

"And it was of us," Sirius returned her smile. "I don't think I could ask for a better Christmas present than that."

"Oh, good," Kate said, sitting up. "I'll just take yours back then. Good thing I haven't wrapped it yet."

"Not a chance," Sirius growled. "I want my present."

Kate giggled. "I promise. You shall have your present, Padfoot. Tomorrow!"

"Completely unfair, Miss Morgan," Sirius pulled a face. "Good will toward men and all that rot. Don't you think you should exercise a bit more good will?" His expression could best be described as "leering".

Kate leaned up and kissed him again. "Christmas hasn't even come yet. I think we'll have more chances to promote 'good will'." And with that, Kate put her hand on his chest and gently pushed upward.

"Oh, alright. I'll just have to hope, I suppose," Sirius sat up, then stood and offered Kate his hand. As she took his hand, Sirius pulled her gently up and against him. "Be warned, luv. I've had one breakthrough here and I've won back a memory of you and me. I want more of them. I want more."

Kate kissed his lips softly. "I told you that I would help you and I will," she promised him. "C'mon, Sirius. Let's go downstairs and have Christmas Eve with this ragtag little family we've got here."

Sirius hugged her tightly for a moment then let her go. As they walked through the door, Kate turned and said to him, "Hmm, wonder if Molly hung that mistletoe yet." At the sound of the low growl behind her, Kate made a mad dash for the stairs, Sirius hard on her heels, both of them breathless and laughing.

XXXXXXXX

That evening, after dinner, everyone gathered in the library. Sirius had built a roaring fire that crackled and filled the normally drafty room with cozy warmth. The garland boughs and sprigs of bayberry brought a wonderful, seasonal scent throughout the room. Molly had baked gingerbread and Sirius and Remus had mulled some wine and everyone was relaxing and enjoying the rare moment of normalcy. As the evening wore on, the raucous game of Exploding Snap between Sirius and Harry came to a screeching (smoking?) halt and Ron and Remus put away the Wizard's Chessboard – but only after Ron had proved quite a match for Remus' chess-playing skills. Molly put away her knitting, looked at the clock and shooed Hermione and Ginny upstairs. Even the twins seemed to know that it was time to call it a day. Soon, Sirius and Kate were left alone in front of the fire.

Sirius rose from the wingback chair and waved his wand at the fire to refresh its warmth. As he turned toward the sofa, his gaze fell on Kate. She sat with her feet curled beneath her, clad in beautiful, burgundy velvet robes. Her hair caught the firelight and her brown eyes were suffused with warmth and she smiled as she returned his frank gaze.

Kate shivered as Sirius sat next to her. He took her in his arms. "Cold?" he asked, his hands stroking her back.

Kate wove her hands through is hair. "Sirius," she said slyly. "'cold' is the last thing I'm feeling right now."

Sirius chuckled softly then moved so he could look into her eyes. "You are so beautiful," he said, his face reflecting his emotions. "I wonder what you must think when you see me now and remember how I used to look."

Kate kissed him gently. "Oh, Sirius," she breathed. "When I see you now, I see a beautiful man with more courage, more character than most people. I see your gorgeous eyes and your warm smile. You are still the most beautiful man I've ever known."

Sirius eyes filled as he listened to her words and his gaze remained fixed on hers. He dropped his head and captured her mouth with his. This kiss was passionate, exciting and filled with all the emotion he thought he'd never feel again. Sirius groaned when he felt her mouth open beneath his and her tongue come out to circle his lips. He deepened the kiss, pushing her tongue gently back into her mouth and using his own to stroke the inside of her cheeks, her sensitive palate before withdrawing and nibbling on her lower lip.

Sirius kissed his way along Kate's jaw and found her pulse point which was fluttering wildly against his lips. He licked, nipped and kissed the spot until Kate was quivering with feeling and arching her neck and back to give him easier access to her.

Sirius raised his head and looked into her eyes. "Katie, if we don't stop now, I won't be able to."

Kate reached up and stroked his face. "Do you want to stop?" she whispered.

"No," Sirius said, leaning back down to kiss her deeply.

"Then don't," Kate whispered, sliding around so that she was lying fully on the sofa and pulling him down on top of her. "Sirius," she breathed into his ear. "I've missed you so much. It's been so long. Please, make love to me."

Sirius gasped then moved so he was reclining against the back of the sofa. He reached into his pocket for his wand and, with a murmur, their clothing was gone and they both moaned at the realization that they were touching each other after years of being apart. His gaze swept down her body, followed by his fingers. He swept delicately over the creamy skin of her breasts, grazing the dusty pink nipples that pebbled under his touch. Kate shifted against him a bit and exhaled sharply. "Sirius, please," she murmured. "I need you. Gods, I need you so much!"

Sirius bent his head and kissed her once more. He took each breast in his mouth, running the tip of his tongue over the stiff peaks one at a time. Kate moaned at the sensation. Knowing what she wanted, Sirius brought his hand down between her thighs and slid his fingers through the moisture he found there. "Sirius!" Kate gasped. "Please, please touch me. Please." Sirius slipped his middle finger into her and found her clitoris with his thumb. He began moving in and out of her heat while putting pressure on her sensitive bud. He was so hard and he ached for her, but he wanted to hold off until he brought her to her own pleasure. Kate writhed beneath his attentions, her breath coming in small puffs and her eyes locked on his. "Yes, luv," he whispered to her. "Let go for me. Let me give this to you, Katie. Let it go; come for me."

Kate's eyes widened as her head lifted and her hands clutched his arms. She felt her orgasm wash over her and she called out Sirius' name as her body shook and pulsed.

As she began to come down, Sirius slid inside her and they both cried out at the feeling.

Sirius knew he would not – could not last. He felt the last of Kate's orgasm contract around his aching member as he thrust in and out of her quickly. His eyes were closed tightly and he was panting harshly. Kate opened her eyes and called his name. When he didn't respond, Kate brought her hands up to frame his face. "Sirius, look at me," she said softly. Finally, his eyes opened. "I love you," she said. That was all it took. Sirius thrust inside her one more time then stilled. He called her name and shuddered. Kate felt his warmth fill her, then Sirius full weight dropped down on top of her.

As they caught their breath, Kate stroked Sirius dark head, moving his hair from his brow and kissing the damp skin she revealed there. After a time, Kate felt Sirius place a small kiss on her neck and he rose, bracing himself on his elbows to look into her face. "I love you," he whispered. He leaned down and kissed her tenderly. "I never believed we would have this again; that you could ever want me again."

"Again?" Kate replied. "Sirius, I've always wanted you, I've always loved you. Even when I thought you had betrayed us, I loved you. The entire time I was in America, I loved you. When I moved in here, I still loved you – even when you made me so angry I couldn't see straight. Loving you isn't something I know how to stop doing," she said.

"Thank you," Sirius whispered.

They lay together for awhile longer before Sirius rose and "accio'd" their clothing from the corner of the library where they had landed. They put on their robes, Sirius brought down the fire and, together, they headed upstairs.


	14. Christmas Gifts Take Many Forms

Kate knew it wasn't truly morning. She stretched languidly then slowly opened her eyes. The room was dimly lit by the flickering candle flame safely enclosed by an ancient, thick glass globe by the side of the bed. She turned her head on the pillow and was met by Sirius' still-sleeping face. This night, in sleep, his features were more relaxed than Kate could remember them being. He lay close to her, his fingers resting lightly on the pale skin of her shoulder. The covers had slipped down to the middle of his back and Kate drew a sharp breath when she saw the scars littered on the exposed skin. She carefully reached for the hand on her shoulder and lifted it gently. Turning onto her side to face him, Kate placed his hand on her pillow, kissing the back of his hand softly as she did so. He sighed, but did not awaken.

Kate's thoughts slipped back to their school days and a clandestine night spent together in the Room of Requirement. It had been her first time, but far from that for Sirius. Kate smiled as she remembered how nervous he had been. If she hadn't known of his reputation, she would have sworn that Sirius was no more experienced than she. Later, though, after they had made love to each other for the first time, Kate learned that Sirius had, in a way, been a virgin that night. Although he had many "conquests" up to that time, all had lacked any emotional significance for him. His childhood had been so difficult; Kate knew that at least some of the scars she could see on his back were the result of physical abuse by his mother. There was no affection shown this rebel first-born son. This boy who craved affection knew only touch that caused pain – and from the one person he should have always been able to rely upon for love. Kate felt a tear slide down her cheek as she remembered that first night spent with the boy who now lay next to her as a grown man. As he climaxed, Sirius had stared deeply into her eyes as tears had streamed down his face. When he finished, Sirius rolled off her and pulled her over until she lay on top of him. He had buried his face in her shoulder and cried until he fell asleep. Later, when they had awakened, they made love again – tenderly, passionately and Sirius had shared some of the horrors of his childhood in the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Afterward, they had slept in each other's arms until the sun's rays first appeared over the Black Lake. Aided by James' Invisibility Cloak, they had made it back to their respective dorms without detection. If Kate and Sirius were close before, they were inseparable after that night – until the unthinkable happened and they were separated for more than a decade.

Kate was brought back to the present by movement next to her. Sirius stretched and rolled over until his back was facing her. Kate pulled up the comforter until his shoulder was covered. She knew that ever since his escape, Sirius could never get warm. She also knew he hadn't been sleeping well at all and so, as much as she wanted to, Kate didn't want to chance waking him by spooning up to his back for warmth.

Kate eased herself out of Sirius' bed and went into the bathroom. After brushing her teeth, she threw on her robe and stepped into the hallway, silently closing the door behind her. Kate made her way down to her own room and gathered Sirius' Christmas presents, brightly wrapped and decked with sparkling ribbons. Smiling to herself, Kate walked back to Sirius room. Upon her arrival, Kate walked quietly toward the bed and set his gifts down in a small pile on the top of the trunk at the bottom of the bed. Shedding her robes, she got back into bed carefully, easing the covers over her body in an attempt to minimize the movement in hopes Sirius wouldn't be disturbed. Her hopes were dashed when he turned over to face her, his face showing some traces of anxiety.

"Happy Christmas, luv," Kate greeted him, reaching out to stroke his cheek.

Sirius caught her hand and kissed it softly. "I woke up and you weren't here," he said, his voice gravelly with sleep. He held her hand tightly against his chest. "I thought maybe you decided this might have been a mistake, after all."

Kate leaned forward and kissed him deeply. "Never," she whispered. "Sirius, I know that perhaps we moved a bit fast, but we were together once before, after all."

"It seems like a lifetime ago," Sirius said, sadly. "I'll never be that boy again, Kate."

"Sirius, there are aspects of you that still are that boy," Kate reached over and smoothed his unruly, sleep tousled hair. "When we decorated the tree, when you came up with your "to do" list, the past few days teasing the kids. You were like that at school, you know. From the first of December, you were insufferable. I think you would have been happy if Christmas lasted the entire month of December!"

Sirius smiled a bit. "It helps when you tell me things like that, Katie," he said, squeezing her hand.

She smiled and leaned forward to kiss him. They lay entwined, holding each other and kissing for a bit longer before Sirius drew back and looked at her with mischief in his eyes.

"What?" Kate asked, mildly irritated that he had stopped kissing her.

"It's Christmas," Sirius replied, smiling.

Kate raised her eyebrows. "Yes," she agreed. "And…"

Sirius' eyes widened. "And there are presents to be opened."

Kate snickered. "Sirius, it's the middle of the night," she said, only half in protest.

"But it's past midnight, correct?" he asked, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Without bothering with a robe, he walked over to his desk and drew a wrapped package from the deep side drawer. Kate watched his movements appreciatively. "Nice view," she commented, resting her head on her hand.

In response, Sirius wiggled his behind back and forth and Kate giggled. He turned around and made his way back to bed and Kate's laughter stopped. In the heat of the moment last night, Kate really hadn't taken the opportunity to look at him. The ravages of Azkaban showed clearly in the prominent ribs, the sharp hip bones, the thin arms and legs. Remus had told her that Sirius' physical condition had improved since his escape; Kate could not imagine what he must have been like before. Fortunately, Sirius had spied the pile of presents on his trunk and did not see her eyes run over his body. When he turned his gaze back to her, Kate had managed to arrange a smile on her face and hoped it was believable.

His eyebrows arched. "For me?" he asked, grinning.

"Oh, I don't know," Kate replied. "Have you been a good boy this year?"

"I was good last night," Sirius leered at her.

"Cheeky bugger," Kate retorted.

"But truthful," he added.

"Yes," Kate conceded. "I'll give you that. You are telling the truth there." Kate held her hand out to him. "Come here, please."

Sirius smiled warmly and took her hand. "Yes, my love?" he asked.

"Get in here," she said, laughing.

Sirius got in under the covers and positioned his pillow so he could lean comfortably against the headboard. Kate rose and picked up his gifts then got into bed next to him.

Sirius leaned over and kissed her tenderly. "That view was pretty delightful," he said.

Kate kissed his cheek and handed him his gifts. "These are for you, love," she said. "Now, you can wait until it's really Christmas morning and open them according to time-honored tradition or you can show absolutely no restraint whatsoever and open them now."

Sirius raised one eyebrow in her direction. "Katie, who are you talking to here? I'm a rebel, remember? I have an idea. Let's start a new tradition. We open Christmas presents in the wee small hours of Christmas morning."

Kate couldn't help but smile at him. "Sort of an 'open now and avoid the rush' philosophy, eh?" she asked, kissing his shoulder.

Sirius shook his head. "No, actually. It's more of an 'open early and spend the hours 'til dawn thanking you properly'."

Kate shivered at the image his words provoked. "Well, then, Mr. Black. May I suggest that you begin?" She removed the packages from his lap, settling them next to her. At his protest, Kate leaned over and placed a finger against his lips to silence him. "Don't worry – I'll let you open your packages; but I want to give them to you one at a time. I put a lot of thought into your Christmas and so, if you don't mind, I'll run the show. Deal?"

Sirius kissed her finger. "Deal."

Kate handed Sirius the first gift, a rather bulky package that he squeezed and ran his hand over several times before carefully slipping his finger under the flap of colored paper to lift the tape that secured it.

Kate laughed. "For someone who wanted his gifts, you're certainly taking your sweet time about opening the package," she said. "Time was, you'd simply rip through my lovely wrapping without even noticing that I'd charmed little golden snitches to zoom around on the paper!"

Sirius smiled thoughtfully. "Did I? I don't remember. It's been so long since I had a gift, I just wanted to …" he trailed off, his hands fidgeting again on the top of the package.

Kate immediately regretted saying anything to him. She reached over and stilled his hands by covering them with her own. "Oh, Sirius," she whispered. "I'm sorry, love. I wasn't thinking…"

Sirius leaned over and silenced her with a kiss. 'Stop, Kate," he said. "Remember: 'we can't walk on eggshells around each other', right? You said that to me and you were right. You didn't hurt my feelings; I truly don't remember what I used to do. I reckon that I will, though – you've already helped me remember a few. Until then, I'm going to make memories. I told you that I wanted to do that, and so I am. Ok?"

She nodded then said, "Ok, I'll avoid the eggshells. You open your present."

With an impish grin, Sirius ripped the seam open and Kate smiled. He shook off the tissue paper and smiled widely when he saw the heavy woolen Irish knit jumper Kate had given him. It was heavy and warm, but extremely soft and was in a rich, creamy off-white color that showed off the intricate stitching. Sirius pulled it over his head, shoving his bare arms through the sleeves. His eyes closed briefly as the wool warmed every inch of the skin it touched.

"You didn't make…" Kate's laughter drowned out the rest of his sentence.

"Dear Merlin, no," she chuckled. "I'm afraid poor Molly has quite given up on me. No, I bought that in London, I'm afraid. I know how cold and drafty this house is and I thought you would enjoy the warmth."

Sirius slipped it off, folding it carefully and laying it on top of the now torn tissue paper. "It's beautiful and I love it. Thank you," he said sincerely, pulling Kate to him for a lingering kiss.

Reluctantly pulling away from him, Kate reached next to her for his second gift. This package was much smaller, but Sirius didn't spend a great deal of time trying to figure out its contents. He took his time with the paper, however, and Kate had to smile to herself.

When he had at last torn away the paper, Sirius held a small, leather bound book. He looked at Kate curiously then opened the cover. There, facing him was a photo of the two of them, sitting on the grass near the Black Lake at Hogwarts. It was a profile shot and Kate had her head leaning against his shoulder as Sirius leaned back on his arms. They were both gazing out at something that had obviously pleased them as they both had identical, peaceful smiles on their faces. The sun had been setting and its late afternoon rays danced through Kate's hair, making the auburn strands even more vibrant.

Sirius caught his breath, then looked at the inscription Kate had written on the inside cover of the album. "Sirius, if I could give you the perfect gift this Christmas, it would be to restore all of your memories. While I can't do that, I thought I would at least give you a few reminders that will, perhaps, coax the memories out of hiding. I've filled this album with pictures I've held for over a decade – pictures of some of the best times of your life. Each one lives in my heart; take them so they can unlock the memories that live in yours. Love, Kate."

Sirius inhaled deeply, but he remained silent. He stared at the first photo for a few moments longer then turned the page slowly. A lone tear slid down his cheek as he looked at a photo taken of him and James. They were filthy, covered in mud, wearing their Quidditch robes, walking up the hill from the pitch with their brooms slung over their shoulders and their arms linked. They couldn't have been much older than twelve.

Sirius ran a finger softly over the image of his friend. "James," he whispered. "Oh, my friend, what a sight you are to see."

Kate put her arm around his waist and slid closer to him, resting her chin on his shoulder. She kissed the bare skin.

Sirius turned his head and kissed her cheek. "I'm alright, Kate," he said softly. "It's just that my only memory of James is finding him at Godrics Hollow that night. Now, I have this one. Thank you."

Kate kissed him gently. "Would you like to look at the rest?"

Sirius shook his head. "No, not now. I think I need to take some time to work through them. Will you look with me later? Tell me about them?"

Kate nodded. "Of course. And perhaps Remus could join us for some?"

Sirius smiled. "Yes. Contrary to what he'd have you believe, Remus has a few tales to tell about his own days at school."

Kate smiled back at him. "I'll bet he does." She was silent for a moment then spoke quietly. "Sirius, I have one more present for you, but I'd like to wait a bit before you open it. Would that be ok?"

Sirius looked at her curiously, but nodded. "Of course, love. We can wait until later. Actually, I want to give you something, as well." He handed her a small package, wrapped in dark blue paper with a gleaming golden ribbon tied on the top.

Kate accepted the package and began to tug at one end of the ribbon before Sirius put his hand on her arm. She stilled her fingers and looked up at him. "Katie, I had this made. Remus picked it up for me last week. I hope it's…I want you to understand that I…" he trailed off.

"Sirius," Kate said softly. "I will love whatever is in this package – because you chose it for me."

Sirius removed his hand and gestured for her to continue, watching her intently. As she removed the paper and opened the lid, Kate gasped. Nestled in the dark velvet was a gleaming golden band. It was engraved with a mixture of scrollwork and flowers. It was exquisite and Kate looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "This is a …" she stopped speaking.

"Promise ring," Sirius finished. "Yes, I know. But it's not the traditional promise ring, Kate. Someday, perhaps, we will be in a place where that could happen, but things are so uncertain now – in so many ways." He reached over and removed the ring from the box. "Kate, I know that I haven't made things easy for you, although I know they've been better recently; I've been better recently – and I'm not going to give up. I promised you that there would be no secrets, that I would be honest with you always. I promised to focus on working through all the problems and I'm going to keep that promise." Sirius lifted her right hand and slipped the band on her ring finger. "I'm giving this to you to seal that promise. Every time you look down, you'll be reminded of everything I've promised you. Will you wear it, Kate? Until we're at a point when I can put a ring on the proper finger?"

Kate wiped at her cheeks for a moment then looked up at Sirius, waiting expectantly for her to say something, "Oh, Sirius," she whispered. "This means so much to me. Yes, I am proud to wear this, happy to wear it," Kate said. "I do love you, you know."

Sirius nodded and reached for her, gathering Kate in his arms. "I love you," he responded. "Just keep telling me that, ok?"

"I love you," Kate whispered in his ear, moving over to straddle his lap. She pushed his shoulders gently until he was lying with his head on his pillow. "I love you," she said again, kissing his cheek, the corner of his mouth and, gently, his lips. "I love you," as she kissed his neck, then his throat, coming up again to look in his eyes. "I love you."

Sirius closed his eyes as Kate moved her hips against his, while placing gentle kisses on his lips, his chin, his eyes and the tip of his nose. "I love you," she said, one final time before moving down his body until her face met his erection. "Let me show you how much and Sirius forgot everything but the intoxicating feeling of Kate's mouth and the knowledge that Kate – and the renewal of their relationship – were gifts he never expected to be given.


	15. Homecomings, Christmas Dinner & Memories

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Kate and Sirius arose with the first glint of light through his window. Kate returned to her room, albeit reluctantly, to shower and dress while Sirius remained in his own to do the same.

Kate took her time, as even though Sirius had said that they should have a relatively informal holiday, she wanted to look her best. Donning a pair of black, woolen Muggle trousers and a deep crimson turtleneck sweater, Kate then turned her attention to her hair, brushing it until soft waves fell around her face. Some light make-up and her shoes and she was ready to go downstairs to Sirius. She opened the door and stepped into the hallway, stopping to listen for a moment. Satisfied that everyone seemed to still be asleep, she made her way downstairs to the cavernous kitchen – certain she'd finished her preparations before Sirius had done. She wasn't halfway down the hallway leading to the kitchen stairwell when the scent of coffee told Kate she was wrong. She made her way quietly down the stairs and was surprised to hear Sirius' rich baritone-tenor. Kate slipped through the door, closing it silently behind her. The sight she beheld made it almost impossible for her not to laugh out loud.

Sirius stood at the stove, one of Molly's flowery aprons tied around his body, flipping pancakes with jovial abandon. Bacon was piled high on a platter on the table and the aroma of fresh coffee permeated the entire room. An endearing sight, but one that was soundly contradicted by the raucous "carol" being belted out by the pureblood "chef".

"Jingle bells, Snapey smells, that arse Kreacher never learns…" he sang ,then paused to consider his next line, and Kate took the opportunity to announce her arrival by jumping in with, "And if you don't tend to your job, that pancake there will burn….!"

Sirius whipped around at the sound of her voice and Kate laughed out loud at the expression on his face. "Well?" Kate gasped, pointing at the stove. Sirius turned back to the pan and flipped the pancake over. It was, to his chagrin, a little brown.

Kate walked over to the stove and stood behind Sirius, wrapping her arms around his waist. "And just what is all this in aid of?" she asked affectionately, kissing the back of his neck, loving the shiver it produced from him.

"This, my love, is Christmas breakfast," Sirius announced, adding, "Come around here please so I can kiss you properly."

Kate complied, accepting a rather thorough kiss from Sirius before snuggling against his side, his arm draped around her shoulders. "But, Sirius, everyone is still asleep. We're the only ones up. There is way too much food for the two of us."

Sirius sighed dramatically and looked down at her. "Am I not a brilliant wizard?" he asked her.

Kate nodded. "Yes, you are a brilliant wizard – which does nothing to explain why you're cooking Muggle-style, by the way!"

Sirius dropped his hand and gave her behind a playful pinch. Kate jumped and let out a small squeak. "I am cooking Muggle-style because, first of all, I know how to do it and secondly, I like pancakes." He dropped his voice to a whisper. "Besides, Molly probably wouldn't have made them for me, anyway."

Kate shook her head at him. "Bad boy," she said. "But what about the amount you've cooked?"

"Observe, oh doubting one," Sirius said mockingly. "Stasis!" he murmured and, with that word, Sirius cast a preservation spell that would keep the food fresh and hot until the remainder of the household came downstairs for breakfast.

"Coffee?" Kate asked him, moving toward the cupboard for a mug. Sirius grabbed her from behind and led her to the table. "Nope," he said. "I'm doing this. You sit. I'll serve."

Kate did as he asked and as she watched him pour the coffee, fix it as she liked it (he'd been watching) and fill their plates, she noticed that he was wearing his new jumper.

She smiled, glad that her gift had gone over so well.

"And what are you smiling about over here all by yourself?" Sirius asked, placing a full plate and her coffee in front of her, and then lowering his own plate to the table and Summoning his tea. He had removed the flowered apron.

"You," Kate said simply. "Oh, and thanks awfully for removing that apron. Very disconcerting. You might well have been sleeping alone from here on out had you not done so," she finished, smiling as Sirius' eyes grew wide at her final comment.

"Yeah?" he said, softly, watching as she bit into a piece of bacon. Kate looked back up at him. "I'm not sleeping alone anymore?"

Kate felt her face flush as she realized that she'd actually spoken that thought aloud. "I feel a little bit forward," she confessed to him. Sirius reached over and took her hand.

"Bugger that!" he said. "Did you mean it?"

"I guess I did," she said, smiling. "I still feel a little bit tarty suggesting it, though."

Sirius smiled and brought her hand to his lips and kissed it softly. "'tarty',eh? Well, I don't happen to agree with you. The idea of waking up to you in my bed every morning feels more right than anything else." He leaned over and kissed her gently.

"Now, eat your breakfast before the vast, thundering hordes arrive and clean us out."

Kate and Sirius spent an hour enjoying the relative peace and quiet of Christmas morning together – and alone. They had cleaned their dishes and were holding hands and talking quietly when the kitchen door banged opened. Kate and Sirius both jumped at the noise, withdrawing their hands and looking apprehensively at the open door. Smiling devilishly, Remus walked into the kitchen a moment later.

"Well, Happy Christmas!" he said cheerfully. "Any of that coffee left, Kate? It certainly would seem by your reaction that you don't need any additional caffeine," he added, eyes twinkling as he sat down next to her. She slapped his arm before getting up and pouring him a steaming mug. Returning to the table, she squeezed Sirius' shoulder gently before she resumed her seat.

"Happy Christmas to you, too, Remus," Kate leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"Happy Christmas, Mooney," Sirius said. "I can only assume that you'll give a man a moment to get over his Christmas coronary before you demand breakfast?"

Remus chuckled. "Depends on how long you think you'll need, Padfoot. I am fairly hungry this morning and, of course, it is Christmas."

"Speaking of which, that is a lovely jumper you've got on," Kate said, peering around to see the front more clearly. "Ah – a Weasley creation," she said, spotting the "P" on the front.

"P, Mooney?" Sirius said, getting up and heading over to fix a plate for his friend. "P for Prat, perhaps?" He chuckled at his own comment.

Remus caught Kate's eye and they both smiled. This was more than a glimpse of Sirius of old and they were both extremely grateful. "P for Professor, Sirius," Remus replied. "Please try to remember that your thoughts do not need to simply roll out of your mouth at will. You can edit them first."

"Professor? Not Remus or Lupin?" Kate asked.

"I've had those. Molly is determined to make me a jumper each year, so we're down to Professor for this model. Merlin knows what she'll come up with for next year!" Remus shook his head and smiled.

"Perhaps if she needs some help, I could accommodate her," Sirius said, putting a very full plate in front of Remus.

They were up to the G's ("G is for Git, Mooney", was Sirius' last contribution) when the kitchen door opened and this time it was Harry. Sirius greeted him warmly and indicated the seat next to Kate, which the boy dropped into. "Happy Christmas, Kate," he said, smiling shyly.

Kate squeezed his arm affectionately and returned the greeting. "Happy Christmas to you, too. Hungry?" At his nod, she winked at him, then called over her shoulder, "Honestly, Harry, good help is so hard to find! Sirius, Harry is hungry." Harry started to giggle, while Sirius met his gaze, then rolled his eyes in Kate's direction and went over to the stove to fix pancakes and bacon for his Godson.

Eventually, all inhabitants of headquarters made their way downstairs and Sirius was in his element. When everyone had been fed, they all headed outside for a snowball fight – an activity Sirius hadn't partaken in since his Hogwarts days – and one he intended to thoroughly enjoy. Once in the yard, sides were quickly chosen and the fight was on. Kate, Sirius, Remus and Harry went up against Fred, George, Ron and Ginny and it wasn't long before they were all soaked, but happy. As they were trying to decide whether to attempt one last rematch or go inside and warm up, Molly called them to come inside and clean up for lunch and the decision was made for them.

Kate and Sirius headed up to their respective rooms to clean up. Both were freezing from the combination of biting cold air and wet clothing and decided that showers were in order. After dressing, restoring order to her hair and applying some light make up, Kate was ready to rejoin everyone for lunch and headed downstairs. She hadn't gone far, though, when she felt a strong hand cup her elbow. Turning, she saw Sirius behind her, a warm smile on his face. He leaned forward and kissed her gently. Kate reached up and brushed a stubborn lock of hair away from his eyes. "Thank you," she whispered. "Having a good time?" she asked him. Sirius nodded. "A very good time," he said. "Better than any I ever spent in this mausoleum when I was a child."

"Well," Kate said quietly. "What do you say we focus on having more of this 'very good time', starting with lunch?"

Sirius nodded, but didn't let go. "Katie, I love you," he whispered.

"I love you," she said softly, kissing him.

Sirius smiled again and they descended the staircase.

Arthur arrived at Grimmauld Place with much fanfare sometime after the group had finished lunch. Tired from the excitement of his homecoming, his enthusiastic reception upon his arrival and his desire to be rested for dinner later that evening, he gave in to Molly's demand that he nap for awhile. While he was sleeping, the rest of the household -with the exception of Molly who was busy in the kitchen – brought a variety of gifts down to the library and placed them under the tree. Remus had suggested that everyone save their gifts to open together after dinner, and everyone had heartily agreed. Kate and Sirius exchanged slightly guilty looks, but said nothing about their early morning gift giving episode.

As Kate and Remus were arranging the piles of presents under the tree, he reached over and gently lifted her right hand, inspecting the band Sirius had placed there that morning.

With a raised eyebrow and gentle smile, he asked, "Anything you'd like to tell me?"

Kate returned his smile. "A promise ring – to remind me of his promise to work on our relationship, not shut me out. He wanted me to have something I could look at and know that he would keep those promises."

Remus squeezed her hand. "I'm happy for you, Kate. I know things aren't perfect, but I'm happy for both of you that they are improving."

"Best Christmas present I could ever receive," Kate replied, her smile brilliant.

Gathered around the large, formal dining table later that evening, surrounded by her friends – really, her family now and Sirius, Kate thought that perhaps the combination of this and Sirius' promise were the best gifts she could receive.

After the dinner was eaten, the Christmas crackers pulled and exclaimed over and the dishes cleared, Sirius again led the way to the library for their gift exchange. He and Remus had conjured great squashy pillows for the children and all manner of overstuffed chairs for the adults. Soon everyone was comfortable and Ron, who had been drafted to "play Father Christmas" began passing out the brightly wrapped gifts.

Remus was touched by Kate's gift card and Arthur was very interested to hear how it worked. Remus rose from his chair and hugged Kate warmly, thanking her for her thoughtfulness as Sirius smiled at the two friends. Wrapping paper flew around the room as everyone exclaimed over gifts that were unexpected and very much appreciated. Harry shyly handed Remus the package he had wrapped for him and Remus was delighted by its contents. He grasped Harry's shoulder for a moment, then smiled as Harry hugged him briefly and wished him a Happy Christmas, as well. Remus' eyes shone as he sat back down in his chair by the fire and both Kate and Sirius knew that the werewolf was remembering times long ago with another black-haired boy who became a brother to them both.

Finally, Harry wove his way through the scattered paper and each person's pile of gifts and stood before Sirius. In his hands was a clumsily wrapped package bearing a tag with Sirius' name on it. "Sirius," Harry began. "This is for you. Happy Christmas."

Kate made to stand so Harry could sit with Sirius while he opened his gift, but Harry shook his head. "Don't get up, Kate, really. I'm fine." With that, he perched on the arm of the loveseat next to his Godfather.

Sirius looked up at Harry and smiled. "Harry, you shouldn't have spent your money on me. Just having you here is present enough for me!"

Harry's face flushed in pleasure at Sirius' comment. "I wanted to do this. Go ahead, Sirius, open it. Consider it 14 years worth of Christmas presents from your Godson." He smiled as Sirius grinned back at him, remembering the words he, himself, had written on the parchment he'd sent to Harry to explain the Firebolt he'd bought.

Sirius carefully removed the paper and lifted a leather case from the packaging. Opening it slowly, he paused, his eyes growing very wide at the sight. There, nestled in tissue paper was a Muggle watch, rectangular in shape with a soft leather band. It was a duplicate of the one Sirius had worn when the picture was taken of the very first Order of the Phoenix. It had been a gift from James' father when he graduated from Hogwarts and he'd lost it upon his arrest that awful night. Sirius lifted the timepiece almost reverently for a closer look.

"Read the back," Harry whispered.

Sirius didn't trust himself to speak, but he did turn the watch around and spotted the engraving. "To my Godfather, Sirius. Love, Harry" it read. Sirius put his head down and reached for Harry's hand blindly. Kate saw the tears fall, spattering against the tissue paper still lying on Sirius' lap. Harry looked at Kate, alarmed, but she smiled at him and shook her head. "It's ok," she mouthed. "You did a good thing." Harry's face relaxed and, after a moment, Sirius released his hand and wiped at his face, awkwardly.

"Harry, I don't know how to thank you," he said. "I'm sorry about…" he trailed off, his hand waving vaguely at his face. Harry smiled and nodded. He understood exactly what Sirius meant. "This means more to me than I can ever tell you – and for so many reasons, Harry," he finished. "Someday, I'll tell you more."

Harry hugged Sirius. "I'm really glad you like it," he said. "Happy Christmas, Sirius."

"Happy Christmas, Harry."

Kate sat back and watched the scene play out before her and felt only gratitude and happiness that these two people who had lost so much had finally found each other.


	16. Memories Explored, Darkness Encountered

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Kate awoke and immediately knew that she was alone. She opened her eyes and confirmed that not only was Sirius' place beside her empty – it was also cold. She glanced over at the bathroom. The door was open, the room dark. Kate sat up and glanced at her watch, squinting to see the time in the dim light of the typical, sputtering candle. She was surprised to see that it was slightly past 2:30 in the morning. By the time everyone had decided to call it a night and Sirius had located Kreacher and set him to clearing up the detritus of their party, it had been well after 1 AM. They had come upstairs, both tired from the events of the day, and had spoken little before getting into bed; while they hadn't made love, Sirius had embraced her and Kate had fallen asleep in his arms.

Kate thought back to the events of their evening and couldn't immediately pinpoint anything that might have upset Sirius or caused him to be unable to sleep. He had been extremely moved by Harry's gift, Kate thought as she rose and pulled on her robe, belting it tightly about her waist. The two had spent time talking together after Sirius had opened the watch, but their conversation had appeared completely normal, although Sirius repeatedly touched or looked at the watch on his wrist. Kate hoped Sirius' absence was due to simple insomnia and not some dark memory triggered by an innocent gift from the Godson who adored him. She took her wand from the table and quietly made her way out of the room. Kate's first thought was to check the library. If something about the evening had upset Sirius, he most likely would have gone back there to brood. Scene of the crime, she thought, hoping her instincts were right and he wasn't upstairs with Buckbeak. She didn't relish an encounter with that particular magical creature tonight.

As she descended the staircase and approached the library, Kate was surprised to hear the low murmur of voices from behind the half-closed door. As she drew nearer, her surprise was complete as she beheld Sirius and Harry seated on the small loveseat, deep in conversation. While Kate knew she shouldn't intrude, she couldn't help but feel a bit envious of Sirius and his place in his – no, their – Godson's life. As Kate began to turn around and head back up to Sirius' room, Harry's voice floated clearly across the room.

"Is this a photo album?"

Kate turned back to the doorway, shielding herself from view, but standing in a position where she could both see and hear the occupants of the room. Damn the proprieties, she thought to herself.

She saw Harry gesture to the album that Sirius had placed on the low table in front of them. Sirius paled, but nodded. "Mmm," he murmured. "Just some old pictures from long ago."

Clearly intrigued, Harry looked from the photo album to his Godfather, then back again. "May I look at them?" he asked.

Sirius hesitated, his fingers absently fidgeting on the arms of his chair. "Harry, I haven't looked at all of them, myself, yet. I'm not sure ..."

Harry picked up the album before Sirius could react and said, "Well, since neither of us can sleep, maybe we could look at it together. Maybe there are pictures of Mum and Dad and…."

Kate watched as the album fell open on the boy's lap and the picture of Sirius and her met Harry's gaze. "Sirius, isn't this Kate?" Harry asked after a long moment.

Sirius cleared his throat. "Yes. Yes, that's Kate," he responded. "It was taken when we were at school. I think Kate told you that we were friends when we were at Hogwarts together."

Harry looked at Sirius for a long moment, and then began to turn the pages. Image after image met his gaze, many of Kate and Sirius together and others of the couple with James, Lily and Remus. Although Sirius watched the pictures as they went by, there was little recognition on his face. Only the photos that included Kate seemed to register – and those provoked what appeared to be great sadness on the older man's face.

"Kate's in quite a few of these pictures," Harry said softly, looking over at his Godfather.

Sirius gazed into the fire for a few moments before he answered. "Yes, she is," he replied, an odd edge to his voice.

"You must have been close," Harry continued, with the awkward curiosity of a teenaged boy.

Sirius nodded, silently.

Harry wasn't letting it go. "She knew Mum and Dad – and Professor Lupin…"

Sirius seemed to shake himself out of whatever contemplative stupor he'd been mired down in. "Yes, yes, we were all friends back then, Harry," he said, roughly.

Kate looked at Sirius' face as Harry clumsily tried to ask the question on his mind. There was an apprehension there, no – more than apprehension. There was fear. He shrugged his shoulders. "We were friends, Harry. We are friends," he said firmly, finally.

Harry leaned over and handed Sirius the album. "Sorry," he mumbled. "None of my business."

Sirius clenched his hands together in his lap as he heard the tone of Harry's voice. So young, so afraid of offending the man who really was the only family he had. No, not the only family, Sirius shook his head at the annoyingly correct voice in his head. He was brought out of his reverie by the sound of Harry's voice. Timidly, he was saying, "It's just that you seemed to be more than friends in some of those pictures; you looked more like Mum and Dad. I just thought…" he trailed off.

Kate's breath caught in her throat. Her brain screamed at her to leave before Sirius responded, but her feet wouldn't obey.

Sirius drew a deep breath and leaned over to Harry, putting his hand over the boy's. "Once, Kate and I were more than friends," he was saying. Harry's head shot up and he met his Godfather's gaze. "But the war got in the way. Things happened. Your parents died. Our whole world was virtually destroyed. I was taken…well, you know what happened there."

Harry's eyes widened. "What happened to Kate?"

"Harry, things were so chaotic then. There was so much distrust and suspicion. It tore friendships apart, ruined relationships. Everyone was afraid. We all walked around looking over our shoulders. There was a spy in the original Order and we were desperately trying to work out who it was. When we couldn't, we let fear and suspicion gain even more ground. It happened to all of us," Sirius spoke rapidly, desperation in his voice. "We even suspected Remus – you know that. You remember that from the Shack – when we confronted Peter. Peter!" Sirius spat out. "The only one we didn't suspect. The only one we should have suspected!" He jumped up and began to pace in front of the fireplace, clenching and unclenching his fists, arms by his sides. Kate watched him nervously and could clearly see that Harry was disconcerted by his Godfather's sudden change in demeanor. Sirius was speaking again.

"That's how it was back then. Fear, suspicion – we forgot who we should trust. Remus suspected me because I couldn't bring myself to look in his eyes. He would disappear for long periods of time on assignment for Dumbledore. I thought he was in league with Voldemort; Remus was scouting werewolf camps – risking his life for the cause, not plotting to give precious lives over to the enemy! My ego kicked in. I couldn't risk being their Secret Keeper because I was afraid if I was captured, the Death Eaters would torture your hiding place out of me." Sirius ran his hands through his hair, and then turned to face Harry. "I knew it all back then. I knew they'd never suspect Peter. So, I went to your parents and I convinced them to use that bastard rat. I handed their lives over to Voldemort because I thought I knew bloody everything!" He gave a growl that was chillingly reminiscent of the dog he could become. He threw himself back into his chair, breathing heavily.

Kate could see Harry trembling slightly, his eyes wide. Then, Sirius spoke again. "I never meant to hand them over, Harry."

Harry made to stand to go over to the older man, but sat down abruptly when Sirius rose suddenly and walked over to the low table in front of Harry, swept the top clear and sat directly in front of his Godson. Looking the boy in the face, Sirius started speaking rapidly, desperately, as if his life depended on what he had to say to Harry. "After I'd found them and surrendered you to Hagrid, I went looking for Pettigrew. "

Harry nodded, but didn't dare interrupt the flow of words. He knew the story; Sirius seemed to have forgotten his earlier acknowledgement that it had all come out in the Shrieking Shack.

"He framed me, Harry. He framed me in front of the Muggle police, in front of Kate. Harry, Kate was there when they arrested me. She saw me taken away. You know how crazed I was. The entire wizarding world believed me guilty. The Ministry knew we were together back then."

Kate held her breath. Harry took advantage of Sirius' need for oxygen. "What happened to Kate, Sirius?" he asked again.

"The Aurors – our friends - searched our flat, brought her in for questioning. When they couldn't get anything out of her, they gave up trying. She was released," Sirius replied. "She went to America and worked in their Ministry as an Auror."

"She thought you were guilty, too," Harry said, flatly.

Kate's heart sank. The sudden resentment in that boy's voice was almost more than Kate could bear. Sirius, please; don't let Harry walk away from this conversation resenting me on your behalf.

"Everyone did" Sirius replied, still wringing his hands, but appearing somewhat less frenzied – to Kate's considerable relief. "Remus thought me guilty, as well. I never blamed either of them, Harry."

"But if she had come forward," Harry began.

"There was nothing either of them could have done," Sirius said quietly.

Harry sighed. "Did she know me, too?"

"Of course she knew you, Harry," Sirius said sharply. "I told you that we were all friends back then – your parents, Remus, me…that sodding rat," the last said in a snarl. "We all knew you, spent time with you."

Harry's own nerves had been frayed since his arrival at Grimmauld Place. Between the Dementor attack in Little Whinging before term started the presence of Dolores Umbridge at Hogwarts and Arthur's recent attack, the boy had been through enough emotional upheaval. He was letting Sirius' uneven behavior give him license to let a little of his own control slip. Kate began to wonder if she should make her presence known to the occupants of the library – to avoid the confrontation she had a feeling was looming. She realized that entering the fray could provoke the situation further and resolved to wait a bit longer to see how things played out.

"Were she and Mum close?" Harry asked, his voice slightly defiant."

Sirius stared at Harry. "She was your mother's best friend," he bit out. "She was there the day you were born – we both were. She waited with us until we could see you. She and I were the first to hold you after James and Lily. I'd say they were close."

Harry blinked as he considered Sirius' answer. Kate could almost see the wheels turn. Not like this. Not in bitterness. Not because you've had a bad time looking at those photos, Sirius. Don't tell him like this. We'll all resent it – especially Harry.

"Sirius, you and Kate were still together when I was born, weren't you?" Harry asked.

Now! Kate strode into the room. "Enough!" she cried, causing Sirius and Harry to both jump. Sirius turned and stared at her, shaking his head slowly.

"No," he murmured. "Don't."

Harry rose, coming around the other side of the table and walking slowly toward her.

"Sirius," Kate said softly. "Please. Things have gone far enough. You're both far too overwrought to discuss this any more tonight."

"Kate," Harry spoke quietly. "There's something going on – something that concerns me. I'd like to know."

Sirius looked from Kate to Harry and back again, then turned and went back to his chair, resuming his seat.

"Harry, please understand that no one has been keeping anything from you deliberately and that no one wanted to hurt you," Kate began, moving forward and catching Harry by the arm. When they were both seated on the love seat, Kate continued. "Harry, everything Sirius has told you tonight is true. We were all friends in school – your parents, Remus, Sirius and Pettigrew." Ignoring Sirius' loud growl, Kate continued. "War makes people do and say things they ordinarily wouldn't do or say. Yes, there was great suspicion and division in the Order, but everyone was united in their desire and commitment to protect your parents."

Kate took a deep breath and stole a glance at Sirius. His head was bowed and his hands were folded in his lap. She pressed onward. "When you were born, Sirius and I were still together. Lily wanted Sirius to be your Godfather and James, of course, was thrilled to have his best mate in that role. James raised the question of a Godmother as Sirius was single. Traditionally, the Godparents are a couple and, while we were together, Sirius and I weren't married. Harry, your parents didn't care about that at all." Kate took a deep breath, knowing that she could not back out now. "And so they made me your Godmother on the day you were born."

Harry's eyes got very wide and he looked over at Sirius for some type of confirmation. Sirius remained silent – head bowed.

Harry kept Kate's gaze while asking, "Why didn't you stay? Why didn't you take me instead of the Dursleys? Why didn't you help Sirius?"

Kate felt her eyes fill. "Oh, Harry, I was a mess. I'd lost Sirius to Azkaban – and the Dark Side, it appeared. I tried to take you, but Dumbledore wouldn't hear of it. He said you needed the protection of your mother's blood. And so, you were to stay with her sister. Dumbledore made it clear that I was to have no access to you, which was very painful. I knew I couldn't have you with me, so I left. I went to America, as Sirius told you. It was the best solution at the time."

"But I don't understand. Why didn't you just tell me?" Harry asked.

Kate looked at Sirius again. Nothing. "Because you'd already been through so much, with everything that happened last year and now everything you've been through since summer." She reached over and laid her hand over his and was gratified when he didn't pull away. "Harry, no one meant to deceive you or keep anything from you. Please know that."

Harry nodded, but didn't look up. "I just wish people would stop treating me like I can't handle things. I wish people would just tell me the truth," he murmured.

Kate's eyes filled. "I understand, Harry," she said. "Please know that no one intentionally lied to you. No one meant to hurt you. We just didn't want to add more stress to your life."

Harry nodded again then looked up at her. "I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about you now that I know. I'm sorry, only … I just don't know you very well."

Kate felt her heart constrict at his words. When she spoke, she could hear the tightness in her voice. "Harry, I don't expect anything from you; that wouldn't be fair to you. We've been doing alright so far, haven't we? Why don't we just continue on as we've been and we'll just see how it all goes, yes?"

Harry looked slightly relieved and nodded again.

"It's late. You'll feel better in the morning, after you've had some sleep," Kate suggested.

Harry rose. "Good night, Kate," he said. Then, looking over at Sirius, he spoke again. "Good night, Sirius."

This time, Sirius raised his head. His face was pale. "Good night, Harry," he whispered.

Harry nodded and left the room.

Sirius watched him leave then turned his gaze back to Kate. "I hope you're pleased," he said, his voice cold.

Kate steeled herself. This was exactly the reaction she thought he would have. "Sirius, he had already figured it out for himself based on your conversation. I think he would have resented it even more if we hadn't spoken up."

"And you were lurking in the hallway to take advantage of the opportunity," Sirius stated.

"I woke up alone and came looking for you to make sure you were alright. Your conversation was already in progress when I found you," Kate replied, suddenly exhausted by the events of the evening. "Yes, I know I should have gone back upstairs and not eavesdropped, but I couldn't help myself. When I heard my name, I stayed. It was wrong and I'm sorry. I just … I guess I just wanted to listen. Once I knew he was looking at the album, I just wanted to see if he put it together."

Sirius rose. "Well, you got your wish, didn't you? And now we'll wait and see how much damage it does, whether or not he still trusts any of us."

Kate sighed. "Sirius, he still has over a week before he has to go back to school. He'll be here with us the whole time. We'll be available to talk with him, to answer his questions. It's far more likely that he'll adjust well to the news and go back to Hogwarts knowing that he has a little more family than he had before the holidays. He's not stupid, Sirius."

Sirius looked at her. "I'm going to bed. Perhaps you'd like to see me to my room so you'll know where I am," he said, sarcasm in his voice. "It will eliminate the need for you to roam the halls looking for me later on."

Kate's head snapped up as if he'd struck her. She shook her head.

"No?" he questioned. "Well, then I'll just say goodnight." Sirius paused for a moment and when Kate made no reply, he left.

Kate made her way over to Sirius' chair and sank down into the deep cushion. She closed her eyes and thought that, once again, things had spiraled out of control between the two of them. Kate was still there when the sun began to send pale pink fingers of light through the window shutters and sleep, finally, claimed her.


	17.  The Professor and His Student – Lessons at Dawn

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

When Remus came downstairs the following morning, he was somewhat surprised to find Harry seated at the table, hunched over a mug of tea. He looked up as Remus entered the kitchen and the werewolf was struck by the pallor of the teenager – made more noticeable by the dark smudges under his eyes.

"Harry!" Remus greeted him warmly; making the decision to proceed as normal with the boy and let him decide if he wanted to share whatever was so obviously on his mind. He retrieved a mug and crossed the room to the table.

"Good morning, Professor," Harry replied quietly. "You're up early, too."

"Yes, well, I've always been an early riser," Remus responded, smiling. He sat down across the table from Harry and sipped from his own freshly poured mug. "It was one of the only ways of guaranteeing a hot shower in the morning when I was at school. In fact, your father and Godfather once accused Dumbledore of cutting off the supply of hot water to every shower but those in the Prefects' bathrooms. They worked up a campaign that would allow 'rotational visits' to the Prefects' bathrooms to … how did Sirius put it … 'promote hygienic equality for all'." He smiled at the memory.

Harry looked up from his tea and gave him a half-hearted smile. "Sounds like something Sirius would think of," he said.

"Mmm," Remus murmured. "That was a beautiful watch you gave him yesterday, Harry. It meant a great deal to Sirius that you would have thought to replace something that was so dear to him."

Harry's face went red at the compliment, but beyond a shy smile, he didn't respond.

They sat, quietly drinking their tea for awhile then Harry broke the silence. "Professor, can I talk to you about something? It's personal," he added.

Ah, here it comes. "Of course, Harry. Always." Remus placed his mug on the table and folded his hands around it, waiting for the boy to gather his thoughts.

Harry shifted in his chair as he sought to pull together just the right words. Finally, he took a deep breath and looked steadily at Remus. "I know that you and Kate are friends – well that you've been friends for a long time." At Remus' nod, he continued. "And, of course, you and Sirius have been best mates since Hogwarts, too." Remus nodded again. I'm not sure I like where this seems to be heading, he thought to himself, but kept his expression passive as Harry nodded.

"Did you know that Kate's my Godmother?"

Remus' eyes widened slightly and he felt his heart skip a beat. He took a breath to reply, but before he could, Harry rushed on.

"If you did, I'm not really mad at you for not telling me – just so you know. I mean, I think that out of everyone involved in this whole thing, you're probably the only person I'm not really frustrated with right now. It's just that there seems to be so many things that people know about me but don't say anything about. First, there was the whole thing about me being a wizard; that was pretty big. Then, I hear about Sirius Black – the escaped convict, the dangerous criminal – but nobody tells me that he's my Godfather. I had to hear it … well, actually, I sort of overheard it." Harry looked up at Remus, holding his gaze. "Professor, why don't people tell me what I need to know? Do they think that I can't handle knowing the truth? I mean, why wouldn't they tell me that I have family other than the Dursleys?" He stopped, out of breath for the moment.

Remus took a deep breath. "How did you find out?" he asked quietly.

"Last night, I couldn't sleep and I was coming down here for something to drink and I saw Sirius in the library. He couldn't sleep either, I guess and he had a photo album with him. There were a lot of pictures of you all when you were at Hogwarts – and Kate and Sirius were in many of them," Harry answered. "I asked Sirius about them and he got really upset. I haven't seen him like that since the night in the Shack with Pettigrew."

Remus closed his eyes briefly. "What do you mean he 'got upset'?"

Harry ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation. "That's just it! I don't know why he got like that! He started telling me about what it was like back in the first War – how nobody trusted anybody else and how it was his fault my Mum and Dad used Pettigrew as their Secret Keeper. He talked about being arrested in front of Kate and how the Aurors brought her in for questioning and searched their flat because they knew she and Sirius were together." Harry paused and looked at Remus again. "I had figured that there was something going on, but I didn't know it went back that far 'til I saw the pictures. Sirius was really upset and then I got upset and by the time Kate walked in, everything was pretty tense," he finished.

Merlin. "So, Sirius and Kate told you who she really is?" Remus asked, pouring more tea into each of their mugs.

Harry shook his head. "Not really. Well, sort of. Actually, I don't think he wanted me to know, but I had already figured it out from the things he said after I saw all the photos. Kate's the one who told me," Harry said. "She said that everyone knew I'd been through a lot with the Dementors and the stuff at school and they didn't want to add to the stress so they figured they'd wait awhile to tell me." He shook his head.

Remus mirrored the boy's gesture. "Harry, to answer your question, yes – I did know that Kate was your Godmother. I was there when Lily and James asked her if she would be willing to stand for you," he said quietly.

"What did she say?" Harry's voice was barely more than a whisper. "Do you remember?"

Remus swallowed and gave himself a moment to make sure his voice was steady. He had only heard Harry sound so heartbreakingly young once before – when he had recounted to Remus Sirius' invitation to live with him after his name was cleared. "Yes, I recall it very clearly," Remus began. "She was crying and laughing at the same time and so needed a few moments to get to the point where she could actually speak. But, Harry, when she found her voice, she couldn't say 'yes' quickly enough. She was thrilled to do it and incredibly moved that they had asked her. Harry, she loved spending time with you and she was with you as often as she could be – and so was Sirius," Remus added.

Harry said nothing, just sat with his head bowed. After several minutes, he looked up and his eyes were suspiciously bright. "If she loved me so much, why didn't she stay here with me after Sirius went to Azkaban? Or she could have taken me with her when she went to America," he said, his voice rising.

Remus reached over and put his hand on Harry's arm. "Harry, you know Dumbledore would never have let that happen. His chief concern was your protection and the best – the only reliable protection for you was to send you to live with your mother's sister. It was – and remains – one of the oldest protection charms known to our world. Dumbledore wouldn't have given you to Kate any more than he would have given you to me; you know that to be true, Harry."

The boy nodded and sighed. "I know, Professor. It's just that I don't know how to feel. And Sirius," Harry's voice rose again. "He's so angry at Kate. He didn't want her to tell me and he was so cold to her. So now, I'm not sure what to do. I want to get to know Kate as my Godmother, but it feels like I'm being disloyal to Sirius if I do. And I'm just so frustrated with him, Professor. I mean, Kate explained why no one told me about her and I guess I get it, but Sirius just sat there through the whole thing. And part of me is frustrated with Kate because she didn't tell me, either…and she had the chance to do it when we were Christmas shopping – just the two of us…but she didn't. I just…" Harry stopped speaking and exhaled loudly. He looked at Remus and shrugged. "I don't know what 'I just'", he said.

Remus looked at the young man and his heart went out to him. "Harry, first of all, you cannot walk away from Kate because of Sirius' anger and there's no reason for you to feel disloyal to him. You have to understand that Sirius is concerned with your safety. He wants to protect you, but is challenged by his circumstances. He probably told you the story about Peter a second time because that's his worst memory and he dreads failing your parents again by somehow failing you." He paused. "Harry, I think it's time that you and Sirius had a talk. You need to ask him to explain what's behind his decision not to tell you about Kate. You owe it to each other to get this behind you so you can move on."

Harry shook his head. "Why does he keep blaming himself for what happened? He was just doing what he thought was the best thing to keep us safe. Sirius didn't know that Pettigrew was with Voldemort – nobody did! I don't blame him for any of it, Professor. Sirius is my family."

Remus looked at Harry's earnest expression and heard the sincerity in his voice and knew the boy was telling the truth. "I think that the time has come for Sirius to hear those things – from you. It has done no good for the rest of us to tell him, although each of us has tried. Like you, Sirius carries an enormous weight on his shoulders. Unlike you, his burden is the past. Yours is one of responsibility – the burden of what you face in your future. Oddly enough, your burden only makes Sirius' heavier because he feels that James and Lily named him Godfather with the expectation that he would protect you from harm. Not only does he take that initial responsibility to heart, he has added the weight of guilt over their deaths to it and thinks that he must protect you at all costs now as a way of atoning for his betrayal of your parents. I know he didn't betray them, Harry," Remus said firmly, seeing that Harry was about to protest his last comment. "But, again, it doesn't matter that I know it; he needs to know that you know it – and that you believe it in your heart."

"Will my talking to him help him get over Azkaban?" Harry asked the older man.

Remus smiled sadly. "No, Harry," he said. "I don't think that Sirius will ever entirely shed the effects of those years. The fact that he survived them with any of his mind intact is astonishing; but I think he will always carry some of that darkness with him. What I do believe is that by loving him and accepting him, we can help minimize some of those effects. Your talking to him about your parents and reassuring him about how you feel will be an excellent step in helping him to heal. You're going to have to be patient, though. He's apt to be a bit reclusive after the events of last night."

Harry nodded. "But I've only got a week and a half before I go back to Hogwarts," he said, sounding anxious. "I want to sort it out before I go. I don't want him living in this hideous place after I'm gone, thinking I'm angry with him."

Remus smiled understandingly. "I think you'll have enough time. Perhaps enough to ease your frustration and begin to get to know your Godmother, as well." He ducked his head to catch the teenager's eye.

Harry gave him a small smile, and then interrupted it with a wide yawn. "Sorry, Professor," he said sheepishly. "I didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

"It's still very early – the sun isn't even up yet," Remus observed. "Why don't you go back upstairs and try to sleep for awhile."

Harry nodded and rose with his mug. He crossed to the sink and rinsed it out before heading to the door. As he passed the table, Remus spoke again.

"Oh, and Harry," the boy turned. "I haven't been your professor for quite some time now. Given that and the fact that we do have a pretty extensive history, I think it would be alright for you to call me Remus, don't you?"

Harry shook his head and smiled. "Who says you've stopped being my professor?" he asked the werewolf, gesturing to the chair he had recently vacated. "I think you're still teaching me, so if it's ok, I think I'll stick with 'professor'."

Remus felt his throat tighten and could only nod in response. He stared at the doorway long after Harry had walked through it, filled with emotion. Ah, James, you would be so proud of your son, he thought wistfully. After a time, he tapped the kettle with his wand to set it to boil and poured a fresh cup of the strong tea he favored. As he sipped, Remus considered all that had been revealed in his discussion with Harry and began to think ahead to the conversations and confrontations that had been inevitably set in motion.


	18. Confrontation and Aftermath

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Sirius awoke to darkness, a thin veneer of sweat covering his skin. The candle had gone out – again – and he fumbled for his wand to re-light the wick. Having done so, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat for a moment, collecting himself. He looked at his watch, lying on the table next to the bed. The flickering candle cast just enough light for him to see the time: 4:10 AM. Sirius stood and made his way to the bathroom. After relieving himself, he stripped his wrinkled robes from his body, moved to the shower and was soon standing under a steady stream of hot water. Although the water and familiar routine soothed his aching muscles, they did nothing to lift the darkness of his spirits. As Sirius rinsed the soap from his body, his mind recalled images of the previous night's confrontations – first with Harry and then with Kate. Sirius felt his body tremble as he recalled his conversation with Harry. The ravages of Azkaban were visible in his appearance (particularly to those who remembered him from school or had seen pictures of that time) and in his mood swings. That said, however, last night was the first time that Sirius had lost control of the darkness – and his temper – in front of Harry. Until last night, Sirius had managed to keep a tight rein on those emotions when Harry was around and, Merlin only knew what Harry must be thinking now that he'd actually seen that side of Sirius. Turning off the shower and stepping out onto the cold floor, Sirius grabbed a towel and began to roughly dry himself. Finishing, he wrapped the towel around his waist, used grooming and drying charms to deal with his beard, teeth and hair and moved back into his bedroom to dress.

Sirius realized that he was completely exhausted – physically, mentally and emotionally – but he was too agitated to try to sleep any more at the moment. Visions of Harry's face danced in front of Sirius' eyes each time he closed them and the anger in Harry's voice echoed in his mind. Sirius grabbed boxers from his dresser drawer, then roughly jerked open the door of his wardrobe, pulling out and donning a pair of Muggle jeans. He turned and rifled through the clothing he'd draped on the back of his chair and his hand touched the soft wool of the sweater Kate had given him for Christmas. Sirius felt his anger from the night before course through his body and he growled as he lifted the garment and threw it across the room, breathing heavily as he watched it land in a corner. Despite all her pretty platitudes about respecting his wishes, she had betrayed him! Sirius plucked a black turtleneck jumper from the pile and pulled it on as he crossed the room to his bedside table. He put on the watch Harry had given him the night before, then reached for the photo album he had placed under his pillow after he had opened it in the wee small hours of Christmas morning. Almost immediately, he remembered that he would not, in fact, find what he was looking for…at least not here. Walking determinedly out of his bedroom, Sirius made his way down to the library. Reaching his destination, Sirius opened the door and strode over to the low table in front of the fire. He remembered sweeping the items from the top of the table in his haste to speak with Harry last night. Withdrawing his wand from his pocket, Sirius muttered, "Lumos" and quickly located the album in the dim light it cast. Picking it up from the floor, Sirius turned back toward the door and, as he did so, his gaze fell on his chair and his eyes narrowed as he saw Kate, asleep, curled up in its depths. She had obviously been there since the night before but, in his current mood, Sirius could not bring himself to care. He walked over to the fireplace where the remnants of last night's fire glowed dimly. Sirius looked down at the album he clutched in his hand. The album Kate had given him to help him recover his memories. The album that had triggered last night's confrontation with Harry. The album that had given Kate the opportunity to break her word to him and to tell Harry the truth about who she was. Pausing only for a moment, Sirius threw the album into the fire then turned on his heel and walked out of the room. He didn't hear the gasp of surprise from the corner, nor hear the soft footfalls of a black-haired, bespectacled boy as he made his way to the fireplace and carefully pulled the singed album from the embers. Dropping it on the hearth and allowing any sparks to burn out, Harry gently picked up the album, tucked it in the sleeve of his jumper and silently left the room. Through it all, Kate never stirred.

Sirius walked into the kitchen and came to a screeching halt as he found Remus seated at the table. It took every ounce of self-control he possessed not to turn around and bolt back upstairs. If there was ever a time he couldn't take Remus' probing questions or persuasive conversation, this was it. Sirius nodded in the direction of his best friend and walked over to the cupboard for a mug. "Mooney," he muttered in greeting as he poured himself a mug full of tea.

Remus similarly inclined his head. "Padfoot," he said, watching Sirius add milk and sugar to the steaming mug with a trembling hand. Remus' gaze shot to Sirius' face and he was unsurprised to see bloodshot eyes ringed by dark circles. As Sirius hurriedly turned back to the door to leave, Remus stopped him with a single sentence.

"I had tea with Harry this morning."

Sirius stopped so abruptly, some of his tea sloshed onto his boots. Turning slowly, Sirius faced Remus, his expression dark. "I am in no mood for an interrogation this morning, Remus," he advised his friend.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "I merely told you I had tea with Harry earlier. I had no intention of conducting an interrogation, Sirius. I am sorry you seem to have had such a difficult night."

"Harry told you I had a tough night, did he?" Sirius asked, taking a step closer to the table and setting the mug on its surface.

Remus looked the Animagus dead in the eye. "I don't need a teenager to tell me what I can see with my own eyes. You look like hell."

"What happened to all those lovely manners of yours, Mooney?" Sirius' smile and tone were sarcastic and his eyes remained cold as he looked down at his friend. "Generally, you would just look all sympathetic and understanding while gently trying to encourage me to talk about my problems."

Remus rose and reached across the table so swiftly, Sirius' shoulders were held in an iron grip and he was pulled against the table before he realized what was happening. Sirius lost a bit of his cocky arrogance as he felt Remus' fingers tighten. The table pressed cruelly against his thighs and he could feel Remus' breath puff against his face as he began to speak.

"My manners – lovely or otherwise – seem to have lost their impact on you," Remus said, his jaw clenched and his voice deadly quiet and his eyes showing more amber than blue. Sirius realized that he had finally pushed the werewolf to the limit of his patience and that now he was facing an equal measure of both man and wolf. He forced himself to remain still as Remus continued. "And so I will try the more direct route and hope that it succeeds where manners have failed. I do not understand nor do I sympathize with anyone who is so willing to throw away a second chance with both hands as you are doing right now! I know how much you've lost, Sirius, because I still have the memories – I lived them. I would do anything for you to reclaim them. They are a link to who we both used to be, to a time we both shared. Kate is a link to that time." Remus ignored Sirius' low growl as he heard her name. "Harry is a link to that time – and he lost more than any of us combined!" Remus paused and Sirius' head dropped as his body drooped slightly in his grasp. "I want you to sit down and listen to me. If I let go of you, will you do that?" Sirius nodded, his eyes closed. Remus gave Sirius a slight push as he let go and watched him slump into the chair behind him.

Remus reached behind him to right his own chair that had tipped over when he'd risen so abruptly. Seating himself, he glanced over at Sirius and muttered, "Good. Now, open your eyes. I want you to look at me while I talk to you."

Sirius opened his eyes obediently. Although he was irritated at his friend's treatment, he knew better than to cross Remus when he was this angry.

"So Harry knows about Kate," Remus began. "She told him. In front of you. And from what I'm given to understand, you didn't bother participating in the conversation. Save it!" he bit out, seeing Sirius open his mouth to speak. "I'm not interested in hearing anything from you at the moment." Remus was gratified to see Sirius' mouth close, although his blue eyes glittered dangerously back at him. "I understand that you have a photo album and I know that it came from Kate because she asked me to look at it before she wrapped it. She wanted to make sure that having it wouldn't do more damage to you than the good she intended it to do. I told her that it was a risk, but then again, everything is. At this point, anything can trigger an episode – whether it's dark moods or nightmares. You just need more time. Having Kate with you seemed to be helping just as having Harry here has made such a positive difference…until today, that is. But I digress. I don't know everything that happened last night, but I'll wager I can guess with fair accuracy. I'm sure that watch opened a door in your mind; I saw your reaction when you unwrapped it. I was there when James gave you the original. I know how much it meant to you. I have absolutely no idea how that boy came to buy that particular gift, but I know that at some level, Harry's replacement of his father's original gift to you triggered something in that muddled brain of yours. I'm betting it didn't take you long to pull out that album again. And Harry found you – and the photos. He did tell me that he looked at some of the photos while you both were in the library and that you became very upset when he asked about Kate. I reckon I know why." Sirius looked away from the werewolf at that.

"Sirius, look at me," Remus' voice was still commanding, but the tone was slightly less harsh. When his friend complied, Remus continued, "He was getting close to the truth and you knew it, didn't you? He was going to guess on his own and, somehow, that made it even worse in your eyes. You were right, too, Sirius. Harry told me himself. He had begun figuring things out seeing the two of you together these last weeks. What was news to him was that your relationship had so much history, that it went back so far." Remus paused, leaning forward in his seat and clasping his hands on the table before him. "Harry told me that you were angry with Kate, that he had the impression you didn't want her to tell him the truth. He doesn't understand why."

"But you enlightened him," Sirius responded, his voice flat.

Remus sighed. "I told him that he needed to seek you out and talk with you. He wants to get to know Kate but he's afraid that doing so is disloyal to you and will make you angry. – especially after seeing your reaction to her last night. He realizes that he has very little time to resolve this with you before he leaves for school and it's important to him that he does so. Padfoot, please don't hide away from him this week. Let him come to you and resolve this thing. Don't let him go back to Hogwarts to worry about you – and this situation."

Sirius shifted in his chair. "May I speak, now?" he asked. At Remus' nod, he continued. "Look, I am angry with Kate and I think I'm justified. She came downstairs, saw Harry and I together and stood outside the door listening to our conversation. Kate heard the opening she's been waiting for to barge in and tell Harry who she is to him. She grabbed onto it, waltzed into the library and told him she was his Godmother. Not too cricket of her, Remus. We had a deal. If she could hold on until after Christmas, we'd tell him together – before he went back to school. She didn't keep her word, Remus. Kate did what she wanted to do despite what she'd promised."

Remus frowned. "There had to be some reason she stopped being an observer and came into that room, Sirius."

Sirius snorted loudly. "I told you, Remus. She saw her chance. She overheard Harry starting to ask questions and, without so much as a by your leave, she came marching in, eager to share the news."

Remus shook his head. "But that doesn't sound like her at all, Sirius. But even if she did do it for selfish reasons, why didn't you step in and participate in the conversation instead of leaving it all to her?"

Sirius looked at his old friend, incredulity spread across his pale features. "'instead of leaving it all to her'?! Remus, she was doing fine on her own. She didn't need me to step in, believe me." He paused and ran his fingers through his hair. "You should have heard Harry, Remus. He was so upset. He asked her why we didn't tell him before. He asked her why she didn't stay to help me and take care of him. He even asked her why she didn't take him with her to the States. It was even worse than I thought it would be."

Remus sighed. "But, Sirius, don't you see that if you had joined in and helped Kate explain it to him, it might have made it easier for him? For everyone, really."

Sirius' brows came together. "What do you mean? What did he say to you?"

"He's frustrated, Sirius. Frustrated with Kate for not telling him when she had the chance to do so. Frustrated with you for not telling him, but also for being angry with Kate. Frustrated at the situation because he doesn't know how he's supposed to feel about or treat Kate – a woman with such a strong connection to both him and his parents – not to mention you, but whom he really doesn't know. Most of all, Sirius, he's a boy who doesn't know which way to turn to avoid hurting someone he loves. And he's not putting himself very high on the list of people to please, either," Remus stopped. "You're the adult here, Sirius. You've been going on and on about your responsibilities to Harry. You complain constantly about your inability to really protect him and take care of him because you're stuck here. Well, here's your chance. Take care of him by having an honest conversation with him. Tell him the truth about why you didn't tell him about Kate in the beginning. Give him permission to get to know her and don't be angry or withdrawn when he does – no matter how you feel about Kate yourself. If you really want to give Harry something meaningful, Sirius, give him his Godmother without any animosity or guilt." Remus sat back in his chair. "Don't hide from the boy this week because you're afraid he won't love you anymore. Sirius, that boy loves you like a father. You can't change that, no one can. If he's upset with you, it's normal. You may not remember how many times I fell out with my father, but we had a fair few confrontations in our time. It never meant we didn't love each other, yeah? Let him come to you and get this resolved."

"All right, Mooney," Sirius said, quiet now.

"And Kate?" Remus asked, dreading the answer. "You've both come so far in reestablishing your relationship. You've been so much happier these last weeks. It would be a shame to throw that away without trying to put it right."

Sirius looked up at him. "I trusted her. She broke her word to me, Mooney. That's going to take some time," he said, his voice cold.

Remus sighed then rose from his chair and started to walk toward the door. Sirius came around the table and caught the werewolf's arm as he passed. "I'm sorry I was such a bloody wanker to you, Mooney," he said softly. "You're my best friend and I know you just want everything to be ok." He paused. "Are we ok?"

Remus drew the smaller man into what he intended to be a brief hug, but one that Sirius prolonged for a few moments. "Padfoot, you're my brother – more than any blood relative could be. That's why I got so angry with you. I only want you to heal and find some happiness for yourself. But I could never not be "ok" with you," he said, standing back from Sirius, but holding his gaze.

Sirius nodded. "Thank you, Mooney. You know I feel the same."

Remus smiled. "I'm going upstairs to work on a report for Albus," he said. "I'll be in the library if you need me."

Sirius nodded again and watched him leave. As difficult as their confrontation had been, he found himself feeling less explosive, less out of control than before. While he still couldn't shake his anger at Kate, he felt more ready to face his conversation with Harry – whenever it came.


	19. Conversations in the Library

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Remus entered his room and closed the door behind him, leaning back heavily on its surface for a moment. When did I become the official problem solver of the Order? He shook his head because even as the thought occurred to him, he already knew the answer. Until James, Sirius and Peter figured out the real reason for Remus' monthly disappearances, Remus was certain to keep himself to himself. The best way of focusing attention elsewhere was to listen to others and he became an expert. Pushing himself off the door and stripping off his clothing as he walked to the bathroom, Remus realized that he'd never thought he'd be anyone's resident Agony Aunt. Turned out he was wrong.

Standing under the shower, Remus reflected on the conversations with both Harry and Sirius. Harry, as usual, surprised him in some ways but not in others. Harry was, in many ways, so young. In others, however, he had been forced to mature quickly. He clung to those he loved and was fiercely loyal to them. Remus could clearly see how much it pained Harry to admit his frustration with Sirius. Painful but healthy. Harry loved his Godfather deeply – this, Remus knew. The appearance of a Godmother, though, was a huge shock to the boy. Remus had observed Harry when the entire Weasley family was at Headquarters. There were times when Harry's face was a study in longing – not for Molly as an individual, but for a mother figure of his own. Remus finished his shower and turned off the water. As he reached for a towel, he thought of Kate. She was the perfect person to fill Harry's need for a mother. She had loved him on sight the day he was born and, as the baby grew, he had loved her in return. Remus closed his eyes and his mind was full of the image of Kate holding the tousle-haired, green-eyed infant in her arms as he shrieked with laughter every time she tickled his sides or made amusing faces at him. "K," he would shout, not quite able to say her name properly. But "K" couldn't have cared less about what her Godson called her; she loved him and answered to whatever name he managed to come up with. When Harry called, Kate was there for him and Remus knew that this was something she would welcome in her life again. And then, of course, there was Sirius. Remus sighed as he returned to his room to dress. Sirius was so fearful of losing Harry's love and respect, his insecurity was enough to undo all the good Kate's presence and attention had done over the past weeks. Remus recalled both Harry and Sirius' version of the events that had transpired last night and he knew there was something missing. It was very unlike Kate to break a promise – particularly to Sirius, therefore something had to have compelled her to enter the library and reveal herself to Harry as she had done. As Remus pulled his jumper over his head, he sighed again. They were quickly approaching a time when the War would require them to be completely united to face and defeat Voldemort. He sincerely hoped that all the internal strife could be resolved before that time arrived. Thinking of the war effort, he turned to his desk and gathered together the reports he needed to complete for Dumbledore, with whom he would be speaking before tomorrow night's Order meeting. Satisfied he had everything with him, Remus left the room, quietly closing the door behind him. Before making his way downstairs, he glanced toward the room shared by Harry and Ron. The door was closed and no light was visible beneath it. Remus nodded to himself, hoping the boy had been able to relax and get some much needed rest after their earlier conversation.

Remus entered the library and strode purposefully over to the large desk – Sirius' late father's pride and joy – and settled himself down to work. Lighting the tall candles with a wave of his wand, Remus was soon lost in the task at hand. An hour later, he was startled by the sound of a cough from the other side of the large room. Drawing his wand, Remus slowly and quietly rose from his seat and made his way over toward the fireplace. Before he could fully investigate, however, Kate stood, groaning as she stretched muscles that had become cramped from the unnatural position in which she had slept.

"Kate!" Remus exclaimed. "You startled me."

Kate jumped at the deep voice behind her then settled a bit when she recognized Remus. "Sorry," she said, her voice hoarse from sleep. "I didn't know anyone else was here."

"You were here all night, I take it," Remus said, gesturing toward the chair.

"Part of it, anyway," she responded, tightening the tie of her robe and moving away from the chair. "Have you seen Sirius this morning?" Kate asked, turning to face Remus, who had moved to lean against the mantel.

"Yes, quite a bit earlier," he responded. "And Harry earlier than that." Remus watched her face carefully as he spoke.

Kate nodded her expression sad. "I'm torn between asking what you know and giving you a break. You seem to be doing more than your fair share of troubleshooting these days."

Remus smiled softly. "I've never minded being an ear for my friends' problems – you know that. Considering the fact that I never believed I'd ever have friends like I do, I'd be pretty ungrateful to complain, wouldn't I?"

Kate returned his smile. "I'm not so sure I'd agree with that, but I know that I'm grateful for you – and not just because you let me cry on your shoulder. You're really my best friend, Remus; you're a good man."

Remus felt himself blushing and reached over to take Kate's hand. "Come on, friend, let's sit down and you can give me the details from your perspective."

As they approached the sofa, Kate caught her breath sharply as she noted something on the floor in front of her. She bent to pick it up and felt her heart constrict when she confirmed that it was, indeed, what she had first thought it to be. Charred 'round the edges with almost half the image burned away, Kate found herself staring at the picture of Sirius and her that had been the first image she'd placed in his photo album. Other than some charring to the very edge of Sirius' image, his half was intact; very little of her own face remained in the photo, however and Kate felt her eyes fill with tears.

"What is it?" Remus asked.

Kate sat down heavily on the sofa and, without looking up, passed Remus what was left of the photo. She heard his soft gasp.

"How did this happen?" he asked, his voice incredulous. "Kate, this is one of the photos you put in Sirius' album, isn't it?"

Kate nodded. "Yes," she said, her voice tight. "It was the first one." She drew a deep breath. "Harry and Sirius were looking at the album last night, so I'm sure it was fine then."

"Did you hear anyone come into the room this morning?" Remus asked her.

Kate shook her head. "I never heard a thing. You were here when I woke up and I hadn't awakened at all before then." She paused, collecting herself, and then turned to her friend. "Obviously, you know what happened here last night and that Sirius was very upset with me." At Remus' nod, she continued. "Did he give you any indication that he could have been angry enough to do this?!"

Remus stopped and considered his answer. Was Sirius angry enough to intentionally burn Kate out of a photo of them as a couple? Somehow, as angry as Sirius had been in the kitchen earlier this morning, Remus doubted it. The sound of someone clearing his throat stopped Remus from giving Kate an answer. Kate and Remus both turned around and were startled to see Harry standing just inside the library door.

"I'm sorry," Harry said. "I wanted to return something and … well, I heard you talking and didn't want you to think I was eavesdropping. Sorry, Kate," Harry said, his face turning pink.

Kate gave Harry a small smile. "No apology needed, Harry. You did what I should have done."

"Come in," Remus invited and Harry walked over to Sirius' chair, sitting on the edge of the cushion.

Harry had obviously just gotten out of the shower as his hair was still wet. He was wearing jeans and a hooded sweatshirt with a large pouch-like pocket in front. His head was down and his hands were fiddling with something in that pocket.

"Harry," Remus spoke first. "What is it that you wanted to return?"

Harry looked up – not at Remus but at the picture he held in his hand. "Sirius didn't burn that individual picture," he said softly.

"How do you know that, Harry?" Kate asked.

"Because…" Harry paused then slowly withdrew his hand from his pocket. Kate and Remus both inhaled sharply when they saw what was clutched in his fist.

"Harry, that's …" Kate began, eyes widening as she saw the condition of the album.

"the photo album Sirius and I were looking at last night, yeah." Harry looked over at Kate and there was something akin to sympathy in his eyes. "I didn't know that you gave it to him."

Kate nodded. "How did you get it?"

Harry took a deep breath. "I was up early this morning," he paused to glance at Remus, who smiled encouragingly at him. "and Professor Lupin and I had a long talk. When we finished, I had a lot to think about and I decided that I wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep right away. I figured I'd just come in here and sit for awhile, but … well, you were here, instead, Kate – and you were sleeping. I was about to leave, but I heard someone coming. I really didn't want to talk with anyone so I just went over and sat where I couldn't be seen. I figured I'd just wait until they left."

"Who was it, Harry?" asked Remus.

"Sirius," Harry replied. "But he wasn't coming in to sit down. He was looking for something." He lifted the photo album slightly. "This. He found it and picked it up and I thought he was just going to leave, only he didn't. He turned back around and tossed it in the fireplace instead. I'm sorry, Kate," Harry said again.

"It's alright, Harry," Kate whispered.

"That photo must have fallen out when it landed," Remus reasoned.

"After Sirius left, I came over and picked it up. That picture could have fallen out then," Harry said. "I didn't know it was yours, Kate."

Kate shook her head. "It isn't mine, Harry. It belongs to Sirius."

Harry nodded. "That's sort of why I came back here with it. I figured that maybe if Sirius thought things over, he'd realize he was wrong and he'd come back and look for it. I wanted him to be able to find it so he wouldn't feel bad about throwing it on the fire." Harry held the photo album out toward Kate. "Maybe it would be better if I just gave it to you. You could hang onto it and give it to Sirius when you think it's time."

Kate started to shake her head, but then changed her mind. If Sirius was so angry that he'd rather destroy this gift than keep it, she might as well take the photos back. Kate reached for the album. "Thank you, Harry," she said, simply.

He nodded. "I'm going to grab some breakfast," he said. "I'll see you later."

After Harry had gone, Remus touched Kate's shoulder. "Do you want to tell me what happened here last night?" he asked. "I reckon I have 2/3 of the story now and, Kate, I've got a couple of questions for you. There are things about that 2/3 that I don't fully understand."

Kate nodded. "Why I lurked outside the door for as long as I did being one of them, I'd wager."

Remus nodded. "Why don't you go upstairs and get dressed. I'll go downstairs and put something together for breakfast for us both and I'll meet you back here – yes?"

"Thanks, Remus," Kate said, standing. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You are a good friend – to all of us. I'll be back in a bit."

After Kate had left the library, Remus closed his files and piled parchment, ink and quills neatly beside them. As he crossed the room to head down to the kitchen, he promised himself that he would have his questions answered by the time he and Kate finished breakfast. After that, perhaps they could discuss how this whole mess might be resolved – once and for all.


	20. Breakfast and Explanations

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

As Harry walked down the flight of stairs leading to the kitchen, he couldn't decide if he was glad he'd given Kate the photo album or not. On some level, he knew that leaving it for Sirius to find could potentially cause more problems and, ultimately, result in the destruction of those pictures. Overriding everything, though, was the feeling that somehow, those pictures were important to both Kate and Sirius and that one of them should hang onto them until it could all be sorted out. Harry thought about the two of them and the fact that he not only had Sirius, but now a Godmother, as well. If they could work through all the problems, Harry thought, he might have a shot at a normal family – finally. As he approached the kitchen door, however, Harry shook his head. He'd allowed himself to hope for something similar two years ago in the Shrieking Shack, when Pettigrew had been exposed. He'd been disappointed then; he would not set himself up for a similar disappointment now.

As Harry walked into the kitchen, his eyes met Sirius', who had looked up from his plate at the sound of the door.

"Hi," Harry said. When Sirius didn't reply right away, Harry continued, "I was hungry, so I thought I'd get some breakfast."

Sirius jumped up from his chair. "Let me get something for you," he said, anxious for something to do.

Harry shook his head. "That's ok, thanks." He took a banana from the bunch on the counter and turned back to where Sirius was standing in the middle of the room. "Umm, actually, I wondered if we could talk," he said quietly. "There are some things I want to tell you."

Sirius felt his heart sink. This is it. I'm going to lose this boy after all. "Of course, Harry. Let's sit down."

"Not here," Harry said. Sirius' head jerked up at Harry's words.

"I don't have many options, Harry," Sirius said quietly.

Harry blushed. "No, no, I meant that I didn't want to talk here; everybody comes here and I just want it to be us. Could we go sit on the side porch?"

Sirius blinked once then nodded his head. "Let's go."

Soon, Harry and Sirius were seated in conjured chairs in the conservatory, which Harry and the Weasleys had always – amusingly – referred to as "the side porch". Running half the length of one side of the huge house, the exterior wall was a sheet of glass, charmed to allow the occupants to see out to the side gardens and yard, while no one else could see into the house. The room was filled with abandoned, cracked crockery, some of which still contained their original potting soil and the bedraggled remnants of the plants they had once held. A large fireplace had been installed in one section on the interior wall and it was in front of a blazing fire that the two sat, Sirius fearing the worst and Harry uncertain of how to begin.

"Sirius, there's a lot I want to say to you, but I don't know how to do it or where to start. I'm just going to talk and you're just going to have to listen to me and not fly off the handle if it doesn't come out right, ok?" Harry said, watching his Godfather's face carefully.

Sirius closed his eyes for a moment, then looked at Harry and nodded. "Go ahead," he whispered. "I'll do my best to just listen."

Harry took a deep breath. "Look, a lot happened last night and I'm not sure that I understand all of it. I talked with Professor Lupin this morning, and he gave me some stuff to think about. I'm glad he did, but it's not the same as talking to you. I want you to know that I would have gone to you first with this, but since it was kind of about you, I couldn't."

Sirius nodded. "Remus has always been a good listener."

"Yeah, he's helped me a lot," Harry affirmed. "Sirius, about last night. You were so angry when we were looking at those pictures. I don't understand why. And afterward, you were telling me about what happened with the first Order and after, when Voldemort killed my parents and then all the stuff about Kate. Sirius, I've never seen you like that. Well, not since that night in the Shack anyway."

Sirius sighed. "I'm sorry, Harry."

Harry ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "I don't want you to apologize to me, Sirius! That's not what this talk is all about; I want you to explain it to me. Please."

Sirius looked up at Harry, his eyes a sea of emotion. "That's just it, Harry, I don't know if I can explain it all."

"Sirius, you have to try," the boy said, his voice rising. "We have to understand each other and I feel like you spend half your time trying be what you think I need and I spend half of mine trying not to hurt you or make you mad. In the end, we don't get any closer and we don't know each other any better."

Sirius gave Harry the ghost of a smile. "You are such a blend of your parents, Harry. Your father always wanted things to be ok; he didn't like anyone to be at odds with him, but he was willing to wait until the other person was ready to talk before he'd press it. Your mum, on the other hand, wasn't one to sit around and wait. She'd keep pushing until all the problems were out in the open and then she'd prod and poke us all until we fixed them. I can see both of them in you – right now."

"So talk to me, Sirius," Harry said. "I can't fix this without you."

The older man took a deep breath and sat forward in his chair, hands clasped together in front of him and his gaze fixed on his godson's face. He began to speak. "Harry, you asked me to have patience if you said things that didn't come out exactly the way you meant them and now I have to extract that same promise from you." At Harry's nod, Sirius continued. "When you gave me this watch yesterday, I think it unlocked something in my brain because when I opened that box, I could see an image of your father handing me a similar box many years ago." He paused. "Do you know the story of the watch?"

Harry nodded. "A bit. I saw you wearing a watch like this one in some pictures that were taken right after you all graduated from Hogwarts. I hadn't seen you wearing it since you escaped, so I figured it had been lost or taken away from you when everything happened. I asked Remus and he told me that Dad had given it to you for graduation and that you'd never taken it off. He didn't know where it had ended up, though."

Sirius nodded, his gaze fixed on a point just over Harry's shoulder. "The Ministry took it from me the day I was arrested. That and my wand. I suppose my wand was snapped in two; I'll wager the watch went to some guard who scratched off the inscription and wore it – or sold it. They wouldn't have been planning to give it back to me, at any rate."

"I didn't think it was fair that you lost it and I thought I'd try to find another one if I could. And I did," Harry said.

"Yes, you did. I'm very grateful, Harry. But seeing this again – sort of – caused all these images of your father and mother, Remus, Pettigrew and Kate to surface in my head. Nothing whole or clear – just pieces, feelings. Kate had given me the photo album earlier in the day, so maybe the memories started sparking around then, I don't know. After everyone retired for the night, I found that I couldn't sleep so I came down to the library – with the photographs – to just think. Half memories, some less than that started coming into my head. The fear we all had in the days of the first War, the suspicion that ran through everyone in our group, I began to experience all of it again." Sirius refocused his gaze to Harry's face. "By the time you came in, I was starting to work myself up into quite a state and I don't seem to be able to stop myself once that starts. And whether or not you want to hear this, I am sorry, Harry, that I'm not better able to control myself when that happens."

"I know, Sirius," Harry reassured him. "You'll get better, I know you will."

Sirius smiled softly. "Maybe. I promise you that I'll try."

Harry looked at Sirius. "Do you think I blame you for my parents' death?"

Sirius sat bolt upright in his chair, his eyes wide. He opened and closed his mouth several times, but couldn't immediately reply; Harry's candor had stunned him.

Harry shifted nervously in his chair. "See, every time you get like that it's because something has happened to remind you of them. You talked about it last night – about how you 'handed them over'…"

Sirius made to stand, but Harry reached over and put his hand on his arm. "Don't," he said. "Please, just sit here and talk to me."

Sirius inhaled a shaky breath, but stayed where he was. "Harry," he said after a time. "I've had enough time away from Azkaban to realize that I didn't actually kill James and Lily. That blame rests with Pettigrew. I can't, however, get over the guilt I feel at making it possible for him to hand them to Voldemort. I was so blind. Every time I see you, I remember those times and I can't help but feel responsible for the fact that you never knew your own parents. My ego and lack of objectivity made me do something I will regret for the rest of my life."

"Sirius, I don't blame you for anything that happened back then." Harry said. "How can I? You were just trying to do what you thought was best to save them – and me. If you had known what Pettigrew was planning, you'd never have changed Secret Keepers. I know that. You have to stop beating yourself up over this."

Sirius felt his throat tighten and saw his vision blur as he heard Harry's words. Stop it! He admonished himself. Do not lose it in front of Harry again. But no sooner had the words crossed his mind than he felt the hot tears slide down his cheeks and splash onto his clasped hands. Soon, his shoulders were shaking uncontrollably and he was bent almost completely forward, his hair shielding his face from view. Harry's absolution was something he had desperately needed to hear; even though he knew his Godson loved him, he craved verbalization of his forgiveness. Now that it had been given to him, Sirius found that he could not control the emotion it provoked. Suddenly, Sirius became aware of a light weight circling his shoulders and he turned to see Harry perched on the wide arm of the conjured chair, his arm resting across Sirius' back. Harry patted Sirius' shoulder awkwardly, attempting to give the older man some comfort – much in the same way Sirius had comforted him the night that Arthur Weasley had been attacked. Under the weight of Harry's reassurances, Sirius began to pull himself together and, after a time, he ran his hands over his face to clear the moisture from his cheeks. When Harry saw that his Godfather was calmer, he resumed his seat in front of him.

"Harry," Sirius began. "I…"

"I know," Harry said. "It's ok. I just wanted you to hear the words. I figured you had to know I didn't hate you; but I wanted you to hear that I didn't – I don't blame you at all. I still have some questions, though, if I can ask them."

Sirius nodded. "Go on."

Harry reached down and picked up a piece of a clay pot that lay on the floor near his chair. Fidgeting with its edges, he thought about what he wantet to ask his Godfather. He also thought about the burned photo album, seeing Sirius toss it into the fireplace and his own subsequent retrieval and return of the book to Kate. Harry shook his head slightly and decided to deal with simpler issues first. Maybe it wasn't up to him to approach Sirius about the photos. At any rate, he was nervous enough about what he was going to talk about without adding anything else. Having reached his decision, Harry looked up at Sirius. "I want to know why you didn't tell me about Kate. I know what she told me. I want to know why you didn't want to."

It was Sirius' turn to fidget in his chair. "It's not that I didn't want you to know about Kate, Harry," he began. "It's just that I didn't want to add any more stress to your life than you were already subjected to. You haven't had an easy time of it over the past year, really and I thought that it was best to wait – not to add one more item to the list of things you had to deal with."

Harry looked puzzled. "But, Sirius, why would finding out I had a Godmother be stressful? Didn't you think I'd be happy to know that I had more family than I thought?"

Sirius sighed. "But you would have wondered why I didn't tell you before," he said softly. "Harry, I was afraid that you would think I'd betrayed you by withholding the truth. It's selfish, I know, but I didn't want you to think I was like all the others – Dumbledore, Molly, even Remus – who didn't think you were mature enough to handle it."

"But you wound up doing just what they've been doing," Harry reasoned, but there was no anger or recrimination in his voice – just confusion.

"I know," Sirius said. "I can't explain it. Remus – and Kate – think I acted as I did because of my guilt about your parents. That I wanted to be the only one to take care of you – the only parent-figure you had – because that's what I promised your parents I'd do. I bollixed that up good and proper in the first War, so I wanted to make good on the promise now."

"And Kate agreed?" Harry said.

"Reluctantly – and in a manner of speaking. We had several rows about it, actually, but we'd agreed on a compromise and things got easier," Sirius replied. "Of course, the compromise didn't hold," he finished, his voice bitter.

"You mean last night," Harry said. At Sirius' nod, Harry asked, "What was the compromise?"

"We were going to wait until after Christmas, closer to the time you were going back to school, and then tell you together," Sirius told him.

"But, Sirius, you had the chance to sit down with her last night and tell me with her," Harry said. "Why didn't you?"

Sirius sighed. "It's complicated, Harry. We hadn't worked anything out, hadn't really talked about it. Kate just came into the middle of our conversation and told you herself. I was upset about everything else we'd discussed and I wasn't prepared for her to do what she did." He was thoughtful for a moment, then looked at Harry directly again. "Harry, none of that has anything to do with you. Kate and I are a separate issue."

It was Harry's turn to sigh. "Sirius, I know you're angry with her, but I really want to get to know her better. I feel disloyal to you for wanting that and I hate feeling this way. She's my Godmother, Sirius – just as you're my Godfather. Kate's part of my past. I don't know how I feel about her as a person, but I do know that I want the chance to get to know her – just as I've had the chance to know you. I'm just afraid that it will hurt you – that I'll feel like I have to choose…" Harry was cut off as Sirius knelt in front of him and took his shaking hands in his own.

"Harry, please," he said softly, remembering the words Remus had said to him earlier that morning. "I would never make you choose. Lily and James made Kate your Godmother just as they asked me to be your Godfather. You deserve to know us both, despite anything that might be going on between the two of us. You won't be hurting me by spending time with Kate, Harry. You're not disloyal. I love you and want you to be happy. Whatever I might feel for Kate, whatever I might think of anything she's done, she is your Godmother and I know that she wants to get to know you as well. Don't stay away from her because you think that's what will make me happy. It won't – because it will make you miserable." Sirius squeezed Harry's hands in his own, larger ones. "Spend some time with her this week. You and I will still have time together, as well. Really, it's ok." Sirius finished speaking, watching Harry's face closely. When the boy nodded slightly, he rose. "Perhaps we should get back inside, now. I'm sure Molly's up and probably has a proper breakfast going. That banana can't have done much to fill you up," he said.

As Sirius moved toward the double glass doors, he was stopped by Harry's hand on his arm. When he turned, Sirius found himself wrapped in a tight embrace as Harry's moist cheek brushed against his own. Sirius returned Harry's hug, rocking back and forth gently until he felt Harry's breathing calm a bit. Harry took a step back and wiped his face on his sleeve. Looking at his Godfather, he said, "I love you, Sirius and I could never choose against you. Thank you for not making me choose against Kate, either."

Sirius smiled shakily and nodded. "Come on," he said. "Let's go get you some food."

With his arm around Harry's shoulders, the two made their way inside the house, each lost in their own thoughts.


	21. Sad Realizations and Painful Decisions

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Kate made it back to her room without seeing anyone, for which she was grateful. Had she seen Sirius in the hallway, she was uncertain what she might have said or done after last night. She selected clothing for the day and went into the bathroom to shower. Ten minutes later, Kate was standing in front of the mirror in her room, applying makeup. Her thoughts turned to the night before and the decision she made in the hallway outside the library that had led to Harry's discovery of who she was to him. Kate sighed. Their relationship was in yet another downward spin. More than that, actually, if he had reached the point where he would burn his Christmas gift. But that was certainly only a "heat of the moment" action, she reasoned with herself. He was angry with her because she had revealed herself to Harry without prior discussion. He was also furious that she had eavesdropped at the door and to that Kate had no defense and she knew it. But over the years, they had had arguments when one or both of them had reached the end of their respective ropes and, after time to cool off, they had been able to reason with each other and work through the conflict. Most often, they had come out stronger than before. Although there was a niggling sense of doubt in the back of her mind, Kate resolutely pushed it back, preferring the believe that if she could sit down with Sirius and rationally discuss why she had told Harry who she was, things would go back to the way they'd been over the past few weeks. With that in mind, Kate went back down to the library to meet with Remus.

The werewolf was waiting for her when Kate arrived and the smell of coffee floated across the room to her. She sat down across from him and gratefully accepted a steaming mug. They ate the toast and fruit that Remus had brought with him and had just poured a second cup of coffee when he spoke.

"Ready to talk?" he asked, settling back into the deep cushions of the sofa.

Kate nodded and took a deep breath. "Remus, last night, we went upstairs not long after the party ended and a short while later, I woke up alone. I knew something must have happened and I decided to see if I could find Sirius. I started with the library because I thought perhaps the watch had awakened memories of James and he would return there to think. I was right. What I hadn't counted on, however, was Harry being with him. Harry had just noticed the photo album and I heard him ask Sirius about it. He began to look at the pictures and I heard Harry say my name. I know that it was wrong, but Remus, I couldn't make myself leave. I heard Harry ask Sirius about our relationship in school and afterward and it seemed to touch something off in him. Sirius began to speak of things that happened so long ago. He was remembering the first War, the suspicion and the fact that there was a spy in our ranks. It didn't take long for Sirius to begin to spiral. Harry's questions about me became more specific and I knew he was starting to put it all together. I was afraid he was just going to blurt it out and Sirius was in no frame of mind to deal with it."

"But, Kate, didn't you do the same thing?" Remus asked her. "Didn't you blurt it out to Harry?"

Kate looked at Remus, her eyes wide. "No, Remus. I couldn't be certain that Harry would pursue the question with me." Kate paused then continued, her voice more than a little bitter. "After all, we barely know each other. It seemed much more likely that he would continue to pursue the matter with Sirius." She looked up at Remus and shrugged her shoulders. "Sorry. Sometimes, it just…never mind." Kate gave the werewolf a rueful look then went on, "As much as I wanted him to know, I also wanted to honor the agreement I'd made with Sirius. Whatever he may think; whatever he may have told you – I do not break promises lightly. That said, as I told you – Harry was starting to put it together. He told me that he knew there was something going on that he wasn't being told and asked me to tell him what was being withheld. I looked to Sirius for direction, but he didn't answer Harry; he just turned away and sat in front of the fire. I confirmed everything Sirius had told him – how no one had intentionally withheld information from him or deceived him. He asked me why I hadn't told him I was his Godmother and I repeated what Sirius had said before – that Harry had been through enough and no one wanted to add any more stress to his life right now. Before I said anything, I looked to Sirius, but he never moved, never said a word – to Harry or to me. Remus, you have to believe that I didn't do anything deliberately deceitful."

Remus looked at Kate for some time, then said, "Except listen at the door instead of revealing yourself to them."

Kate stood and walked over to the window. "Yes, you've made that point and I've acknowledged that it was a lousy thing to do. I can apologize for it but I can't undo it. It's certainly not the worst thing I did last night," she finished turning back to him.

"What was?" he asked, curiously.

"I wasn't completely honest with Harry, but I couldn't have been without hurting Sirius. All of the reasons I gave Harry for keeping quiet were certainly true. Sirius and I discussed things and, although you know I didn't agree with him, he felt that Harry had gone through more than enough disruption and stress so far this year without adding more to it. He also was very much afraid that Harry would resent him for keeping the information to himself. That he would see it as Sirius betraying him just as he betrayed and let down James and Lily," Kate said. "Remus, I didn't tell Harry the true reason that Sirius didn't want him to know; I didn't tell him the truth because Sirius didn't want him to know. And in so doing, I tagged myself with the same sin Sirius was afraid Harry would accuse him of committing – withholding information."

Remus sighed. "I'm not sure that Sirius would agree with you that there was a bigger sin than telling Harry who you are. He's furious, Kate. Beyond any fury I've seen him direct toward anything other than Pettigrew."

Kate returned to her seat. "Remus, I only answered Harry's question. I didn't show him the photo album. I didn't talk about our times in school and how he and I were together back then – and afterward. I didn't lead him down a road that would prompt the question. Harry asked and I answered. There was no time for me to get Sirius' approval with Harry sitting right there. Surely, if I can explain this to Sirius, he will understand."

Remus shook his head sadly. "I don't think so Kate. He's gotten it into his head that you purposefully listened outside that door for an opportunity to disclose your identity to Harry. He feels that you betrayed his trust as you and he had agreed to tell Harry together before he left to go back to Hogwarts. He sees it very differently than you and I do."

Kate felt herself begin to shake. She remembered her earlier thoughts when she was alone in her room. How foolish and shortsighted she was to think that just because they had reestablished physical intimacy and had begun to forge a new relationship that Sirius would trust her enough to know she wouldn't intentionally go against his wishes just for the sake of achieving what she wanted with Harry. "He won't believe anything I tell him, will he?" she whispered, turning horrified eyes to Remus. "I was so sure that I'd just have to explain everything to him and while he might need some time to get over it, in the end he'd be fine. We'd be fine. Burning that album wasn't just a momentary act of rage."

"Kate, there are so many pieces to this thing and so many emotions that I think Sirius is overwhelmed. Without this latest situation, he needed to come to terms with the loss of so many memories and the process and time it would take to get them back – if he even could. Now, he has this to deal with. I think he needs time." Remus leaned across the table and took her hands. "You know that Sirius was never the most completely emotionally stable of individuals – even in school. He flew off the handle easily and fiercely. He was quick to anger, particularly if someone he loved had been hurt or treated unfairly, in his opinion. Sirius' anger is his first defense against being hurt; his first reaction to being hurt. I don't know how long he'll need to come to terms with and accept what's happened." Remus reached up and cupped Kate's chin, bringing her gaze up to meet his own. "In addition to what's happened between the two of you, there are issues – long unresolved issues – that Sirius needs to work out with Harry. Both of them realize this." At Kate's nod, Remus sat back and continued. "Although, I will tell you that I think the two of them may have already begun their discussions. As I was leaving the kitchen, Sirius and Harry came in and they both looked like they'd had a fairly emotional time of it. I hadn't expected them to talk so quickly, but perhaps the time just presented itself." Remus mused.

"Did they look ok with one another? Did it appear that they'd resolved whatever they had between them?" Kate asked, concerned that emotions could again escalate out of control for them both.

Remus smiled softly at his friend. "I thought so. When I left, Sirius was letting Molly make them both a bit of breakfast and he and Harry were sitting together at the table."

Kate nodded. "Good. At least some of the conflict is out of the way." She looked over at Remus. "I'm not sure what to do next," she confessed. "It seems that Sirius and I are constantly swinging from the highest of highs to the lowest of depths; we have absolutely no balance at all."

"I think that must be what Sirius' emotions are like most of the time," Remus offered. "If his reality was always a bit off kilter in school, imagine what 12 years in Azkaban have done. I'm not making excuses for him – far from it, but I think the effects of that time have infiltrated his person and cause him to see things from the worst possible perspective. I think balance is fairly elusive for him – at least right now. Perhaps it will change. In time."

Kate nodded and reached for her coffee, which Remus kindly warmed again with a wave of his hand. As she grasped the handle of the mug, the light caught the promise ring on her finger and her heart constricted in her chest. Replacing the mug on the table, Kate looked up at Remus and then down at her hand again; he followed her gaze.

"I wonder if he'll regret this now," she said softly, her voice breaking slightly.

Remus covered her hand with his. "I don't think it will do either of you any good to think like that," he said gently. "You don't know what the long range repercussions of last night will be and I'll wager that Sirius doesn't, either. Besides, you need to remember that Harry's going to be here only for a short time before he heads back to Hogwarts. You'll have some time to really get to know him; perhaps that should be the focus for you right now."

Kate nodded and accepted his handkerchief gratefully. After she'd dried her eyes, she sat quietly for a few moments then spoke again. "I feel as if we're at a crossroads, Sirius and I," she smiled sadly. "I know it sounds clichéd, but it feels as if we are going in totally opposite directions down two horribly damaged roads. I can't help but think that perhaps we were perfect for each other long ago when we were both different people. Now, we're both so changed and perhaps the people we've become don't belong together at all. And I don't have any idea about what to do or what to say that won't make the situation worse."

"He loves you, Kate," Remus replied.

Kate shook her head. "He burned my pictures, Remus. He walked out on me last night with more cold anger in his eyes than I've seen there in a long time. Based on what you've told me, that anger – fury – is still very much present. I don't think either of us can honestly or realistically say that Sirius feels any love for me right now."

Remus drew a deep breath. "What are you going to do?"

Kate shrugged. "For now? Give him as wide a berth as I can. Let him come to me, if he does. 'Stay the course', as they say – until I can't stand it anymore. Then, I'll figure out a new plan. I think you're right, though. If Sirius will let me, I'd like to spend some time with Harry over the next week or so and not let all of this spoil what's left of his holiday. When he returns to school, we'll see what happens. I may very easily discover that without intending to do so, I have gained my Godson at the cost of my relationship with Sirius."

As Remus picked up their breakfast tray and prepared to bring it back to the kitchen, Kate stopped him. "I have to ask. You do believe that I didn't set up the whole thing last night so I could finally tell Harry that I'm his Godmother, don't you?"

Remus smiled. "Yes, I believe you. I think that eavesdropping on them was exceedingly bad judgment, but I don't think you intended things to play out as they did."

"Well," Kate said, opening the door for him. "at least I have that."


	22. Tempers Flare

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Sirius and Harry spent the majority of Boxing Day together – talking, playing Wizard's Chess or just sitting quietly. Kate kept to herself, allowing Sirius the distance he so obviously needed after their most recent falling out. As much as Kate longed to approach Sirius and attempt to clear the air, she was determined not to force his hand. With Remus and the Weasleys in residence and Order members coming and going throughout the day and evening, it was relatively easy to maneuver through meals and find someone to talk to during other times of the day. Kate was hopeful that the rift between Sirius and her was not obvious to anyone who did not know about what had transpired between them.

At the end of the day, Kate found herself in the library with some folders she'd brought from the Ministry when she'd left on holiday. Sirius and Harry were wrapping up their latest Wizard Chess contest, which had ended in a draw. As Kate tried to focus on the parchment in front of her, she felt someone watching her and, looking up, she met a pair of brilliant green eyes behind dark-rimmed spectacles. Harry had come to sit in the chair opposite where Kate was sitting.

"Hi," he said, somewhat shyly.

"Hello, yourself," Kate responded. "What can I do for you?" She put the parchment inside the folder and closed it.

"I was wondering if you were busy tomorrow," Harry responded. "I thought we could talk or something…umm…if you're not doing anything. But if you're busy – working or anything…"

Kate put an end to his misery, smiling warmly at the young wizard. "I'm not doing anything and I'd love to spend some time talking…or something. Maybe we could go out to lunch, if you'd like."

Harry smiled back at her, nerves seemingly under control now. "Yeah, that'd be great. We can work it out in the morning, right?"

"Absolutely," Kate agreed. "I have an Order meeting tomorrow night, so we should probably plan to leave here around noon so we have enough time and I'm not back too late. We'll work out the rest of it tomorrow."

Harry nodded and rose from his seat. As Kate followed his progress to the door, her eyes met Sirius', who was watching the whole scene from the fireplace, where he leaned against the mantel. "Thank you," Kate mouthed. Sirius' cold gaze never wavered and he gave no response. Rather, he turned to the doorway and called a warm good night to Harry who responded in kind.

"Good night, Kate," Harry was speaking to her.

Kate roused herself. "'night, Harry," she said. "Sleep well."

With a wave, the teenager left the room and headed up the staircase.

Kate looked down at the folder in her lap and sighed. "Fury", indeed. For the next half hour, Kate focused on the report in front of her, doing her best to tune out all other distractions until a gruff voice, shouting her name brought her out of her thoughts with a jump. She looked up to see Mad Eye Moody standing in front of the fireplace, face flushed and mouth fixed in a snarl. His magical eye was aimed directly at her and Kate felt as if it could see inside her head, as well.

"I'm sorry, Moody. What is it?" Kate tried to keep the tremor out of her voice. The man had always made her just a bit nervous, although she knew that he had a good heart and cared deeply for the safety of everyone with whom he served – and those he protected.

"Are yeh daft, girl? Taking Potter out tomorrow? How do yeh know ye'll be safe?" he growled.

Kate took a breath and closed her files to give herself some time to calmly formulate a response. As she fixed her attention on the former Auror, she noted that Sirius was standing almost at his elbow, watching her intently. Ah, Kate thought. Moody's source of information. That realization touched off a spark of anger that began to do a slow burn inside of Kate as she turned her attention back to Moody.

"Mad Eye, really," Kate said. "I'm not marching him through Knockturn Alley at midnight! Give me some credit; I'm not stupid. I'm also a very experienced Auror. I'm confident that I can keep Harry safe." There. Take that!

"And just where are yeh takin' him, lass?" Moody challenged.

"To London," Kate said, defiantly. "Muggle London. That's as specific as I'm going to get – with anyone! And if I see anything suspicious or have even one uncomfortable feeling, we'll leave." She bent to pick up her files and faced Moody once again. "Anything else?" she asked.

Moody gazed at her for a long moment, then shook his head. "Just remember, lass…Constant…"

"Vigilance," Kate finished. "You have nothing to worry about. Harry will be safe with me."

Kate began to walk toward the door and, as she passed Sirius she stopped. The spark had turned into a flame that Kate could no longer contain. Sirius' cold, fixed stare had not wavered and she had reached her limit for the evening. She took a breath and stared determinedly back into those icy blue eyes. "The next time you want information about anything to do with me OR something I'm doing with Harry, be a man and ask me yourself," Kate gritted out. "Don't have Mad Eye do your dirty work for you! It's beneath you and we both deserve better!" and with that, she left the room, slamming the door behind her. Once in the cool safety of the hallway, Kate leaned against the door and took several deep breaths. She realized that her comments to Sirius had been inflammatory and not in keeping with her plan to "give him a wide berth", but she just couldn't take his cold, silent stare and not-so-subtle manipulations where Harry was concerned. How on earth was she to establish a relationship with Harry with Sirius looming over them like some great vulture? Kate resolved to stay out of his way for the rest of Harry's holiday – even if it meant spending less time at Grimmauld Place. With that thought in mind, Kate made her way quickly up the stairs and down the hallway to her room.

Back in the library, Remus sat, unmoving in his chair, awaiting the explosion from Sirius that he was sure would follow Kate's remark. To his shock, Sirius said nothing. While Remus could see that he was shaking and his face had gone white, he kept resolutely silent. After several long moments, Sirius took a deep breath and tersely announced that he was going to retire for the night then did so, exiting the library without further comment.

Moody and Remus exchanged a look of surprise, but said nothing. Gradually, Remus went back to his newspaper, while Moody remained standing, looking into the fire.

"I'm not keen on being put in the middle of couples fightin', Remus," Mad Eye muttered suddenly, breaking the silence in the room.

"No, I can't imagine you are," Remus agreed. "What did he tell you when he asked you to come over?" It was a pure guess, but Remus somehow felt he might be on track with it.

Moody turned around. "Sent me an owl. Asked me about putting a security detail on Potter for tomorrow."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "I had a feeling Sirius didn't really go to the restroom after Harry went off to bed," he commented wryly.

"Do I need to know about this?" Moody asked.

Remus shook head. "No, Mad Eye, you don't; not yet anyway. See you tomorrow evening, yes?"

"Yeah," the older man said, picking up his walking stick and stumping across the floor, heading for the hallway.

Remus shook his head as he heard the front door close – quietly. Even Mad Eye Moody had respect for the vocal talents of Walburga Black's portrait. He thought of Sirius and his latest dig at Kate. "Padfoot, what in hell are you thinking?" he muttered, waving his wand at the candles. As the room was shrouded in darkness, Remus, himself, headed up to bed.

The following morning found the occupants of Grimmauld Place eating one of Molly's more elaborate breakfasts – with one notable exception…the Master of the house had not yet appeared. Harry and Kate had their heads together at one end of the table, talking quietly about their plans for the day. They decided to have lunch at a small delicatessen, and then take in a movie at a nearby Muggle cinema. It had been ages since Kate had been to a movie and probably longer for Harry, given the Dursleys' propensity to exclude him from absolutely everything involving fun. Molly took advantage of Sirius' absence to cluck a bit over the potential danger involved in Harry leaving Grimmauld Place. Dumbledore, while somewhat concerned, had confidence in Kate's abilities to protect the boy and Kate thought that it was probably only his approval that kept Molly from forcibly restraining Harry from leaving the Black residence. What Kate did not know was that the Headmaster had arranged for several Order members to provide an inconspicuous security detail, with orders to operate under "Disillusionment" charms – frequently renewed – to avoid detection. Hestia Jones, Emmeline Vance, Tonks and Mad Eye Moody, himself would augment Kate's superior skills in keeping Harry safe – while blissfully unaware of their presence. Remus would stay behind and manage Sirius who, he imagined, would work himself into a state of agitation until Harry was once again under the roof of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Privately, Remus couldn't decide whether he'd rather face an afternoon of Sirius' steadily declining mood or the risk of incurring Kate's wrath if and when she discovered Dumbledore's little troop of "security guards". He smiled to himself. It would almost be worth it to have the chance to see her reaction first-hand…as long as he wasn't on the wrong end of her wand when she discovered them.

Kate wrapped up the remaining casework she'd opened the previous evening and at noon, she made her way back downstairs to meet up with Harry. As she closed the door to her room and turned toward the stairs, Kate narrowly avoided colliding with Sirius who was making his own way down the hall, heading in the opposite direction. As each attempted to resume their progress, they kept moving in the same direction, continuing to block the other's path. After several false starts, Sirius gave a huff of frustrated disgust and reached out toward Kate. Clasping her shoulders firmly, he muttered, "Stay put," then released her and stepped to one side. Kate gritted her teeth and resumed her walk to the staircase, still feeling the heat of Sirius' grasp. Although she had the feeling he was watching her, Kate refused to look back at him and continued toward the first floor – and the hallway where her Godson was waiting for her.

As she approached the first floor landing, Kate paused, took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. She wanted to make sure that no irritation was visible to Harry when she greeted him. Kate turned the corner at the foot of the stairs and was greeted by the smiling face of her Godson, who was early – and waiting by the front door.

"Ready?" Kate asked him and, at his nod, moved toward the door. Harry was quick to open it for her, allowing her to pass before walking through the doorway himself. Kate smiled to herself. How many times had she witnessed James do the same thing for Lily? And, although the fiercely independent redhead would sometimes scold by saying that she wasn't a helpless female and could open doors for herself, Kate knew that she was secretly pleased that he would think to show her that courtesy. As Harry closed the door behind him, he didn't notice his Godfather watching from the staircase, a deep frown fixed on his face.

"You wouldn't be eavesdropping, would you, Padfoot?" Remus hoarse voice floated from the hallway below as he made his way from the kitchens. Although Remus knew he probably shouldn't tweak Sirius' nose with the comment, his friend's complete unwillingness to even hear Kate's side of the story seemed to compel him to act more rashly than he normally did.

Sirius jumped at the sound of the werewolf's voice, but narrowed his eyes at Remus' comment. "I seem to remember that the only directive I got from you was to give Harry his Godmother, which I have done. I am not eavesdropping, Remus. I was making sure that he got on his way alright."

"Actually, Sirius, I seem to recall suggesting that you give Harry his Godmother without guilt or animosity. Everything about you has fairly screamed animosity every time you and Kate are in the same room. I think we both agree that Harry isn't stupid. Eventually, he's going to catch onto your mood. Wouldn't it be a pity to undo all the progress you've made with him just to continually reinforce your anger to Kate?" Remus paused. "Because believe me, Padfoot, Kate already knows you're angry with her. We all do. That stunt with Moody last night even brought him into the picture."

"That stunt last night got Harry a security detail," Sirius growled.

"No, Sirius, Dumbledore arranged for the security detail. Your stunt was never intended to do that. You wanted someone to thwart Kate's efforts to spend time with Harry. Oh – you'll let Harry have time with her – on your terms, which means here, in this house, where you can watch over them. I'm glad that's not happening. Sirius, please, I don't want to argue with you every time we're together, but I beg of you – if you no longer care about Kate, think of Harry. Think of your relationship with him and do nothing to jeopardize it. If you try to drive a wedge between them through your actions whilst telling Harry that you support their relationship, you'll lose him, too. He trusts you, Sirius. Don't throw that away the way you're pushing Kate out of your life. You're going to end up being very lonely if you do."

Sirius shoved his hands deep in the pockets of his robes. "Mooney, you keep going on about how I'm pushing Kate away and I'm unjustifiably angry with her. Did you ever stop to think about how it feels for me to realize that she didn't love me enough to stick to our plan? That she didn't trust in what we had mutually agreed to do regarding telling Harry who she was? I don't think she really cares for me quite the way you think she does," he said quietly, his voice holding traces of both grief and bitterness.

Remus sighed in exasperation. "The two of you will be the death of me at this rate," he bit out. "Look, Sirius, she doesn't think you love her; you don't think she loves you. Don't you think that for the sake of accuracy, expediency and your mutual sanity that sitting down and talking this out would be the best course of action?"

Sirius shook his head and turned to go back up the stairs. "She betrayed my trust, Mooney. Something made her do that. 'Talking this out' isn't going to change that. I don't know what will."

Remus watched him go. "Stubborn git," he muttered. It was going to be a damnably long afternoon.


	23. Godmothers, Godsons and Order Meetings

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

When Kate and Harry walked through the magical wall of Diagon Alley and into Muggle London, Kate had a sense of the surreal. Once, long ago, she and this boy's mother had taken turns pushing an old fashioned pram along this very route, "airing" an infant Harry. Kate chuckled softly as they walked along. Merlin, that was a fun day!

"Kate?" Harry's voice brought her back to the present. "Did I miss something?"

Kate smiled over at the boy. "Well, you didn't exactly miss it, but you probably don't remember it." At Harry's politely puzzled expression, Kate laughed a bit then shared her story. "When you were – oh, about 3 weeks old, your mum got the idea that you needed to be "aired". It's a rather quaint and old-fashioned term that means, basically, taking a very young infant out for his or her first walk in the fresh air. Now, your father thought that meant taking you along with him – and Sirius – to a Quidditch game. Two birds – one stone, you see. They'd get to do what they wanted to do for themselves and they'd get to introduce you to the 'manly sport of Quidditch', as I believe James put it. Manners forbid me telling you exactly what Lily said in reply, but let's just say that she and I spent a rather lovely afternoon pushing you along in your pram, walking this very same route." Kate was still smiling at the memory and she looked over to see Harry smiling, as well. "It feels nice to be doing it again," she said softly. "Of course, you're a bit more interesting this time around," Kate added and was rewarded with a laugh from Harry.

"I'll reckon I'm a bit less of a bother, as well," he said, chuckling. "After all, I can cut up my own food now."

The holidays, the cold weather and the time of day combined to keep the normally busy streets fairly quiet and they encountered few other people as they made their way toward the deli for lunch. They walked along a bit further then Kate broke the silence. "I'm really glad that you asked me to do something with you today, Harry," Kate said to him as they walked along the sidewalk. "I've wanted to get to know you better; sort of meet the young man I knew as an infant."

Harry smiled. "Sirius and Professor Lupin said that you spent a lot of time with me when I was a baby."

"Yes," Kate said. "Every chance I got. There were times when I thought your parents would surely ask me if I still had a flat of my own to live in, I was at your house so much. But they were only teasing, and you and I had a jolly old time together. Ah," Kate paused in front of a small shop. "Here we are." As the tiny front door opened, mouthwatering smells wafted out into the cold December air. A combination of freshly baked bread, sharp cheeses, garlic and salami assailed their nostrils, making breakfast seem very long ago, indeed. Harry's stomach gave a small grumble and he turned red, even as he smiled.

"And that would seem to be our cue to go inside," Kate smiled with him and together they went inside the deli and quickly found a booth in the back of the room.

The waitress brought them menus, which they perused for awhile, both finding it difficult to decide from amongst the vast selection of hot and cold sandwiches, soups, chowders and salads. Finally, they both decided on thick, roast beef sandwiches on homemade bread with relish and crisps. Despairing the lack of butter beer in the Muggle shop, they ordered lemonade, instead, promising themselves a quick stop at the Leaky Cauldron before returning to Grimmauld Place if there was time before the meeting.

Once they'd placed their orders, Harry resumed their conversation. "So, you and Sirius used to hang out with my parents," he prompted, obviously looking to pick up where they had left off when they arrived at the deli.

Kate nodded. "Yes, although we both visited you separately as well. Sirius used to infuriate your mother by insisting on "changing your diapers" using 'Evanesco' instead of actually removing the old and replacing with new." Seeing Harry's embarrassed expression, Kate smiled ruefully. "Sorry. That probably falls under the heading of 'too much information', doesn't it?" Harry shrugged and Kate felt her heart constrict a bit. This 15 year-old boy hungered for details of a time he couldn't remember and had never been told about, but still realized that, at his age, he should probably be a little squeamish about this level of detail – this type of story. Yet, Kate thought he realized, as she did, that he needed to hear this, and many other stories, to get to know his parents; stories told by old friends were the only way he would get to know the extraordinary couple who had made him, and loved him with all their hearts. These little adventures of daily life had not become part of his history through their re-telling at family occasions in the past, but they would become so now, Kate promised him, silently. "Well," she continued. "your mum began refusing to let Sirius take care of you alone when one day she came home to find that along with vanishing your soiled nappy, he had also managed to vanish your belly button, as well!" Kate laughed as she described the memory of Sirius' face as Lily kept turning baby Harry over and over as if the missing body part would somehow appear behind one knee or fall out of his sock. "Your poor Godfather hung his head and looked as pitiful as Padfoot caught chewing the paper, while James had to leave the room to avoid bursting out into hysterical laughter and bringing Lily's temper down on his head, as well."

Harry paused and wiped his eyes while he brought his breathing under control. "Since I now have my own navel, someone must have brought it back. What happened?" his voice ended in a small giggle.

Kate waited until the waitress had set their plates in front of them and left again before answering. "Bit of a scandal, that," she told him, her eyes twinkling. "Lily wouldn't let Sirius or James try any of the reversal spells they had looked up in several reference books that came from your Grandfather's library. They were all a little leery of going to St. Mungo's because Merlin only knew what had gone wrong and Lily was afraid they'd take you away from her because she'd let that – how did she phrase it – incorrigible reprobate practice illogical, antiquated spells on an innocent child. Yes, I think I got that right." She paused. "So, Lily decided that the punishment should fit the crime and she made Sirius accompany her and James to Hogwarts – to see Madam Pomfrey. She put you right almost immediately, then whirled 'round and gave your Godfather a very large piece of her mind. From that point onward, Sirius avoided that woman like the plague and your mother insisted that whenever they had to go out, Sirius could come over to Godric's Hollow, but that I had to come along to babysit you both!"

Harry laughed delightedly. "I can't wait to go back and tease Padfoot about this," he said then sobered instantly. "Only, Kate – I don't want to make things worse between the two of you; and I know they're bad enough now. Would Sirius be mad at you for telling me about this?"

Kate reached over and put her hand on his. "Harry, whatever is happening between Sirius and I doesn't, well – shouldn't affect the way you interact with either of us. I think you should go back and share this stuff with him. In addition to strengthening the bond you have between you, you will be giving Sirius back memories that are precious to him but which he no longer has. It's a spectacular gift you bring to him, Harry and you shouldn't let anything stop you giving it to him."

Harry nodded and munched on his sandwich for a few minutes without saying anything. "Kate," he said after awhile. When Kate looked up at him, she saw a dangerous glint in his eye – reminiscent of another messy-haired, bespectacled boy from long ago.

"Yes," Kate replied slowly.

"Do you think there's a way we can charm my belly button to look like it's disappeared again?" this time when he finished, Harry was truly consumed with laughter and Kate joined in, both of them picturing Sirius' face as Harry stood before him.

"Harry, how your father would have loved this!" Kate said and they both exchanged a fond smile at the thought.

Lunch continued with more stories and much laughter but soon it was time to head to the cinema for their movie. They had selected a theater that ran classic films rather than one featuring new releases because, truly, just about everything was new to them living as they did in the wizarding world. Kate noted that the marquee boasted a matinee of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail", which was one of her favorites. The unrelenting humor, ribald and completely irreverent, had given her, Sirius and Remus hours of entertainment. She thought it might be fun to continue Harry's "personal history lesson" by sharing something that his Godfather and Remus had also enjoyed and Harry readily agreed. She was rewarded when, sitting in the darkened theater, Harry's unbridled laughter rang out quite often indeed and, when the lights came up they were both wiping tears of laughter from their cheeks.

Harry turned and looked at her and said, "I have never laughed so hard in my entire life!"

Kate smiled at him and put her hand on his shoulder. "I'm so glad you liked it. You know, when we get back to the house, you might want to feed Remus a couple of lines from the film – just to see what he does!"

Harry looked back at her, his eyes widening, "Really? Professor Lupin? Why? What will he do?"

Kate winked at him, conspiratorially. "He used to know the entire movie by heart. We can test him later and see if he still does!"

They turned to head back the way they came and Kate was distracted by a slight movement to her right. Looking more closely, she thought she detected the shimmer of a Disillusionment charm and, reaching inside her jacket, she tightened her grip on her wand.

"Harry," Kate said quietly. "I think we might have someone following us – don't look around. Let's just walk a bit more quickly. That's right," she said as he picked up the pace. "We'll head over to an alley just beyond the deli. I want you to picture the Leaky Cauldron and hang onto me no matter what – deal?"

Harry nodded. "Deal. Only, tell me – what did you see?" His eyes shot to the sides without moving his head and Kate noticed that he, too, had a tight grip on his wand stored in his own jacket pocket.

"Evidence of a Disillusionment charm that needed renewing," she muttered. "Here we are. Begin focusing on the Leaky Cauldron – hedges on the side of the building, right?" At Harry's nod, Kate said, "I'm going to do a Side-Along Apparition on three. Ready? One…two…three!" Kate withdrew her wand and, with Harry's arm threaded tightly through her own, Kate turned on her heel and disappeared with a very soft "pop!"

When Tonks, Moody and the rest of the security detail appeared 'round the alleyway corner, Harry and Kate were nowhere to be found. Moody withdrew his wand and muttered a quick incantation then nodded his head in approval. "Good lass; smart," he said. "She wiped all magical traces before they Disapparated. Couldn't follow them now if I was Voldemort, himself!"

Kate and Harry reappeared in the generous space between the frozen hedges and the exterior wall of the Leaky Cauldron. Peering over the top of the hedge, Kate was relieved to see that there were no pedestrians lurking nearby and no sign of the Disillusionment charm. "Ok, Harry," she said quietly. "I think it's safe to pop out now."

Harry moved from behind Kate and gingerly took a couple of steps forward. Seeing his caution, Kate took his arm to get his attention. "Ok?"

Harry nodded. "Wouldn't want to do that very often, though."

Kate smiled. "By the time you learn to do it properly and get your license, it won't bother you a bit. But, side-along is always a bit tricky."

"What was the spell you did just as we left?" Harry asked, curiously.

"Oh, I just wiped our magical footprint from the area so we couldn't be followed. Auror trick I learned from Moody years ago," Kate confirmed.

"Do you think we were being followed by Death Eaters?" Harry asked.

"No, Harry," Kate said, smiling at him. "I think we were being followed by the Order. When I told you that I saw traces of a Disillusionment charm that needed renewing I could clearly see an image of a vibrant pink blob – just about shoulder height."

"Tonks," Harry said, smiling.

"Tonks," Kate repeated.

"Are you mad that they sent people to follow us?" the boy wondered.

"Well, I guess my ego is a little dented," Kate allowed. "But, truthfully, their goal and mine are the same: to protect you. How can I be that mad at them if that's why they were here? However," she continued, winking at him. "they don't have to know that. I think I just might drop a couple of hints that I saw them and am none too pleased with their lack of confidence!"

Harry grinned at her. "And here I thought there were only the four Marauders!"

Kate put her arm around his shoulders and hugged him slightly. "Harry, I think that's just about the nicest thing you've ever said to me! Shall we celebrate with a butter beer?"

"Do we have time before the meeting?" he wanted to know.

"We'll make time," Kate assured him.

And so they went into the pub, sat at a table and ordered warm butter beers to take off the chill of the day.

Harry smiled at Kate at one point and slyly asked, "So, don't suppose you can share anything about tonight's Order meeting, can you?"

Kate grinned back at him. "Is it too 'Godmother-like' to say something like, 'you know better than that, young man'?" she asked.

"Probably," Harry said. "But I don't mind."

"Harry, could I ask you something?" Kate asked.

Harry looked surprised, but nodded.

"Can you forgive me for not telling you sooner than this who I was to you?" Kate was anxious to hear, but nervous about the answer.

Harry thought for a long moment. "Well, I had pretty much figured it out for myself, but it did bother me that no one had been completely honest. I've thought about it a lot, though, and I don't think that you were trying to keep it from me on purpose. I understand why you didn't tell me and it's ok, really. I do forgive you."

Kate exhaled. "Thanks," she said. "I'm glad not to have that hanging between us."

"Kate!" came a booming voice near the door. "Kate, is that you?"

Both Kate and Harry turned to see a tall, thin man with long, red hair tied in a ponytail striding toward them. Both recognized Bill Weasley and greeted him warmly.

"Harry!" Bill said, shaking Harry's hand with both of his own. "How are you?"

"Fine, thanks Bill," Harry responded, flexing his fingers slightly. Kate winked at him. Bill had a firm grip that she had experienced on more than one occasion.

"What are the two of you doing in town on such a cold day?" Bill asked, signaling the waitress and asking for a bottle of butter beer, as well.

"We went out to lunch then took in a movie," Kate offered and, from there, the conversation turned to the movie and it turned out that Bill was another huge fan. Their raucous laughter soon filled the room as they replayed their favorite moments aloud for each other's benefit. Finally, Kate reluctantly looked at her watch and saw that they really needed to return to Grimmauld Place. The order meeting would begin in a little over thirty minutes and Kate had hoped to fit in a shower before it did. Unfortunately, it didn't appear that there would be enough time. "We'd better go," she said.

Harry looked just as disappointed as Kate felt, but she promised him that they would spend more time together before he returned to school.

"Come on, I'll head over with you," Bill said, rising with them. "Dumbledore has asked me to attend this one," he said quietly and Kate nodded.

They chose to walk back, both feeling that there was enough time. Additionally, after Harry's reaction to their earlier Apparition, Kate didn't want to take the chance that doing so again, so quickly, would make him ill. As they walked through the streets toward Grimmauld, they all resumed their discussion of the movie and were in high spirits when they arrived. Although the three remembered to lower their voices upon entering the great hallway, their laughter quickly reasserted itself as they trooped down the stairs toward the kitchen. As they approached the closed door, it suddenly flew open and an irritated Sirius stood before them. His gaze went from their laughing faces to Bill's hand, which was currently resting on Kate's waist and his frown deepened. "Nice of you to join us," he commented sharply. "Pity you couldn't do so quietly. The meeting has already started."

"Only just, Sirius," came the calming and pleasant voice of Dumbledore from his chair at the head of the table.

Kate and Bill brushed by Sirius and made their way to the only two seats that remained open – side by side and next to Moody. Harry hurried back upstairs, planning to return for Molly's chocolate cake later in the evening. After closing the door, Sirius returned to his customary chair and Dumbledore again called the meeting to order.

"As you all know, the Ministry has infiltrated Hogwarts through the presence of Dolores Umbridge. Her constantly changing title and authority levels are clear indications that Fudge intends to remove me as part of his continuing campaign to discredit me and cast doubt on Voldemort's return," he commented.

"Odious woman," McGonagall murmured, earning a smile from the Headmaster and a grimace from Snape, who was seated in one corner of the room, positioned away from the others.

"What do you propose to do about her, Albus?" Hestia Jones asked. "Surely, you must have a plan in mind."

Albus smiled at the woman. "I am considering several alternatives but, for now, feel that the best course of action is to wait her out. I am certain that she plans to wrest control of the school from me and I shall take no action until she attempts to do so. At that time, I'll do whatever seems most prudent, for the school and for the Order. Rest assured, I am confident that we will prevail. It may just take more time than we'd like to do so."

The meeting continued with each member providing a report of their individual activities, with Remus commenting on the movements of the werewolf packs and Bill called upon to discuss the unusually high volume of ancient and dark Egyptian curses that were beginning to surface in Britain. Bill had arranged for Gringott's to relocate him to London for the immediate future, as his services were needed to address and break the curses as they were discovered. The Order was very interested in learning of any patterns of use or curse type that could indicate that Voldemort was involved.

"So, I guess I'll be coming to more of these," Bill said, smiling. Kate couldn't help but grin. It would be nice to have him popping in and out of headquarters. He'll help offset the gloom for all of us, she thought. Inadvertently, she glanced over at Sirius and was surprised to see the look of hostility on his face as he looked at Bill. What on earth could Bill have done to him?

The meeting ended after Dumbledore handed out the assignments for the coming two weeks until they were all together again. Once Kate had her assignment, she was walking over to pour herself some tea when Bill stopped her. "Kate, hold on. I've been meaning to return this to you," he said, handing Kate a single earring. "I found it after you left the other night. I tried to catch you, but you were long gone. I've been carrying it around with me ever since."

Kate smiled. "I wondered where this had got to! These are old favorites and I hated to think I'd never wear them again. Thanks, Bill!" She leaned up and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Turning away to finally pour her tea, Kate came face to face with Sirius and her heart leapt into her throat.

His face was white and his blue eyes blazed pure fire and something else that Kate couldn't quite identify. Sirius took one step closer to her – close enough that Kate could feel the heat of his breath on her cheek as he spoke.

"Has anything else gone missing?" he asked, his voice dripping venom and loud enough only for Kate to hear. "Shall I dash upstairs and search my bed for any other lost items?"

While Sirius' comment was lost to the others, the room was rendered silent by the sharp crack of Kate's hand as it connected hard with Sirius' cheek. Shaking with righteous anger, she turned and left the kitchen.


	24. The Unthinkable Happens

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Bill moved more quickly than Sirius would have given him credit for and he'd grabbed Sirius by the front of his robes before anyone in the room could intercept him.

"What in bloody hell did you do to her, Black?" he spat, his nose almost touching Sirius' and his voice rolling through the kitchen like thunder.

"What did I 'do to her'?" Sirius growled back. "Same thing you did, apparently but it seems that she prefers your talents to mine."

Bill gaped at the older man for a moment then released his grip on Sirius' robes. Sirius had time to no more than reach up to smooth the fabric before Bill turned back and dropped him with a left-handed punch to Sirius' eye. This time, Remus was across the room and had Bill in a tight grip to prevent another attack. Sirius remained on the floor, curled on his side, facing away from the meeting area.

"Enough!" Remus said voice loud and stern as he tightened his grip 'round Bill's chest. Bill struggled against Remus for a moment more then, his breath still coming in harsh gasps, he stood still.

"You can … let … me go…," he panted. "I…won't… hit him…again."

"I'm going to walk with you to the kitchen door," Remus said to the young man. He then turned to Moody and Tonks who, with Remus, were the only Order members left in the room. "Would you two please escort him outside?" Remus asked

"Come on, lad," Moody said then turned back to where Tonks was standing, gaping at the still unmoving form of her cousin on the stone floor. "You, too, Nymphadora," he commanded, taking Bill by the arm.

"Don't call me Nymphadora, Mad Eye," Tonks said as she walked toward him, eyes still fixed on Sirius. She tripped over a chair leg on her way, which seemed to snap her out of her trance. Together, the three of them left the kitchen.

When Remus heard the front door close, he knelt down and touched Sirius' shoulder. "Padfoot?" he called quietly, but received no response. He moved closer to see if Sirius was conscious and, from his new angle, Remus could clearly see the deep scarlet handprint Kate had left on his upturned cheek. Inwardly, the werewolf cringed. That would certainly be there for awhile yet. Remus was more concerned, however, about the damage Bill's punch might have inflicted on Sirius' eye, which was pressed to the floor.

"Padfoot," Remus called again and pressed on Sirius shoulder in an attempt to turn him over. Meeting a bit of resistance, Remus sighed in relief; at least he was conscious. "Come, Sirius, turn over so I can get a look at that eye."

Sirius allowed Remus to gently guide him into a sitting position, propped up against the sideboard cabinet. When Remus looked down to check the eye, he found that it had already swollen shut and there was an ugly purple bruise forming on his high cheekbone, as well. He pulled his wand from inside his robes and muttered a healing spell, watching intently as the skin returned to its normal pallor and the swelling receded. "There, all better," he said to his silent friend. "Now, do you want to tell me what that was all about?"

Sirius looked over at him. "Bill Weasley hit me."

"Oh, for the love of Merlin, Sirius, stop being such a bloody arse and give me a straight answer for once before I hit you!" Remus bit out.

"Are you blind?" Sirius asked him. "Didn't you see what was going on with them?"

Remus looked at his friend, his gaze incredulous. "Sirius, there is nothing going on between them. They're friends. Bill Weasley has been involved with a French girl – a Veela named Fleur Delacourt; they've been together since the Tri-Wizard Tournament last year. He's not interested in Kate!"

"Bah!" Sirius waved him off then struggled to his feet. "Then how did her earring end up in his bed?"

"Sirius, you'd best mind what you say or I really might just hit you myself," Remus said, shortly. "I never heard the word 'bed' uttered in their exchange. In fact, I don't believe that Bill said anything about where it was found. How you could just assume that…" he stopped, a look of disbelief crossing his face. "Oh, Padfoot, you didn't…that isn't why…Sirius, please tell me that you didn't get that slap in the face because you accused her of sleeping with Bill Weasley!"

Sirius looked away from Remus and said nothing.

"You deserved what she gave you," Remus said to him and walked away.

Sirius' expression changed in an instant – from arrogant self-righteousness to shock and disbelief. "Mooney, you don't understand," he began.

"No, Sirius," Remus said, sitting down at the table. "You don't understand and I'm sick and tired of trying to explain it to you. You're officially on your own here. Figure it out for yourself."

Sirius stared at his best friend for several moments, then turned and left the room. Remus was still sitting there long after Sirius' footsteps could no longer be heard.

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Sirius climbed the stairs with determined steps; his goal was to get to his room without seeing anyone. Regrettably, as he passed Kate's door, it opened and Kate froze in the doorway as she saw him. Her eyes automatically went to his cheek where, though somewhat faded, her handprint was still visible.

Sirius brought his own hand up to touch the mark then shoved his fist back into the pocket of his robes. The confrontation downstairs with Remus had become the norm, but cutting Sirius off from his advice, from his ready ear was not. Sirius had both a prickly conscience and an ache in his heart after hearing those words. As a result of that conversation and so many others that had occurred in the past 24 hours, Sirius' nerves were frayed beyond their limits and his emotional balance was more than precarious; Kate's appearance was something he could not handle with any degree of rationality.

As Kate turned toward the stairs, Sirius spoke, his voice harsh. "Kate," she stopped, but did not turn around. "Don't bring him here," he said. "Whatever you do with him, do it outside this house."

Kate turned, slowly, until she faced Sirius. Her face was white and, although she did not move from her spot, Sirius took a step backward.

"I will tell you this once, Sirius – and only once, so please pay attention: There. Is. Nothing. Going. On. Between. Bill. Weasley. And. Me. Period. We are friends and nothing more. Harry and I ran into him this afternoon after we left the cinema. He walked back here with us – and attended the meeting at Dumbledore's request. He is doing work for the Order – just as we all are doing. I am not involved with him. I am certainly not sleeping with him. I am not, actually, sleeping with anyone at the moment, a fact that you know very well." Kate said her voice deadly quiet and her face expressionless.

"Your earring?" Sirius replied, taking a step closer to her.

"He was the friend I met for dinner last week. The only way Bill could have found it was if it had fallen out at the restaurant," Kate responded, moving closer to him.

"I'm supposed to believe that," Sirius shot back, taking yet another step in Kate's direction. "I'm supposed to trust that you're telling me the truth."

Kate took the last step forward, closing the distance between them until they were standing close enough to touch. "You can choose to believe me or not, Sirius. I am telling you the truth."

"Like you told me 'the truth' the night you agreed to wait to tell Harry that you are his Godmother?" Sirius' voice rose.

"I told Harry the truth only because he was about to guess it himself. He told me as much this afternoon; he had worked it out based on things you'd said to him – as well as what he saw when he looked at your photo album," Kate responded.

"You were lurking outside the library. You heard everything that was going on in that room. You were spying on us – and when you heard where things were headed, you seized the opportunity to rush into the room and tell Harry the news…to tell him your version of the truth!" Sirius was breathing hard, now, his nostrils flaring in his anger and his eyes flashing dangerously.

"My version of the truth?! Sirius, I told him that I was his Godmother. When he asked me why I hadn't told him, I didn't tell him it was because you were afraid of the fall-out or that you'd asked me not to do it. I told him exactly what you had said. I backed you up! And he believed me. He doesn't bear any grudges. There is no harm done – to him or to his relationship with either of us. You're the person holding the grudge; you're the person who can't forgive – not Harry!" Kate's voice had risen sharply.

"You betrayed my trust!" Sirius shouted, his body trembling with rage.

"You self-righteous son of a bitch!" Kate matched his volume. "You've shut me out since that night and refused to even discuss it with me! I know that listening outside that door was wrong. I know it! I knew it when I stayed – even after I realized that you weren't in there alone. You've never even given me the chance to explain. I've been convicted without trial," Kate stopped and took a deep breath, dropping her voice several levels before continuing, "I heard that boy say my name and I couldn't make myself move. I'm his Godmother, Sirius, and you took that away from me – but with my permission. I let your insecurities and problems dictate my own actions and I truly did mean to live up to our bargain. But I heard you with him and you were not having an easy time. You were reliving James and Lily's deaths and you were so upset. I couldn't imagine what it would have done if Harry had guessed – and guessed correctly. He was starting to become more and more angry – I could hear it in his voice. Yes, I was happy to finally have him know the truth, but I could have kept it to myself if everything else hadn't been spiraling downward as it was. I didn't think, Sirius – I reacted! It wasn't so much what I wanted to do as it was what I wanted not to have happen. I did not betray you. I was wrong to have eavesdropped on the two of you and I'm sorry, but I can't change it. It's done. It's in the past. I can only apologize, which I've done." Kate finished and put her hands in the pocket of her robes.

Sirius was silent for a moment. "I can't get past feeling like you took my trust and threw it back in my face," he said.

Kate looked up at him. "I don't know how to change that for you, Sirius. I've done and said everything I can think of to try to convince you why I did what I did. It never crossed my mind to hurt you, not ever. But every time I put a foot wrong, you're there to condemn me, to say things that you know will hurt me. And you've been wildly successful." Kate waited until Sirius looked back at her then continued, "You know, you lied to me, too."

Sirius' face dropped. "I have never lied to you, Kate! Not since the old days, not since the first War when we were trying to figure out who the traitor was; not since you came back to London!"

Kate nodded. "Yes, Sirius. Yes, you have." She slowly raised her right hand until his gaze shifted and he looked at her finger. "You lied while you put this on my finger. You said this was your promise – a vow to work on our relationship, not to run away from it. To try to work through the hard times and all the bumps in the road. You told me that every single time I looked at it, you wanted me to remember that you were going to try. You promised all of that, and then you said that you loved me. You lied. How could you have been telling me the truth when it's so easy for you to walk away from me? When it's so damned easy for you to hurt me, to believe the worst of me? To believe that I would love you so little that I would take up with another man on a whim, as a reason to hurt you? That I would go to bed with another man – that I could go to bed with another man after we had come back together. To believe that everything we said to each other two days ago meant nothing to me. To believe and do all of that, Sirius, you would have to have lied to me." Tears had been streaming down Kate's face since she had raised her hand to make her point about Sirius' promise ring. She turned, approaching the flight of stairs that went up to the third floor. Seating herself on one of the stairs, she put her hands in her lap and twirled the ring on her finger while she fought for her control. Sirius walked over to where Kate was seated, but instead of sitting near her or touching her, he sat with his back against the wall at the start of the stairway. He remained silent.

"Sirius, you have to figure out what you want from me, with me. I can't stay on this rollercoaster ride much longer. Two days ago, we made love to each other and promised to work through times like these. Now, today, you're accusing me of sleeping with Bill Weasley and of intentionally betraying your trust with Harry. You throw insults, accusations and barbs at me then leave the room without listening to anything I have to say. It just hurts too much to go through this," Kate said, sadly.

Sirius looked up at her. "What do you want me to do, Kate?" he asked.

"What do I want?" Kate drew a shaky breath and raised her hand again. "I want you to keep your promise; but it's not about what I want. You have to want to keep your promise. You've got to want it even more than I do and I haven't seen much evidence of it. It feels like you don't love me anymore; that whatever you once felt for me has well and truly died. In fact, it feels as if you're latching onto anything that would let you walk away from me; walk away from us." Kate looked at him. "Is that what you want, Sirius? Do you want me to release you from your promise?"

Sirius sat, his head bowed and his hands upturned in his lap. Kate waited a moment, desperate for any movement or word that would tell her that Sirius wasn't ready to give up. When he didn't move after several more minutes, Kate rose silently and drew the ring from her finger. Holding back a sob, but unable to stop the scalding tears from flowing down her cheeks, she leaned down and dropped the ring into his open hand, then turned and ran back to her room, closing the door behind her.


	25. Endings Are Considered

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Sirius felt the weight of the heavy gold band drop into his hand at the same time he felt a small splash strike his wrist. The blurring of his own vision gave proof to the fact that he had finally lost the battle to maintain control of his emotions. Bits and pieces of all the conversations of the evening took flight in his head, breaking him further as they played over and over again.

"You deserved what she gave you"

"You're officially on your own here. Figure it out for yourself."

"You're the person holding the grudge; you're the person who can't forgive!"

"You lied while you put this on my finger … it's so damned easy for you to hurt me, to believe the worst of me… It feels like you don't love me anymore … do you want me to release you from your promise?"

"… do you want me to release you from your promise?"

"you don't love me anymore … release you from your promise …"

"Nooooooo!," Sirius cried loudly as he jumped to his feet. He placed the ring in his pocket and mindlessly thundered to Kate's door, not bothering to knock, not bothering to call to her before his hand was on the doorknob and he pushed – hard and entered the darkened room. The door closed behind him.

Silence, save his own ragged breathing. Darkness, save the blurred image of the large window at the far end of the room. Sirius roughly drew his fingers over his eyes to clear them then dragged one hand down his face to rid it of the moisture that clung there. His eyes darted frantically around the room, but he still could not locate her. Then, he heard it; a cry – small, broken – from the direction of the hearth. Sirius moved toward the sound, willing his eyes to see and finally they did. Kate. He stopped, several feet from where she sat, on the floor in front of the unlit fireplace. Tears stained her cheeks, and Kate's shoulders shook as she stared into the darkness, her arms clasped 'round her legs and her chin resting on her knee.

"Kate," Sirius murmured, his voice broken.

At the sound, Kate looked up at him then looked away again. Sirius slowly walked to her and sat on the floor by her side. Unable to look away, Sirius faced her, keeping her profile in front of him. "I did this," he whispered, his eyes filling again.

Kate turned. "Yes," she whispered back to him, nodding. "But … I … let you." The remnants of her emotions created hitches in her breathing that interrupted her sentence. She turned back, shivering once in the chill of the room.

Sirius waved his hand at the hearth and muttered a complex spell. The center of the fireplace shimmered briefly then, with a small popping sound, a fire was blazing, casting immediate warmth toward them both. Sirius levitated the screen to its normal place on the stone hearth, then turned back to Kate.

Her eyes were closed and, in the reflection of the firelight, Sirius could see tears caught in her dark lashes. He hung his head. Remus was right. Sirius didn't understand anything he'd said to him about stubbornness, grudges, jealousy and arrogance. What he did understand was fear and loss and a driving sense of self-preservation at any cost. Sirius looked back up at Kate. At any cost, he thought to himself. Well, here's my cost. It suddenly was so clear to him. Not this price – it wasn't hers to pay. Sweet Merlin, she was paying for everything he thought was wrong with himself, with his life. Every imagined slight, every irritation blown out of proportion – he laid them at her feet. And she had kept coming back for more. Until tonight. Tonight she had released him from everything he had promised her. Tonight, he had finally made her believe the biggest lie of all – that he didn't love her. She had given him back the tangible evidence of all of his promises because of his failure to actually live up to any of them.

Kate opened her eyes to find him looking at her. "Why are you here?" she asked, her voice so small he barely heard it.

Sirius watched the play of light on her features for a moment then he took a deep, shaky breath. "I promised," he whispered, lifting his hand from the pocket of his robes and, in the firelight, Kate could see the promise ring where he had pushed it onto the top of his index finger. "I just realized that I haven't done a very good job living up to that promise," he continued, lowering his hand to rest on his knee. "I have no right asking for it, but I'd like the chance to do a better job."

Kate shook her head. "Until the next time we disagree or you think I'm being unfaithful. I can't let myself believe things will work out for us, Sirius. It's just too hard when it all falls apart." Kate brushed away a tear that had fallen onto her face. "I'm sorry. It hurts so much and I just don't want it to hurt anymore."

Sirius felt the first stirrings of desperation and he fought to keep it from his voice – and from his eyes. He took a deep breath then focused on keeping his voice quiet and controlled as he tried to put words to everything that was in his heart. Sirius closed his eyes and began to speak, "I don't want it to hurt anymore, either. I don't want you to ever hurt again because of me. I would love to sit here and promise you that I will never hurt you again, but that would be setting us both up for failure and I don't want that. I want to keep my promises and so I promise you that I will never intentionally hurt you again. We will disagree because people do, and I probably will lose my temper and yell. I can't promise you I won't walk out of the room in the middle of it all; I'll promise you instead that I will always come back. I will not stay away. I promise that I will listen to your side – really listen. I can't promise that I won't be jealous. I will. I was tonight. Bill Weasley is everything I used to be but no longer am. He's young, fit, strong – and his mind is intact, whole. He's free, as well. He's not chained to this place. He can go out with you – and even with you and Harry, as happened today. I was jealous – and terrified." Sirius paused, feeling his emotions beginning to escalate and, slowing his breathing, he collected himself. "That's not an easy thing to admit, you know. I was afraid. I can't promise I won't be jealous or afraid – or both. I do promise that I'll tell you if it happens. I promise I won't accuse you of being unfaithful. Ever. Merlin, you didn't deserve that tonight. I'm sorry. I know that I tried to run your life where Harry was concerned. You know the reasons why. Better than I do, really. I'll be overprotective where Harry is concerned, even if you're there to protect him. I can't promise I won't be. In fact, I'll probably be worse, because I'll be overprotective and neurotic about you, too. I will promise that I'll try not to do anything foolish. That I will try to keep it together. That I will try to stay away from using owls to send messages that ultimately piss you off. That I will be respectful of your abilities to take care of Harry – and yourself – even though I'll never be comfortable that you're safe unless I'm there to take care of you – both of you." Sirius opened his eyes and looked at the fire. "Lastly, I lost sight of the fact that you love me. In the face of everything I feared the most, I lost sight of the one thing that matters the most – you. I let my own twisted mind turn you into something you're not because I let my fears become my reality. I don't always understand how it happens so I can't promise that it never will again. I do promise that I won't let it fester. I won't ignore you. I'll tell you, even though you'll sometimes be angry as a result. If I know you'll be there afterward and that we can work through the anger – even if we have to shout and act like children to do it – I can and will promise that I'll come to you. If you come to me, I promise that I won't push you away. If I need time to sort something out, I promise I will tell you. I made you feel that I don't love you anymore, that I want to walk away from this," he held up his finger, turning to her for the first time since he'd begun speaking. "I promise you that I'll never make you feel like I don't love you – ever again. I promise that I will spend my whole life – to my last breath – doing everything I can to convince you just how much I do love you. I don't want release from my promises, Katie. I want to renew them. These promises. To you. For longer than a few days. If you'll let me." Sirius extended his hand the short distance between them. He folded all fingers save the one with his ring and waited.

Kate looked at his finger, then brushed her hands over her cheeks to clear them. When she was finished, she looked up into Sirius' eyes and held his gaze for a long moment. Sirius fought with everything he had not to squirm, not to speak. He simply looked back into Kate's eyes, trying to silently communicate that what he had said was the truth. After some time, Kate broke her gaze and rose to her feet. Sirius closed his eyes, a feeling of searing pain shooting through his chest. It wasn't enough, he thought. I've finally pushed Kate to the limit of her endurance and I can't pull her back. His eyes suddenly shot open when he felt the ring being tugged from his finger. Kate was kneeling before him, the ring in one hand, a golden chain in the other. The pain lessened slightly as Sirius saw her thread the chain through the band, then look up at him.

Her eyes and nose were red from the strain of her tears, but she gave him a very soft, slightly sad smile. "Perhaps we did this backward," she said quietly, her voice hoarse. "You wanted this ring to be my reminder of your promises to me. In reality, I never needed it for that reason. When you keep your promises, I can feel it here," she paused and covered her heart with her hand. "You told me tonight that you allowed the twists in your head and all of your insecurities to make you forget." She leaned forward and fastened the chain around his neck, allowing her hands to rest on his shoulders when she was finished. "Maybe you should wear this ring – to remind you of your promises, to ground you when your mind tries to alter what's real, what's true."

Sirius searched Kate's face. "But it's your promise ring," he whispered. "My gift to you. I'm not supposed to have it." Sirius could feel himself becoming agitated and he swallowed audibly then took a deep breath. He felt Kate take his hand and he grasped her fingers tightly. She smiled softly and placed his hand on the ring, squeezing gently, then sliding out of his grip.

"It's no less mine because you have it. I accepted it back from you, Sirius. I just think that we stand a better chance of success with it 'round your neck than on my finger – for now," she said.

Sirius reached for her hands and held them gently. His eyes filled. "You're giving me a chance to make this right?" he asked, afraid to believe it could actually be true.

It was Kate's turn to look at him for a long moment. "Us. I'm giving us one more chance to make this right. It takes two, I know that. But, Sirius, I meant it when I said that I cannot continue on this rollercoaster ride, never knowing what's going to happen from one minute to the next. I can wipe the slate clean and we can start fresh, but it has to be different this time."

Sirius nodded, still holding her hands. "I promise, Katie. I promise. Truly."

Kate squeezed his hands gently. "I promise, too." She leaned forward and placed a kiss over the still pink skin of his cheek. "I'd be lying to you if I said I was sorry for this," she said quietly, releasing his hands.

Sirius looked her dead in the eye. "You have nothing for which to apologize, Kate. I was more than wrong for saying what I did. I deserved that slap; I probably deserved more. No, I definitely deserved more," he added, thinking of Bill's reaction after Kate had left the room. "Katie, I am so sorry for that. Of all the hurtful shite I've pulled in the past few days, I regret tonight most of all," he said sincerely. "Please, forgive me."

Kate nodded. "I forgive you," she said, sitting back, then straightening her legs out in front of her to try to ease the stiffness. After a moment or two, she extended a hand to Sirius. "Help me up?" she asked. He rose with a groan and complied. Unlike the last time, he did not draw her into his arms, still unsure whether or not he had that right, but suspecting he did not. Not yet.

"Thanks," she said, as she stretched, working out the kinks in her back. Sirius watched her, gravely, silently. Kate turned and saw the look of sadness and insecurity in his eyes and she felt her eyes fill.

"What is it, Sirius?" she asked. He looked lost.

"We tell each other what we feel, right? That's part of the deal," he asked in confirmation. At her nod, he continued. "I want to hold you so badly right now. I want to walk over to you and take you in my arms and just … hold you. I've missed that. I know I'm responsible for pushing you away and I know that I probably don't have the right to it now, but Katie, Merlin, I ache for it," Sirius finished.

Kate thought for a moment, then closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his neck, her heart leaping at the immediate strength of his arms snaking around her waist and holding her tightly. Sirius' head dropped to her shoulder and, true to his word, he just stood there. They held each other for a very long time before Sirius lifted his head and looked into Kate's eyes. "May I kiss you?" At her nod, he gently kissed her lips. "Thank you," he said, releasing her gently. "I'll let you get some rest. It's late."

"Sirius," Kate called out as he reached the door. "Tonight's been rough. If you find that you can't sleep; if the nightmares come, you can come in here with me…to sleep," she finished.

Sirius smiled. "Thanks, Katie. I think that we need to take this second chance slower than we took the first one. You might have enormous self-control, but I can assure you that I do not. If I came to your room tonight, I don't believe I could settle for "just sleeping"."

Kate returned his smile. "Good night, Sirius. I'll see you in the morning." Kate paused. 'We tell each other what we feel, right?' It's a two-way street. "Sirius, I do love you," she said quietly.

Kate heard him swallow before he answered, his voice breaking, "I love you, Kate," and then he was out the door.

Kate took her robe from the door and went into her bathroom for a hot soak – and some time alone to think.


	26. Promises Renewed/Relationships Deepened

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Sirius entered his bedroom more completely exhausted than any time he could remember – including the year spent on the run, as Padfoot. He brought his hand to his chest, seeking and finding the golden promise ring suspended from Kate's chain. While he never imagined their conflict would end this way, he was beyond grateful that Kate had agreed to give their relationship another chance. Sirius stripped off his robes, tossing them in the bathroom hamper then reached up to unclasp the chain before stepping into the shower. He paused before doing so then brought his hands down to his sides. No, he thought to himself. This stays where it is until Kate takes it off and allows me to put this ring back on her finger, where it belongs. He turned the water to hot and stepped into the stream.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Kate sank down into the hot, scented water and closed her eyes. Her throat was raw and her eyes were heavy and sore from crying. She lifted her hand from the water and gazed at the spot where Sirius' ring had been. Her hand felt lighter without the solid weight of the gold band on her finger. Kate didn't regret what she had done; it was far better for both of them where it was. Would it work this time? Would they work this time? Kate truly didn't know. What she did know was that this time, Sirius was deeply committed; she had seen it in his eyes. Merlin, she thought as she stepped out of the tub, please let it work this time. I couldn't take a repeat of these past few days… and neither can he.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Harry entered the kitchen the following morning to find it empty. He started a fire in the hearth then made tea on the old stove. Sipping the scalding tea carefully, Harry sat to the right of Sirius' chair and thought over the events of the previous day. He smiled as he thought of Kate and the stories she'd shared with him over lunch. He hadn't really had a chance to talk to Sirius when they'd returned. Harry's smile disappeared as he thought of the raised voices – one of them Sirius' – that had drifted up from the kitchen last night. Harry knew that his Godparents were having problems and it bothered him. Sirius had lost so much in his life – his family, his friends and 12 years of his life. He had gotten Kate back; Harry just hoped Sirius could work it all out in his head and keep her. Harry was also mindful of the fact that he had a personal stake in their success – they were the closest thing to parents he had – and he was determined to keep them.

The sound of footsteps in the stairwell brought Harry out of his thoughts and he looked up to see his Godfather enter the kitchen. Harry took in his appearance with a single glance: Muggle jeans, the sweater Kate had given him for Christmas and black leather boots; his shoulder length-hair was clean and combed, beard and mustache were neatly trimmed. It was a vast improvement over the disheveled appearance Sirius had been sporting for the past couple of days.

"You're up early," he greeted Harry with a smile. "Did you sleep well?"

Harry returned the smile, glad to see that Sirius' disposition had also improved. "Yes," he said. "I guess I was more tired than I thought. I never even made it back down here last night for some of Mrs. Weasley's chocolate cake."

"You had a good time, then," Sirius fixed himself a mug of tea and sat in his chair.

"Yeah," Harry said, a smile lighting up his face. "It was great."

"Tell me?" Sirius asked, quickly adding, "You don't have to, if you'd rather not; if you'd like to keep it private." The last thing the elder man wanted was to make Harry feel as if he was the subject of an inquisition. Sirius was also aware that the boy knew that things had been "off" between Kate and him, and so might not wish to talk about their day for fear that Sirius would be critical.

To his relief, the boy shook his head. "No, Sirius. I want to tell you. A lot of it was about you – and Mum and Dad. I want you to hear and then, maybe, you'll be able to remember, too."

Sirius reached over and squeezed Harry's hand. "Then, tell me," he said, his voice slightly hoarse.

'Well," Harry began, eyes twinkling mischievously, "Did you know that Mum only let you babysit for me if Kate came along to babysit for you?"

Sirius' eyebrows rose. "I'm sure you misunderstood Kate, Harry," he said.

Harry laughed out loud. "No, Sirius, I believe I heard her quite clearly. I'll give you a hint: think 'dirty nappies' and 'Madam Pomfrey'." He then sat back, folded his arms across his chest and watched his Godfather's face.

Sirius' face was puzzled – at first. As he considered Harry's words, however, his expression began to change. It was obvious to the boy that his Godfather was searching the corners of his mind for any glimmer that might lead him to the memory at which Harry had hinted. Finally, with heightened color in his cheeks, he looked up at Harry and sheepishly asked, "Was there a belly button involved?"

Harry smirked at him and nodded, slightly. "Mine," he said.

"Ah," Sirius replied. "Well, Harry, you have to realize that your Mum was not impressed with attempts to improve some of the less appealing … processes that went into taking care of you. She wasn't very progressive in that regard. So, when I used a simple vanishing spell designed to make the whole nappy-changing experience less…disgusting, she was quite unreasonable about it all."

"And the disappearance of a body part didn't have anything to do with her being unreasonable?" Harry was enjoying this rare chance to tease Sirius about the past. Kate was right – it felt really good to be able to trigger a memory.

"Now, see," Sirius said, shaking his head and trying to look woeful. "this is yet another example of what I was talking about last week – sometimes you do remind me of the less adventurous, more serious side of Lily. Very unMarauder-like, I must say."

They drank their tea in companionable silence for awhile, and then Harry spoke again. "Sirius, last night, after the meeting, I heard a lot of yelling going on down here. What happened?"

Sirius' face darkened for a moment then his hand came up and rested over the ring, safely tucked beneath his jumper. No secrets. "I'm afraid I contributed to the yelling," he confessed to the teenager. "Bill Weasley took offense to something I said – and rightfully so. I lost my temper and yelled back at him. He left."

Harry watched Sirius carefully throughout his comments. "What did you say that set him off?"

Sirius looked frankly at Harry. "I said something very unfair and disrespectful about Kate." As Harry frowned at him, Sirius held up his hand. "Harry, sometimes, I get an idea in my head and it's hard for me to be objective or to really sit down and think a situation through. Usually, the idea comes about because of something emotional that's happened and I let it overtake my logic. It happened before Azkaban, but the tendency intensified while I was in prison. I can't explain it very well," he sighed. "I worry…about you, about losing…people I care about. I can misinterpret the actions of others and the misinterpretation can take on a life of its own, depending upon what else is going on." Sirius stopped and shook his head. "I get angry and I lose my temper. Sometimes, I can't stop that from happening."

Harry reached over and stilled Sirius' fingers, which had begun to fidget, twitching and drumming on the table. "It's ok, Sirius," he said quietly. Sirius extracted one of his hands and placed it over Harry's and nodded.

"Is that what happened last night?" Harry wanted to know. "You lost your temper and said something about Kate that made Bill mad?"

"Yes," Sirius replied, sadly. "And it was uncalled for and completely untrue."

Harry took a breath. "Sirius, I know things aren't good between you and Kate right now, but do you think you guys can work things out? I mean, it's selfish of me to say this – because it's your life and all, but I haven't had much time with you and I've just found Kate. I really had a good time with her yesterday and I like the idea of having a Godmother; I like her, Sirius and I understand why Mum and Dad liked her, too. You two are the only family I have and … well … I just don't want to lose that."

Sirius squeezed Harry's hand. "You won't, Harry. I promise you, you will not lose us." Harry nodded and Sirius said, again, "I promise."

"I believe you," Harry said, simply.

"Thank you," Sirius said. "In fact, Kate and I spoke for quite awhile last night," he added.

Harry's eyes widened. "And…?"

Sirius smiled. "'and' she's given me another chance to redeem myself from my previous idiocy."

Harry smiled. "Good. As I said, I like the idea of having both of you."

"So do I, Harry. So do I," Sirius said softly.

"Good morning, gentlemen," Kate said, pausing in the doorway. "I don't suppose you've left any tea for a woman in desperate need of caffeine, have you?"

Harry watched Sirius' face brighten tremendously at Kate's arrival and he found himself smiling, as well. Please let this work this time, Harry sent a silent prayer to whatever Deities might be listening.

"What do you say, Harry?" Sirius was asking him. "Interested in sharing our tea with this poor waif?"

Kate rolled her eyes as she sat down next to Sirius. "Careful, Sirius," she said slyly. "I might be compelled to share embarrassing stories from your past with our Godson."

Sirius and Harry exchanged amused expressions. "You've lost your power to frighten me, Kate. Harry and I have two words for you: "belly" and "button". Sirius gave her a sidelong glance and finished, "Do your worst."

Harry choked on his tea and Kate laughed out loud. When she recovered, she said, "Ah, I see what I'm up against. A little two against one here, eh?"

"Never, Katie girl. From now on, I only play fair and square," Sirius said, leaning over and giving her a chaste peck on the cheek.

Kate feigned a horrified look. "Merlin, Sirius, don't do that! I wouldn't know how to behave and, frankly, I think the shock would kill you!"

A smooth, silky voice cut through the laughter that greeted her last remark. Severus Snape had silently entered the kitchen. "What a heartwarming little scene. Thankfully, I've not yet eaten breakfast, so there's no danger of it repeating itself!"

Sirius' previously positive mood evaporated in an instant and he stood and faced his childhood enemy. "And to what do we owe the displeasure of your slimy company, Snivellus?" Sirius growled.

Snape's lips curled into his trademark sneer. "The Headmaster wanted me to deliver some news to Mr. Potter, unpleasant as it will be for us both. It seems that the Dark Lord has some connection to your mind, Mr. Potter as you may have realized with the attack on Arthur Weasley. We have no way of knowing if this connection is known to him, however, Dumbledore wishes that you begin studying Occlumency with me upon your return to Hogwarts."

"I will not permit my Godson to endure additional occasions of abuse at your hands, Snape," Sirius said, his voice low and threatening. "Dumbledore's a gifted Occlumens. Why is he not teaching Harry himself?"

Snape fixed Sirius with a withering gaze. "The Headmaster did not choose to enlighten me with the detail of his decision, Black. Let it suffice for me to say that his decision has been communicated to me and is final. It matters not whether you or I, for that matter, agree with him. It is his wish and so I will comply – as will you, Mr. Potter."

"Fine," Harry's tone was less than respectful, but he took his cues from Sirius and he, clearly, hated the man.

"Black, as Potter's guardian, you will need to sign this," Snape pressed an authorization form into Sirius' hand. "See that it's signed and given to Potter for his return. I won't ask for another." Before Sirius could retort, Snape turned and headed for the stairs, his robes billowing behind him.

Kate had watched this exchange silently. She, of course, knew Snape from both their days at school and now, in the Order. While she had no love for the man, she knew that Sirius despised him – and his access to Harry. She expected that he would air his views loudly now that Snape had left.

To Kate's surprise, although Sirius took several deep breaths to steady himself, he merely turned, once composed and put his hand on Harry's shoulder. "Come on, Harry," he said. "Let's throw together some breakfast, yeah? We'll put Snape behind us for the rest of your holiday – starting now. Why don't you set the table?"

Harry nodded and walked away, still clearly irritated by Snape's visit. After he had gone, Kate leaned toward Sirius and kissed his cheek gently. "Nice recovery," she whispered.

Despite his own frustration with the Potions Master, Sirius gave her a small smile and brought his hand up to cover the ring beneath his jumper. "I promised, remember?"

Kate brought her hand up and smoothed it over his cheek. "Yes, and I'm proud of you," she said.

Sirius' face softened and he brought her hand around to his lips, kissing the palm gently. "That's what matters to me," he whispered, then dropped her hand gently and moved to the stove to begin breakfast.


	27. A Casualty in the Order

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Despite Snape's surprise and – for Sirius and Harry – unwelcome intrusion the tension among the principal residents of Grimmauld Place had lessened. Kate and Sirius were obviously back on healthier terms, which made Sirius' behavior more predictable and, as before, far more pleasant. This time around, Kate was more cautious and less inclined to be as demonstrative as she was when she and Sirius first renewed their relationship. At times when Kate was more overtly holding herself back a bit, Sirius found himself watching her from a distance, his insecurities and anxieties never too far away. On those occasions, his hand crept to the promise ring, which was, indeed, serving the purpose Kate intended. It seemed that having assured himself of its presence, Sirius could cast off some of the doubt and move forward in a more positive way than before. The one relationship that seemed to still have Sirius a bit out of sorts was his friendship with Remus. Dumbledore had sent Remus on a mission for the Order and Remus had left the night Sirius and Kate had reconciled. It bothered Sirius that he and his oldest friend had ended their conversation that night on a low note. Sirius was all too aware of the dangers of their current situation and felt it keenly when those he loved were not within arm's reach. To have unsettled business between them bothered him even more.

One evening, when they were all seated in the library, Kate suggested that they have a small party to ring in the New Year. Sirius looked up from his chessboard and smiled warmly, even as Harry captured his Bishop. "Kate, that's a grand idea!" he exclaimed. "We could decorate … shut it, you!" Sirius addressed the follow-up comment to Harry, Ron and the twins who had groaned, en masse, at the idea of more glitz and glimmer added to what was left over from Sirius' Christmas decorating scheme.

"I could make a big dinner," Molly chimed in, to which Kate added, "and I'll help you. There's no need for you to do all the work, Molly!" Even though she protested a bit, Kate knew that the two of them would lighten the workload and Kate didn't really mind Molly, despite her occasional cloying behavior toward Harry – and more than occasional condescending attitude toward Sirius. Kate knew that Molly's intentions were good and so made an effort to work around the petty annoyances…most of the time, anyway.

"Perhaps Professor Lupin will be back by then," Harry said and Sirius nodded. "It's three days away," he said to the boy. "I can't believe that even Dumbledore would expect Remus to stay away on New Years Eve!"

The upcoming party plans occupied the gathering for the rest of the evening. They discussed the guest list: the Order, of course – including Snape, at Molly's insistence, Hermione Granger, if her parents would agree to spare her – and the entire Weasley clan, including those not yet old enough to achieve Order membership. Kate and Molly put their heads together on the menu for the dinner on New Year's Day as well as party appetizers and sandwiches for New Year's Eve. Sirius weighed in on his preferences and asserted that all "libation" would be supplied by the Black family's wine cellar, which featured some lovely champagne. Spirits were running quite high by the time everyone headed off to bed. Sirius and Kate stayed downstairs for a while longer – Kate with her files and Sirius doing some research on charms that he assured her would add "animation" to their party. Intrigued, but unable to wheedle any detail from the Marauder, Kate decided she, too, had had enough and was going to head up to her room. As she gathered up her files and headed for the door, Kate found herself humming under her breath, quietly content. Sirius fell in behind her, putting his hand on the small of her back. Instinctively, Kate leaned into the touch and Sirius responded by moving his arm to encircle her waist. "Mmm, nice," she commented when Sirius nuzzled her hair.

"You smell so good," he whispered, kissing her temple and enjoying the shiver his attention produced. He kissed her again, relishing the closeness especially after their recent estrangement.

Kate turned, but her response was interrupted by the sound of a crash that came from the direction of the kitchen. Immediately, both drew their wands, Sirius stepping in front of Kate to lead the way downstairs. They moved silently, senses alert to any further sound that might indicate who or what had made the noise. Reaching the closed door, Sirius flattened himself against the stairway wall, noting that Kate did the same. He turned to her and mouthed, "On three," and, at her nod, counted off using his fingers. As Sirius finished, they both moved into the darkened kitchen, again flattening themselves along the wall to the left of the door. As they waited for their eyes to adjust to the darkness, Kate felt Sirius again step in front of her. She glanced beyond him, into the room and began to make out shapes in the dimness. A chair was overturned at the side of the table and next to it a form lay sprawled on the floor. After waiting several moments for any movement, Kate heard Sirius cast a whispered "Lumos" and then both gasped loudly at what the wand light revealed.

"Remus!" Sirius cried, springing forward. Kate muttered a spell and the candles in the wall sconces blazed brightly. Looking over Sirius' shoulder, Kate gasped. It was, indeed, Remus, although one would need to know him well to recognize him tonight. His clothing was torn in places and filthy, trousers covered with mud and a darker substance Kate knew was blood. His worn overcoat was wet and it, too, bore evidence that beneath it, the werewolf had sustained significant wounds. Kate watched as Sirius smoothed Remus' wet hair back from his forehead. He had bruising about both eyes and his lower lip bore a deep cut and was noticeably swollen. "Mooney, what happened to you?" Kate heard Sirius whisper to his friend.

"Sirius," Kate said urgently. "Remus needs medical attention – from someone who knows a good deal more than I do. We've got to get him to St Mungo's. It looks like he's lost a good deal of blood and I don't like the way his breathing sounds."

Sirius turned to look at her and Kate was startled to see tears on his cheeks. "We can't bring him there; they won't take him now that they know what he is. Snape took care of that when he told the Slytherins about Remus' condition."

Kate stood and ran to the fireplace. Grabbing a pinch of Floo powder from the container on the mantel, she tossed it into the fire and shouted, "Albus Dumbledore's office – Hogwarts!" into the green flames. Almost immediately, the white haired wizard's face appeared before her. "What is it, Kate?" he asked, noting her pallor and the anxiety on her face.

"Albus, it's Remus. He's injured very badly; he's lost a great deal of blood and appears to have a high fever. Please, can you help us?" Kate implored the head of the Order.

Dumbledore nodded. "Tell Sirius that I will come through presently. I will be bringing Poppy Pomfrey with me. She has been working on stocking healing supplies for the Order for some time. She also knows about Sirius and I trust her implicitly." Kate nodded, feeling her eyes fill as the relief of having someone to help allowed her emotions to come through. Dumbledore noticed. "Go back and sit with Sirius and Remus, Kate. We will do everything we can for him." And he was gone.

Kate walked back over to where Sirius was seated, on the floor, next to his best friend. He looked over at her as she took up her place beside him. "Sirius," Kate spoke softly. "Albus will be coming through in a moment and he's bringing Poppy Pomfrey with him." At his panicked expression, Kate laid her hand on his arm and continued, "Albus said that she knows about you, your innocence and your situation. She's been working with the Order for a while now and Albus trusts her. It will be fine – and she will help Remus. You know how she took care of him all through school. It will be fine."

Sirius nodded, then turned his attention back to Remus, who still lay motionless, as before. Sirius was stroking the werewolf's hand and watching his face for any sign of awakening. Only a few moments passed before the fireplace blazed the curious shade of green that indicated Floo travel was in progress.

Poppy nodded to Kate, who rose, gently encouraging Sirius to do the same so the Healer had sufficient room to maneuver around the werewolf's inert form. Albus tactfully guided them to the other side of the room, giving her privacy with her patient.

Sirius addressed the Headmaster, "Where did you send him, Albus?" he asked, his voice harsh. "I've seen him endure transformations that weren't this bad."

The old wizard sighed. "Remus' work for the Order is critical, Sirius, and something only he can do. Yes, it is dangerous, but all Order missions carry significant risk to us all. Remus knew the danger, but accepted it based on his belief that in the end his work has the potential to significantly improve our chance to defeat Voldemort – once and for all."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "You've sent him to the ferals, haven't you? Merlin, Albus, Grayback is out there roaming around with those packs. They're vicious and …"

Kate put her hand on Sirius back, rubbing slow circles between his shoulder blades. She saw him put his hand over his heart in an unconscious gesture that she had seen him make before. He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly then returned his hand to his side. 'I promised', Kate remembered his quiet determination as he said those words. Despite the gravity of the situation, she smiled softly as she realized yet again exactly how completely he had meant those words.

"Sirius," Albus spoke quietly. "Remus' mission is to try to recruit werewolves to support us rather than Voldemort. We know the Dark Lord has instructed his followers to entice the feral packs to his side by all possible means. The Death Eaters are promising werewolves greater freedom in the wizarding world, more power, money – things that are not possible under the current Ministry. Remus' job is to convince them that these 'benefits' will not be granted by Voldemort."

Sirius looked past Dumbledore to where Poppy was working diligently on Remus' injuries. "It would appear that he ran into some 'unbelievers'."

Poppy approached the trio with a grim expression on her face. "I've done everything I can for now. I need to transport him to a proper bed where he can rest and allow the potions to try to heal his body." She turned to Kate. "Do you have any nursing experience?"

Kate nodded. "Basic medical training as part of the Auror's program and a slightly advanced course in America. I'm not a professional, however."

Poppy nodded. "You don't have to be. I'll come back periodically and check in on his progress, change his dressings and make sure the potions don't need to be adjusted."

Sirius spoke up. "Thank you, Madam Pomfrey. I know that Remus is in the best hands possible. Can you tell us what's wrong?"

Poppy appeared momentarily flustered at his words, but recovered quickly. "I've healed broken bones in his left hand, his right leg and foot, his collarbone as well as two ribs. In addition, I've healed numerous lacerations, but the tissue is still sensitive, so the skin won't be completely fine for another couple of hours. His fever will abate over the next hour or so, I would expect, and he'll need additional blood replenishing potions throughout the rest of the night."

Sirius nodded, gravely. "When will he wake up?" he wanted to know.

Poppy shook her head. "I've no idea, Mr. Black," she said quietly. "He has a rather large bump on the back of his head which, combined with the severe blood loss, could easily result in loss of consciousness. I am concerned that he's remained unconscious throughout the treatment I've just completed. I'd like someone with him at all times until I return tomorrow to check on him."

"I'll do it," Sirius said, looking over at his friend.

Kate nodded, threading her arm through Sirius'. "We'll both sit with him."

Poppy turned toward Remus and said, "I'll need some help getting him to his room. I'll conjure a stretcher, but I'll need someone to move him with me to ensure he isn't bumped at all. Those broken bones still need some time to fully recover."

Between Sirius and Poppy, the patient was gently lowered onto a conjured stretcher after which both witch and wizard worked in tandem to move Remus up two flights of narrow stairways to his room. The trip was painstakingly slow to ensure that he wasn't jostled or subject to unnecessary motion. While they dealt with the injured werewolf, Kate and Albus set the kitchen to rights and did what centuries of Englishmen had done in times of crisis: prepared a pot of tea as a balm for overwrought nerves. Over tea, they discussed probabilities surrounding Remus' attack, for that is what they were sure had happened. They were divided, however, on responsibility. Kate was sure that the ferals had done the damage, while Albus seemed to feel that Death Eaters at least had a hand in it. When all was said and done, however, they would never really know until Remus awoke and could tell them.

"You won't be sending him back out there when he's recovered, will you?" Kate asked the Headmaster.

Albus shook his head, his long, white beard swaying along the table top with the motion. "If the packs did this to him, I can't send him back. It's too dangerous for Remus and serves no purpose. If the Death Eaters are involved, it's almost the same situation, isn't it? For a time, he'll need to focus on his recovery – to whatever extent that involves. Later, I'll assign him to research and translation projects, which will eliminate traveling and his risk of exposure. It will also – I suspect – keep Mr. Black a bit more settled. He'll not be alone quite as much."

Kate nodded. "True. I guess we'll have to wait and see what Remus can tell us when he awakens."

At that moment, Poppy appeared in the kitchen, announcing that Remus had been settled into his own bed, watched over carefully by a very diligent Sirius.

Kate smiled at the older witch. "I'd better join them – with tea," she said, picking up the tea tray and making her way toward the stairs. "I'll see you later Poppy," she called over her shoulder and disappeared through the door.

Upstairs, in Remus' room, Sirius sat a silent vigil in a chair that he'd dragged over to the side of Remus' bed. He again had Remus' hand in his own and his gaze was fixed on his best friend's face – pale from blood loss, mouth set with a pinched appearance from the pain he'd experienced. Sirius turned at a noise from the doorway and rose to take the tea tray from Kate, despite her softly whispered protest. Sirius put the tray down on the small desk Remus had situated in the corner of the room, clearing a pile of parchment to make room. He looked up at Kate and quirked an eyebrow and she nodded. Sirius set about fixing each of them a cup of tea. When each had a steaming cup, Sirius levitated a second chair to the other side of Remus' bed and the couple began their watch.

A couple of hours later, Kate awoke from an unintended nap in the hard, wooden chair. Looking immediately across the bed at Sirius, she realized what had awakened her. Sirius' face was streaked with tears and a small sob had escaped his throat; he still maintained his throttlehold on Remus' hand. Fearing the worst, Kate allowed her gaze to travel to the pillow where Remus lay. To her delight, she saw that his eyes were open and that he was looking directly at Sirius, great affection and concern in his tired eyes.

"Padfoot, don't," the werewolf whispered, his throat raw. "I'm here. I'm ok."

Sirius shook his head. "What would I have done if you hadn't made it home? What would I have done if I'd lost my brother?"

A lone tear traveled from the corner of Remus' eye and disappeared into the gray-tinged hair at his temple. "Endured," Remus whispered. "For the rest of us; for Harry." He paused and Sirius lifted his head gently and placed a glass of cold water to his lips. Remus drank for a moment then removed his lips from the glass. He caught Sirius' gaze. "That's what brothers do," he finished, lying back on his pillows and closing his eyes again – this time falling into a restful, healing sleep.


	28. Debriefings and Recovery

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Sirius insisted on staying with Remus long after he fell asleep and Kate knew better than to argue with him. Instead, she finally got him to agree that she would sleep for a couple of hours then return and take his place while he slept for awhile. Kate kissed Remus' cheek, then Sirius' lips gently and left to get some rest. Sirius still held Remus' hand and watched him intently as if he could ensure that no harm would come to him as long as Sirius remained with him.

When Kate returned some 3 hours later, Sirius was in the same position as when she had left, but his chin rested on his chest and his even breathing offered proof that finally, he slept. Kate glanced over at Remus and found him awake, a small smile on his face. Kate found herself welling up at the sight, a fact that was not lost on her friend. "Sorry," Kate whispered, grimacing and gesturing toward her eyes. "Can't help myself."

Kate reached over to the table where Poppy had placed the various potions Remus would need throughout the night. "Sorry," she said again. "I have to give you this." 'This' turned out to be a blood-replenishing potion that tasted vile, but Remus fought it down gamely. "Thank you," she whispered. Remus gestured toward the sleeping Sirius. "Is he ok?" he whispered faintly.

Kate followed his gaze then looked back at Remus. She sat down in her chair and smiled at the werewolf. "He will be. Your injuries were a shock to him. He had been worried at your absence and anxious to see you so the two of you could talk." Kate paused at the sound of a small snore from the topic of their conversation and waited until she was sure he was still asleep before continuing. "You should not be carrying on a conversation, my friend. You need your rest." Kate rose, intending to wake Sirius so he could go to his room and sleep. A hand reached out and caught hers in a surprisingly strong grasp. When Kate turned, Remus was looking at her intently. She raised an eyebrow, but sat back down in her chair. Looking over at Remus, Kate noticed a thin sheen of perspiration on his forehead. "I'll be right back, I promise," she whispered and crossed to the bathroom. Returning to her seat a few moments later, Kate showed Remus the cool, damp flannel she'd brought with her and she began to smooth it gently over his face. "You're still a bit warm," she said, after she'd dried his face, helped him drink a full glass of cold water and sat down again.

Remus nodded. "My body temperature is always a bit higher than most, anyway," he said quietly.

Kate nodded. "You look a bit better. The bruising is gone and your lip is healed. It's remarkable, really."

Remus gave her a small smile. "Accelerated healing and an elevated body temperature are both characteristics of lycanthropy."

"You're too thin and you still look exhausted. I'd like you to get some rest, Remus. Please," Kate responded, taking his other hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. While she'd been able to hold it together initially – largely to be supportive of Sirius – Kate found her emotions getting the better of her now that Remus appeared to be on the mend. Aside from Sirius, Remus was her best friend and Kate was suddenly hit with the reality of how close she came to losing him. It was almost more than she could bear and she laid her cheek against Remus' hand and began to cry. As she did so, Kate felt Remus shift his hand and place it on top of her head, stroking her hair and making very quiet, shushing sounds to comfort her. After awhile, Kate lifted her head and wiped the tears from her face with a wry smile. "Not quite fair asking the patient to provide the comfort, is it?" she whispered.

Remus lifted his hand and wiped away a stray tear. "There was a time in my life when I never thought anyone would cry because they feared losing me. Although I hate to see you cry, I cannot tell you what it means to me to have friends like you – and Sirius – to whom I mean something."

Kate sniffled. "'Something'? Remus, you mean the world to both of us. You heard Sirius. He called you 'brother'. He doesn't mean that lightly, you know."

Remus nodded and swallowed audibly. "I know." He turned and looked sharply at Kate. "I always thought it was James, you know. That he considered James his best mate, his brother. It was never a role I thought he associated with me."

"James was his best mate and a brother. But it was different – just as true siblings are different. James was his mate, his partner in crime, as it were. They plotted together, commiserated over girls, teachers, homework and OWLS together. James was also from a pureblood family – albeit a sane one – and that's where their roads forked. James never really understood Sirius, although he loved him and stood by him through everything. What Sirius – and Lily recognized was that you and Sirius were two of a kind. You – an incredibly intelligent, kind and gentle man, suffering a curse you neither asked for nor deserved. You struggled mightily to rise above it and not allow it to define who you are. Sirius was – is – a pure blood wizard, shunned by his family because he didn't accept their ideals and pure blood caste system. He was saddled with a name that didn't really apply to him, but which defined him to some people. You, Remus, accepted Sirius for who he was – as a person, not as a last name. You accepted him warts and all. That's what "brothers do", to throw your words back at you. You loved him as a brother. You became his rock."

Remus' eyes were suspiciously bright as he nodded. "As he did for me."

"As he did for you," Kate confirmed.

"Mooney?" Sirius' sleep-roughened voice drifted across the bed to them. Both Remus and Kate turned their attention to their raven-haired companion, currently struggling to awaken. When his blue eyes landed on Remus' face, Sirius was suddenly fully awake, his expression one of pure joy and relief. "Mooney!" he exclaimed, his voice cracking just the tiniest bit. Kate and Remus exchanged a small smile and Remus looked back at his friend. "Padfoot!" he replied, smiling at him, his voice still weak, but warm nonetheless.

"Mooney, how are you feeling? All healed now?" Sirius asked, anxiously. He was intimately familiar with the werewolf's accelerated healing properties from their days at school but, like Madam Pomfrey, Remus' unconsciousness had concerned him greatly. "You still need to rest, you know. Just because some of the healing has happened, it doesn't mean the process is complete. You need to lay low for awhile until you're stronger. Merlin, how long has it been since you ate?" Sirius' extreme relief that his friend seemed out of danger manifested itself in an explosion of babble. Remus gave a small huff of laughter then grimaced slightly at the strain this put on his recently healed ribs. Sirius immediately fell silent and regarded Remus worriedly.

"Ok, Mooney," he said. "No more talk. Rest. Did you take your potions?" this said with an eyebrow cocked at Kate. As she nodded, he continued, "Fine, fine, then. We'll go. You sleep. We'll be back to check on you later." And, with that, Sirius came round the foot of Remus' bed, took a very amused Kate by her elbow and guided her to the door. "Sleep well, Remus," he called, closing the door behind them.

Remus found himself looking bemusedly at the closed door for a few moments before smiling softly and closing his eyes to rest. He was already asleep when the door opened some fifteen minutes later and Sirius slipped back into the room. Settling himself in what had become "his" chair, and taking one more glance at his friend, Sirius opened the book of Charms he'd brought with him and began to read.

….

Kate went downstairs to find Dumbledore seated with Molly and Arthur, chatting over a cup of tea. He greeted Kate warmly, asking after both Remus and Sirius. Molly placed a cup of tea in front of Kate as she gave the group a quick update on the werewolf's condition. Albus expressed relief that Remus appeared to be on the road to recovery, but remained cautiously optimistic pending Poppy's examination and opinion, which would come later that day. After spending an hour or so speaking with the group of concerned Order members, Kate rose and said she was going to bring some breakfast up to Sirius – and force-feed it to him, if necessary.

"He's not eaten yet today and is dead on his feet in the bargain," she explained. "Almost losing a man he considers his brother has taken an emotional toll on him. I can't control his emotions, but I can make sure he eats."

Molly stood from her place at the table and began to fix a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, toast and coffee. Kate added some orange slices and, before she picked up the tray, leaned over and gave Molly a brief kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, Molly," Kate said, sincerely. "I know that Sirius will appreciate this very much."

Molly flushed to the roots of her equally red hair and shooed Kate out of the room with her food. "Just make sure he eats," she called after Kate. "Merlin, when that man turns sideways, you can't see him he's so thin!" she muttered to herself as she set the pans to wash themselves in the sink.

Kate approached Remus' door and opened it using a quickly whispered spell, sparing the need for her to juggle the tray while wrestling with the doorknob. As she quietly closed the door behind her, Kate gave her eyes a couple of moments to adjust to the dimness of the room before moving forward. As she set the tray on the window seat, she heard Sirius stir, then rise from his chair. Kate poured him a cup of hot coffee and was adding cream when she felt his chin on her shoulder and his arms come 'round her waist. "What have you got there?" he whispered.

"Breakfast for you," Kate replied quietly. "Eggs, bacon, toast, coffee. And you are going to sit down and consume every morsel of this food, Mr. Black."

Sirius turned and glanced over his shoulder at Remus, who slept on, completely oblivious to their presence. Kate reached up and turned his face gently toward her. "He's asleep; nothing is going to happen to him while you eat…and you must eat, Sirius. You may turn out to be the one person Remus chooses to confide in about what happened to him out there and you've got to be able to hold it together and listen to him if he does. To do that, you've got to eat and rest so you'll be better able to control your emotions. If you're run down physically, that will be more difficult to do. You know that." Kate kissed his lips gently, then handed him his coffee. "Sit down, ok?" Sirius dipped his head and kissed her again, softly but with a bit of possessiveness he hadn't shown since their initial reunion. "Ok," he said after he'd broken the kiss, taking a moment to run his tongue over his lower lip before adding. "Although I can't imagine anything on this tray will taste that good."

Kate shakily renewed the warming charms on his food and gently stepped away from him so he would sit down and eat. With a smile, Sirius did so, taking a generous mouthful of coffee. "Ah," he said, swallowing. "Perfect. If I'd had to drink one more drop of tea, I would have gone out on that ledge." He said, gesturing to the window with his fork. Those were the last words Sirius uttered until he had polished off his breakfast. He looked up at Kate, amusement in his eyes and said, "'Every morsel', Ms. Morgan; you see, I do take instructions from time to time."

Kate smiled at him. "Proof that miracles do happen."

"Now, that's a welcome sight," came a rasping voice from the direction of the bed.

Sirius almost knocked the tray off the window seat in his haste to get over to Remus and Kate shook her head, smiling, as she followed him.

"Mooney!" Sirius exclaimed, sitting down and putting his hand on Remus' arm. "How are you feeling?"

Remus' expression softened as he looked from Sirius to Kate. She dropped him a wink from her place behind the dark-haired wizard and Remus shifted his attention back to his friend. "Better, Padfoot. And I'm glad to see that you two seem to be better as well."

Kate put her hand on Sirius' shoulder and squeezed it gently. "We're working on it," she said softly. Sirius reached up and covered her hand with his own for a moment. "Yes, we are," he confirmed, glancing around at Kate for a moment.

Kate smiled at Remus. "I'll leave you boys alone for awhile. Remus, you need to keep your fluids up, so please try to drink as much water as you can. It won't be a struggle to get Sirius here to help you. When Poppy arrives, we'll see what she says about food, ok?" At his nod, she retrieved the now empty breakfast tray and headed for the door. "Don't overdo it," she called over her shoulder and in the next moment, the door clicked shut quietly behind her.

"So, you figured it out, did you?" Remus asked, grimacing as he tried to shift into a more comfortable position.

Sirius was immediately on his feet, conjuring several fresh, squashy pillows and helping Remus settle into a more elevated position against them. "There, Mooney. For the love of Merlin, ask for help if you need it! That's why I'm here!"

"Ah, thank you for clearing that up, Pads," the werewolf responded. "But you didn't answer my question."

Sirius drew his chair closer to the head of the bed and sat down. He looked Remus in the eye and spoke, "I figured it out. Now, comes the harder part … control."

Remus nodded. "You'll get there, Pads," he affirmed and Sirius nodded.

"Have to. I promised Kate – and myself," and, with that, Sirius pulled the promise ring from beneath his robes and told Remus the story of his confrontation with Kate and of their new resolve.

"I'm proud of you, Sirius," Remus said quietly when the other man had finished speaking. "Really proud of you. This is not an easy path to walk, but you're doing it."

Sirius was quiet for a moment. "Remember that night in the kitchen when Bill punched me?" At Remus' nod, he continued, head down. "What bothered me the most was when you said that I was on my own, that you were sick of trying to explain things to me. You were away for the Order so, even though Kate and I had started talking, I couldn't tell you. Remus, all I could think of was that if something had happened to you, I would always remember that our last conversation had been a bad one because I'd bollixed it up again."

"Sirius, look at me," Remus said, his voice quiet but commanding. As the other man complied, he spoke again. "I wasn't angry with you, Padfoot. I was frustrated with you…and myself. I couldn't think of anything else to do or say to help you and I was watching you lose an opportunity to regain some happiness. You've lost so many years; I just didn't want you to lose any more. Sirius, I abandoned you once – and lost you to Azkaban. I'm never going to make that mistake again, old friend."

Sirius nodded and gripped Remus' hand. "Neither will I," he said.

They were silent for awhile, then Sirius spoke again. "What happened out there, Remus? Dumbledore said he'd sent you out to the ferals. He said that your mission was to try to convince them that they should not join forces with Voldemort – no matter what he promised them for doing so. I'm guessing you ran into some opposition."

Remus lay back against the pillows and closed his eyes wearily for a moment. "Sirius, could you give me some of that water, please?" Sirius moved swiftly to pour a tall glass for the werewolf and helped steady it in Remus' hands so he could drink. Once Remus had drunk his fill, Sirius helped him to re-settle comfortably.

"Sirius," Remus said. "Could you please check with Kate to see if Dumbledore left word when he'll be back? I'd like to avoid telling this story more than once and he should hear it first-hand."

"Of course, Mooney," Sirius said immediately. "I'll be back in a moment."

As he crossed the room, Sirius heard voices from the hallway. He opened the door to find Kate, Poppy and Albus standing before him, Albus' hand poised as if to knock.

"Ah, Sirius," the old wizard smiled. "How nice to see you again."

"Albus, do you, by any chance, have any Seers in your family?" Sirius asked, glancing over his shoulder at Remus, his look incredulous.

Albus' eyes twinkled merrily. "My grandmother," he confirmed, entering the room.

Sirius closed the door behind Kate and turned to face the bed. "That would explain it, then."

After Poppy had performed several complicated diagnostic spells and had overseen Remus' consumption of several additional potions, the Healer pronounced that he was out of danger and on his way to recovery. Again, she reminded everyone that Remus was to avoid exertion and take the prescribed potions according to the schedule she put onto a piece of parchment and left with Kate. After she had left, Albus conjured a chair and moved it to the opposite side of the bed from Sirius' position.

"I'm sorry, my boy," Albus said putting his hand on Remus' arm. "You've suffered a great deal with this assignment."

"I knew the risks," Remus said, quietly. "And there was no one else to send, was there?"

Albus – and Sirius – remained silent.

"It was the pack we felt had gone to ground outside Ulster," Remus continued, his eyes closing once more. "I had begun to make some inroads with one or two newer pack members – youngsters, really. Being newly turned, they hadn't made any kind of deep connections and were more open to listening to me. Unfortunately, "more open" turned to "deeply passionate" and they decided to try to speak with a few of the older members – one of whom turned out to be Clarion Meadows." Remus paused here and looked directly at Sirius, whose eyes had widened in surprise.

"Dorcas' Meadows brother?" he asked, incredulously.

Remus nodded. "He disappeared just before James and Lily were attacked. We never found any sign of him. Fairly consistent occurrence, as you'll recall." Sirius looked grim as Remus continued. "Turns out, Clarion had gone out the night the Death Eaters had murdered Dorcas. He was looking for revenge, as you would expect; he found Greyback, who turned him. Greyback filled him full of promises – revenge for his sister, full protection from persecution and the like. He sealed the bargain by telling Clarion that Dorcas had died because the Light could not protect her. Whatever happened, the Ministry – and all who did not follow Voldemort – would perish. He convinced Clarion that the only way he could survive was to align himself with the ferals, with the Dark Lord, and enjoy the spoils of victory after the fact. Clarion allowed himself to be convinced…obviously. Both of the new members were killed, I'm not sure by whom, but I have my suspicions. Clarion recognized me, but I didn't know that until … well, let's just say that I realized too late that I'd been recognized. I'm sorry Albus. Apparently, I'm not a very convincing spy," Remus finished wearily.

"Nothing for which to apologize, dear boy," Albus replied. "You carried out your mission admirably. You could not have foreseen the existence of a classmate long thought to be dead. You did everything you could do. I thank you and want you to take time to fully recuperate from your injuries."

Remus opened his eyes and looked at the man who had truly been his mentor for so many years. "My responsibility to the Order…" he began, his voice roughened from overuse.

"Will continue with a new assignment once your recovery is complete," Albus finished. "You have given enough of yourself to this task. Rest, now. More work will come your way, I assure you. There is much for each of us to do." As he finished, Albus met Sirius' gaze, as well. "And that will include you, as well, Sirius."

Sirius nodded and turned back to Remus. He was unsurprised to see that his friend was again asleep.

"Let's leave him for now," the Headmaster said quietly. "I believe Molly has some excellent chocolate fudge cake in the kitchen and, as you know, I've been rumored to have something of a sweet tooth. Shall we?"

Kate and Sirius allowed themselves to be herded from the room by the Headmaster, turning to take one last look at their sleeping friend as the door swung closed behind them.


	29. Preparing for the Party

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

With Remus back and convalescing well, energies turned to preparing for the New Year's Eve get-together. All those invited had confirmed attendance at the New Year's Eve gathering, although it was rumored that Severus Snape had required a bit more "encouragement" from Dumbledore than any other Order member. Hermione's parents were happy to allow their daughter to stay with her friends at Grimmauld Place and she had arrived early on the morning of the 30th, ready to pitch in and help wherever she was needed. Sirius had not missed an opportunity to mention just how much happier Ron appeared to be once Hermione was in the house, and Harry had sniggered at his comment. Ron, however, had simply turned scarlet and left the room.

Molly and Kate had been working diligently to prepare food for both the New Year's Eve party and the dinner the following day. With the arrival of Hermione, Molly shooed Kate out of the kitchen and enlisted the help of both Ginny and Hermione to finish the last of the preparations. Sirius had suggested that everyone dress up for the occasion (to which Remus had dryly responded that he would arrive in "white tie and bandages"). Kate had yet to figure out what she would wear. Taking advantage of the arrival of extra hands, however, she retired to her room to finish up some work in relative peace and quiet. Once that was out of the way, she would focus on her dress for the following evening.

Working her way through the two files that remained from the workload she brought from the office, Kate had no sooner placed them back in her briefcase when there was a soft knock on her door. "Yes?" she called, turning toward the door as it opened.

A bright pink head peered round the slightly opened door. "Kate?"

The elder Auror smiled. "Tonks, hello. What can I do for you?"

Tonks came into the room closing the door behind her. As she approached Kate, the toe of her heavy boot caught the fringe on Kate's scatter rug and the young woman pitched forward, hitting the corner of Kate's armoire and swearing at the contact. "Bugger!" came the annoyed comment, as Tonks rubbed her bruised hip. "Sorry," she said sheepishly. "Mum would have my guts for garters if she could hear me."

Kate laughed. "Well, then – it's a good job that she can't, eh?" Kate paused a moment and looked at the young woman. It seemed obvious that she had something on her mind.

'Did you want to see me about something in particular, Tonks?" Kate asked settling back in her chair as Tonks perched on the end of Kate's bed.

"Yes," she exhaled gustily, her eyes changing from deep violet to a blue-gray. "Kate, I want to ask you about … well, about Remus," she paused.

Kate's face softened. Finally. "What about Remus?"

The young woman's face flushed and she twisted her hands in her lap as she began to speak. "Oh, Kate, I…well, we sort of got to be mates over the summer, hanging out with Sirius and trying to keep him entertained and happy in this great horror of a house, but now…" Tonks looked up from her hands. "Now…"

Kate smiled. "Now you feel something more for him; you fancy him, yes?"

Tonks sighed. "Yeah, I do fancy him, but it's more than that, Kate. I feel more for him than that. I think I might love him…"

"Have you told him?" Kate asked.

Tonks jumped up and started to pace. Kate wondered, absently if explosive pacing during times of high emotion was something unique to the Black family. Sirius had the routine down pat and now it appeared his younger cousin was similarly gifted.

"That's just it, Kate. I start to flirt a bit and he starts to flirt back and I flirt some more and all of a sudden – just when I'm beginning to think he actually might feel something for me too, he … bolts. Yeah, bolts. That's a good word for it. He just takes off, mumbling some excuse or other. Load of bollocks, if you ask me," she huffed, sitting back on the bed, her face dejected.

Kate leaned over and placed her hand over Tonks', to still her fidgeting. "Well, he can't very well 'bolt' these days can he?" she asked. "Tonks, if you want him, go after him. But, you're going to have to be subtle. Remus has … well, self esteem issues is probably the best way of putting it. Do you understand what I'm talking about?"

Tonks nodded. "The werewolf thing."

Kate held back a smile. "Yes, 'the werewolf thing'," she confirmed.

"But, Kate – who cares? I mean, he's only a werewolf one night a month and he takes the Wolfsbane to control it. It's not who he really is. Doesn't he deserve to have a relationship? Doesn't he deserve to be happy?" Tonks looked at Kate, her heart showing all over her face.

"Yes, Tonks, he does deserve those things. But one thing you must remember if you're to have any kind of chance at a relationship with Remus: he is not a werewolf one night a month. He is a werewolf every day of his life. He just takes the form of the wolf at the full moon. You must understand that, Tonks. The curse from which Remus suffers is something that is with him all the time. It is something he fights to control every single day of his life. Until someone actually finds a cure for lycanthropy, Remus will deal with it every day for the rest of his life. You're right, it doesn't define him. Remus is much more than the definition of his curse. He is a powerful wizard and a kind and gentle man. That you recognize this is a wonderful affirmation of him – but one that he will not accept easily." Kate stopped and considered her next words carefully, wanting to be certain she was heard, but not wishing the young woman to be so intimidated that she gave up before she gave a serious shot at convincing Remus a relationship wasn't out of the question. "Tonks, you need to pay attention to what I'm about to tell you, alright?"

Tonks nodded her face solemn.

"Right," Kate continued. "Remus never for a moment forgets about his curse. Never. I've known him for a very long time – since Hogwarts – and he's always been this way. He strives for control in all areas of his life because the wolf robs him of control one night each month. He lives in absolute terror that one night he will – at best – kill an innocent; at worst - that he will infect, but not kill, an innocent. He does not see himself as someone who can have a relationship with a woman; he feels that his condition prohibits one. Your cousin and I happen to disagree with him and have done since we were in school together, but it doesn't matter what we think; it's what Remus thinks – and feels – that matters."

"Who hurt him?"

Kate narrowed her eyes as her gaze met Tonks'. Good girl. "Just about everyone, at one time or another I imagine. In fourth year, it was a witch named Esther Mooregood, who flirted with him for two months before he finally gave in and asked her to Hogsmeade one weekend. About two months later, she accidentally got a look at his scars one Saturday afternoon when he fell into the Black Lake and had to duck behind a tree to change his shirt. That was all it took. She didn't know, of course, how he had gotten them, but those scars were horrific for her and she broke up with him. There was no one else until after we graduated. A witch from the States. She discovered what the scars meant after six months – just enough time for Remus to begin to think they might be able to have a lasting relationship. That was, perhaps, the most devastating thing to him."

Tonks wiped hastily at her eyes, clearing the moisture that had collected there. "Bitch," she muttered.

Kate smiled. "Quite. And being angry or sad on his behalf is ok; feeling sorry for him is not. He doesn't take kindly to pity."

Tonks' face showed her determination. "He doesn't deserve pity. He deserves someone to love him."

Kate rose and traveled the short distance to where the young Auror was seated, leant down and gave her a warm hug. Taking a step back and straightening, she said, "I've just one more thing to say to you: go get him!"

Tonks' smile was brilliant as she, too, rose. "I will!"

Kate put a hand on Tonks' arm as she moved past her on the way to the door. "You will need enormous patience with him. He can be rather stubborn."

Tonks made a face. "'can be'? I'd be gobsmacked if he wasn't! I'll outlast him, don't worry!"

Kate smiled. "If anyone can, Tonks, I'm sure it's you."

As Tonks made her way across the room, both women heard a soft knock on the door. Sirius poked his head in, eyes widening when he saw his cousin approaching him.

"Dora!" he exclaimed, giving her a warm hug. "What are the two of you up to?"

Kate smiled at Tonks then turned to Sirius. "Girl talk, Mr. Black. Just a little girl talk."

Tonks gave Kate a hug then left the room, closing the door quietly behind her.

Sirius caught Kate's hand as she turned back to put her desk in order. "What does 'girl talk' mean, exactly?"

Kate smiled. "Promise not to say anything?"

Sirius smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Is there any chance you'll tell me anything if I don't?"

"None," Kate assured him.

Sirius released her and placed his hand over his heart, straightened his posture and intoned, "I sincerely promise, Madam."

"Your little cousin thinks she just might be falling for Remus," Kate said.

Kate was surprised to see Sirius' brow furrow and his former teasing mood disappear.

"What's wrong?" she asked him.

"I just don't want to see either of them get hurt," he said solemnly. "They've both had enough of that sort of thing. Oddly enough, for something of the same reason."

Kate looked at him curiously. "Well, I understand Remus' relationship problems, but Tonks'?"

Sirius sighed and reclaimed her hand. "She's a Metamorphmagus. Imagine you're a not very bright bloke who discovers that he's hooked up with someone who can change her appearance – at will – to look like anyone you want her to look like. Someone who can … umm … enhance certain attributes. It would be incredibly tempting, don't you think?"

Kate sucked in a sharp breath. "Oh, Sirius, she hasn't run into idiots like that, has she?" There was sadness in her voice as she thought of the pretty, vivacious girl who had just left the room. "She's so sweet in her own right."

Sirius nodded, smiling gently at her. "Yes, she is. Unfortunately, her own self esteem isn't all that high and so when she ran into her first … idiot, she wanted to be accepted so badly that she gave in. It didn't take her long to realize that she was being used, though. I'm very happy to tell you that once she'd sussed it out, that particular wizard's voice was a bit higher than usual for a day or so."

Kate smiled. "You've got to love a witch who get her point across so clearly!"

Sirius grimaced a bit as he reached for Kate's hand again. "I'll keep that philosophy in mind when next I'm tempted to misbehave," he commented, lacing their fingers together.

"Did you come up here for any specific reason or did you just want to come up and engage in witty repartee?" Kate asked him, leaning up to place a light kiss on his cheek.

Sirius placed a soft kiss on her lips before he answered. "Specific reason, but now you're going to have to give me a moment to remember. I seem to have been momentarily distracted." Kate smiled as Sirius feigned deep thought for a moment.

"Ah, I remember now," he finally said, grinning impishly. "I wondered if you'd be my date for tomorrow evening's festivities."

Kate looked at him. "Your date," she said.

"Yes. My date," Sirius' smile became slightly less certain. "You know, we wear dress clothes, sit next to each other at dinner, share a glass of champagne at midnight. Maybe a kiss. My date."

"With everyone else there?" Kate asked, not quite able to believe what she thought she was hearing.

"Well, we could ask everyone else to have their own party in another room, but I think that might ruin my reputation as a competent host," Sirius attempted to make light of Kate's obvious reluctance. "Katie, if you don't want to, that's ok. I just thought it might be a nice opportunity to celebrate something together; as a couple. It's as close to a real date as I can give you right now, but I thought it would be something…"

Kate put her arms around his neck and silenced him with a tender kiss on the lips. It took Sirius less than a moment to respond, tilting his head slightly to give him better access to Kate's delicious mouth. She parted her lips slightly and Sirius wasted no time in gently running his tongue along her lower lip then exploring the warmth of her mouth when he received no protest. They kissed each other slowly, tenderly for a few moments, parting only when it became necessary to breathe. Sirius brought his forehead down to rest against hers. "Mmm," he breathed, softly.

Kate nodded. "I would love to be your date tomorrow evening, Mr. Black," she whispered.

Sirius smiled and rubbed the tip of his nose across her own. "Thank you, Ms. Morgan," he whispered back. "I shall call for you tomorrow promptly at 7 o'clock."

Kate nodded. "I'll be ready," she said.

Sirius raised his head and placed soft kisses on each cheek, the tip of her nose, her forehead then her lips. "I'd better go," he said. "If I don't leave now, you're going to have a bloody difficult time getting rid of me and among the many promises I made you was not to rush you. I intend to honor that," he finished. Kate nodded again and allowed him to step away from her.

"It's damned difficult," she murmured, smoothing his hair back from his face and was rewarded with a brilliant smile.

"I'd better go see what I can scrounge for "date" clothes," Sirius responded. "My old stuff doesn't quite fit the way it used to."

Kate drew a sharp breath. "Muggle or Wizard?" she asked.

It was Sirius' turn to look confused. "What do you mean?"

"Are we wearing Muggle dress clothes or Wizard dress robes?" she clarified.

Sirius' face cleared. "Oh. Hadn't thought that far. I think I've got some Muggle trousers that aren't too bad looking."

"Do you still have that white linen dress shirt you wore to James and Lily's rehearsal dinner?" Kate asked.

Sirius nodded. "Hanging in my closet," he confirmed. Kate smiled and stepped away from him.

"I believe I have something that will finish off the outfit perfectly," she said, moving toward her closet. After rummaging about on the top shelf, Kate turned with a package still wrapped in Christmas paper and ribbon.

Sirius smiled a bit bemusedly. "What's this?" he asked as she handed it to him.

"Remember that I said you had one more Christmas gift coming to you?" Kate asked. At his nod, she continued, "Here it is. And I think this is the perfect time to give it to you."

Sirius stepped away from her and sat down in the chair she had recently vacated. Giving Kate a mischievous grin, he tore the paper open and pushed aside the tissue paper beneath it. Immediately, his expression changed to one of disbelief as he stared at what he had revealed. "Katie," he whispered, lifting his gift almost reverently from the wrapping.

Kate watched him bring the dark material to his face as he breathed in the sharp scent of leather, then brushed his cheek against the softness of the shoulder. "My jacket," he said softly, his expression awed.

Kate smiled gently as he raised his eyes to look at her. "Almost," she answered. "I found this in a Muggle shop the day I ran into Remus and Harry doing the last of their shopping. I recognized it immediately as being virtually identical to the one you … well, to the old one. I thought you might like it."

Sirius placed the jacket gently back in its box and set the whole thing on top of the desk. He rose and moved toward Kate, his eyes shining, his lips upturned in a soft smile. "I love it, Katie – and you for giving it to me. Thank you," he whispered, then captured her lips in a deep kiss. "Thank you," he said again when he broke their kiss some moments later.

Kate drew a shaky breath. "I believe I should be thanking you," she said. "I guess I'd better get working on my own outfit now."

Sirius smiled before placing a brief kiss to her lips. "I would say so," he said, retrieving the box and crossing to the door. As he opened it, Sirius turned, his eyes twinkling. "But let me say that you've got your work cut out for you given what I'm going to be wearing." The last thing he heard before the door closed behind him was the sound of Kate's soft laughter.


	30. A Very Happy New Year - Part 1

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Kate stood before her armoire with only an hour left until Sirius' arrival for their "date". She was showered and wore undergarments – and a look of sheer panic. The evidence of her lack of costume was strewn around her: clothing of all shapes, designs and colors littered the floor, her bed and the desk. Hangars littered the floor of the armoire while one or two were connected, still hanging precariously from the rod – victims of Kate's frustration and temper as she pulled the garments from them. Outfits that would normally have suited any occasion had been discarded once the image of that damned leather jacket had floated in front of her mind's eye. Sirius in black trousers, white linen and leather was a vision that would be difficult to compete with…particularly if no Azkaban ghosts lurked in his mind and he managed to wear the outfit with the cocky swagger of those relatively trouble-free days just after graduation.

Kate sighed, sticking her head into the virtually empty interior for one more glance. Catching her breath sharply, Kate's vision caught something hanging way to the left of the cabinet. With a muttered 'Accio!', Kate's eyes narrowed as the lone garment skidded giddily toward her, down the metal rod. She caught it and appraised the item thoughtfully. "I wonder…" she said, sliding the fabric from the padded hangar and slipping it over her head. Kate took a deep breath and closed one-half of the double doors and exhaled slowly as her image was reflected back at her through the mirror. The dress was a vibrant crimson color – strapless and falling about an inch above her knees. The fabric hugged her curves, showing off her flat stomach and toned bottom. The sweetheart neckline rose to a point just above her breasts, the built-in bra providing definition and just enough cleavage to be interesting. Kate turned to view the dress' fit at the back and found herself looking at an equally figure-hugging image. To facilitate some ease in movement, a small slit had been cut into the hemline, at the center; obviously the designer had recognized that the presentation of this particular dress would be ruined if the woman wearing it were forced to walk like a penguin whilst doing so.

Kate turned back to face the mirror and found herself blushing slightly. Well, it's certainly a 'party dress', she thought to herself. Tasteful, if a bit revealing. Oh, bloody hell! I won't be able to wear it forever. Might as well get on with it while the body's still young enough to carry it off.

Kate moved over to the vanity in the corner of her room and brushed her hair until it gleamed, falling in gentle waves around her face and setting off her lovely complexion. She sprayed a light scent on her throat and wrists, then set about dealing with her makeup. To a tinted lotion, Kate added a light blush, some bronze shadow to bring out the copper flecks in her brown eyes and a bit of mascara to define her lashes. Finally, she reached for her customary clear gloss and held it aloft for a moment before setting it back down thoughtfully and reaching for a tube of lipstick in the corner. Pulling off the metal cover, Kate leaned closer to the mirror and applied a vibrant crimson stain to her mouth, over which she applied a coat of clear gloss. Sitting back to examine the effect, she was satisfied with the overall appearance. Finally. As an afterthought, Kate grabbed her wand and cast a spell that would set the lip stain and gloss for the night without need of reapplication. Somehow, Kate thought this particular spell would come in handy during this particular party. Kate sent the piles of clothing back to their hangars and closed the doors of the armoire. There was no point in letting Sirius in on the fact she had been absolutely frantic in her search for tonight's clothing. Kate knew she'd never hear the end of it from the man. She was just slipping into a pair of crimson pumps when she heard the knock she had been anticipating all day. Checking herself once more in the full-length mirror, Kate walked halfway to the door then stopped and quietly called, "Come in."

She held her breath as the door opened and Sirius stepped inside, closing it behind him. Kate exhaled slowly. Dear Merlin, he was gorgeous. Clearly changed from the young, carefree wizard of old, the man standing before her was a more mature and, to her mind, a far more attractive version of his younger self. As promised, he was dressed in soft black Muggle dress trousers and the gorgeous linen shirt he had worn to James and Lily's rehearsal dinner so many years ago. The new leather jacket, soft and so suited to him, hung beautifully and, as Kate had thought, was the perfect final touch to his look for the evening. He had trimmed his beard and mustache and his wavy hair fell just clear of his shoulders, thick and dark with only some silver threads revealed by the light of the candles. Having allowed her eyes to roam over him appreciatively, Kate finally reached his eyes and shivered at the almost predatory light she found in their sparkling blue depths.

"Katie," he whispered, his eyes raking a path from her soft hair to the tips of her crimson shoes. "Dear Merlin, but you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he breathed. "That dress…" he paused, swallowing loudly. "It's so…you look…I mean, I…" he stopped making any noise, but his lips continued to move. Then, Sirius took one hand from behind his back and extended it toward her. In it was a lovely, long-stemmed rose.

Kate couldn't help herself and she laughed quietly, putting him out of his misery. "Thank you," she said. "You are more handsome than I ever remember you being," Kate said, moving toward him and accepting the rose. She reached up and placed her lips gently against his, kissing him tenderly. "Thank you for this, as well," she whispered against his mouth as she ended the kiss but did not pull away. "It's lovely." Kate felt him nod, but still Sirius remained silent. Kate took a step back so she could see his face more clearly. "Are you alright?" she asked.

Sirius shook his head from side to side slowly. "I feel like I've been stunned," he said, the corner of one side of his mouth finally beginning to lift upward in a crooked smile. Sirius dropped his glance and took her in from head to toe once again. "That dress is enough to give a wizard ideas," he said. "It's almost cruel."

Kate smiled and linked her arm with his. "Well, hang onto those ideas, Mr. Black. You never know when they might prove useful! Oh – and speaking of 'useful', I must remember to thank Hermione for teaching me those warming charms for clothing. They'll come in handy tonight with this dress." Kate knew she was teasing him, but she couldn't resist.

Sirius groaned as he took her arm. "I'll tell you what, love. I'll keep refreshing the warming charms for you if you keep refreshing the cooling charms for me!" Kate laughed at his crooked smile and slightly pained expression and kissed him gently once more before taking a step toward the door. "Come on, Padfoot," she said, smiling. "Let's go downstairs and join the rest of the party-goers, shall we?" Sirius opened the door for her, then followed, closing it behind him as they stepped into the hallway.

"Bloody hell!" Kate and Sirius turned in the direction of the voice and saw Ron and Harry coming out of their room at the end of the hallway. Ron had stopped dead in the hall when he saw Kate and he was now blushing a color rivaling that of her dress.

"Pick your jaw up off the floor, Ron," Sirius chided, unable to completely hide his own smile. "The lady is taken and I believe your own woman awaits you in the library."

Harry snorted appreciatively and patted Ron on the shoulder as he passed him. Hugging his Godfather, Harry said, "Happy New Year, Sirius. You look great. New jacket?"

Sirius looked over at Kate before answering. "Turns out I had one more Christmas present to open after all."

Harry nodded, moving over to Kate. He paused with an impish expression on his face and turned back to Sirius. "If I promise to remember that she's 'taken', is it ok with you if I hug my Godmother?"

Sirius nodded and opened his mouth to make a smart remark but shut it again when he caught the look on Kate's face. She was clearly taken aback by Harry's request and there was a suspicious brightness in her eyes but her smile was soft as she looked at him. At that moment, Harry turned back and gave Kate a gentle hug, kissing her cheek. Kate put her arm around his waist and hugged him back for a moment before releasing him. "Thank you, Harry. Happy New Year to you, too." The boy nodded, then took a step back. "You look really nice, Kate," Harry said, just as Ron came up to the trio, leaning in toward Kate.

Sirius cleared his throat, making Ron jump a bit. "You can just shake her hand, mate," Sirius said. Ron nodded, swallowing audibly, but Kate would have none of it. She patted Ron's arm, then leaned up and give him a peck on the cheek. "Happy New Year, Ron. Pay no attention to my date. He can be such a possessive dog, sometimes!" With that, she headed to the stairs, Sirius and Harry chuckling together and hurrying to catch up with her. Ron trailed along behind them, his hand on his cheek.

When the foursome entered the library, there was a noticeable pause in the noise level as both Kate and Sirius underwent some significant scrutiny. Once the conversations resumed full throttle, it was the general consensus of the men that Kate looked incredible and that Sirius was incredibly lucky. The women, although loathe to admit it, found themselves a bit disconcerted by the improved appearance of the normally scruffy and sullen ex-convict. Much to Ron's consternation, Hermione found herself casting sly glances in Sirius' direction and giggling with Ginny while Harry and Ron shrugged and rolled their eyes. "It's just Sirius, you know," Ron hissed to Hermione at one point and it was the girls' turn to roll their eyes. Of course, Ron's fit of pique was in direct contrast to his tendency to puff out his chest and "swagger" a bit when he thought Kate might be looking his way. Hermione, having seen this performance three times in the space of an hour, commented, "You needn't bother preening and strutting yourself about, Ron. You forget, we all see you on a regular basis and know what you look like. I hear that even Crookshanks knows the truth." She chuckled, a slight blush rising to her cheeks.

"'The truth', mate?" Harry asked, settling in beside his friend on the settee. "Have you been swapping secrets with Hermione's familiar?" he sniggered.

Ron blushed to the roots of his hair as he retorted. "Bloody beast! Almost gave me a heart attack this morning. He snuck into the bathroom while I was … well…anyway, I looked down and there he was, standing next to me with his paws braced on the rim, staring at me, then looking down, then staring up at me, again. Blimey – made me think he was set to launch an attack!" Although no one would have thought it possible, Ron's blush deepened as he realized that he'd told his story in front of his little sister and Hermione. Standing with as much dignity as he could muster, he muttered that he was thirsty and headed for the punch bowl. Harry, Hermione and Ginny could barely last until he was out of earshot before they burst into laughter. "I hope he controls his fluid intake this evening," Ginny gasped. "If he doesn't want another encounter with your cat!" This brought on a renewed episode of mirth from the three friends who were wiping their eyes and holding their sides in laughter.

"The children appear to be having a good time," Arthur said to his wife as Kate and Sirius walked up to them, Remus in tow. "And you're finally looking better," he added, shaking the werewolf's hand warmly.

Remus smiled at his friend, in return. "We've both had a bit of an adventure this holiday, haven't we?" he asked.

Arthur returned Remus' smile. "That we have, my friend, that we have indeed!"

Sirius looked over at Remus and put his hand on his friend's arm. "I think one of our resolutions should be to have fewer adventures like those, don't you?" he asked soberly.

Remus put his hand on top of Sirius' for a moment. "Let's resolve to try, at least." Changing the subject, he took a step back from the couple and looked them over appreciatively. "Kate," he began. "You always look stunning, and tonight is no exception, but this," Remus turned and gestured toward Sirius."is nothing short of miraculous!"

Sirius put his hand over his heart, feigning insult. "Mooney, I'm crushed! You of all people should remember how devastatingly handsome I've always looked in leather!"

Remus exchanged a brief smile with Kate before responding, "It's not the leather, Padfoot. Who knew you'd clean up well enough to attract a beauty like Kate?!"

"He's got you there, cousin," Tonks had appeared at Kate's elbow and, while she spoke to Sirius, her eyes were firmly glued on Remus. Remus looked down and smiled. "Tonks, Happy New Year," he greeted her warmly. Tonks blushed to the roots of her magenta pink hair.

Sirius leaned over to Kate. "I think that's our cue to move on," he whispered, taking a moment to kiss her cheek softly. Kate shivered and nodded, letting him lead her over to where Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall were seated before the fire. They settled themselves on an overstuffed sofa conjured for the occasion and greeted the older members warmly.

"Mr. Black, you look very handsome this evening," Minerva said. "Quite different from the last time I saw you."

Sirius smiled cheekily. "Well, Minerva, I couldn't very well come to my own party dressed in rags, could I? After all, they were getting a bit threadbare in places…"

Kate brought her hand between them and pinched Sirius on the bottom. He jumped and gave a slight yelp. "You'll have to excuse him, Minerva. He's still getting used to using his 'company manners'." She graced Sirius with an indulgent smile as she removed her hand and patted his arm. "We're so glad that you both could join us tonight," Kate continued, ignoring the huff of indignation that came from Sirius as he discreetly rubbed the sore spot on his bum.

"Wouldn't have missed it for the world, my dear," Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling as he turned away from Sirius' obvious discomfort. "It's nice to take the opportunity to spend time with those we love and hold dear. I'm very happy to see so many happy faces here tonight. And you look every bit as lovely as your date, I must say," he added.

"You'll want to be careful there, Professor," Harry said, coming up behind them and settling on the arm of the sofa next to Kate. "Sirius is a little particular about compliments directed at my Godmother." It was Kate's turn to blush as Sirius gave Harry a pointed look - which the boy cheerfully ignored.

"Well, Harry, I must say that if I came to a party with a Godmother as stunning as yours, I would be particular, as well," the Headmaster commented, giving Sirius a small wink and deftly ignoring Minerva's "tsk" at his comment.

"I think we've probably exhausted this particular topic," Kate said, smiling at the Headmaster. "Perhaps we can find something else to chat about."

The group fell into a lively discussion about underage magic and all the rules prohibiting its use. At one point, Kate looked up and was surprised to meet the cool black-eyed gaze of Hogwarts' Potions Master. Standing just inside the entrance to the library, alone, looking incredibly out of place, Severus Snape was sipping from a glass of wine and using his icy glare to repel anyone who attempted to speak with him. Kate smiled to herself. Let's see what he does with me. Excusing herself from the group, Kate made her way over to the Professor, noting that his eyes tracked her progress the entire length of the room.

"Severus," Kate said, extending her hand to him. "I'm so glad that you decided to join us. Happy New Year."

Snape looked pointedly at her extended hand then back into her face. He made no move to touch her. Kate sighed, but refused to give in. "It's a hand, Severus," she said to him quietly. "It isn't poisonous, nor does it harbor any thorns. You simply grasp it in greeting. I promise you'll come to no harm and I will not create a scene."

After gazing at her for a moment, Severus took her fingers in his hand for the briefest of moments, then let go, his gaze never leaving her face. "I'm assuming that satisfies your odd desire for contact with me," he said.

"It was a handshake, Severus, not an invitation to snog me," Kate said, smiling wryly. "How are you?"

"Irritated at being called from my own rooms and occupations to attend a party," Snape replied, his voice oozing disdain. "I am not a social creature, Ms. Morgan."

Kate pursed her mouth in mock surprise. "Really, Severus? I had no idea. I thought perhaps your invitation said, 'Black tie and attitude'. I can see you ignored the first, but remembered the latter." As he made to turn away from her, Kate reached out and put her hand on his arm. "Wait. I'm sorry. That was uncalled for." Kate felt the muscles tense beneath her hand, but she was determined not to let go until she had convinced him of her regret. She maintained eye contact with him, allowing him to penetrate her mind and showing him the truth of her feelings. Soon, he withdrew and Kate felt him relax. He inclined his head, but said nothing further.

"I remember you from school, you know," Kate said, breaking the silence.

"Yes, well, anyone who chummed around with Black and his cronies would undoubtedly remember at least some of their favorite victims," he said, his voice bitter.

"I never thought what they did to you was right," Kate said, softly. "They were idiots, full of themselves and interested only in being 'Lords of the Manor' – the righteous and mighty Marauders." She paused. "But people grow up, Severus. People change."

"Not them," Severus replied stubbornly. "Not him," he added, thrusting his chin in Sirius' direction.

"Severus, that's not entirely fair. He was a total bastard to you back in school, I realize that. I remember it. But twelve years in Azkaban have had an impact on his development – surely you realize that. His positive memories have all disappeared and all he remembers is the negative, the bad. Not his choice. Until they come back to him – as they've started to do, his emotional progress won't resume," Kate reasoned.

Severus looked at her for a long while. "Do not expect me to pity anything that has happened to him," he said.

"I don't, Severus, really. Sirius will deal with what's happened to him. I just had hoped that perhaps there might be a time when you stopped resenting them so much. You have such a shared history, after all. And…we're all on the same side here."

At that, Snape looked at her sharply. This time, Kate blinked. "You only get one bite at the "Legilimency" apple, Severus. I don't appreciate mind-intrusion without permission. I won't permit you to do it at your own whim. I'd like you to trust me - or to at least give me the benefit of the doubt."

Severus regarded her less coldly for a moment. "Trust can get you killed, Ms. Morgan."

"It can also give you the protection of friends, Severus," Kate returned.

Severus glanced down at his arm, where her hand still rested. "If you'll excuse me," he said softly, meeting her gaze once again. "I believe I'll make Dumbledore aware that I have, in fact arrived so that I may depart again."

Kate removed her hand. "Happy New Year, Severus."

This time, he nodded to her and then made his way to speak with Dumbledore. As she watched him go, Kate caught Sirius watching her from his place near Minerva. She smiled at him and beckoned him to join her, which he did.

"Exchanging secrets with Snivellus?" he growled, his arm encircling her waist possessively.

"No, Sirius," Kate replied, leaning into him. "We were just talking. He's such a lonely man. I feel very badly for someone who is so bitter about life."

"Well, he's made his own bed, let him lie in it," came the response.

Kate turned and picked up Sirius' free hand, placing it on his chest where the Promise ring rested. "Remember, Sirius. Sometimes people make choices in the heat of a moment and their lives follow a path they find difficult to alter. I believe you know something about that. And how much courage it takes to make a decision to try. Perhaps not everyone is free to make their own promises – to make their own decisions about changing their lives."

Sirius was silent for awhile, then leaned down and kissed Kate gently. "I can't help how I feel about the man, Kate. I will try to be less obvious in front of you – and others."

"Thank you, darling," she said, returning his kiss quickly.


	31. A Very Happy New Year - Part 2

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Sirius was silent for awhile then leaned down and kissed Kate gently. "I can't help how I feel about the man, Kate. I will try to be less obvious in front of you – and others."

"Thank you, darling," she said, returning his kiss quickly.

(End of Part 1)

Part 2

A slight commotion behind them caused Kate and Sirius to turn in the direction of the doorway. It didn't take long to see the cause. The first thing Kate saw was the woman: young, slender with white-blonde hair and "up to the minute" fashion. The second thing that came to her was her voice: modulated, mid-range and with a French accent so thick you could cut it with a proverbial knife. The third thing Kate sensed was Sirius, tensing next to her, for behind the young Frenchwoman stood a tall, rangy redhead.

"Bill!" Molly's voice rose above the buzz of conversation in the room as she made her way over to her son – and the young woman who accompanied him. Kate was certain that only those looking closely at the older woman would have noticed the momentary shift from smile to frown that disappeared as soon as it came.

Bill Weasley came toward his mother and hugged her tightly. "Happy New Year, Mum," he said, smiling. "Say hello to Fleur. You remember her, right?"

It was certain from the look she gave the young woman that she did, indeed, remember her. Nevertheless, Molly pulled it together and greeted Fleur with more warmth than Kate would have thought possible. The naturally cool young woman was not overly responsive, but it was clear that she was doing her best in what had to be an awkward situation. As Molly greeted Fleur, Bill caught Kate's eye and moved toward her. Kate felt Sirius take a step back and she reached her hand behind her to catch his. It was a fleeting touch as Sirius withdrew his hand quickly and moved over to the large front window, where Remus and Tonks were chatting with Harry.

Kate sighed. "Happy New Year, Kate," Bill said kissing her cheek quickly.

"Happy New Year, Bill," she replied smiling at him.

Bill stepped back and looked at her appraisingly. "The word 'Wow' comes to mind," he said, smiling. "You look great in that dress," Bill added.

"Thanks," Kate said, flushing a bit. "It seems to have been a solid hit." Her attention drifted over to where Sirius was standing and she saw him turn his gaze back to Harry. It was obvious that he had been watching her interaction with Bill.

"You're not wearing your ring," Bill observed, his own attention shifting back from the group by the window to Kate.

"No," she replied. "But we're together; we've started over again."

"How many more clean slates do you have in you, Kate?" Bill asked quietly, eyes flashing dangerously.

"As long as we're making progress, as many as it takes," Kate replied. "I made my original commitment long ago; I've just renewed it." She paused, holding his stare, her eyes as hard as steel. "You're my friend, Bill. I care about you and I know that you're speaking from concern and affection for me. But don't ever assume that you have my permission to speak against Sirius – to his face, to mine or to others. And never, ever make the mistake of forcing me to choose between your friendship or my relationship with him; you will be very disappointed in my decision." As she finished speaking, Kate felt a slight, warm pressure on her shoulder. Bill's eyes shifted from Kate to a point behind her.

"Katie, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I wondered if you'd allow me a few moments alone with Bill?" Sirius' voice was quiet but determined.

Kate turned to look at him and found his expression to be equally determined. "Sirius, I don't…"

"It's alright, Kate," Bill said, not breaking eye contact with Sirius for all that his comments were addressed to her.

Sirius nodded, squeezing Kate's shoulder lightly before allowing his hand to fall to his side. "Shall we?" he looked at Bill and gestured to the open library door. Bill turned to speak briefly with Fleur, and then followed the older wizard into the hall, closing the door behind him.

"I won't keep you away from your lovely young lady for very long, Bill," Sirius began, once the two men had walked a distance from the library doors. "I wanted to apologize for my behavior the last time we spoke. I was out of line, Bill and bloody rude besides. I hope that we can put this behind us." With that, Sirius extended his hand to the other man and waited for his response.

For a moment, none came. Then, Bill reached over and grasped Sirius' hand firmly in his own. "On one condition," he said. "That you accept my apology for the damage I did to your face."

Sirius smiled, and brought his other hand up to touch the previously injured eye. "Wasn't permanent, after all." Bill smiled in return.

"Kate told me that you're back together," Bill said. "You know that she's my friend. I only want her to be happy."

Sirius nodded. "That's something we share, then. Shall we rejoin the others before Kate calls Poppy Pomfrey to come tend to our mangled bodies?"

Bill laughed. "She would, too, wouldn't she?" At Sirius' nod, he began to walk back toward the library, Sirius falling into step with him. As Sirius reached for the door handle, Bill commented, "Nice jacket, mate."

Sirius smiled as they re-entered the room. "So I've been told," he replied.

As the two men walked into the room, Kate looked up and smiled when she saw that neither appeared any worse for the wear. Sirius dropped her a quick wink and placed his hand on the small of her back briefly as he walked past her on his way to speak with Harry. Kate suppressed a shiver and returned to her conversation with Tonks, her eyes following Sirius' progress across the room.

The party continued as the clock crept closer and closer to midnight. Sirius and Kate crisscrossed the room, visiting and laughing with friends individually as well as joining each other in smaller groups. Whenever they were in closer proximity to each other, their hands would brush or one would briefly lean against the other. They continually sought to touch one another, as if to reassure that they were there, in this space, together.

With ten minutes to go until midnight, the toasting responsibility was turned over to Remus. As Sirius said, his best mate had most recently faced the challenges that would be presented to them all in the coming months. This therefore qualified him to offer a toast that would speak to their hopes. "Besides," Sirius finished, picking up his glass and placing his free arm about Kate's waist, "Remus was always the most eloquent of all the Marauders."

Face slightly pink, Remus nevertheless stepped forward and raised his glass, encouraging everyone in the room to do the same. "Well, I don't know if what Sirius says is exactly true. I suspect that I only seemed more eloquent than my mates because I was the one left to try to talk our way out of detentions caused by the pranks dreamed up by both James and Sirius." Gentle laughter rippled through the room as Sirius called out, "Easy, Mooney, remember that I've a few tales of my own to share…if pushed!" Remus chuckled and inclined his head toward his friend. "Point taken, Padfoot, point taken. All joking aside, Sirius is more than correct – about the difficult times ahead of us. We know they are coming, so there's no need to dwell on them tonight. Instead, tonight is for celebrating the good things in our lives – our friends," Remus paused and allowed his eyes to sweep the room, landing on Sirius, Kate, the Weasleys, Snape – who had been persuaded to stay at least until the toast had been concluded and, finally, Tonks, whose smile lit up the room. "our families," and Remus looked directly at Sirius, whose eyes filled. "And all those whom we love. It is a night to affirm our commitment to each other and to peace in our world – for once and for all. That is my wish for us all. Happy New Year!" Remus lifted his glass higher. "Cheers!"

"Cheers!" chorused all those in attendance, as the clock began chiming the midnight hour and, with it, the dawn of a new year.

Kate and Sirius each drank from their goblets, then Sirius reached over and took hers from her hand, placing it gently on the bookcase next to him. "Happy New Year, Katie," he whispered, pulling her into his arms, not caring who might see them. "My Kate," he whispered into her ear.

Kate wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "Look at me," she said quietly and Sirius complied, looking intently into her eyes. "I love you," she whispered, smiling softly. "Happy New Year." Sirius leant down and captured her lips, parting them after a moment and kissing her deeply, tightening his hold round her waist and pulling her to him until there was no discernable space between them. He broke the kiss only when the need to breathe became too desperate to ignore. Resting his forehead against Kate's, he allowed the tears to fall. "I've longed to hear those words from you again. Thank you, my love," he murmured.

Kate kissed him again, gently, tenderly, bringing her hands from his hair and clearing the moisture from his cheeks. "I love you," she said again, resting her cheek against his and closing her eyes for a moment. She felt Sirius lift his head and, when she opened her eyes he was smiling down at her. "Perhaps we can continue this later?" he asked, his voice and expression uncertain.

Kate nodded. "Come to me tonight," she said simply and was rewarded with a radiant smile and a nod.

"Kate, Sirius, Happy New Year," Harry came up to them, smiling. Each hugged the boy in turn, wishing him the same and relishing this chance to be together – as family – for the first time in so many years. They huddled together for a moment then others approached them to exchange good wishes for the new year. Kate and Sirius were separated by well-wishers, finding themselves embraced by friends and Order members. When Kate found herself standing in front of Remus, he simply opened his arms and she walked into them, hugging him tightly. "Happy New Year, Remus," she whispered. "I am so glad you're here."

Kate felt his arms tighten around her as he kissed the top of her head. "Happy New Year, my very dear friend," he said. "There is nowhere else I'd rather be." A tap on his shoulder drew his attention away from Kate and he looked down to see Tonks standing at his elbow. Kate hugged him briefly, whispering, "Go," in his ear and turning to hug Molly.

After the good wishes were exchanged and the last of the champagne drunk, guests began making their goodbyes. Many were returning the following afternoon for the large dinner party for which Kate and Molly had been preparing. Sirius stood at the front door, quietly seeing his guests out. Kate had been chatting quietly with some of their friends at the foot of the staircase, but decided to give in to her sore feet and head to her room to get rid of the absurdly high heels she wore. Catching Sirius' eye, she motioned to the stairs and smiled softly when he nodded. Kate slipped off her shoes and skipped up the stairs, her heart lighter than it had been since Christmas.

Once in her room, Kate swiftly stripped off her clothing and headed for the bathroom, making quick work of her shower. Applying a drying charm to her hair, Kate strode to her room and opened the armoire for the second time that night. This time, however, the costume she chose would be for Sirius' eyes alone. Still bearing the tags from Harrod's in London, the elegant, diaphanous negligee had been purchased just after she and Sirius had completed their Auror training. Voldemort's escalation of attacks against Muggles had postponed the trip they'd planned to celebrate. Kate had packed away the soft, black garment never dreaming it would be so many years before she reached for it again. Kate vanished the tags with a wave of her wand, allowed the towel to drop to the floor and slipped the silky garment over her head. Looking at herself in the mirror, Kate caught her breath. The silky black material set off her creamy complexion perfectly. The bodice hugged her breasts and flowed out and to the floor in soft folds. Kate brushed her hair and applied her favorite cologne – behind her ears, at her wrists, collarbone and between her breasts. Tonight would be the night she had planned for them so long ago and she wanted it to be perfect. Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock at the door.

"Come in," she called quietly and Sirius entered the room. Closing the door and turning to face her, Sirius' eyes widened as he took in the sight of her standing in the center of the room, smiling softly at him.

"Hello," she said.

Sirius cleared his throat. "Hello, yourself," he croaked.

Kate swallowed a chuckle, thrilled with his reaction. Summoning her wand, Kate conjured a glass of ice water and gently guided it through the air to him. "Perhaps this will help," she said.

Sirius had enough of his wits about him to smile wryly at her and plucked the glass from the air deftly, downing the contents in one go. Inclining his head in thanks, he vanished the empty glass and took a step closer to her.

"This is the second time this evening that you've rendered me speechless," he said quietly. He waved his hand toward her negligee. "I thought the dress you wore earlier was beyond belief but this…well, you have outdone yourself."

Kate smiled and reached for his hand. "I'm glad you like it," she said. "I bought it such a very long time ago, before everything fell apart. I never dreamed it would take this long to show it to you." Kate tugged gently on his hand in an attempt to pull him closer, but to her surprise and dismay, Sirius stopped her.

"Kate, believe me, there's nothing I want more than to make love to you. Merlin, you've no idea what you're doing to me right now," Sirius spoke the last part in a rough voice. "But there's something I need to do first. Please, sit down."

Kate nodded and sat on the edge of her bed, relieved when Sirius sat next to her. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek gently before beginning to speak. "Darling Katie, I promised that I would never lie, never withhold anything from you, even if it meant that doing so would cause you pain. Remember?" At her nod, he continued. "I feel as if we're really starting over now, especially after tonight. When you asked me to come to you tonight, I realized that this is the true beginning for us – and I want to come into it without any baggage from before. I don't want anything left over from the time when we weren't speaking, weren't together. Am I making any sense at all?"

Kate nodded and took hold of his hand, lacing their fingers together. "Sirius, you can tell me anything, you know that. Please, tell me whatever is on your mind. I promise I'll still love you, no matter what it is."

Kate watched as Sirius took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. He opened them and squeezed Kate's hand lightly, looking directly into her eyes. "There's one more thing I need to tell you about the night you told Harry who you are. You know that I was out of my mind with anger and with the fear of what Harry would think of the news, right?" Kate nodded. "Well, I did something the following morning that I'm not proud of, Katie. It was my blasted pride, my bloody temper. Katie, I threw your photo album in the fire. It's gone. I'm sorry, Kate; I'm just so very, very sorry. Please forgive me." Sirius' face was as earnest and as sincere as Kate had ever seen him. She felt her heart fill with emotion for this man as she listened to the words that poured from him. Gently taking her hand from his, she began to rise.

"No!" Sirius cried, reaching for her hand again.

"Shhh," Kate hushed him, and then leant down to place a gentle kiss on his lips. "I'm not going far." Kate crossed to her dresser and opened the top drawer. She pulled out the photo album she'd placed there the day Harry had returned it to her and shut the drawer quietly. Turning to go back to Sirius, Kate caught her breath when she saw him just sitting on the bed, his head down, hands resting open in his lap. Oh, Sirius, after all we've been through, do you think I'm going to leave you now?

Kate stood next to him and placed the photo album in his hands then resumed her seat.

Sirius' head shot up and he looked at her, a stunned expression on his pale face. "Where…I don't understand. Kate, I threw this into the fire! How did you…"

"Harry," Kate said quietly, reaching for his hand again. "He apparently picked it out of the grate and took it to his room. He gave it to me later that morning," she explained.

Sirius' face was horrified. "Harry? Oh, Katie, not Harry. What must he think?"

Kate brought her hand up to cup his cheek. "Sirius, darling, it's ok. He realized that you were upset. He was coming back into the library to place the album in the room because he was certain you'd think things over and come back for it. He didn't judge you or think less of you. He just wanted to put it where you could find it."

Sirius nodded. "I'm sorry, Katie. I didn't mean to hurt you." Sirius looked at her for a long moment then turned his face into her palm, placing a warm kiss on her skin. 'I love you", he whispered against her palm.

"I know," Kate replied. "I love you, too." And with that, she gently moved her hand from his cheek to his hair, threading her fingers through the silky waves. Applying gentle pressure, Kate pulled his face closer to hers and kissed his mouth. Her kisses were tender, gentle but quickly increased in intensity as she felt Sirius respond to her. Kate felt Sirius' tongue sweep her bottom lip and she parted her lips to give him entry. Immediately, Sirius' tongue entered her mouth, exploring her moist warmth.

"Katie," he murmured against her lips when he broke the connection. Sirius brought his hands up to cup her face. "I love you." He kissed her gently. "I love you … I want you … I need you."

Kate nodded and scooted until she was sitting in the middle of her bed. Sirius followed pressing against her until she was lying propped against the headboard. He leaned in and kissed a path from the shell of her ear down her neck to her shoulder and to the front of her delicate collar bone. His fingers slid the spaghetti strap of her gown down her arm and he kissed her shoulder and down to the front of one partially exposed breast. Encouraged by the quickening of her breath, Sirius repeated the pattern with the other strap, soon gaining full access to breasts. Caressing the creamy skin of one, Sirius devoted himself to pleasuring the other with his mouth, laving the dusky nipple with the flat of his tongue before capturing it between his lips and sucking insistently. As Kate began to shift her hips against the sheet and make small mewling sounds of pleasure, Sirius would switch, until Kate thought she could orgasm from these attentions alone.

When she didn't think she could take much more, Kate gently lifted Sirius' face so she could see into his eyes. He raised his eyebrows in silent inquiry. "I want you," Kate whispered. "I want you on top of me, inside me. Please, Sirius." In response, Sirius slid upward, straddling her hips and kissed her tenderly. "Yes, my love. Anything. Everything. Always." He rose, quickly removing his clothing and soon stood naked before her, the evidence of his arousal erect and straining away from his body. Kate slid from the bed, slipping the gown over her head and tossing it onto the floor. Sirius gazed at her body for a moment, then closed the distance between them, swept her up in his arms and deposited her back on the bed. Sirius gently lay on top of her, leaning down to kiss her eyes, the tip of her nose and, finally, her lips. "My angel," he breathed. "Oh, Katie – how I love you." His voice was strained and Kate knew he was as close to the edge as she. She lifted her hips, shifting them in a circular motion, earning a strangled groan from the tortured wizard above her. "I love you," he whispered again, his voice rough.

Kate caught his eye. "Show me," she whispered. Sirius braced his weight on his forearms and slid inside her with a single stroke. The heat radiated around his swollen member and Kate reflexively clenched around him. It was almost his undoing. He began to thrust, long, slow, deep movements that only served to steadily build the fire within them both. Kate brought her hands from his back to his bottom, clutching the firm flesh and urging him to speed up his movements. "Faster," she whispered, tossing her head on the pillow. "Oh, Sirius, faster!" Sirius brought his arms beneath her and brought her with him as he fell backward onto the mattress, never breaking their connection. They groaned at the sensation and Sirius thrust upward twice before sitting up and settling Kate in his lap.

"Sirius," Kate breathed, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him deeply. "I love you." Sirius returned the kiss, his hands in her hair, stroking the back of her neck then dropping to her bottom, squeezing and kneading the flesh as Kate moaned, tossing her head back. Sirius brought his lips to her throat, kissing and sucking the tender flesh. His breath was harsh and ragged and interrupted with sharp gasps and deep moans as he thrust into Kate's tight heat in rapid thrusts. He was close and he knew she was, too. Sirius brought his lips to her ear. "I can't last much longer, love. Are you ready?"

Kate nodded, kissing him, sucking and nibbling his lower lip wantonly. "Please. Now. I need you," she breathed.

Sirius' hips pistoned at a furious speed and white lights began appearing behind his eyelids. He felt Kate stiffen and forced his eyes open to watch her face. Her eyes met his and widened as she felt her orgasm hit. Crying out his name, Kate climaxed, emotions and physical sensations combining into the most powerful release she could ever remember. She felt tears slide down her cheeks, Sirius' name on her lips. Sirius continued to stroke, kissing her neck, her ear, her lips as she began to come down. He'd held on as long as he could and with a final kiss and deep groan, Sirius felt himself release deep inside her. He called her name over and over as the waves crashed through him. Kate cried out again at the feeling of warmth at her center and Sirius dropped his hand between them and began to massage her nerve center in time with his own thrusts and she climaxed again, their eyes locked. Finally, their movements began to slow and they exchanged gentle kisses and caresses as their heart rates returned to normal. Sitting, wrapped in each other's arms, Kate shivered, feeling the chilly air of her bedroom against her moist skin.

"Hang on, love," Sirius rasped as he slipped out of her and lay next to her, sideways, on the mattress. He grinned lazily at her. "I can't face moving, can you?" When she returned his smile and shook her head, Sirius pulled the coverlet from where it was tucked into the bottom of the mattress and held onto it, rolling toward Kate and wrapping them both in its warmth. "Better?" he asked and felt her nod against his shoulder.

"Sirius?" Kate murmured, kissing the side of his neck softly.

"Love?"

"I love you." Kate kissed him again. "So much," she finished, sleepily.

Sirius felt his eyes fill as incredible warmth spread through his chest. "Oh, Katie, I love you – always."

"Always," she whispered and they both drifted off into sleep.


	32. A Little Panic Before Breakfast

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Sirius opened his eyes and, just for a moment, felt a twinge of panic at finding himself in total darkness. As he more fully awakened, Sirius became aware of a weight across his legs and the soft, warm breath of another person fluttering against his neck. Sirius turned his face toward the warmth and his cheek brushed against something soft. He inhaled deeply. Kate. He smiled, turning onto his side so he could face her.

"Accio wand," he murmured then "Lumos minimus," when the wand flew into his hand. In the resulting soft light, Sirius settled in to watch Kate as she slept. He moved a lock of her hair away from her cheek and leaned over to drop a light kiss in its place. Oh, Katie, I love you so much, he thought, feeling his emotions begin to overtake him. I will do everything in my power not to lose you again; not to hurt you again.

"Sirius?" Kate's voice broke into his thoughts. "Darling, what is it?" Kate pulled her arm out of the warm cocoon of the comforter and drew her hand over his cheeks.

"I'll never break my promises to you again," Sirius whispered, catching her hand and placing it over his heart. Kate felt the curve of her Promise ring against her palm and the warmth of Sirius' hand over hers. "I'll never make you want to leave me," he said, leaning down to kiss her lips.

Kate brought her free hand around to the back of his neck and held him in place as she returned his kiss. "I know that, Sirius. I trust you," she reassured him, her voice soft, but strong. "I love you."

Sirius gazed into her eyes for a moment, then spoke. "Why? What could I have possibly done to earn your trust; your love?"

Kate gently moved his hand away from his chest and picked up the ring, holding it in the palm of her hand. "You promised," she said, simply, watching his face. "And you're working to keep those promises. You walked away from Severus earlier, you apologized to Bill," Kate propped herself up on her elbow. "Sirius, I can't imagine myself ever 'wanting to leave you'."

Sirius dipped his head and captured her lips with his own. "I can't imagine my life without you in it. Not again."

Kate gently pushed against his shoulder until he was again lying on his back. She rolled on top of him, entwining their legs, moving upward to look him in the eye. "I want you to listen to me, my love – and I want you to remember this. I will do anything to keep you with me, to keep you safe – to keep us safe. Anything. No exceptions. No discussion. I love you. I gave you my heart a very long time ago and I have no intention of taking it back. We have a future together, a future that should have started long ago. I will not lose that future again. Understood?"

Sirius had locked his gaze to hers and stared deeply into her eyes while she spoke. Now, he nodded once. "Good," Kate said, smiling down at him. "Now, I would very much like to stop talking and kiss you." Sirius nodded again, returning her smile. "Good," Kate said again and leaned down and kissed him deeply, her tongue sweeping inside his mouth, teasing his palate and stroking along his tongue, eliciting a deep moan from her very aroused lover. Breaking the kiss, Kate lifted her head to look at him. Sirius' eyes were half closed and his lips were slightly swollen and red from their kisses. With one more nibble to his bottom lip, Kate threw the comforter away from their bodies, rose to her knees and then swung one leg over him so she was beside him once again.

Sirius grabbed her hand. "Why did you…" Kate silenced him with a kiss, and then settled herself between his legs, her face close to his erection. She tenderly kissed the moist tip and Sirius groaned loudly, winding his fingers in her hair. "Katie," he rasped.

Kate smiled, then took him in her mouth gently, her hand wrapped around the base of the thick shaft and for several long minutes, Sirius writhed under her attentions, stopping her only when he knew his release was imminent. "Katie, stop. Oh, please, baby, stop," he groaned harshly and Kate released him with another soft kiss and slid up his body to his mouth, her legs straddling him once again. Panting harshly, Sirius pulled her down into a deep, passionate kiss, his hands stroking her back, the length of her arms, then back again, mindlessly. He pulled his mouth away and rubbed his nose against hers, trying to regain some semblance of his control. "I need you," he groaned and Kate nodded, rocking gently against him, igniting both of them with the friction. "Now," he groaned again. At that, Kate sat up then raised her hips. Sirius reached between them and grasped his aching cock, lying flat against his stomach. Positioning it for her, Sirius hissed as Kate sank down on him, enveloping him in tight, wet heat. "Sirius," Kate whimpered, rocking her hips and relishing the feeling of his girth filling her. Sirius fought to keep his eyes open, loving the sight of what he could do to this woman – loving the feeling of what they could do to each other. Sirius watched as Kate threw her head back and closed her eyes, her hands rising to caress her own breasts and her breath coming in short, harsh pants. He reached up and captured her hands in this own, pulling her down to him for a deep kiss. When Kate pulled back, they looked at each other for a moment. "Ride me," Sirius breathed. "Ride me, Katie. Please, baby. Don't stop." Kate kissed him once more then lifted her body and slammed back down onto him, eliciting deep moans from them both. She continued her hard, rhythmic pattern, feeling Sirius thrusting up to meet every single downward movement and their gasps and moans filled the room. Soon, Kate began to feel the coil of passion deep in her core that signaled her release. She stiffened and felt Sirius do the same as her internal muscles clamped around him in orgasm. He released, spasming deep inside of her, his warmth filling her completely. When it was over, Kate pitched forward, lying on top of Sirius, whimpering as the aftershocks continued to wash over her. Sirius kissed the top of her head over and over, whispering words of love. For the second time that night, he drew the comforter around them both as they drifted into a sated sleep.

A few hours later, it was Kate who awakened to a heavy weight across her stomach and a black curtain over one eye. Smiling to herself, Kate reached up and moved Sirius' hair away from her face and, sight restored, gently lifted what turned out to be his arm from her waist. Thus freed, Kate rose quietly and made her way into the bathroom. Washing her hands, Kate glanced in the mirror above the sink and recognized that for the first time in weeks, there was little strain in her face; she looked at peace. She smiled. Well, what do you know, she thought to herself.

Kate padded back to her bed and saw that Sirius had not moved. They had fallen asleep lying across the bed – again – and had awakened in the same spot. With the approaching dawn, the room was chilly and Kate longed to slip between the sheets, put her head on her own pillow – and fall asleep with her arms around Sirius. To do that, however, she would have to wake him up. Kate sat on the edge of the bed closest to Sirius' head. She leaned over and began threading her fingers lightly through his hair, rubbing his scalp gently as she did so. She was rewarded with a … well, a purring sound from the sleeping wizard's throat and had everything she could do not to burst out laughing. She kept stroking his hair, however and, eventually, Sirius began to stir. He reached up and grabbed her wrist, holding it for a moment while his eyes forced themselves open and he blinked her into focus.

"Kate? What's ah-mattah?" he yawned his way through the last word, finishing it with a kiss to her hand.

"Very attractive," Kate said dryly. "Almost as appealing as that little purring noise you were making in your sleep."

Sirius eyes had begun to close again but Kate's last comment not only got his eyes wide open, but it got him into a sitting position, as well. "Madam, Padfoot does not … purr," he could barely bring himself to spit out the word.

"Well, my darling, whilst I was stroking that gorgeous hair of yours, that was the noise you were making. Purring. Deal with it," Kate patted his cheek. "Now, do you think we could actually get into my bed? That is why I risked the wrath of Sirius and woke you up, you know."

Sirius stood up and together they restored order to Kate's bed, which had become completely disorganized as a result of their previous activities. Soon, the couple had settled themselves beneath the covers and Kate had her wish – she had Sirius in her arms.

"I love you," she whispered to him.

"I love you back," Sirius murmured.

They were quiet for awhile and Kate felt herself drifting toward sleep again when Sirius spoke. "You know, the last time we were together like this, there were presents."

Kate rose up, bracing herself on her elbow, and looked down incredulously at him. Sirius was struggling bravely to keep his eyes closed and his face unreadable, but he was failing miserably. When Kate remained silent, he partially opened one eye and broke into a grin.

Kate couldn't help herself and she chuckled along with him. "You are so twelve years old," she said.

Sirius laughed. "After what we did tonight, Madam, you had better hope I'm older than twelve!"

Kate reached under the covers and pinched his bottom – hard.

"Oi!" Sirius cried out. "That hurt! I think you might have hit a bone there…"

"Oh, stop being so dramatic," Kate chided him, smiling. "You're fine. And you've put some meat on those bones, so don't try pulling that whole "prisoner of Azkaban" bit on me, ok?"

Sirius sighed deeply then smiled. "You could kiss it and make it better, you know."

Kate laughed. "I think you'll heal without such dramatic treatment."

Sirius closed his eyes. "Yes, most likely. But, it will take longer."

Kate burst out laughing and rolled her eyes. "Well, then. You'd better close those eyes and get some sleep so the healing process can start straight away. 'night." With that, Kate turned on her side, facing away from him … and waited for his reaction. She didn't have to wait long. A moment later a cold nose nudged her ear and a long tongue swiped the side of her face. "Hey," she cried out. "That's disgusting!" She brought her hand up to shield her face and was relieved seconds later when a decidedly human hand captured hers, kissing her palm. Kate turned onto her back to see the slightly less fuzzy face of Sirius looming over her. "That's better," she said, squeezing his fingers.

"Aren't you sleepy anymore?" Kate asked him a few moments later.

Sirius shook his head. "I don't sleep as much as I used to," he said. "But I'd love to hold you while you sleep." He drew Kate into his arms, resting his cheek on top of her head. "Mmm, this is nice," he murmured and felt Kate nod.

"This whole night has been wonderful," Kate said quietly, kissing his shoulder. "I don't want anything to come between us again. I don't want to lose this – ever."

Sirius kissed her hair. "Nor do I, my love. Sleep now. I'll let you make me breakfast when you wake up again."

Kate felt his shoulders tremble with laughter. "Big of you, that. I suppose you'll want a large meal."

"Oh, yes. Full English should hit the spot. After all, I burned a great many calories tonight. I'll need to replace them and store up additional reserves against similar activities in future," he explained, his voice very solemn.

"Ah, I see. And it's up to me to provide the nourishment, is it?" Kate asked, amused.

"Only logical. After all, it's your fault that I need it."

"My fault?" Kate shifted so she could see his profile in the semi-darkness of the pre-dawn room.

"Just so." Sirius nodded emphatically. "You, after all, benefitted from the…um…activities. It's your duty."

"My duty...," Kate rolled onto him and stared down into his very amused face.

"Now, Katie," he said, smothering his smile. "As much as I'd love another go, I'm afraid you've quite worn me out. Perhaps after breakfast, I can accommodate you. For now, perhaps we could just cuddle until the sun comes up."

"Ohhh, you blighter," Kate's voice rose. "If you think…" her tirade was cut off by a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" Sirius called, as Kate struggled to remove herself from her position on top of Sirius, but found that she was hopelessly tangled in the bedclothes.

"Remus," came the quiet response from the hallway.

"Sirius, shut up. He knows this is my room!" Kate said, still trying to extricate herself from the sheets.

"You're only making it worse you know, twitching around like that. And of course he knows this is your room; and now he knows I'm in it!" Sirius' face was gleeful as he continued, louder than before, "Don't stand out there 'til you wake up the entire household; come on in, Mooney. We're practically decent."

Kate's expression went from murderous to an attempt at polite as she turned her face to the door in time to see Remus, hand over eyes, enter and close the door behind him.

"What can we do for you, Mooney?" Sirius asked, jovially.

Remus' smile could be plainly seen beneath the hand that covered the top part of his face. "Oh, just a couple of things. First of all, if the two of you would agree to stop this childishness, I'd be willing to make you both breakfast. That's right – I heard you. My room is right next-door, after all. Which leads me to my next observation. Kate, you are a powerful witch and Sirius, you are an enormously powerful wizard. I would have thought that, between you, you could manage a good silencing charm. If last night was any indication, you've both lost the ability. I'd recommend that you spend some time in the library refreshing your memories. I love you both dearly, but if I hadn't cast an imperturbable charm a few hours ago, I would be completely unable to face the two of you at dinner later. Point made?" Kate was scarlet, and had buried her face in Sirius' shoulder when Remus reminded them that he slept in the room next to hers. Sirius, however, had maintained a clear view of his best friend's face and had noticed that his smile had never wavered at any point in his speech.

"Point made in spades, Mooney," Sirius grinned boyishly. "We'll be sure to cast all the appropriate spells from now on."

Remus couldn't hold back a chuckle. "So, full English, is it?"

Kate groaned. "I'm never leaving this room again," she said, her voice muffled by Sirius' shoulder. "Just slip some toast under the door every now and then. Some thinly sliced beef. I'll drink water from the bathroom tap. Really."

Sirius laughed out loud. "Oh, come on, Katie girl. It's not as bad as all that. It's not like we've destroyed the man's innocence! Why, I remember a time when Remus and I were stationed in that pathetic little hotel over in Aberdeen – remember, Mooney? What an awful mission. Probably why I can still remember it. Anyway, Remus had hooked up with this corking little blonde who had a thing for his moustache. He claimed that she was likely a spy and he was trying to get some information out of her. Well, I don't doubt he was trying to get something from her, but it's the first time I've heard it called 'information'. One night, when he thought I'd be on guard duty, he brought the sweet little cherub back to the room and…"

"I give, Padfoot," Remus interrupted, dropping his hand in his panic then covering his eyes again, quickly. "No more, please. We'll just let last night go, then. Never talk about it again. I'm not even sure I heard anything – could have all been a dream. I'll just go make breakfast. Really, Kate, no harm done, right? Right, then…" and his voice grew faint as the door closed and his footsteps resumed down the hallway.

Sirius was lightheaded with laughter. "There. See, love? Everything's fine, now. Like Mooney said, 'no harm done'! Where's your sense of humor?"

"Sirius Black! If you don't help me out of this bloody bed sheet, there will never be any 'harm' done to you ever again!" Kate had gone right back to murderous. "I've never been so embarrassed in my whole life!"

"Really?" Sirius asked. "But you said the same thing the time Lily and James walked in on us in the beach cabana when we were all staying in Brighton that weekend after graduation. Really, we aren't very discreet, are we?"

Kate finally extricated her legs from the sheets and rolled onto the mattress. She now stared at Sirius in sheer exasperation. "That bloody memory of yours is certainly random, isn't it? How is it that you can remember that?"

Sirius shrugged, still smiling. "Well, obviously you don't remember it. James burst in, Lily right behind him. He turned to her and told her just how wrong she'd been about how no one would ever have the gall to shag in a public beach cabana. Apparently, he'd suggested it and was soundly turned down. In retaliation, the woman hexed my bits …"

"…bright green," Kate finished, smiling. "Yes, I do remember now. Matched your eyebrows. Stayed that way for a week. Merlin, that woman was creative!"

"Well, it's easy for you to appreciate her, she didn't hex you!" Sirius retorted. He reached over and ran his fingers through her hair. "There. Better now, yeah? Not planning to kill poor old Padfoot in his sleep, right?"

Kate smiled and shook her head. "It's against my better judgment, but no. You've earned a reprieve." She sighed and nodded in the direction of the window. "Well, I might as well shower and get dressed. Sun's coming up now."

Sirius threw back the covers and made to follow her. Kate turned and put her hand against his chest. "Uh-uh. Stay. Remember, you don't have any strength left."

Sirius sat back down on the bed. "I might be able to summon just enough to…"

"Nope. Wouldn't want to weaken you to the point where you couldn't enjoy the holiday. Besides," Kate paused at the door, robe in hand. "You can use this time to think of a really good silencing charm." Winking at him, she walked into the bathroom and closed the door between them.

Sirius chuckled, then called to her. "Hey, Katie girl. Open the door for a minute."

Kate stuck her head round the door a moment later, eyebrows raised. "What now?"

"I was just thinking that it probably did Remus a lot of good if he did hear us last night."

Kate's face colored at the thought and she rolled her eyes. "And just how might that be?"

Sirius waggled his eyebrows and grinned evilly. "Might just tweak his mind enough so he remembers how it's done. You know – so he doesn't disappoint Tonks!"

Kate rolled her eyes again, but laughed along with him as she retreated back into the bathroom and a very hot shower.


	33. Real Life Resumes

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

The balance of the holiday passed uneventfully, with most of the New Year's Eve partygoers returning for a large dinner the following day. Kate and Sirius were noticeably closer, the fact of which did not go unnoticed by anyone present. Although everyone was happy that the couple had picked up the threads of their previous relationship and was working to re-establish it completely, there was an underlying tone of caution. Sirius was so much better now than before, but everyone – including Kate – understood that his healing process, both physical and emotional, would take time.

On the Saturday before everyone was due to return to school, Dumbledore contacted the Order with details of the security assignment for Harry's trip to King's Cross. Remus, Tonks and Mad Eye would represent the security detail; Kate would remain behind, with Sirius. It was hoped that his improved mental and emotional state combined with Kate's presence would preclude a trackside appearance by Padfoot. While saddened at his continued inability to move freely about, particularly where Harry was concerned, Sirius took the news fairly well. He hated seeing Harry leave, but his renewed closeness with Kate dispelled some of the anxiety and depression he slipped into when faced with being alone in the house that represented so much pain for him.

On Saturday evening, Kate and Tonks taught Sirius, Remus and Harry how to play poker, a game to which Remus had already had some exposure but about which the other wizards knew nothing. Initially, they played with Bertie Bott's Every Flavored Beans, but when Sirius kept stealing and eating pieces from Tonks' winnings, that plan failed. Tonks came up with the very bright idea of charming some of the candy into Muggle poker chips, which worked much better. When everyone got the hang of the rules, the level of noise – and fairly raucous commentary – rose as play became very competitive, indeed. When Sirius regaled them with some particularly lewd commentary after Remus won a hand with what he gleefully declared was "two pair", all sense of decorum was lost. From that hand onward, the Muggle playing cards were subject to a great deal of scrutiny and suggestive comment by the master of the house and his cousin – no stranger to off-color stories in her own right. By the time midnight rolled around, the entire party was ready to pack it in, citing laughter-induced muscle aches and sore throats.

"Why don't you head upstairs, Katie girl?" Sirius suggested. "I'll put the room to rights and come along in a little bit." Kate agreed, stopping for a lingering kiss and warm embrace.

Sirius snuggled her closer and smiled when he felt her lips on his neck. "I'll be right along, you know. You'll hardly have time to miss me," he teased.

Kate's hand snaked downward to give her favorite response to his bottom, only to encounter a hard, flat surface instead of the slightly rounded, firm shape she'd come to expect. She leaned backward to look at him and found Sirius grinning down at her.

"And just what is this?" she asked, returning his smile.

Sirius took a step back from her and placed both hands behind his back. With a bit of tugging, he soon exclaimed, "Voila!" and, with a flourish, brought his hands back into view. Each of them held a back issue of Witch Weekly, magically reduced in size to provide the required, two-sided coverage. Kate looked at him for a moment then collapsed into peals of laughter. She reached forward, removed the magazines from his hands and pitched them over her shoulder as she walked toward him. Sirius chuckled and embraced her loosely. "Let that be a lesson to you, Madam. A smart wizard is always prepared for all manner of attacks to his person … especially to those parts of his person that are frequently subject to unsavory attention," he followed his comment by kissing her soundly and releasing her.

Kate's eyes sparkled. "'Unsavory attention', eh?" she teased. "Well, why don't you hustle said body part upstairs and I'll see if I can't focus some savory attention on it, hmm?"

Sirius smiled, his blue eyes darkening as he looked at her lovely face, her slightly kiss-swollen lips and considered her offer. Merlin, I love this woman, he thought to himself as he leaned forward and dropped a quick but tender kiss on her lips. "I'll see you shortly and will fully expect to collect on that promise," he whispered then watched as Kate crossed the room, turning and waving saucily before making her exit.

Sirius was still smiling a few moments later when he magically reduced the fire to embers, extinguished the candles and walked out into the hallway. As he moved toward the stairway, he noticed that there was light coming from the doorway where the Black Family Tapestry was kept. Curious as to who might be inside – and suspecting Tonks – Sirius made his way to the door and was surprised to see Harry standing there, examining the tapestry that covered the entire periphery of the room.

"Harry," he greeted his Godson softly, hoping not to startle him and dismayed when he saw the boy jump slightly. "Sorry," Sirius said. "I was on my way to bed and noticed the light. So you've found the Tapestry, have you?"

Harry looked at his Godfather somewhat ruefully. "I didn't mean to pry, really. I saw Kreacher coming out of here and I realized that I'd never really noticed this door before. I just…sort of…wanted to check it out."

Sirius placed a warm hand on the boy's shoulder and brought his face down until he could catch Harry's gaze. "There's nothing to apologize for, Harry. We're family, after all…well, you and I at any rate. The majority of these lunatics disowned me long ago and the only ones who didn't had already been disowned themselves." He felt a chill go through him as some of the dark memories of his childhood, though splintered, popped into his mind. Sirius shook his head as if to clear them and found Harry again looking at the Tapestry.

"Why are parts of it scorched?" he asked, turning to face Sirius once again. "I can barely make out your name."

Sirius smiled grimly. "My mother did that the day she disowned me. I was 16 years old." His face took on the lost look of a child who, unloved by those who should have loved and nurtured him unconditionally, was finally cast out to make his own way – at an age when he should have been concerned only with careless things, not his own survival.

Harry reached out and grasped Sirius' arm. "Where did you go?" he asked, his voice tight.

Sirius blinked and brought himself back to the present, smiling at Harry softly. "Your dad's. He and your grandparents took me in and I lived with them as if I was another son. I guess in many ways, they considered me so; I was grateful beyond words for them all. In fact, your grandfather was so incensed at my parents that he personally came here to collect my belongings – pulled together by Kreacher, of course. My parents decided that even touching my things put them in too close proximity to my traitorous self for their liking. I never set foot in this house again until Dumbledore accepted it as headquarters for the Order. Since my escape, it's been about the only useful contribution I've been able to make." His voice was bitter as his sense of uselessness began to creep back into his emotions.

Harry shook his head and stepped forward to wrap his Godfather in a warm embrace, which, after a moment, he felt him return. "That's not true, Sirius. You are my family. Even with all the crap happening at Hogwarts, I never forget that you're here – that I finally have a family other than those bloody Dursleys! The thought that I can come here and be with you – and now with Kate, too – gives me something to look forward to. I can get on the train at the end of the year and be like every other kid and, for once in my life, look forward to summer holidays. Maybe that's not the kind of contribution you think is very important, but, Sirius, to me, it's everything!" Harry felt Sirius tremble slightly and he tightened his arms around him, trying to make the older man understand what he was trying to say. After a moment, he felt Sirius' hand at the back of his head, stroking his hair and returning the stronger embrace. Then, their connection was broken as Sirius took a step back and looked at Harry with eyes that were suspiciously moist.

"I promise you, Harry, when all of this is over, we will be a proper family," he vowed, his voice clear and firm. "We won't live here – in this hideous house. We'll find someplace where there isn't any darkness, there's no dark past to contend with. We'll be happy."

Harry nodded, smiling shyly. "The three of us," he said.

Sirius smiled in return. "Well, we'll have to ask the lady, but I hope she'll still have me," he said.

"Don't worry, she will," Harry reassured Sirius, who nodded.

"We'll see," he said. "Now, you'd best get off to bed. You've a long trip ahead of you tomorrow and classes start the day after."

"Yes, Dad," Harry joked and rolled his eyes. Sirius, however, caught his breath at his words. Dad. He felt his throat tighten. He knew Harry was just teasing him about his over-protectiveness, but he really did have that responsibility now. He had taken on the role that James and Lily had set for him.

"Sirius?" Harry's anxious voice permeated Sirius' thoughts. "Are you alright?"

Sirius started slightly then fixed his gaze on Harry's face as he brought an arm up to encircle his shoulders. "Yes, yes, of course. I'm fine, Harry. Just woolgathering a bit," he responded. "Off you go, now," and he gently steered Harry toward the door.

Harry reached for Sirius' arm, giving it a squeeze as he walked toward the door. "Good night, Sirius," he said.

Sirius covered Harry's hand with his own. "Good night, Harry," he said quietly.

He watched Harry up the stairs then leaned back into the room to grasp the door handle. Giving one more grim look at the room that housed his family's damnable pureblood history, he closed the door firmly and headed to his own bedroom where Kate was waiting.

XXXX

Kate looked up from her book when she heard the door open. Just one look at Sirius' face told her that something had happened. Noting his closed expression, Kate decided not to push it. She knew this man well enough to know that he would tell her in his own time and that asking before he was ready to speak would often drive him in the other direction. Kate fixed a smile on her face.

"Good evening, Mr. Black," she said warmly. She turned back the covers on the opposite side of the bed. "Care to have me read you a little bedtime story from this book of Charms and Spells I found? I'm all the way up to the section on silencing charms," she added, waggling her eyebrows up and down.

Sirius smiled at her but shook his head. "Maybe tomorrow," he said, heading to the bathroom. "I'll be right back."

Kate marked her place in the book and with a wave of her hand, lowered the brightness of the candles in the room. This isn't good, she thought to herself, sliding down into the bed and waiting for Sirius to come back.

After a few moments, Sirius slipped into bed next to her. He reached over and gathered her into his arms and Kate felt the relief sweep through her. She cupped his cheek with her hand and kissed him tenderly, enjoying the contrast between the warmth of her lips and the minty chill of Sirius'. "You taste like candy, Mr. Black," Kate murmured against his lips.

"Can't go to bed with unclean teeth," he responded with a ghost of a smile.

Ok, let's see if I can get his mind away from whatever is bothering him. Kate smiled, and then kissed him again, more passionately this time, allowing her hand to roam downward, beneath the covers, until she reached the waistband of his sleeping pants.

"Kate, no," Sirius quiet voice sounded in her ear. "I'm sorry, I just…" his voice trailed off.

Kate withdrew her hand, her cheeks slightly pink. She kissed his cheek and lowered her head back to the pillow.

"Please don't be angry with me," Sirius whispered, turning his head to face her and tightening his hold on her waist.

Kate moved closer to him. "I'm not angry with you, darling – not at all. A little embarrassed, maybe, but definitely not angry."

Sirius sighed and Kate felt his warm breath against her face. "Don't be embarrassed, either. I love it when you touch me; I love it when you initiate lovemaking, really I do. Really." He smiled at her.

"I believe you," she replied. "What happened downstairs? This is more than an irrational fear for your behind, I suspect."

"Harry found the Tapestry Room," he said. "We had a bit of a trip down memory lane – well, my memory lane anyway. You know that's seldom a happy voyage, especially in this hell hole." Sirius grimaced and shivered involuntarily.

"I know, darling," Kate said, stroking his arm tenderly. "How extensive was the trip?"

"He found my name and asked why my face – and so many others – had been 'scorched'. I told him about how I'd been disowned at 16 and taken in by his grandparents and father," Sirius turned on his side so he could face her. "I told him about how James' father had come her personally the next day to collect my things from my parents. You should have seen Harry's face, Katie. He looked so indignant on behalf of my 16 year-old self – and so proud of his father and grandparents – none of whom he ever knew." He signed, sadly.

Kate leaned over and kissed him gently. "You do know that every story you share with him brings him closer to them, right? Every memory you can recall for Harry helps him know his family – including his 16 year-old Godfather. That is a precious gift, Sirius – and one that very few people can give that boy. And it's a gift to you, as well. It's one more memory you've recaptured. I know that being disowned isn't a pleasant memory at all…but finding a home where you were loved – a real home – is the happy ending to that unpleasantness. You know all of that, right?"

Sirius reached for her hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed her fingers then clasped them tightly against his chest. "I do. They were my family; they loved me." He watched as Kate's eyes filled and a single tear slid over the bridge of her nose, across her cheekbone and onto her pillow. Sirius' brows drew together. "What is it, love?"

Kate brushed at her eyes before answering. "You have absolutely no idea how young you looked and sounded just then. If your parents weren't already dead, I think I'd just have to kill them, myself for what they did to you all those years," she said furiously. "I think my new goal is to figure out how your dear old Mum managed to permanently stick that bloody portrait to the wall and undo that blasted charm!"

Sirius smiled at her. "Maybe we'll do that together one day. For now, we've got a bigger fight ahead of us. We've got to defeat him for good this time, Katie. We've got to!"

Kate nodded. "We will, darling. And then, we'll be together – the three of us."

Sirius' brows rose. "Harry said much the same thing to me downstairs."

Kate smiled. "Great minds. And your response?"

"I told him that we'd have to ask the lady first and see if she'll still have me," he said, his cheeks darkening a bit. "Harry basically told me that I didn't have anything to worry about. Of course, he doesn't know about…" his voice trailed off and he brought her hand over to rest on the Promise ring. Sirius' eyes searched her face.

Kate squeezed his hand. "You should listen to your Godson more and worry about this less. Don't you think we're doing ok together?"

Sirius moved closer to her, swinging his leg over hers to strengthen their connection. "I do, but we agreed to move more slowly this time." He smiled, wryly. "Although we don't seem to have taken "slowly" to heart in every aspect of our newfound relationship, do we?"

Kate laughed softly. "Hmm, no. I would have to agree with you on that point. But, we are moving slowly in terms of making sure we both can keep our promises. There will be hard times down the road. We both know that. Because our physical intimacy is restored doesn't mean that we're rushing headlong into declaring that everything is fixed. I think we're working really hard to make sure we stay on track and we've been successful so far. Right?"

He nodded, kissing her softly. "I do love you, Katie-girl," he whispered. "I worry sometimes, though." Sirius paused.

"Tell me," Kate said quietly. "Remember, you promised that you'd tell me if you were afraid or anxious and we'd work through it. No secrets, right?"

Sirius took a deep breath. "Right. No secrets – ever. Ok. Tonight, as I was hustling Harry off to his room, he sort of rolled his eyes at me and referred to me as 'Dad'. Now, I know he was just teasing me about being overprotective of him, but it struck me that now, that's the role I play in his life." He took another breath and met Kate's eyes. "It made me realize that I can protect him no more effectively than James can – now. I'm stuck here. I can't get to him if he needs me. I can't even take him to the bloody station tomorrow – or pick him up for holidays. What if we never find that bloody rat, Katie? What if my name is never cleared? Whether or not you'd have me could easily be a moot point. If I'm not free, I have nothing to offer you – even if you were willing to be with me permanently. Katie-girl, what if I never get the chance to have a son of my own? What if my name is cleared when I'm just too blasted old to have a child? What if Harry is the only chance I have and I can't even parent him properly? What if…"

Kate cut him off by pressing her lips to his – hard. Sirius felt a tear land on his cheek and when he opened his eyes, he saw that Kate was crying. "Oh, Katie, I didn't mean to make you cry," he said, smoothing her hair back from her face.

"Then, shut up," she said, her breath hitching. "You listen to me, Sirius Black. Stop borrowing trouble. You can fill a room with "what ifs" and they don't mean a bloody thing because we can't control them. All we can do is drive ourselves mad worrying about all the options in our lives. You protect Harry by staying safe. He knows you're alive. He knows you're here. He knows you're innocent. He knows you're his family." Kate paused when she saw a sheepish expression flit across Sirius' face. "Oh, he told you that, did he?" Sirius nodded. "I repeat: you should listen to your Godson more! We will catch Pettigrew. We will clear your name. Wizards and witches live extraordinarily long lives, Sirius. There will be plenty of time for us to decide whether or not we'll have children – and how many. Stop with the "what ifs" and focus on the here and now. You are no longer in Azkaban. You are free of the Dementors. Yes, you are back in this mausoleum, BUT it's better than Azkaban, isn't it? You have Harry, Sirius – and he knows the truth! You have Remus – and he knows the truth. You have me, Sirius – and I know the truth. And I love you. And I'm not leaving you. That's the here and now, my love. Focus on that, yes?"

Sirius' eyes had not left hers throughout her comments. He was enthralled by her passion; it radiated from her in waves and revived him – reawakened his strength to fight. He reached up and placed his hand on the back of her head, gently directing her closer to his face. "I love you," he whispered against her lips, and then silenced them both with a long, tender and passionate kiss.

When they broke apart, Kate murmured, "I love you – with all my heart."

Sirius nodded then gave her a mischievous smile.

"What?" Kate asked, cautiously, smiling at him.

"I think I might be ready to collect on that promise you made to me earlier," Sirius said, pulling her on top of him.

"What a coincidence," Kate whispered. "I suddenly have an appetite for "savory" attentions…"

With a deep chuckle, Sirius captured her mouth in a passionate kiss. "I love you, my Katie girl."

"I love you, my darling. Now, shut up and let me pay my debts," Kate said against his lips and with a nod from a very aroused wizard, she did just that.


	34. Mirror, Mirror

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

The following morning found the occupants of Grimmauld Place gathered – once again – round the large table in the basement kitchen. Harry and his security detail were tucking in to a very large breakfast, cooked by Remus and Sirius, themselves. Molly and her brood were back at the Burrow, pulling themselves together for the return trip. Ron had sent an owl to Harry with a description of plans to meet up with Hermione at the station and settle in for the long trip back to school. Once breakfast had been eaten and the table cleared, Sirius caught Harry's eye and, smiling, gestured to the doorway. When Harry joined him, Sirius said, "I have something for you. Let's slip into the library for a moment, yeah?" At Harry's nod, Godfather and Godson ascended the staircase.

Once in the library, Sirius closed the door and reached into his pocket, withdrawing two velvet pouches. Smiling, he gave one of the pouches to Harry. "Open it," he instructed.

Harry did so, withdrawing a medium-sized, rectangular mirror. He looked up quizzically at Sirius and saw that his Godfather held the mirror's twin in his own hand.

"Your father and I came up with these in our 5th year," Sirius explained. "We charmed them so we could communicate with each other when we were serving separate detentions. You see, it didn't take too long for the professors to figure out that if they really wanted to make detentions mean anything to us, they had to make sure we were separated."

Harry grinned. "Well, obviously, the two of you figured out a way around that arrangement, didn't you?"

Sirius laughed. "Yes, although I don't believe they ever quite figured out how we did it." His face took on a more thoughtful look as he continued. "Harry, until Pettigrew is captured and my name cleared, you know that I'm pretty much stuck in this house. I can't get to you if you need me and communication with me through the Floo network isn't exactly safe. I'm afraid I'm not doing you much good as a guardian at this point in time," Sirius paused and Harry drew a deep breath. Sirius knew he was about to protest, so he put his hand up to stop him. "Harry, I know what you're about to say and, no, I didn't forget everything you said to me last night. I will never forget those words; believe me. But early this morning, I remembered these mirrors and realized that there is a way that you can communicate safely with me. So, I'm giving one to you and keeping one for myself. If you need me for anything, you can always reach me."

Harry's face lit up and he smiled. "Brilliant! How do they work?"

Sirius laughed. "You simply hold the mirror in your hand and say my name. It's charmed to warm when you do. If I'm with other people, I'll feel the temperature change and be able to go somewhere safe to speak with you. All I have to do is remove it from the pouch and hold it in front of my face and repeat my name. We'll then be able to see each other in our respective mirrors. If I need to reach you, we follow the same process, only in reverse. Once we're finished, we simply say, 'Finite' and the connection will be broken."

"Sirius, that's really brilliant! But, wait…," the smile left Harry's face as he put the mirror back into the pouch and secured the drawstring.

Sirius' face fell. "What is it, Harry?"

"If someone gets hold of this, can't they reach you? Isn't this dangerous for you?" Harry started to hand the pouch back to his Godfather.

Sirius put his hand over Harry's and gently pushed the pouch back toward the boy. "Harry, no. This poses no danger to me. Once you use the mirror, it activates the security charm that I've cast; the mirror will not function for anyone but you, Harry."

Harry sighed in relief and withdrew the mirror from the pouch. "Sirius", he said quietly.

The mirror in Sirius' hand warmed and he smiled and nodded at Harry. "Sirius", he repeated. Harry's smile told him that the charm was working perfectly – as did the reflection of the boy's face in the glass.

"Finite," they both said simultaneously and watched as their respective mirrors became blank once again and began to cool.

Harry looked up at his Godfather and Sirius' was touched to see tears in the boy's eyes. "Thank you, Sirius," he said, pocketing the pouch and embracing the older man. Sirius hugged him tightly and whispered, "Believe me, Harry, it's my pleasure. This way, I'm always there for you."

Harry drew back and looked into his Godfather's eyes. "You always have been, Sirius. I knew that before you gave this to me. Remember what you said to me the night you escaped with Buckbeak? 'The ones who love us never really leave us. We can always find them right here'," and Harry rested his hand over Sirius' heart. "That doesn't just mean Mum and Dad, you know – at least not to me. It means you – and Kate, too. It's just that with the mirror, I can actually have a conversation with you." He smiled crookedly and stepped back. Sirius' head was down and Harry wanted to give him a few moments to bring his emotions under control. Soon, Sirius brushed at his face, straightened his shoulders, lifted his head and looked at Harry. "Thank you, Harry," he paused for a moment and then took a deep breath and said, quietly, "I love you."

Harry smiled. "I love you, too, Sirius," he said.

They embraced again then Sirius patted Harry's back and began walking toward the door with him. "It will be time for you to leave soon," Sirius said quietly, then stopped before the closed doors. "Harry, you know that there's no love lost between Sna…between Professor Snape and me. What Dumbledore has him teaching you this term – Occlumency – is critical for you to learn. I can't stress that enough, Harry. If Voldemort actually has the ability to somehow connect with your mind, it is imperative that you learn to block him. Despite everything I might think of him, Snape's a brilliant Occlumens. And don't think that's an easy statement for me to make, either," Sirius smiled at the boy then grew somber again. "Use that mirror whenever you need me, Harry. It might be a useful way to blow off steam from your lessons with Snape; but if you do nothing else, pay attention to him and learn what he's been instructed to teach you, yeah?" Sirius looked Harry squarely in the eye and was rewarded with a nod.

"I promise," the boy said. Sirius squeezed his shoulder once more then reached for the door handle.

"Oh, one more thing," Sirius said before he opened the door. "My mirror is also keyed to recognize Kate, as well. The link is to my name so she can pick up a call from you if I am unavailable for some reason, such as when I'm with Remus during full moon, for example. One inconvenient thing about Padfoot – no hands." Sirius smiled and opened the door, letting Harry pass into the hallway ahead of him.

Harry turned. "Thanks, again, Sirius."

Loud footsteps were heard pounding up from the kitchen and both turned to see Mad Eye, Remus and Tonks – in those damnably heavy boots of hers – come into the hallway.

"Almost ready, Harry?" Remus asked, smiling.

"Yeah, sure. I'll just go and get my trunk," the boy responded, giving Sirius one more smile before heading up the stairs.

"Ok, Padfoot?" Remus asked softly.

Sirius gave his friend a rather sad smile. "Not really, but I will be. Travel safely, Mooney," he said, heading for the stairs to the kitchen – and Kate.

"Not sticking around for the departure, Black?" Moody asked, gruffly.

Sirius paused at the head of the stairs and turned. "Already said my goodbyes to the boy, Mad Eye; I don't need to watch him walk out the door, as well." With another sad smile, Sirius disappeared down the stairs.

XXXXXXXX

Kate was just putting the last of the dishes in the cupboard when Sirius came into the kitchen. She saw that his eyes appeared a bit red and knew that departure must be imminent.

"Everyone gone, then?" she asked, closing the cupboard door.

Sirius cleared his throat. "Just about. Did you say goodbye to Harry?"

Kate conjured two mugs of coffee and sat down next to Sirius. "Yes. While you and Remus were wreaking havoc with the eggs," she responded with a smile. "Are you ok?" she added, placing her hand on his arm gently. They both paused as they heard the front door close above them.

Sirius looked over at her and covered her hand with his. He shook his head, "It's hard to see him go," he said sadly.

"You sent him off with his contraband communication device, right?" Kate smiled, sipping her coffee and trying to distract Sirius' thoughts from the now almost empty house.

Sirius snorted lightly. "Yes, yes. Trained him up and everything." He looked over at her. "Contraband, indeed!"

Kate shrugged. "Well, they are, you know. Not that I wouldn't have done the same thing!"

Sirius smiled at her. "Well, that's a good thing, Madam, because, after all – your name is keyed to mine so you could answer a call from Harry if I wasn't able to do so!"

Kate's eyebrows rose. "Really? That was good thinking. Although I can't imagine a situation when you wouldn't have it with you!"

Sirius chuckled, his mood improving to the point where he almost felt triumphant that he'd out-thought her. "Think 'full moon', Katie-girl. Last time I checked, Padfoot had neither pockets nor hands."

"True. Shows you're slipping a bit, though." Kate chuckled as he snorted indignantly.

"'Slipping'?!" Sirius exclaimed. "Explain yourself!"

"Well, I just thought that a big, powerful wizard such as yourself would have figured out a way to reduce the mirror to a size that could hang off a dog collar." She eyed him over the rim of her mug, eyes twinkling merrily.

Sirius' blue eyes narrowed. "Obviously, Madam, you've not been paying attention. Padfoot does not wear a collar!"

Kate set her mug on the table and rose, swiftly covering the distance between her former seat and the door. With one foot on the bottom stair, she turned back to Sirius. "Yet," she said pointedly and, before he could move, Kate bolted up the stairs at breakneck speed. Checking behind her to see how quickly Sirius might be gaining on her, Kate felt herself run into something very solid at the top of the stairs. Two strong hands caught her by the shoulders, steadying and keeping her upright.

"'Slipping', am I?" Kate whipped her head around to see Sirius standing in front of her, grinning widely. "I'm a bit more concerned about your abilities, Madam. An accomplished, experienced Auror who doesn't stop to think that I might just Apparate to the hallway? As I believe they say in America, 'gotcha'!"

Kate finally caught her breath – more from the scare of finding Sirius waiting for her than the brief run. "Alright, Mr. Black. Now that you've 'got me', what do you plan to do with me?" she asked, smiling.

Sirius waggled his eyebrows up and down, linking his arm through hers and leading her into the library. "Study," he said.

"Sirius, really. What will we study?" Kate asked him.

As he closed the door, Sirius dropped her a wink and said, "Silencing charms!"

XXXXXXXX

When Remus returned to Headquarters later that afternoon, he found Kate and Sirius on "the porch", as Harry had christened it, snuggled on a sofa in front of a roaring fire. Since re-discovering the room with Harry that day, Sirius had found himself returning at times when the house seemed to be closing in on him. Enlisting the help of both Kate and Remus, he had magically cleaned and furnished the room, leaving the vast, newly cleaned expanse of glass uncovered to permit Sirius the sense of "outdoor access" for which he so yearned.

"Mooney!" Sirius greeted the werewolf as Remus sank into one of the deeply cushioned chairs in front of the fire. "Everyone get on board the train in good order?"

Remus smiled at the couple as Kate wriggled her toes impatiently in Sirius' lap to induce him to resume the wonderful massage he had abandoned while greeting his friend. Rolling his eyes, Sirius complied and Kate sighed contentedly and returned Remus' grin.

"There's nothing quite like a well-trained doggy, is there, Remus?" Kate chuckled, then gave a sharp yelp as Sirius tickled one arch in retaliation.

"Careful, Katie-girl," Sirius growled, although the soft smile on his face contrasted with his tone. "The well-trained doggy can get even, you know! Now, Mooney," he looked up at Remus. "We promise that there will be no further interruptions. Please, tell us about the trip."

Remus nodded. "It went just fine, Padfoot. Harry was duly delivered to the station, met up with the Weasley crowd – and Hermione – and is safely aboard the Express, traveling toward Hogsmeade Station as we speak."

Sirius nodded. "I'll bet Ron was happy to see Hermione again," he grinned evilly.

Kate pushed her toes into Sirius thigh, making the wizard yelp in a very undignified manner. "Careful, Padfoot," she said, trying – and failing- to mimic his earlier growl. "Remember that "collar" conversation we had earlier today. You leave that poor boy alone!"

Remus' brow furrowed and he was just turning toward Kate when Sirius said, "Never mind, Mooney, never mind. Doesn't really bear repeating, anyway."

Kate grinned at her friend and mouthed, "Later." Remus dropped her a conspiratorial wink and turned his attention back to Sirius.

"You know, Padfoot, I rather like this room. Doesn't have quite the same degree of peril as the bookcases in the library and with all the work we've done in here, it's right cozy," he said, putting his feet up on the ottoman and settling deeper into the cushion. "Makes a nice place for a nap."

Sirius smiled at his friend. "You go right ahead and snooze, Mooney. You deserve it."

Kate swung her legs to the floor and sat up. Leaning over, she kissed Sirius gently, then went over to Remus and kissed the top of his head, relishing Sirius' chuckle. "Gentlemen, I'm going to go downstairs and pull some lunch together for us. Shall we eat in here or the kitchen?"

Sirius immediately rose. "I'll come with you, love. Remus, you sit here and doze. We'll bring you some nourishment – yeah?"

Remus smiled at his friend. "Sirius, there's no reason I can't come and help out BUT if you insist, I will happily sit here in all my glory and allow you to wait on me."

"Enjoy it while it lasts, Remus," Kate chimed in. "My holiday ends today and I'm due back in my dreary little office tomorrow. You boys are going to be all on your own, I'm afraid."

"Then, I'll just have to take advantage of your generosity today," he responded, stretching his long legs out and closing his eyes.

Kate smiled and turned to find Sirius waiting at the door, a somber look on his face.

Kate laced her fingers with his as they stepped into the hallway and walked down to the kitchen. When they reached the cavernous room, Kate turned to him. "What is it, love?"

Sirius shook his head. "I knew you wouldn't be on holiday forever, but I had totally forgotten that you were going back tomorrow. It seems it's only been a few days since your holiday began."

Kate stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Hey," she said softly. "I'll still be coming home to you every night. I'll still wake up next to you every morning. You and Remus will stay busy during the day. You'll hardly realize I'm gone."

Sirius leaned down and kissed her deeply. "You're wrong, Katie. I always feel it when you're not here."

"Sirius, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make light of how you're feeling. You know that my job at the Ministry helps the Order, as well and…"

Sirius leaned forward and placed his fingers over her lips. "Kate, stop. I know that you have to go to work tomorrow. I know that your job helps the Order, which means that you help Harry. I suspect that somewhere in there you were going to also say something about how it might even help clear my name at some point. I also don't think that you've made light of anything. I know that you get it, Kate. Sometimes, I think you're the only one who really does get it." He paused and leaned in to kiss her gently. "No secrets, remember? I just needed to tell you how I felt. And I miss you when you're gone. I will miss you tomorrow when you get up and go to the Ministry, and I will be missing you until you come home to me tomorrow night. It won't kill me. It won't even drive me down the neck of a Firewhiskey bottle – not any more. But it will hurt not to have you right here – where I can reach out and touch you whenever I want to. And I don't want you to think that any amount of busy work or time spent with Remus will make that go away. I love you too much not to miss you when you're gone. Ok?" he smiled.

Kate nodded and returned his smile.

"Good," Sirius said. "It strikes me that for a man who said basically nothing for 12 years, I've certainly made my fair share of speeches lately."

Kate leaned forward and kissed him tenderly. "I love you; I will miss you, too. Terribly."

"Good", Sirius said. "And I love you, too. Now, let's make lunch before Remus comes up here and offers to make lunch for us the way he made breakfast the other morning!"


	35. Nightmares and Promises

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Kate woke suddenly, immediately reaching for her wand before her mind was fully conscious. The bed was shaking and, in the pitch darkness of the room, Kate could not determine if it was safe to bring a candle to life to take stock of the situation. A sharp cry from the other side of the bed made the decision for her and, with a wave of her wand, Kate lit the thick candle on her bed stand. Still brandishing her wand, Kate turned toward the cry and saw Sirius sitting upright, hair tangled, body covered in sweat and shaking violently. His eyes were open, but whatever held his attention was not in this room. Dear Merlin, not again, Kate thought. He's been doing so well.

"No! Harry, run!" Sirius' voice was raw, as if ripped forcibly from his throat and his expression was as it had been before: frozen in horror.

Kate took a deep breath and moved closer to the unconscious man. "Sirius," she murmured, not yet daring to touch him in fear that his reaction would cause more damage. She waited and then when she saw no change, she tried again. "Sirius," she said, moving a bit closer to him.

"Take him, Kate! Go!" Sirius' hand fumbled toward an invisible pocket that would have ordinarily held his wand had he been wearing robes. His fingers dragged against his side, creating deep welts that he clearly did not feel.

"Sirius," Kate's voice rose slightly and was more insistent.

He turned, rising to his knees, his gaze still unfocused but now resting on her face. Sirius reached out to her, clutching her upper arms with incredible strength, his face a study in angry desperation, his voice sharp. "Kate! Why are you still here? Take Harry – run! Get out before they kill him!"

Kate bit back a cry of pain as his nails bit into the tender flesh of her arms. The pressure of his fingers was increasing and he had begun to shake even more violently. Afraid for him and needing to do something to relieve the incredible force of his grasp on her skin, Kate took a deep breath and spoke sharply, "Sirius – WAKE UP!"

Almost immediately, his hold on her lessened and Kate instinctively reached up to cover where his hands had been. She felt the sting as her hands encountered the crescent shaped wounds left by his nails, but she would not look away from Sirius' face until she was certain he was awake. As she watched him, Sirius blinked once, then several times in rapid succession. Slowly, his ragged breathing began to become less labored and he was finally able to focus on her face.

Kate reached over to the bedside table and poured him a glass of water from the pitcher. "Here," she whispered, holding it out to him.

Sirius took the glass from her hand, but as he did so, some of the water sloshed onto the bed linens as his hand was still shaking too violently to control it.

"Here," Kate said again, steadying the glass by placing her hands over his and guiding it to his mouth. After he'd drunk his fill, Kate returned the glass to the table and reached for Sirius' hand. "What was that about?" she asked gently.

Sirius shook his head. "Nightmare."

"Yes, well, I thought it might have been, actually. Can you remember it?"

Sirius' head whipped around to face her. "You want me to relive it?" he spat out then turned away, making a motion to rise from the bed.

Kate leaned over and wrapped her hands around his arm. "Stop it, Sirius," she said sternly. "No running away. Talk to me, remember?" She reached around and brought the ring from the back of his neck to hang in its customary spot on his chest.

Sirius turned back to her. "I have to use the toilet, alright? Unless you'd like a repeat performance of the first time you found me having one of these episodes, you'll let go of me."

"Fine," Kate released him. "Go."

After the bathroom door had closed, Kate threw on her bathrobe then grabbed her wand and stripped the bed, sent the sheets to the hamper and retrieved fresh linens from the closet, swiftly re-making the bed. By the time she was finished, Sirius came through the door, pausing just inside the bedroom.

"Still want to talk to me?" he asked. "I wouldn't blame you if you said 'no'."

Kate sighed, climbed back onto her side of the bed and turned down the covers on his. "Come here," she said.

Sirius crossed the rest of the way into the room and sat at the end of the bed, at Kate's feet. "I'm sorry about before," he said. "I…when they end, I'm ... I just want to forget. I'm sorry," Sirius said again.

"Is it the same nightmare as before?" Kate asked him quietly.

Sirius shook his head. "No, this one involves Harry and…you, as well." He shrugged. "I've only had this one a couple of times." He looked up at her. "Katie, I don't really want to think about it anymore. Please."

Kate studied his face for a moment before she spoke. "I will respect your decision if you don't want to talk about it, but, Sirius, I need to tell you that I just don't think it's a healthy way to handle things. Maybe if you talked about it – about what you could remember – you wouldn't have it again."

Sirius shook his head. "No," he said quietly. "Kate, please. Can't we just drop it?"

Kate sighed. "Ok. I told you I would respect your wishes and I will. But do something for me, will you?" At his nod, she continued. "If it happens again, at least think about talking to Remus, ok? You know he'll help you sort through it if you ask him to; all he'll do is listen if that's all you want from him."

Sirius looked over at her and nodded. "I will, Kate." He glanced over at the clock on the table. "You've only got a few hours left before you have to get up for work. Do you want to go back to your own room – you know, just in case?"

"I do not," Kate said to him. "Sirius, do you honestly think that I'd sleep back in my own bed, knowing that you were probably here, pacing or tossing and turning?" She thought for a moment, then asked, "Unless…Sirius – unless you'd prefer that I not sleep here tonight. If that's the case, I'll…"

"No!" Sirius leaned forward and grasped Kate by her shoulders, intending to pull her to him. When she winced, he drew back. "What?" he asked.

Kate cast about for some excuse that might spare him hearing what had actually happened to cause the bruising. She bit back a curse that she had not chosen to heal and vanish the bruises instead of changing the bed linens when Sirius went into the bathroom. Well, we promised we wouldn't lie to each other, she thought.

"Kate?" Sirius was saying. "What's wrong?"

Kate looked at him and slid her robe off her shoulders, exposing the bruises and scratches he'd made earlier, in the throes of his nightmare. "Listen, darling, you were in the midst of that dream. You weren't even conscious. You didn't know what you were doing."

Sirius' expression was horrified as he reached out and gently brushed against the bruises. He looked up at her. "I'm so sorry," he whispered. "Maybe you should rethink where you're sleeping tonight, after all."

Kate grabbed his hand. "Stop it," she said, fiercely. "You know better. Didn't you pay any attention to what I just said to you? Sirius, love, you didn't mean to do this and you're not going to hurt me in my sleep. Unless you'd like to kick me out, I'm staying."

He shook his head and Kate brought his hand to her lips and kissed the palm. "Come to bed, darling," she said.

"In a moment," he said and, pulling his wand from the pocket of his robe, he pointed it at Kate's arms one, then the other, and murmured a healing charm. Immediately, the bruises and small scratches disappeared.

Without another word, Sirius stood and walked around to the other side of the bed. He shed his robe then took Kate's from her and laid them at the foot of his bed. Leaving the candle burning, Sirius then slid into bed, settled the covers over them both and drew Kate into his arms.

"Thank you," she whispered against his shoulder, dropping a kiss on the smooth flesh and wrapping her arm around his waist.

Sirius dropped his cheek to rest against the top of her head. They were quiet for some time and Kate thought he might have fallen asleep again when she felt the rise of his chest as he took a deep breath and his low, hoarse voice began to fill her ears.

"I know the place I see in the dream. I can't place how I know it, but I've been there. I keep thinking it has to do with the time before Azkaban, but I can't remember anything more clearly than that. There's a hallway with black, highly polished floors. The space is huge and it almost seems like a tunnel that leads to a huge double door. A side door bursts open and Harry comes through, running down the hallway toward the door. You and I Apparate into the hallway, ahead of Harry, but he slips past us. I can't get to him quickly enough. Three black clouds pass right through us and become three Death Eaters. They're bearing down on Harry, but he's not aware of their presence. You run to try to catch up with him as I cannot seem to move quickly at all. It's like my feet are made of lead. I reach into my robes to draw my wand, but it's not there. The Death Eaters are closer to Harry now and you're running along side of him. Both of you are running for the door. I beg you to take Harry and leave before they can reach him but it's as if you can't hear me. The Death Eaters are almost upon you. One of them raises her wand, pointing it at you and beginning to cast some type of spell. Harry sees and blocks it, but they just keep coming. There's a mist coming from beneath the door and it begins to block your vision. You won't take Harry and leave. I beg you but you just…won't … you won't listen and…." Sirius was almost panting and his voice was raw.

Kate tightened her hold on the overwrought wizard beside her, stroking his shoulder and murmuring in what she hoped was a soothing voice. "Darling, it's alright. Harry's alright; he's safe at school and no one can get to him there. I'm right here and no one who shouldn't be in this house can get in. We're safe, love." Kate continued to stroke his shoulder gently and gradually his breathing slowed and the trembling in his body ceased.

"I'm so afraid I'll lose you both," Sirius whispered, stilling her hand and lacing her fingers with his. "I'll be locked up here, totally unable to do anything to help protect either of you – and I'll lose you, again."

"Sirius, don't," Kate said, kissing his shoulder. "Back in the first War, I used to worry every time you went on assignment, do you remember?"

Sirius shook his head. "Only vague impressions."

"I used to fret the night before you left, worried that something would happen to you and that I wouldn't be there. Sirius, you used to tell me that we were at war over something that was bigger than any of us. Our world was at risk and, if something happened to you, at least you would have died trying to protect it. It didn't make me worry any less, but it gave me some perspective. If we don't fight – in any way we're able to – we'll lose everything. You and Remus will have assignments from Dumbledore that will ultimately help Harry and the Order," Kate leaned over Sirius to see into his face. "I know it's not the same as being in the thick of the fight – I'm not naïve, but the last thing Harry needs right now is to have you out there, at risk of being caught. That would distract him, perhaps make him careless. You don't want that."

Sirius looked back at her, intently. "No, I don't. But, Katie, I need you to promise me something. If it comes to a point where Harry needs me and that need could make the difference for his safety, promise me that you'll help me get to him."

Kate shook her head. "Sirius, I can't promise that and it's unfair of you to ask me. First of all, it's not my decision to make. Secondly, Harry may need you but be the worse for your presence because he'd be distracted by the need to have you safe. Sirius, please, don't ask me to promise something I can't deliver to you."

Sirius sighed in frustration. "Then promise me that if I find an acceptable way to help him that you won't stop me."

Kate was silent for a moment, watching Sirius' face and considering what he had asked. Finally, she spoke. "If there is a way that you can help Harry in battle without endangering yourself – or him – that's acceptable to everyone involved, then I will not stop you." But that doesn't mean that Dumbledore or Remus – or both – will go along with it.

Sirius exhaled. "Thank you."

Kate lay back down, putting her head on his shoulder once again. "You know, Sirius, I don't want to lose you again, either."

Sirius kissed the top of her head. "I know, love. I know."

"You know, but you don't make it easy for any of us. I know just how difficult it is for you to be in this house again, let alone being unable to leave it at all. Harry would be devastated should anything happen to you; protecting you is, in a very real way, protecting him as well," Kate whispered. "Please try to remember that."

Sirius reached over and lifted her chin, then turned his head to see her face. "I will, Katie. I promise. It's just so hard. I can finally be a Godfather to the boy, but I can't be his Godfather in the ways that count."

Kate nodded. "You can't be his Godfather in the way that you think matters. Harry loves you like a father and keeping you safe is the only way that counts."

Sirius leaned down and kissed her lips tenderly. "Ok, Katie-girl, I give. What is it the Muggles say? 'You can't beat the house'? Apparently, that's doubly true in my case."

Kate smiled. "Clever, my love."

"You'd best get some sleep," Sirius replied, settling the covers over her shoulders more securely and resting his head against hers once again. "I love you, Katie – with all my heart."

Kate snuggled tightly against him. "I love you, darling."

It wasn't long before Kate was asleep; Sirius watched her until the first faint light of dawn slipped through the heavy draperies then he, too, closed his eyes and slept.

XXXXXXXX

The next morning, Kate awoke to find Sirius in a deep sleep, his face untroubled. She slipped out of bed, donned her robe and silently made her way back to her own room to shower and dress for work. A short time later, Kate entered the kitchen to find Remus already seated at the table, the Daily Prophet open before him, a steaming mug of tea in his hand.

"Good morning," Kate said, smiling. "Anything interesting?" she asked, nodding at the paper as she prepared a cup of coffee.

Remus smiled in return. "Good morning to you – and, no, nothing spectacular in the paper this morning." He paused. "Ready to go back to work, are you?"

Kate shook her head, ruefully. "If I had my way, I'd still be sleeping." She sipped the steaming coffee appreciatively "It's going to take a lot of this to keep me going today."

"Bad night?" Remus asked, his face concerned.

Kate looked up at him. "Sirius had a nightmare," she said.

"He's been doing so well," Remus observed. "Perhaps Harry's return to school triggered it?"

Kate nodded. "Maybe. I suggested that he talk to you if he has it again."

Remus looked at her thoughtfully. "Did he remember it?"

"Yes. He described it to me in as much detail as he could recall. Unsurprisingly, Harry features prominently," Kate replied. "He thinks he's been in the place where the nightmare takes place, but he can't remember where it is. I know it's bothering him that he can't recall it. I thought that if he spoke with you, together, you might remember."

"Possibly," Remus nodded. "But, you know that we were infrequently assigned to the same mission."

"There's something else," Kate said. "He made me promise that if he could come up with an acceptable way to help Harry without endangering himself, that I wouldn't stop him." At Remus' raised eyebrows, Kate repeated the conversation in more detail for her friend. "I thought it might be wise for you to keep an eye out," she finished.

Remus smiled. "Will do," he replied.

Kate glanced at her watch. "I need to go. Listen, tell Sirius I didn't want to disturb him before I left, will you? I'll be home for dinner, I expect."

"I'll tell him," Remus said, tilting his head when Kate leaned down to kiss his cheek. He laughed. "Isn't this just the scene of domestic bliss?"

Kate returned his grin. "And who would have ever believed it was found in the Black family kitchen?"

With that, Kate picked up her briefcase and headed for the door.


	36. Unspeakable Death and A Breakout at Azkaban

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Kate stepped off the elevator at the second level, briefcase in hand and headed down the corridor in the direction of the Auror offices. Entering, she made her way to the end of the room and her cubicle, located directly in front of Kingsley's. Setting her briefcase on her desk, Kate sighed at the stack of parchment piled in the middle of her previously tidy desk. A deep voice behind her made her jump and she turned to see Kingsley grinning broadly at her.

"Welcome back, Ms. Morgan," he said, voice jovial. "As you can see, you were missed."

Kate returned his smile. "I shudder to think what this would have looked like had I not taken work with me when I left on holiday. So," she said as she hung her cloak on the coat rack. "What's new?"

Kingsley muttered a silencing charm and sat in the chair next to Kate's desk.

"Did you know that Sirius is in Greenland?" he asked, conspiratorially.

Kate raised her eyebrows. "No! I hope he packed his woolies!" They shared a chuckle for a moment, then Kate continued, "Kingsley, they are believing your stories, aren't they?"

Kingsley smiled. "Absolutely. Fudge hardly has time to look on his own, doesn't he? Between the constant 'educational decrees' from Hogwarts and all the disappearances happening here and abroad, he's rather got his hands full denying the Dark Lord has come back. Sirius is the least of his worries."

Kate nodded. "Now that term has started, Umbridge will be back in full swing – and complicating his life even further."

Kingsley took a moment to look outside Kate's cubicle. Satisfied that they were still alone, he spoke again. "Kate, things here have gotten – interesting over the past weeks. Last week, Lucius Malfoy was here more often than usual."

"Malfoy!" Kate exclaimed. "What on earth was he doing, lurking about?"

Kingsley shook his head. "We don't know for certain. He's made some fairly large financial contributions to a variety of Ministry efforts. I'm sure he's working hard to establish himself here now that he's no longer a Governor at Hogwarts."

Kate's brows drew together. "He wants something, that's for certain. He's always been pretty savvy about people, so Lucius will know that Fudge can be bought. Flattery, galleons – it doesn't really matter. Fudge is going to look for allies wherever he can find them and he's not going to let a little rumor like Malfoy being a Death Eater get in his way. We need to figure out what he's after," Kate said. "And I have a feeling that we need to figure it out soon."

Kingsley nodded and rose. "I agree. We have a staff meeting in an hour. Let's keep our ears open."

"And Dumbledore should know about this, as well. The Order may be able to step up surveillance activities to see if we can get any ideas from Malfoy's other activities," Kate suggested, adding, "Of course, we're going to have to catch Dumbledore away from the school. With Umbridge and her paranoia running rampant up there, we cannot speak in confidence…with anyone, leave alone with Dumbledore."

Kingsley was silent for a moment. "Even being seen there can mean trouble for us. Tonight, talk with Remus. The next Order meeting is on Friday. I don't know if we can wait until then to speak with Dumbledore. See what Remus says. If he thinks we should contact Dumbledore more quickly, see if the three of you – Black included – can come up with a plan."

"Agreed," Kate said. "We'd better break this up – the others are starting to arrive," she nodded toward the open department, which was beginning to fill with their colleagues. "Now, I think you should give me a proper welcome and buy me a cup of coffee before the meeting."

Kingsley cancelled the silencing charm and, with a deep chuckle, stepped aside and gestured for Kate to precede him. "After you, Ms. Morgan."

XXXXXXXX

The staff meeting included a surreptitious discussion of Fudge's close alliance with Umbridge and the escalation of her power at Hogwarts. In the majority, Aurors were experienced enough not to openly question the decisions of Cornelius Fudge, but were dubious about his affiliation with a woman who was so outwardly consumed with power. There was no mention of Malfoy and only a brief announcement that Unspeakable Broderick Bode had succumbed at St. Mungo's to injuries he had suffered two months before while on the job in the Department of Mysteries. Kate caught Kingsley's eye and raised her eyebrows; he shrugged and looked away. When the meeting ended, Kate returned to her desk and pulled out the Bode investigation file from the pile stacked there. Glancing inside, she noted only two parchments filed there: a very brief re-telling of the initial incident and a copy of his death certificate. Kate picked up a quill and a fresh sheet of parchment to jot down a few notes but almost simultaneously, an owl brought news of another report of Muggle baiting and Kate, with Tonks, was called out of the office. When they had finished investigating the matter, Obliviating the Muggles involved and filed the resulting paperwork, it was late in the day. Kingsley was in a meeting with Fudge and Kate decided that she'd had about enough for her first day back. Picking up the Bode file for a second time that day, she began to slip it into her briefcase. Thinking back to Sirius and his regret at her return to work, however, she placed it back on her desk. Tomorrow would come soon enough. I can deal with that poser in the morning. With that thought, Kate called a thoughtful 'goodnight' to Tonks and made her way out of the department to begin her trip back. Moments later, she reached the Apparition point and, picturing the alley near the corner of Grimmauld Place, she turned on her heel and disappeared with a small 'pop'.

When Kate entered the dim entry way of Headquarters, she was greeted with the homely smells of dinner cooking. She sniffed the air appreciatively then made her way upstairs to her own room to shower and change into more comfortable clothing. Thirty minutes later, Kate crept down the narrow stone staircase to the kitchen, stopping on the last step to enjoy the scene before her. Sirius stood at the ancient stove, dressed in light wash Muggle blue jeans and a black turtleneck jumper. He was humming to himself as he removed a large pan from the oven and the delicious aroma that greeted Kate as she watched told her that he'd made her favorite meal – Shepherd's Pie.

"Remus," Sirius raised his face to the ceiling of the kitchen and shouted to his friend. "You promised you'd make the bloody salad when the Shepherd's Pie was ready. It's ready."

Kate smiled as she heard the rumble of footsteps from the floor above. "So, we're having Shepherd's Pie and 'bloody salad' for dinner, eh?" she said, stepping off the final stair and making her way over to a – now – very startled wizard. It didn't take him long to recover, however and soon, a brilliant smile lit up his face and he walked over to Kate and embraced her tightly.

"My Kate," Sirius whispered, breathing in the scent of her hair. "I missed you today, love." He pulled his head back to look down into her face then lowered his lips to hers. Kate felt the familiar shiver as she returned his kiss, deepening it and winding her arms around Sirius' neck. A few moments later, a discreet cough from the stairwell caused Sirius to end the kiss with a light peck to Kate's cheek.

"Did someone request a 'bloody salad'?" Remus asked, his face amused. "Good evening, Kate."

"Hello, Remus," she responded, squeezing his arm affectionately.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Alright, Remus, I think we've gotten about all we can from that particular comment."

Kate chuckled. "What can I do to help, boys?"

Sirius smiled. "Nothing, love. Just sit down and we'll be ready in a moment. Would you like a glass of wine?"

Kate nodded then walked over to her customary place at the table. Soon, Sirius brought her a glass of wine and shortly thereafter, the three were seated at the table enjoying Sirius' culinary talents.

"This is delicious," Kate said, taking another bite. "You may cook for me any time you'd like."

Sirius smiled. "Thanks, love. I'll look forward to it. So, how was work?"

Kate told them about the Muggle incident and noted, with interest, that Remus' attention picked up when Tonks was mentioned as accompanying Kate in responding to the problem. Kate caught Sirius' eye and he dropped her a conspiratorial wink. "Mooney, you should ask her out – put you both out of your mutual misery."

Remus' face went slightly pink and he suddenly found the pattern on his dish of extreme interest. "Padfoot, she's a friend and a colleague. Nothing more," he said quietly.

"And that's the problem, Mooney – the 'nothing more' part," Sirius said, leaning toward his old friend. "Honestly, Remus! When she's here, she's making calf eyes at you whenever she thinks you're not looking and tripping over her own two feet every time she sees that you are. For your part…" Kate reached over and put her hand on Sirius', stopping him mid-sentence.

"Sirius, darling, leave it," she said quietly. Remus had not looked at either of them since Sirius had launched his diatribe moments earlier. Kate had seen the expression on his face grow steadily sadder, though, and she just wanted that to stop.

"But, Kate, Mooney here deserves to…" Sirius began, but was once again cut off by the Auror.

"Mooney here deserves to have some privacy," Kate said. "If he wants to talk about private matters, he knows that you and I both love him and are here for him."

Remus finally looked up and his eyes met Kate's. "Thank you," he said softly.

"Always," Kate replied.

Sirius looked from Remus to Kate and shrugged. "Fine, I won't push. Remus," the werewolf looked at Sirius then as it was rare to hear his best friend use his given name. "You know that I'm not pushing for any reason other than that I care about you and want you to be happy." He reached over and took Kate's hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it gently. "I know how much it means to have that kind of happiness."

Remus smiled at them. "I know that, Padfoot, I really do – and I am so happy for you both." He paused. "My situation is decidedly different than yours, however. Even if I had … feelings for Tonks, I could not act on them. She is young – very young and has her whole life before her and being with me would compromise her future. And that's really all that I want to say on the matter."

Sirius nodded. "Then I will leave it at this: you have been an ear for me whenever I've needed one; I will surely be one for you anytime you may need me."

Remus swallowed audibly and Sirius cleared his throat. "Katie-girl, I think that we need to resume a safer topic of conversation."

Kate smiled at the two wizards. "Definitely. Actually, there is something I need to chat with you about – at the suggestion of Kingsley. I need both of you to weigh in on this. And…I think there's another part that might be connected but I haven't figured it out yet."

"Well, Kate, you have our undivided attention," Remus said.

Kate quickly detailed the brief conversation she and Kingsley had regarding Malfoy and his increased presence at the Ministry and the need to involved Dumbledore and seek his opinion relatively quickly.

Remus and Sirius exchanged looks before Remus spoke, "I don't know that we should wait until the next Order meeting, soon though it may be."

Kate nodded. "That was my feeling, as well. My concern, however, lies in our ability to contact him securely – without exposing the Order OR the workings of certain Aurors – to Umbridge. Dumbledore is certainly being closely watched."

"What was the possible connection you mentioned, Kate?" Sirius asked her.

"Do you recall an Unspeakable named Broderick Bode?" Kate asked. Sirius shook his head, but Remus nodded, thoughtfully.

"He was found in the corridor of the Department of Mysteries, unable to speak. Thought he was a teapot, as I recall. He's reported to be recovering nicely in St. Mungo's, I'd understood. The healers felt that if he continued progressing well, he'd be fully cured," Remus said.

Kate shook her head. "No longer. He died in hospital last night."

Remus and Sirius both looked startled. Sirius asked, "How did that happen?"

"I was only able to briefly review the file before the Muggle incident came in and I had to leave. What I was able to learn, however, is that he was strangled. By a plant. Devil's Snare," Kate said.

"But how could someone get that plant onto a ward at St. Mungo's?" Sirius wanted to know.

"Oh, easily enough, I should imagine," Remus replied. "If you know what you're doing, you can charm the plant to disguise its true identity without harming its properties."

Kate nodded, adding, "And, given Bode's occupation, he was in a rather isolated are of the ward; protection against what he might utter as he was being treated and his mind restored. Whoever delivered the plant would have had to know that. His location, combined with the time of day the plant was delivered – just before visitors' hours expired – virtually guaranteed success. As visitors' hours are concluding, the Healers are putting together the patients' final potions for the day – those that are administered directly before bedtime."

"Death Eaters," Sirius said grimly.

"Possibly," Kate said. "I think that whoever brought Bode that plant was either a Death Eater or a sympathizer. Either way, he or she was disguised, I'm sure of it. But there is a Death Eater connection – or a possible one – to the original injury. I wonder if Bode encountered Malfoy that night…"

Remus leaned forward. "The Order knows that there's increased interest in the Department of Mysteries. Voldemort wants to get his hands on that Prophecy – that much we know. What we don't know is how many – or which – Death Eaters he's set on the Department & its employees to gain access to it. Given Malfoy's increased presence at the Ministry, isn't it entirely possible that he may have targeted Bode as a potential way in?"

Sirius became caught up in the possibilities, as well. "But wouldn't that suggest that Bode was in league with Voldemort? If Unspeakables are turning, we're in more trouble than we originally thought."

Kate nodded. "But, don't forget. Last time, Death Eaters used the Imperius curse to compel others to do their bidding. In fact, when Voldemort fell, Death Eaters like Malfoy used that excuse to stay out of Azkaban. They claimed the Dark Lord had used the curse to make them do things in his support, as you'll recall."

Remus stood. "I think we need to involve Dumbledore immediately. I'll send an owl; I think that's the safest way to contact him."

Sirius agreed. "Harry told us that Umbridge was watching the Floo network at the school, so that's not an option."

As Sirius finished speaking, as if by Providence, the kitchen fire blazed green and Kingsley's head appeared above the grate.

Kate walked over to the hearth. "You've incredible timing, Kingsley," she said. "We've just finished discussing Malfoy and think we've got a potential connection to Bode's death. Remus is just sending an owl off to…" Kate trailed off, noticing the expression on the Auror's face. Obviously, something of tremendous importance had happened.

"Kate, Malfoy and Bode are the least of our problems right now. I need you back here immediately. There's been a break-out at Azkaban; ten Death Eaters have escaped," his voice was low and urgent.

Sirius heard the news and gasped. Coming up behind Kate, he crouched down and asked, "How did they manage it?"

A ghost of a smile appeared on Kingsley's worried face. "Now, that's a question, isn't it? Fudge firmly believes you orchestrated it! Kate, I need you in here."

Kate nodded. "On my way, Kingsley."

Five minutes later, after a quick kiss for Sirius, Kate was on her way to the Ministry.


	37. Mysteries at Midnight

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

For the second time in less than 24 hours, Kate stepped from the second floor elevator and made her way to her department.

"Kate, we're here," boomed Kingsley's voice and Kate turned to find several of her colleagues already gathered in the large meeting room to the left of the department's front door. Kate nodded and walked into the room, taking a seat to Kingsley's left.

Kate removed parchment and a Muggle ballpoint pen from her briefcase to kill time until the meeting began. Over the next ten minutes, the remainder of the available Aurors entered the room and, when he saw that everyone who could attend was there, Kingsley began the meeting.

"As you all know, ten Death Eaters escaped from Azkaban prison earlier tonight," he began his voice solemn. "Six have been identified as Antonin Dolohov, Augustus Rookwood, Bellatrix Lestrange, Rodolphus Lestrange, Rabastan Lestrange and Mulciber. There are four others whose identities the Ministry is working to confirm as we speak."

"Any idea how they did it?" Spear, one of the newer Aurors spoke out.

Kingsley took a breath. "The Minister feels certain that Sirius Black masterminded the operation. After all, he was the first to successfully escape from Azkaban and his cousin, her husband and her husband's brother were three of those who got away."

Kate groaned inwardly. One more thing for Fudge to lay at Sirius' feet – in favor of ignoring his own shortcomings.

Tonks spoke up. "But Black was seen in Greenland as recently as this week. Isn't there a more realistic explanation for the break-out?"

Kate smiled at her, but caught Kingsley's raised eyebrow and sobered instantly. Pay attention here, Tonks, she thought before replying, "I believe Black held a valid Apparition license before his arrest, Tonks. I'm sure that he could have Apparated without detection to assist his fellow Death Eaters."

Tonks caught Kate's cue and picked up the challenge. "Well, Kate, I'd agree with you except for the fact that Black's been on the run for the better part of a year and can't be at full power. Between trying to avoid capture and stay alive, who knows what kind of physical condition he's in at the moment? We snapped his wand and, as far as we know, he doesn't have a new one. At best, he may be using a wand he stole from some poor wizard who was stupid enough to cross his path. I think at least some of us need to focus on known Voldemort sympathizers who are a little more local, don't you, Kings?"

Good girl, Kate thought to herself. "Tonks may have a point, Kingsley," she added. "Black is many things, but self-preserving appears to be one of his most compelling gifts. Why would he risk discovery and potential apprehension to free additional Death Eaters? Surely, he's more valuable to Voldemort as a distraction to the MLE. While we're focused on him, Voldemort may, indeed, feel that he can move about more freely. He may well be deploying those of his followers who resumed their old lives after the Dark Lord was believed to have been destroyed the first time. They would not necessarily be the first to be suspected."

Kingsley nodded thoughtfully and some of the other Aurors around the table murmured in agreement. Spear, however, was not thoroughly convinced and persisted. "Of course, Kate, you would be reluctant to support the theory that Black was involved in this escape, based on your history with the man. My uncle was in school with you all and he told me that you and Black were a couple back in the days of the first War. Could it be that the relationship has withstood the test of time?"

Kate felt her blood turn cold, but managed to maintain her professional demeanor – in fact, she brought it to the next level. So, the little boy wants to play, does he? "Your uncle would have been … let me see if I can remember … oh, yes, I recall now; your uncle is Romillard Spear, isn't that right?" Not waiting for his confirmation, but taking in the smug look on Spear's face, Kate continued. "Unfortunate, really. Poor Romillard developed the most unfortunate crush in our first year of Auror training. Pity Sirius didn't return his affections." Kate watched the young Auror's face lose its smugness as he realized he'd taken quite the wrong road with his superior; clearly, his uncle had been right when he'd suggested that his nephew keep their conversation to himself. Kate was speaking again. "Let me say this to you, Mr. Spear, and you would be well advised to remember it. We face dark times, darker than we did in the first War. Back then, suspicion pulled apart friendships, pitted brother against brother, destroyed marriages and turned children against parents. Learn from the past; do not repeat its mistakes. My only loyalty is to the cause that finds and defeats Voldemort – once and for all. That's why I'm part of the MLE. That's why I risk my life every single day as an Auror. My past is exactly that – my past. Did your uncle think to tell you that James and Lily Potter were my friends, as well? No? Well, then, he certainly didn't think to tell you that I am Harry Potter's Godmother, did he? And there is nothing in this world that would make me risk the life of my Godson – and that includes helping the escaped convict that orphaned him! Have I made myself perfectly clear, Mr. Spear?"

The young Auror cast a quick look at Kingsley, hopeful that he might find an ally in the Senior Auror. He didn't. Kingsley was looking at him with quite an amused expression on his face. "Well, Mr. Spear? Certainly you haven't lost your ability to speak, have you?"

Spear shook his head then turned to face Kate once again. "I understand," he mumbled.

"Excellent!" Kingsley boomed. "Now, if we could all turn our attention to the tasks at hand: locating the escaped Death Eaters before they can help the Dark Lord gain more ground in our world and trying to figure out how they were able to escape in the first place."

XXXXXXXX

Twenty four hours would pass before Kate returned to her room at Grimmauld Place. She dragged herself up the stairs and walked into her room only to be hit with a very relieved Sirius, who wrapped his arms around her and refused to let go.

"Katie," he murmured into her hair. "Thank Merlin you're back!"

Kate returned his embrace, pressing her face against the side of his neck and inhaling his unique scent. "Sirius," she whispered. "Sirius." She lifted her face from his neck and looked into his eyes. "I love you."

Sirius leaned forward and kissed her lips gently. "I love you back," he said softly. "Come here." With that, he walked her into the bathroom, lifted her in his arms and gently sat her down on the counter. "Stay there for a moment."

Kate watched as he crossed to the deep tub, poured in some bath salts and magically filled it with hot water. When he had tested the temperature and found it to his satisfaction, Sirius turned back to Kate. With a wave of his hand and a muttered, "Evanesco", Kate found herself nude. A second "Evanesco" left Sirius in the same condition and he crossed the remainder of the space between them, picked Kate up in his arms and carried her over to the now steaming, fragrant tub. Kissing her softly, he lowered her into the water, climbing in and settling himself behind her. With a wave of his hand, he lit the floating candles that hovered about six feet above their heads and extinguished the gas lights lining the walls. The environment was peaceful and undeniably romantic.

"Relax," he whispered into her ear. He summoned her hair combs from the shelf and soon had her hair piled high on her head, secured with the tortoiseshell fasteners. His hands slid down the back of Kate's neck to her shoulders where he began to knead the knots he found there.

"Mmm," Kate moaned lightly. "That feels so good."

Sirius simply continued to massage her shoulders, neck and then her arms, relieving tension in her muscles. Gradually, Kate felt her body relaxing under his attentions, the hot water and the soothing scent of lavender.

"To what do I owe this fabulous massage?" Kate asked after awhile and heard his deep chuckle at her ear.

"Well, you left here over 24 hours ago to respond to an emergency at work. We hadn't heard from you and, as a former Auror, I know what all of that means: lots of meetings, stress and interrogations," Sirius spoke softly, reluctant to break the mood. "In view of that, I felt a little pampering would be in order." He dropped his lips to her shoulder and kissed his way to her neck, where he nibbled and kissed the sensitive flesh just below her ear. "Besides, I missed you," he added, smiling against her soft skin.

Kate laughed quietly. "I sort of got that impression from your greeting when I walked into my bedroom." Kate half-turned so she could see his face. "Did you know I'd be coming home tonight?"

Sirius lowered his head, allowing his hair to partially obscure his face. It didn't work, as Kate brought her hand up and tucked the errant locks behind his ear. "Sirius?"

He sighed, turning to face her. "I sort of slept in your room last night," he confessed. "And I'd planned to do so tonight, as well. It just felt like I was closer to you in here." Sirius kissed her shoulder again. "Do you mind?"

Kate smiled, leaning over and kissing his cheek softly. "Not in the least. I'm glad."

Sirius raised his hand to cup her cheek and Kate captured it in her own and giggled. "We're all pruney," she said and Sirius gave a great bark-like laugh as he, too, looked at their fingers.

"C'mon," he said, rising then helping Kate to stand. He stepped over the edge of the tub, and then turned to lift Kate from the water to stand on the deep pile bath mat. He murmured a drying charm on them both, then vanished the bathwater and summoned the candles to follow them into the bedroom.

"It's like a little parade," Kate giggled as she sat on the edge of the bed and watched the candles pop into place, hovering above their heads throughout the room.

"Slide under the covers, like a good girl," Sirius said, holding the covers up. Once they were both settled beneath the warmth of the goose down comforter, Sirius reached for her and drew her close to his body.

"I love you," he whispered. "I'm glad you're home."

Kate snuggled against his warmth. "I love you so much," she said quietly, kissing his shoulder and lacing her fingers with his. They were silent for some time before Kate spoke. "Sirius, darling, I know how difficult it is for you to remain here, in this house. But I need you to promise me that you will stay here, that you won't try to slip out – even as Padfoot."

She felt Sirius shift beneath her and she looked up at him; he was looking down at her thoughtfully. "Katie, what happened at the Ministry?"

She sighed. "Fudge is laying the blame for the breakout squarely at your feet," she told him. "He believes that since you were the first to successfully escape, you helped the rest of your Death Eater friends do so, as well."

Kate wasn't sure what she expected for a response from the dark-haired wizard, but great peals of laughter were definitely not on her list. "Sirius?"

"Oh, Katie," Sirius said, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes when he'd finally brought himself under control. "I'd have been disappointed in the big git if he hadn't thought me responsible for it!"

"I don't see how you can laugh at it," Kate said to him. "Everything that goes wrong for that man is blamed on you."

"Of course it is, Kate," Sirius said, raising his eyebrows. "Of course it is. I break out of Azkaban on his watch; no one – not the best Aurors can find me – on his watch. The Ministry loses complete control of the Dementors – on his watch. Ten of the most notorious Death Eaters also break out of Azkaban – also on his watch. Really, he's got to blame someone for his own inadequacies. He wouldn't be a politician if he didn't. And, unfortunately, I'm the most likely candidate. Really, Katie-girl, you used to have a sense of humor about things like this. You're slipping, methinks!"

Kate sat up and turned to face him, furious tears standing out in her eyes. "You expect me to have a sense of humor about this? How can you? Do you have no idea what it's like to sit in those meetings and hear them question whether or not I'm loyal to the Ministry or to you? Do you have any concept of how difficult it is for me to have to sit there and deny you? Denounce you? Vow to hunt you down, arrest you and turn you over for the Kiss?" Tears were flowing down her cheeks by this point and her breath hitched as she tried to swallow the sobs.

Sirius immediately sobered and quietly listened to Kate's broken voice as she spoke. When she was finished and only her periodic sobs could be heard, Sirius reached for her and drew her down to lie on top of him. He wrapped his arms around her waist as Kate put her head on his chest and cried softly.

"Shih," Sirius murmured. "Hush, love. I'm so sorry I teased you. I didn't know. Baby, I didn't know." He felt Kate nod against his chest. "Tell me what happened?"

Kate shook her head. "I already told you what happened. The names don't change anything. I just…" her voice trailed off and she lifted her head to look into his eyes. "… it just hurt to be the one saying those things. It hurt to be the person vowing to drag you into the Ministry and turn you over to them…" Kate's voice dropped to a whisper and the tears began again. "I can't see that happen, Sirius. I can't see MLE wizards holding onto you and dragging you away. Not again. At that meeting, I heard myself promising to make it happen – just to shut up some snot-nosed junior Auror."

Sirius wrapped his arms more tightly around her and flipped them so he was lying over her. He braced himself on his arms and brought his face close to hers. "Listen to me, Katie-girl. These are the things you have to say, but it's not to hurt me, it's to protect me. It's just like having Kingsley claim I've been seen in Dubai or Greenland. Katie, look at me." When she turned her head to face him, Sirius continued. "You know, we've never really talked about the night I was arrested. I saw you standing there; I saw your face. I know how much you suffered watching them take me away in shackles. I know how much I suffered watching you walk away. But all of that is over now. I'm here. We're together. We love each other. We trust each other." He leaned down and kissed her deeply, passionately, putting everything that he held in his heart into that one moment. "I love you," he whispered against her lips.

"I love you," Kate whispered back. "Sirius, make love to me; please."

Sirius kissed her again then dropped his head to kiss each breast in turn. He moved his hips against hers and was rewarded with a soft moan as his erection brushed against her center. He kissed her lips again, deeply. "I love you," he whispered as he reached down and positioned himself at her entrance. Sliding forward, he slowly entered her in one thrust, the feeling wrenching moans from them both.

"I love you," Kate murmured. "Please, Sirius, please."

Sirius began moving, slowly at first, then with more speed as he felt himself heading toward his release. "Katie," he groaned, kissing her mouth, her cheek, her neck then bringing his mouth to her ear where he nibbled at the sensitive lobe.

"So close," Kate whimpered, rising to meet each thrust and bringing her hands to his bottom, trying to speed his movements, to make him thrust more deeply.

Sirius lifted his head and held her gaze. "Come for me," he whispered, his hips suddenly moving at greater speed, repeatedly hitting a spot inside her that made her cry out with the feeling. Suddenly, Kate felt her release wash over her and she called out his name in abandon as she was filled with both physical sensation and the emotional depth of her feelings for this man.

Sirius felt her orgasm begin and two thrusts later he joined her. Crying out his love for her, he kept moving until the last aftershocks had moved through them both. He slipped from her body and rolled onto the mattress next to Kate, taking her into his arms and placing gentle kisses on her hair, her forehead – wherever he could reach. "I love you with all my heart," he murmured.

Kate sighed, kissing his neck and snuggling down deeper into his body. "Sirius, I love you. I will never let anything happen to you." Kate raised her head and kissed his lips softly. "I would die for you," she whispered, kissing him again and settling herself back down onto the mattress.

Sirius tightened his hold on her. "Don't talk like that, Katie," he said. "We're both coming out of this alive. We're going to have the rest of our lives together when this whole thing is over with. We're going to have Harry with us, too. We're going to be fine. I promise you"

Kate lay silently and soon felt the gentle rise and fall of his chest that indicated Sirius had fallen asleep. She placed one more soft kiss on his neck and whispered, "I hope so, my love. I hope so," and closed her eyes, falling asleep with the gentle whisper of Sirius' promise flowing in her heart.


	38. Covert Assignments

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

When Sirius awoke in the morning, he was alone. He ran his hand over Kate's side of the bed and found the sheets cold to the touch. He sat up and looked toward the bathroom door, but it was open and the room beyond it dark. Sirius sighed and swung his legs to the floor, stretching his muscles and producing a huge yawn. Rising, he headed into the bathroom. Fifteen minutes later, after taking a quick shower and throwing on some jeans and the sweater Kate had given him, Sirius strolled into the kitchen.

"Good morning, Padfoot," Remus greeted his friend. "Coffee or tea this morning?"

Sirius looked around the kitchen before settling his gaze back on the werewolf. "I missed her, didn't I?"

Remus smiled sadly. "Just. She was down here before I arrived but said she didn't want to wake you. She expects to be home 'at a reasonable hour' this evening, she told me."

Sirius sat down and gestured toward the coffee pot. "I'll have coffee this morning, Mooney, if you wouldn't mind pouring." He yawned and scrubbed his face with his hands then added sugar and milk to the mug he found before him. Lifting the cup, he inhaled the aroma appreciatively. "Thanks, mate."

Remus raised his own cup in salute and both men sat immersed in their own thoughts for awhile before Remus spoke. "You look tired, Pads. Did you sleep badly?"

Sirius shook his head. "No, I slept alright. Wish I'd been awake when Kate left this morning, though," he added ruefully. "I'm not sure how well she slept."

Remus nodded. "She looked alright this morning; perhaps a bit tired. Trouble at the Ministry?"

Sirius repeated the conversation from the night before regarding his potential involvement in the Azkaban breakout and Kate's reaction to the junior Auror. "It's painful to see her cry like that, Mooney. Broke my heart." Sirius sighed. "I hate it when anything to do with me upsets her."

Remus nodded. "I understand, Sirius, but you can't control what happens at the Ministry. She's a strong woman, but even the strongest person has their limit. Maybe releasing some of the emotion last night was a good thing."

Sirius nodded, then snorted. "You sound like a woman, Mooney," he said, wiggling his eyebrows at his friend.

Remus laughed out loud. "Yes, I suppose I did for a moment!"

The two friends chuckled for a moment longer, then Sirius asked, "What do you make of the breakout?"

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Only a matter of time, really. Kate's of the opinion that Bode's death was one factor in the timing of their escape. Seems to make sense, really. Remember our conversation the other night. The Prophesy is kept in the Department of Mysteries. The Order has the Department under surveillance after-hours to try to prevent a break-in and Kingsley does what he can to ensure the corridor is watched during the day as he can. If Malfoy was, in fact, using Imperius on Bode, it would be simple enough for him to slip down to the Department during Ministry hours. We'll be able to get Dumbledore's opinion tonight when he arrives."

Sirius nodded, then drew a sharp breath, "Damn! Did you mention Dumbledore to Kate before she left?"

Remus smiled. "I did, Padfoot. Hence, her promise to arrive home at a decent hour this evening. Apparently, you didn't have the chance to discuss matters with Kate last night."

"Never you mind what I had the chance to discuss with Kate last night, Mooney," Sirius huffed. As Remus chuckled, Sirius added, "Is Kingsley coming over tonight, as well?"

"Yes, he is," came a deep voice from the doorway that made both wizards jump.

"Merlin, Kingsley," Sirius exclaimed, his hand over his heart. "You have got to stop sneaking up on people like that! You'll kill us long before Voldemort gets the chance!"

Kingsley's deep chuckle filled the room. "Remus, could I have some of that brew?" he asked, sitting down in one of the chairs and summoning a mug from the cupboard. Remus poured coffee for the Auror, refilling Sirius' mug and his own, as well.

"What brings you to the Black House of Horrors?" Sirius asked, resuming his position at the table.

Kingsley smiled. "Your better half, actually."

"Kate?" Sirius asked, his expression a bit anxious. "What's happened?"

"Calm, Sirius," Kingsley said. "Kate's fine. She just wanted the two of you to start doing some research into Invisibility options – particularly any that involve plants or herbs."

"Why?" Remus asked, curiosity aroused.

"Not entirely certain," Kingsley replied. "But it might have something to do with her current assignment."

"Which is…?" Sirius prompted, sliding his chair closer to Kingsley and narrowing his eyes as he waited for an answer.

"…not for me to disclose," Kingsley finished his coffee and rose to his feet. "Dumbledore will be here at 6:30 and I'll see you both here then."

"Kingsley," Sirius began, rising to follow the Auror to the door.

"Talk to Kate yourself, Black," and with a smile, Kingsley left.

With Kingsley gone, Sirius turned to Remus. "Ok, Mooney, out with it. What's her new assignment?"

Remus shook his head. "No idea. Ask Kate when she gets here later. Come on, Padfoot, she wants us to do some research for her, so let's eat some breakfast and head up to the library and see what we can do to help her, yes?"

Sirius looked at him appraisingly for a moment then answered. "You're cooking."

Remus smiled. "I'm cooking."

XXXXXXXX

Hours later, Sirius and Remus were in the library, all manner of reference materials and thick spell and Herbology books scattered around them.

"Plants or herbs, she said, yeah?" Sirius questioned.

"Yes," Remus responded as he turned the thin pages of an ancient book. "Ah – here's what I wanted: hellebore."

Sirius came around the table to peer over Remus' shoulder. "Hellebore?"

Remus looked over at him and smiled, amused. "In powdered form, it can be used to achieve invisibility, Padfoot. Do you not remember anything from Potions class?"

Sirius snorted. "I remember Snivellus. No surprise that the Dementors left me with those memories, is it?"

"There are better ways to achieve invisibility. Why would Kate want to use powdered Hellebore?" Remus wondered aloud.

"Perhaps because it could be dissolved in water and kept in a bottle for repeated ingestion," Kate's voice sounded from the doorway. "It's also herb-based and less disruptive to the system, as well."

"Katie-girl!" Sirius exclaimed, crossing the room to meet her. After a tender kiss, Sirius said, "Alright, come sit over here with our dear friend, Remus and put us both out of our misery."

Kate laughed. "Curiosity killed the cat, you'll remember," she told them.

Sirius gave her a withering look. "I'm a dog, Katie. I could care less about the fate of the common house cat! Now, tell old Padfoot what's going on with this assignment."

Kate shook her head at him. "There are two teams of Aurors involved in the investigation into the Azkaban situation. The first is working to track and arrest the escaped Death Eaters."

"Good luck there," Sirius muttered.

"The second team is investigating Lucius Malfoy and his possible connection to Bode's death and potential link to the break out," Kate continued. "I've been asked to take the lead with the second team," she added.

Sirius' brows drew together and he frowned. "I don't like it, Kate. Malfoy's a Death Eater. He's dangerous and unpredictable and has a nasty cruel streak. If he's involved, you know it's at the direction of Voldemort. He was his lap dog once and lied his way clear. Now that the Dark Lord's come back, Malfoy will have oozed his way back into his good graces. He'll do anything – anything - to make certain his position is secure. If your team gets close…" he trailed off.

Kate reached over and took his hand. "If my team gets close, we could learn something that will help Harry defeat Voldemort once and for all. At worst, we might learn something that helps the other team locate and re-capture the escaped Death Eaters. Sirius, I can't tell you not to worry because it will do no good. I would ask that you remember, though, that I don't have a death wish. I won't be foolish."

"Invisibility potions?" Sirius countered. "That's a bit foolish, isn't it?"

"Foolish? No. Risky? Of course. But, Sirius, everything we're doing carries some degree of risk. It's the reward that makes the risk worthwhile! Having the invisibility potion will work much better than Harry's cloak or a Disillusionment charm. You know that! Cloaks can slip. Disillusionment charms camouflage, they do not provide invisibility. A well-rendered potion will enhance the safety of the team," Kate reasoned.

Sirius shook his head. "Your safety isn't guaranteed."

"Whose is, Sirius? The reality of our world is that until Voldemort is vanquished – once and for all – none of us is safe. You attend the same Order meetings I do and we hear the same reports. Muggles, witches, wizards are disappearing or dying every single day and the Ministry is either ignoring it or explaining it away," Kate said.

"So, how is it that Kingsley got the Ministry to agree to allow split teams on the Azkaban break out?" Remus asked. He had his suspicions, but was hopeful that his instincts were wrong.

Kate recognized the look, but knew she couldn't lie to him. "He didn't exactly get them to agree," Kate conceded. "Team two is flying a bit under the Ministry's radar. While Dawlish is taking lead with team one and the tracking and recapture of the escapees, Kingsley and I are sort of following up on the Malfoy bit. We're hopeful that we can expose him and, in so doing, locate the escaped Death Eaters and assist Dawlish as well."

Sirius' eyebrows shot up almost to his hairline. "No! I won't allow you to do it, Kate!"

"You won't allow me?" Kate's temper drove her to her feet but before she could draw another breath, the room began to sway dangerously and darkness crept around the edges of her vision. She reached out to Sirius to steady herself and he caught her by the shoulders and sat her down on the sofa. Remus conjured a glass of cold water while Kate leaned forward, letting her head fall forward to her knees in hopes that the dizziness would abate. When she finally felt a bit better, she picked up her head and gratefully accepted the ice water from Remus. Drinking it slowly, Kate felt her heart rate and vision return to normal and, after a few moments, she handed the empty glass back to Remus.

"Katie, what is it?" Sirius asked. "Are you ill?"

Kate shook her head. "I don't believe so. I can't imagine what it could…wait, I know. I had a light breakfast before I left this morning but I was in meetings and missed lunch. Happens every time."

Sirius exhaled in relief. "I thought for sure I'd done it to you."

"Don't sell yourself short, Padfoot – you damn near did!" Kate responded. "Listen, I know you want to protect me, but you can't do it all the time. I'm an Auror. It's my job. You have to trust me – and the members of the team. I'm not going to do anything stupid."

Sirius pulled her into his arms. "I know, Katie. I know. It's just that things can happen even when you're doing everything the right way. I can't help that I worry, but I'll try to remember to hold my temper, ok?"

"Ok," Kate said, kissing his cheek softly.

A slight cough brought their attention back to the fact that they were not alone. Remus was studying his shoes while giving Sirius and Kate a moment. Kate winked at Sirius and rose – slowly – from her seat. When everything stayed reasonably steady, she walked over to the werewolf, wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek, as well. "Poor Mooney," Kate said smiling. "Feeling a bit left out of the loop, are we?"

Remus chuckled and hugged her briefly before letting her go. "Thank you, ma'am. Always nice to be remembered."

Kate turned and paused for a moment, feeling a bit lightheaded once again. Sirius immediately rose and took her arm. "Come on, Katie girl. You've got some time to lie down for awhile before dinner."

As the two made their way toward the door, neither saw the look of concern on Remus' face.

Once he had her settled on top of her bed, Sirius hurried to the kitchen to put together a snack for Kate to nibble before dinner. Placing cheese, crackers and some grapes on a plate, he added a conjured glass of iced tea and made his way back upstairs. When he arrived, Kate was propped up on pillows, looking through a file.

Sirius walked over, placed plate and glass on the bed stand and gently removed the file from her hands. "That's enough of that for now, love. Eat," he commanded, handing her the plate and sitting on the edge of the bed, watching every bite of food as it traveled to her mouth.

Kate swallowed a grape and smiled at him. "Sirius, really. It's a little difficult to eat under such scrutiny! I'm fine. Actually, this really is hitting the spot. I just have to remember not to skip lunch anymore."

Sirius nodded. "I'm going to have a little chat with Kingsley to make sure you don't. You're a little pale and I don't like the circles under your eyes."

Kate rolled her eyes then gave him a cheeky grin. "Well, since you're part of the reason I have them, perhaps I'll have to sleep in my own room, by myself for a few nights until I build up my strength. All that…nocturnal exercise…is wearing me out!"

Sirius raised his eyebrows and took the now empty plate from her lap. Putting it on the floor, he gently crawled up over Kate's body. "Put your arms around my neck," he whispered and, when she complied, he flipped them over so Kate was lying on top of him. "Now, Ms. Morgan, there will be no more talk of separate bedrooms, are we clear on that point?"

Kate nodded, giggling and brushed his nose with hers. "Clear, Mr. Black."

"We will sleep in the same room, in the same bed and you will fall asleep in my arms, got it?" he persisted gazing into her eyes.

"Got it," she agreed.

"I might not be able to protect you when you're at work, but I can and will take care of you while you're here. Understood?" Sirius finished.

"Understood," Kate answered, kissing him gently.

"Good," Sirius said. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"We've got three hours before Dumbledore and Kingsley get here. Nap?" Sirius asked her.

"Mmm, I'd love one. I'm exhausted," she said, sliding to the mattress and resting her head on his chest. "If you're awake before I am, make sure I'm up for the meeting, ok?"

But Sirius was already asleep. Kate smiled, closed her eyes and was asleep a moment later.

XXXXXXXX

A soft knock at her door roused Kate from her nap and she extricated herself from Sirius' arm and made her way over to open it. Remus was standing there, parchment and quill in hand. "The meeting's going to start in 20 minutes, Kate. Thought I'd let you know."

"Thanks, Remus. We'll be right down," she whispered.

Making her way into the bathroom, Kate splashed water on her face and ran a brush through her hair. As she headed for the bedroom to awaken Sirius, her stomach gave a loud rumble. Damn. Still hungry and I'll bet we've missed dinner. Maybe I can convince Remus to rustle up some eggs after the meeting. With that thought, Kate walked over to the bed and gently kissed Sirius' lips. "Darling, wake up," she said quietly. "The meeting is about to start."

Sirius opened his eyes, blinking rapidly as he came fully awake. "Kiss me again," he demanded, his voice rough with sleep.

Kate complied, kissing him tenderly. "Enough?" she asked.

"Never," Sirius replied. "But I suppose it will have to do – for now."

That said, he rolled off the bed, ran his hands through his hair and walked over to the door. Turning, he extended his hand to her. "Coming?" he asked.

Kate shook her head and smiled, catching his hand and walking with him into the hallway.


	39. The Mission Begins

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

When Kate entered the kitchen with Sirius, she found Dumbledore, Kingsley and Remus seated at the table. They greeted the couple warmly as they took their seats and Remus quickly began the discussion.

"Albus, the reason we wanted to speak with you was to share a theory that Kate has about the death of an Unspeakable and how it may relate to the break out at Azkaban prison," he said.

Albus inclined his head toward Kate. "I believe that Remus would be referring to the late Broderick Bode, would he not, my dear?"

Kate nodded, glancing at Kingsley before continuing. "There have been consistent and repetitious reports of Lucius Malfoy's presence within the Ministry building. In the majority, his presence has been noted at times that are inconsistent with any valid reason for him to be there. As Arthur Weasley will attest, he and Harry saw Lucius standing in the corridor of the Department of Mysteries, speaking with Fudge, on the day of Harry's hearing."

Albus nodded. "I, myself, saw Lucius in the Atrium as I was leaving. Go on, Kate, please."

"We know that Malfoy has been giving generously to the Ministry and its causes for some time. Originally, those contributions may easily have been his attempt to convince the government that he had not willingly followed the Dark Lord in the prior conflict. But now, I think he's looking to solidify himself within the structure of our world. He's no longer on the Board of Governors for Hogwarts, so that link to respectability is gone. I think his contributions are also intended to minimize inquiries made into his presence within the Ministry itself. When Bode was found, he was unable to speak. Ironic, given his Ministry function, but I don't believe it stops at simple irony. He was found in the corridor leading to the Department of Mysteries. We know that Voldemort very much wants to retrieve the Prophesy that is secured in that department. Voldemort, himself, is unlikely to venture to the Ministry to retrieve a Prophesy, no matter how much he would like to have it. The alternative would be to have one of his trusted minions retrieve it on his behalf. Malfoy certainly fits that bill," Kate continued.

"And he would have known how to use his position to potentially influence someone on the inside," Kingsley interjected.

Kate turned back to Dumbledore. "I think that Malfoy's intent in stepping up his Ministry visits was to uncover someone who might be sympathetic to the Dark uprising – or, at minimum, someone who was either disillusioned with the Ministry or ambitious enough – or both, to become involved. We've certainly seen that ploy work in the past," Kate looked over at Remus and Sirius, each of whom thought back to Peter and remembered that his constant desire for acceptance and power had led to his affiliation with Voldemort. "Of course," she continued, "someone within the Department of Mysteries would have been ideal for his purposes. I think that he intercepted Bode on more than one occasion, failed in his attempt to secure his willing participation and either attempted to 'convince' him via use of the Imperious curse or became frustrated with Bode's lack of cooperation and cursed him, removing his voice and altering his memories so he could not implicate Malfoy – or Voldemort - to anyone at the Ministry." Kate looked around the table. "It is, of course, only a theory."

Sirius reached forward and took her hand, squeezing it gently. "It certainly sounds like something Malfoy might do," he said, gratified to see nods from the others around the table.

Albus was silent for sometime before he addressed Kate again. "It is an extremely viable theory, my dear – extremely viable. I am concerned, however, that the modification of Bode's memory – and his subsequent belief that he was, in fact, a teapot – does not seem typical of Malfoy's methods. Why not simply kill him?"

Kate nodded. "That was troubling to me, as well – at first. It is possible that Malfoy only wanted to render Bode temporarily unable to recall the events in hopes that he could use the incident to more successfully persuade him at a later date. Another theory is that Malfoy was interrupted and needed to move more swiftly than he originally intended. He may have been able to only complete a portion of his intended modification and threw the behavior quirk in as a last resort. He could have intended to reverse the spell work in a follow-up visit – perhaps while Bode was in hospital."

"But he wasn't able to do so with Bode in such a heavily guarded ward," Remus commented. "Couldn't have made Voldemort very happy."

Kate nodded, smiling at him. "And so, either Malfoy convinced a fellow Death Eater to disguise himself and deliver the Devil's Snare to Bode at St. Mungo's…"

"…or Voldemort decided to take matters into his own hands, since Lucius had failed so miserably, and he assigned someone else to the task of silencing Bode once and for all," Dumbledore finished, nodding. "And the relevance to the Azkaban escapees?"

"With his current roster of Death Eaters unable to access the Prophesy, Voldemort may easily have decided that fresh recruits – or, rather, his old followers – needed to be reactivated as quickly as possible. The Ministry will, of course, be distracted in attempting to locate and recapture the escapees; the Death Eaters may be counting on that to successfully penetrate the Department and secure the Prophesy. I'm almost certain that Lucius would be involved in this effort – if only to re-establish his own high level position within Voldemort's ranks," Kate explained. "Hence, the two teams of Aurors," she added, watching Dumbledore carefully.

Dumbledore spared Sirius a minimal glance before turning again to Kate. "You and Kingsley plan to track Lucius Malfoy's movements, if I'm not mistaken?"

Kingsley took over at this point. "Yes. Using a combination of Invisibility charms, potions and old-fashioned stealth, Kate and I both feel that there's a good chance Lucius will lead us to at least some of the other Death Eaters."

"It will involve constant surveillance," Dumbledore observed. "The two of you cannot possibly do this on your own."

"No, Albus," Kate admitted. "We realize that we'll need help. Given the ease with which Bode was attacked, neither of us is comfortable using other Aurors. That would also compromise their jobs within the Ministry and potentially tip our own hand regarding the Order. We were both hoping that the Order could contribute to the effort by focusing some of our own membership on the task."

Albus considered the matter for a few moments then looked at the other end of the table. "Remus?"

The werewolf lifted his head and returned the older wizard's frank gaze. "In truth, it's dangerous. We're proposing surveillance on one of the most powerful Dark wizards alive today – and one given to unbridled exhibitions of cruelty. If we are successful, we will potentially face up to ten of the most vicious Death Eaters we've ever encountered. I won't lie to you, this is not a good situation. That said, if our planning is tight and we are able to commit our strongest members to the task, we have a chance of being at least moderately successful. And in this battle, moderate success is worth the risk. If we can take any of them out of commission, I think it's worth it. You've got my vote," he finished.

Dumbledore looked out over the group. "You're going to be using an Invisibility potion incorporating powdered hellebore, I understand. Unusual, but effective." At Kate's nod, he continued. "Have you approached Severus about brewing it for you?"

"I haven't had the opportunity, Albus. I am reluctant to travel to Hogwarts to meet with him, however, given the current climate there." Kate smiled apologetically. "Have you another suggestion?"

Albus nodded. "As a matter of fact, why don't you allow me to speak with him on your behalf? I'm certain there will be no trouble. Now, I think that we have a great deal to accomplish before our next meeting. Kate, I trust that you and this group can come up with the surveillance and tracking plans?" Kate nodded and he continued. "Excellent! I will make time on our agenda for you and Kingsley to speak with the Order and secure others as members of your team. Severus will also be in attendance and will have a firm idea of the volume of potion that will be needed. I thank you all. I feel this has been a most productive meeting and I am grateful to you both," he nodded to Kate and Kingsley, "for your initiative and diligence. And now, I should get back to the school…given the 'current climate'." Albus' eyes twinkled as he looked at Kate and rose from his chair.

"Thank you, Albus," she said quietly, rising to stand with him.

Sirius followed Albus and Kingsley up the stairs to re-secure the locking charms.

When they had left, Kate turned to Remus. "Any leftovers from dinner?"

Remus smiled. "Ah, I thought you might be a bit peckish since you slept through dinner. How do you feel about warmed-up chicken and roasted potatoes?"

Kate smiled. "Couldn't ask for better," she said. "We'd probably better warm up enough for Sirius, as well."

"Consider it done," and Remus went to work, setting the food to warm on the stove.

By the time Sirius made it back to the kitchen, the food was hot and ready for plating. Kate dished it up and set two full plates on the kitchen table while Sirius poured tea for the three of them.

They ate silently for awhile then Sirius spoke up. "If the Order becomes involved in the surveillance plan, I'm guessing that you won't have to work on surveillance assignments by yourself."

Kate shook her head. "You know that neither Aurors nor the Order work singly, Sirius. We always have partners."

Sirius nodded. "This hellebore invisibility potion is potent, yes?"

Kate glanced quickly at Remus before answering. "Yes. It has many benefits, but the potency is one of the most compelling. One dose lasts approximately 3 hours and it can be retaken as needed without any harmful side effects. It's herbal, essentially, and the other ingredients compliment those qualities very well."

Sirius took a deep breath. "It seems to me, then, that perhaps I could use it to take part in this surveillance mission."

"No," Kate said and rose from her seat, picking up her plate from the table and carrying it to the sink.

"That's it?" Sirius asked, incredulously. "'no'? Nothing further, just 'no'?"

Kate turned from the sink, her eyebrows raised. "What do you want me to say to you, Sirius? You know that you can't leave, why do you put us in the position of having to create conflict and tension by bringing it up?"

Sirius pushed his plate away from him roughly. "If it's so foolproof, then there shouldn't be an issue who uses it, should there? If it's safe enough to keep you hidden, it should be safe enough for anyone to use."

"Padfoot," Remus warned, his voice low, his gaze fixed on Kate, who was clearly not open to debate on this point.

"Sirius, I'm not going to argue with you. The decision isn't even entirely mine – it's Dumbledore's ultimate call. I'll tell you what – you send him an owl and ask him if he'll release you for this mission. If he agrees, and by that I mean that he communicates directly with me and tells me he's decided you can be part of this, then I'll consider it."

"That's not fair, Kate," Sirius protested.

"No, Sirius, what's not fair is that you don't think that I can take care of myself, so you want to throw caution to the winds and be my partner in this mission. Well, that's not going to happen. Remember when we both were with the MLE? The Ministry wouldn't allow couples to be partners then, either. It's a distraction – and one that we can't afford on any mission, but particularly on this one," Kate stopped and lowered her voice. "Listen, Sirius, I understand how frustrating this is for you and how tempting it is when this is a mission that appears to have the ideal strategy to avoid detection. But, please, you know what's at stake here. If something were to happen to you and you were detected or worse, apprehended, think what that would mean – for you, for Harry … for me." Kate walked over and stood behind him, resting her hand on his shoulder lightly. "I couldn't take it if something happened to you. Not again."

Sirius reached up and covered her hand with his. "I know, Katie-girl, I know. But I feel the same way about you. It wouldn't be any different for me if something happened to you. I guess I just thought that if I could be there, working with you, we could do something together and watch each other's backs."

Kate leaned down and kissed the top of his head.

"Kate, can we request the person we'd like as a partner?" Remus asked quietly.

Kate considered it for a moment. "I don't see why we couldn't. We'd want to partner people who made sense, but in general, I would have to say yes."

Remus smiled. "Do we make sense, Kate?"

Kate smiled. "I'd have to say we do."

"Padfoot, if I were partnered with Kate, would you feel better about the whole thing?"

Sirius smiled at his friend. "If it can't be me, Mooney, then yes, I would feel much better if you were out there with Kate."

"Then I'll speak with Kingsley in the morning and we'll make sure it's noted at the Order meeting before the assignments are made." Kate paused for a yawn. "For now, though, I'm going to bed."

"I'll be along, Katie," Sirius said, watching her to the door. When she had gone, he turned back to Remus. "Thanks, Mooney."

"Of course, Padfoot, but it's no hardship for me, believe me. I enjoy working with Kate," Remus told him honestly, rising. "I'm going to do some reading before I turn in. Are you staying down here?"

Sirius shook his head. "I'll walk up with you."

XXXXXXXX

When Sirius walked into Kate's room, he found that she was already in bed and asleep. She'd left the thick candle burning on the bed stand next to Sirius side of the bed and he smiled at the sight.

Walking into the bathroom, Sirius made short work of washing and cleaning his teeth. Changing into sleeping pants, he crossed the room and extinguished the candle. Sliding into bed and settling the covers over himself, Sirius moved closer to Kate, snuggling against her back and placing his arm around her waist.

Kate shifted back against him and placed her hand on top of his. Snuggled together, Sirius soon fell asleep.

XXXXXXXX

Kate awakened to a semi-darkened room and an unsettled feeling in her stomach. Rising quickly, she crossed into the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind her. Taking deep breaths, she tried to quell the roiling nausea, but soon lost the battle. Dropping to her knees, she vomited repeatedly until she was certain there was nothing left in her stomach. Resting her head against the cool porcelain for a moment, Kate tried to think of anyone in her department who had been ill with any type of stomach ailment, but she could come up with no one. She flushed the toilet and stood cautiously, making her way over to the sink. There, she splashed cool water on her face and cleaned her teeth to rid her mouth of the bitter taste. When she was finished, Kate looked up and caught her reflection in the mirror. She could not remember a time when she had looked that pale. Shrugging her shoulders, she crossed over to the shower and turned on the taps. When the water ran hot enough, Kate stepped under the stream. As she went through her routine of shampooing and conditioning her hair, Kate tried to remember what she had eaten that might have prompted this type of reaction but, as before, she could think of nothing. When she finished her routine, she dried herself quickly, charmed her hair dry and, wrapped in a towel, she headed back into the bedroom to get dressed.

"You're up early," Sirius said, sleepily.

"I'm sorry, darling," Kate said. "I didn't mean to disturb you. Go back to sleep."

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Fine. Go back to sleep, love," Kate said, dressing hurriedly. "I'm going to grab some coffee and head into the office. That way, perhaps I can get back a little bit early this evening."

"Eat something, too," Sirius said, his order followed by a yawn.

Kate shuddered at the thought of putting anything on her stomach, but forced a smile and said, "Yes, dear," and headed for the door.

"Hey, no kiss?" Sirius' voice reached her just as she put her hand on the doorknob. Kate walked back over to the bed and leaned down until her lips rested against his.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you back," he said softly. "Now, go and eat something before I have to come down there and force feed you!"

Kate ruffled his hair. "Go back to sleep and I'll see you tonight." With one final kiss, she straightened and retraced her steps to the door. This time, there was no sound from the wizard in the middle of the bed save his soft, even breathing. Kate smiled and closed the door behind her.

Arriving in the kitchen some moments later, Kate was unsurprised to find Remus sitting at the table, the morning Prophet spread out before him.

"If it wasn't for that newspaper, I would swear you hadn't moved since I left you here last night," Kate said, smiling.

"Oh, I went to sleep about an hour after you retired. You know that I don't sleep much just before the full moon," Remus responded.

Kate took a closer look at her friend and saw the dark circles around his eyes. "I can't think of anyone who deserves to go through this every month less than you, my friend."

Remus smiled. "I agree, but there's nothing we can do about it, so we'll just soldier on, shall we? I'm used to it by now, after all – and with that big mutt of yours, it's not quite as bad as it could be."

Kate nodded, sitting opposite him.

"Tea?" Remus offered, but Kate shook her head.

"Not for me, thanks. My stomach is still a little off," Kate patted her midriff ruefully. "We had a bit of a disagreement when I woke up this morning and I lost. I don't care to repeat that experience again, thanks."

Remus looked at her thoughtfully. "What do you think is causing it?"

Kate shrugged. "Could be a combination of things, really. The stress of the holidays, returning to work, Death Eater escape from Azkaban, dangerous covert mission that, if discovered by the Ministry, could cost me my job and, if discovered by the target, could cost more than that, and, last but not least, an antsy, ex-convict lover with a short fuse. Take your pick of reasons!"

Remus held up his hands in defeat. "Ok, ok, I get it! You're right – it's not like you don't have a reason." He paused and grew serious. "Promise me, though, that if it doesn't clear up in a day or so, you'll have Poppy or a healer at St. Mungo's take a quick look. Yes?"

Kate shook her head at him for a moment, and then said, "Alright, Remus. I promise." She checked her watch. "I'm going to head into the office. Maybe Kingsley will show up early and we can do a little strategizing before the day begins."

"Stay safe, Kate," Remus said as she headed for the door.

Kate smiled and headed up the stairs.


	40. A Promise Reluctantly Broken

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Kate walked into the quiet of the Ministry's Atrium and headed straight for the restroom located just steps away from the entrance. She told herself that it was the lack of food combined with the unsettling feelings of Apparition that were to blame for her stomach's sudden revolt. Collecting herself and rinsing her mouth, Kate made her way back out into the hallway and toward the bank of elevators at the opposite end. The normal hustle and bustle surrounding the elevators was absent as the arrival of the bulk of the Ministry's daytime employees was still three hours away.

"Good morning, Kate," Kingsley greeted her as she walked into their department. He peered closely at her as she entered her cubicle and placed her briefcase on her desktop. "Are you feeling alright?"

Kate sat down in her chair and shook her head. "I've picked up some kind of stomach bug and my system's a bit off. I'll be fine once it passes."

Kingsley nodded. "Get some crackers from the cafeteria. They'll help settle your stomach so we can get some work done."

Kate smiled wryly at him. "Thanks for your unbridled concern, Kings," she said, rising. "I'll be right back and we can start looking at surveillance schedules. That is why you're here early, as well, right?"

"Right," Kingsley affirmed, settling himself in one of the chairs opposite her desk. "Hurry back!"

Kate entered the nearly empty cafeteria and approached the older witch at the counter, who smiled as she drew level with her. "Good morning," Kate greeted her. "I'm looking for some plain crackers and a cup of tea to take away."

The woman reached beneath the counter and pressed several packages of Aunt Drina's Digestive Biscuits into Kate's hand. "Here, you are, dearie. No, no; no charge," she protested, holding up one hand as Kate tried to hand her some coin from her pocket. "I remember back when I was your age. Mornings were the toughest time for me for the first month or so, and then things settled down. These biscuits saved me. Just keep a package with you at all times – especially next to your bed for when you first wake up. Pop a couple into your mouth at the first feeling of nausea. You'll be fine. Oh, and tea is probably a bad idea. Let me get you some iced water to take with you."

Kate stood still, gaping at the retreating back of the Cafeteria witch. What on earth is she blathering on about? 'Mornings were the toughest time for me for the first ...' Kate closed her mouth with a 'pop' as the meaning of the words sunk in. No, oh, no – she's mistaken. She thinks I'm…but that's impossible. I can't be…. But, Kate realized with some degree of shock and – deep in her heart – certainty that she could, in fact, be pregnant. We certainly haven't been using anything to prevent it, she thought, wryly.

"…nice and cold for you. Small sips are best," Kate shook herself out of her thoughts as she realized the woman had returned to the counter with her water. Kate gave her several sickles and thanked her with a smile. As she turned to head back to her office, the woman called out, "Good luck to you, dearie." Kate waved, then thought to herself, I'm afraid I'm going to need a good deal of that if this is actually true. She walked back to her office, munching the biscuits and lost in thought.

"Kate?" Kingsley's voice broke into her reverie. "I've been thinking that you and I shouldn't be partnered together given our positions here."

Kate shook herself from her thoughts for the second time that morning and sat at her desk. Taking some parchment from her briefcase, she looked up at the senior Auror and smiled. "You and Remus are of like minds, it would seem," she said. "He's suggested that perhaps he and I be partnered and I've agreed that it makes sense."

Kingsley nodded. "It does, indeed." He scribbled a note on the parchment before him and said, "Shall we discuss the schedule? We can't really do much with additional pairings until we know who will be involved."

Kate agreed. "Let's draft the schedule then." And as they worked, Kate became more engrossed in the mission at hand and pushed more disquieting thoughts to the back of her mind for later.

When their colleagues began arriving for their normal shifts, Kate and Kingsley had drafted the schedule – and numbers of individuals needed for each shift. Satisfied that they had covered all known – and some possible – hurdles, they had everything in order and had already shifted to the tasks scheduled for the day.

After a morning full of meetings on the escaped Death Eaters, Kate was surprised to find that lunchtime had arrived – and that she was famished. Looking back on the morning, she realized that her stomach had given her no further trouble after she'd eaten a package of those crackers. Recalling the comments from the cafeteria witch, Kate withdrew one of the packets from her purse and reviewed it.

"Ready for lunch?" Kingsley's booming voice made Kate jump in alarm, but that alarm turned into irritation when he burst out laughing. "What have you got there?"

Kate glared at him, but showed him the package. "Crackers. The ones I got from the cafeteria. This morning. As you instructed. See?"

Kingsley looked. "So she gave you those things, yeah? Good! Muggles have a version called oyster crackers. Odd thing, they don't look or taste a thing like oysters. BUT, when one of the Aurors had a case in Muggle London awhile ago, he had a problem with his stomach and the Muggle doctor told him he had a 'mulcher' and told him to eat oyster crackers if he was hungry between meals. Said it would soak up the acid and stopped him from getting sick."

Kate laughed out loud. "Do you mean that he had an 'ulcer', Kingsley?" she asked.

A cheerful grin creased the man's features. "Yes, that was it! Did they work for you?"

Kate felt a wave of relief surge over her as she nodded and dropped the crackers back into her purse. Of course! She had always been prone to bouts of nerve-related stomach disorders. Her mother had called it "sour stomach". That must be the explanation. But even as this thought crossed her mind, Kate couldn't forget what the elderly witch had said to her earlier that morning.

Pushing the thought away again, Kate responded, "I believe they did. Let's head downstairs while I've got my appetite, shall we?"

Once they were seated, Kate and Kingsley barely had time to remove their plates from their trays before the sound of someone clearing their throat caught their attention. Malodros Spear, the young Auror who had felt the rough edge of Kate's tongue, was standing beside their table.

"Spear," Kingsley acknowledged his presence. "Were you looking for luncheon companions?"

Kate could barely hide her smile. Clearly, if the young and very ambitious Auror had found Kingsley by himself, that would have been exactly what he would be angling for. With Kate already seated at the table, however, that seemed very unlikely.

Spear shot a glance at Kate, but addressed Kingsley. "No, I've just finished actually. I was hoping to speak with you – privately."

Kate sipped her soup delicately and remained silent. If Kingsley wanted her to leave, he'd say something; of that she was certain.

"Sit down," Kingsley said, using his foot to move a spare chair away from the table. "Anything you'd say to me privately can be said in front of Kate. There are no divisions in our department, Spear. You should know that."

Reluctantly, and with another glance in Kate's direction, Spear sat in the chair Kingsley indicated. "I've heard that you both have been working additional hours and it's rumored to be connected to the Death Eater assignment."

Kate refused to look up at either of them. She wasn't certain where this was leading and felt it was better for Kingsley to address Spear's comment.

"You should know better than to listen to rumors, Spear. Kate and I are both senior in this department and, as such, have heavy caseloads. Was there something specific that you wanted to know?" Kingsley asked, seasoning his stew and sitting, spoon poised above the bowl, waiting for Spear's response.

"I want in," he said, words rushing out on an exhale of breath. "If there's something more going on than the Death Eater recapture, I want to be a part of it."

Kingsley ate in silence for a few moments then paused, laying down his spoon and looking at the young Auror intently. "As I said a few moments ago, you should know better than to listen to rumors. You are working on the only Death Eater recapture mission sponsored and supported by the MLE. You are part of the only team focused on that effort. Whatever else you might have heard did not come from me or from anyone else in any authority. Therefore, it is not credible information. Am I clear?"

Spear shifted in his seat. "Yes, you're very clear. Still," he paused and looked at Kate momentarily before returning his gaze to Kingsley. "you must admit that even the most farfetched rumor has some basis in fact."

Kingsley looked him over for a moment then responded, "Yes, you are right. And in this case, the fact of the matter is that there are far too many people in this building with so little to do that they fabricate rumor and innuendo in an effort to stir things up. I would try very hard to stay away from those people, Spear. An ambitious young Auror could find himself with a very, very long climb toward career advancement."

Spear stood, quivering with outrage. "Are you threatening me?"

Kingsley shrugged, picking up his spoon again. "I'm your superior, you're my direct report. I don't threaten; I mentor. Consider it career advice from your mentor. Keep your head down and do your job. Stop listening to idle gossip. If it's advancement you want, that's the way to get it. The only way."

Spear stayed where he was, glaring at Kingsley for a moment longer then strode purposefully for the exit.

Kate, long finished with lunch, waited until he had left the cafeteria before speaking. "So, where do you think this 'rumor' started?"

Kingsley shook his head. "I don't think there is a rumor, Kate. I think he's fishing based on something he's either heard or seen. I would suggest you exercise caution whilst in the building. Always know who's around you, who can overhear. I know, I know," he held up his hand as Kate began to protest. "You're an outstanding Auror and I know that you do that as a matter of habit. Given this conversation, however, I'd advise that you step it up. Lock up your parchment and other files when you leave. Use protection and repellant spells and charms in your cubicle."

Kate raised her eyebrows at him in surprise. "All this for a junior Auror with an ego the size of Hogsmeade?" she asked.

Kingsley held her gaze, no trace of a smile on his face. "Yes, when the junior Auror's family are all Slytherin."

Kate drew a sharp breath. "Slytherin! Kingsley, how did he get into this program?"

Kingsley lowered his voice. "He wasn't sorted into Slytherin; he was Gryffindor. Duplicate situation to Black's, isn't it? Except, it's completely different. I'm not sure how he managed it – the Sorting. But he's still closely connected to his family; he never severed ties with them. Perhaps at one time he was truly Gryffindor. Perhaps he still is. Perhaps it's just blind ambition and a thirst for recognition that's making him behave the way he is. It would fit the typical Slytherin behavior, wouldn't it? Let's keep our eyes open."

"Should we limit his access to information and participation on the team?" Kate asked as they walked toward the exit.

Kingsley shook his head. "Not right away. Let's give him some room to prove us wrong. If we watch him closely and see anything we don't like, we'll do it then. I'll meet with Dawlish and give him a bit of detail. Tell him to watch Spear closely."

Kate nodded. "Ok, Kingsley, we'll see what happens. But if Dawlish sees anything that makes him think twice about this kid, we pull the rug out right away, yes?"

"Absolutely."

XXXXXXXX

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Kate and Kingsley dealt with standard responsibilities and did not revisit the Malfoy surveillance topic again, by unspoken agreement. Kate found herself keeping an eye on Spear throughout the afternoon, but the Auror remained in the department and, as far as she could see, was busy working on the caseload he shared with his more senior partner, an Italian Auror by the name of Gianni Valdaccio, who had transferred to England some ten years earlier. Gianni was well liked at the MLE and had an easygoing personality that Kingsley felt would help loosen up his rookie partner. They appeared to get on well and, as difficult as it was for Kate to believe, Kingsley assured her that Spear had definitely relaxed a bit under Gianni's mentorship.

Kate had a bit of a nauseous feeling mid-afternoon, but a packet of digestive biscuits soon put her right again and her mood was decidedly more upbeat when, at 4 pm, Tonks stuck her head into Kate's cube with a cheerful, "Wotcher, Kate!"

Kate smiled at the young woman. "How are you?"

Tonks smiled and flopped into one of Kate's guest chairs. "Not too bad – you? Snuffles said you haven't been feeling very well."

Kate rolled her eyes. "He did, did he? I wonder he hasn't begun Healer studies by now, he's so talented!"

Tonks giggled and Kate smiled at her before continuing. "It's nothing to worry about. I've always had a bit of an acid stomach. It bothers me when I'm anxious or if there's too much going on at one time. I've survived it my whole life; I'm sure I'll be just fine this go-round."

Tonks nodded. "I'm glad. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you, Kate," she said shyly.

Kate reached over and patted her arm. "You're very sweet, but I'm fine."

"Snuffles invited me to have dinner with you three tonight," Tonks said, her face flushing a bit as she spoke. "Ok with you?"

Kate nodded. "Of course! Oh – they don't expect me to cook, do they?"

Tonks laughed. "No, no. They said they were going to handle it."

Kate feigned alarm. "Well, then. I'd best get back to make sure they haven't leveled the place, hadn't I? What time are you coming over?"

"Oh, around 7. I want to go home and change, first. You know, take off the day, put on my face – that stuff," Tonks said.

Kate smiled to herself. Oh, Remus. You'd best wake up, my friend. This young woman is exactly what you need! She nodded. "Sounds like a very good plan to me, Tonks. I've been here since the wee small hours of the morning. I'm heading home now."

With a smile and a wave, Kate headed out of the department, not seeing how one pair of eyes followed her path to the door.

XXXXXXXX

Kate went down to the kitchen upon her arrival at Grimmauld Place. "Honey, I'm home," she called out merrily, looking around until Sirius' head poked out from the pantry door. Seeing her standing there in her Ministry robes, a brilliant smile lit up his face and he hurried toward her. "Katie-girl!" he exclaimed, hugging her tightly. "Let me look at you." He leaned down and peered intently at her face. "Color – good. Eyes – bright. Lips – kissable." Sirius gave her a cheeky grin and gave her a lingering kiss. Pulling back, he put his hand on her forehead and feigned a frown. "Oh, but your temperature may be a bit high," he announced. "But, that's easily explained as the effects of a certain wizard, wouldn't you agree?"

Kate couldn't resist. "Oh, Sirius, you know Kingsley and I are just friends."

Sirius let go of her and gave her a glare. "Not funny at all, Katie-girl. The day Kingsley bloody Shacklebolt can raise your temperature will be the day I'll just have to…"

"Careful, there," Katie interrupted, chuckling. "Don't promise anything too spectacular; you might just have to deliver!"

"You wound me, Kate," Sirius said, placing his hand over his heart. "Here I've been, slaving over a hot cauldron all afternoon – just to make you happy."

Kate leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Please! Spare me the theatrics. Besides, I understand that you have a partner in crime for this dinner."

Sirius kissed the tip of her nose. "Indeed. But, as you can plainly see, my werewolf has abandoned his duties."

"And you so look like you're busy cooking dinner," a hoarse, but very amused voice chimed in from behind Kate and she turned to see Remus emerging from the wine cellar with two dusty bottles in his hands.

"Our wine steward is so irritable today," Sirius said, releasing her and moving over to the stove.

"Must be the management," Remus said, stooping to kiss Kate on her cheek. "How are you feeling?" he asked in a whisper.

Kate smiled and squeezed his arm. "Much better. I think it's just stress and, perhaps, something I've eaten that didn't agree with me. I've been eating some digestive biscuits and they seemed to do the trick."

Remus straightened, looking at Kate with an odd expression on his face.

"What is it, Remus?" she asked.

He looked at her a moment longer, then shook his head. "Nothing. Got distracted for a moment. I'm glad you're better."

Kate looked at him curiously, then announced that since they looked to have things well in hand, she as going to the library to do a little research before dinner. "Try not to fight, alright? I'd hate to have to drag out the hose."

Kate headed up the stairway to the sound of indignant noises from the wizards in the kitchen.

Once she'd reached the library, Kate headed over to the books the Blacks had kept on pureblood genealogy or, as Sirius called it, "the religion section" of the collection. Head tilted to one side, Kate read the titles on the spines from a respectful distance. She hadn't forgotten that some of the books carried powerful Dark protection spells – cast by their former owners – that could do significant damage to anyone without Black blood running through their veins. That was the last thing she needed with everything else that was going on these days!

"There you are," Kate said aloud as she found the book she was looking for looked around for the small stepladder so she could reach the volume. Before she could locate it, however, she heard "Accio" cast behind her and turned to find Remus standing in the middle of the room with the book firmly in his grasp.

"My hero," Kate said, smiling as she approached him. Her step faltered, however, when she saw the look on his face. It was not the lighthearted expression he had worn earlier in the kitchen. "What is it?" she asked. "Was there a message from Dumbledore? Is Harry…"

Remus held up his hand and Kate fell silent. "No, no. Nothing like that. Kate, sit down, I need to ask something of you." He gestured to the sofa and stepped aside to allow her to pass and settle herself on the deep cushion. Setting the book down on the table, he joined her.

"Kate, do you trust me?" Remus asked, looking at her intently.

Kate's face registered both dismay and surprise. "Remus! Of course I do. I trust you with my life. Why would you ask me such a thing?"

Remus took a deep breath. "If you trust me, why would you not confide in me? Particularly when the confidence was so significant?"

Kate shook her head. "Remus, I don't know what you're talking about, I'm sorry. If you can speak plainly, I promise I will tell you the truth. I would never hide anything from you."

It was Remus' turn to look confused, but after several moments, his face cleared and comprehension dawned. "Merlin – how could it be that - you wouldn't know?"

Kate felt her body begin to tremble and she closed her eyes. All she could picture in her mind was the white-haired witch from the cafeteria. "Remus, you're beginning to frighten me. Please, what are you on about?"

Remus reached forward and took her hand in his. "Katie, when I leaned down to kiss you downstairs, I knew immediately." He paused and touched his nose. "I can't help it. It's part of the lycanthropy." He took a deep breath. "Kate…"

Kate opened her eyes and looked at Remus, nodding. "I'm pregnant," she whispered, her eyes filling with tears. "I didn't want to admit it, didn't want to believe it was true."

Remus drew her to him and just let her cry for a few moments. Kate sat still, just taking deep breaths and trying to calm her mind. After awhile, she sat up. "Thank you," she said.

Remus looked at her curiously. "You're welcome, but I'm not sure what I've done," he admitted.

"Neither am I. Forced me to face the truth, maybe. I think I would have been happy living in denial a bit longer," Kate said, equally honestly.

"What now?" Remus asked.

Kate looked at him. "No idea. I can't be more than a month along, so I have some time before my condition becomes obvious."

"You need to see a Healer to make sure you're alright," Remus said.

Kate nodded. "I will. Remus, I can't walk away from this mission, you know that, right?"

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Kate, Sirius will never agree to your participation once he knows about this. You know that, right?"

Kate nodded. "And that is why I'm not going to tell him. No!" Kate raised her voice when Remus opened his mouth to interrupt her. "No! What if this is the mission that proves his innocence? What if we find Pettigrew as part of the surveillance? What if the entire war is turned based on the possible recapture of these Death Eaters? Of Malfoy? Sirius could be free because of this mission – if we're lucky. And even if it doesn't turn out that way, he will drive himself insane here, by himself, if I am anywhere other than right in front of him. Even if I walked way from an active role in the Malfoy case, he wouldn't be satisfied unless I worked here – right under his nose. Remus, Sirius will lose everything he's gained over the past weeks, fretting about how he will ever have a place in this child's life if he's forced to be on the run. No, I can't tell him – not now."

"But Kate, you both promised to be completely honest with each other. No more secrets," Remus reasoned.

Kate's eyes filled with tears again. "I know, Remus. Don't think I haven't already thought about that. But, I'm going to have to risk his wrath this time. There's too much at stake." She paused, closing her eyes to collect her thoughts. When she opened them, Remus inhaled sharply at the determination he saw in their brown depths. "You're going to have to trust me, Remus. I'm going to have to trust you and your confidence. You cannot tell Sirius about this. You must promise me that. In return, the moment this is over, I promise that I will tell him; and I will keep you out of it so he doesn't feel betrayed by us both. Agreed?"

Remus just looked at her, a feeling of unease settling over him. When he didn't answer right away, Kate reached out and grasped his hand in both of hers. "Remus! Please!" she whispered fiercely.

Remus looked down at her and sighed. "I said you could trust me, Kate and I meant it. I promise you that I will say nothing. This is your news to share."

Kate hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Remus."

Remus looked down at her. "Make no mistake, Kate, I don't agree with you, but I will support you. Now, go upstairs and get ready for dinner. We'll look at this research later."

Kate nodded and, together, they headed for the door.


	41. Condition Confirmed and Loyalties Questioned

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Dinner was a fairly riotous affair, with Remus sharing stories of the Marauders' days at Hogwarts, tales that were soaked up as quickly by Sirius as by his younger cousin. Well aware that Sirius' happy memories were significantly incomplete, Remus and Kate both chose to share stories that would give some of them back to him. By the time dinner was over, everyone was wiping tears of mirth from their eyes.

Sirius suggested that they have pie and coffee in the library and everyone agreed after both Remus and Sirius declined the witches' offer of assistance in cleaning up the kitchen. "We'll take care of it later," Remus assured them, gesturing to Sirius behind the latter's back. Tonks giggled, assuming an expression of pure innocence when her cousin whirled around and asked about the cause of her amusement. Sirius' gaze shifted from Tonks to Remus and he rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically, placing his hand on the small of Kate's back and muttering something about "ungrateful furry friends" as they climbed the stairs.

Kate settled in one of the wingback chairs in front of the fire while Sirius took the other. Remus and Tonks were left to share the couch, which Sirius had surreptitiously shortened before the werewolf and his companion had made it into the room. Kate shook her head at his devious behavior, but was secretly tickled that he'd stepped in and "helped" his old friend, even if said friend had no idea he'd done it.

After Remus and Tonks were settled, Sirius rose and served healthy portions of pie to his guests, although when he reached Kate, she declined. "Ate way too much dinner," she told him and Sirius reluctantly took her plate for himself. Instead of returning to his chair, Sirius chose to sit on the floor at Kate's feet, leaning slightly against her legs to keep contact. Kate ruffled his hair, inwardly smiling at his strategic seating arrangements.

As realization dawned on him, Remus gave Sirius a mild glare; Sirius waggled his eyebrows and chuckled under his breath. For her part, Tonks was busy devouring the pastry and missed the whole thing.

"Mmm," Tonks murmured appreciatively, licking the back of her fork. "This is fantastic! Sirius, you really can't expect me to believe you made this yourself, can you?"

Before Sirius could answer, Remus cut in. "Tonks, did Padfoot tell you he made the pie?"

Tonks nodded, her pink hair bobbing to and fro with the motion. "When I first arrived."

Remus looked at his best friend, who was doing his best not to meet his eyes, looking everywhere but at the werewolf. "Tonks," Remus said. "You do realize that Sirius is delusional, don't you?"

Tonks nodded cheerfully. "Abso-bloody-lutely," she responded. "It's part of the gene pool, I suspect. But I've learned that it's best to just play along with him."

Remus laughed aloud. "Bravo, Tonks!"

Sirius feigned disgust and turned to beg assistance from Kate. When he saw her, however, he fell silent. Kate was curled up in the wingback chair, feet tucked underneath her and her cheek resting against her fist. She was sound asleep. Sirius placed his empty plate on the floor next to him and rose quietly, leaning over Kate and softly calling her name.

Kate's eyes opened and she jumped a bit when she saw Sirius' face so close to hers.

"Shh," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to startle you. Come. I'll walk you upstairs so you can get some proper rest."

Kate looked over at Remus and Tonks and smiled apologetically. "It's been really hectic since the escape," she said, not quite meeting Remus' eyes. "I guess I'm more tired than I thought."

Tonks nodded. "I know just what you mean, Kate! I was sitting at my desk last night, catching up on some paperwork and the next thing I knew, I woke up with a bunch of paperclips stuck to my cheek and drool on my blotter. Conked right out." She shook her head, smiling brightly.

"Too much detail, Tonksie," Sirius said to her, returning her smile as he helped Kate to her feet.

Kate gracefully stepped away from him; some part of her annoyed at his hovering, and made her way to the doorway, calling her goodnights to her friends. When they reached the hallway, Kate turned to Sirius. "I'm fine. I can make it upstairs on my own. Please go back in and visit with Remus and Tonks."

Sirius shook his head and reached for her hand. "They'll be here when I come back. I'll just see that you're properly tucked in and then I'll head straight for the library. Come on," he gave her hand a gentle tug. "Katie?" he called to her when she didn't move.

Kate gently disentangled her fingers from his. "Listen, Sirius, I don't need a nursemaid. You know how early I was up and out of here this morning and things never let up for a moment all day long. I'm tired. That's all there is to it. And you insisting on taking me on upstairs just makes me feel like a recalcitrant child and makes me look that way in front of our friends. Please, just stop it and go back inside. I'll see you upstairs later on. And, Sirius, I do mean 'later on'!" Kate finished, her voice firm.

Sirius nodded, his face looking somewhat abashed and stepped closer to her. "I just wanted to make sure you were settled and that you were alright." He leaned over and kissed her cheek gently. "I'll be up later, then. Good night."

As Kate watched him enter the library she suddenly regretted being so contrary. His hovering really was annoying, but his heart was in the right place. She took a step toward the library, but realized that there was no way she could gracefully have this conversation with Sirius now. The hard thing was that she knew she'd never be awake when Sirius finally came upstairs. Kate sighed, reversing her steps and heading back for the staircase. She'd have to wait until morning to set things right.

Kate washed her face and cleaned her teeth, then changed into a pair of running shorts and a t-shirt for bed. Before slipping between the sheets, Kate took a package of digestive biscuits from her purse and placed them on the stand next to her side of the bed. Perhaps she could stave off a repeat performance of this morning's nausea if she had them handy when she awoke. She couldn't pass what she now knew as morning sickness off as a simple stomach ailment once Sirius became aware of the new morning ritual; that she knew.

Kate lit the candle next to Sirius' side of the bed and settled herself beneath the warm covers. As she waited for sleep to claim her, Kate ran her hand down to rest on her still-flat abdomen. There, in the silent, dimly lit room, Kate allowed herself to give in to the sense of wonder that had been running under the surface of her emotions since speaking with Remus earlier in the evening. Despite the incredibly inconvenient timing, the ghastly morning sickness and the total uncertainty of their world at the moment, Kate was incredibly aware of the presence of this tiny life within her. She couldn't physically feel it, nor was its presence obvious to anyone around her, but in that moment, Kate's emotional connection with her child – their child was forged. Kate spread her fingers over the taut, smooth skin, trying to imagine what this child would be like. Of course, at the moment, it probably was no bigger than a pea. Given the amount of disruption it was responsible for, even at this early stage, led Kate's thoughts to Sirius and she smiled, sadly. As much as she longed to tell him, Kate believed with all her heart that her decision not to do so was the right one for the moment. If she knew nothing else, Kate knew Sirius and believed that the news would send him into a tailspin. He was, clearly, the most wanted wizard in their world, believed to be in league with Voldemort and responsible for the deaths of two of his dearest friends and 13 Muggles besides. Sirius was on the run, in hiding from both Wizard and Muggle law enforcement, living in the house that haunted his childhood memories. Kate could not believe that he would accept the thought of bringing a child of his own into this place. As a minor point, but one that she also considered: while Sirius had a fortune in gold in his vault at Gringott's, he could not access it and, therefore, would undoubtedly feel that he could not adequately support a child. Kate sighed. In addition to all of these issues, and perhaps the very core of her decision was Sirius' overall emotional health and self-image. While he had improved dramatically, Kate knew that every fractured memory that popped into his head, every nightmare he endured, every uncontrollable fear that gripped his heart and dictated his actions reinforced to Sirius that he was far from whole. With the dysfunction he endured with his own family, Kate knew that although Sirius longed for a child, for a family, it was a far-off dream, one he imagined takin place in a world very different than it was today. Kate felt the hot trail of tears slide over her temples and into her hair. Why was nothing easy for him – for them? She allowed herself the luxury of her emotions for awhile longer, then sat up, reaching for the tissues next to her bed and using them to clear the moisture from her face. Shifting until she was on Sirius' side of the bed, Kate settled back down under the covers and turned her face into his pillow, inhaling his scent. Warmth and security settled over her in a huge wave and she began to feel drowsy again. Burrowing further down into the covers, Kate closed her eyes and fell asleep.

XXXXXXXX

After walking Tonks to the Apparition point outside Grimmauld, Remus returned to the kitchen to find Sirius directing the dishes from table to sink and setting them to wash. Smiling, Remus joined him and soon, the kitchen was almost – if not completely – in the same condition it enjoyed when Molly cleaned up for the night.

"Cup of tea, Padfoot?" Remus invited, setting the kettle to boil with a tap from his wand and pausing as he reached for mugs from inside the cabinet.

"Love one, Mooney," Sirius replied, pulling out sugar and milk and sitting at the table while Mooney steeped the tea.

The two friends sat quietly at the table, sipping the hot brew. It wasn't long before Sirius broke the silence.

"Mooney, do you think Kate's alright?" he asked, concern obvious in both expression and voice.

Merlin. Remus blew the steam away from his mug and took in a mouthful of tea before answering. "I think she's tired, as she said," he replied. "The MLE is working 'round the clock to locate the escaped Death Eaters, you know that. She and Kingsley are probably trying to do as much as they can on that front while preparing for the surveillance mission they'll undertake with the Order."

Sirius nodded, looking up at his friend. "I worry about her, Remus. I love her so much and we've had a rather rough go of it since she came back; most of it my fault, I know. It's just that we've gotten through so much and we're doing better now. I just don't want anything to happen to her. I don't want anything to take her away."

Remus' heart clenched at the vulnerability he saw in the wizard before him. "Vulnerable", on Sirius, was something that was still new – and it took Remus some time to adjust to it.

"Padfoot, it's normal to worry about those we love. I worried every day after you and Buckbeak left Hogwarts and were on the run for so long. You worry about Harry, as do I and as does Kate." Remus paused. "Although we drive each other to distraction with it, 'worry' and 'love' seem to go hand in hand for us all these days." There. Hopefully, that was sufficiently reassuring while appropriately vague.

Sirius drank his tea in silence for awhile, considering what his friend had said. "I do make that woman crazy sometimes," he admitted, smiling wryly. "So far, she appears to be putting up with it with minimal fuss. I suspect that will not continue very long."

Remus smiled. "It's only just gone half nine," he said, looking at his watch. "Why don't you take the edge of your nerves? Go check on Kate, then come back and I'll demolish you in a game of Wizard's Chess, yes?"

"'Demolish' seems extreme, Mooney, even for you," came the response as Sirius had already reached the doorway to the stairs. He turned. "However, just to prove that you can be wrong now and again, I'll humor you. Bring the teapot up with you and, perhaps, that box of tissues. You'll need a few when I'm finished with you."

XXXXXXXX

Sirius let himself silently into Kate's room. He smiled once again at the lit candle, a smile that broadened when he saw Kate's form burrowed into what had evolved into his side of her bed. Quietly, he walked over to the large bed to have a closer look.

His eyes were tender as he saw her face resting against the white linen of his pillowslip. Sirius reached down and brushed a stray auburn curl from her cheek, sweeping it gently back over her ear. She shifted slightly, but slept on. Sirius leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her temple, then straightened. To his dismay, Kate's eyes fluttered open and blinked several times as she struggled to awaken.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I only wanted to look in on you, not wake you. Go back to sleep, love."

Kate reached one hand from beneath the covers and touched his arm. "Come down here for a minute, will you?" she asked, her voice sleepy.

Sirius complied, kneeling next to the bed, his face close to hers. "What is it?"

Kate shrugged. Truly, she didn't know what she wanted, just that she didn't want him to leave right away and so she simply told him that. Sirius smiled and leaned even closer. "Would you like me to stay here until you fall back to sleep?" he offered, kissing her lips gently.

Kate shook her head sadly. "I can't ask you to do that," she said.

Sirius looked at her intently. "Why ever not, love?"

Kate took a deep breath. "I can't yell at you for hovering over me in one breath, then ask you to do it with the next." She gave him a small, sleepy smile. "Wouldn't be very fair, would it?"

Sirius brought his hand up and smoothed her cheek with the backs of his fingers. "Oh, I don't think it would be terribly unfair." He leaned in and kissed her lips gently. "I love you, you know."

Kate felt her eyes fill. "Oh, Sirius, I love you, too. I love you so much and I'm really sorry that I was so miserable to you before."

Sirius' brow furrowed as he looked at her. "What's this all about, then? It's nothing to get all that upset over. We've certainly had more heated exchanges than that, haven't we? Really, sweetheart, it's ok. I hate to see you upset."

Kate drew her hand beneath her nose and nodded. Sirius pulled a face and pulled a tissue from the box on the table, saying "Well, that was certainly disgusting!" He positioned the tissue over her nose then said, "Blow," with a smile on his face. Kate obliged, crossing her eyes at him when she'd finished and he'd daubed around her nose. "Now, I'm going to leave these within easy reach. Given that you are occupying my side of the bed – my pillow included – I would ask that you remember their location should you have need of mopping up your nose in the future, agreed?"

Kate nodded, rolling her eyes at him.

"Say, why are you on my side of the bed?" Sirius asked suddenly.

Kate shrugged again. "I felt closer to you over here. Your pillow smells like you."

"Not anymore it doesn't," Sirius chuckled. "But somehow I don't mind very much. Can you sleep now?"

Kate nodded. "I love you, Sirius."

Sirius leaned over and placed a lingering, tender kiss on her lips. "And I love you, my darling. Sleep now. I'll come back in awhile and snuggle in with you, alright? Kate?"

But she was already asleep. Sirius adjusted the covers over her shoulders, rose from the floor and left the room, as silently as he had entered it.

XXXXXXXX

Remus looked up as Sirius came back into the library. "Is Kate alright?" he asked. "You've been gone quite awhile."

Sirius sat opposite Remus at the chess table. "She woke up – sort of," he smiled. "I don't know, Mooney, maybe you're right. Maybe she is just tired. I know I'm not doing either of us any good by continually checking in with her, though. I guess I've just got to trust her on this one."

Remus barely suppressed a grimace at Sirius' last comment and chose, instead, to sidestep the topic. "Shall we begin?" he asked, gesturing to the chessboard.

Sirius grinned wickedly. "By all means, Mooney. Let the slaughter begin!"

XXXXXXXX

Kate awakened later than usual the following morning, feeling the now familiar pressure in her stomach. She ate one of the digestive biscuits from the packet next to her bed and, when that seemed to settle things a bit, she downed two more. Lying in bed for another five minutes – just in case – Kate was relieved to discover that her stomach did, indeed, feel better. She rose and made her way to the bathroom just as the bedroom door opened and Sirius walked in.

She smiled at him. "Aren't you a bit too old to be pulling all-nighters with your school friends?" she asked him.

He put out his tongue at her. "Shut it, you. If you're not nice to me I won't share my lovely breakfast with you."

Kate's stomach gave a delicate lurch that let her know it wasn't quite ready to consume anything more substantial than those three biscuits. Casting about for a reasonable excuse, she thought for a moment then replied, "Oh, darling, I'd love to, but I can't. We have a breakfast meeting this morning. Kingsley's wife is making that gorgeous coffee cake of hers and I can't pass that up, can I? Can't do both. Have to watch my figure, you know." Merlin, why on earth did I have to say that?!

Sirius leaned back on the pillows and leered at her. "I think you should stop worrying and let me watch that gorgeous figure of yours," he said.

Kate groaned inwardly and thought, How about you don't? She managed to pull off a scandalized look and headed into the bathroom to shower. "I've got to get ready or I'll be late," she called over her shoulder. As she stepped under the spray, Kate thought that they'd better get this mission over with soon or the pressure to keep her pregnancy from Sirius would probably be the death of her.

XXXXXXXX

Kate walked into Kingsley's office a couple of hours later, with the pureblood genealogy book from the Black library in one hand and a packet of crackers in the other. She dropped the book on his desk with a loud 'clunk' then deposited herself into a spare chair.

Kingsley looked down at the book then back at Kate, gesturing to the crackers. "You still feeling under the weather?" he asked, looking back at the heavy book in front of him with a suspicious expression.

Kate nodded. "A bit. I thought I might nip over to see a healer later on today – just to see if there's something else I can take to feel better."

Kingsley smiled in relief. "Good. I was afraid I'd have to order you to do that and I figured we'd have quite the row over it. Now – tell me about this book. Does Black know you stole it?"

"I didn't steal it, you git, I asked him if I could borrow it and he agreed. He even checked it for spells and it's clean. You can stop looking like a terrified first year now," Kate teased.

Kingsley glared at her. "Very funny. Now, tell me why I'm looking at this book at all!"

"I thought it might be helpful to check into our Mr. Spear's family background. That's one of the Black family's 'special' genealogies. It's been spelled to automatically update as families lose and gain members through marriages, births, deaths, etc. What's really interesting, though, is that it updates individual's current locations, their achievements, rumors, gossip…are you following me here?" Kate asked, her voice low.

Kingsley's eyes widened. "Political affiliations, too?"

Kate smiled and nodded.

"And Black let you take this out of the house?"

"Are you kidding? When I left him, he was positively gleeful to think that one of his mother's prized possessions might possibly be used to expose Dark Wizards and recapture Death Eaters. He laughed so hard I was afraid he'd crack a rib!" Kate chuckled at the memory.

Kingsley waved his wand and the cubicle entryway closed; another wave and a strong silencing spell surrounded the area. "Let's have a look, shall we?"

Kate stood over Kingsley's shoulder as he thumbed to the "S" section of the reference book. The Spear family segment encompassed a dozen pages and reflected the usual pureblood lineage, with notable accomplishments for each member. Malodros' image peered out at them, his expression haughty. His House affiliation was listed only as "Error. Under research." His current "occupation" was noted as "Confidential".

"Cryptic," Kate observed as she looked over the young Auror's entry. "'Confidential' to whom?"

Kingsley shook his head. "Could mean anything, really. The book could be spelled to disguise anything not relative to the Dark Arts. He hasn't severed ties with his family, don't forget. He's either still in their good graces or is playing both sides against the middle, ultimately choosing his alliance based on which can do him the most good."

"Kingsley, go back a page," Kate said suddenly. As Kingsley flipped back to the prior page, Kate pointed at a rather burley, middle-aged man wearing gray robes and a sinister expression. The name beneath his photo was listed as, "Nathaniel B. Spear". Expectedly, he had attended Hogwarts and was sorted into Slytherin. He had graduated during Kate and the Marauder's 4th year, although his photo prompted no memory for her. Kingsley and Kate continued to read through the brief history and both inhaled sharply when they arrived at the final entry, dated one month ago. It read:

Current Employment: Guard, Azkaban Prison

Kate and Kingsley looked at each other, their faces registering their mutual surprise and concern.

"Where is he?" Kate asked.

"Morning off," Kingsley replied. "I'll speak with him this afternoon when he comes in."

Kate drew breath to speak but she never got the chance. "No," Kingsley said, firmly.

Kate raised her eyebrows, thinking back to a similar conversation she'd had with Sirius a couple of days earlier. "How do you know what I was going to say?" she asked.

Kingsley didn't even look up at her. "You were going to tell me you wanted to be there when I questioned him. The answer is no. I don't think it's a good idea for you to be there. He already has a chip on his shoulder where you're concerned. Let's not give him any reason to enlarge it to a boulder." He looked up at her. "That's my final word, Kate."

Kate felt herself stiffen in anger. Well, at least I have all new understanding of what Sirius feels like when someone tells him 'no'. "Will you at least tell me how it goes?"

Kingsley smiled. "Sure. Let's get together at the end of the day. You can pump me for all the information you want!"

"Git", and with that, Kate waved her wand, muttering, "Finite" and heading over to her own cubicle to retrieve her bag and head over to St Mungo's for her appointment.

XXXXXXXX

Sitting on the table in the small examination room, Kate hugged the thin hospital-issued gown more tightly around her and waited for the Healer to arrive. Fortunately, she did not have to wait long. After a few moments, a short, round witch with curly white hair and bright green eyes bustled into the room and greeted Kate with a warm smile. She picked up the parchment on the side counter and reviewed it for a few moments before coming over to Kate and introducing herself.

"Hello, my dear. I'm Healer Selkirk," she shook Kate's hand. "The initial examination by my assistant shows you to be in excellent health, Ms. Morgan. I understand that you were reluctant to share any further detail with him, however. Will you speak with me, then?"

Kate nodded, liking the woman for her direct, yet warm approach. "I will. It's important that you understand something first, however. There are certain circumstances in my life that require absolute confidentiality about the reason that I'm here. If the information was to somehow become known, things could become … well, complicated, I suppose, but that's really not a strong enough word for it."

Healer Selkirk squeezed Kate's hand for a moment. "How far along do you believe you are, dear?"

Kate exhaled loudly and smiled. "No more than a month, I think. Can you even confirm a pregnancy that early?"

"Oh, my yes. Magical healing is quite far advanced, you know. Not like Muggles, poor things." She dropped her voice to a whisper, "Did you know that they sometimes test for pregnancy by having women …well, urinate on little pieces of paper?" Kate tried to stifle a laugh at the oversimplification of Muggle pregnancy tests. "Positively scandalous!" the Healer continued. "Why don't you lie down, dear and we'll run some of our own tests."

Kate complied and soon, Healer Selkirk was muttering away while waving her wand in intricate, graceful movements over Kate's stomach. She gave up watching after a few moments as the motion and color were combining to make her feel slightly woozy.

"Well, my dear, you are definitely pregnant," the Healer's kind voice confirmed what Remus had told her. She opened her eyes and looked at the other woman. "You're certain," she whispered.

Healer Selkirk took Kate's hand in hers again. "Yes, my dear. And you were right – you are exactly one month along. Would you like to know what you're having?"

Kate shook her head. "Not now. Later, perhaps. May I come back with my…with the father in a few months and find out then?"

The healer nodded, smiling. "Of course, dear. Would you like to see me from now on?"

Kate smiled. "Oh, yes, please. Can we arrange that?"

Healer Selkirk nodded again. "Yes. Now, let's see what I can do to help you with that nausea and, of course, you'll need a vitamin potion. You're young, you're healthy, so I don't see why this pregnancy shouldn't proceed exactly as it should. Congratulations, my dear. And you have nothing to worry about as far as keeping your condition private; Healers are sworn to confidentiality, much like Muggle doctors. We can reveal nothing."

Kate smiled in relief. "Thank you, Healer Selkirk."

"Oh, dear, let's not be so formal. We're going to see quite a bit of each other over the next several months. Please, call me Molly." And the little Healer hurried out of the room, telling Kate to come to her office once she was dressed.

As the door closed, Kate couldn't hold back a chuckle. "Molly," she said aloud. "Perfect!"


	42. Loyalties Confirmed

Disclaimer:This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

When Kate arrived back in the department, Kingsley's cubicle was conspicuously empty. As Kate made her way to her own desk, Tonks intercepted her in the hallway. Uncharacteristically somber, Tonks gestured to Kate's cubicle, placed a finger to her lips to indicate silence and followed Kate inside. Once there, Tonks cast the same closing and silencing spells Kingsley had used earlier in the day. Kate watched with a sense of unease.

"What is it, Tonks?" she asked after the Auror had holstered her wand.

"Are you really alright?" Tonks wanted to know.

Kate nodded. "Of course I am, Tonks. Please. I really was just overtired last night..."

"Last night doesn't have anything to do with it," Tonks interrupted. "Spear came into the office about an hour ago and immediately started squawking about how he'd seen you go into St Mungo's earlier today and how you went right in to see a Healer. He demanded to see Kingsley and they're in an interrogation room now."

Kate hoped her face did not betray the panic she felt coursing through her. Striving to keep her voice even, she asked, "He followed me?"

Tonks nodded. "Evidently. He had gone to question a witch who swore that she saw the LeStranges sitting in a coffee shop in Bristol. Obviously she was in the Spell Damage Ward for a reason! Anyway, he said that he saw you while he was waiting for a healer to take him up to Spell Damage." Tonks paused. "Why were you at St Mungo's today, Kate?"

Stick as close/ to the truth as you can, Kate reminded herself. "I've been having some problems with my stomach; I've had a sensitive stomach since I was in Auror training. I wanted to see if I could get a different potion I could take so it wouldn't bother me as much."

Tonks immediately looked concerned. "Did they give you something?"

Kate smiled at the young Auror. "Yes, they did and I'm feeling much better already," Kate reassured her. "So, what did Spear have to say for himself?"

Tonks shrugged. "Kingsley took him into interrogation before I could hear much more but I think Spear was trying to convince Kings that if you weren't on top of your game, he should be considered to replace you."

Kate snorted and rolled her eyes. "Highly unlikely. I can't imagine Kingsley putting this kid on point even if they admitted me!" Kate paused. "I just wish I could be a fly on the wall of that interrogation room," she said.

Tonks smiled at her. "You don't have to be," she said, waving her wand and canceling the spells. "There's Kingsley now." As the young Auror stepped toward the doorway, Kate laid a gentle hand on her arm to detain her.

"Tonks, I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention my trip to St Mungo's to anyone - especially Sirius," Kate said, quietly. "He would only worry and, quite frankly, he's gotten so much better lately that I don't want anything to set him back. You understand, right?"

Tonks smiled at Kate and patted her hand. "Of course I do," she said. "Kate, this isn't any of my business. Whether or not you choose to tell Sirius - or anyone else for that matter - is completely up to you. You can trust me."

Kate gave her arm a squeeze in thanks and then followed Tonks out of her cubicle.

"Kingsley," Kate greeted as she drew level with him. "I think 'the end of the day' just came sooner than we planned when we spoke earlier," she said.

Kingsley nodded. "Let's head out of the building. Use the back exit from the department to avoid attracting attention. Ten minutes?"

Kate was a bit taken aback by the seriousness of his tone and the almost covert nature of his instructions. She agreed immediately and retreated back into her cubicle to cast security spells over her parchments and files and to pick up her purse and briefcase.

Ten minutes later, Kate and Kingsley were walking down the side street at the rear of the Ministry building.

"Where to?" Kate asked.

"I know a small pub on the other side of Muggle London. It's likely we'll be the only ones there," Kingsley said, giving her a small smile. "Up for a side-along Apparition? We'll have to use the blind alley behind the building so nobody sees us."

Kate groaned inwardly. Side-along Apparition wasn't her best friend right now. Actually, any Apparition was enough to make her stomach revolt. "Don't suppose there's any other option? My stomach is still a bit tender."

Kingsley smiled in apology. "Suggestions?"

"How about a bus?" Kate offered. Kingsley was one of the few wizards she knew who didn't turn his nose up at Muggle transportation. He might not be quite the enthusiast that Arthur Weasley was, but Kingsley was always open to the Muggle world.

"Sun's out and it's not completely freezing," he said. "Let's take a bus!"

Kingsley's imposing height, colorful robes and booming voice guaranteed that he and Kate were the only passengers on the top level of the double-decker bus. Normally, Kate would have put their extreme solitude down to the time of year, but she was certain that the circumstances would have been the same had it been mid-July. As the bus rumbled along, Kate amused herself by observing Kingsley's obvious happiness with their journey. Head swiveling this way and that, he clearly enjoyed observing the hustle and bustle of Muggle London. Soon, however, they reached their stop and Kate and Kingsley made their way through the crowd - Kingsley completely oblivious to their curious looks - and onto the pavement. Kingsley led the way for approximately a half block, turning onto a well-kept side street where traffic - both vehicular and pedestrian - was minimal. A few yards from the turn, he stopped in front of a small pub. "Here we are," he announced, opening the door for Kate to pass inside. She welcomed the warmth of the dimly lit room, which, as Kingsley predicted, was devoid of patrons at the moment.

"Busy place," she commented wryly.

Kingsley chuckled quietly. "You should be here 'round 8 in the evening. Much livelier atmosphere, then."

"Personal experience?"

"Maybe," Kingsley said. "Let's sit in the booth in the back, shall we?"

Once they'd settled into the booth, Kingsley offered to fetch drinks from the bar and Kate started to order tea then remembered - caffeine. Thinking fast, and grateful that they were in a Muggle establishment, Kate responded. "I can't pass up the chance. Could you ask them if they have any herbal peppermint tea?"

Kingsley looked at her curiously for a moment, then agreed and walked over to the bar. Kate slipped out of her coat, pulling a packet of the Digestive biscuits from her pocket and popping one into her mouth. Healer Selkirk had told her that she should get into the habit of eating a few mid-morning and mid-afternoon, whether or not she was hungry as it would help avoid the periods of nausea that came from an empty stomach. Anxious to eliminate nausea from her daily routine, Kate slipped easily into the habit. Looking up, Kate saw that Kingsley was coming back to the table carrying a small tray with a bottle of butter beer and a teapot, cup and saucer. Once the tray had been unloaded and placed on the table beside them, Kate poured her tea and looked directly at Kingsley. "Let's have it, then," she said. "And don't spare any details. Tonks has already tipped me off about Spear's mad dash through the department today."

Kingsley returned Kate's frank look. "Kate, you know that I respect and like you - as a friend as well as a colleague."

Kate felt a clenching sensation in her stomach that had nothing to do with her condition as she took in what he was saying. "Kingsley, are you sacking me?"

His eyes widened in surprise. "Sacking you? NO! Why would you ask me that?"

Kate smiled. "Your comment sounded like the typical opening line of a boss to his subordinate when his position was about to be terminated."

Kingsley relaxed a bit. "I don't think of you as my subordinate - most of the time, that is. But, I need to say something to you. If there is anything I should know about you; anything that could impact your job with the Ministry or your work on this Mission, now is the time for you to tell me. If I know about it now, I can be prepared and plan around it if need be."

Kate's mind raced as she listened. Desperately, she sought something to buy her time enough to come up with options. "Kingsley, we've known each other for quite some time and have been working very closely since I came back to England. What has happened to prompt this now?"

"Spear came to me, highly agitated, talking about how he'd seen you at St Mungo's earlier today," Kingsley responded.

"Yes," Kate said. "And you knew that I was going to see a Healer about my stomach; I told you earlier this morning, as you'll recall. The fact that Spear saw me there shouldn't prompt this level of concern from you, particularly when you said you were prepared to order me to go. You should have been well equipped to diffuse Spear's agitation."

Kingsley nodded. "My level of concern was prompted by other factors. Spear mentioned that you were in an examination room for well over an hour and that the Healer came out of the room and ordered a series of potions to be taken over a period of several months. One of them was an herbal supplement similar to Muggle vitamins prescribed for pregnant women. Of course, he didn't recognize it as such, but I did. Remember, I have two children of my own. Spear also overheard her schedule subsequent, monthly visits."

Kate closed her eyes. "I'm sure he had his own ideas about what that all meant."

Kingsley nodded, although Kate wasn't watching. "He did. He feels that you contracted some type of disease while working in the States and that said condition may well impact your ability to perform your duties as an Auror and so you've chosen to hide it from me, the Minister, etc. He feels that whatever 'secret project' you're working on should be transferred to a more able Auror."

Kate laughed out loud at Kingsley's response, unsurprised to note that the sound had just the slightest tinge of hysteria to it. "Brilliant! And your response?"

Kingsley reached over and put his hand over hers where it rested on the table. "I told him that it was fortuitous that he did not choose Healing as his profession. That you had confided in me that you had an ongoing digestive ailment known as an ulcer and that St. Mungo's was treating you according to much the same regimen as you observed while working for the American Auror Bureau. The herbal supplement and other potions were intended to neutralize the symptoms and supply you with the vitamins you wouldn't be getting from foods you could no longer eat. I assured him that in no way would this condition compromise your ability to perform any aspect of your job."

Kate smiled. "He believed you?"

Kingsley returned the smile and nodded. "By the time I was done with him, the Healer, herself, would have believed me!" He paused, his expression sobering once again. "I, however, am dubious and wanted to give you the opportunity to eliminate my doubts as I tried to do with Mr. Spear - but with the truth, if you trust me in the telling of it."

Kate looked across the table at Kingsley. "Kingsley, I must be assured of your complete discretion in this; absolutely no one can know - at least not yet. And I must continue this mission. You must promise me all of these things or I will merely confirm what you told Spear - and you know the laws, Kingsley; you cannot question me further and the Healers will not release any information to you."

Kingsley squeezed her hand, still resting beneath his. "I have real misgivings," he sighed. "But I will promise to go along with what you're asking of me. How far along are you?"

Kate sighed. "Just one month. And, no, Sirius does not know. He won't know - for now. Remus knows - only because of his lycanthropy. Apparently, one of the side effects is a rather keen sense of smell. He's able to detect physical changes, hormone swings, the whole bit. That's how he found out."

"Sirius will not be happy with this deception," Kingsley observed.

"I know," Kate said. "But there's so much more at stake than his opinion of me in this. Kingsley, suppose we're able to clear him as a result of this mission? Even if Pettigrew doesn't show up in any of the surveillance missions we conduct, he may be mentioned. There will always be two people on these surveillance assignments, which means that there will always be a witness to anything that we hear. If Pettigrew is mentioned, his location might also be given. We could capture him, Kingsley - and Sirius could be free. Finally. I'm sure that he would forgive my subterfuge if we were able to accomplish that." Kate looked at her partner imploringly.

"I said I'd go along with it and I will. At least Remus knows. He's partnering with you, so I'll worry less. A little less." Kingsley smiled at her and withdrew his hand to pick up his butter beer bottle. Kate cast a surreptitious warming charm on her tea, earning a teasing 'tsk, tsk' from Kingsley. Sipping the now heated peppermint tea, Kate smiled at him.

"Thank you, Kingsley. I appreciate it," she said.

"Don't thank me, Kate. I don't necessarily agree with your decision. But, at the moment, we have bigger problems."

Kate put down her cup. "Spear and his family."

Kingsley spared a discreet glance around the room before he spoke. "Mr. Spear is no longer employed by the Ministry," he told her. "Effective at the conclusion of my meeting with him. He is also wearing a tracking charm that both restricts and reports his movements - directly to me."

"Kingsley," Kate said. "Talk to me."

For the next half hour, Kingsley relayed his conversation with the young Auror, beginning with his total terror when Kingsley showed him Sirius' family book and the entry concerning his uncle's current employer. It seemed that Spear's father was from the less monied, less influential branch of the family tree. Slytherin, yes; pureblood, certainly - but without the financial wherewithal to back it up, until an aged wizard uncle of his mother had died and left her his fortune - and what a fortune it was. Condescended to by the bulk of the pureblood families as "nouveau riche", Mrs Spear wasn't able to crack the haughtiest of the pureblood families. There were some families who let them into their social circles, but they were not part of the inner circle. Malodros' unfortunate sorting didn't help matters and, when he decided to enter the Auror Academy, that effectively ended any hope of her acceptance into the upper echelon of Wizarding aristocracy. Mrs Spear's disappointment took the form of cynical bitterness. Her husband, on the other hand, was relieved that there were no longer money problems, having grown up with them all his life. Whether or not they were accepted into mainstream, pureblood society was not chief amongst his concerns. That his son was Gryffindor was ... odd, but not alarming, by any means. Malodros' choice of careers was his own business. He had his rare book collection, at last, and he could finally afford to indulge expanding it. It was more than his brother had been able to do. Waiting until he was in his thirties to enter into marriage - to a half-blood witch of no major distinction - Nathaniel had no true ambition in life other than to do as little as possible while earning enough to support a passable lifestyle. Just before the holidays, his wife had decided that she'd spent 10 years too many waiting to improve beyond "passable" and had left him for a Romanian "count" of dubious lineage. They had set up housekeeping in Wizarding London and their exploits were reported faithfully in the Daily Prophet, much to the shame of Malodros, his mother and, to a lesser degree, his father. To escape the daily embarrassment of his former wife's escapades, Nathaniel sold his modest home and took up a position as a guard at Azkaban Prison, welcoming its remote location and the resulting lack of social interaction. His nephew, however, felt that his uncle's new position could be utilized to further his own.

"He was involved in the breakout?" Kate breathed.

"In a manner of speaking," Kingsley replied. "Spear claimed that he wanted to restore some credibility to his family's name. He devised a plan in which his uncle would facilitate the escape of a single Death Eater, the date and time of which would be communicated to Spear in advance. This would allow Spear time to get out to Azkaban - in his capacity as an Auror - and be there to subdue to escapee and return him to his cell. Spear would be a hero and his mother would share in the glory."

"I'm not buying it," Kate said. "It's too pat. He's too arrogant to admit to wrongdoing. Even if he was afraid of what you knew when you began your interrogation of him, why would he immediately confess to a plot that was certain to cost him his position? The end result would have been exactly the same. Why not lie about his relationship with his uncle? Tell us that they weren't close?" Kate thought for a moment. "Unless...Kingsley...unless he's covering for someone."

Kingsley nodded. "I have another theory. It's possible that his uncle was vulnerable enough to have been targeted by a Death Eater outside Azkaban - and convinced that he could improve his lot in life - perhaps even win back his wife - if he provided a little assistance to the right people. After all, his sister-in-law's social scheming was well known in pureblood circles and his ex-wife's infidelity and adventures have been widely reported in the Prophet. It wouldn't have been difficult for some of those same purebloods - particularly those who support Voldemort - to use that information to make Nathaniel cooperate. They would have had one problem, though..."

"Contact," Kate said. "To keep up their innocent appearances in our world, pureblood families have had to publicly denounce their incarcerated relatives, making it impossible to take a Sunday afternoon ferry ride to Azkaban for a family visit. They could hardly contact Nathaniel directly, so...a trip to the Ministry in hopes of running into a certain Auror just might do the trick."

Kingsley leaned forward in his chair. "Especially if you've bought your way into the good graces of the Minister of Magic and spend a considerable amount of time at the Ministry anyway..."

"...and are extremely skilled in Dark Magic and not squeamish about using Unforgivables," Kate supplied. Kingsley took a deep breath and, together, they whispered, "Malfoy."

"Kingsley, Merlin, so much makes sense now. If we're right, Malfoy could have been using Imperiousto manipulate Malodros into trying to worm his way onto our mission...or, more likely, was able to convince Spear that greater glory awaited him for assisting the Dark Lord; I wonder if Malfoy had to even unsheathe his wand! I'm sure Malodros, with his ego, felt that he could keep Malfoy informed of everything that was going on with his own team's attempts to locate and capture those ten Death Eaters. He probably wasn't above using a little Dark Magic to manipulate that team, as well. When he saw that neither you nor I were working on that main team, Spear had to have come to the conclusion that we were working on something even more critical to that part of the investigation," Kate reasoned. She paused then continued excitedly. "Kingsley, this morning, Tonks told me that Spear was at St. Mungo's to question a woman who reported seeing one of the LeStranges in a coffee shop in Bristol. While he was waiting for a Healer to take him to the Spell Damage Ward to see her, he supposedly saw me and tore back into the Ministry to report it to you. Kingsley, did you ever hear about a witch at St. Mungo's who saw the LeStranges in Bristol?"

Kingsley shook his head slowly. "No, I did not. Kate...this could be another situation like..."

She rose. "Bode. I know. Let's get back to Diagon Alley. We'll owl Tonks to start going through the files to see if we ever had a report from a witch in Bristol, then you and I should head over to St Mungo's to see what we can find out."

Kingsley threw some Muggle bills on the table then the two of them pulled on their cloaks and headed for the door. Once safely hidden in the alleyway, Kate suffered through a Side-Along Apparition in the interest of speed and, to her surprise, the nausea and lightheadedness were over fairly quickly once they'd arrived at their destination.

As they made their way to the Post Office to send a message to Tonks, a tawny owl swooped in front of Kate, coming to a landing on Kingsley's broad shoulder. Kate removed the message tied to its leg and saw that it was addressed to her. The owl waited expectantly, so Kate pulled out a biscuit from her pocket and gave it to the bird who took it with a disdainful look and flew away.

"Ruddy bird," Kingsley grumbled. "What does it say?"

Kate looked up from the note she'd torn open. "I've never been this unhappy to be right," she said, handing the parchment to him.

Kingsley read the few lines that Tonks had hastily scribbled on the page:

"Kate, bring Kingsley back to the office with you. Mungo's called. Suspicious death reported in Spell Damage Ward. Think we've got a connection to S? Good. So do I. Oh - tell Kings that the Tracking Monitor in his office is whistling up a storm..."


	43. Surveillance By the Sea - Part 1

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

St. Mungo's identified the deceased witch as Prudence Castleberry from a small, quiet neighborhood in Bristol. She had been taken to St. Mungo's after being found huddled in the doorway of a High street shop, crying piteously and claiming to have seen the LeStranges lurking in a nearby coffee shop. While she couldn't remember the name of the "kind stranger" who had found her and brought her to hospital, Prudence felt that he was a "kind lad" as he had even paid for a private room in the Spell Damage Ward. As soon as the Healers found a way to permanently remove the azalea plant that was growing from her navel, Prudence vowed that she was going to look up that young man and repay him for his kindness. Regrettably, that was never to happen. Earlier that afternoon, when the Healer had gone into her room to take more cuttings for testing, she found Prudence lying flat on the bed, her eyes wide open and seemingly fixed on the azalea blooms resting on her chest. The cause of death was proven to be the Avada Kedavracurse.

Kate and Kingsley watched the medi-witch guide the sheet-covered stretcher down the hallway and into the hospital's "Room of Remains", where it would be preserved until its release to the Castleberry family for interment.

"A bit more straightforward than Bode, wouldn't you say?" Kate commented. "Using an Unforgivable rather than a deadly plant moves things up a notch or two."

"The azaleas were a nice touch," Kingsley said, wryly. "I'm thinking that this is Spear's way of thumbing his nose at us by mocking the specifics of Bode's death."

Kate shook her head and began the walk toward the basement elevators. "Shall we go back to the office and see if they've made any progress locating Spear?"

Kingsley looked at his watch and shook his head. "It's after 6. You've more than put in your time. Why don't you call it a day and I'll stop by on my way home to give you an update?"

Kate smiled gratefully. "Thanks. I think I'll take you up on that. Don't forget to stop by Headquarters, though. I know that both Remus and Sirius will want to brainstorm ideas."

Kingsley nodded. "I'm counting on that."

They parted at the front entrance of the hospital and soon, Kate was walking in the front door of Grimmauld Place. She paused at the staircase heading to the kitchen, but heard no sound coming from below. Kate walked up the first flight of stairs, poking her head into the library, but finding no one there, either. Shrugging, Kate went along to her own room, where she finally found another life form.

Sirius lay sprawled out on top of her bedcovers, face resting comfortably on her pillow and arms and legs spread-eagled over the comforter. From the sound of his soft snores, Kate knew that he was out like a light and therefore she proceeded quietly to the shower.

Emerging refreshed some fifteen minutes later, Kate was amused to see that Sirius had not moved and that his snoring had gotten slightly louder since she had first entered the room. She briefly wondered what had exhausted him to the point that he required a pre-dinner nap. Dressing quickly and brushing her hair, Kate was heading for the door when a sleepy voice stopped her.

"Hey, Katie-girl. Is that you?" Sirius' voice was somewhat muffled as half his mouth was still pressed into the pillow.

Smiling, Kate retraced her steps and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Now, who else do you think it would be?" she asked him, smoothing his tousled hair back from his face.

Sirius snorted and turned his face far enough to see her. "Dunno. Could have been Molly. You'll remember that mistletoe incident at Christmas."

Kate laughed out loud. "My competition, eh? Maybe I'll have to work from home just to keep my eye on the two of you!"

Sirius flipped onto his back and pulled her on top of him. "I love the 'work from home' idea, but I want you to remember that you have no competition, my love."

Kate lowered her face and kissed him tenderly. "I missed you today," she whispered.

Sirius returned the kiss. "I'm glad to hear it because I missed you, too. You're home later than usual," he said, glancing at his watch. "Bad day?"

Kate nodded. "Bad day. Kingsley's coming by in a bit to give me an update. We want you and Remus there to weigh in."

"Sure." Sirius stroked her cheek. "You ok? Stomach behaving itself and all?"

"I'm ok," Kate leaned down and kissed him again then rubbed- their noses together. "Hungry, though. Did you eat dinner?"

Sirius shook his head. "Waited for you," he said. "Come on. Let's see what we can rustle up downstairs."

Kate slid reluctantly onto the mattress. Sirius rose and extended his hand to help her up. Kate took his hand, but wound her arms around her neck once she was upright. "I love you," she said, kissing his lips, then his cheek before kissing her way along his jaw line to his earlobe. "I love you," she whispered into his ear then circled the rim with the tip of her tongue, loving the shiver that ran through Sirius' body.

"Katie," he murmured. "I love you. So much." He tilted his head to give Kate greater access to his neck. "I thought you were hungry," he whispered, smiling then caught his breath as she found that delicious spot, just below his ear, that always made his heart race.

Kate gave his earlobe one last nibble then brought her face close to his. "See? I'm eating," she whispered, kissing him deeply. Sirius groaned and brought his hands up to tangle in her hair, holding her exactly where she was as he returned her kiss with an equal passion.

"Kingsley," Sirius said when they broke for breath.

Kate opened her eyes and looked at him in mock horror. "Katie," she said, pointing to herself.

Sirius gave her behind a light pinch. "No, Kate. Kingsley. He's coming here tonight, isn't that what you said?"

Kate nodded. "Yes but I doubt he'd walk in here unannounced."

Sirius smiled and kissed her cheek. "I agree. But if we don't postpone this until later, we will be in no fit condition to see him at all."

A loud growl from Kate's stomach put an end to further debate and with one final kiss the couple left the room, hand-in-hand, to fix themselves some dinner.

XXXXXXXX

Remus came into the kitchen as they were heating up leftovers and happily joined Sirius and Kate for their meal. As they ate, Kate filled them in on the day's events, neatly side-stepping her visit to St. Mungo's, confident that Kingsley would do the same when he arrived. Both Sirius and Remus sat with fully loaded forks in hand and mouths agape as she told them about Malodros Spear's duplicity and probable responsibility for the murder of Prudence Castleberry.

When Kate paused to magically warm her own plate and finally eat dinner, the two wizards realized that they, too, had neglected their meals and quickly finished. Kingsley's timing could not have been more perfect as he arrived just as Remus was bringing the dishes to the sink.

"Good evening, folks," Kingsley said as he entered the kitchen.

"Kingsley," Sirius greeted him, shaking his hand warmly. "Have you eaten?"

"No, actually," he said, smiling.

"Sit, then," Kate said. "We'll fix you a plate and then we can talk. I've already brought Remus and Sirius up to speed with everything that happened earlier."

As Kingsley finished his meal, Remus brewed tea while Kate excused herself to retrieve her briefcase. Returning to the kitchen, she also had a box of peppermint tea bags. At Sirius' raised eyebrows, Kate gave him a rueful smile. "Holdover from my days in the States. I developed a taste for this stuff and I've missed it." Sirius rose, kissed her cheek and, teabag in hand, prepared a mug for her.

Once Sirius returned to the table and was seated, Kingsley looked over at Kate and began to bring her current on what had happened since she'd left.

"We've located Spear, courtesy of the Tracking Monitor," he began. "He's currently located in a small house in Totland."

"The Isle of Wight." Kate interjected. "If I'm not mistaken, there's nothing in his history – or that of his family – to suggest that he has ties to the area."

Kingsley nodded. "So, it seems to fit in with our theory that he's working on behalf of someone else."

Remus gave him a grim smile. "It also puts him close enough to London to be useful, but far enough away to make access that much more complicated. I'm guessing you've checked out the area."

"Yes. Using the coordinates provided by the Tracking Monitor, Tonks and I Apparated to Totland this evening. He's staying in a small stone house in a fairly out of the way area of the Bay." Kingsley looked at the group around the table. "As you might expect, there are some protection spells on both the immediate property lines and, as far as I can tell, on the house itself. Some contain varying levels of dark magic, but others are fairly rudimentary concealment and protection spells any witch or wizard would know. I'm certain that the less sophisticated spell work was completed by Spear."

"Do you have anything specific on the more advanced spells?" Sirius asked. "As you know, my father's library is rather … extensive. With enough detail, we might be able to figure out the counter-spell or another way in."

Kingsley smiled at his friend. "Can't say I didn't think of that, Sirius," he said, pulling a piece of parchment from his pocket. "I've got some detail on the spell work here, taken from the 'Specialis Revelio' we cast. I've also got a descriptive of what happened to Tonks when she tried to take down the first level of wards."

Remus' head snapped toward the Auror. "What happened to Tonks?" he asked concern evident in his voice and demeanor.

Kingsley smiled. "Well, it was a bit of an accidental attempt, in truth. She tripped over a tree root and crashed into an invisible barrier. Bit of "elastico" in that one; obviously one of Spear's efforts. Tonks hit the barrier and … well, 'bounced' and landed on her bum a good distance away, in a mud puddle. The girl has a lovely vocabulary!"

Kate had been quiet, but now spoke up. "Kingsley, why would we want to break down the protection wards and other spells and bring Spear in? Wouldn't it be more advantageous to begin our surveillance efforts there? We're fairly certain that Malfoy is his contact – whether or not Spear is going along with it. The Tracking charm remains intact, so we'll know if he moves. I think that we'd probably do better taking advantage of an unanticipated surveillance opportunity than to tip our hand and try to apprehend him," she reasoned.

"I hesitated to bring this up before," Sirius said. "But the existence of a working Tracking charm doesn't necessarily mean that Spear is conscious or, well, even still alive. Kingsley, you didn't spell the charm to deactivate if Spear died, did you?"

Kingsley shook his head. "I didn't. We would still want to recover his body, so I put no restrictions on the spell."

Sirius nodded. "Better for us, but possibly more dangerous. We could spend valuable time and risk detection if we worked on the protection spells. Using this as a surveillance point to see if we could link Malfoy to the site seems a better use of the unexpected lead."

"Kingsley, we should revise the schedule we worked on for tomorrow night's Order meeting. We'll need to add Totland to it and I might suggest that there be three people assigned to that detail," Kate said. "I would also suggest that we put a third person on the surveillance detail at Malfoy's estate in Wiltshire. That way, if we see that he's on the move, the third person can Apparate to Totland to warn that team and provide additional coverage."

"Excellent, Kate," Kingsley said, jotting notes on the parchment draft of the schedule Kate had handed him. "We will need to put those teams in place quickly. Remus, are you up to taking a shift with Kate tomorrow during the day?" The latter in deference to the full moon which had only recently passed.

Remus nodded. "Of course. We need to name our third team member."

Kate cast a sidelong glace at Sirius, who was decidedly staring at the table, his expression neutral, but a muscle near his jaw twitched ominously. "Kingsley, what would you say to having Bill Weasley assigned to my team? He's trained in curse breaking and is damned good at it. If the protection charms and wards contain dark magic and are intricate enough to really rebound on us, I think he's the best chance we've got to neutralize them."

Kingsley smiled. "No objection here. Remus?"

The werewolf shook his head. "None. I think Bill's an excellent choice."

Sirius remained silent, and, unseen by the others, Kate leaned over and placed her hand on his knee. "May we still use your library, if we need to? I think it would probably give us a good base of operation for the mission."

Sirius placed his hand over hers and, although his voice was tight he said, "Of course."

"Kate, we should plan to get out there as early as possible tomorrow morning," Remus was saying.

"Kingsley, I'm assuming you'll cover for me at the Ministry," Kate stated. "How will we get to Bill?"

"I'll handle that, too. He's staying in Hogsmeade at the moment. I'll Floo him from home," the Auror confirmed. "I'll have him come here tomorrow morning at 6:00?"

Remus and Kate agreed and Kingsley added. "Fine, then. I'll go so I can notify Bill before it gets too late. You two had better get some sleep. It's going to be a long day."

Remus smiled and walked out with Kingsley to take care of the wards once he had left.

Sirius squeezed Kate's hand and then rose from his seat. He brought the dirty dishes to the sink and then headed for the doorway. "I'm going to the library to see what I can find for spellbooks that might help you. You should get some rest," he said.

Kate went over to him and wrapped her arms loosely around his waist. "I'm sorry that…"

Sirius cut her off. "Don't, Kate. I know what you're going to say and there's nothing to be done about it. I can't go and it makes me feel useless and as much a prisoner here as I ever was in Azkaban. I don't want anyone's pity, especially yours. I just need to go and do what little I can do and be by myself for awhile. There's no need to have everyone infected by my poor temper."

Kate tightened her embrace and leaned up to kiss him gently. "I love you."

Sirius gave her a sad smile. "I know that, Katie-girl. I love you, too. Get some sleep now, yes?"

She nodded. "You'll be along later, though?"

Sirius nodded and kissed her again. "I promise."

They didn't speak again until they reached the library and Kate squeezed Sirius' hand as she stepped away from him.

"Kate?" Sirius called softly to her.

She turned. "Yes?"

"I know that you think I worry too much but I hope you understand that it's not because I don't think you're a capable Auror. You are and I know that. You are also a powerful witch. The reason I worry is that sometimes it doesn't matter how strong or how powerful you are. Sometimes, you come up against someone who is a split-second faster, a slight bit stronger, a bit more intuitive. That's what I worry about, Katie. So, be careful and be sure to come home to me, yeah?" Sirius smiled and turned to go into the library.

Kate watched him, knowing that she could say nothing in response, but grateful that at least he was voicing his feelings rather than holding everything in.

Sighing softly, she turned and went into her bedroom to hopefully get the rest she'd need to face the Mission now so close at hand.


	44. Surveillance By the Sea - Part 2

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Kate awoke at 4 the following morning and found herself alone, just as she had been when she'd fallen asleep. There was no evidence that Sirius had ever come to bed. After completing her morning routine, Kate dressed warmly, grabbing an extra jacket in the event it was needed. Putting some additional digestives in her pockets, Kate left her room and headed for the library. When she arrived, she paused on the threshold taking a few moments to just look at the scene before her.

Sirius was seated at his father's old desk, surrounded by thick, leather bound volumes containing some of the darkest of spells, charms and hexes – the staple of the Black family library. His head rested against the wing of the chair and he was fast asleep. Kate shivered as she entered the room. The fire had long gone out and the January chill had permeated the room. He must be freezing, she thought to herself. Kate withdrew her wand, pointed it at the fireplace grate and murmured, "Incendio". She was immediately rewarded with a blazing fire that would soon send its warmth through the room. Kate pulled the thick woolen throw from the back of the couch and approached Sirius' sleeping form. Gently, trying very hard not to wake him, Kate draped the blanket around him, tucking the edges carefully around his shoulders, leaving only his head exposed to the room. Stepping back, Kate was grateful to see that Sirius was still asleep and sparing him one, final look, she retraced her steps to the door and exited the room as quietly as she had come in.

When she arrived in the kitchen, Remus was just plating breakfast: eggs, bacon, toast, coffee, juice and fried tomatoes. Kate was touched to see that he had also put one of her peppermint tea bags in a mug, just waiting for her to arrive to pour out the hot water for it to brew. Her stomach clenched a bit at the smell of the greasy bacon and Kate popped a couple of the digestives into her mouth, chewing as she poured hot water into her mug.

"Good morning," Remus greeted her, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. "Feeling like anything more substantial than those?"

Kate smiled. "Maybe some dry toast, but I'm not pushing it."

"Well, Bill's not due for another hour or so. Perhaps you can start with that and see how things progress," Remus suggested.

The two friends sat quietly for awhile, but when Kate poured her second mug of tea, Remus spoke. "Have you seen a healer yet?"

Kate nodded. "Yesterday. Here's a bit of irony for you: her name is Molly."

Remus laughed quietly. "Only you," he said. "She confirmed your condition, then." It wasn't a question.

"Yes. I am one month along, which gives me a bit of time to see where this mission takes us. The healer gave me some potions and supplements I need to take, one of which will help with the nausea, thank Merlin!" Kate paused. "Remus, I know that I've asked something of you that is totally against your better nature, particularly where Sirius is concerned. I appreciate that you've agreed to keep my confidence; I appreciate how difficult that is, and I thank you for it."

Remus reached over and covered her hand with his own. "I know that, Kate. And you know that I love you both very much and only want what's best for you. Oddly enough, I see both sides of the equation. While Sirius will not be pleased with you for keeping this information from him, he would not react well to it unless you basically chained yourself to him for the duration of the pregnancy. I understand why you cannot do that and the resulting tension and disagreement that would promote between you would be detrimental to both of you – and, very likely, to the baby, as well. It's a very difficult situation overall, isn't it?"

Kate nodded. "Yes, but if it all goes as planned, it will be worth it. It will be very much worth it," she replied. "Kingsley knows," she added. "He more or less guessed. Spear saw me at St Mungo's yesterday when I saw the healer. He doesn't know why I was there – well, he knows Kingsley's version of why I was there, I should say. He went to Kingsley with the news that he'd seen me and what he'd overheard the healer prescribe. Kingsley recognized the prescription for what it was; Spear merely felt that I was not up to par physically to participate in the Death Eater investigation."

Remus drew a sharp breath. "This could be more dangerous for you than you originally thought."

Kate shook her head. "I don't think that's necessarily true," she said. "He suspects there's something more afoot in the investigation than we've shared with him. Of course, if it's true that he's tied in with Malfoy, he would have been nosing around more than usual. He knows nothing of this second mission; he knows nothing of our suspicions regarding Malfoy."

"But he knows that you've a weakness, even if he doesn't know that truth of what it is," Remus stated, holding her gaze. "I'm less comfortable with your safety now that I've heard this news."

Kate's eyes widened. "Are you saying that I'm a liability to this mission? That you're unwilling to partner with me, now?"

Remus squeezed her hand. "No. What I'm saying is that you, personally, face greater danger from Spear. If he's truly gone over to Voldemort, he brings with him the knowledge of how powerful a witch – and Auror – you are. Now, he also brings him the knowledge that you are not physically as strong as your magic – perhaps." Remus paused. "And I would rather partner with no one else, just to clarify that point as well."

Kate played with the tag on her teabag for a moment, and then looked at Remus. "Do you think Sirius is alright? He didn't come to bed last night. He fell asleep at the desk in the library, virtually buried in those huge books of his father's."

"I don't think he's as bad as he would have been had this mission happened six months ago. He hasn't turned back to Firewhiskey and he's not locked in the top room with Buckbeak. That's real progress. However, I think that he is still very worried and is feeling very isolated in this whole process. Remember, in the last War, he was an Auror and still he lost everything. He was the one out there fighting and he couldn't defeat the enemy. The enemy he knew wooed an enemy he never envisioned. Now, an Auror appears to have turned and the memories from before are right in front of him again. Instead of James and Lily, it's you and me, the last of his friends of that same era. Instead of Harry, it's … well, he doesn't know about that, but the parallel is there all the same." Remus sighed. "Kate, he's damned if you do and damned if you don't. If you go on the mission, he will be frantic until you return. If you beg off the mission and do what he'd like – stay here – he knows that he's imprisoned you in the same way that he's imprisoned. He knows the resentment he feels toward those who have sequestered him here; he fears making you feel that same way about him."

"And all of those reasons have a play in why I'm not telling him about the baby right now," Kate said. "You were right before; there are no easy answers."

"Good morning," Kingsley's voice greeted them from the doorway. As he moved into the kitchen, the bright, red head of Bill Weasley appeared behind him. Bill smiled and greeted both Kate and Remus. "Any chance of some coffee?" he asked.

As Bill and Kingsley drank coffee, the four strategized their surveillance plans for the day. It was determined that they would Apparate into Totland itself, using coordinates that would put them in a wooded area a short distance from the building where Kingsley's Tracking Monitor had put Spear. According to that Monitor, Spear was still at the same location. Once they arrived, Bill would assess the spell work that formed the protection wards and spells surrounding the estate. Remus and Kate would accompany him, making note of spells that Bill could not immediately identify. Once they had a complete map of all the protection put in place, they would find strategic vantage points surrounding the property where they could split up and monitor the activity.

"You are all going to need to know where the others are at all times," Kingsley said then added, looking directly at Kate, "Nobody takes any chances on this one."

Kate nodded. "And…if Remus and I have no experience with the protection magic and Bill feels there's a danger posed to any of us, we come back here and start researching what we find."

Kingsley agreed. "And no altering the spells while you're there. If we can take them down, we'll do it tomorrow, after we speak with Albus tonight at the meeting – clear?"

Remus looked at everyone. "Ready?"

"Let's go." Bill headed for the doorway, Remus, Kingsley and Kate following.

When they reached the front hallway, Sirius was just coming down the staircase. His robes were askew and his hair was rumpled where it had rested against the chair as he slept. He nodded his goodbyes to Remus, Kingsley and Bill. When his eyes fell on Kate, he closed the distance between them and took her in his arms. After kissing her briefly, he whispered, "I won't make them wait. Just, I love you. Be careful. Come home to me."

Kate kissed him once more. "I love you, and I promise I'll be careful."

Sirius reluctantly released her and watched until the door closed behind Kate, leaving him standing alone in the dim light of the silent hallway.

XXXXXXXX

They Apparated into the designated spot and found themselves standing in a dense mist. Chilled, Kate pulled her cloak around her. Using the detailed map Kingsley had provided to Bill, they quickly located the point at which the protection spells were first cast. Remus and Kate stood watch while Bill withdrew his wand and began a series of intricate and involved movements while murmuring an incantation under his breath. At one point, he turned to Remus and asked if he would take down some notes while he continued his spell review. Whilst the two wizards were so occupied, Kate took advantage of the time to review their surroundings.

The building that lay beyond the protection wards appeared to be centuries old. Comprised of dark stone, the building was small and may easily have once been part of a larger structure that had crumbled and fallen away with time. From this distance – approximately 500 yards away in a shelter of trees – it appeared that there was a light burning in the near turret window. The grounds appeared quiet in the mist of the morning with no other apparent sign or sound of human occupation.

Dawn had truly broken and the sun shone weakly by the time Bill and Remus approached her and indicated that they should withdraw a bit further into the copse of trees to speak.

"There are several layers of protection in place, as Kingsley told you. The outer wards did not take complex spell work. The first, as Tonks discovered, is a repelling charm. As you work your way further into the spell structure, they become increasingly more complicated. The final spell is Egyptian and is designed to reduce to a fine dust those who attempt to penetrate it," Bill explained.

"Charming," Remus commented dryly. "Although I believe that sounds like a variation of what happened to Harry's first DADA professor. Quirrell was the man's name, I believe."

Bill nodded. "Yes, Ron told me about that incident. Harry had described it in pretty vivid detail. We've encountered it in the tombs in Luxor."

"Is there a counter curse or other way through it?" Kate asked.

"Yes, but I have not personally cast it. I will need to do some research before we attempt to access the building, if that is what we ultimately decide to do," Bill told them.

Remus spoke next. "Did you find anything that might recognize that we shouldn't be here and strike out against us?"

Bill shook his head. "The more complex stuff is pretty dark, but nothing like that; there's no blood magic involved."

Kate looked toward the building. "Most likely to minimize the chance that they can be identified through any blood analysis we might be able to conduct. So now, we watch and wait."

The two men nodded. They quickly walked the perimeter of the building and found three spots were they could successfully signal each other if needed while monitoring the building and grounds thoroughly.

Having previously cast a strong Disillusionment charm on herself, Kate settled into her position to the side of the building, facing the turret window and cast a quiet warming charm. Sighing as she felt the chill dissipate, she settled in for what she anticipated would be a long watch. Kate reached into the pack next to her and withdrew a thermos of hot chocolate and poured out a cupful. As she sipped, she continued to observe the scene before her. She was well into her second cup when a translucent figure loped up to her. Kate smiled at the oversized dog and extended her hand. Remus' Patronus touched her palm with his nose then sat down. In Remus' voice the dog delivered its message. "Kingsley says Malfoy has just left the Manor in Wiltshire. He may be going to London; he may be coming here. We need to be on our guard." With that, Padfoot's twin turned and ran back the way it had come, disappearing within moments.

Kate packed away her thermos and watched the estate intently. She didn't have long to wait. A small "pop" announced the arrival of someone on the grounds beyond the protection wall. The identity of the new arrival was soon revealed as a tall, elegantly clad man with long, white-blonde hair and a silver-headed walking stick came round the east side of the building. With his usual arrogance and complete lack of concern, Lucius Malfoy withdrew his wand silently causing the huge exterior door to swing back on its hinges. After Malfoy had entered the building and the door had closed once again, Kate glanced in the direction she knew Remus to be stationed. There was no movement; clearly the original plan to stay put was still intact. While there were no witnesses, Kate murmured "Audio maxima", as she, Remus and Bill had planned to do to allow them to listen to any conversations that might occur within their surveillance range. Soon, a scuffling noise from the front of the building brought Kate's attention back to the door. She caught her breath as both Malfoy and Spear walked out onto the small, flagstone courtyard. Once they were a short distance from the building, Spear caught Malfoy's arm and began to speak.

"I will not stay behind here a prisoner. I sacrificed my position for you. I took complete responsibility for the break-out," Spear was saying, his voice a curious mixture of desperation and self-righteous anger.

Malfoy looked disdainfully at Spear's hand, resting on the expensive fabric of his sleeve then slowly allowed his gaze to rise until he was looking directly into Spear's eyes. The result was predictable and swift; Spear moved his hand as if Lucius' sleeve was on fire. Once the offensive touch had been removed, Malfoy's icy voice responded to the younger man's comments. "'You took complete responsibility'? Oh, my dear boy, I don't believe so. Your dear, late uncle bore the responsibility for the escape of my brethren…as placed on his narrow shoulders by you, yourself." At Spear's gasp, Malfoy feigned a posture of sympathy and surprise. "Did I not tell you of his demise? So sorry. Regrettably, the weight of his guilt drove him over cliffs at the edge of the prison. I'm afraid the rocks below were most … unforgiving. You would do well to take that as a lesson for yourself."

Spear's gaze turned from shocked to calculating. "I've learned many lessons in my short association with you, beginning with the realization that it is no more profitable for me to trust you than the Ministry. The fact of the matter remains – without my influence, you would not have had the contact needed to facilitate the escape of your brethren. For my trouble, I have no position, no future and no home, save this remote prison."

Malfoy smiled grimly. "Your trouble has granted you your life. Your stupidity in robbing me of a conduit to the Department of Mysteries has earned you your prison. If I were in your place, I would be grateful for the former and less disdainful of the latter."

Spear was silent for awhile, considering Malfoy's words. "It's true that I am no longer able to help you gain access to that department. Perhaps some alternative information that could assist you and the Dark Lord against Harry Potter could change my future?"

Malfoy tried, but was not successful in concealing his interest. "It would depend entirely on the value of the information you may have," he said, managing a detached tone that apparently fooled the young, inexperienced Auror.

"Oh, I think you'll find it quite valuable," he said, anxious not to lose Malfoy's interest. "It concerns that woman, Kate Morgan."

Malfoy's face registered genuine boredom this time. "She ran off to America after Sirius Black was sent to Azkaban. The fact that she's returned to England has no bearing on our work, Spear. If she gets in our way, she will be disposed of, just as any Auror would be removed from our path."

"Before you dispose of her, you may want to hear what I have to say. You may wish to find a way to capitalize on it," Spear said, voice cagey. "Were you aware of the fact that Morgan was in a relationship with Black before his arrest?"

Malfoy nodded and waved his hand dismissively. "What value does a long-ago romantic entanglement have to me today? Unless…are you suggesting that she is somehow involved with him now that he has escaped and is on the run?"

Kate held her breath. Malfoy was n ever an intellectual, but his gut instincts were often what kept him alive; as such, they were well-honed.

Spear snorted derisively. "She hates him. Told me herself…along with another fascinating tidbit." He paused dramatically, but Lucius was having none of it. His patience was fast running out.

"Let's have it, Spear," he spat. "I have better things to do than sit and listen to your inane rambling."

Spear swallowed his temptation to string Malfoy further along for his own amusement. "Kate Morgan was more than Sirius Black's bed partner; she was and still is Harry Potter's Godmother."

Lucius' reaction was almost equal to Spear's hopes. His eyebrows shot up while his jaw – momentarily – dropped. "You are certain of this?"

"Did I not say she told me this herself? It was in front of Shacklebolt and, to be truthful, he didn't look at all surprised. Now, isn't that worth a more important role for me with your people?" Spear gave Malfoy a smug look.

Lucius favored him with a small smile. "It could very well be, Spear," he said silkily. "I will speak with my colleagues and I will be in contact with you shortly. Meanwhile, I suggest that you remain here and do not stray out of doors. Your former peers in the MLE believe you a traitor and, morbidly dense though they may be, the Aurors will eventually track you to this location. Our wards will hold, certainly. Step beyond them, however, and your fate is out of your – and our – hands. I would not advise it. This is the protection I meant when I offered you our assistance. I would recommend you hold onto it – at least for the short term. Unless, of course, you've recently developed a love of … azaleas, was it?"

Spear paled slightly and shook his head. "I'll stay out of sight and await word from you."

With a curt nod, Lucius turned on his heel and Apparated from view. Spear blinked once at the spot where Malfoy had just stood then, with one final, very nervous look around him, Spear walked back into the house and closed the door firmly behind him. Kate, shaken by what she had heard, murmured, "Audio normalus" and waited for Remus' Patronus to make a return trip to her surveillance location.

XXXXXXXX

While Kate waited for input as to their next move, Remus sat, stunned and let Spear's revelation sank in. While neither the Order nor Kate had intentionally kept her relationship to Harry a secret, neither had they thought far enough ahead to envision how it could be used against them. Now, regrettably, the error of that omission had been revealed to them. Bill's Patronus – a jackal - stood before him, snapping Remus out of his thoughts. In a moment, Bill's voice came from the spectral mouth. "I'm thinking that we need to regroup. We've seen about everything we hoped to see – and hear. Let's meet at the Apparition point and go from there."

Remus conjured his own Patronus, repeated the message and sent it to Kate. Listening intently, Remus heard two soft "pops". Confident his colleagues had successfully gone on ahead, he turned on his heel and Apparated away to the designated spot.


	45. Coming Unraveled

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Remus arrived at the Apparition point to find Kate and Bill waiting for him. Kate looked as she felt – shocked and upset.

Remus walked over to them. "I assume that I'm correct in saying that we all heard the same news." He paused and when both Kate and Bill nodded, he gave them a small smile and continued. "I'm going to suggest a trip to Hogsmeade. Flourish & Blotts has a rather extensive research section and I believe may have what we need for at least one of the spells we encountered here today. Bill, you had indicated that perhaps the goblins might be able to assist you in clarifying a portion of the Egyptian curse we found in the last two layers." When Bill nodded, Remus said, "Excellent. I believe it would make the best use of our time to split up, do what we can separately, then see if Kingsley can see us to formalize our report before the meeting." Both Kate and Bill agreed; Bill Apparated to Gringott's while Kate and Remus Apparated to the alleyway behind Flourish & Blotts.

"Ok?" Remus asked Kate as they materialized in the alley with twin "pops".

Kate nodded, but her expression was distressed for another reason. "Remus, I never thought…" He reached over and hugged her tightly, cutting off her words.

"Stop, Kate. We've never worked to hide the connection. Peter knows that you're Harry's Godmother and he could have easily told Lucius or even Voldemort for that matter. This is information that could have been out there for quite some time. In fact, it strikes me as completely ironic that the only person we intentionally hid your connection to Harry from was Harry, himself and he figured it out on his own. My point is that this is not your fault – not by any stretch of the imagination. Please, Kate, do not waste time taking responsibility for this; our job now is to figure out how we can protect all of you."

Kate nodded and gave him a shaky smile. "Thanks, Remus."

"Come on," Remus said, taking her arm. "Let's get some tea, then go over to Flourish & Blotts."

Remus and Kate spent about a half hour at the Leaky Cauldron, drinking tea and allowing Kate to put something on her stomach that was a little more substantial than digestives. Once finished, they made their way to the booksellers' shop. Kate showed her credential to the proprietor, who respectfully showed them to the research section of the shop, up the rickety staircase and in a closed room away from the main customer area. Mr. Blott lit a fire in the grate to make them more comfortable. Unlike some of the townspeople, the bookshop owners had always liked and respected Remus and the revelation of his lycanthropy had not turned them against him. They also remembered Kate from her days at Hogwarts and later, as she studied in the Auror program. They had great fondness for her, as well. In the warmth of the room, Kate and Remus set to work translating and researching some of the more complex spells surrounding Spear's "safe house" in Totland.

At 2 pm, Bill joined them, bringing take-away food from The Three Broomsticks to complement the tea that Mr. Blott had provided in an ever hot, replenishing teapot. As they broke to devour the thick sandwiches and delicious apple crumble sent by Rosmerta, they compared notes on their research thus far. Bill shared that he had run into Kingsley, who would see them at 5, but preferred to meet at a location away from the Ministry. It was decided that he would come to the bookshop and Bill had taken the liberty of advising Mr. Blott of that fact. The proprietor was only too happy to assist them further. "I think he would have had the wife provide dinner if I'd even hinted that we'd be hungry again by then," Bill noted, smiling broadly.

Remus chuckled. "He and his wife have always been big supporters of Dumbledore and most kind and respectful of those of us who fought with him in the first War. As a matter of fact, they provided a great deal of assistance to us back then. They're very good people and she, if I recall correctly, is a very good cook!"

They finished their meal then dug back into the stack of textbooks before them, working silently until a knock on the door startled them a bit. Kingsley entered, smiling and taking a seat at the crowded table. "Where do we stand?" he asked.

Kate spoke first, "Bill's contacts among the Gringott's goblins really came through for us. The Egyptian magic is complicated – and deadly, obviously – but can be reversed. The arrogance of Voldemort's little group never ceases to amaze me, though. There's nothing more complicated than what Tonks ran into for retaliatory spell work. I'm certain that there are probably nasty things awaiting whomever actually takes down all the wards and spells and makes it to the house, but nothing strikes back at that level."

Kingsley glanced over the parchment she handed to him. "Death Eaters have always been rather fond of themselves – and their perspective on protection spells. They're good duelists, but poor protectors in my experience."

"There is one interior charm that is giving us a bit of trouble. We've got it almost completely resolved, but there is a final aspect of the spell that needs some additional research," Remus put in.

Kingsley shrugged off his cloak. "Well, let's finish it off, then. How can I help?"

It took some time, but through the combined efforts and expertise of the group – with assistance from the vast library made available to them – the last of the protection wards was finally resolved and notes as to how to reverse it were duly recorded.

"Merlin, we're late!" Kate exclaimed, checking her watch. "The Order meeting began 30 minutes ago."

They hurried to return all volumes to their proper homes on the overstuffed shelves and, ten minutes later, they were standing in front of Grimmauld Place.

"I feel like I've missed a Hogwarts' curfew," Bill whispered as they crept past the portrait of Sirius' mother and made their way down the staircase to the kitchen. Ironically, the first voice that greeted their ears as they approached the doorway was McGonagall's, making the four Gryffindors giggle aloud as they crossed the threshold. They immediately knew that was the absolute worst entrance they could have made. While Minerva might have excused the apparent joviality of their interruption and Albus' eyes twinkled in a mixture of relief and good humor, when Kate's gaze rested on Sirius, it was more than obvious that he did not share their tolerance. His expression affected her as strongly as any sobering potion would do and Kate dropped into the seat closest to her to avoid further disruption. Sirius looked round at each of the late arrivals in turn before focusing once again on Minerva as she finished her report.

Kate found herself only half listening to the Minerva's lilting voice, choosing instead to watch Sirius. Damn, she thought to herself as she watched his long, thin fingers worry the edge of his robes, picking a thread here, folding pleats into a sleeve there. His knee bounced up and down as he jiggled his foot and it was only when Tonks leaned over and placed her hand on his leg that he stopped, his pale face turning briefly in Tonks' direction to glare at her. Why didn't we send an owl to him earlier?

Minerva had finished speaking and Albus stood at his place at the head of the table. "Our intrepid members have arrived safely. Remus, would you please give us your report of the day's events?"

Remus nodded and stood, summarizing the protection wards and spells as well as the conversation they had all overheard between Malfoy and Spear. When he had finished reporting the details, and with an apologetic glance at Kate, Remus shared Spear's revelation about Kate and Harry, stressing the fact that this was not information anyone had ever thought to hide. He also reminded those present that Kate's role as Harry's Godmother was known to Pettigrew, who easily could have told Voldemort. Lucius may well be the last to know, he finished.

Sirius' reaction was swift. He turned to Albus and in a quiet voice that shook with both anger and disbelief, he said, "He'll use her to get to Harry, Albus. Kate cannot continue as a field operative. She has to be restricted to the Ministry – for her own safety as well as Harry's."

Kate felt her face flush, but she didn't have an opportunity to speak before Bill jumped in. "Sirius, restricting Kate to desk duty won't make it any safer. Remember, Spear was a junior Auror and worked inside the Ministry." Kate heard Remus' quiet groan that mirrored her own. He couldn't have picked a worse defensive argument!

"Sirius," Remus spoke up. "None of us is safe. We've long suspected that the Ministry had been infiltrated – however benignly. I don't for a moment believe that Fudge has gone over to the Dark, but he's certainly more concerned about his own reputation and job security than he is about protecting our world from Voldemort. He's in denial because he doesn't want to believe we're going to go through another War. Whether we're on assignment for the Order or doing our jobs in the public sector, we are all at risk! Even Umbridge is disrupting Hogwarts, undermining our efforts there. Kate's talented and she's a strong and powerful witch. Better she should put those talents to use working to defeat the Dark than hiding from it!"

Kate closed her eyes and cringed. Perhaps there was a worse defensive argument than Bill's after all. When she opened her eyes, Sirius' face had gone even paler than before and his eyes glittered as he watched his friend. Without breaking his gaze, Sirius rose from his chair and took a breath. "'Hiding', as I am doing, right?" he asked, his voice quiet and hard. "Well, I can't blame you there. I can personally attest that staying behind locked and unplottable doors while everyone else is out fighting is not a worthwhile occupation."

A disdainful voice came from the shadowy corner of the kitchen. "I thought this was an Order meeting, Headmaster, not a pity party for Black." There was a rustle of robes and then Snape stepped more fully into the room. "Surely, you will allow me to take my leave if our agenda has changed. I have a great many more important things to do than provide an audience for his endless, self-serving commentary about how unfair his life has been!"

Sirius turned in an instant and would have grabbed Severus had Remus not been fractionally quicker and caught his friend 'round his chest, effectively pinning his arms to his sides. Although Sirius was strong, Remus was much stronger and Sirius soon stopped struggling against his human restraints. With a smirk and a nod to the Headmaster, Snape crossed the room and was up the stairs in little more than a moment.

"Alright, Remus, he's made it to the door by now. Let me go," Sirius voice shook with anger. When Remus did not immediately release him, he added. "Mooney, please. I'm not about to go after him. How can I?"

Hearing the anger and defeat in his friend's voice, Remus released him and took a step backward. Sirius continued looking at the floor for a moment then silently turned and left the room.

Albus looked around at those who remained. "I believe that concludes tonight's meeting," he said. "Remus, Kate, Bill and Kingsley, I'd like you to stay behind for a few moments to discuss our next step."

It wasn't long before the others left, taking the hint from Albus' last words. They settled at the table with their various notes around them as they prepared to speak with him.

Albus began. "Before we get too far ahead of ourselves, I want to say that I agree with Remus and Bill about Kate's situation. I think we were naïve and, perhaps, a bit careless in our failure to consider this information before now but in reality, it does not change the basic facts: we are all at risk. We will do everything we can to protect every member of the Order – and Harry's safety is paramount to us all. I do not believe that there is any enhanced risk to our operations as long as we continue with our current course of action in as prudent and cautious a manner as possible. Are we all agreed on this?"

Everyone nodded and Albus reached over to pat Kate's arm. "You may have your work cut out for you with Sirius, my dear, but you undoubtedly realize that fact."

"I do, Albus," she replied. "We'll manage." I hope that sounded more confident than it feels, she thought.

Throughout the discussion, Kate's thoughts kept straying to Sirius and, as much as she wanted to participate in the strategy session, she also wanted to speak with him alone. Knowing that being unprepared for her part in the assignment would only potentially result in the realization of Sirius' fears, Kate shook herself soundly and focused on the task at hand.

Albus had shared the news of Spear's apparent (and now confirmed) defection with the rest of the team as well as the surveillance plans and schedule that had been devised by Kate and Kingsley. Order members had filled all necessary slots and full out surveillance was to begin the following day. As Kate reviewed the revised parchment, she noted that her team was assigned to the Malfoy's residence in Wiltshire rather than the safe house in Totland – and that she was not scheduled for Order duty until Monday. Curious as to the reason for the change, she raised the question at the next opportunity.

Kingsley and Albus exchanged looks and Kingsley spoke. "We feel that the safe house is only temporarily occupied by Spear. Its location is ideal for covert operations of a somewhat larger scale and could, at any given time, house a very large segment of Voldemort's followers. I want strong duelists assigned to that team; preferably those who are less easily recognized. I know that you're proficient, Kate, but your true gift lies in strategy, stealth and planning. We are uncertain how often Malfoy will return to the safe house. If you are on the Wiltshire team, you will be better able to track his movements here – and determine if he appears to be preparing for a large shift in resources."

"Relocation of the escaped Death Eaters," Kate said, nodding. "Have the overall teams changed?"

Albus nodded. "Yes. I want those with extensive DADA experience out in Totland. That means that Remus and Bill will partner with Tonks. You will work with Kingsley and Mad Eye Moody on the Wiltshire-based team. I think that Remus has the experience needed to take over your lead in Totland," he finished.

Although she was disappointed for herself, Kate was pleased that Remus was being recognized and appreciated for his abilities, something he had experienced little of in his lifetime.

"Kate," Kingsley called her attention back to the discussion. "I also need you to split your time between the surveillance detail and the Ministry. If I'm out, I will need you to cover for me, as well. You might not hold as 'senior' a title as mine, but you're every bit an experienced Auror. You and I can take "desk duty" in turns so neither of us is away from the action for too long." He smiled warmly at her and Kate could have hugged him for it. Clearly, he was not going to be as overprotective of her as she once feared he might be.

"Absolutely, Kingsley," she confirmed, returning his smile.

"We will continue to monitor Totland, leaving the protection spells intact until we determine there is a worthwhile reason to tip our hand. We will need to make sure we can re-cast them, if need be – and confirm what, if any, spells exist closer to the safe house," Albus stated, rising to his feet. "Now, if you'll all excuse me, I think I'll be getting back to the school."

As he passed Kate, Albus reached out a hand and squeezed her shoulder. "Take care of yourself, my dear – and good luck with Mr. Black. I fear you'll need it."

Kate smiled at him. "Thanks, Albus. You certainly know how to cheer a girl up."

He chuckled warmly and walked up the stairs to the front hallway.

Remus came up to where Kate was standing. "Do you want me to locate Sirius and work through the first layer of anger for you?"

Kate smiled, but shook her head. "Thanks, Remus, but this is my situation to deal with – in all of its layers!"

XXXXXXXX

Kate searched the library, two parlors, Buckbeak's room, her bedroom and Sirius' room but a half hour later she had not found the wizard. Pausing to change into a pair of track pants and an oversized sweater, Kate wracked her brain to think of another place Sirius might be using as a temporary retreat to work through his anger. As she passed a darkened side corridor for the third time, Kate stopped suddenly and went back. The porch. I should have thought of it before. When she arrived at the partially closed door, Kate could hear the crackling of a fire. She popped her head round the door and saw Sirius sitting on the loveseat in front of the blazing hearth, head down, hands clasped before him. She slipped inside and closed the door silently behind her.

"May I join you?" Kate asked quietly, sorry to see him jump at the sound of her voice.

He nodded and turned back to the fire, this time leaning back against the cushions of the loveseat. Kate made her way over and leaned down to kiss him in greeting. He didn't move – not even to turn his head to meet her lips with his own. Kate kissed his cheek instead then sat on the opposite end of the loveseat, tucking her feet underneath her and settling so that she was facing him.

"I know that you're angry with me – maybe with all of us. If you talk to me, maybe we can work through it," she said softly.

Sirius snorted, but remained silent. Kate wondered at her ability to wait him out this time, but she needn't have worried. True to form, the silence didn't last long.

"I am angry with you," he said quietly, still not looking at her. "Angrier than I've been in awhile."

"You have to tell me why, Sirius. I can't explain anything unless I know," Kate tried to reason with him.

Sirius turned, finally, his eyes dangerously dark. "How long were you going to wait to let me know that you were back from Totland and that you were safe? If we hadn't had an Order meeting tonight, would I still be here wondering? Would you still be out with Remus and Kingsley and Bill?"

Kate reached out to him, but he moved his hand away from her. She sighed. "You're right, Sirius, I should have owled you, but we were caught up in finishing the research so we could include everything in our report tonight. Truly, Sirius, we lost track of time. When Kingsley arrived late in the afternoon, we had one final spell we needed to research. He sat down to help us and we just kept going until we had it. I never intended to make you more anxious than you already were. I really am sorry and I promise you that I won't make that mistake again. If you are waiting for me and there's any way for me to communicate with you, I promise that I will. I won't make you wait and worry if I can help it."

Sirius stared at the fire, but reached out his hand to her. Kate took it and entwined their fingers. "I opened a nice bottle of Firewhiskey around 5," he whispered. Poured myself a big bloody glass of it." He turned to face her. "I threw all of it in the fireplace. Hell of a mess Kreacher will have to clean, but I didn't drink it. I guess that's some fuckin' progress anyway. Can't guaranty it will last, though."

Kate squeezed his fingers. "That is progress. Time was, you wouldn't have used a glass." She fought to keep her expression solemn.

Sirius' face froze for a moment, then his face softened and he laughed. Kate chuckled and the sound made him laugh even harder. When he'd brought himself under some degree of control, he gently tugged on her hand. "Come here," he said softly.

Kate slid over closer to him and he embraced her tightly. "I'm never not going to be afraid for you; afraid of losing you. I know that as surely as I know my own name. Now, things are more dangerous for you. Malfoy knows that you're connected to Harry – and how you're connected. He'll use you to get to him and he won't care if he hurts you in the process."

Kate nodded against his shoulder. "I know that. Apparently, Kingsley has thought of it as well."

Sirius lifted his head and Kate sat up so she could see his face. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Kate took his hand in both of hers and gave him the detail of their post-Order meeting conversation with Albus. When she was finally silent, Sirius nodded and his face looked marginally less anxious. "He's right, you know. You're a brilliant strategist and you and Remus are the best there is with spell research and analysis. Putting you in London plays to your strength, but it potentially puts you in Malfoy's path more often than you might be in Wiltshire."

Kate nodded. "But with more back up. Don't forget, though, he's not apt to try anything close to the Ministry. In addition to his precious reputation, Malfoy's got to find another way into the Department of Mysteries now that Spear is out of the picture. He'll find out that most experienced Aurors are well able to throw off the Imperious curse."

"True," Sirius agreed, bringing her hands to his lips and kissing them each in turn.

"What was that show of testosterone with Snape earlier?" Kate asked. "You've been teased before – and under more pressure than this. You really snapped."

Sirius' jaw clenched and Kate wondered if she should have brought it up before Sirius answered. "Harry used the mirror to contact me today. Apparently, Snape is using his typical charm and winning personality to make his Occlumency lessons miserable. Hardest thing I've ever done was to tell that boy that as big a git as Snape was, he needed to keep taking these bloody lessons so he could block Voldemort from his mind. I think I shocked the kid."

"Undoubtedly you did," Kate agreed. "How did he take it?"

"Reluctant, but right now, his fear of Voldemort accessing his mind is bigger than his hatred of Snape," Sirius confided. "Never thought I'd live to say this, but I'm glad that's the case. I told him that he'd have to really apply himself to the lessons to stay safe and to keep Voldemort at bay. He agreed. He knows how I hate Snape, so I think it might have actually made an impression on him."

Kate smiled. "I'm sure it did. I can tell you this – it's made an impression on me!"

Sirius took her face in his hands and kissed her lips tenderly. "Forgive me for my temper tantrum in the kitchen?" he asked against her lips.

Kate nodded. "Of course. Forgive me my thoughtlessness?"

Sirius nodded. "Of course. I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Tomorrow's Saturday," Sirius whispered.

Kate smiled. "So it is and, as it happens, I am not on the surveillance schedule again until Monday."

"We can sleep in," Sirius whispered, his eyebrows wiggling up and down.

Kate kissed him. "That sounds wonderful. I'm exhausted," she said. "And hungry."

Sirius chuckled. "You're almost as bad as the twins lately. I give you fair warning, if you blow up 'til you're the size of the Fat Lady in Gryffindor Tower, I may have to seek comfort elsewhere."

Kate mentally conjured what she thought she'd look like a few months from now and realized that the comparison was probably pretty accurate. Instead of dwelling on it, she gave Sirius a wink and responded, "Given the amount of exercise I get with you, I really think I'll be burning off any extra padding!"

He chuckled and they rose, heading to the kitchen to satisfy one appetite before retiring upstairs to test Kate's theory.


	46. Coming Apart

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

If newer Order members and those without Auror or similar training thought surveillance activities would yield results as quickly as they did on the first day of the Mission, they were sorely mistaken. By the end of January, their initial excitement had diminished somewhat, each telling the other that it was only a matter of time before the Dark Lord pulled together a cohesive strategy and things picked up. By mid-February, they wondered if perhaps Malfoy had abandoned his quest for whatever was hidden in the Department of Mysteries. By the first week in March, they were actually listening to the more experienced members who had been telling them all along that what they'd been experiencing was normal; the success tasted by Kate, Remus and Bill on that first frigid January day was the anomaly.

After putting in a long day in the office, Kate had come home and wanted nothing more than a hot shower, some dinner, perhaps some quiet time with Sirius and sleep. Stepping out of the shower, Kate stood in front of the full-length mirror in her bathroom, turning to the side to see the profile view of the progress of her pregnancy. As she was entering her third month, the flat planes of her abdomen had given way to a gentle swell beneath which the baby was developing on schedule according to Healer Selkirk. As Kate's clothing still fit and it was still a bit too early to see a great deal of change in the rest of her body, no one who did not already know of her condition was the wiser. While she and Sirius continued to share a bed and their physical relationship was passionate, tender and – Kate smiled – active, her body had not changed to such an extent that he even teased her about her slightly rounded tummy. She was, however, prepared for the time when Sirius would notice – at time that Kate felt was not too far into the future. Earlier in the week, Kate had spoken to her Healer about a concealment charm and its potential impact on the baby and was relieved to hear that there was no danger. To the Healer Selkirk's quizzical expression, Kate simply stated that the father was "away" at the moment and, although they communicated regularly, he also had friends with whom he spoke and she wanted to be certain no one gave away her secret before he came home and she could do so herself. It had more than the desired effect as Healer Selkirk was compelled to dab at the corners of her eyes for a moment, murmuring about how romantic they were. As Kate dressed after that particular appointment, she couldn't help but acknowledge to herself that she really hated the subterfuge with Sirius and so many of her friends, but Sirius' stress level had risen yet again – most notably due to Snape and his never-ending torture of Harry, Umbridge and her unbridled power lust that generally brought problems raining down on Harry's head and, of course, his anxiety that spiked whenever she was not sitting at her desk in the MLE department.

While they had not engaged in any true arguments, there had been several occasions of sharp words between them – during times when Sirius' worry escalated into full-blown fear for her safety. One evening, they were so irritated with each other that they each retired to their respective rooms after an evening spent in uncomfortable silence. They did not even have the relief of Remus' company as he was recuperating from the effects of the full moon the previous night. When Kate awoke in the middle of the night, she felt a distinctly warm weight on her feet and, upon casting Lumos was surprised to see Padfoot, curled up in a circle, his great, shaggy head resting on her feet. Kate had scratched behind his ears until he had transformed back to his human form and they had worked out their disagreement. Kate felt herself blush as she recalled how they had spent the remainder of the night and the fact that neither of them was seen before noon the following day.

A light knock sounded on the other side of the door and Kate pulled on her robe and opened it to find Sirius standing there. "Albus is downstairs with Kingsley, Remus and Bill. Something's happening in Wiltshire; Albus wants a full-out team response." His voice was low and he reached out for her, embracing her tightly; Kate could feel him tremble in her arms and she knew his stress level was steadily rising. Expecting him to repeat his general litany of warnings and anxiety-ridden dialogue, Kate was surprised when he added, "I love you. Now, get dressed and go get this bastard so we can have done with him once and for all."

Kate pulled back and her surprise must have shown clearly on her face as Sirius gave her a weak smile. "I reckoned you must have been getting sick of my usual speech. Thought I'd try something new."

Kate leaned forward and kissed him passionately. "Hold onto that. I'll be back and we'll pick it up from here, yes?"

"Just try and escape me," Sirius whispered, kissing her lips with tenderness.

"Never. I love you," Kate said when he broke contact.

Sirius sat over on the window seat while Kate dressed and when she had finished, he placed his hand on the small of her back and walked with her into the hallway.

When they arrived in the kitchen, there was a distinct undercurrent of both excitement and tension that pulsed in the air around them.

"What's happened?" Kate asked, squeezing Sirius' hand before seating herself next to Kingsley.

"Malfoy left Wiltshire the night before last. He used anti-tracking devices to mask his movements, but once he was clear of the estate, he failed to renew them. Apparently, he felt that there was no need as we would have had no clear starting point from his home," Kingsley explained.

"And, of course, we wouldn't watch any location but the estate in Wiltshire," Kate interjected, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"Cheers, Kate," Tonks chuckled from her seat beside Remus, earning a smile from the werewolf before they all turned their attention back to Kingsley.

"Malfoy stopped briefly in Totland where he collected Spear and left again. The safe house, as far as we can tell, is now vacant. There is some indication that expansion spells have been cast inside the building but we haven't dared attempt to get close enough to verify that's true. We do not want to risk exposing our presence to Malfoy or anyone else who might be there." Kingsley stopped.

"Kings, where did Malfoy go after Totland?" Tonks wanted to know.

Kingsley hesitated then glanced at Dumbledore, who nodded. "Hogsmeade. Between the Forbidden Forest and the Black Lake, near Hogsmeade Station."

Albus cleared his throat. "As you know, the station is deserted in the evenings while school is in session. We believe that Lucius is facilitating the movement of some of the escapees to the safe house, using the station as a gathering place."

Kate nodded, smiling. "It worked, then. He took the bait."

Kingsley smiled and inclined his head toward Tonks. "Amazing what a Metamorphmagus can do." Seeing Sirius' bemused expression, Kingsley explained, "We realized that we'd been spending our time assuming that Malfoy had a plan. One day, Kate made the observation that it would be completely ironic if, in fact, Malfoy had no clue and wasn't doing anything because he didn't know what to do and was afraid of putting a foot wrong in front of Voldemort. So, Tonks morphed into one of the more junior Death Eaters. She … well – he, at that time took the information we had already, vague that it was, and dropped some hints about 'enhancing our strength by using the resources we already had'. It took Lucius awhile, but he finally caught on and picked up the gauntlet. He effectively began talking over Tonks, taking her comments and transforming them into a "plan" he positioned as his own…"

"…'After much thought', he announced to us all," Tonks interjected. "Bloody wanker!"

Kingsley gave Tonks a smile. "Old Lucius began talking about moving some of the "followers" from various safe houses throughout Europe to one location closer to "the goal". With the recently enhanced magical presence in Totland and Malfoy's unexplained appearance in Hogsmeade, it would seem that we are about to encounter those "followers" at the train station." Kingsley paused then withdrew something from the pocket of his robes. "Hestia," he murmured and, leaning over, Kate saw that it was a mirror. She looked at Sirius curiously and he shrugged. Leaning toward her, he whispered in her ear, "Ron mentioned to Bill that he'd seen the mirror I'd given to Harry. Seemed like a good idea to give another set to Kingsley." He drew back and looked at her.

"To Kingsley?" Kate whispered back, smiling softly at him.

Sirius nodded once. "I thought that if I gave one to you, you'd think I didn't trust you. Not so. What is true is that I'm not sure I couldn't keep from trying to contact you whenever I was feeling … anxious. That could put you in greater danger depending upon where you were when I activated the mirror. I reckoned if I charmed a pair of mirrors and gave them to Kingsley, he could figure out where they could best be used." He smiled. "I'm learning, Katie-girl."

Kate felt tears spring to her eyes. "I love you," she whispered.

"Love you back," Sirius replied.

Kingsley pocketed the mirror and looked around the table. "It's time," he said. "Malfoy's apparated into the station and appears to be waiting for someone to join him. He's alone at the moment." He turned to Kate. "Kate, you're with Remus, Tonks and Bill. You'll apparate to these coordinates. Arthur, Mad Eye, you come with me; your coordinates are here. We will be in Totland, in the event that some of the Death Eaters are able to escape and head to Totland. We'll be waiting for them. Hestia has the rest of our team at the station now, waiting for you. Kate – Order members are going to be responsible only for securing whichever of the Death Eaters show up; Tonks, you and I will arrest and bring them to the Ministry to avoid exposing the Order. Mad Eye – distribute the Hellebore – 2 vials to Kate and 2 for yourself. You both should give us the edge in this battle. Everyone else will be visible. You will not. Take the first when you arrive. Keep the other safe in the event we need to renew the charm. Are we all clear?" At their nods, he rose. "Let's go. Cast silencing charms the moment you apparate in. Ready?"

They traveled down the small corridor leading to "the porch". Exiting by the side door, they lined up, by team, in the side courtyard and, one by one, apparated to their predetermined destination. Just as Kate stepped to her place in the line, she caught Sirius' eye. "I love you," she mouthed. The last thing she saw before apparition was his solemn face, as he murmured, "I love you," in return. Kate closed her eyes and Grimmauld Place disappeared from view.

XXXXXXXX

Kate apparated to her coordinates and found herself behind heavy shrubbery to the left of the station. The crackle of magic was tangible in the air; Hestia's team had already been drawn into battle. "Drink up, Kate," Remus' voice sounded near her ear and Kate nodded as she drew the Hellebore from her pocket, uncorked the vial and drank it in one go. She looked down at herself and watched the shimmer of magic pass over her body, rendering her image invisible. Looking over to where Remus had been, she saw them both making their way around the station. Sticking to their plan, Kate cast a strong silencing charm and moved to the back of the station where a large window afforded a view of the interior of the building. Malfoy was crouched in one corner, out of view of both Aurors and Order members. Almost in the style of Muggle western movies, he would periodically peer over the window sash and cast stunning spells in the direction of Hestia, Emmeline and the three more junior members of her squad – two of whom were lying on the ground, having been unable to evade his spell. Looking through the opposite window, Kate could see the LeStrange brothers dueling with Remus and Bill, whilst Spear had engaged Tonks.

Kate crept around the far side of the station building until she was level with the open window under which Malfoy was hiding. Aiming her wand at the top of his platinum blonde head, Kate whispered, "Petrificus Totalis" and was rewarded with the sight of Malfoy's tall body going rigid and keeling over backward to lay flat on the dusty station floor. Not pausing to enjoy the sight before her, Kate walked to the corner of the building where she had a clear view of the battle raging in front of the station. Tonks had stunned Spear and bound him securely; he lay beneath a large oak tree at the perimeter of the scene. Tonks now dueled Dolohov, a nasty piece of work who was cunning and dangerous – and very, very good at dueling. Kate waited until she had a clear shot and then sent her Stunner directly at his chest. He fell backward, away from Tonks, who quickly wrapped him in magical bonds and levitated him next to Spear. Kate knew that she had to move from that location quickly; she might be physically invisible, but her spells were not. It wouldn't do to be discovered while the battle was still in progress.

Kate traveled along the back of the station, putting distance between her previous position, but allowing herself a comparable vantage point to assist with the remaining duels. She looked over the front of the building and noted that the LeStranges were still going strong, but Remus and Bill were holding their own. Tonks had just stunned Augustus Rookwood, and was binding him securely when Kate heard a cry of "Finite" from within the building. Turning to peer into the window, she saw Lucius rise, face flushed in anger. Mulciber stood framed in the doorway, an evil grin slashing across the lower part of his face as he waited for Malfoy to join him. Kate double-checked the individual battles in front and noted with alarm that Hestia's entire team had been overpowered. It was now down to Bill, Remus, Tonks and herself against four of the most deadly of the Death Eaters.

"Stupefy!" Kate muttered the curse while aiming her wand directly at Rabastan LeStrange. A red bolt of light hit him between his shoulder blades and he fell forward into Remus. Reacting quickly, Remus bound the Death Eater and left him face down in the dirt as he turned to take on Mulciber.

"Werewolf", the Death Eater spat as he circled Remus, his wand drawn. "Filth, that's what you are. They gave you a wand, did they? A wand, but no job, no position in society." Remus held his wand on the Dark Wizard, his face impassive, his eyes focused on the other man. It was as if not a word had been uttered, so complete was his concentration. Kate longed to silence Mulciber, but knew that to be effective, she must select her shots to render him immobile; she could ill afford to allow her loyalty to and affection for Remus to make this battle a personal one. "Stupefy!", Kate murmured, pointing her wand at Mulciber. As before, the red bolt of light hit its target and Mulciber hit the ground hard, but Kate was not watching. Her eyes were locked on her hand, which was steadily becoming more visible with each passing second. From the corner of her eye, Kate could see her left arm similarly emerging. Although only a second had passed, Kate felt completely vulnerable and dove for the shrub to her left as she tried to wrestle the back-up vial of Hellebore potion from her pocket. Just as she managed to pull it free, a cool, controlled voice sounded from behind her.

"And the mystery of the invisible duelist is solved," Malfoy's smooth delivery could barely be heard above the sound of the fighting still underway. "Kate Morgan, isn't it? Sirius Black's former … lover, I'm told. Current Auror. Second in command to the great Shacklebolt. Harry Potter's beloved Godmother." Kate mentally reviewed the area she was crouched in and knew that the only escape route was to the right, but it put her squarely in full view of everyone in the front of the station. She heard Tonks and Remus battling Rodolphus LeStrange. If I can just wait them out.

"Get up where I can see you," Malfoy snarled, waiting a split second before crying, "Levicorpus!"

Kate felt a jerk on her right ankle, then the shrub began to fall away as Malfoy's spell lifted, then turned her upside down, guiding her away from her former hiding place. A moment later, Kate heard the counter spell, "Liberacorpus". Knowing she was going to hit the ground, she tried to tuck her body to ensure that she would not land on her head – or her stomach. Falling a relatively short distance onto the ground, Kate's left shoulder took the brunt of the impact. She tried to move it and, while painful, it didn't appear to be broken. Her relief was to be short lived.

"How dare you try to interfere with us?! Crucio!" he fairly screamed.

The pain was like nothing Kate had ever experienced. For all that the effects of the Cruciatus Curse had been described in her training, nothing could prepare for the reality of its impact. She felt as if she had been hit with a thousand narrow, well-sharpened daggers, each of which hit with the force of a freight train – and heated to a temperature beyond imagining. To scream would have required breath and that had left her body with the onset of the curse; instead, her body writhed as only small mewling sounds escaped her throat. And suddenly, it stopped. Kate drew a deep breath and tried to clear her vision. In the distance, she saw a flash of white light and thought it was the after-effect of the curse.

"Crucio!" Malfoy's voice was low, but the curse was uttered with such malevolence, such complete evil, it was worse than before.

Kate's body convulsed with the force of the dark magic directed through it. Her fingers dug trenches into the ground, and her voice rose in a scream that cut through the misty night air.

"Crucio," Malfoy whispered once more, and she realized that he was bending over her now. Finish me, she wanted to cry, but she had no voice. The pain was unending and she felt as if she were breaking in two. Black crept into the edges of her vision and she welcomed the unconscious that was sure to follow. As before, the pain suddenly ceased. A misty black cloud sent a cool, gravelly wind over her body, still shaking and heaving. The smell of blood reached her nostrils and she could taste its metallic flavor on her tongue. Kate was certain she was hallucinating as her eyes struggled to close; she was certain the last thing she saw was the face of Albus Dumbledore, his usually merry blue eyes filled with a deep and certain fear.

And then, he, too, disappeared.

"Albus?" Remus ran up to the Headmaster, whose voluminous robes and crouching position hid the shape on the ground from view. "Hestia and the others are being transported to St. Mungo's. We have Spear and Mulciber in custody, but the others escaped. I've notified Kingsley of our status here and he's replied that there is no activity at present over in Totland. Tonks is looking for Kate – she had taken the Hellebore potion so it could take …Albus?" Remus finally realized that the older Wizard had yet to acknowledge his presence.

Albus took a deep breath and rose, giving Remus his first look at the ground before him. "Tell Tonks you have found Kate. We cannot take her to St Mungo's due to her dual position in the Ministry and the Order." He conjured a stretcher and gently, almost lovingly levitated Kate to lie on its surface. Her eyes were still closed and a small trickle of blood crept from one corner of her mouth and made a trail across her cheek and onto the snowy canvas of the stretcher.

Remus felt himself begin to shake and his vision blurred. "Albus, she needs medical…"

"I am aware of that, son. Her…" Albus was not given the opportunity to finish as Remus laid an urgent and insistent hand on Albus' arm.

"There's something you don't know," Remus whispered, his eyes never leaving Kate's face.

Albus covered the werewolf's hand with his own. "She's pregnant," he said, his voice kind.

Remus nodded and turned a very surprised face toward his former Headmaster. "How…."

"Kingsley. He told me only a week or so ago, when Kate threatened to invent her own field assignments if he didn't give them to her. I believe he was hopeful that I would need the information only to assist him in assigning her to less perilous missions," was the response. "I know her Healer quite well. Only her family prevented Molly Selkirk from becoming part of the original Order . Please contact St. Mungo's and have her brought up to the school. We can waste no further time here; Kate needs to be treated quickly."

Remus nodded and took a step away from Dumbledore before turning back. "Sir, if at all possible, we must not divulge the truth of Kate's condition to anyone else."

Albus nodded with a sad smile. "You have my word, Remus. No one else will know."

Satisfied, Remus turned to make his way to The Three Broomsticks to Floo through to St. Mungo's and retrieve the Healer. Casting one more look over his shoulder, he saw Dumbledore guiding the stretcher bearing Kate's body up the incline to the school, noting that he was moving at a pace not normally associated with a Wizard of his age.

Turning back to the road before him, Remus was forced back a few steps as Tonks crashed into his chest. He reached out and grasped her shoulders to steady her.

"What is it, Tonks?" he inquired, his voice gentle.

"I can't find her," she said softly and Remus was touched to see tears streaking through the dirt on the young Auror's face. "Kate. I've looked everywhere, cast about a million finites and …nothing. I can't find her," she repeated, looking up at him.

Remus embraced her tightly for a moment. "Albus found her," he said softly, his voice breaking a bit at the end. "He's bringing her up to the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts right now. Come. I need to Floo to St. Mungo's and bring a Healer back with me for her. We need to move quickly."

"It's bad if he won't transport her to hospital, Remus," the young woman said and Remus had no words as he watched Tonks' hair change from its usual vibrant pink to Kate's muted auburn color. He knew Tonks adored the older Auror and thought of her as a sort of mentor. Her relationship with Tonks' cousin deepened that relationship until Kate seemed more like a member of Tonks' family. Remus knew the young woman was devastated by what he had told her.

"Come," he said again, taking Tonks' hand and hurrying her along to The Three Broomsticks, the image of Kate, lying on the ground outside Hogsmeade Station filling his mind.


	47. Shattered

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Poppy Pomfrey caught her breath when the Headmaster of Hogwarts hurried through the double doors of the empty Hospital Wing, guiding a stretcher before him. When she looked at the still, white form of the young woman and realized who it was, the stricken look on her own face mirrored Dumbledore's.

"Poppy, we need to activate the Annex – quickly. We cannot afford to have Umbridge discover the presence of Order members, particularly Kate, on the grounds," Albus spoke urgently, gesturing to the far end of the room where a tapestry of Humbert, first Healer at Hogwarts, covered the entirety of one wall.

Poppy led the way, while the Headmaster followed, still gently guiding Kate's form through the air. When they reached the tapestry, Poppy raised her wand and the fabric rolled up neatly, displaying an ancient, metallic shield that had been permanently embedded into a stone block. The block, darker than its neighbors, was distinctive in that it came from the site known to Muggles as Stonehenge, an historical and mystical place purported to have healing powers beyond those known to either world. It concealed a room that provided occupants an atmosphere of tranquility, peace and stillness designed to maximize the potential of magical healing. It also provided protection from outside influence or discovery, ensuring that Dolores Umbridge would not find it. It was a room at the heart of the school and its occupants had the considerable protection of Hogwarts while within its walls. It was in this room that Kate would rest and Healer and Medi-witch would treat her. It was here, also, that Order members could safely gather in these first few hours to wait for news on her progress. Albus unsheathed his wand and, with Poppy, touched the five sections of the shield in turn, each murmuring the required incantation. Silently, the shield began to glow and expand until it encompassed one-third of the wall before them. The center of the shield shimmered and then popped out into the shape of a large, intricately engraved doorknob. "Alohomora", Albus said, softly then watched as the doorknob clicked, turned and the door slid inward, revealing the room beyond.

"Come, Poppy," Albus took her elbow. "Healer Selkirk will be here momentarily. Kate needs to be settled so that no time is wasted once she arrives."

Poppy gently settled Kate on the bed in the center of the room and watched as it immediately adjusted itself to fit her height and to accommodate Poppy's immediate diagnostic needs. Through the entire process, Kate never moved, other than a periodic shudder that Remus assumed was left over from Malfoy's attack.

Albus looked around the room, noting that it was stocked with all manner of herbs, potions, magical and non-magical bandages and other instruments used by those in the Healing profession. One wall held up-to-date volumes of medical journals from all areas of Healing, arranged by malady to facilitate use.

A three-quarter wall separated the patient's side of the room from another section, which acted as a sort of Great Room where friends and family could gather to await the recovery of their loved one. Individual bedchambers, each with its own, private bathroom, were located off the Great Room and a small, fully appointed kitchen was built into the opposite end. The room was charmed to withhold sound from the patient, ensuring their rest and, hopefully, their prompt and complete healing.

A slight sound caught Albus' attention and the Headmaster hurried to the Hospital Wing to address it. There, he found Remus, Tonks, Bill Weasley and Healer Selkirk entering the room.

"Molly," Albus greeted her warmly. "I wish that we were meeting on a happier occasion."

The Healer's face was sad. "Such a nice girl, Albus. Please, from what Remus has told me, I need to see Kate immediately."

At his nod, the group made their way to the Annex door, with only Albus and the Healer moving into the room. The others stood gaping at the doorway, stunned at its appearance. All had spend countless hours in the Hospital Wing for a variety of illnesses and injuries – particularly Remus – and no one remembered seeing this room.

The Headmaster noted their stunned faces and, after watching Molly move swiftly to Kate's bedside, he came back to them.

"The Annex," he said, watching comprehension dawn on Remus' tired face.

"An ancient room with magical healing and protection properties," the werewolf said softly, peering inside. The Healer had conjured a privacy draping around the circumference of Kate's bed and, as a result, neither she nor her patient was visible.

"Very good, Professor," the older Wizard replied. "And there is a room for family and friends to gather throughout the treatment to be close to the patient. It is completely undetectable. If someone not associated with the patient – or given express permission to access the room were to be standing directly in front of it, they would be unable to see anything but the tapestry. I am a man of caution, however, and will ensure that the door is not left open at any time that I am not personally here." He paused and looked at the exhausted and worried faces around him. "You should go inside and sit down. Have some tea to take off the chill," he added, his own concern for them evident in his tone and demeanor.

Bill and Tonks thanked him and, with one last look at Remus from Tonks, made their way into the Annex. Remus stayed behind, putting his hand on the Headmaster's arm. "I need to speak with you," he said.

Dumbledore nodded and the two men entered the Annex, where Albus led them to one of the bedrooms and closed the door. Remus cast a silencing charm then sat in one of the two chairs in front of the small fireplace while the elder wizard seated himself in the other.

"What is it, son?" Albus asked, kindly.

"When Kate's condition is known, we will need to communicate with Sirius. It will need to be in person and I fear that it will be impossible to keep him at Headquarters knowing that Kate is here and, possibly, badly hurt," Remus spoke urgently.

Albus nodded. "I've thought of that, but the danger is too great to permit. With Umbridge ensconced in this school, even you are in danger here."

Remus was determined to remain firm. "But not in this room," he insisted. "It is unplottable, unrecognizable, invisible to all but we few. Umbridge has no idea of its existence; she's never been bright enough to do much research, after all. You are the Headmaster of this school and you have extraordinary power. You can allow direct Apparition into the Annex; I know that you can. Albus, this is not some 4th year hormonal entanglement. These are not two children. Sirius and Kate have given almost everything in this fight and they are committed to each other. Losing her is his greatest fear. I cannot allow him to be imprisoned in that hideous house when we can make this happen and they can be together. Please Albus. I'm not above begging and will do so if that's what is required for you to agree." Remus stopped speaking, the intensity of his words draining the last of his energy.

"Very well, Remus," Albus said, seeing the truth in Remus' impassioned plea. "But we must wait until Healer Selkirk gives us her full report before we make any such move. It shouldn't be long."

"Thank you," Remus said, sincerely.

They rejoined Bill and Tonks, to wait for the Healer to complete her examination. Thirty minutes into their wait, Kingsley joined them. Spear and Mulciber were in custody in the Ministry's holding cells. They were hopeful that the overnight incarceration might prompt Spear, at minimum, to provide useful information as to the location of the remaining nine Death Eaters and, of course, evidence against Lucius Malfoy. If not, both would be transferred to Azkaban to await trial.

Albus stood and looked over at the doorway leading to the patient's area. Remus and the others followed his gaze and watched as Healer Selkirk entered the room, fatigue and sadness etched on her kind face. Remus felt his heart sink into his stomach and Tonks' fingers clutch at his arm as Albus indicated a comfortable chair and invited the Healer to sit down.

"Molly," he began. "How is she?"

"She was subjected to repeated application of the Cruciatus Curse over an almost sustained period of approximately five minutes," the Healer reported, her voice quiet. She remains unconscious and may be so for several hours, at least. The initial convulsions have stopped, but her nervous system has been through an enormous strain so there are repeated, periodic tremors. The Dark magic used in the casting of this curse was particularly … vicious. I've given her potions to help manage the pain, replenish her energy levels and soothe her nerves. Sleep will help the healing process, as well. She's also suffered some deep bruising. I don't want to use more magic than necessary until we know the extent of the effect of the Cruciatus Curse. For now, I will let them heal naturally."

Remus longed for the answer to the one question he couldn't ask: Tonks was not aware of Kate's pregnancy. "Will she recover?" he asked instead.

Molly looked at them all. "I will be candid. If you're asking me if she will live, I believe she will. 'Recovery' is another matter. She's been tortured, Remus; it wasn't over weeks or days or even hours, but the malevolence with which the curse was applied was unlike anything I've seen in recent memory. She is a strong woman and she will need every ounce of that strength – both emotional and physical – to get through this."

"We need to tell Sirius," Tonks said quietly to Remus, who nodded in return.

"Albus, may I Apparate from here?" he asked the older Wizard. In response, Albus rose and, raising his hands toward Remus, he murmured an incantation.

"You may Apparate in and out of this room," Albus said to him. "I will do the same to Sirius when he arrives; you'll need to do a Side-Along Apparition this first time."

Remus nodded, taking a moment to squeeze Albus' arm. "Thank you again, Albus." He nodded to Tonks then, picturing the kitchen of Grimmauld Place, he turned on his heel and Disapparated.

XXXXXXXX

Seconds later, Remus was standing in the kitchen of Headquarters. He looked around quickly, but Sirius was not there. On a hunch, he headed down the hallway to the porch and was rewarded by the sight of his best friend, sitting in what had become Kate's chair, reading.

"Padfoot," Remus called quietly and Sirius' head snapped up from his book at the sound of Remus' voice. Remus' heart clenched as he saw Sirius' gaze dart into the hallway behind him. When he did not see the person he sought, Sirius' face paled but he straightened his shoulders and rose, moving toward Remus with the air of a man walking to the gallows.

"Mooney," he whispered.

"I need to speak with you," Remus said, advancing into the room and sitting in Sirius' chair. "Come."

Sirius stared at him for a moment, blinking rapidly, then returned to his chair and lowered himself into it, his eyes never leaving Remus' face. "She's gone," he said, his voice breaking. "I've lost her, too."

Remus shook his head "No, Padfoot, Kate's alive," he said. "She's at Hogwarts; in a special area of the Hospital Wing called…"

"The Annex," Sirius whispered, his expression one of pure fear. "She's been tortured."

"I should have known that you would know about the Annex," Remus said. "Yes, Sirius, she's suffered the Cruciatus, I'm so sorry."

Sirius' face grew dark and, if Remus had not been familiar with Sirius' temper, he would truly have feared for his own safety. "Who?" he asked, his voice shaking.

"Lucius Malfoy," Remus replied. "She's unconscious, or was when I left. Albus has brought in a Healer from St Mungo's to treat her. Bill, Tonks and Kingsley are there now."

Sirius spoke urgently. "Make sure she's never alone, Remus. Take turns, do what you have to do to make sure someone's always there with her. Make sure she knows you're there. And...tell her that I love her."

Despite the gravity of the situation, Remus smiled at his friend. "Tell her yourself," he said softly.

For the second time that night, Sirius' face shot up toward Remus'. "What?"

"Tell her yourself," he repeated, standing. "Sirius, I'm not here to give you a report and leave. I'm here to bring you back with me. I'm here to bring you to Kate."

Sirius stared at Remus for a moment longer. Remus watched his eyes fill, but was not expecting the man to leap from his chair and throw his arms around Remus neck. He recovered quickly, however, and hugged Sirius tightly for a moment. Sirius stepped back, rubbing at his eyes. "Thank you, Mooney," he croaked. "I know this is only happening because you fought for it."

Remus smiled. "Maybe a bit," he acknowledged. "But I didn't have to fight very hard."

"Thank you," he said again. "Can we go now? Can you take me to Kate now, Mooney?"

Remus extended his arm and Sirius linked his own through it. Moments later, they were both standing in the Great Room of the Annex.

It took Sirius a moment to acclimate himself; he had not Apparated any appreciable distance for quite some time. As he paused, Tonks approached him and hugged him tightly. Sirius embraced her in return. "You ok, kid?" he asked her.

Tonks could only nod. Sirius patted her cheek then saw Albus standing a few feet away. He strode over to him and looked him directly in the eye. "Thank you for this," he said. "May I see Kate, now?"

Albus nodded and gestured toward the side door. Sirius strode to the door, pausing just at the threshold to take a deep breath. He walked into Kate's area of the room, his eyes never leaving her.

She's so pale, he thought to himself as he approached the bed. The deep red of her hair was a stark contrast to both the linen on which it rested and her complexion. A chair had been placed next to the bed and he sat down in it, moving it as close as possible and reaching for Kate's hand. He drew a sharp breath at how cold her skin felt and the slight tremble of her body reminded him of exactly what she had been through.

Sirius watched Kate's face and was disconcerted to note that not a single eyelash flickered. It was this stillness, so alien to her even in normal sleep that was most disturbing to him. He took several deep breaths in an effort to calm himself.

His life was lying in this bed.

Sirius began to shiver from a mixture of fear and the chill that permeated the castle. He was grateful that Kate didn't feel it as she was lying under a warming blanket designed to keep her body temperature at a normal level.

Sirius brushed his fingers against her cheek then leaned over and kissed her lips gently. "I love you," he whispered. "I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can, Katie-girl, know that I'm here and that I won't leave until I can take you with me." He watched her face closely but there was no change, no discernable movement. Her hand trembled in his as another of the post-Cruciatus tremors ran through her system.

The thrum of magic in the room was palpable and it peaked in the area immediately around and over the bed. Sirius knew that this room was possessed of healing powers over and above anything found at St. Mungo's. Despite knowing that Kate was in the absolute best place, Sirius was suddenly consumed with the need to speak with someone - Albus, preferably - who knew of her condition, to hear all of the details for himself. Sirius brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers gently. "I'll be right back, love," he said softly. "I won't be long." With a final look at her still face, Sirius rose and went to the doorway of the adjacent Great Room where he saw Remus, Kingsley, Albus and a woman he didn't recognize in deep discussion. He quickly withdrew back into the room, not wishing to be seen by anyone other than those who already knew about his situation.

He cautiously peered around the corner, then reached into the pocket of his robes and withdrew one of Fred and George's Extendable Ears. Probably the only one Molly didn't confiscate, he thought to himself. Fitting that I would have it! Sirius bent down and placed the magical ear at his feet then withdrew his wand and gently sent it along the floor until it was close enough to the group to pick up their conversation but could easily be withdrawn if in danger of being noticed.

"…complication to her overall condition," the older woman was saying. "She's been weakened by her injuries and the curse-related trauma to her system is, in my opinion, significant."

Remus spoke up. "Is there a way to know the extent of the damage, if any?"

The woman shook her head. "It's too soon, really. There have been so few cases like this one, as you can appreciate, I'm sure. Really, all we can do is wait."

"Have you no idea, Molly, of the time-frame for knowing? Surely, there must be some point of reference – if not for this specific curse, then for general spell damage and the complications it brings to this overall condition?" Albus reasoned.

Sirius frowned. What 'overall condition'? He thought back to the weeks just after the holidays and recalled her 'nervous stomach', but she'd been fine since then.

"Perhaps," the woman – no, Molly – was saying. "I'll have to research a bit further. For now, though, I'd like to get back to my patient."

Sirius gave a great tug on the string and managed to get the device back in his pocket before the group broke up. Casting about for a plausible hiding place, Sirius saw a door close to the near corner of the room, on the opposite wall from where he stood. He hurried over and yanked it open and found a small storage closet. Slipping in gratefully, he closed the door almost completely, leaving a slight crack through which he could observe the Healer as she worked over Kate. As he stood, he watched as the Healer wove intricate patterns over Kate's body with her wand as a magical pen flew across a parchment on the bedside table, recording the detail of her readings. Sirius knew next to nothing about Healing – just a few rudimentary healing spells that he used on Remus the morning after his transformations. The shimmering arcs of color floating above the various parts of Kate's body were a mystery to him and he wanted nothing more than to be able to discuss Kate's condition with her Healer. One more thing I can't do for her, he thought to himself. As he watched, Sirius noted that the arcs over Kate's ankle, head, shoulder and abdomen were paler and shimmered less than those hovering elsewhere. As he could see a dark bruise covering most of her left shoulder, Sirius assumed that these were the areas of greatest injury. With a final wave of her wand, the arcs disappeared and the Healer approached the head of the bed to retrieve her parchment. Sirius watched as she paused and touched Kate's cheek gently, her face full of care and concern. I like her, he thought to himself. We can trust her, Katie-girl.

He stayed hidden away for a few moments longer until the Healer turned and, parchment in hand, returned to the Great Room. When he was certain she would not return, he stepped out of the storage room and closed the door quietly behind him. A noise from the opposite doorway made him jump and he looked up to see Remus standing there.

"Ok, Padfoot?" he asked, quietly. At Sirius' nod, he entered the room and went over to Kate's bedside. Sirius followed.

"Has there been any change?" Sirius asked his friend.

Remus shook his head. "Healer Selkirk – Molly – is reading the testing results now. We should know in a bit, I would suspect."

"I like her, Remus," Sirius said after a few moments. "She cares about Katie."

Remus nodded. "Yes, I got that impression, as well."

"She doesn't know about me, does she?" Sirius asked.

"No, Padfoot, she doesn't."

"We can trust her, can't we? We know that she's on our side, right?" Sirius looked at Remus.

"I believe so, but we can speak with Albus if you'd like," Remus replied.

"I want to be able to move freely here. I'm staying, Remus. I'm not leaving Kate until she can come with me. I promised her that earlier and it doesn't matter whether or not she heard me, I know what I promised," Sirius paused. "I also want to be able to talk to the Healer myself, ask questions for myself."

Remus placed his hand on Sirius' shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Let me go and see if Albus can speak with us now."

Moments later, Remus returned with the Headmaster in tow. Albus nodded to Sirius, but went over to Kate before he spoke. He touched her hand gently then returned to where Remus and Sirius were standing.

"Remus tells me that you would like to have Molly Selkirk made aware of your situation," Albus said to Sirius, who nodded in reply. Albus smiled warmly. "You are absolutely correct in feeling that she can be trusted. It would certainly allow you more freedom of movement, as you will both be staying here during Kate's treatment. I don't expect that the storage closet is very comfortable for you."

Sirius gave him a small smile. "I've been in worse places, Albus."

The older wizard's face grew more solemn at that comment and he leaned over and patted Sirius' arm affectionately. "You've been through more than your share of hardship, my boy," he said. "Come with me."

A few moments later, the three wizards walked into the Great Room where Molly Selkirk was just finishing her review of Kate's chart. She rose to greet them and Albus brought Sirius forward.

"Molly, please let me introduce you to Sirius Black," Albus said, smiling.


	48. How Can There Be Healing?

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

After meeting with the Healer, Sirius felt better only in that his instincts about the woman were proven true. She cared deeply for Kate and wanted very much for her to recover from her injuries. When Sirius questioned how she had come to know Kate, Molly Selkirk crossed her fingers and told him that she had been treating Kate for her nervous stomach and had come to like the younger woman quite a bit. Sirius had smiled at that and said, "I quite understand how that sort of thing can happen."

"May I suggest something?" the Healer asked. At Sirius' nod, she continued, "I'd like you to get some rest tonight; it's already past 3 AM. I'll wake you if there's any change and we can come up with a schedule where we each take a shift after that."

Sirius smiled at her. "Thank you. I appreciate that." He paused for a moment. "Any chance I could talk you into letting me take the first shift?"

Molly shook her head. "None at all, young man."

Sirius nodded. "Didn't think so. You remind me of another Molly I know who's equally firm once she's made up her mind about something. It's easier to take it from you, though; you seem to like me. She's … well, she's not very fond of me at all."

Molly patted his arm. "Do you provoke her?"

Sirius looked at her with wide eyes and took a breath to respond in defense of himself, but her face made him reconsider. Exhaling loudly, he smiled guiltily. "Perhaps I do … a bit," he amended.

Molly returned his smile. "Off to bed with you, now, Mr. Black. I'll call you if you're needed, but I'll see you for breakfast at 8 – yes?"

Sirius nodded. He rose and turned in the direction of the bedroom he'd selected as his own for however long he remained in the Annex. Pausing, he turned back toward the Healer and cleared his throat softly.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Would you mind very much if I gave you a hug?" Sirius asked her. "It's just that … well, it's been a long time since I've met anyone like you, someone who believes me and treats me like a person. I don't know, that sounds sort of poncey, but …"

Molly stepped forward and embraced the Wizard, rubbing his shoulder as she felt his arms go 'round her waist. "I don't know about "poncey", but it sounds very much like the nicest compliment I've had in awhile. And I don't mind the hug one bit; strikes me that you could use one about now."

Sirius nodded, and then stepped back. "Thank you," he said, his eyes a bit bright. "You're a very nice lady and I'm glad you're here." With that, he turned and went into his room, leaving the door slightly ajar.

Once she was certain Sirius was settled, Molly went back into Kate's room and pulled out the latest diagnostic readings. The replenishment potions were not helping Kate regain strength as they should have been doing by now. The pregnancy was complicating her condition as her body was naturally, trying to send nourishment to the growing life, but there was little to send. That effort was weakening Kate further and doing nothing of any import for the child. She rolled the parchment and sent it to its drawer, then, with a final look at Kate, she picked up her novel and settled in for her shift.

A chapter or two into her book, the Healer sensed a change in the woman before her. Kate seemed to be in discomfort and the tremors were more frequent than they had been when she was first brought into hospital. Molly rose and looked closely at Kate's face. A slight sheen of perspiration was visible on her forehead, but she was still almost cold to the touch. Although her face did not change, Kate made a tiny, mewling sound as if in pain. Molly turned, picked up her wand and cast the diagnostic spell. The colorful arcs flowed from the end of her wand and rose to weave over Kate's body. As before, they circled and arched gracefully, colors changing depending upon the location. As Molly watched their progress and the magical pen recorded the results, the shimmering arcs finally came to a stop. Molly looked at them and felt her heart sink. The arcs over Kate's abdomen were transparent, with not even a hint of color, but the connection leading to and away from that segment of the arc was still intact. Molly knew from experience what was happening and could only watch helplessly as the connection frayed, then broke and those segments shifted upward and reconnected over Kate's chest. Molly sighed, sadly and concluded the diagnostic testing. She performed a thorough physical examination, then cast the necessary cleansing charms and floated more warming blankets down to settle on Kate.

Molly sat back in her chair then Summoned the latest diagnostic parchment from the table. Her eyes blurred over the final entry:

4:57 AM: Female patient Morgan, Katherine - miscarried – first trimester fetus - male.

Molly blew her nose then rolled and sent the parchment to its file drawer with all the others. She rose and made her way to the door of Sirius' room. Pausing outside to listen, she could hear the sound of his steady, even breathing. Raising her wand, she cast a strong silencing charm then walked over to the room Remus occupied and knocked softly. She heard sounds of movement within and a few moments later, Remus opened the door, a look of concern on his face. "What is it?" he queried, glancing toward Sirius' door.

"I've cast a silencing spell," Molly said quietly. "He's asleep. Please, could you come with me?"

Remus nodded his frown deepening as he followed the Healer into Kate's room. Anxious, Remus looked over at Kate and was visibly relieved to see the rise and fall of her chest beneath the warming blanket. Turning his attention back to Molly, he touched her arm. "What is it?" he asked again.

Molly's eyes filled again. "She lost the baby about fifteen minutes ago. The damage from the Cruciatus was too much for her. It drained so much of her strength and energy that she could not sustain sufficient levels to both heal her body and maintain the pregnancy."

Remus closed his eyes and a soft sob escaped his throat. Oh, Katie. I'm so sorry. He opened his eyes and cleared his throat. "How is she?"

"The same, at the moment, although I would expect to see the strengthening potion begin to produce some results over the next 24 hours." Molly paused. "Remus, what are we going to do about Sirius?"

"Merlin," Remus swore softly. "You understand that he doesn't know about the pregnancy, right?"

Molly nodded. "I do. As her healer, I can tell you that she is going to need the support of everyone around her. She cannot and will not heal unless she has it. She will need to grieve this child and, in my experience, the grieving process is healthier and better managed when both parents are together and can share all of the emotions."

Remus listened carefully to the Healer. "Molly, she was so adamant about not telling him until the mission was over."

Molly returned his gaze. "Remus isn't the mission over now?" she asked pointedly.

"This phase of it, anyway," he agreed. "I don't know how I feel breaking her confidence. It seems wrong to take her secret into my own hands and dispose of it on her behalf. It's not my place."

Molly put her hand on his arm. "Remus, I thought it was Kate's welfare we were discussing here, not yours. Is it better to wait until she regains consciousness so she can face telling him herself?"

Remus shook his head. "There is no 'better' in this situation, Molly. If we tell him, he hears second-hand without benefit of their relationship, without benefit of her reasoning. If Kate tells him, he hears it all first hand and she can tell him everything herself."

"Molly, what has happened?" Albus' voice greeted them from the doorway.

Remus heaved a sigh of relief as he watched his former Headmaster walk over to where they were standing. "Kate miscarried a short time ago," Molly whispered.

Albus' expression changed to one of extreme sadness and he turned from them to go to Kate's side. He sat in the chair so recently vacated by the Healer and took Kate's hand in his, squeezing it gently. He stayed there for a few moments, then gently laid her hand back against the blanket and rose. Albus' head was lowered in thought as he approached Remus and Molly. "Remus, have you given any thought to Sirius?"

"We were just discussing the pros and cons of that decision," the werewolf said quietly. "There seem to be valid arguments on both sides of the matter."

Albus shook his head. "There may be multiple arguments, but there is only one possible decision: these two people – these parents – have lost a child. They must grieve together. They will need each other's strength. Sirius must be told. The only question is who should do it."

Although a large part of Remus believed the Headmaster was wrong, he was grateful that Albus had the strength of character to step in and make the decision. Now that it had been made, Remus knew that if Kate couldn't do it herself, there was only one person who could give Sirius the news.

"I'll go and speak with him now," Remus said, quietly.

"Thank you, son," Albus said, squeezing Remus' shoulder as he passed him. "We shall be here if there's anything you need."

Remus crossed the Great Room and soon stood before Sirius' door. He felt the tingle of the Silencing Charm as he crossed the threshold and entered the darkened bedroom. He closed the door behind him and conjured a small blue flame, which he held in his hand to shed some light as he peered around the room. Locating the bed and checking that the set up to the room was similar to that of his own – two chairs located in front of the fireplace, to his relief – he walked slowly toward the bed.

"Sirius," Remus called softly.

Sirius immediately awakened, waving his hand toward the candle on the bedside table to light the wick. "Mooney?" he murmured, pushing himself up into a seated position then rubbing the sleep from his eyes. His vision cleared and he looked at Remus with an air of confusion. Suddenly, however, the fog lifted and he cast aside the bedclothes and began to rise from the bed.

"Steady, Padfoot," Remus said. "I've come to talk with you for a moment."

"Is Kate…?" Sirius stopped, searching Remus' face, his own reflecting his fear that something had happened to her.

"She's resting comfortably," Remus soothed and handed the other man his robe. "Here. Put this on and come sit by the fire with me. I'll conjure some coffee for us."

Sirius took the robe from his friend, but did not take his eyes from his face. "Something's happened, Mooney, I can tell. You never were very good at concealing things from me, you know."

Remus nodded. "I know, Padfoot. Please, just come over here and sit down. I promise I will tell you everything."

Sirius slipped his arms into his bathrobe and shrugged it onto his shoulders. "Just tell me that she's in no danger, Remus, and I will listen to anything you have to say after that."

"She is in no more danger than she was when you went to bed, Padfoot," Remus stated.

Sirius nodded and seated himself in the chair Remus indicated. Remus stoked the fire and conjured a pot of coffee. Sirius twitched impatiently as Remus poured two steaming mugs, placing one on Sirius' side of the table.

"Alright, Remus," Sirius said. "The fire is blazing and we've both got our coffee. Why are you here?"

"Padfoot, please know that I wish you could hear this from Kate, herself rather than from me. As that is not possible, and because she will need you very much when she awakens, I said I would stand in for her," Remus began, watching Sirius' face carefully as he spoke.

"Remus, please," Sirius said, his voice low and trembling.

Remus nodded. "Right after the holidays, Kate began to have stomach problems, as you remember. She felt that it was a recurrence of an old problem she'd had back in school; her mother called it 'sour stomach'." Sirius didn't move a muscle, so Remus continued with the abbreviated explanation he had decided to present. "When it persisted, she went to St Mungo's and saw a Healer – Molly Selkirk, as a matter of fact. Molly confirmed what Kate had begun to suspect. She didn't have a nervous stomach. Sirius, Kate was pregnant."

Sirius' eyebrows rose and the color drained from his face. "When did she find out?"

Remus looked into the fire. This would not be easy. "She saw the Healer the day they fired Spear from the Ministry."

Sirius' eyes widened. "But that was over two months ago. She never said a word to me. Not a word. Remus, I don't understand."

Remus leaned over and put his hand on Sirius' arm. "Padfoot, please. There's more that I need to tell you. I promise that we can talk about any or all of it after I've finished but please, just listen for one moment longer. Yes?"

Sirius nodded. "Go on, Remus."

"Sirius, about half an hour ago, Kate lost the baby. The effects of the Cruciatus Curse were just too much for her body to bear. Her system was trying to heal her and nourish the pregnancy at the same time. It couldn't do both and she miscarried. I'm so, so sorry, Padfoot," Remus finished, his voice cracking.

Sirius was still watching him intently. "Is there anything else?" he asked.

Surprised, Remus shook his head. "No, that's all."

Sirius nodded and took a deep breath. "I don't … she never … why didn't she tell me, Mooney?"

Remus sighed. "She was worried about your reaction. Kate was afraid that you would be beside yourself with the timing. The fact that you weren't free, that you were living in your family's home, that you were still working on your relationship – all of these things factored into her decision. She wanted to wait a bit, Sirius; Kate was always going to tell you."

"When?" Sirius wanted to know.

"I don't know, Padfoot. She wanted to get through the mission because she was already committed to it. She thought that maybe Wormtail might be involved and either show himself or be mentioned. Kate was hoping that perhaps this was the mission that would reveal him and that you would be free," Remus explained.

"But we said that we wouldn't have secrets from each other," Sirius said, his hand fumbling for the ring 'round his neck. "We promised each other that we would be honest, even when holding something back would spare the other person's feelings."

Remus nodded. "I don't imagine Kate envisioned a baby when you made those promises, Padfoot."

Sirius closed his eyes. "I don't imagine she did, either. Mooney, why do we keep doing this to each other? Just when things start going well, something big happens and one of us goes back on our promises to the other. Why does that happen?" He opened his eyes and looked at his friend.

Remus shrugged. "I think that it's probably to be expected, Padfoot, given what you've been through. You've hardly had a normal relationship, have you? And you can't say that you've not improved because you're so much better now than you were."

Sirius nodded. "Maybe." He rose. "But maybe we won't ever be any different. Maybe we'll never have a relationship where we can trust each other enough to tell the truth. I love her more than my own life, Remus, but maybe that's not enough. There's something about me – or about us together – that prevents us from complete trust. This wasn't just her baby, Mooney, it was mine, too. Kate decided how I was going to feel and made the decision not to tell me. I didn't get to choose how I felt – she did. This was the biggest thing that's ever happened to us – to me – and she didn't share it with me."

Remus watched as Sirius walked to the doorway and back again. His words didn't bother him as much as his demeanor. Sirius' voice was low and almost expressionless and his face was also fairly impassive. Remus was at a loss as to what he should do. "Sirius, Kate is going to need you when she wakes up. She obviously doesn't know that she's lost the baby. She will need to grieve and she will turn to you. Sirius, you know that woman loves you just as much as you love her."

Sirius nodded. "I'm sure she does, Mooney. I'm not going to desert her. I promised that I would stay here until she could leave with me and I meant it." He walked back to the doorway. "I'm going to go and sit with her for awhile. I promised Molly I'd take the next shift."

Remus, still incredulous at his friend's attitude, rose to accompany him. He needed to let Albus know about Sirius' very unexpected reaction to this news.

Sirius opened the door and, as he crossed the threshold, he turned to Remus. "I think we can end the Silencing Charm now, don't you?" and he walked past Albus and Molly and through the door to Kate's room. The other two occupants of the room watched Sirius leave, then turned to Remus, their faces questioning. Remus explained what had happened when he'd delivered the news. Without a word, Molly went into Kate's room, returning several moments later.

"Shock," she told them. "Sirius is in shock. What you're seeing as expressionless and barely responsive is hiding his true reaction."

Albus glanced at Remus then back to the Healer again. "You're certain?"

Molly nodded. "My diagnostics are quite clear."

Remus stood in the doorway, watching Sirius as he sat by Kate's bed. "What can we do to help pull him out of it?" he asked, finally turning back to Molly.

"Nothing," she said. "He will come out of it in his own time and when something happens to trigger his true reaction."

"And in the meantime?" Remus asked.

"We just make sure he eats and sleeps and, when he finally gets to the breaking point, we just make sure that we're there for him," Molly said. "For both of them."

XXXXXXXX

In Kate's room, everything was quiet. Sirius sat by her bed, watching her face as he had hours ago when he first arrived. He felt numb and he couldn't bring himself to touch her. Sirius didn't know how he knew this, but he felt that if he touched her now, he would somehow crack open and never be able to come together again.

She's so still, he thought to himself. Unconsciously, his eyes traveled down to her abdomen. He closed his eyes and pictured Kate's body the last time he had seen her nude. Had it only been last evening? Yes. She had come out of the bathroom in her robe, but had removed it to dress. He had sat on the window seat while Kate dressed. In his mind he moved from her face down her throat, past her breasts to her stomach then to her abdomen. Had it been as flat as it was now? Wasn't there a little swell he'd never seen there before? Why couldn't he recall? He looked back at Kate's face. Even in repose, she looked sad, suddenly. Could she know what had happened earlier this morning? Sirius shook his head and sat back in the chair. He shivered; he was cold – inside and out and he was so tired. Sirius closed his eyes again and before too much time had passed, his chin had dropped down onto his chest and he had fallen asleep. He never felt the warming blanket encircle his shoulders as Remus tried to quell his shivers…

… and both wizards missed the movement of Kate's fingers against the blanket on which they rested.


	49. This Secret Hangs Between Us

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Sirius awakened with a start, knowing he had been dreaming but of what he could not recall. He glanced at the window and saw the dense gray daylight that came with snowstorms. Small flakes were picked up by the wind, whirled in circles like breathless dancers, then released to spring back against the glass only to be caught up again as the sequence was repeated. Sirius watched the March snowstorm unfold for awhile then turned to check on Kate. She hadn't moved while he'd slept but unless he was sorely mistaken, her cheeks looked as if they'd picked up a slight bit of color.

"You're awake," Molly Selkirk's voice broke into his thoughts.

Sirius nodded. "So it would appear," he said.

"I've brought you some soup, a sandwich and some tea," the Healer said briskly, levitating a small table to a position beside Sirius' chair. He waved his hand dismissively.

"I'm not hungry," he said, his eyes turning back to Kate.

"I didn't ask if you were hungry," Molly said. "You need to eat and so you will. It is not up for discussion."

Sirius looked up at her. "But I'm not hungry…"

Molly put her hand on his shoulder. "Sirius, you can hardly afford to lose weight. You need to eat to keep up your strength. You will need to be strong for you and for Kate. She's going to need you."

Sirius shrugged. "Molly, I don't think she needs me at all," he said quietly, looking over at the woman lying on the bed.

Molly summoned a chair from the corner and gently dropped it next to Sirius'. "How can you say that, Sirius?" she asked him.

"She never told me about the baby," he said. "Doesn't really seem like she needed me, does it?"

"I'm sure she had her reasons," Molly said.

"Maybe," he said, pulling the tray toward him and swallowing a spoonful of the hot soup. "But the bottom line is that we promised each other that we'd never hide anything again. She broke that promise; it's not the first time."

Molly looked at him sadly. "Finish your lunch, child. Perhaps things will seem better on a full stomach."

Sirius said nothing further as he turned his attention to his meal. When he had finished, he carried his tray out to the small kitchen and put the dishes in the sink. Feeling a bit lonely, he half hoped he would run into the Healer, but she was nowhere to be found. Still unable to shake off the feeling of loneliness or the numbness he'd had since speaking with Remus, Sirius made his way back to Kate's room.

Sitting in his chair next to her bed, Sirius found himself searching her face – for what, he wasn't certain. Answers? Maybe.

"Here we are again, Kate," he said to her softly, clasping his hands together in his lap. "Sometimes I think that you and I are allowed to be happy only in small bursts. The rest of the time, we're just angry with each other. You and I promised that we wouldn't do that anymore. We promised that we wouldn't hide things from each other – remember?" Sirius snorted. "You can consider that a rhetorical question, I suppose. I guess you already have considering what's happened to us this time; what you've kept from me for the last two months."

Molly walked into the Great Room from her bedroom and heard Sirius' voice. Her heart in her throat, she quickly walked to the doorway, wondering if Kate had awakened. When she reached the threshold, she stopped. Kate was still unconscious and as still as ever. Sirius sat slumped in his chair, eyes fixed firmly on Kate's face, talking as if they were in the middle of a conversation.

"I don't know what to think and I don't understand how I feel. I know I love you but I don't feel it; I don't really feel anything, except that here we are again. It's been ok between us for a few months, but now it's gone wrong again. Is it really me, Kate? Am I to blame for the fact that we can't seem to keep things working straight? I know that I've flown off the handle and that I haven't been rational at times – and I know that you and I didn't see eye to eye on the whole thing with Harry. Is that it, Katie? Did all that anger and mistrust lead you to keep your condition a secret?" Sirius paused and looked out of the window for a few moments, watching the snow pile up in the curves of the window panels. When he turned back to Kate, Molly noted that his face seemed less impassive than before. Maybe this very one-sided 'conversation' will help him, she thought.

"I know that I'm not the most stable person, but you said that I've gotten better. Have I not improved enough? Were you afraid that I couldn't hold it together for you – for our child? Did you think I'd hurt either of you? Remus told me that you were afraid I'd react badly because of my circumstances: the most wanted wizard in Britain, imprisoned in that hellhole of a house; was that it? And what does 'react badly' mean? I hate that you're just lying there and you can't tell me what I did wrong this time, because it has to be me, doesn't it? Only, Katie, there's a part of me that doesn't think so; it's not a big part, mind, but there's something there that says maybe you made the mistake this time around." Sirius stopped and took a deep breath, looking down and noticing that his hands were balled into tight fists. "Well, I guess this little talk made me feel something, anyway. Problem is, it's not something you would approve of, I guess. I'm angry. I'm angry that you decided how I would feel and how I would react and you kept my child a secret from me. I'm angry that you made me think that we had a chance at a life together and then decided to take it away and never even talked to me." He stopped speaking again and closed his eyes, struggling to bring his anger under control. After several long moments, Sirius opened his eyes and looked at Kate's face. This time, when he spoke, his voice was quiet and controlled. "I'm angry that love means something different to you than it does to me. Because I love you, I promised to work on all the things that were wrong with me and to make sure I didn't hide myself or anything else from you. Because I love you and wanted a life with you, I've kept that promise. When you told me that you loved me, I thought you wanted the same things. You promised to be honest with me and that you wouldn't have secrets from me, either." Sirius' voice dropped even further as he leaned closer to Kate's face. "This was one big fuckin' secret to break your promise with, Katie-girl." And with that comment, he straightened up and just stood by the bed for a moment.

Molly wiped her cheeks and quickly made her way to the kitchen. If Sirius was planning to leave Kate's room, she was reluctant to have the grieving wizard find her eavesdropping on him.

XXXXXXXX

The interior of Interrogation Room 1 at the Ministry was sparsely furnished. Tonks frequently thought that the head of the MLE must have watched many episodes of the American Muggle television show, "Dragnet" to come so close to replication here. There was a metal table and three chairs in the center of the room and the gaslights on the walls cast eerie shadows into all four corners. Unlike that world of make-believe, however, there was no 2-way mirror on the wall. Instead, Ministry officials could monitor interrogations by casting "Revelo" and watching directly through a magical porthole in the wall, itself – a porthole that was not visible to those in the interrogation room.

At the moment, Malodros Spear sat in the single chair facing the observation area, waiting for his interrogation meeting to begin. He looked nervous, an appearance that was alien from his previous, more arrogant demeanor. His wrists and ankles were shackled and he looked as if he had not slept in quite some time. It was clear that the night spent in the Ministry's holding cell had not been a pleasant one.

"Looks a bit like he's been hit with a bludger, doesn't he?" Tonks said, with a smile that didn't quite meet her eyes. "Ruddy bastard. He's the one who should be lying in hospital instead of Kate."

Kingsley nodded and put his hand on her shoulder. "She's going to be alright, Tonks. We'll check in on her after we finish here," he said. "Come on; let's see what our former colleague has to say to us. We've let him stew for an hour; he should be about ready to talk." He cancelled the charm with a wave of his hand and the porthole disappeared.

Tonks nodded and followed Kingsley as the man threw open the door with such force that it banged hard against the stone wall behind it. His action had the desired effect as Spear jumped, wincing as the shackles bit into his ankles.

"Settle down," Kingsley advised, closing the door and taking a seat next to Tonks on the opposite side of the table.

"It's ruddy cold in here," Spear said, a small shiver underscoring his words.

"Warmer than the holding cell, I'd wager," Kingsley cheerfully responded. "And much warmer than Azkaban, I assure you."

"I haven't had anything to eat or drink since I was brought to that holding cell," Spear whined.

"Oi, do we look like cafeteria workers?" Tonks asked sarcastically. "You'd do well to focus on answering our questions – truthfully – and then we may consider giving you a bit of something to eat and drink."

"Spear, I believe you already know what it is that you're facing. An Auror, a Ministry employee, in active league with the Dark Lord through his group of sycophantic followers known as 'Death Eaters'", Kingsley paused. "A traitor, really. People like you are generally held up as examples to others who might be tempted to follow the same rocky path."

Spear's face grew paler than before. "I'm not one of them," he said, his eyes shifting from Kingsley to Tonks then back again.

"Then you won't mind showing me your arm, will you?" Kingsley asked quietly.

Spear's eyes widened a bit and he left his shackled hands in his lap.

"I guess that's my answer, then," Kingsley said softly. "Spear, you need to know that the Dark Mark you have on your arm will result in a much harsher time for you in this matter. You will be tried, yes, but as a traitor and Death Eater, your trial will be a matter of form and your sentence will, of course, be imprisonment in Azkaban. There is a way that you might be able to make things easier for yourself, however. Let's say that you knew the location of Malfoy and or the remaining escaped Death Eaters who got away last night. Sharing that information with us just might help your case."

The look on Spear's face was one of pure agony, but he remained silent.

"Come on, Kingsley, let's go talk to Mulciber. Perhaps he'll be more cooperative than this one," said Tonks, disdainfully.

Kingsley rose and took one final look at Spear. "If he is, Spear, the deal will go to him. I've only got one to offer and it's first come, first served." He paused. "No? Well, then, it's your funeral." Kingsley opened the door for Tonks. "I would imagine there are a couple of residents who will be very happy to see the Auror who sent them there."

"Wait!" Spear's shrill cry split the silence in the room. Kingsley and Tonks turned back to him expectantly.

"Did you have something you'd like to tell us?" Tonks asked him sweetly.

Spear nodded, perspiration breaking out on his forehead and upper lip. "But you have to protect me," he choked out.

Kingsley and Tonks closed the door and reclaimed their seats. "If you have anything that turns out to be of use to us, I will do whatever I can to protect you."

Spear licked his lips nervously and shook his head. "Not good enough. Believe me, what I have to tell you will merit my protection."

The two Aurors exchanged a brief look. Kingsley conjured a magical pen and parchment and placed them on the table. The quill was poised over the parchment, waiting. With a final look at his former colleagues, Spear took a deep breath and began to speak.

XXXXXXXX

Sirius awakened sharply, his breathing labored and his body covered in perspiration. He tore the covers away from himself and rose, stripping his clothing off on his way to the bathroom. As he stood in the shower, he tried to remember the nightmare that had gripped him, but the images were melting and disappearing even as he tried to focus. The only thing he knew was that this was a different dream than those that plagued him at Grimmauld Place. Sighing, Sirius finished his shower and dressed in fresh robes that Remus had packed and brought to the Annex sometime during the morning.

Wandering out into the kitchen, Sirius found Molly sitting at the table making notes on a large piece of parchment and sipping a cup of tea.

"Is there enough tea to share?" he asked, receiving a warm smile.

"Of course, child. Sit down," Molly gestured to a chair next to her. As she summoned a large mug from the counter and poured Sirius a generous cup of the steaming tea, she added, "Two of your friends stopped in whilst you were asleep."

Sirius blew on his tea. "Oh?"

"Mmhmm. Kingsley Shacklebolt and your cousin, Nymphadora, were here. They said they'd stop back this evening," Molly told him.

Sirius snorted. "Unless you want to be on the receiving end of your profession's skills, you'll not call my cousin by her given name to her face," he told her. "It's 'Tonks', if you please."

Molly chuckled. "Yes, I found that out."

Sirius sipped his tea. "Did they stop in to see Kate?"

"For a moment. Nymph … Tonks seems quite fond of her. She was upset that Kate hasn't yet awakened." Molly remembered the young woman's expression as she looked at her friend and awkwardly smoothed her blanket and patted her hand. It had been quite touching and more than a little sad.

"Yes, Tonks really looks up to her." He paused for a moment. "How is Kate? Any change?" Sirius was still feeling a good deal of anger toward Kate, the result of the time he spent with her earlier in the day.

Molly nodded. "Her vital signs are a bit stronger and there's more color in her face than there was this morning. All positive signs."

"Do you know when she might wake up?"

Molly shook her head. "We can never tell, child. As I told you, she's suffered tremendous trauma with the Cruciatus and then, the loss of the baby. It may be awhile yet, before she comes around." The Healer watched the wizard for a few moments as he quietly drank his tea. "Sometimes it helps the patient to have a loved one speak or read to them while they're unconscious. Just because they cannot respond to us does not mean they cannot hear us," she added.

Sirius looked up sharply. "Is there no way to know – really know – if she can hear us?"

In for a penny, in for a pound, she thought. "For certain? No. But it is highly likely. If there are things you would like to say to Kate, I think that you should do so. There are Healers who believe it can bring the patient around more quickly."

Sirius gave her a level stare. "Molly, I'm feeling a good deal of anger toward Kate right now. Earlier, I said some things that I perhaps should have waited to say."

Molly put aside her parchment and leaned over to put her hand over Sirius' where it lay on the table. "I don't believe in coincidence, child. I believe that everything in this life happens for a reason. We don't always learn what that reason is, but I know in my heart that nothing is random. If you said things to Kate this morning, they needed to be said. Perhaps in retrospect, you realize that some of them might not have been entirely true, or might have been colored by your own emotions and fears. That's fine. Perhaps the purpose was to have you just get them out where you could see them. In many ways, you are grieving just as Kate will need to do. You are grieving what you perceive to be the death of the trust you thought you had between you. But, Sirius, do not allow yourself to throw your relationship away before you have the chance to really talk with Kate and listen to what she has to say to you. From what I understand, your lives have taken so many twists and turns, yet you've always found your way back to each other. That takes great love and great commitment. I know what Azkaban does to men, Sirius – and it takes far less time than 12 years for the destruction to occur. To have found each other after that experience is a testimony to what you have."

Sirius nodded, looking away. "I know what we had, Molly. I just don't know if it's enough anymore. Every time we turn around, we're angry with one another. Sometimes it's because I've mucked it up; actually, it's usually because I've mucked it up. I either imagine things that aren't there or my neurotic approach to decisions drives her bonkers. Maybe she just doesn't want me anymore. Maybe that's why she hid the pregnancy from me."

"That's where you're wrong, child. Kate loves you very much. Very much, indeed. Do you know that when I offered to tell her the sex of the baby, she turned me down," Molly told him. "She told me that she'd rather come back in a few months with the father – so you could be told together. She didn't want to find out without you, Sirius. I'll grant you that I don't know either of you very well, but that sort of request doesn't generally come from a woman who is not in love with the father of her child," she reasoned.

Sirius placed his other hand on top of Molly's and squeezed lightly. "Thank you," he whispered. Gently extracting his hand, Sirius stood. "I think I'll go and sit with her awhile," he added.

"I think that's an excellent idea," Molly agreed. "I'll call you when dinner is ready."

Sirius nodded and left the room.

XXXXXXXX

Sirius sat silently with Kate, thinking about all that had happened that day – including his conversation with Molly, until Kingsley and Tonks arrived in the late afternoon. When they came in to check on her progress, Sirius rose and Tonks embraced him tightly. "How are you holding up, Sirius?" she asked, sniffling a bit and wiping her nose with her sleeve.

Sirius reached into the pocket of his robes and handed her a handkerchief. "Here, use this. I'm fine, thanks," he said then offered his hand to Kingsley, who shook it warmly.

"Sirius," he said. "How is she?"

"She seems a bit better this afternoon," Sirius said. "She has better color, as you can see." Tonks went around to the side of the bed and sat in Sirius' chair. Kingsley took Sirius' arm and led him toward the doorway.

"I heard about the baby, Sirius. I'm sorry," he said.

"Thanks. How did you hear?"

"Remus. I ran into him at Headquarters earlier," Kingsley told him. "I wish things had turned out differently."

Sirius nodded. "Thank you," he said again. "Any progress on the investigation?" His lip curled. "Has anyone decided to give over on Malfoy yet?"

Kingsley nodded shortly. "As a matter of fact they have. Spears decided that his ruddy hide needed a little Ministry protection and had quite a tale to tell as a result."

Sirius looked at him, waiting expectantly for more detail.

"Later. I understand that Albus and Remus will be joining us for dinner. We'll tell you everything then. Albus has assigned Dobby, the Malfoy's old house elf, to the Annex now that it appears that you all may be here for longer than a few days. You will recall that Harry tricked Lucius into freeing Dobby a couple of years ago?" At Sirius' confused nod, Kingsley continued. "In addition to relieving you and Molly from kitchen duty, as a free house elf, Dobby no longer has any loyalty to the Malfoys. Albus felt that perhaps Dobby might be able to share some of the layout of the Manor in Wiltshire. Might give us some valuable information about the location of the remaining escapees."

Sirius nodded. "I'll look forward to hearing what Spear had to say. What about Mulciber? Does that need to wait until dinner?"

Kingsley shook his head. "No. Mulciber refuses to speak with us, unsurprisingly. He is back in his cell in Azkaban – where he will stay for a very long time."

"Kate?" Tonks' excited voice drifted over to them from Kate's bed. Immediately, Sirius and Kingsley rushed to her side.

"What is it, Tonks?" Sirius asked, eyes moving swiftly over Kate's face.

"She moved," Tonks said. "She moved her hand like she was trying to reach for something."

Sirius leaned over and looked at Kate's face. "Kate?" Did her eyelids flutter just a bit? He couldn't be certain, but he thought he saw something.

Stepping away from the bed, Sirius moved to the doorway and called for the Healer. It took Molly only a moment to arrive in Kate's room and to hear what both Tonks and Sirius had to report. "I'd like to examine her, if you could all please step into the next room for a moment. I'll join you when I'm finished."

The three friends left the Healer to her work, moving into the Great Room to wait. Fifteen minutes later, Molly rejoined them.

"Is she awake?" Tonks jumped up from the couch at her entrance.

Molly smiled at the young woman, but shook her head. "No, dear, she is not awake. I'm sorry." She turned to Sirius, who stood in front of the fireplace. "She's closer, though. It's a very good sign, child."

Sirius nodded and continued to gaze into the fire. What will happen then, Katie-girl? He took several deep breaths to bring his emotions under control. Will we come out of this one stronger than before? Or will we finally walk away for good?

"I hope so, Molly," he said quietly.


	50. Awakenings

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Silence. No sounds of war came to her now; no voices raised in battle reached her ears; no gentle hum of warmth and concern that had so recently pierced her consciousness; no low-pitched baritone steeped in sadness, in bitterness, in anger could be heard.

Kate tried again to open her eyes, as she had been doing each time she awakened over the past – how many? – hours; again they would not obey. The last time she had awakened, Kate had been able, finally, to move her hand. She had heard a voice – Tonks'? -and had reached toward it, desperate to let someone know she could hear them; at some level, she was awake, or, at least, aware. Tonks had noticed and others had come and that extra thrum of magic that seemed to surround her at different intervals came again. And, as usual, once it was over, she felt drained and lost the connection to what was happening around her as she fell back into the darkness.

Soon, Kate abandoned the struggle to make her body obey her; the fight was too taxing and she did not want to relinquish this level of awareness to exhaustion too soon. Instead, she lay quietly, listening to her surroundings and drifting in an out of this "awareness" state, as she had come to think of it.

Suddenly, the low baritone voice was back. "…says you're closer to waking up," Kate heard. "When you reached out to Tonks earlier, the Healer said it meant that you were becoming more aware of your surroundings. I wish I knew how to feel about that, Katie-girl." Sirius. Merlin, how can that be? Where am I? I can't be in hospital, otherwise he couldn't be here. I can't be at Grimmauld, but how can he be anywhere else?

"I'm not sure what's going to happen when you wake up," Sirius continued and Kate could hear that odd mix of sadness and anger she had heard before. "I'm not sure I know how to talk to you anymore; but I have so many things I need to say, need to ask." The baby. He knows about the pregnancy…

She heard the chair scrape against the floor. No! Don't go. Stay. Talk to me. "Kingsley, Tonks, Dumbledore and Remus have arrived for dinner. Kingsley arrested Spear and re-arrested Mulciber at Hogsmeade Station the night that you…well, the night of your encounter. Spear spilled his guts to Kingsley and Tonks for consideration in his sentence – and protection from his former friends. Mulciber is back in Azkaban. I hope that Spear gave them a lot of detail about Lucius Malfoy. Katie, whatever else happens, I want that man to pay for what he did to you. Rest, now. Merlin, 'rest now'; I don't even know if you can hear me."He paused. "I'm going to join the others. I'll stop back later." Then, Kate heard the echo of footsteps and knew he was gone.

Lucius Malfoy. The pain he inflicted was beyond belief. Kate could feel her body burn and her muscles seize as the memory of the repeated Cruciatus curses came clearly to mind. The inability to draw breath, to think beyond the agony was almost too much to recall. After a moment or two of living the horror again, Kate allowed herself to slip back into darkness – and peace.

XXXXXXXX

Sirius walked into the kitchen and took his place at table. Mindful of Molly Selkirk's watchful eye, he filled his plate with generous portions of roasted potatoes, asparagus and roast beef and poured himself a tall glass of milk. He turned and gave the healer a wide-eyed look, while gesturing toward his plate. "Happy?" he mouthed. She smiled at him and inclined her head slightly.

"Kingsley. Tonks. Now that we're all here, perhaps you can enlighten us as to the result of your interrogation of Spear and Mulciber," Albus suggested.

Kingsley sat back in his chair, crossing his legs with an air of a man with a significant story to tell. He glanced 'round the table at those assembled then took a breath and began. "As you would imagine, Spear is not privy to the high level machinations of the Death Eater organization. He was, however, valuable to Lucius in attempting to access the Department of Mysteries. Obviously, they have been otherwise occupied, which probably accounts for the reason that Spear is still alive. He would, after all, have been no more successful, in the end, than Bode. At any rate, after proving most helpful in both the breakout of the ten Death Eaters from Azkaban and the disposition of Prudence Castleberry at St Mungo's, Malfoy realized that Spear's future use would be limited so he set him up in the safe house in Totland while he tried to figure out what to do with him. Turns out, Spear enhanced his value by putting together the location for the transfer of most of the Death Eaters to Totland, although that fell by the wayside after our little skirmish." Kingsley paused for a sip of butterbeer.

"You've confirmed they're not there, then?" Sirius asked.

Kingsley nodded. "We've had Dawlish and Mad Eye out on surveillance since the night they attempted the transfer. There's no sign of anyone at that location. It strengthens Spear's assertion that some of them are holed up in Wiltshire, with Malfoy himself or at other locations he or his wife owns. We've put teams on surveillance at all known locations but we've yet to see anyone of interest – including Malfoy. We attempted to interview him at his home, but his wife said that he was on a business trip and would not be returning for several days."

"Is Fudge any warmer to the idea that Voldemort is back?" Sirius asked. "I assume you met with him to discuss Hogsmeade Station."

Kingsley nodded. "I have. He felt that we should withhold comment or judgment until Malfoy returns from his 'business trip' and we are able to interview him; a conversation which the Minister plans to attend."

Remus shook his head. "And the fact that Malfoy was in the presence of and actively working with several of the escaped Death Eaters did not appear to sway him at all, I suppose?"

"Not in the least, Remus, although I will say that his nerves appear to be paying the price for his denial. Not a lot of eye contact to be had when I met with him," Kingsley stated.

Dumbledore, who had been silent throughout the conversation, now spoke. "I believe, Remus, that Cornelius realizes that he painted himself into a very narrow political corner some time ago. He's denied the resurgence of Voldemort to preserve his own sense of well-being – not to mention his job. He's catered to Lucius Malfoy and accepted his galleons. Now, one of his own senior Aurors has come to him with incontrovertible proof that Malfoy is in league with Voldemort and has used an Unforgivable Curse to torture another senior Auror. I'll wager that the Minister will find his way out of that corner by pursuing a time-honored excuse on behalf of Malfoy – the Imperius Curse."

Sirius snorted. "That will be rich to see. Malfoy was under the constraints of the Imperius, a curse Voldemort used handily in the first war; however Fudge denies the resurrection of Voldemort, so how can the theory logically stand? He's delusional if he thinks people will buy into that theory."

"It worked the last time," Remus put in. "I would imagine that Malfoy would consider it a foregone conclusion that it would work again."

"Is there a chance that Veritaserum could be used as part of the interrogation?" Sirius asked.

Kingsley nodded. "Of course; it is routinely used when the MLE anticipates a witness will be uncooperative or less than completely truthful. The problem will be convincing Fudge that it's required. I believe, however, with a bit of creativity, we can persuade him."

Albus spoke up again. "There was no sign of Bellatrix LeStrange at Hogsmeade Station, is that correct?"

Tonks nodded. "My dear auntie was most likely holed up somewhere safe with her boyfriend – the Dark Lord, while hubby was out wreaking havoc on the countryside."

"One more interesting piece of information came out of our conversation with Spear," Kingsley continued. "And it's one that should be of particular interest to you, Sirius; Pettigrew has been attending his Master since he came back to full strength last year. Spear has no idea who he is, but he spoke of a man, on the fringes of the Death Eaters yet not one of them, a short, watery, wasted little man with a silver hand. A man whom the others called 'Wormtail'." Sirius' face paled at the name.

"Kate was right, then," Remus said quietly, glancing at his friend.

Sirius rose. "No, Mooney, she wasn't 'right'. Keeping her secret from me wasn't right. We all want to capture Wormtail. We all know that he's with Voldemort, based on what happened last year after the Tri-Wizard Tournament," he spat bitterly.

Tonks from her cousin to Remus, her face confused. "What are we talking about here?"

Remus addressed Sirius instead. "Padfoot, I believe Kate meant that perhaps he might show himself or that his location might be revealed to us, leaving him vulnerable to capture."

Sirius shook his head. "Two entirely different issues. You can't excuse this one, Mooney. I can accept the blame for the incident with Harry at Christmas, but this one isn't mine. If you'll excuse me, I'm finished here."

Sirius strode into the Great Room and, after a moment, Tonks followed him.

"Oi, Sirius," she called, drawing level with him and catching his arm. "What in bloody hell is going on?"

Sirius looked down at her, eyes flashing. "It's nothing to you, Tonks. I'm going to lie down for awhile."

Tonks tightened her hold. "Once you tell me what's happening, you can sleep. Sirius – Kate's my friend and I care about her very much. You're my family; I love you and I hate to see you unhappy. Tell me what's happening; maybe I can help you."

Sirius shook his head. "You can't help me, but if you insist upon knowing what happened, I'll tell you. Here, sit down and I'll satisfy your curiosity." And, for the next ten minutes, Sirius did. When he was finished, he seemed unmoved by the tears the young Auror was clearing from her face.

Taking a shuddering breath, Tonks looked at him. "I'm very sorry, Sirius," she said softly. "I'm sorry that you've lost your child."

Sirius looked down at his clasped hands. "I can't lose something I never had, can I? I never knew about the baby until it … until after Kate miscarried."

Tonks looked at him critically. "But it was still your child, Sirius; your child with Kate. You love each other and you need to grieve this – together."

Sirius shook his head. "I'm not so sure that loving each other is enough for us anymore, Dora," he said, reverting to the nickname he used when she was a child.

"What do you mean?" Tonks sat back into the cushions and watched his profile as he looked at the fire.

"You're too…" he began, but was interrupted – loudly.

"Do not tell me that I'm 'too young', Sirius Black," she said, her hair momentarily changing from its customary pink to bright red. "I hear enough of that from your mate out there." Tonks tilted her head in the direction of the kitchen where Remus and the others were still seated. "Now, you tell me what's going through that addled brain of yours or I'll hex you where you sit!"

Sirius turned and gave her a sad smile. "You remind me of your mother more and more. Alright. Look, Kate and I have not had an easy time of it since she got back. We've had a couple of rows about things each of us have done wrong. You've seen this, yes?" Sirius paused to pull the promise ring from under his robes, allowing it to hang from its golden chain where it could be seen.

"That's Kate's promise ring," Tonks explained. "I knew she wasn't wearing it anymore, but I didn't figure it was my business to ask her about it. Why do you have it?"

Sirius sighed, fingering the ring. "When Kate and I resolved our last bad patch, she told me that perhaps it would be better if I wore it – like this – to remind me of the promises I made to her. I'm not getting into detail about those with you, but I will tell you that our biggest issue is trust. Trying to spare each other's feelings by withholding things or parts of things, you know…" he trailed off.

Tonks nodded and reached over to take his hand. "And you think that Kate betrayed your trust by not telling you about the baby." It wasn't a question.

Sirius nodded. "Yes, I do. Remus said that Kate had her reasons and he told me what some of them were when he told me about the miscarriage."

"I'm sure that she was trying to do what was best for everyone," Tonks said, and held up her hand to stop him when it appeared that Sirius was about to interrupt her. "Shut up, Sirius; I'm not finished yet. I don't think she did the best thing for you in this, but it's none of my business. It's none of Remus' business. He can share what Kate said to him, but no one can tell you what you want to know but Kate. I think you're making a big mistake coming to any kind of decision about your relationship until Kate wakes up and you talk with her; and Sirius – you have to talk with her. You can't disappear into Buckbeak's room with a couple of bottles of Firewhiskey this time, you know," she said, not unkindly.

"I haven't done anything like that in a very long time, Dora," Sirius said, quietly.

"I know that, cousin," she replied. "I just thought you could use the reminder. The healer thinks Kate could wake up soon."

Sirius looked at her. "I'm not sure what I'll do when she does, Dora."

Tonks leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. "You'll talk with her, just like always. You'll look into her eyes and you'll ask the questions you need answers to and if you fight as a result, then so be it. Fight it out. You know that you love her; it's just that everything that's happened lately has been so unexpected and it's shocked you a bit. Once you can look into her eyes and talk with Kate and not that still, silent patient in that bed over there, I'll bet that everything will work itself out." She picked her head up off his shoulder and placed a small kiss on his cheek.

Sirius turned his head and looked at her for several long moments. Finally, he gave her a small smile. "You know, you might not be 'too young' after all."

"Huh," Tonks snorted as she stood up and offered her hand to help him do the same. "Tell that to your friend out there," she said nodding again with her head.

Sirius took her hand and got to his feet. "Perhaps I will," he said. "But first, I think I've got a few things to sort out for myself." Instead of heading to his room, as he had originally intended to do when he left the kitchen, he took a step toward Kate's room. As he approached the doorway, Molly emerged.

"How is she?" Sirius asked.

"Much better," came the reply.

Sirius nodded and moved past Molly and over to the chair at the side of Kate's bed. "Would you say my 'good nights' to everyone?" he asked as he settled in.

"Of course," the Healer answered. "I'll check in on you later, child." With that, she left.

Sirius looked at Kate's face and saw what Molly meant when she said Kate was 'better'. Her color was much closer to its normal hue and her mouth looked less pinched than it had. Molly had previously told him that as Kate's body began to heal itself from the effects of the Cruciatus Curse, there would have been an improvement in the outward signs of the torture she had endured. Simultaneously, she would have become slowly more aware of her surroundings, finally awakening when the pain had been almost completely obliterated.

"I don't think I've ever spent so much time with you where I was the only one talking," Sirius said to her quietly. "I hate it, truth be told. There are too many things I want to know – too many I need to know. Remember the time before Christmas when we had that first falling out? You came into the kitchen and I tried to talk with you but you weren't having it. You told me that you were too angry and resentful of me to have any kind of a productive conversation. Merlin, I'd never seen you like that before. You were so angry with me because of the situation with Harry. You told me that I didn't have any right to reserve the role of Godparent for myself and deny it to you. It took me awhile to realize that it was more than letting Harry know who you were; I'd hurt you because I'd made the decision on my own, without you." Sirius took a deep breath and leaned down until he could lean his chin on the bed, close to her ear. "But, Katie," he said softly. "You've done the same thing to me. We made a baby together but you never told me. You decided that I shouldn't know and you kept it a secret from me. That wasn't fair and it really hurts. When you were so sick in the morning, you passed it off as a nervous stomach, but it was our child. And you never told me." He sat up and reached for the gold chain around his neck. "You know, Kate, you told me that our relationship would stand a better chance if I wore your promise ring to remind me of all that I'd sworn to do. You said that you'd never needed it to remember what you promised. It's helped me, Kate. It really has, but I don't think I need it any longer, either." He lifted the chain from around his neck and silently worked the catch so he could slide the ring off the chain. When he had done so, Sirius placed the chain on the table next to Kate's bed. He looked at the ring for awhile, swallowing several times before speaking again. "I don't know what's going to happen now, Kate. When you wake up, I suppose we'll talk and maybe we can straighten things out – again. I hope you can tell me why you can't trust me enough to tell me the truth about things – no, about the baby, I'll settle for that. Meanwhile, I'm going to give this back to you and we can figure out what it means later on. I don't have to wear it anymore because I've remembered everything I promised I would try to do and I like to think that I've lived up to those promises. But it didn't make any difference; we're still right back where we started the night you put this 'round my neck. I don't know how many times we can come back to this place and hope to sort it out before it just kills whatever we feel for each other. So, here, Katie-girl, you take it back. Whatever happens, I got it for you in the first place. If we decide to go on, maybe you can look at it and remember the night we stood at this crossroad; if we end it, maybe you can look at the ring and know that we tried as hard as we could but we just couldn't get it right." As Sirius finished speaking, he lifted her right hand and gently put the ring on her finger, bringing it to his lips and kissing the spot. As he laid her hand back on the blanket, he felt it. A slight pressure on his fingers, trying to squeeze his hand. Sirius' eyes snapped from Kate's hand, lying in his, to her face. Her eyes were still closed, but a single tear had slipped from the outer corner of her eye and slid down into her hairline.

Sirius brought his other hand to Kate's forehead, smoothing her hair back and watching her face intently. "Kate, can you hear me?" he whispered. The pressure on his fingers seemed to increase slightly. Turning his face away from Kate, Sirius took a breath and raised his voice slightly, calling, "Molly," sharply. "Molly, come here!"

"Child, what is …" Molly abandoned the question as she took in the scene before her. Sirius made to step to one side to allow Molly to work on Kate, but the Healer stopped him. "Keep talking to her, child." She stepped away to lower the gas lights and candles in the room.

Sirius nodded. "Kate, if you can hear me, open your eyes," he said quietly, returning the pressure on Kate's fingers. Sirius watched her eyelids flutter a bit. "That's it, Katie, open your eyes. Come on, you can do it." Another tear followed the path of the first and Kate's eyes began to slowly open. Opening them fully, Kate snapped them shut again. "Katie-girl, come on. Try again."

Kate heard him and slowly opened her eyes again, squeezing his fingers as she did so. The room was dim, but she could see Sirius' shape leaning toward her. She blinked rapidly and felt the warm wetness of her own tears as they slid from her eyes and into her ears. Even so, her vision slowly improved. Kate opened her mouth to speak but her tongue felt glued to the roof of her mouth. She heard a female voice say, "Here, help her take some of this," then a strong hand was behind her neck lifting her head slightly whilst a smooth tube was placed in her mouth and cool water squirted onto her tongue. She swallowed gratefully and was rewarded with more. A few moments later, she tried again.

Kate squeezed Sirius' hand and he leaned down toward her again. "What is it, Kate?" he whispered, brushing the tears away from her face. Kate tried to convey what she was feeling through her eyes which had not released his since they'd first opened.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, brokenly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry," she kept repeating the same phrase over and over as Sirius watched her. His lips moved, but there were no words. And, as they looked at each other, and Kate's litany continued, Sirius' tears began.


	51. Grief and Healing:  Mothers and Sons

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Kate continued to apologize, whilst squeezing Sirius' hand weakly. Sirius held onto her hand like a lifeline, head down, sobs wracking his body. After a time, he could take Kate's apologies no more and gently lifted her into his arms where she settled against his chest and, finally, with Sirius rocking her gently, Kate fell silent. Molly went into the Great Room, seating herself in a chair close to the doorway, ensuring she could immediately hear if she were needed.

Sirius continued to rock Kate gently back and forth as he cried the tears he had not shed since learning of her injuries. He didn't know how long they sat together, but he suddenly became aware that Kate was trying to move. Sirius loosened his hold and Kate carefully tilted her head up to look at his face. "There's so much I want to tell you, " she whispered, her eyes searching his. "I'm just … I'm so tired."

Sirius nodded and eased her back down onto her pillows. "You've been through so much," he whispered, bringing his hand up to gently wipe the tears from her cheeks. More than you even know, he thought sadly to himself.

When Sirius began to pull back, Kate protested, fresh tears standing in her eyes. "Don't leave me," she whispered. "I know you're angry and you don't know if you want to be with me any longer, but … I'm afraid if I sleep, you'll go and I won't have the chance …and I don't even know where we are, so I wouldn't know where to start looking for you and …" Kate stopped when Sirius brought his finger to rest gently against her lips.

"Shh," he moved his hand to smooth her hair back from her face. "I'm not going anywhere." He felt his eyes fill as he looked at her distraught face. "I'm not going anywhere," Sirius repeated, his voice cracking at the end. "You need to sleep, so close your eyes and rest. I promise that I'll be here when you wake up again. You're safe. We're both completely safe here." Sirius saw the question reemerge in her eyes. "We're at Hogwarts; we're in a hidden chamber of the hospital wing called 'The Annex'. We're safe, Katie. Rest, now." Kate's grip on his hand eased and her eyes began to close. "I'll be here. I promise."

As Sirius stopped speaking, Kate's eyes opened wide and she lifted the hand on which he'd placed his ring. "I know," she whispered, then closed her eyes and fell into a natural sleep for the first time in days. Sirius' vision blurred once again and he turned and walked into the Great Room.

Making his way to the sofa in front of the fire, Sirius never saw Molly sitting near the doorway. He dropped down onto the sofa and put his face in his hands. Merlin, why can't I seem to control this? It was as if someone has pulled a plug and the dam has burst. He felt the sofa dip beside him and he turned, half-expecting to see Kate, although the more rational side of his brain knew that wasn't possible. Instead, Molly was sitting facing him, with her arms open. Feeling the last bit of his control slip away, Sirius leaned into them and for the second time that day surrendered to the feelings coursing through him. Molly embraced the man beside her and just let him get it out of his system. She rubbed small circles on his back and rocked him as Sirius had done with Kate earlier in the evening. After about a half hour, Sirius straightened and cleared his face with the sleeve of his robes.

"I'm sorry," he croaked, his voice hoarse. "You've already got one patient; you certainly don't need a grown man falling apart on you as well."

"It's not about when I need," Molly replied taking his hand. "Perhaps it's about what you need."

Sirius shook his head. "I don't know what I need," he said. "I don't even know how to explain what I feel." He looked at Molly. "Maybe I just don't know what I feel anymore."

Molly squeezed his hand. "You are welcome to talk it out with me, you know."

"Sort of an objective third party, eh?" Sirius asked, sniffing a bit, but giving her a small smile.

Molly shook her head. "I'm not 'objective' at all, child. Make no mistake about that. Yes, I care very much about Kate and I want her to recover and be well. But you've been through a great deal in your lifetime as well; you've been robbed of so much time. Perhaps it's because you remind me a bit of my own son that I can sit here and tell you that I'm more inclined to take your part; and I'm willing to wager that you haven't heard that very often in your past."

Sirius looked at her, his face clearly showing his surprise. "No, I haven't – at least, not in a very long time."

"Don't mistake my lack of objectivity with any inability to tell you the truth. I can manage to take your side and still tell you the truth of a situation – even if it will be a tough truth to hear," Molly said, squeezing his hand.

"I hope your son appreciates you," Sirius said, sincerely.

Molly smiled sadly. "I think he did. Past tense. He was killed in the first war – one of the first victims of the newly formed Death Eaters. But, when he was alive, we were quite close. He was quite the rebel: bright, handsome, with a good sense of fun - and he had quite a way with the witches." Her eyes sparkled at the memory. "He was a good boy who fought for what – and who – he believed in." She paused. "Like you."

"He wasn't just like me, though," Sirius whispered. "He had you. He had a family who loved him and supported him. I never had that."

"You have Kate, Remus and Tonks who love you," Molly said softly.

"Yes. They are my family now," Sirius agreed. "Back when I was a boy, however, Remus, James Potter and - well, we'll just stop the list there – they were my family at school, but on end of term holidays, I had to return to my family's home in London. It was a nightmare come to life. My parents – pureblood fanatics – were horrified that I was sorted into Gryffindor and made the holidays miserable. I finally ran away when I was 16. I stayed with James' family; I was always welcome there and it really felt like home to me – at least what I imagined 'home' would feel like."

"They became your family, too."

Sirius nodded. "Very much so."

"And then after Hogwarts, you became an Auror," Molly prompted; armed with the information she had received from Albus when she had asked for a bit of Sirius' history. Albus had sensed her sincere affection for the man and had gladly told her Sirius' story. If Molly truly cared for Sirius, perhaps they could each give the other something that was very much needed.

Sirius smiled. "I did. For 2 years, we fought against Voldemort, but then it all went wrong. James and Lily were killed. Harry, my Godson, was sent to live with his Muggle aunt and uncle in Surrey. I was arrested and sent to Azkaban for crimes I didn't commit." He looked over at Molly. "Aren't you glad you asked?"

Molly squeezed his hand. "Will you tell me about Kate?"

Sirius caught his breath. "It hurts," he said quietly, surprising himself by his admission.

"I know, child, but perhaps that will ease a bit if you talk about it."

Sirius was quiet for a time, then sighed and began. "You know quite a bit about us already. We've been together since school and have been through so much – good and bad. She was there when I was arrested. The last time I saw her face, she was horrified and thought I'd been responsible for James' and Lily's deaths. She went to America because the Ministry made her life here miserable, just because we were together before my arrest. I ruined her life without meaning to, I suppose. That was the first time trust became a real issue for us," Sirius responded.

"If that's true, I would suggest that your life was ruined at that time as well – also beyond your control," Molly observed. "And trust was a rare commodity back then – for everyone. I remember."

"Agreed. But, Molly, I had something to do with my own destiny," Sirius corrected. "I convinced the Potters to use Pettigrew as their Secret-keeper. I knew Voldemort would come after me; I was the obvious choice. I was so worried that I'd give them up under torture. I figured that no one would suspect Peter. I trusted him with such precious lives," he growled. Molly squeezed his hand gently and he brought himself under control after several deep breaths.

"But, Sirius, you didn't know that this other man, Pettigrew, would betray you and your friends. If you had, you never would have suggested him. You know that," Molly stressed that point to him and he finally nodded.

"I know all of that, Molly, but there will always be a piece of me that feels responsible for their deaths," Sirius was solemn as he quietly acknowledged this.

"Kate came back," she said, anxious for him to begin talking again.

"That she did, Molly. But we had our issues. She's Harry Potter's Godmother, you know, but I didn't want him told straight away. That decision hurt her and when she worked out why I didn't want him to know, she was really angry with me. You see, most people shelter Harry from reality for a variety of reasons. Some do it because they think he's got enough to deal with and others do it for control. I chose not to tell him about Kate – and made her promise not to say anything – because I didn't want him to think that I'd not told him something so important long before. She figured out that I also thought that if Harry was my sole responsibility and I took care of him well enough, I could make up for my mistake to James and Lily," Sirius took a deep breath. "She's pretty bright, Kate is. She worked it all out." He glanced over at Molly and then continued. "Harry had already begun to figure it out for himself over Christmas and, well, Kate and I had a falling out over the fact that she told him."

"Despite the fact she'd promised not to?" Molly asked.

"Yeah, but it turned out that there was a good reason for it. If she hadn't done it when she did, I would have had a very emotional moment in front of Harry that could have been pretty damaging," Sirius admitted, surprised at how easily he was able to say it aloud. "We had such a hard time then – over that and other things, as well. I'd given her a promise ring for Christmas; it had a different meaning to it than the traditional one. I gave it to her so she would remember that I had promised to work on … well, on things that I needed to work on. I thought that at times I'd really mucked it up, she could look at the ring and remember that I was trying. After that last blow up, she gave it back to me on a gold chain and said that she wasn't giving it back to me forever – that it was hers and one day she hoped to wear it properly. For now, she suggested that it might help for me to wear it instead, so that I could remember my promises." He stopped and gave a short, humorless laugh. " Kate told me that she never forgot what I'd promised her – or her promises to me - and that she didn't need the ring as a reminder."

Molly looked at his neck. "But you're not wearing it anymore."

Almost unconsciously, Sirius' hand went to the spot on his chest where the ring had hung. He shook his head. "No. I gave it back to Kate tonight. I put it on her finger just before she awakened." He felt his throat tighten and his vision blurred. "I told her that if we fixed things between us then she could look at the ring and remember what we'd faced during this time and that we'd sorted it out. If we didn't fix things and finally walked away from each other, then she would always know that we tried our hardest but, in the end, we just couldn't get it right." Sirius stopped speaking and rose, walking toward the hearth. After awhile, he spoke again. "It's the baby, Molly. We promised each other that we wouldn't keep things secret again; this was a big secret to keep, no matter what the reason," he said.

"I agree with you," Molly said, simply. "It was a huge secret for her to keep from you. It's completely understandable that you no longer love her; how can you, after all?"

Sirius had been looking into the fire absently, but was brought up sharply at her words. "I didn't say that I didn't love her, Molly."

"Child, I have a confession to make. I overheard you talking to Kate yesterday," Molly said. "I heard your voice and automatically went into the room thinking Kate had awakened. Please forgive me. I didn't want to intrude or interrupt you so …"

Sirius shook his head. "It's alright, Molly. I understand and I don't mind."

"The fact is that I heard you say that you didn't feel the love you knew you had for her. I heard you say that perhaps love wasn't enough," Molly told him.

Sirius put his head down. "Perhaps it isn't. If we loved each other so much, wouldn't it be? Why do we keep coming together only to fall apart again? There's just no trust and I don't think I can keep this up much longer."

"I don't know the answers, child. I do know, however, that love is worth any fight, any sacrifice. Don't you think Kate paid a price for not telling you about the baby? I'm not saying that she made the right decision, but I don't for a minute believe that she made her choice based on what she thought would hurt you the most. She was wrong in trying to protect you, based on your promises to each other; that I will agree with, but, Sirius, think - do you want to throw away everything you've been fighting for; everything you had before Azkaban and could finally have again?" Molly's voice was impassioned.

"I thought you were on my side," Sirius commented wryly, returning to the sofa and sitting down heavily.

"My dear child, I am on your side – more than you know. In my lifetime, I have seen so many people throw away happiness with both hands so they could hang onto misplaced pride. You and Kate have worked through so much of what's been stacked against you. The fact of the broken promise flies in the face of your trust for her; the reason behind the broken promise only serves to reinforce how much she loves you – and how wrong it would be to turn away from that love without digging in and fighting the rest of the way." Molly stopped speaking and reached for Sirius' hands again, squeezing them until he looked at her. "Sirius, we are fighting for our very lives against an unspeakable evil. How can we win if we cannot find the courage to fight for each other first?"

They sat there, eyes locked on one another for several moments, the crackling of the fire the only sound in the room. Both looked as they felt – emotionally and physically exhausted.

"Kate's fought for me," Sirius whispered finally. "…every time she's let me back in, given me another chance, that's been why."

"As you have for her," Molly said quietly.

Sirius nodded. "Yes, but not as often," he smiled tiredly. "We have a lot to work out, Katie and I, but she's worth fighting for." He looked at the Healer and his expression suddenly changed to one of great gentleness. "You're pretty courageous, yourself," he said. "You were willing to fight for me, knowing that I would also be your opponent in the battle. That took some nerve. Your son was very lucky; he had a very good mother. I find myself quite envious of him."

Molly's eyes filled as she thought of her son, lost so very long ago and of this wizard before her, who had never really had a mother who loved him enough to fight for him. She returned his smile. "Well, child, perhaps you're not too old to need a little mothering to keep you on the straighter path. Now that I have a little experience, perhaps I can help you there."

Sirius' eyes widened and his smile grew bigger. He leaned forward and hugged her tightly, feeling her arms go round him as well. "How could I refuse such an honor?" he murmured, then pulled away a bit to look at her. "Besides, you already like my girlfriend; how many sons can say they have that behind them?" Molly smiled broadly and hugged him tightly one more time before releasing him and standing. "Who would have believed that Kate's first visit to hospital would have led to this?" she mused.

At the mention of Kate's name, coupled with the hospital, Sirius' smile fled. "Molly, she doesn't know about the miscarriage," he said. "She'll have to be told."

Molly nodded. "Yes, child, she will. The right time will present itself; it always does."

"I need to go back to her," Sirius said, rising as well. "I promised I'd be there when she wakes up."

Molly headed into Kate's room ahead of him. "On one condition. I'll conjure a bed for you – next to hers – so you can get some sleep, as well. You've gotten precious little rest and you can't afford to be getting sick," Molly's voice was firm and Sirius suspected that he needed to give over to her and he did.

Molly conjured a second bed, setting it down so there was no space between it and the one on which Kate rested. Once she checked on Kate and pronounced her 'fine', Molly patted Sirius' cheek, wished him a good night and left the room.

Sirius removed his outer robes and tugged off his boots and socks, slipping under the blanket still in trousers and turtleneck. Settling on his side, facing Kate's profile, Sirius reached for Kate's hand. Holding it gently in his own, he watched her until his eyelids grew too heavy to continue and with her image in his mind, he finally slept.


	52. Grief and Confrontations

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

As Kate awakened the following morning, she was immediately aware of two things: the ease with which her eyes opened on the day and the pressing warmth against her side. Turning her head, she saw the source of the warmth: Sirius was lying next to her, his body half on an adjoining bed and half on Kate's, his hand loosely curled around her own. 'I will be here when you wake up. I promise.' His words echoed through Kate's mind and she squeezed his fingers gently. His response was immediate and she was suddenly looking into his blue eyes.

"Good morning," he croaked, blinking the sleep from his eyes.

"Good morning," she responded, watching his face cautiously.

"How are you feeling?" Sirius propped himself up on one elbow to look at her.

"Ok. Not as tired, I think," Kate said quietly. She stretched and wiggled her toes and fingers. She smiled softly. "No pain."

Sirius exhaled in relief. "Good. Finally," he captured her hand again. "Do you want me to call Molly?"

Kate's brows drew together in confusion. "Molly Weasley is here?"

Sirius shook his head. "No. Sorry. I meant Molly Selkirk. She's been here since they brought you in a few days ago."

Kate turned her face away from him and looked up at the ceiling. "You know," she said, her voice almost too small to be heard. But Sirius had heard. He took her chin in his hand and gently turned her face back to him. "Yes," he said, simply.

Tears sprang to Kate's eyes but she did not look away this time. "We need to talk."

Sirius swallowed audibly. "I'll have Molly look at you first. If she thinks you're strong enough, then we'll talk, yes?"

Kate nodded. Sirius squeezed her hand gently and sat up. Throwing the blanket completely off, he quickly slipped on his socks and boots and, with a last smile at Kate, he left the room.

Entering the kitchen, Sirius was unsurprised to see Molly pouring coffee and, when she saw him enter, she automatically summoned a second mug for him.

"Good morning, child," Molly said, handing him his coffee. "You appear to have gotten some rest, after all."

Sirius took a healthy mouthful of the steaming brew and nodded. "I did. Molly, Kate's awake." He paused. "I asked her if she wanted to see you and she's realized that I must know about the pregnancy. She wants to talk about it, but I don't want to do it if she's not strong enough, especially…" Sirius stopped as he felt his emotions begin to rise.

"Sirius, you know that she will probably ask me if what happened to her hurt the baby," Molly said quietly. At his nod, she continued. "It would not be unusual for a healer to give that news to their patient, you know. I would be quite willing to do that, but you need to tell me if that is something you want me to do and whether or not you wish to be there."

Sirius was silent as he considered her words. "I think it would give her the answer if she asked that question and you left the room to get me before you answered. No, I think that it's better for Kate if you just let things happen and give her honest answers if she asks you. My part will come when you've finished, I think," he finished.

Molly patted his arm and left the kitchen to see her patient.

XXXXXXXX

Molly entered Kate's room and her delight at seeing her awake was more than obvious. "Good morning, my dear," she greeted her. "This makes a nice change," she added. "I've missed seeing those lovely eyes of yours."

Kate smiled. "Thank you. I've missed seeing you as well. Actually, I think I've missed seeing everyone."

Molly smiled. "I'd like to examine you if I might," she said. "Just relax and this won't take long." Molly withdrew the familiar pen and parchment, setting them up on the bedside table then, withdrawing her wand from her pocket, she began to run the diagnostic spells that would evaluate Kate's condition and the progress she was making healing from her injuries. As the typical diagnostic arcs formed and circled Kate, Molly felt her heart clutch as she saw Kate bring her hand to rest protectively on her abdomen.

Molly dutifully continued the evaluation process and, at its conclusion, she smiled at Kate, conjured a privacy screen to surround the bed then folded back the sheet to examine her physically. Her shoulder bruise was in full color, something Kate had noted when Molly removed the sheet. She'll realize I left it to heal on its own because of the baby and the curse damage, Molly thought. She's clever, this one; that won't have slipped by her. Molly pressed gently on several points of Kate's abdomen, checking for tenderness and was relieved to find that there was only one spot that drew a slight wince from the woman. Her ankle was much better. Bringing the physical examination to a close, Molly conjured a set of hospital robes and helped Kate into them. Once she was settled, Molly flicked her wand and Kate's bed shifted to elevate her upper body into a slightly raised position and was rewarded with a relieved smile from her patient.

"Let me just review the parchment, dear, so I can see how you're progressing," Molly said, removing the parchment and pen to a desk on the other side of the room for review.

As she checked the notes on the parchment, Molly was gratified to see marked improvement in the young woman's condition. Her energy levels were approaching a more normal point and the curse damage to her nervous system and muscles were also dramatically improved. As Molly's eyes scanned the remainder of the page, she noted that Kate's system was also moving in the right direction after her miscarriage.

"Will I live?" Kate's quiet voice came from the other side of the room, a half-serious smile on her face.

Molly turned and walked back to Kate, perching on the side of the bed to speak with her. "Yes, my dear, you will most definitely live," Molly assured her, watching Kate's face.

Kate returned her gaze, anxiety now very apparent on her face. "Neither of us is talking about the obvious, so I'll brave the question." She drew a deep breath. "What about the baby?"

Molly reached for Kate's hand and felt the woman's fingers close tightly around hers. "Kate, I'm so sorry," Molly said softly. "The effects of the repeated Cruciatus curse were too much for a first-trimester pregnancy to withstand. You miscarried the following morning."

Hot tears slipped down Kate's cheeks; both women were silent as her initial emotions were released. When she could bring herself to speak, Kate said, "It wasn't 'a first-trimester pregnancy' that died. It was a baby – my baby." She looked up at Molly. "You offered to tell me the sex of the baby when you confirmed my pregnancy. Would you please tell me now?"

Molly squeezed her fingers gently and sighed. "It was a boy."

Kate nodded and, after a few moments, gently removed her hand from the Healer's and wiped her face. Molly watched as the young woman closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. A short time later, Kate opened her eyes and the Healer was surprised at the level of her composure. She was dismayed, however, by the look of hopelessness and finality in Kate's eyes as well as her voice when she finally spoke. "Thank you for telling me and for taking care of me. I know that Sirius is aware of the pregnancy; does he also know that the baby died?"

Molly nodded slowly. "He does. He's very concerned about you, my dear."

Kate looked at the other woman levelly. "I'm sure that he is. I'm equally sure that he sees this as a betrayal of trust. I heard some of what he said when he was sitting with me over the last couple of days. I kept the pregnancy from him and I participated in a dangerous mission that ultimately killed his son. We've had trust issues over less than this, Molly. I can't imagine that Sirius will be willing to move forward from this one."

"Kate, you're just projecting what's happened in the past onto your current situation. You've no proof that Sirius feels that way –," Molly began, but stopped speaking when she saw Kate extend her right hand for Molly to see. The promise ring shone on her finger.

"This has been around Sirius' neck since just after Christmas. We had agreed that he would wear it that way to remind him of … well, promises he'd made that he tended to lose sight of when agitated." Kate paused, blinking rapidly. "If I have it on my finger now, it must be because he no longer feels the need to remember those promises."

"Listen, Kate," Molly said, her voice stern. "You are second-guessing a man who hasn't even had the chance to speak with you. What you may or may not have heard him say to you while you were drifting in and out of consciousness has little relevance until you hear Sirius say those words to your face now that you're awake."

Kate looked at Molly curiously. "You sound as if you know Sirius quite well," she observed.

Molly nodded and took her hand again. "I have spent much time with him since we came here. As I shared with Sirius, he reminds me a great deal of a boy I once knew – my son, who was killed in the first War with Voldemort. I've listened to his heartbreak in his fear for you and, yes, in his hurt that you did not tell him about your pregnancy. But there is something I heard in his voice again and again and that was the depth of his love for you. And that is a rare thing in this world."

Kate considered the Healer's words as she began to cry softly again. "Molly, do you know the one thing that Sirius used to say to me the most?" As the other woman shook her head, Kate said, "'I love you'. Sirius used to tell me he loved me countless times each day and each and every time he said the words, I could see the emotion in his eyes, hear it in his voice." Kate paused again, using her sleeve to wipe her cheeks. "I have not heard those words from him at all – in the one-sided conversations at night or since I awakened. Not once. I think I may have finally lost him and the fact that I'm wearing this ring seems to prove it."

"Kate, he's waiting to see you and I promised that I would fetch him once I'd finished with your examination. Before you make any decisions, talk with him," Molly said. "I implore you, Kate, do not dismiss this man out of hand. You've got too much history together to push him away."

Kate looked away from the Healer and did not respond. Molly released her hand, rose from the bed and left the room in search of Sirius. She didn't need to look far; the anxious wizard was pacing in front of the fireplace in the Great Room. When Molly emerged from Kate's room, he immediately went up to her.

"That took much longer than I thought it would," he said. "Is there more damage? Has something more gone wrong?" Sirius' blue eyes searched her face.

Molly shook her head. "No, not physically. I did have to tell her about the miscarriage, however and, understandably, she is not taking it well. Her emotions are dictating her thoughts and she's convinced that she's not only lost the baby, but you as well."

With a quick nod, Sirius headed toward the doorway.

XXXXXXXX

Kate was staring out the window when Sirius walked in. He caught his breath at the look of utter sadness on her face.

"Kate," he spoke softly as he approached her bed.

"It's really snowing," she replied, turning from the window to look at him.

"Late winter storm," Sirius said, sitting on the bed in the space recently vacated by Molly. "They're always fierce here."

"Mmm," was the reply.

"Talk to me," Sirius whispered, taking her hand in both of his and holding it tightly.

Kate's eyes filled. "I don't know how." She wriggled free from his grasp and put both hands over her face, weeping silently. Sirius stood up and pointed his wand at the bed, watching as it widened, silently. He removed his outer robes, his boots and socks and slid under the covers. Kate felt the movement of the bed and turned in his direction.

"Like always, Katie. Just talk to me," he said again, lying on his side and leaning against the pillows to face her. "Here, turn over so I can see all of your face, yeah?"

Kate slowly adjusted her position and they were soon lying facing each other. "Where do I start?" she murmured.

Sirius took her hand. "How about from the beginning?"

Kate closed her eyes, tears sliding down her face.

"Shh," Sirius squeezed her fingers. "Katie, why didn't you tell me?"

Kate took a deep breath. "I just … I couldn't. All I could picture was your face, asking me how we could have a child when you weren't free, when you were stuck in Grimmauld Place, when you weren't whole, when we were at war. I saw you losing all the ground you'd gained, worrying about the future, worrying about me every single time I wasn't with you. I knew you'd be miserable. I thought that maybe with this Mission – and so many Death Eaters – so close to Voldemort – we'd see Peter or hear about him. If we could even get close enough to learn where he was…even better, close enough to capture him, turn him in to the Ministry you'd be free and …"

"…and we'd live happily ever after, yeah?" Sirius finished. "Why didn't you consider that maybe it would have made me happy to know that you were having my child? That it might have given me something to hang onto, to hope for, to look forward to? Why did you automatically think I'd go off the deep end? Do you think any progress I've made is so easily lost in the face of trouble? Do you think I'm only better for a while, until the next thing happens, and then I regress back to Azkaban? That's a pretty hopeless view of me, Kate."

"We were already working on so much in our relationship; I didn't want to add more stress to it," Kate said. "I didn't want you to have more to think and worry about unless you had to."

"But that wasn't your choice to make, Kate. That's what we fought over just before the New Year, when you gave me the ring back to help me remember what I promised you. We said we would tell each other the truth, that we wouldn't keep things from each other…" Sirius fought to keep his voice level as his anger and frustration rose.

"…this was different," Kate interjected, sitting upright.

Sirius did the same. "Why?! Because it was your secret? Your decision?"

"Because I thought I had more time! Time to catch Pettigrew and clear your name. Time to figure out what we were going to be to each other. Because it happened in the middle of so many other things that had to be dealt with." Kate stopped to catch her breath. "Because I felt responsible for it happening in the first place. Because the timing was horrid and I needed to figure out when and how to tell you and I couldn't even find the time to sit down and think about it all. Because I thought I was protecting you from more pressure and more stress."

"It wasn't your secret to keep," Sirius spat. "That was my child, too."

Kate was silent, staring down at her hands, trying to bring her breathing under control.

"It was my child," Sirius said again, quietly. "And I had a right to know about it."

"I know you did, Sirius; I know that. And, for what it's worth to you, I struggled with the decision not to tell you. Even as early as that night that Tonks came to dinner and I fell asleep on all of you in the library, I wanted to tell you. I just thought … well, you know what I 'just thought', don't you? Anyway, none of it matters anymore. There is no child any longer – and that's my fault, too. I thought I was so clever. Using powdered Hellebore to render me invisible. I guess I missed the part about pregnancy shortening the efficacy of that herb," Kate said, bitterly. "Ironic, really. That herb, combined with my own stupidity, effectively shortened the pregnancy, didn't it?"

"Lucius Malfoy is responsible for what happened to you," Sirius said. "The baby died as a result of the Cruciatus. Whether or not you reappeared, he would have seen the point from which the spells and curses were being sent; he could have cast successfully once he had done so. You're an Auror; you know that."

"I shouldn't have gone. I should have told Kingsley to have someone else take the potion, someone else operate covertly – Tonks, anyone. I should have stayed behind," Kate said.

"You can't change that, now. It's done. It's over," Sirius responded, sadly.

Kate's eye caught the Promise ring on her finger. "As we are," she said.

Sirius' head snapped up at her words. He reached across the space between them and took her hands, stopping her from removing the ring. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Even if we love each other still, it's obviously not enough. I heard the things you've said when you've been sitting here – well, some of the things, anyway. We have such short times when we're happy with each other and the rest of the time we just cause each other pain. Maybe you're right, there's something about us that prevents us from trusting completely – there must be. Maybe all the things that have happened before – all the suspicion in the first War, our differences over Harry, suspicions about fidelity – maybe they were all warning signs. Maybe we've always been fighting for something that isn't right, ignoring the signs and pushing forward. Maybe this – losing the baby – happened because we needed to finally realize that we're just never going to have anything healthy or normal together," Kate said wearily, trying to tug her hands free of his. Sirius tightened his grip and his eyes bore into hers.

"Is that what you believe, Kate?" he demanded.

"Doesn't matter," she said wearily. "You believe it and even though this time it's all my fault, it doesn't take away from the fact that we've ended up in the same spot once again. You put this ring back on my finger. You said …"

"So, you're going to base our entire future on things you overheard while you were quasi-conscious, is that it?" Sirius dug in, preparing for the fight of his life – of both their lives. "Because if you are, then I think I should get a weigh-in on the whole outcome, don't you?" When Kate said nothing, Sirius released her, rose and, barefoot, began walking slowly around the foot of the enlarged bed, arriving at the chair where he had spent so much time over the past few days. He pulled the chair closer to Kate's side of the bed and perched on the edge of the seat. "Now, you seem to have taken responsibility for deciding how I feel – or how I would feel about all manner of situations that occur in my life. You don't trust me to handle those situations and emotions on my own. Some of that opinion would be justified if you only looked at how I've behaved in the weeks leading up to the New Year. I was definitely more unpredictable and volatile at that time. I've been pretty bloody good since then, though, but apparently, that doesn't count for much; that's a truly temporary improvement: poor, mad Sirius will certainly go back to his uneven ways sooner or later. We can't trust him to stay sane." He paused for breath.

"Stop it," Kate whispered, her gaze firmly fixed on her hand.

"We go through all of this shite together, trying to re-learn each other and how to behave and how to have a relationship again. We actually started to figure it all out. Oh, yeah – we made mistakes – a bloody load of them. We shed more tears, caused more pain, slammed more doors and yelled ourselves hoarse over things that shouldn't have happened. We got through that all right, though, didn't we? We loved each other enough to work through it. We fought like cats through some of it, but it was important to us to do that. Somehow, even though we were pissed as hell at each other, we knew we were worth hanging onto. And then, we made a baby together, Kate. A baby. But you decided that I couldn't know about it. Ok. We've gone there. I was mad as hell at you for not telling me. For not trusting me enough to tell me; and yes – I rambled on and on, sitting right in this chair, saying everything that came to my mind. I don't even remember some of it, truth be told. But I do remember telling you how much it hurt me that you decided I shouldn't know about our child. And it did – it does. I remember saying that love must mean different things to both of us. I think that's true. For me, I can be so angry with you I can't see straight and I can still love you more than anything else in my life. Apparently, you don't think that's possible. And I remember saying that I wondered if loving each other was enough any more." Sirius nodded his head. "Yeah, I do remember that. Know why? Because I've actually said those words to other people. To Tonks. To Molly. To Remus. Know what they said? They told me that I was foolish to walk away from you. Molly said that she could see how much I loved you every time I sat next to you – or talked about you – or said all of those things that you only heard pieces of. Those things that make you think we should be "over" and "done with". I've got to ask myself, if this woman who doesn't really know either one of us can see that I love you – why can't you? And why is it easier for you to believe things you half-heard than the things I'm saying to you now?" Sirius began picking at a loose thread in the blanket. "Look, we created – and lost – a child together, Kate. I'm as responsible for that life as you are and I am as heartbroken about its loss. But instead of grieving this child together, you're telling me that I'm also losing you. And I'm losing you because – again – you're assuming my feelings. You think that I don't want you anymore. Because of things you heard. Because of a piece of jewelry that has, quite frankly, become more trouble than blessing." Sirius reached over and withdrew the ring from Kate's finger. "You want to get rid of this so badly? Fine. I'll make that happen for you." And with that, he placed the ring in the palm of his hand, withdrew his wand and murmured an incantation. The ring vanished. He took a deep breath and softly asked.

"Your call. Do you want me to disappear just as completely? If you honestly think that we have no love left between us – or that what we do have isn't enough to build a life together – I'll go back to Grimmauld Place. I'll move my things out of your room. Hell, I'll even pack up your room for you so you won't have to stay at Headquarters anymore. I'll bring you copies of the Daily Prophet so you can look for a flat; you were doing that before you moved in with Remus and me anyway." Sirius felt his breath hitch in his chest. He looked at Kate and saw her color rise. "Look at me," he whispered, his throat constricting. When Kate didn't move, he got up and sat in front of her on the bed. "Look at me," he repeated, putting his hand under her chin and gently lifting her face. "You tell me what you want – not what you think is best for me. If you don't want to be with me any longer, you tell me – now. I'm not going to guess and I'm not going to make the decision for you. If we're not important enough to fight for any longer, tell me so. If this child was the last straw for you and you don't think we can move away from this, say it. You won't see me again. I'll leave straight away and go back to Grimmauld Place. When Molly releases you, you can stay with Tonks or Kingsley's family or perhaps Tonks and Remus can find a flat for you and you can just move in there. I can't leave Headquarters, so there's no chance we'll bump into each other." Kate started to cry but didn't look away from him. "Tell me, Katie. Say the words. I love you so much that I'll give you what you want if it makes you happy. I'm tired of giving speeches, Kate; they don't seem to do a damned bit of good anyway. I'm done." With that, he lowered his hand to his lap and waited.

Kate watched his face. She knew he meant every word he had said to her. He'd let her go if she wanted him to. He'd let her walk out of his life if that's what she wanted from him. Kate closed her eyes. She was usually the one who calmly laid out how she felt; she was the one who generally put the choices on the table for Sirius to react to them. He was the one with the emotional response to everything – a knee-jerk reaction to things that frightened him or threatened him or those he loved. He was frightened, that she knew – and so was she. Terribly. She knew she'd been wrong about the baby, but she thought she knew what was best for him. She hadn't. She also thought she'd lost him, yet apparently, she was wrong again. He was willing to fight for them both. Maybe she didn't know everything she thought she did. She pictured living alone, with no contact with Sirius, no relationship with him, and images of her life in Washington flashed through her mind. She had felt more alone than she could ever remember. Even though she had thought he'd betrayed them all, she had still loved him – and that love had been enough for her to come back to England, to accompany Remus to Grimmauld Place that chilly September afternoon.

Kate opened her eyes and found Sirius staring back at her, anxiety showing in his eyes, but his face resolute. She took a breath.

"Don't go," she whispered.


	53. Healing

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

"Don't go," she whispered

"Say it again," he whispered back, not quite able to believe he'd heard her properly.

Kate took a deep breath. "Don't go," she repeated. "Stay. Don't leave me. I don't want to be anywhere else but with you. I want to re-earn your trust, your forgiveness. I want to prove to you that I believe you're – we're – worth fighting for. I love you, Sirius, I truly do…"

She was interrupted by a strangled cry as Sirius finally let down his guard and reached out for her. Kate moved into his lap and was immediately encircled by his arms. For the second time in two days, their emotions overtook them and they clung to each other and wept. They didn't know how long they stayed like that. They never knew that Molly had become concerned by the cessation of their voices and peeped quietly round the doorway to make certain they were all right. Similarly, they never knew that a silencing charm was cast and the door closed to ensure their privacy when Remus and Tonks, then Kingsley, came by to see how Kate was doing. All they knew as they sat there together, in those long moments that stretched into a solid hour, was that they had survived what they knew could have easily been the definitive blow to their relationship. What they didn't know was how that survival would evolve and, truth be told, at this moment they really didn't care. For now, they just wanted to be: alone, together, wrapped in the warmth and security of this cocoon – this safe haven away from the darkness – to hold each other, to talk quietly, to sleep, to begin to reestablish themselves, whatever that ultimately came to be.

"Do you mean it?" Sirius whispered against Kate's ear, his nose nuzzling her hair.

"Do I mean what?" she asked against his shoulder.

"That you don't want to be anywhere else but with me?" He stopped, bringing himself a bit more under control. "That you still love me?"

Kate pulled back so she could see him. His face finally showed the strain of the past few days now that he'd allowed his emotions to surface; his beautiful eyes were red rimmed and swollen, his bottom lip red and puffy where his teeth had worried it. Kate still thought him the most beautiful man she'd ever seen. She brought her hand from his shoulder and gently cleared the tears from his cheeks. "Yes, Sirius. I meant everything. I don't want to be anywhere that you are not; I love you so much."

Sirius pulled her back so he could hold her close to him again. "I was so afraid that this was the end of us, Katie-girl," he whispered. "I've never seen you like that – so ready to give up. I knew I was going to have to put up the fight of my life to keep you. I was afraid that it wouldn't make any difference to you."

"How could it not have?" Kate said to him softly. "I was so certain that it was the end and that I had only myself to blame. Nothing that's come between us in the past has even come close to this and I knew that I was to blame. I could not imagine that you could possibly forgive me." She began to thread her fingers through his hair, smoothing and stroking the long, black strands. "Sirius, can you forgive me?" She sat back again, needing to see his face when he answered.

He regarded her quietly for a few moments. "For not telling me about the baby, you mean?" At her nod, he continued, "Yes, I do forgive you. Honestly, I do. As angry as I was, I know that you weren't trying to hurt me intentionally. I know that you were trying to make the best decision for everyone involved." Sirius paused, cupping her cheek in his palm. "It just can't happen again, Katie. I'm never going to be perfect and I'm far from healed. But, I'm not broken anymore, Kate. I may have a long way to go, but you've got to just let me make my own choices and have the experiences that I'm supposed to have. I'm not a child; I can make my own decisions. And if I get pissed off and rant and rave, then so be it! I'll get over it a great deal faster and we won't get hurt in the process."

Kate caught his wrist then turned her head to press her lips against his palm. "I promise you that I will never keep anything from you again. I know I've said that before and that talk is cheap, but…"

Sirius interrupted her. "I've forgiven you, just as you've forgiven me for so many things over the past few months. We'll still butt heads," he smiled softly. "We've always done that. But maybe now we won't be so afraid of what might happen afterward."

Kate nodded, running her hand gently over his arm, lost in thought.

"Hey," Sirius whispered a few moments later. "What are you thinking about?"

Kate looked at him. "I miss you," she said.

Sirius' brows drew together in confusion. "I'm right here, Katie-girl."

She shook her head. "No. I know that. I just … I feel so empty, so off kilter somehow. It's … I think it's all the time I've been away from you – this Mission. I know it sounds odd, but…"Kate took a breath but couldn't control her emotions. "I carried this piece of you with me so even if … I wasn't … with …"

Sirius pulled her into his arms again, feeling his own emotions surge. "And it's not there any longer," he whispered through a throat that was impossibly tight.

He felt Kate nod against his neck. "And … it felt like you were gone…"

They didn't speak for quite some time. Eventually, Sirius cleared his throat. "Molly said that you and I would need to grieve this child … together. You might have felt like I was gone because, of the two of us, you, alone knew of the pregnancy. You grieved for us both, perhaps?"

"Sirius, I'm so sorry for that. So sorry that I didn't tell you right away," Kate sat up and faced him again. "That was so wrong of me. Molly told me this morning that the baby was a boy. That baby – our son – was yours, as well. You deserved to know about him from the beginning. I'm just so sorry," she finished.

"Shh," Sirius stroked her hair away from her face. "You've said 'sorry' and I know that you are." He stopped, remembering something from an earlier conversation he'd had with Molly. "Molly told me that she believes that everything happens for a reason. Maybe this wasn't the time for us to have this child. Maybe our world has to finish what we're facing before we bring more lives into it. Maybe we'll have our chance later on, when Voldemort's defeated for good and all."

"I want to have children with you, Sirius," Kate said to him. "You're the only person I can ever envision loving that much."

Sirius' stared at her as he considered what she had said and then he smiled softly. "When you miscarried, Remus came to tell me. Merlin, poor Mooney looked as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Of course, he first had to tell me that you were pregnant and in those few moments before he told me the rest of what had happened, my first reaction was such joy. It was quickly followed by anger, then sadness, but I'll never forget how purely happy I was in that second after he'd told me you were pregnant. I want to feel that again. Katie, I want to have children with you. I've never wanted to be with anyone else – not since the day I met you, even through everything we've faced – it's always been you. Always. I love you so much, Kate; so much."

Kate closed her eyes and smiled, feeling genuine warmth, relief and happiness course through her. "Say it again," she whispered, echoing his words from hours before.

"I love you," he whispered back and watched her smile grow wider.

Kate opened her eyes and met his gaze. "Kiss me," she said softly, her hand on the back of his neck, gently urging him closer. He needed absolutely no such urging.

"Happily," he said and his lips found hers.

Strength, warmth, protection, love coursed through them both as they deepened the kiss – their first in so many days. When the need for air forced them apart, they embraced again and just sat where they were.

"Hey, you haven't eaten, you must be starving," Sirius said quietly, but received no response. "Kate?" he called softly, but all she did was shift in his arms, burrowing her face closer to the side of his neck. He smiled and moved her gently back to lie against her pillows. Sirius kissed her cheek softly then swung his legs over the side of the bed, pausing to allow the pins and needles to work themselves out before attempting to stand. Once that had been sorted, Sirius made his way to the sink in the corner of the room and splashed water over his face, soaking a flannel and placing the cold cloth over his eyes for several moments to ease the irritation and soreness. When he removed the cloth, Sirius looked in the mirror. He still looked like hell, but, oddly, his eyes had the most peaceful look he'd seen there for some time. His stomach growled – loudly – and, with another look at Kate, he quietly crossed to the door and exited the room.

Sirius felt the tingle of magic as he crossed the threshold and smiled to himself. Making his way to the kitchen, he was surprised to find it empty, half-expecting to see Molly there, as per usual. He looked at the clock on the wall. Merlin, was it really half three already? He quickly made some tea and was rummaging around in the refrigerator for something to quiet his stomach when the sound of a footstep behind him made him turn around.

"There you are," he said as the healer walked into the kitchen. "I missed lunch, so I thought I might scrounge something for myself."

Molly shooed him into a chair. "I'll make you a sandwich, child. Sit. You look a bit rough around the edges to me."

Sirius put his hand on her arm and Molly turned. When she did, he put his arms 'round her in a tight embrace. "Thank you," he said quietly, his voice still hoarse.

Molly smiled and hugged him in return. "Silly child," she said. "It's just a sandwich."

"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it," he admonished her. "Thank you for listening to me and for not letting me make the biggest mistake of my life in walking away from Kate. In letting my anger and pride get in the way of the rest of my life. You've done more for me in three days' time than my own mother ever did for me the entire time she was alive. 'Thank you' doesn't really begin to cover it," he finished, placing a soft kiss on the older woman's cheek.

Molly squeezed him tightly before letting him go and reaching into the pocket of her robes for a handkerchief. "Look what you've done, child," she said. "Now I'll be all red and puffy."

Sirius chuckled at her. "You won't be alone there, Molly," he said, pointing to his own face, his eyes still showing the strain of the emotions he shared with Kate.

Molly reached up and patted his cheek. "All's well now, child?" she asked him softly.

He nodded, his smile echoing hers. "It's well on its way to being well, Molly. We talked and we grieved – obviously. She thought I didn't love her any more," he shared. "I realized that there was no way I could not love her, despite everything. Kate has certainly had enough to cause her to walk away from me, but she hasn't. She still loves me," this last said with a slight bit of wonder in his voice.

Molly smiled at him. "She loves you very deeply, Sirius; very deeply. I'm so glad that you have talked it all through. Here, sit. I'll make you that sandwich."

"Molly, what about Kate?" Sirius asked as he obediently sat in the chair Molly had indicated. "She hasn't eaten since before she came here. I know you must have given her potions to take care of that while she was unconscious but, now…"

Molly patted his back as she passed him to retrieve a plate from the sideboard. "She's fine, Sirius. I gather she's asleep?" At his nod, she returned to the counter where she cut a thick roast beef and pickle sandwich in half and returned to the table where she set it in front of him. "When she awakens, we'll give her some scrambled eggs and toast and see how it settles. She should be fine. Eat, now."

There was no further conversation as Sirius tucked into the sandwich before him, savoring the first food he'd eaten since the previous night. No wonder his stomach had protested so loudly back in Kate's room. When he had finished, Molly removed the empty plate and replaced it with one bearing a very large slice of chocolate cake. At his raised eyebrow, she commented, "Remus, Tonks and that nice young man Kingsley left and I was bored. So, I baked," she shrugged then smiled as Sirius took a large mouthful of cake and closed his eyes, savoring the feel and taste of smooth, sweet, thick chocolate against his tongue. "It doesn't look like you object too much," she observed as he licked a stray streak of chocolate from the corner of his mouth.

He winked at her. "Never," he said, continuing to devour the cake until only faint streaks of chocolate remained on the plate as evidence that there had ever been anything there at all.

"Kate will be particularly jealous of this," he chuckled, as he sat back in his chair, causing the front legs to rise a bit while he balanced on the rear. Molly pushed the chair back into its normal upright posture as she walked back to the table. "You'll split your skull doing that," she said.

Sirius' eyes widened in surprise then he threw his head back and laughed. "Yes, Mum," he teased. "But, that wouldn't be such a bad thing with you here…after all, you're a Healer!"

Molly playfully slapped his arm. "Scamp. Now, what will Kate be jealous of?" she inquired.

"My chocolate cake," he replied. "She is particularly fond of chocolate cake." Sirius paused for a moment, then looked at Molly. "She's really going to be all right, isn't she?"

Molly nodded. "She's really going to be fine. And, Sirius, she can have more children, you know. The curse did not affect her in that way at all," she added, patting his hand where it rested on the table.

Sirius nodded. "Thank you," he whispered, sitting quietly and remembering the time he spent with Kate. "I'm going to shower and change and then I think I'll go back inside with Kate for awhile."

"Sounds like an excellent idea, child," Molly agreed and rose, collecting his plate and carrying it to the sink. She was surprised a moment later, to feel a hand on her shoulder, followed by the tickle of a moustache as Sirius placed another kiss on her cheek. "Thank you for lunch … and for my cake. Perhaps we can save a slice for Kate." He wiggled his eyebrows, adding, "A small one, of course. Wouldn't want her to overdo." Molly laughed and waved him out of the kitchen.

XXXXXXXX

An hour later, freshly showered, beard and moustache trimmed, hair brushed and in a fresh set of robes, Sirius went back into Kate's room. He smiled again at feeling the tingle of the Silencing Charm over his skin as he passed through Kate's door.

"Don't you look handsome?" Kate said, smiling softly as he entered.

Sirius went over and sat on the bed with her. Leaning over, he kissed her gently on the lips and replied, "Yes, actually, I believe I do." He smiled crookedly.

"Now there's the egotistical wizard I know and love." Kate replied, chuckling at him. "Where've you been keeping yourself?"

Sirius looked down at her, tears forming in his eyes and he embraced her gently. Kate rested her cheek against his for a moment before pulling back. "What is it?" she asked.

Sirius shook his head. "Welcome back, Katie-girl. It's nice to hear you laugh – even it it's at me." And, with that, he lowered his head and kissed her tenderly, loving the feel of her arms around his neck and the press of her body against his own.

"Mmm," Kate breathed when they drew apart. "I'll have to laugh at you more often, I think. I like the result."

Sirius smiled. "As often as you'd like, love; as often as you'd like!"


	54. Stronger, We Begin Again

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Sirius awakened hours later to find the room in total darkness, he and Kate entwined together in the magically enlarged bed. He shivered; it was chilly, even with Kate's warm body against his. Sirius carefully reached for his wand and pointed it at the edge of the down comforter that was folded neatly at the bottom of the bed. Guiding it carefully up and over them, Sirius sighed in relief as the warmth of the comforter began to envelop him. He tossed his wand on the bedside table and snuggled back down into the mattress.

"Show off," the whisper reached his ears just as he closed his eyes. Sirius smiled and with a whispered command, brought the gaslights up to a level sufficient for him to see her face.

"Fake," he retorted and was happy to hear Kate chuckle. "And, aren't you supposed to be sleeping, not spying on me?"

Kate rubbed her cheek against his shoulder. "I woke up about ten minutes ago, actually." She paused and levered herself up on one elbow. As a matter of fact, I'm a bit hungry and am considering a bit of a stroll to see what I might find to nibble on."

Sirius shook his head. "As if I'd let you go anywhere. You've been seriously hurt and in bed for three days as a result. You're hardly going to take 'a bit of a stroll'."

"Come with me?" Kate asked, undeterred.

Sirius arched his eyebrows. "Come with … ? Katherine Morgan! Was I speaking Parseltongue? I thought I made it clear…."

Kate sat up slowly and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She paused to catch her breath and to allow the room to stop spinning. Sirius heaved a great sigh as he got up, picked up his wand and came around to her side of the bed. Kate looked up at him. "'Katherine Morgan'? When did you start using my formal name?"

Sirius shrugged. "It got your attention, didn't it? Listen, Katie. If you're hungry and determined to eat something, why don't you let me fetch it for you?"

Kate shook her head. "Sirius, really. I'm tired of being in this room. I'm never going to get any stronger if I stay here – in bed." She paused. "I'll admit that I can't quite do it alone. Help me? Please?"

Sirius looked at her for a moment, then an idea struck. "Of course, Katie-girl." With that, he picked her up in his arms and carried her out into the Great Room. He settled her on the sofa in front of the fireplace then Summoned the comforter from the bed, tucking it in around her. A quick Incendio established a crackling fire in the hearth. Sirius admired his handiwork for a moment then turned toward Kate with a smile. "There," he said.

"Not quite what I meant," Kate said, dryly. "I suppose it will have to do for now, though."

Sirius leaned over and placed a kiss on her damp forehead. "Seems to me that it will be awhile before you're ready to run any marathons. Still hungry?"

Kate nodded. "What do you propose?"

"How about some scrambled eggs, toast and weak tea?" Sirius suggested, adding, "Molly was planning to have you try that once you'd awakened. I'll rustle it up for you if you're sure you're ok here for a bit."

Kate nodded. "I'm fine…and we should be quiet about it; there's no need in waking Molly at this hour." She smiled and settled in to wait, watching the fire and listening to the sounds of Sirius bustling around preparing food. He'd been right, of course, Kate recognized. She knew she was weak, but she was stunned to realize just how much the simple act of sitting up had taxed her. Kate sighed. Classrooms do not prepare you for the physical impact and sensation of the Cruciatus, she mused, nor could they really. Of course, the damage would take time to repair itself. The pregnancy didn't have a chance to…Kate caught her breath sharply as tears filled her eyes once again. The pregnancy. Nothing to worry about there anymore, was there? A son. She and Sirius would have had a son together, but that was over now. A small sob escaped before she could catch it and Kate gave in to the tears that had come so suddenly upon her. She grieved for the tiny life given and taken so quickly and the life the three of them would have shared together had it not been so. This time, her grief was not tinged with the fear of Sirius' reaction to her secret keeping. This time, Kate's grief was that of a mother for her child who had been loved if not completely known. So immersed in her emotions was Kate that she did not feel the sofa cushion dip beside her. When Molly placed an arm about her shoulders, Kate turned and recognized the kind face of the Healer who had been in on Kate's secret from the beginning. Seeing a kindred sadness in the older woman's eyes, Kate allowed her head to be drawn down to Molly's shoulder and she cried. After awhile, Kate's tears stopped and she raised her head to look at Molly. "Thank you," she whispered.

Molly smiled softly and handed her a handkerchief. "I know a bit of what you're going through and you will survive this, dear. Believe me."

Kate nodded. "I know, it's just…"

"sad, yes. War frequently is and both you and your son – and Sirius, as well – have been victims of this war," Molly said. "And so, we will add your son to the list of those for whom we fight and when we win, we will know that we have had our bit of revenge for them all, yes?"

Kate nodded and smiled. "Thank you," she said again, sounding stronger this time. She drew breath to add something but was interrupted by a loud crash followed by a slighter quieter, "Bollocks!" from the direction of the kitchen.

Kate and Molly exchanged looks then both looked up as Sirius entered the Great Room. He had egg yolk mixed with pieces of shell and quickly congealing egg white on his boots and the hem of his jeans. "Molly!" Sirius greeted her. "You're up early. Good to see you," he babbled. "Katie-girl, I've got everything under control, but it's going to be a minute longer. Dobby has just brought me fresh supplies. You see, I'm not sure how it happened, but when I was sending the rasher of bacon to the sideboard, it sort of nudged the bowl of eggs and they…well…sort of scrambled outside of the pan."

"How far 'outside of the pan'?" Out of Sirius' line of vision, Kate nudged Molly's arm as she asked her question.

Sirius mumbled something, as he studied the rug beneath his feet.

"Sorry, child," Molly piped up. "We didn't catch that."

When he looked back up at them, Sirius' face was defiant. "I said, 'on the floor ,'" he repeated and both women had difficulty keeping their own expressions neutral.

Finally, Molly felt safe enough to speak. "Well, Sirius, I can't imagine why you would have been cooking bacon in the first place. It's far too rich for Kate's stomach. I distinctly remember telling you she should have scrambled eggs, toast and weak tea to start."

Sirius rolled his eyes and turned toward the kitchen and the two women thought they could finally give in to the laughter they had suppressed to the point of discomfort. As he reached the doorway, Sirius turned and Molly and Kate struggled to restore neutral expressions to their faces.

"For your information, ladies," he announced. "The bacon was for me!" And with that, he thrust out his chin and stepped into the kitchen. It would have been a fine exit had his heel not found quite a large puddle of egg white, causing him to slide awkwardly across a short distance of the kitchen floor, flailing his arms in an effort to maintain his balance. At that, Kate and Molly completely lost control of their composure and laughed merrily – and loudly at the now totally ruffled wizard.

"I should go and help him," Molly said, wiping her eyes and pushing herself up from the sofa.

"I don't know, this is really quite entertaining," Kate chuckled, mopping her own eyes.

"Yes," Molly agreed. "But if I don't, I'm afraid you'll never get your eggs!"

"You know, I can hear you out here," came a disembodied, very disgruntled voice from the kitchen.

Swallowing hard, Molly took a deep breath and, with a final wink at Kate, headed into the kitchen.

It wasn't long before Sirius and Molly emerged from the kitchen with a tray of food, cups, plates, cutlery and a teapot filled with fragrant tea. Magically enlarging a side table and levitating it to rest in front of Kate, Sirius filled a plate with a spoonful of steaming eggs and a slice of buttered toast. Setting it before her, Sirius gave Kate a gentle kiss on her cheek before retrieving silverware and a cup of tea.

Once Sirius saw Kate begin to eat, he fixed himself a plate. Sitting next to Kate, he tucked in, leaving Molly to shake her head at him, smiling.

"Aren't you hungry?" Kate asked her, sipping her tea.

"I normally postpone breakfast until after 2:30 in the morning," she replied, adding. "I think you'll find that most normal people observe a similar schedule."

Sirius raised his eyebrows at her and grinned. "Yes, well, we're free thinkers around here, Molly. We're open to all sorts of new ideas!" He cast a sidelong glance at Kate to check on her progress and was gratified to see that she had consumed her eggs and was working on the last triangle of toast.

"Would you like more eggs? Toast?" Sirius asked.

Kate shook her head. "No, thank you. This was delicious but I'm satisfied for now. I don't want to overdo it." She finished the last of the tea in her cup then said, "I'll take a bit more tea, though."

Molly took Kate's cup and refilled it for her. "You look better, I think," she commented, handing Kate the cream.

Kate smiled. "I actually feel better. Still a bit tired and my back is a little sore. Must be from lying in that bed for three days." Kate smiled at Sirius. "Perhaps I'll just hunker down here instead."

"Nope, Katie-girl, I think not," Sirius said. "Sleeping should be done lying in a bed, not sitting up on a sofa."

"Perhaps I could sit up for awhile during the day – like a normal person and go back to bed if I'm tired," Kate suggested, abandoning Sirius and focusing on Molly, instead.

"I think that would be acceptable," Molly responded. "We'll try it and if it's tiring for you, we'll adjust the times a bit."

"How long do you think I'll stay here?" Kate wanted to know. While she wanted to be well and put this behind her, Kate dreaded the return to Grimmauld Place – for Sirius as much as herself. Despite the circumstances surrounding it, this respite from his childhood residence had furthered his recovery from his time in Azkaban and on the run.

Molly shook her head. "You won't leave until you are strong enough to resume your life as you lived it prior to your injuries. Unforgivables are called that for good reason. The after-effects take time to fully dissipate; I want you well before you leave my care."

Sirius nodded. "Selfishly speaking, I'd like to remain here indefinitely, of course." He smiled a bit self-consciously. "Most importantly, though, is Kate's health. I don't want her to be sent away before she's absolutely ready to go."

Molly rose and moved toward the tray, but Sirius beat her to the punch, loading all the dishes onto its surface and carrying it into the kitchen.

"He's quite fond of you," Kate observed after Sirius had left the room. "It's very sweet."

Molly's face turned slightly pink. "He's been beside himself with worry over you these past few days and I've been a ready ear for him when he's needed it." She looked squarely at the younger woman. "He is so very much in love with you, Kate."

"And I with him," Kate replied softly. "For many years now." She smiled at the Healer. "Thank you for all you've done for him. I think it's more than 'a ready ear', really. He's never had a true mother figure in his life, you know. His own mother was a ghastly woman who saw children as a necessary evil to continue the family dynasty. He suffered tremendously at her hands – both physically and emotionally. He's envied the relationships his friends have had with their own parents; if he's slotted you into the role of "surrogate" mum, it's possibly one of the best things that could happen for him." Kate said, smiling.

"For me, as well. I lost my own boy in the first War, as I shared with Sirius the other day. He reminds me quite a bit of him, although there are some fair differences, as you would expect. I suspected that your Sirius could use a bit of mothering and I am honored if he sees me in that light in any possible way," Molly responded.

"I think that he does and I'm so glad that it's not unwelcome to you. I'll warn you, though, once he gets into your system, Sirius Black is very difficult to dislodge!" Kate chuckled.

Molly laughed. "I'll bet so! I've grown very fond of him – and of you. It gives me a very warm feeling to see you together."

"Katie-girl, it's past 4. Let's get a bit more sleep before morning officially comes, yeah?" Sirius re-entered the room and, upon seeing Kate's nod, he bent down and scooped her off the couch – comforter and all – just as he'd carried her into the room some hours ago. As he passed Molly, he leaned over and kissed her cheek. "You get back to bed, too. You need your rest and I'm responsible for waking you so early."

Molly shook her head and, as he walked away, Kate caught her eye over Sirius' shoulder. "'night, Mum," she called, rolling her eyes in Sirius' direction and smiling.

Sirius paused and turned. "Yeah, ''night, Mum'," he smiled, adding. "I like that." With a waggle of his eyebrows, he resumed his path to the door. Molly watched them until they had reentered Kate's room and then, smiling, she disappeared inside her own.

XXXXXXXX

Morning found Sirius seated at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and nibbling on a bacon sandwich. While he was accustomed to being alone after his many years in prison and then on the run, solitude was not easy for him. It seemed different here, though. Better. Easier. He snorted, thinking that solitude anywhere was better than being alone at Grimmauld Place.

Pouring a second cup of coffee, Sirius stirred in cream and sugar and thought back to earlier in the morning. He'd helped Kate back into bed, then stripped off and climbed in with her to catch a bit more sleep. She'd fallen asleep immediately and was still slumbering away. It had taken Sirius a bit more time. Well, if he was to be truthful, he worked quite hard to stay awake so he could watch the woman he held in his arms. It seemed they had survived another challenge in their relationship and had emerged intact. Sirius realized that there wasn't much he wouldn't do to sustain this relationship, to make sure that they endured. If before this he was uncertain of their commitment to each other, this latest test of trust, this latest loss, had driven away all doubt. He would die for her; this he knew to the depths of his soul and he would protect her to his last breath. Sirius also knew that he felt as strongly about fighting for them, for their life together; yesterday's struggle had taught him that, as well. He knew there would be challenges when Kate was well enough to return to the Ministry, to her Order responsibilities. Sirius sighed. It would be difficult to remember to stand back and allow her to be herself and do her job without the feeling of him breathing down her neck, without the image of his worried face looming before her. As difficult as it would be, Sirius knew that he would manage it. He had promised – even without the presence of that damnable ring – and he would see that promise through.

A noise in the Great Room caught his attention and, thinking that perhaps Kate had decided to make her way to the kitchen alone, Sirius rose and walked to the doorway where he could see into the next room. To his surprise, it was not Kate, but Remus, who strode toward the kitchen. It had been too long since he'd seen his friend more than in passing.

Impulsively, Sirius threw his arms around the werewolf, giving him a tight hug. Remus returned the embrace warmly, stepping back after a moment and smiling down at his old friend. "Missed me, did you?" he asked, walking around to the far side of the table and sitting down.

Sirius joined him, pouring him a cup of coffee. "As a matter of fact, Mooney, I did," he confirmed. "How've you been? Any progress on Malfoy?"

"Yes, my boy, there has been some progress," Albus entered the kitchen, sat down at the table and conjured a mug of tea. "Ahh," he murmured, swallowing the first mouthful. "Just hits the spot."

Sirius looked at Remus quizzically then turned his attention back to the Headmaster. "I take it you're here to give us an update," he said.

Albus nodded. "Indeed. Kingsley will be joining us shortly as well. I thought we might wait for him. Meanwhile, how is our Kate doing?"

Sirius smiled. "Much better, Albus. Much better, indeed. She's still weak and needs building up, but she's going to be fine."

"Excellent!" Albus exclaimed. "Ah, and here's Kingsley now."

The Senior Auror strode into the room and pointed at the coffee pot. "Is there enough for one more?"

Sirius nodded, summoning a mug from the counter and filling it with the hot, dark brew. Once Kingsley was seated, Albus began to speak. "Kingsley, you'll interrupt me if I get any of this wrong, yes?" Kingsley nodded, although Remus and Sirius rolled their eyes at each other. Not too likely Dumbledore would get much detail wrong.

"It would appear that Mr. Malfoy is back in Wiltshire – and quite willing to speak with the Ministry, provided Fudge is present, Kingsley does the interview and the encounter is documented as a 'conversation' rather than an 'interrogation' for the official record," Albus' eyes twinkled a bit as he shared this information.

Sirius looked incredulous. "And the Ministry has agreed?"

Kingsley nodded. "To those terms, yes. There are two others that remain rather – contentious. He refuses Veritaserum, claiming that it is unnecessary and – how did he phrase it? 'Insulting to his position'. Of course, we're holding firm on that one. He must be questioned under Veritaserum."

Sirius nodded. "What's his other condition?"

Kingsley looked at Albus before continuing. "He demands that we produce Kate."

Sirius stiffened. "Out of the question! He's done enough to her; I don't want her hurt anymore and seeing him will only bring back everything about that night and…what came after," he finished, looking around the table and realizing that he had not yet heard everything.

Albus reached over and placed his hand over Sirius'. "The Minister, himself, is concerned that Kate has not come to work. We've told him that an Auror was grievously injured at Malfoy's hand, yet we have not produced her. He is adamant that we cannot accuse him of wrongdoing if we cannot produce a victim. If we cannot produce a victim then he feels there is no reason for him to subject himself to an interview of any kind." Albus paused. "Sirius, we're so close. If we're successful in our interview, Lucius Malfoy could be sent to Azkaban for use of an Unforgivable curse! It would be an enormous blow to Voldemort – and an equally enormous victory for the Light."

Sirius looked over at Remus. The werewolf nodded. "Padfoot, I know the cost of agreeing to this, but think of the potential gain. Kate's a trained Auror; she can stand up to this type of confrontation."

Sirius closed his eyes and images of Kate and their recent discussions filled his mind. The overriding issue they'd wrestled with above all else has been trust. How could she trust him if he made decisions for her without regard for her own feelings? Isn't that exactly what she had done with her pregnancy? Even though she – then – and he – now – were totally motivated by their love and concern for one another, that path was wrong. He made up his mind.

"I cannot make this decision on Kate's behalf," Sirius said, his voice strong and firm. "She is asleep at the moment. Can you all return this evening? I'm sure she will be ready to speak with you then."

Remus hid his surprise at Sirius' calm and rational demeanor. Both Kingsley and Albus nodded. "Time is of the essence," Albus stated, rising. "But I think that is a reasonable request. I'll see you all here this evening, then."

Kingsley rose, as well. "I'll walk out with you, Albus."

After the two men had gone, Sirius turned to Remus. "I still don't like it and I think it's the absolute wrong thing to do for Kate. If I've learned anything over the past three days, though, it is that I can't live Kate's life for her. She has to be able to trust that I won't make decisions without talking with her if I expect the same from her."

Remus smiled. "I'm proud of you, Padfoot."

Sirius smiled in return and rose. "Thanks, Mooney. Now, we'll see what Ms. Morgan thinks of my sudden maturity … not to mention if I can hold it together when she agrees to the plan!"


	55. A Death Eater in the Ministry

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Sirius levitated the tray in front of him as he opened the door to Kate's room. It was a bit late for lunch, having already turned 3, but knowing what was going to be happening later in the day, Sirius made one decision on Kate's behalf and let her sleep quite a bit longer than he would have normally done. Gaining entrance and closing the door behind him, he made his way over to the bed and set the tray on the table next to it. Casting a Stasis charm, Sirius ensured that the stew would remain piping hot, the French breads warm and crusty and the coffee hot. He smiled as he inhaled the aroma of the freshly brewed coffee; he knew Kate hadn't had any for several weeks and now he knew the reason for her abstinence. Sirius knew she would enjoy this almost as much as he enjoyed fixing it for her. He settled himself next to her on the bed, his body facing her and leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Wake up, love," he whispered. "I've brought lunch."

Kate stretched, working out the kinks in her muscles then settled on her side, facing him again. "More eggs?" she asked, smiling, sliding her index finger along his cheek and across his lips.

Sirius crossed his eyes at her. "Think you're clever, do you?"

Kate nodded, smiling at him. "Mmhmm," she said. "Do you know what I'd love right now?" Sirius lifted his eyebrows in question. "A shower," she said.

Sirius leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose. "I can help with that," he said.

Kate's expression sobered. "Sirius, I'm not at a point – physically - where I can…"

His eyes widened and he interrupted her before she could finish. "No! Kate…Merlin, no! I don't mean that we could – that I would expect you to – or that you would be well enough to …" Sirius stopped and ran his hand through his hair. "Katie," he said quietly. "It's not like that. If you're not well enough to stand in a shower alone, I would never think you were well enough for anything else. Trust me."

"I do," she said. "But given the number of times we 'showered' together, I don't think it's fair to ask for your help now that …this is awkward, isn't it?" Kate leaned over and kissed his lips softly. "I love you, but I think I'd prefer to have Molly there. She's the Healer, after all and probably used to this sort of thing."

Sirius nodded. "I love you, too, you know," he said, searching her face. "Really love you."

Kate nodded, kissing him again, tenderly. "I know, love," she whispered, stroking his cheek softly, her eyes closed, as she stayed close enough to him that their noses touched. Kate opened her eyes and gave Sirius one more kiss. Pulling back, Kate sat up carefully. To her surprise and delight, the room did not pitch and whirl quite as much as it had the previous day. "Want to call Molly for me?"

Sirius nodded and rose. "You sit tight while I fetch her for you. Once you've finished your shower, we'll have lunch." He gestured toward the table. "I've put a stasis charm on the food so it will still be good and hot when you're ready."

Kate smiled. "Thank you, love."

"Oh. Katie, listen," Sirius sat back on the edge of the bed. "Kingsley, Remus and Albus are coming by later. They want to speak with you about a development with the investigation."

Kate looked mildly surprised. "And you agreed?"

Sirius nodded. "Yes, Katie-girl, I agreed. It's not my decision to make, after all. It's yours."

With another gentle kiss and a smile, Sirius left the room in search of Molly.

XXXXXXXX

An hour later, freshly showered, shampooed and dressed in Muggle stirrup pants and an oversized sweater that Tonks had been kind enough to include in a "clothing run" to Grimmauld Place, Kate was seated with in the kitchen with Sirius, enjoying lunch. While Sirius still thought Kate overly pale and, therefore, that she should be remanded to her bed for the remainder of the day, he lost that battle. Both Kate and Molly (whom he could have sworn would have come down on his side of things) firmly vetoed his suggestion of bed rest.

"She'll get no better if she does not adopt some semblance of normalcy," Molly announced to him. At Kate's triumphant snort, Molly advised her, "'Normalcy' within reason, young woman; you will not overdo. Are we clear on that point?"

Forced to agree, Kate was none too gracious at Sirius' smug smile when he heard Molly's follow-up comment. "Childish prat," she muttered to him as he held her chair for her at the table.

"Stubborn wench," he leaned down and jovially whispered in her ear before taking his seat to her right.

Molly didn't miss a thing. As she took her leave, she paused at the doorway, looking back at them. "Can I trust the two of you to behave yourselves if left alone?"

Sirius and Kate exchanged looks then burst into laughter.

"I can't speak for him," Kate chuckled. "But I'll be good – I promise."

Sirius shook his head. "She's been very ill, you know," he said to Molly, gesturing back at Kate. "Can't be held responsible for what she says." He saw the twinkle in Molly's eyes as she struggled to maintain her stern expression. Kate leaned over and smacked his arm with her spoon. "See? Violent tendencies. Perhaps you should stay," Sirius said, dropping the Healer a wink. "Give me some protection from injury."

Molly rolled her eyes. "If you're not going to promise to behave yourself, Kate has license to do whatever it takes to restrain you!"

They laughed again as Molly left them to their own devices.

"She loves you, you know," Kate remarked to Sirius when they were alone. "Quite a bit, I think."

Sirius looked over at Kate, his expression tender. "I'll admit that I feel much the same way about her," he said. "You know, she reminds me of James' mother in a way. Mrs. Potter always treated me like one of her own. It didn't matter who my family was or what mischief I got up to. She made me feel like I belonged. I'd never felt that before. I got a sense of what having a real mum must feel like. I've never felt that again – until I met Molly." He smiled at Kate. "She said I remind her of her own son, who died in the first War."

Kate nodded, returning his smile. "Yes, she told me that last night – while you were cooking."

"Now I have to deal with the two of you poking fun at me," Sirius said – and Kate would have felt a bit badly for him had she not seen the grin on his face while he spoke.

"You're such a git, Mr. Black," Kate said, reaching over and giving his hair a playful tug.

"Don't make me call Molly back out here to deal with you," Sirius said, capturing her hand and holding it tightly.

"You think she'll take your side then, do you?" Kate asked, squeezing his fingers gently.

Sirius nodded. "I do. She loves me, as you, yourself, pointed out earlier." His expression became wistful and he tightened his hold on Kate's hand. "It's sort of nice having a "mum" as opposed to a "mother" – particularly my mother, - even if it's only a make-believe one," he said softly. He smiled and brought Kate's hand to his lips and kissed her fingers.

"Not so 'make believe'," Kate said. "I think she enjoys thinking of you as her son, as well. And, what's the harm in that? If it makes the two of you happy to think of each other in this fashion, why shouldn't you? Personally, I think it's wonderful."

"Kate!" Kingsley's booming voice announced the quite early arrival of their visitors for the evening. "It's nice to see you sitting up and taking nourishment – even if you can't find a better lunch date than this reprobate!" he joked, gesturing at Sirius, while he placed a warm hand on Kate's shoulder and squeezed it gently.

"What is this? 'Kick the Crap out of Convicts Week'?" Sirius asked, smiling at Kate. "Must have missed the advert."

"Kate," Remus' hoarse voice came from behind Kingsley, who moved to allow the werewolf easier access to his friend.

Kate was touched to see tears in her friend's eyes and she rose – under Sirius' watchful eye – to hug him. "Come on, you. I deserve a hug and I won't break," she whispered, putting her arms around his waist. Remus hesitated for a moment then brought his arms gently around her.

"We've been very worried about you," he murmured.

Kate looked up at him and nodded. "I know, but I'm going to be fine. I promise."

Remus smiled and leaned down to kiss her cheek. "Thank Merlin," he said.

Remus stepped back to allow their final visitor to greet Kate. Albus stepped up and hugged her gently. "I am most happy to find you looking so much better, my dear girl," Albus said to her, adding in a whisper, "and I am very sorry about all that has happened to you." Albus looked down into Kate's face and she knew immediately that he was expressing his condolences about the baby, as well. She felt her eyes fill and was grateful when he walked her over to Sirius, who put his arm around her protectively.

"Perhaps we would all be more comfortable in the other room," Albus suggested, leading the way. Everyone followed, with Kate and Sirius pausing for a few moments to allow her to collect herself.

"Ok, now?" Sirius whispered, dropping a brief kiss against her temple.

Kate took a deep breath and nodded. "Let's go," she said.

Once everyone was seated in the Great Room, Albus quickly brought Kate up to speed with all that had happened whilst she had been recovering. When he had finished, Kingsley repeated the news they had shared with Sirius the previous evening, finishing with Malfoy's demand for them to produce her as the victim of his alleged attack.

Kate listened intently, trying to quell the chill that the mere mention of Malfoy's name brought on. After awhile, she turned to Kingsley. "I don't quite understand, Kingsley. Didn't you tell the Minister that I was injured?"

Kingsley shrugged and nodded. "Of course. I told him that you were being treated at a private institution for your own protection and safety. He was quite put out when I refused to provide your exact location," he added.

Kate smiled vaguely. "Kingsley, do you think Malfoy could have used the Imperius curse on Fudge? They seem too close."

Kingsley shook his head. "Doubtful. Fudge is too ambitious – a real 'brown nose' as the Muggles call it. He'd do whatever Lucius asked of him without making the man wave his wand at all!"

"Why do you ask, Kate?" Albus wanted to know.

"He seems too wrapped up in Malfoy – too eager to jump through hoops to please him. Wondering where I am; agreeing to his terms in the interrogation/interview. I don't know. Fudge never struck me as Dark. Stupid, yes. Dark, no. He can't be completely stupid, however. I wondered if at some point, he had denied Malfoy and, in return, Malfoy decided to ensure Fudge's cooperation through some creative curse casting," Kate said. "But if it doesn't appear that way, then it could easily be my own overly-sensitive feelings about Malfoy."

"That would be completely understandable, Kate," Remus put in. "You've gone through a great deal at his hand."

Kate turned to Kingsley. "What would I need to do if I agreed to help with this whole 'interview' process with Malfoy?"

"Well, he requires that you be present during his meeting with Fudge and me. He feels that he is being accused of a crime and expects that his victim will appear to confront him. So, that said, you would need to be in the room." Kingsley paused. "Kate, I get the distinct impression that the man has something up his sleeve, but I don't know what. He may be planning to spring something on you during the meeting."

Sirius spoke up. "Is there any way of discovering what he might be up to before she meets with him?"

"We can try, of course," Kingsley said. "But there are no guarantees. Obviously, Kate would not be alone with him at any time; that's something I would not allow. She'll be protected, Sirius, I can promise both of you that."

Sirius nodded and reached for Kate's hand, entwining their fingers together. He said nothing further.

"I'm concerned that he not find out about this place," Kate said. "Fudge would automatically see it as yet another sedition attempt by Albus and sic his pet pit bull onto the case. With Dolores Umbridge running amok in the throes of her own paranoia, one hint of a 'secret room' on the grounds would make her explode. Unfortunately, the explosion would surely impact the kids. We're going to have to come up with an explanation regarding my whereabouts."

Remus nodded. "They'll probably ask why Kate wasn't taken to St Mungo's," he said to Albus.

"I'm a bit curious about that, myself," Kate said, looking at Albus.

Albus exchanged a glance with Kingsley, who nodded slightly. "Kingsley confided your news to me approximately two weeks before the incident in Hogsmeade," the old wizard told her. "Now, please do not become angry with Kingsley on this, Kate. He told me immediately after you had threatened to take your assignments into your own hands if you did not receive duties with more substance than he had been giving you. It was appropriate for him to do so."

Kate swallowed hard and nodded. Sirius squeezed her hand in support.

"Now, it was most fortuitous that he had informed me, as I was able to bring you here – and arrange for Molly Selkirk to care for you rather than send you to St Mungo's. As I'm sure you can guess, your condition would have aroused questions if it had become widely known. Look how easily Mr. Spear managed to overhear Molly's instructions to a subordinate; there are ears everywhere, Kate. How long do you think it would have taken someone to recall your previous relationship with Sirius – an escaped convict with a very high bounty on his head, indeed? And how long would it then have taken for someone to make an assumption about paternity? It would not have taken an overly large intellect to correctly guess that you and the notorious Mr. Black had resumed your affair and that you were, in fact, carrying his child." Albus reached over and patted Kate's cheek. "No, my dear girl, we could not have risked it – for your sake, for Sirius' sake – or for your Godson's."

Kate nodded again, offering a small smile to Kingsley, who looked enormously relieved that this secret was out and that Kate appeared to be reconciled to what had happened. "We will need to come up with an acceptable excuse. May I suggest that we consider stating that the recent mysterious death of a Ministry employee led you to consider an alternate treatment site? Because you are considering leaving it intact for future use, you would prefer not to disclose its name or location. Kingsley, would that work?"

The senior Auror thought for a moment, then his face split into a wide grin. "Brilliant! That's exactly what we'll say." He paused and looked at Kate seriously. "I have to ask you, Katie. Does this mean that you'll do it? You'll come in and sit in on his 'interview'?"

Kate glanced over at Sirius, who swallowed hard, but turned to meet her gaze. He smiled and squeezed her hand. "Your call, Katie-girl. You're the Auror; you make the decisions."

Kate's eyebrows rose a bit and she increased her own pressure on his fingers before turning to Kingsley. "Yes, I'll do it. When will the interview be scheduled?"

Remus held up his hand. "Kate, there's more. You need to know this before you decide for certain. Sirius, it concerns you as well." The werewolf turned a stern gaze toward Albus. "No secrets, Albus. We've already spoken of this and you agreed. They must be told everything before Kate's decision can be considered final."

Kate felt Sirius stiffen beside her and she knew that if she was feeling a bit anxious, his stress level must be well beyond that. "I can't imagine what's coming, Albus, but please tell us whatever it is that Remus is referring to," Kate said quietly.

Albus took a deep breath. "We are going to cast a protection charm on you before you walk into that room with him. It acts much like a glass shield that will surround your body and will deflect any attempted tracking charms or other, similar magic that Malfoy may attempt. We are virtually certain that he will be unable to permeate that shield."

Kate nodded. "But you are not certain."

Albus shook his head. "Not as certain as I would prefer to be. Therefore, I'm going to have to insist that you return here rather than to Grimmauld Place … and stay here until the outcome of this 'interview' is final."

Sirius shifted in his chair. "What do you mean by that, Albus? If the Ministry is just talking to Malfoy, wouldn't the 'outcome' be that he simply leaves?"

"Oh, no, Sirius, that's not what it means at all." Albus' voice was steely and the air around him crackled with power. "Kate will identify Malfoy as her attacker and will name the Cruciatus as the curse he used. It's an Unforgivable curse, Sirius. You know that that means."

"Azkaban," Sirius breathed.

"Azkaban," Albus confirmed. "A point that is undoubtedly not lost on Mr. Malfoy. He may have agreed to this meeting simply because he fears reprisal from the Ministry if he does not. He may also have agreed because he arrogantly assumes that Kate will not – or cannot – appear. However, there is also our other theory – that there's some other reason that he has agreed to this little meeting. One that we will not know until Kate walks into the room. I want to be prepared for all eventualities, however, to the extent that we can prepare."

"What does this mean for Sirius?" Kate asked them. "Will he have to return to Grimmauld Place even if I stay here?" She was unnerved when she saw Remus exchange a look with the Headmaster.

"Sirius must return to Grimmauld often enough to keep the Black family protections fresh and in place. As the current heir and resident, he must also ensure that Kreacher is kept in check…"

"But, Albus," Sirius interjected. "When I first arrived with Remus, all of the old protections were in place – exactly as my father left them. I don't understand why I would have to return to keep anything fresh."

Albus held up his hand. "Sirius, please. I do understand how difficult it will be to leave Kate and return to Headquarters. You are mistaken about the wards and protections, however. Upon your father's death, many of the protection spells morphed into a darker magic, recognizing only blood family – most specifically the next heir. If you were to go absent for a protracted period of time, it would stand to reason that those same types of changes might, indeed, occur again. It is Order Headquarters, Sirius. It cannot fall into the hands of any of your relatives."

Sirius looked away. "How often and for how long?" He asked.

Albus nodded. "I believe one overnight every two weeks or so should do it," he replied, adding, "Thank you, son."

"May I go with him?" Kate asked. "If it is simply for one night, what harm can come?"

"Katie, no," this time it was Sirius who answered. "It's not worth the risk."

"You are worth any risk," Kate said, her voice firm.

Sirius brushed her cheek with the backs of his fingers. "Thank you, love, but you misunderstood me. If there's some type of Dark magic attached to you, it will undoubtedly be keyed with a blood spell. That blood could only have come from Bellatrix, my dear, dear cousin. We do not know the extent of the damage such a spell could cause and, while I would not object to having Grimmauld Place blown off the map, so to speak, I should very much object to having you blown up with it. The plain truth is that if you do not enter Grimmauld Place again until Albus knows for certain that it is safe, we won't have to confront that eventuality."

"But what if we arrest Malfoy after his interview? Won't we be able to determine the safety then?" Kate asked.

"Not necessarily," Remus spoke up. "If Malfoy is able to attach any type of magic to you, it may not be triggered to be effective unless he's arrested."

"So, there's nothing we can do," Kate confirmed.

"Nothing," Albus said.

Sirius lifted his head and gave Kate a smile. "Well, Katie-girl, looks like you might have to actually do without me for a night every now and again. Maybe you and Molly can practice your knitting…or take some cooking classes to see if you can best my breakfast menu. I'll be fine."

Remus smiled. "I'll make certain that my schedule coincides with Sirius' visits so he's got company."

"We'll be bachelors together, Mooney," Sirius confirmed, raising Kate's hands to his lips briefly. "I'll behave myself like a true gentleman, however, love. Nothing for you to worry about."

Kate looked closely at Sirius' face. "Really," he added.

"Alright," Kate looked around the table. "Set up the meeting and I'll be there."

Kingsley nodded and rose. "I'll do it tonight," he said. "Kate, the sooner we do it, the better. If we allow you to fully recover, it will be more difficult to convince Fudge that you were a true victim."

Sirius looked up at the Auror. "When?"

"Tomorrow, if possible." With a nod to Kate and the others 'round the table, Kingsley left to return to his office and make the arrangements with Fudge – and Malfoy.


	56. Confrontation

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Remus and Albus remained behind for awhile, discussing the upcoming meeting and awaiting the Floo call from Kingsley to confirm that he had been successful in scheduling it. To pass the time, Remus and Molly cooked dinner while the Headmaster caught Sirius and Kate up on the news of the Order and the school. School items led Sirius to ask about Harry, whom he missed dearly and with whom he had been unable to communicate since Kate had been attacked. Being so close to his Godson without being able to see him had bothered Sirius quite a bit and led Kate to wonder if there was a way that Harry could be brought into the limited circle of people who knew about the Annex. She made a note to ask the Headmaster about the possibility later. They all had enough to think about at the moment.

Over dinner, Albus and Molly spent time reminiscing about the time before the first War, when she and her husband and son had lived in Wizard London. Molly's husband, Edmund, had served as Healer at Hogwarts during their son's time as a student, while Molly had pursued her studies so that eventually she, too, would be a certified Healer. When Voldemort began making his presence known in the Wizarding world, Edmund left his post at Hogwarts and joined the staff of St Mungo's, anxious to be in London to assist in the fight. His son, John, joined him and, together, they had been amongst the first victims in the quickly escalating War. Devastated, with nothing and no one at home, Molly applied for a position at St Mungo's, where she remained to this day. Her husband had wanted her to remain as uninvolved as possible in the War effort while he was alive and Molly had honored his wishes. After his death, she was too stunned at the sudden loss of her family to take on any more responsibility than her job already held. Voldemort's apparent death at the hands of Harry Potter occurred a year later and Molly had reconciled herself to honoring her family by living her life fully – now in a world that appeared free of the tyrant that had taken them from her. Still, it felt good to share stories with Albus, who had known both Edmund and John, and had spent time with their family back in those days. Sirius, Remus and Kate listened to their stories, chuckling at the more amusing of their memories ("No, really, Aberforth truly felt that the goat could wear an invisibility cloak to carry healing potions into battle," Molly laughed, trying to gasp out the story between giggles. Albus took up the tale to allow Molly to recover, but he wasn't doing much better. "I reminded my brother about goats' dietary tendencies and he eventually relented. It was fun while it lasted, however.")

Sirius leaned over to Remus. "And they thought the Marauders were out of control," he snickered, earning a raised eyebrow from Molly and sending her a cheeky wink in return. "Something wrong, Mum?" he asked.

Molly's expression softened at hearing what was fast becoming Sirius' favorite name for her. "Not a thing, child," she said. "I thought for a moment that you might have been getting a bit fresh."

"No ma'am," he assured her, grinning in a manner that belied his denial. "Never."

A burst of green flame from the hearth pre-empted any reply Molly might have had as Kingsley stepped through the hearth and into the room. His eyes swept over the group.

"We're set. 10 o'clock tomorrow morning in our large interrogation room," Kingsley said to the group. "I told the Minister and Malfoy that meeting there would clearly help avoid undue embarrassment for Mr. Malfoy." He grinned. "His ego was very pleased with my 'consideration of his position'."

"Pompous bastard," Molly voiced her opinion, causing everyone in the room to look at her in surprise. She returned their gaze unflinchingly. "Well, he is, isn't he?"

Sirius smiled broadly. "I love that woman."

Kate spoke up. "He'll be that much closer to the holding cells if we interview him there, won't he?" She smiled grimly and Kingsley nodded.

"I wouldn't spend a lot of time primping in the morning, Kate," he said. "As we said before, we want them to recognize what Malfoy's done to you even before you open your mouth."

"Problem is, they can't see the worst that he did," Kate said in return.

"And he cannot be told about it," Kingsley reminded her.

"Oh, I'm quite aware of that, Kingsley," Kate responded. "It's one more crime he with which he won't be charged, despite how much he deserves to be."

Sirius put his arm around Kate. "It will be alright, Katie-girl. He'll pay for all that he's done and we know the extent of his crimes, don't we?" He kissed her cheek gently. "It's alright," he repeated.

Kate leaned into him for a moment. "Alright. Kingsley, what time would you like me to arrive?"

"Plan to Floo in at 9:30," he responded. "You can settle yourself in the observation chamber to watch everything unfold. I'll come and get you when it's time."

XXXXXXXX

Later, after the others left, Molly gave Kate a thorough examination just to put their minds to rest about her progress. Despite the stress caused by the anticipation of the events to occur in the morning, Kate's condition continued to improve. At Sirius' request, she said she thought Kate could move into Sirius' room, judging her well enough to leave the hospital area. Kate was very happy to transition into a more normal environment and Sirius was right beside himself.

Later, Kate lay in Sirius' arms, her head resting on his chest as she waited for sleep to come.

"You're nervous about tomorrow morning," Sirius' voice rumbled beneath her ear.

Kate nodded. "I am, a bit," she confirmed.

"Nothing wrong with that," Sirius said. "Keeps you on your guard."

Kate smiled against his skin. "Now you sound like Mad-Eye," she said. "'Constant vigilance!'"

Sirius frowned. "I know. Frightening thing, that. But this one time, I'll live with it."

Kate rubbed his stomach lightly. "I'm really proud of you, you know. You were wonderful tonight during that whole discussion about Malfoy."

Sirius captured her hand and squeezed it lightly. "Thank you, madam. It's bloody difficult, I'll tell you that much. Goes against every natural tendency I have."

Kate shifted her head so she could see his face. "Are you alright about going back to Grimmauld as often as you'll have to?"

Sirius' frown deepened. "Well, I don't have much choice, do I, Katie-girl? I've got to keep the blood relations from the door. I hate being away from you, though, but I reckon that we've been apart from each other for longer than that and survived it. We can survive this."

Kate kissed his shoulder. "We will. And you won't be alone; Remus will be with you. It will be good for the two of you to have some time together. Friendships like yours are very rare, indeed."

Sirius nodded then kissed the top of her head. "Very rare," he repeated. "You should sleep now, Katie-girl. Tomorrow will be here very soon and you need your rest to face dear Lucius."

Kate shook her head. "Actually, I need to look drawn and haggard, rather like the rag-picker's child, according to Kingsley."

Sirius snorted. "He'll be disappointed, then. You couldn't look like that if you tried!"

Kate kissed his shoulder again then brought her leg over his and tightened her hold 'round his waist to snuggle even closer to him. "Thank you, darling. I love you."

"I love you back," he said, tightening his own embrace. "Sleep well, now."

Despite his physical fatigue, Sirius lay awake long after Kate's breathing told him that she had fallen asleep. Visions of Malfoy danced before him, mixed with the image of Kate on the night she was brought to the Annex after her last encounter with the Death Eater. You might be proud of me now, Katie-girl, he thought, but if that sorry bastard so much as looks at you the wrong way, I'll find out about it and he will have more to fear than Azkaban when I do! When the first subtle hues of dawn filtered through the curtains, Sirius finally slept.

XXXXXXXX

Kate arose at 7 to allow herself enough time to shower, dress and eat breakfast before traveling to the Ministry. She was somehow oddly grateful that she needn't bother with her make-up routine as she found that, while better, she was moving much slower than normal.

At 8:30, Kate joined Molly and Sirius at the table while the latter dished up porridge, adding cinnamon, honey and milk while Kate sipped her coffee. Gesturing to the bowl of steaming porridge, Kate smiled at Sirius. "Feels like the first day of school," she said.

There was little conversation between the three and Kate soon placed her spoon in her empty bowl and rose from the table. She squeezed Molly's shoulder as she passed her and received a smile and a warm, "Be safe, my dear," in response. Sirius walked into the Great Room with her and, as they stood before the fireplace, he pulled her into a tight embrace.

"He cannot hurt you, Katie-girl; remember that," he whispered. "Kingsley is there, as well and he will allow nothing to happen to you." Then, lowering his head, he kissed her tenderly. "I love you."

Kate smiled and kissed him again, lingering a bit. "I love you, too. Try not to worry too much. I'll be back as soon as it's over."

Sirius nodded and handed her the pot of Floo powder. Taking a pinch, Kate threw it into the flames, then stepped resolutely into the hearth, calling out clearly, "Auror's Office – Ministry of Magic!" With a shimmer, she disappeared and the flames returned to normal.

Sirius stood in front of the hearth for a moment longer and then returned the powder to its place on the mantel. Turning, he approached the loveseat facing the hearth and sat down to wait for Kate's return. Molly, watching from the kitchen doorway, was reminded of Sirius' Animagus form – the brave and loyal Padfoot – who would wait forever until those he loved returned to him.

XXXXXXXX

Kate stepped out of the fireplace next to Kingsley's cube precisely at half nine and was gratified to feel his strong hands on her shoulders, helping her to stay upright. Never her favorite form of travel, Kate found this particular Floo trip to be extremely taxing and she felt quite dizzy as Kingsley led her into his cube. As they entered, Kate noted that Cornelius Fudge was already seated in one of the two guest chairs in front of Kingsley's desk. Kate hesitated, not wanting to sit in the other, given its proximity to the wizard whom she did not trust.

"Kate!" Fudge arose and extended his hand, his demeanor nervous at her obvious infirmity. Let him think it might be exclusive to Malfoy's behavior rather than her travel methods. After all, Fudge was notorious for choosing sides based on personal gain – or risk. Clearly, supporting a man still suspected of dark tendencies against a charge of torturing a Senior Auror would pose significant risk. Kate wondered if his current anxiety would last through the interview.

"Minister," she returned his greeting and accepted his handshake, changing her mind about the chair. She really needed to sit down.

"I'm grateful you agreed to join us today; I suspect you were most likely given different advice for your own recovery," Fudge continued.

Kate nodded. "I believe some would have preferred me to stay where I was," she told him. "But, even my Healers recognized the importance of this meeting and so agreed that I should attend."

"Would you like some tea?" Fudge asked. "I could ask my secretary to bring some to us while we wait for Lucius to arrive."

Kate suppressed a smile. "That would be lovely, thank you," she responded.

As Fudge Floo-called his secretary, Kate and Kingsley exchanged amused glances. In short order, Agatha arrived with their tea and left them to enjoy the steaming brew in the time that remained before Malfoy was scheduled to arrive. Shortly before 10, they removed themselves to the interrogation room with Fudge and Kingsley seating themselves at the table while Kate took a chair behind the enchanted wall, casting the spell required for her to observe the activities in the room beyond.

Promptly at 10, a Ministry employee knocked on the door and announced that Lucius Malfoy had arrived for his meeting with the Minister. As the clerk moved away from the doorway, Kate caught her breath as the tall, blonde figure of Lucius Malfoy took his place.

"Cornelius," the Death Eater inclined his head in Fudge's direction. Turning to Kingsley, his eyes swept over the tall man haughtily and he murmured, "Shacklebolt, isn't it?"

Kingsley nodded. "It is, Mr. Malfoy. Please, be seated," he added, indicating the single vacant chair opposite those which he and Fudge had occupied before rising at Malfoy's appearance. There was one additional chair, located behind Kingsley and against the wall. Kate knew that to be her seat when Kingsley came to fetch her.

Malfoy pulled out the chair Kingsley had indicated. He removed and folded his traveling cloak, laying it over the back of the chair before seating himself.

"I believe you indicated to me that Ms. Morgan would be joining us this morning and yet, I do not see her here," Malfoy's modulated voice held an element of disdain as he stated the obvious. "Can it be that she has recanted her accusations against me?"

Kingsley glanced at Fudge, whose gaze remained steadfastly on the top of the table. With an inaudible sigh, he turned back to Malfoy. "No, Auror Morgan is here. We thought we would start the conversation and bring her in when the time seemed appropriate." Kingsley reached into his robes and removed a small vial of clear fluid.

Malfoy's lip curled derisively. "Cornelius," he addressed himself to the Minister although his eyes never left the vial in Kingsley's hand. "I thought you and I had discussed this matter and come to an agreement. There is no need to resort to Veritaserum. I have nothing to hide here."

Finally, Fudge ceased his study of the conference table and brought his surprisingly firm gaze to Malfoy's face. "Lucius, you know that we agreed to no such thing. As I said then, it is the policy of the Ministry to use Veritaserum whenever an inquiry is conducted. There are no exceptions."

Malfoy's eyes widened slightly. Clearly, he had expected Fudge to capitulate to his earlier demand. "Why, Cornelius, I'm astonished at you, but if you truly believe that I would lie about this matter, them I suppose I have no choice but to play along with this charade. Shacklebolt, if you must…"

Kingsley held up his hand. "One moment, please, Mr. Malfoy. I must advise you that we have taken additional precautions although, of course, we mean no disrespect to you. As you know, it is possible to negate the effects of Veritaserum by ingesting a neutralizing potion which is taken with an accompanying charm. I have taken the liberty of bringing in a Healer familiar with both potion and charm to conduct a brief magical sweep of your system to determine if, somehow, either or both are present. Surely, you would have no objection to this examination."

Malfoy's naturally pale face seemed, to Kate, to pale even further. After a moment to gather himself, however, he lifted his chin and responded. "While I am offended by your request, I shall not protest it. One can only imagine what your bureau would concoct about me should I choose to do so." He waved his hand. "Bring in this … Healer."

Kate watched Kingsley rise and go to the door through which Lucius had so recently passed. He opened it and gestured to someone out of sight of those in the room. She was shocked a moment later when Molly appeared in the doorway.

Looking at Kingsley, Molly inquired, "Who would you like me to test, please, Mr. Shacklebolt?"

Kingsley gestured toward Malfoy and Molly approached him without any apparent reservation. "Would you stand, please?" she instructed crisply.

With a long suffering sigh, Malfoy rose to his feet and turned to face the petite Healer. Molly closed her eyes and murmured an incantation accompanied by some intricate wand movements. Whirls of light leapt from the tip of her wand and wrapped themselves about Malfoy's tall, muscular frame. The lights joined and separated in a magical dance, growing brighter as they pulsed. Suddenly, the lights shimmered, then turned silver and stood still. Molly opened her eyes and assessed the ribbons of silver for a moment then murmured, "Finite." The lights vanished and she turned to face Kingsley. Solemnly, she said to him, "He has taken the neutralizing potion and the charm has also been cast."

Malfoy's eyes glittered. "I can assure you, madam, I did not intentionally deceive anyone."

"That is not for me to say, sir. I merely performed the diagnostic spell that confirmed that both potion and charm had been ingested. Intentionally or not," she finished.

"I fear that my family may have acted without authorization earlier when I announced that I would be coming to the Ministry to subject myself to questioning. My son, in particular, is often misplaced in is overprotective attitude about my wellbeing. He is impulsive, but, alas, I indulge him far too often." Malfoy's entire demeanor was condescending, but there was a slight twitch at the outer corner of his eye that seemed to indicate that he was, in fact, more nervous than he would have liked to let on. "It would seem that our meeting today is, regrettably, at an end as I cannot ingest Veritaserum to any great effect. We'll need to…"

"Not to worry," Molly interrupted him briskly. "I've brought the reversal serum. Mr. Shacklebolt, here you are." With that, Molly placed a vial full of shimmering, pale blue liquid in Kingsley's hand. "Four drops on his tongue; wait for one minute, then administer the Veritaserum as normal. If you'll excuse me, I have to get back to the hospital; I have patients, you know." And she was gone; exiting the room via the same door she used to enter it.

Malfoy's face was a study in shock. He recovered in time to force a rather sick smile onto his face as Kingsley approached him with the Veritaserum. "Sit down, Mr. Malfoy. This won't hurt a bit," the Senior Auror said, a false kindness in his voice.

A noise behind her made Kate jump and, when she turned, she saw that Molly had entered the observation room. Coming to a stop next to Kate, she slipped her arm through hers. "Sirius sends his love," Molly whispered.

Kate smiled. "I can't believe you," she said, her hand covering Molly's where it rested in the crook of her arm. "You have nerves of steel."

Molly shook her head. "Not true," she said. "That man radiates evil; you can feel it in the room with them. But, when Albus asked me to brew the antidote and do a bit of "trickery" this morning, I couldn't refuse. Sirius was delighted, as you can well imagine."

"'Trickery'?" Kate asked. "You mean Malfoy didn't take the neutralizer?"

"There's no way to tell," Molly said. "Albus was certain that he would have done and, as there's no known way to successfully test to confirm its presence, he asked me to come here and convince Malfoy that I could tell. It appears to have worked."

Despite her fear of the malevolent man in the room before her, Kate could not help but laugh a bit. "So, you lied to ensure Malfoy would tell the truth. I love irony!"

Molly squeezed Kate's hand. "Here comes Kingsley, my dear. 'You're on', as the Muggles say."

Kate looked up to see that Kingsley was striding purposefully toward the door to the observation room. Malfoy was seated at the table and his eyes had the curiously glazed over look that indicated the successful administration of Veritaserum.

"It's time, Kate," Kingsley said after opening the door a bit.

"Good luck, dearie," Molly whispered, letting go her arm.

Kate nodded and walked over to where Kingsley stood in the doorway. "Let's get this over with," she said quietly and, together, they made their way into the interrogation room.

Kate sat in the chair against the wall and waited for Kingsley to begin his questioning. It didn't take long.

"Mr. Malfoy, we will begin with some basic questions just to ascertain that the Veritaserum has taken hold. Is your name Lucius Malfoy?"

"Yes," Malfoy answered.

"Where do you live?" the Auror asked.

"Wiltshire," came the detached response.

"Where were you the evening of Thursday last?" Kingsley asked the first of his questions directly relative to the events at Hogsmeade station.

Malfoy clearly did not wish to answer, but was forced to do so by the pull of the Veritaserum. "In Hogsmeade."

"In the village proper?"

"No, at the train station." Kate noted that even though Malfoy was under the influence of the powerful truth-compelling serum, he struggled mightily against it – as indicated by the gritted teeth through which his last answer was uttered.

"Why were you at the station?" Kingsley asked.

"We were helping some colleagues move," Malfoy fairly sneered.

"We?"

"Auror Spear and myself," Malfoy replied.

"Did you achieve your objective – helping your colleagues move?"

"Only partially."

"Why only partially?" Kingsley asked.

"We were interrupted. Your … staff, I would presume," Malfoy's sneer was becoming more pronounced.

"Is there anyone in this room you recognize from that night?"

Malfoy's ice blue gaze fell on Kate and he inclined his sleek blonde head in her direction. "Ms. Morgan," he said. "Although she was not always visible, were you?"

"I'll ask the questions here, Mr. Malfoy, if you don't mind," Kingsley reminded him. He turned to Fudge, whose eyebrows were raised at Malfoy's comment. "Minister, we were seriously outnumbered. Fortunately, Bill Weasley, Arthur's son and Remus Lupin, a former professor at the school, happened along and were able to assist us, else I doubt we would be here. Kate had taken an invisibility potion upon arrival at the scene. It allowed us some advantage, but only temporarily," he explained.

"Allowing civilians to partake in Ministry affairs," Malfoy interjected. "And one a known werewolf. Really, Cornelius. Most unacceptable from my perspective."

Fudge's face was red with his indignation, Kate noted with some surprise. "Given that you were there with individuals known to have recently escaped from Azkaban prison, andthat you fought Ministry personnel alongside them, your perspective cannot be considered," he said.

"Indeed, Minister," Kingsley murmured, retaking control of the interrogation – for that is what it had become. "Let us continue. Kate?" At the sound of her name, Kate rose, albeit shakily – her proximity to Malfoy having more of an impact on her than she could have anticipated.

"Mr. Malfoy, please describe the spells and/or curses you used in your duel with Auror Morgan," Kingsley requested.

Malfoy looked from Kingsley to Kate. He drew breath to speak and it became apparent that he was struggling mightily with the compulsion of the serum. Finally, he spoke. "I used … the Cruciatus Curse," he spat out.

Fudge gasped. "So, it's true?"

Malfoy turned to look at the Minister. "I am under the effects of Veritaserum, Cornelius," he sneered. "Try to keep up, won't you?" Turning back to Kate, Malfoy continued. "I had heard a rumor about Auror Morgan – a rumor about her … health," he oozed. "Given the implications of the rumor, I was … anxious to detain her to see if it was true." Kate watched as Malfoy's face took on some additional color and knew that he was dancing on the edges of truth with his final statement. She felt her heart begin to race as she realized where Malfoy was headed. She acted quickly.

"I'm sure that you are referring to the ridiculous rumor that former Auror Spear tried to spread here after seeing me at St. Mungo's one day," Malfoy's sneer turned into a frown as he realized that he was about to be trumped. "Minister, I was bothered by a recurrence of an old stomach condition and sought more effective treatment from a Healer there. Spear happened to overhear one of the potions that was being prescribed for me and apparently recognized it as one that is also prescribed for expectant mothers. I can assure you that its recommendation for my use was in the treatment of my chronic stomach issues and nothing else. Spear, however, in an attempt to persuade Kingsley to remove me from anything to do with the investigation into Unspeakable Bode's death, began spreading the rumor that I was pregnant." Kate was enormously grateful that she was not under the constraints of Veritaserum.

Fudge nodded. "Which, of course, you were not?"

Malfoy saw his carefully laid plans slipping away and interrupted. "Cornelius, certainly you remember that Ms. Morgan was once involved with Sirius Black, the escaped convict whom you, yourself, publicly denounced as the man behind the recent Azkaban break-out. Is it so unlikely that he would seek her out now that he's on the run? That they would have resumed their relationship right under your very nose? Clearly, you would not want an Auror capable of that kind of duplicity and – dare I say it? – treason working in our midst here at the Ministry? I…merely acted…out…of…," Veritaserum was making it very difficult for Malfoy to continue.

"I'd stop right there, Malfoy," Fudge interrupted. "Veritaserum has very nasty consequences for those who attempt to lie while under its influence." He turned to Kate, "You were, however, once very much involved with Black, Kate, as I remember. You, of course, would immediately turn him in if he attempted to contact you?" At Kate's nod, he continued. "And, of course, you are telling the truth about your – er- condition?"

Kate looked from the Minister to Malfoy and said, "I can assure you, Minister, without any hesitation and in complete truthfulness, that I am not pregnant." She took a deep breath and continued, "But how much more reprehensible does it make Mr. Malfoy's actions if he truly did believe that I was and still performed the Cruciatus Curse against me that night? And not just once, but three times and for a prolonged period! What kind of monster does that make him?"

Kingsley spoke up. "You may return to your seat, Kate," he said, noting how pale she had become and that her hands were trembling. Once she was seated, he turned back to Malfoy, whose mouth was set in a grim line. "It looks as if your plan here has failed. You have admitted using an Unforgivable Curse on an Auror of this Ministry. Your reaction while attempting to excuse your actions appears to indicate that at least part of your explanation flirted with dishonesty." He paused, glancing at Fudge who had lapsed into another silent review of the table top. "Given those circumstances, I have no choice but to have you arrested and held here pending transfer to Azkaban. Minister? Have you anything to add?"

Fudge raised his head to look at Kingsley. "Nothing," he stated, rising and turning to Kate. "We should delay no further. Ms. Morgan needs to return to hospital. It was kind of her to come here today to assist us in this matter." He headed toward the door.

"I demand my solicitor," Malfoy roared. Kingsley smiled and conjured the magical bonds that immediately wrapped themselves around Malfoy's wrists.

"You may Floo Call him before we take you to your cell. I'm sure he knows his way to the holding cells, Malfoy. After all, it may have been 15 years, but you've been our guest before," Kingsley allowed himself a small chuckle before turning to Kate. "Thank you, Kate," he said. "Please go and rest. I'll check in with you later."

Kate nodded and rose, turning to go through the doorway into the observation room. Once inside, she felt Molly's arm slide round her waist and was grateful for the support.

"Come, sweet," Kate heard her say. "Hang onto me tightly. I'll get us back to the Annex."

With that, Kate closed her eyes and felt the distinct sway of Apparition and the next thing she knew, two very strong arms reached out to embrace her. Opening her eyes, Kate saw Sirius' concerned face before her. Before she could react or say a word to him, however, she saw his features begin to blur and, in the next moment, darkness claimed her.


	57. To Keep You Safe From Harm

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Kate opened her eyes and watched as Sirius' face swam into focus above her. She glanced over his shoulder and realized that she was lying on the couch in the Great Room, her head in Sirius' lap and her hand held firmly in his.

"Better, now?" he asked softly, stroking her hair with his free hand.

Kate nodded. "I think so. Tired, though," she finished. "How long have I been out?"

"Oh, not long; perhaps ten minutes," Sirius responded. "I wanted to make you as comfortable as possible," he smiled softly, but Kate could see the concern in his eyes. "Want to try sitting up?" he asked and, at her nod, Sirius helped her sit up and back on the couch.

"Awake, is she?" Molly bustled into the room, with a goblet of steaming potion in one hand and a glass of ice water in another. She handed Kate the goblet first with instructions to down it in one go. Kate sniffed the steam before doing so, recognizing the telltale scent of Pepper-up potion. Ugh! But, she knew from experience that there would be no getting around Molly when it came to healing potions. With a sympathetic glance from Sirius, Kate took a deep breath, opened up her mouth and got the entire dose down without much trouble. The immediate steam release from her ears was unsettling, as it always was, but the simultaneous lift in her energy level more than compensated.

"How did it go?" Sirius asked, handing Kate her water.

"Molly was marvelous," Kate said, smiling. "Did you know what she was planning?"

Sirius nodded. "Yes, but not until after you'd left. She and Dumbledore had worked it out last night. After you'd gone through the Floo, she came into the room with a small satchel in her hand and headed for the fireplace. I barely got the story out of her before she Floo'd to the Ministry" He paused and snorted. "I suppose I'm going to have her to worry about now, too: running off into all manner of dangerous situations." He cast a sidelong glance at Kate then continued softly, "What happened?"

Kate brought Sirius up to speed, shuddering as she recalled Malfoy's comments when addressing his use of the Cruciatus against her.

"Sirius, he claimed to have thought I was pregnant the night of the attack," Kate said quietly, although her hands trembled. "He reminded Fudge of our relationship in the first War and said that it was not unthinkable that you would have come to me again after your escape. Of course, we would have resumed our relationship; I would have become pregnant as a result and would have begun helping you evade recapture. He felt that if he could detain me, he could confirm my condition, hinting that it could result in my arrest as a traitor and your recapture. The baby, apparently, was collateral damage in his plan."

Sirius' face paled and his eyes darkened in anger. "Bastard!"

"Indeed," came a deep, rich voice from the doorway. Kingsley entered and sat in one of the chairs before the fireplace. "But, reprehensible as his comments were today, it's important to remember that the information would have had to come from Spear – who made a guess, at best. It's possible – very possible, indeed – that Malfoy simply wished to apply the Cruciatus against you in return for the curses you cast against him and the other Death Eaters. We do not know when Spear may have mentioned his suspicions to Malfoy. I believe that Malfoy used the rumor as a last-ditch effort to bargain for his own release today."

Kate nodded. "Yes, Kingsley, I know. But Malfoy will now go to trial. He will be questioned in the Wizengamot. He will say it all over again. If I am called to testify, it will be under the influence of Veritaserum or under a Wizard Oath. It matters little which they choose; dishonesty is impossible under either."

"Malfoy won't go to trial," Kingsley said to them. "He admitted wrongdoing – under the effects of Veritaserum and in the presence of two senior level Aurors and the Minister of Magic. The Wizengamot won't waste the galleons on a trial given those facts."

Kate was quiet for a moment and when she spoke, her voice was low and urgent. "You realize what's at stake if you're wrong? I will have to tell the truth about everything I am asked. Malfoy's solicitor will ask about the rumors because Malfoy will claim that he was purely intentioned and seeking to uncover a traitor within the Ministry walls. He has Bode's death on his side to shore up that theory, doesn't he? Factor in my prior history with Sirius and our former relationship then add the fact that he's on the run from the Ministry after his escape from Azkaban. Even if you're not good at maths, Kingsley, you can clearly see that it all adds up to the fact that I will have to tell them everything I know about Sirius. I will have to betray him. Malfoy will probably be awarded the Order of Merlin – 1st Class while Sirius will be captured and …"

"Stop it!" Sirius' voice roared hers into silence. He was trembling as he captured Kate's hands in his. "Stop it, Kate," he said, his voice quieter this time. "We do not know that this will happen. What Kingsley said makes sense: Malfoy has confessed…"

It was Kate's turn to interrupt him. "Malfoy has asked for his solicitor, Sirius," she said, her voice tense. "I don't believe he has done so because he misses his company. I think that he counted on Fudge eliminating the Veritaserum requirement and figured he could lie through his teeth during our meeting; well, that failed, didn't it? Now, he needs to find an alternative – and fast! Who better to assist him than his equally oily solicitor, Llewellyn Jarvis? Sirius, Kingsley, listen to me. Yes, Malfoy confessed but, Kingsley, think. The issue is no longer the confession. The issue is how to justify it. Of course he confessed – he had nothing to fear. He was working for the good of the Ministry in his attempts to corner a potential traitor and recapture our most wanted wizard. He wouldn't have thought to cover up his actions; he was not acting out of anything but concern for the Ministry. That is exactly how Jarvis will play it and, in our current climate, it is exactly what the Wizengamot will buy. And we are irresponsible idiots if we think differently."

Sirius threw up his hands in frustration and turned to Kingsley. He hadn't time to speak before Kingsley said, thoughtfully, "She may, indeed, have a point."

Sirius' eyes widened at the other man. "Kingsley, you, yourself said that the bastard had confessed…"

"Kingsley, do you know if the rumor about the Wizengamot insisting that all witnesses take Veritaserum prior to testifying is true?" Kate rose from the couch and began to pace.

Kingsley watched her movements thoughtfully. "In place of a Wizard Oath? I've heard that said, but I've not been called to testify in the last month or so."

"Do we know anyone we can trust who has?"

Kingsley was quiet for a moment, then picked up his head and smiled at Kate. "Arabella Figg," he said. "She testified on Harry's behalf in September over that business with the Dementors; Dumbledore specifically asked for her. She can tell us; she's sort of part of the Order. Where are you going with this?"

"I just happened to think. If it is Veritaserum, and what Molly said is true, we could employ the neutralizing potion as a counter. Molly said that there is no way to verify whether or not the neutralizer had been consumed. It might be a way around truthful testimony," Kate said.

Kingsley shook his head. "Too easy. After Molly's demonstration this morning, Malfoy could all too easily find out that her "professional scan" was nothing more than old-fashioned smoke and mirrors. Jarvis will demand that a more binding preventative measure be implemented; my bet would be the Wizard Oath. Kate – there's no neutralizing potion or charm for that one."

Kate nodded, resuming her place on the sofa. "There has to be a way, Kingsley. Sirius, do you …" Kate turned to find an empty space beside her. Sirius had, apparently, left.

Following her line of vision, Kingsley rose. "Left the room when you got up; headed that way," Kingsley gestured toward a closed door Kate knew to be Sirius' room. "I'd better go. Malfoy's attorney is due at the Ministry by 3 and I've got paperwork to finish before he gets there." Kate rose as Kingsley crossed the room. He gave her a small hug. "Get some rest. I'll check in later." As he stepped back, he gestured again toward Sirius' door. "Mend some fences first," he said with a small smile. "You'll rest easier if you do."

Kate nodded and watched him go then, with a sigh, she turned toward the hallway where the bedrooms were located, pausing before Sirius' room for a moment before raising her hand to knock. There was no answer. Kate knocked again, slightly louder and called his name softly. Nothing. Determined, she opened the door and peered inside. Sirius lay atop his bedcovers, his back to the door. Kate slipped inside, closing the door behind her. Slipping off her shoes and outer robes, she settled next to him on the bed, spooning behind him. Still, there was no acknowledgement of her presence. Kate listened for it, but did not hear the deep, rhythmic breathing that would indicate that Sirius was asleep. Kate put her arm over his where it rested against his stomach and felt for his hand. She found it and tried to entwine their fingers, but he left his hand limp against hers. She settled for wrapping her hand around his and settled in to wait him out, confident that Sirius would speak up before too much time had passed. As the silence continued, Kate felt the exhaustion of the day's activity claim her and she fell into a restless sleep. When she awoke, the sun had moved round from their side of the Annex, which meant several hours had gone by. Glancing around, Kate realized that she was alone. Damn! Thinking that at least Sirius wasn't able to wander too far, she rose, splashed some water on her face and walked out into the Great Room to find him.

After wandering through the Annex, Kate was beginning to panic a bit, as Sirius was nowhere to be found. She walked into the hospital area and found Molly folding some linen by the cupboard.

"Feeling better?" she asked Kate, smiling at the younger woman.

Kate hugged her in greeting. "Physically, yes, but I'm worried about Sirius. I can't find him and he can't…" Molly interrupted her with a hand on her arm. Smiling, she pointed to an open window at the end of the room. "Out there," she said.

Kate's eyes widened in alarm. "But can't he be seen?"

Molly shook her head. "No part of the Annex can be seen, dear. It's like Order Headquarters."

Kate nodded. "Thank you." She began to walk toward the window then paused and turned back. "He's quite angry with me, I believe. You may hear … yelling," she finished.

Molly's eyebrows went up. "I've heard it before. He's upset, but I wouldn't say he's angry. He wouldn't talk to me about whatever was bothering him. Just gave me a kiss and told me he was going outside for awhile. I figured you'd be along. Here" – she waved her wand over two pillowcases, transfiguring them into thick cloaks. "Take these with you. It's cold out there."

Kate smiled her thanks and resumed her path to the window. Once there, she put her head through the opening. There was a generous balcony just outside, completely bordered by heavy stone railings. Sirius stood in the far corner, looking out at the Black Lake.

"I wondered where you'd got to," Kate said, stepping out onto the stone floor and wrapping the conjured cloak around her shoulders. She walked over to where Sirius still stood facing away from her. She could see the shiver of his shoulders and so reached up and draped the cloak around them.

"I like being out here. It's so … open. I almost feel free," he said, his voice hoarse, finally turning to face her.

"What happened in there?" Kate asked. "You weren't really sleeping when I got into bed with you earlier."

Sirius shook his head. "No, I wasn't. I was upset and I didn't want to talk with you. I hoped I'd fool you into thinking I was asleep and you would leave. I wanted time to work through it all before I saw you." He paused, half smiling. "I should have known better."

"Have you worked it through now?" Kate asked, watching him carefully.

Sirius took a deep breath. "No. I need to figure out how to say what I need you to hear."

Kate nodded, stepping forward and putting her hand on his arm. She felt the muscles tighten but she did not remove her hand. "We're on dangerous ground, you know. We've been here before. One of us is upset we're spending time worrying about how to communicate that fact. This is generally where we get ourselves into trouble. I know that something has upset you; I knew it when I realized you'd left the Great Room earlier. You confirmed it when you wouldn't respond to my touch when I found you in your room. You're doing it again right now. I don't care if you yell or swear – or both. I don't care what words you use. I just want us to figure it out, fix it and move past it. You were the one who said that we'd butted heads in the past and we'd do it again in the future and, 'so what?' So, we'd yell. At least we'd get it out in the open and we'd get past it sooner. Isn't this one of those times?" Kate's voice was soft, but her eyes never left his.

Sirius shook his head and sighed. "Anger I can handle; this isn't anything to do with anger."

"Just talk to me," Kate said. "Please, if I've done something to upset you, tell me so we can deal with it."

Sirius looked at her. "I'm upset because it's starting again. People are getting hurt. It's James and Lily all over again. People are being put at risk – and it's because of me. You and I – we got back together and we … well, we were not careful at all and you got pregnant. However it happened, that fact got out – and Malfoy heard about it. You were tortured because of it. Our child died. You almost died. Now, there's a very real probability that you'll have to testify at Malfoy's trial and it won't matter how well you can act or how convincingly you can hide the truth because those aren't options in front of the Wizengamot, Kate. You are compelled – through whatever magical means they employ – to tell them the truth. There are no alternatives. This time, when you tell the truth, you will brand yourself a traitor – because of me. You will be arrested and put in Azkaban. On a lesser note, I'll be re-captured and given The Kiss. Harry will be left alone. Again. Because of me. And while all this bloody shite goes down around me, I sit idly by." He stopped, breathing heavily. "I can't do it anymore, Katie. I can't just sit here and watch the people I love get hurt because of me."

Kate felt her body begin to tremble from more than the cold. "What are you saying?" she whispered.

"I think it's time for me to leave. If I'm not here, you'll be telling the truth when you testify that you aren't helping me and don't know where I am. I was on the run for the better part of two years. I can do it again…" Sirius was forced to stop speaking as Kate flew at him, putting her hands on either side of his face and refusing to let him jerk away from her grasp.

"NO!" she shouted, eyes flashing. "NO! I will not let you do this. I will not let you run again. You are safe here. No one can find you here or at Grimmauld. You are not going to live in caves or forests as Padfoot, scrounging food from garbage pails and begging scraps from strangers – never having enough to eat. Sleeping in the wet and the cold, never warm enough. Alone – with only your imagination and all those bitter memories as company. If it means using a full Body Bind on you from now until the War is over, I'll do it. Molly will help me, too, if I ask her." Kate was breathing very hard and tears had begun to stream from her eyes. "I won't let you go again! We've been through too much for that. I can't …" Kate stopped. She couldn't continue. She kept staring at his face throughout the entire time she'd been speaking and now that she'd finished, she watched it crumble.

"It's the only thing I can do, Katie," he choked out. "It's all I can do to keep you safe. I'm useless for anything else and keeping you – and Harry – safe is all that matters to me now."

Kate released him and took a step backward. She took several breaths to compose herself then spoke. "I don't know how many times you and I have had a variation of this same conversation and it always comes down to whether or not we stay together. You've come full circle. In a matter of days, you've gone from giving me the choice of leaving you to deciding that you're going to leave me. And it's all to keep me safe. How safe will I be worrying about where you are and how you are? How safe will you be wondering those same things about me? Which one of us will first lose our focus because of that worry – and make a mistake that costs us our life? I'm not prepared to lose you – temporarily or permanently. I thought we'd already decided that being apart wasn't an option for us. I thought we'd agreed that we weren't going to have this conversation again. Why won't you even consider staying the course – staying here – and working to find some other way around that whole bloody trial testimony? For the record, you told me that you would always believe it was your own stupidity that caused James' and Lily's deaths. You made a rash decision out of fear and believed it to be the only way to protect them. You're doing the same thing now. Getting yourself killed or captured or Kissed is not going to protect me and it's not going to protect Harry, either. Leaving us and going on the run again is not the only way to keep me safe and it's certainly not going to do you any good. You've barely begun to recover from the two years you were on the run before settling at Grimmauld. Think about how little time it will take you to lose the ground you've gained. How quickly you'll weaken. And then, you'll be right – there won't be anything you can do to help or keep anyone safe. And there will be nothing anyone can do to keep you safe and, although that's not a concern for you, it sure as hell is a concern for some of us."

Sirius looked at her. "I can't be responsible for hurting one more person that I love," he whispered brokenly. "This morning, listening to you and Kingsley, I realized that the possibility I could do so – again – was very real."

"Then realize this: if you do this – if you leave – you're going to do much more than hurt the people you love, Sirius," Kate said. "If you leave, you will destroy people. You will destroy me. That's real, Sirius."

Sirius remained silent and Kate worked feverishly to think of something – anything – to turn his thoughts around. This was different than anything they had faced since coming back together. This wasn't an argument about trust or fidelity; this was something more. This was elemental, primal. This was all about fear: fear of history repeating itself. Fear that the next death in this war would mirror, in closeness, the final two deaths of the last one. How to make him see that 'death' could be defined as a loss of something more than physical life?

Suddenly, she knew.

Kate stepped closer to Sirius and took his hands in her own. So cold, she thought as his eyes met hers in question.

"If you do this – if you leave – our relationship is over," she said softly, fighting to control her own emotions. "Do not contact me – directly or through anyone else. You are making me responsible for what happens to you. If you are caught and Kissed, it will be my fault. If you are killed, that will be my fault as well. If you are injured, tortured, if you freeze or starve to death, it will be my fault. Because you are willing to sacrifice yourself in a misguided and unnecessary attempt to protect me, you are putting me in the same position you were in when James and Lily were murdered. You are putting the mantle of guilt and responsibility squarely on my shoulders, without thinking about what it will do to me to carry it. Azkaban will be nothing to me compared to what you will have done." The play of emotions across Sirius' face was horrible to watch as she spoke and his fingers had tightened almost unbearably around her own, but Kate was determined to finish what she had started; if he left, after all of this, she had to know that she'd done everything she could to stop him. "If you can hear all of this and are still able to leave, then go. You know the consequences of your decision. I only ask that you speak with Dumbledore and arrange for Harry to come here before you go. Remus, as well. You explain your decision to your Godson and your best friend. You tie up all loose ends before you leave, Sirius. I will not be left here to do it for you." Kate pulled her hands from his grasp and paused for a moment before turning to go back inside. "Remember what you said to me when we talked about the miscarriage and trust? You told me that you loved me enough to let me go if I wanted you to. I didn't then and I don't now. I thought we were all finished with that question – once and for all. Sirius, I love you," she said quietly. "With everything that I am. And that will not change no matter what you decide to do." Kate stopped and closed her eyes, collecting her thoughts. When she opened them, Sirius had moved a step closer to her and he was visibly shaking beneath the cloak. Sirius, do you remember how you felt when you gave me the choice of leaving you? I think that I must feel all of that – but more, because when you leave, unlike if I had decided to go, you may never come back to the people who love you…and they could very easily never even know what happened to you. Bloody lousy legacy, that." And with that, she turned and walked away.


	58. Once and For All

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Kate walked through the hospital area of the Annex, through the Great Room and into one of the unoccupied bedrooms without seeing or speaking to anyone. She closed the door behind her then walked into the adjoining bathroom. Mechanically, without thought or feeling, she removed her clothing, tossed everything into the hamper, and stepped into the shower. When the hot water hit her body, so did the emotions she had held in check since her final comments to Sirius. Kate put one hand against the tiled wall to steady herself and stood under the pulsing stream and sobbed. She had no idea of the eventual outcome of her comments to Sirius; she knew what she wanted it to be, but knew also that there were no guarantees. Kate knew that she had been harsh – particularly in threatening their relationship – but she also knew Sirius better than anyone else and he was headstrong, stubborn and would not yield in his decisions if they involved protecting people he loved. Kate knew that her only hope was to get him to see that his plan for protection would do more harm than good. She only hoped she had succeeded. As the water began to cool, Kate reached for the shampoo and quickly went through the motions of completing her shower. It wasn't long before she was walking toward the bed in a robe conjured from a large, fluffy bath towel. Pulling back the covers, Kate slipped out of the robe, tossing it onto the bottom of the bed. She slipped into bed, pulling the warm bedclothes over herself and immediately fell asleep.

XXXXXXXX

Out on the balcony, Sirius stood staring at the window through which Kate had just disappeared. The uncontrollable shaking coursing through his body had more to do with the words she had spoken than the chilling breezes of March; that much he knew. Slowly, Sirius turned back to the railing and looked out at the deserted grounds. The memory of Kate's voice wove a cold, painful litany in his head.

"If you do this – if you leave – our relationship is over". Sirius hung his head. How could she say that to him? Haven't we already been here and back, Katie-girl? Can't you see that the only way I can protect you – or at least not expose you to risk – is by taking myself away from you? I can draw them away from you. If I get far enough away and let myself be seen, they'll know that we're not together. Maybe they'll think that we never were together.

"You are putting me in the same position you were in when James and Lily were murdered." Sirius' head snapped up. Was he? Yes, he had made the decision to switch Secret Keepers and had convinced James it was the right thing to do … for their own protection. It hadn't been, though, had it? He'd been so sure and he'd lived with the guilt ever since. He closed his eyes, remembering her words.

"You are making me responsible for what happens to you. If you are caught and Kissed, it will be my fault. If you are killed, that will be my fault as well. If you are injured, tortured, if you freeze or starve to death, it will be my fault. Because you are willing to sacrifice yourself in a misguided and unnecessary attempt to protect me, you are putting me in the same position you were in when James and Lily were murdered. You are putting the mantle of guilt and responsibility squarely on my shoulders, without thinking about what it will do to me to carry it. Azkaban will be nothing to me compared to what you will have done." Sirius gritted his teeth as he realized the truth of her words. He was making a rash decision, the consequence for which would not be his alone to bear. She was right: by making the decision to leave again and telling her that it was for her protection, he was laying all that could happen in her lap. He thought of all the days and nights in Azkaban when all he could picture was Godric's Hollow the night James and Lily were killed. The sound of Harry's cries ripped through his tortured mind and he could smell the burned wood, the acrid odor of melted and scorched fabric and plastics. These were the elements of his nightmares, less frequent now that he was relatively secure. He shuddered as he recalled how Kate's face had slipped into those nightmares after she had returned to London. How could I have thought to put her in that same hell? Worse, actually; because she'd ordered him not to contact her and therefore, she would never know where he was or what had happened to him. Sirius sighed again. It would eat away at her as little else could because she would hold herself responsible for all of it.

"It will be my fault…Azkaban will be nothing to me compared to what you will have done … it will be my fault … my fault." Sirius clenched his fists where they rested on top of the stone railing. It wouldn't be your fault, Katie-girl. It. Would. Be. Mine. Sirius felt the hot tears tracking down his cold cheeks. "I could keep the Ministry away from you, Kate, but I couldn't do a bloody thing about what you could do to yourself over this, could I?" he muttered through clenched teeth.

"Sirius, I love you with everything I am." And in that moment, his understanding was complete. He knew that she did love him and that Kate had realized that it would take this kind of threat to get through his thick head. And Harry and Remus – having to tell them would not have been pretty, and Kate knew it. Talk about a 3-deep plan, he thought. If he had continued his rash decision to go back on the run, Kate had built in two additional opportunities for him to be stopped – in the only two people who might have been able to wear him down or make him see reason - if Kate could not.

"Katie-girl, I don't know why you put up with me sometimes," Sirius said, sadly, using the edges of his cloak to clear his face.

"Neither do I," a hoarse voice said from behind him. "It can't be because of your fashion sense, though." Remus' smile disappeared from his face when his friend turned around to face him. "Padfoot," he said sadly. "What has happened?"

Sirius shook his head. "It's a long story, Mooney and I'm freezing my bits off out here. I need a hot shower, then I'll tell you all about it." He paused before stepping through the open window to the welcome warmth of the Annex. Turning to Remus he said, "I think I might have finally learned to think before I speak, Mooney. To think about what I'm planning to do and how it will impact other people. I'm really getting tired of making that woman cry, Mooney."

"I should hope so, Padfoot. And I'm anxious to hear about whatever brought on this epiphany of yours," Remus looked carefully at his friend. "Whatever it was, it doesn't look like you had an easy time of it, either."

Sirius shook his head as he stepped over the windowsill. "The difference was that I deserved to have a tough time. Katie didn't."

"Ah, there you are," Molly came into the room and gestured toward the cloak. "I'll have that back, if you please."

As Sirius handed her the cloak, she continued, "Would you boys like some tea? I thought you were going to stay out there until Spring thaw."

Sirius managed a small smile and stepped in to hug the older woman. As he did so, he felt his emotions well up again and he shivered. "Fortunately, it didn't take that long to come to my senses, Mum," he said, pulling away and kissing her cheek. "I'm going to grab a shower and some warm clothes first, then I'll have some tea. Maybe Mooney here would rather not wait for me, yeah?"

As his best friend headed through the door, Remus looked down at Molly and smiled, "Mum?" he asked quietly.

Molly nodded, lifting up her chin a bit. "Mum," she confirmed. "I'm proud to think he'd call me that."

Remus squeezed her arm. "And I'm thrilled he finally has one. That harridan who birthed him certainly wasn't a mother to him." The normally placid werewolf had more than a little bitterness in his tone.

Molly smiled. "So I've been led to believe. Well, he won't have those problems with me. Since we seem to have chosen each other, I think we'll get along just fine. He does look a bit worse for wear at the moment, though."

Remus nodded. "I've been promised a full update once he's all washed and ironed."

Molly laughed. "Well, then, let's get some tea into you and perhaps I'll get to hear the story from him later on as well."

As they settled themselves before the fire in the Great Room, Remus gestured toward the closed bedroom door on the opposite wall. "New occupant?"

Molly followed his gaze. "Kate," she said, simply. "This morning was tiring for her and since she's well enough to be out of the hospital room now, I suppose she just picked out a room for herself."

Remus nodded, thoughtfully and accepted his tea from Molly with a smile. They chatted about Kate's recovery and what they knew about the morning's interrogation. It wasn't long before Sirius reappeared and sat in one of the chairs before the fire. Dressed in Muggle jeans, heavy boots and the sweater Kate had given him for Christmas, he gratefully accepted a steaming mug of tea from Molly with a smile that broadened a bit when she patted his cheek affectionately. Remus gave his friend a teasing roll of the eyes, and chuckled to himself when Sirius' cheeks flushed a bit.

"Tell me," Remus leaned forward to take a biscuit from the tea tray then sat back to listen to his friend relay the events of the day, filling in nicely all the interrogation details Remus had been missing from Tonks' second-hand version.

When he had finished his narrative, Sirius refilled his mug and looked his friend squarely in the eye. "So, Mooney, tell me everything you know about breaking a Wizard Oath…"

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Perhaps it isn't breaking the Oath we need to consider. Let's talk about ways to side-step the truth, shall we?"

With a sly smile, Sirius nodded his head and the two men began to strategize.

XXXXXXXX

Kate awakened to find the room in total darkness, which gave her a moment of pause until the day began flooding back to her. As she lay in the warmth of the bed, she could hear a soft rise and fall of voices outside the door and wondered if the robe could take one more transfiguration that might allow her to make it to Sirius' room and her suitcase, with her dignity intact. Sirius. A deep sense of sadness washed over Kate as she thought of him. If her talk didn't work, he was probably long gone by now. She took a deep breath and pushed back the covers then lit the gaslights with a wave of her hand. Her stomach growled, reminding Kate that she'd not eaten since breakfast and, judging by the view from her window, it was already evening. Kate walked into the bathroom and splashed water on her face, noting the faint pink puffiness beneath her eyes. She sighed and returned to the bedroom and donned and belted her robe, searching for and finding her wand in the deep pocket. Kate thought for a moment and conjured her Patronus – a lioness with huge paws, a beautiful, tawny coat and golden eyes. She knelt down and scratched the beautiful animal beneath her chin while whispering a message in her ear. After Kate straightened, the large cat disappeared through the wall and few moments later, there was a knock on her door.

Kate stepped to the door and opened it a crack to see Molly standing before her, suitcase in hand. Kate accepted it with thanks and Molly left her alone again.

The briefly opened door did not give Kate any insight as to who might belong to the voices she heard when she first awakened. All had been silent beyond the doorway.

Kate quickly dressed in heavy socks, leggings and a large woolen sweater and dragged a brush briskly through her hair before opening the door and stepping into the Great Room.

"Kate, how are you?" Remus' warm voice greeted her, but she couldn't take her eyes off the occupant of the other chair – a fact not lost on the werewolf.

"I'm fine, thank you," she murmured.

Sirius was equally reluctant to divert his attention from Kate, but a loud cough from the sofa did the trick for them both as Kate finally turned to see Dumbledore and Kingsley seated there.

Remus levitated a chair from the other side of the room and dropped it gently next to his own. He wasn't sure how things were to transpire between his friends, so he thought perhaps placing her in more neutral territory might, for the moment, be a good idea.

"Remus and I have been discussing alternatives to breaking a Wizard Oath," Sirius said, his voice slightly strained.

"Sirius has come up with quite a brilliant plan to ensure your safety in giving testimony against Mr. Malfoy, once his trial date has been established," Albus said, handing Kate a cup of tea. "Would you like to hear it?"

Kate nodded, sipping the tea gratefully and turning her attention to Sirius once again.

"It's really quite simple; I'm ashamed I didn't think of it before," he began. "You wouldn't risk a lie if you couldn't answer the question, correct?"

Kate's brows drew together in confusion, but she nodded. "I suppose. But, how could I not answer their questions? I know the truth."

Remus leaned toward her. "This evening, yes. But if we took your memories and put them in a Pensieve, you would not have any incriminating details to give the Wizengamot. Your safety against both Veritaserum and a Wizard Oath would be guaranteed!"

Kate looked from Remus to Sirius. "It is brilliant - and so simple. But, I would have to remove all of my memories of Sirius from the time I returned to London until …"

"Until the trial," Sirius finished. "But, we wouldn't have to remove the memories until just before you went to the Wizengamot to testify and we would replace them immediately upon your return."

"How would we explain my pregnancy?" Kate asked.

Remus stepped in. "We would need to invent a relationship here to support it. If pressed, we could come up with a story about a love affair that ended tragically at the hands of Death Eaters. It would certainly be believable."

Kate nodded. "What about an identity for the poor bloke?"

It was Kingsley's turn to answer. "We're in the MLE, Kate. I'm sure there's a file lying about somewhere that would give us the name of an appropriate partner for you."

Kate smiled. "Well, it certainly seems like you've done your research." She looked at Sirius with an odd expression on her face. "All of you."

Albus smiled and rose. "Well, then, it seems that we're agreed. We shall wait until the morning of the trial and I will bring a Pensieve here for you to use, Kate. You are familiar with the spell that is required?"

"I am – and I appreciate your help."

"My pleasure, my dear. I shall plan to see you again very soon. Perhaps young Mr. Potter could be spirited in to visit with his Godparents for a time," Albus' eyes twinkled merrily.

Sirius smiled broadly. "Albus, thank you. I miss the boy and would love the chance to speak with him."

"I suspect he feels the same," Albus replied, moving toward the door. "Alas, I cannot remain behind to have dinner with you. Things are … unsettled here at the moment."

Shortly after the Headmaster left, Remus, too, made his excuses, giving Kate a warm hug before letting her walk him to the door. "Good night, Remus. Thank you," she said, standing on tiptoe to kiss his cheek.

With a smile and another hug, Remus left.

"Kate?" Molly's voice carried across the room. "Come, dear. You must be starving."

Kate turned and walked to the kitchen. Sirius was nowhere to be found and her heart sank when she saw the table set for two people. Molly sat down in one of the two chairs. Kate forced a smile on her face and made herself comfortable in the other.

"Sirius won't be joining us?" Kate asked, hoping her voice sounded casual.

Molly ladled stew into Kate's bowl and handed it to her. "No. He said he had something to do and would probably eat later."

Kate nodded, turning her attention to the dinner in front of her. She tried valiantly to quell the nerves rising within her as she forced herself to swallow each mouthful until the dish was empty. "Sirius didn't mention where he was going, did he?"

Molly turned from the sink where she had just placed their dishes. "No, I don't believe he did. But I wouldn't worry, sweet. After all, there aren't many places the child can go, are there?"

Kate gave the Healer a small smile, but her heart was no lighter. Although earlier in the evening, Sirius had not given the appearance of someone preparing to flee, he also would not have wanted Molly to know what he was planning to do. It was doubtful that he would have told her. And, both Remus and Albus were in the Great Room when she awakened earlier in the evening; hadn't she told Sirius that he would have to speak with Remus … and Harry before he left. Kate felt a chill go through her as she remembered Albus' comment about Harry coming to the Annex to visit his Godfather. Perhaps plans had changed and Sirius had decided to meet with Harry in Dumbledore's office instead.

"Care for some tea, Kate?" Molly was asking.

Kate shook her head. "Thanks, but I think I'll just sit in front of the fire for awhile. I have some things to think about."

Molly walked over to Kate and gave her a hug. "Don't stay up late dwelling about what happened at the Ministry this morning, sweet. And if you're worried about Sirius, don't be. Everything's fine, love."

Kate was grateful Molly couldn't see her face when she mentioned Sirius' name. For he was, indeed, where her anxiety was focused. After a moment, Kate released the older woman and gave her a smile. "And don't you worry about me, Molly. I'm fine – really. You've been taking such good care of me, how could I not be?"

Molly looked at her appraisingly. "Well, if you're sure you don't want company, perhaps I'll go write some letters. Now that things have settled down a bit, I need to catch up on some correspondence with old friends."

Kate kissed her cheek. "Good night, Molly…and thank you – for everything."

Molly squeezed her shoulder. "It's my pleasure, sweet girl. Good night."

Kate watched until Molly had entered her room and closed the door behind her. With a sigh, she made her way to the sofa and curled up in one corner, her feet tucked beneath her. Ah, Molly, I fear that we are both in for some very hard times, if Sirius has, indeed, done what I think he has done. Kate's vision blurred as she considered her life without him – again. It's going to be harder this time around, my love, she thought to herself. We've worked through so much to get here…and now, well…now you're not here and I don't know if I can see it through this time…I'm the reason you're…

"Katie."

She started slightly; roused from her thoughts by a voice she would recognize anywhere. Kate turned her head slowly until her gaze rested on Sirius, leaning against the doorway. His face registered so many emotions, chief among them sadness, as he noted the tears that glittered on her cheeks. As Kate watched, Sirius set the package he was carrying on the side table and walked toward her.

"I thought you'd left," Kate whispered as he knelt in front of her.

Sirius shook his head and reached for her hands. "No, and I'm not going to, either. You gave me a lot to think about, Katie-girl and I realized that you were right: I was opening you up for all the guilt and misery I suffered after James and Lily died. How could I ever think of doing that to you? Then, when you told me that we were finished if I ran, I found that I couldn't face a life without any part of you in it. To know that you were somewhere but not to be allowed to see you or even contact you is too much to bear." He brought her hands to his lips and kissed them softly then continued, "It wouldn't simply destroy you, but me, as well. I love you too much, Katie." Sirius looked up at her face. "Forgive me?"

Kate nodded, whispering, "Come here."

Sirius rose then leaned down and picked Kate up, seating himself in her place and securing her in his lap. "Here?" he whispered back.

Kate shook her head, tilting her head and bringing her lips to his. "Here," she whispered against them then kissed him. It took less than a moment for Sirius to respond, deepening the kiss and bringing his hands to tangle in her hair. He flicked his tongue against her lower lip, whispering, "and here?" He felt her nod. "Oh, yes – there," Kate breathed, opening to allow him entrance and, for a time, there were no more words.

After awhile, Kate broke their kiss and lifted her head to look into his eyes, which were now heavily lidded and dark with passion. "I love you," she said quietly, running her hand through his hair and rubbing his scalp gently.

"Mmm," Sirius breathed. "I love you so much, Kate; so much."

Kate placed a gentle kiss on his forehead then moved to rise but Sirius tightened his grip on her waist. "Here," he said, one corner of his mouth turning up slightly.

Kate leaned forward and ran her tongue along his lower lip then pulled back. Lifting her chin in the direction of the bedrooms, she whispered, "There" and followed it up with a deep kiss. When they broke apart, Sirius raised his eyebrows and gave her a confused look.

"But, you can't…I mean, you said you weren't…" he stammered but fell silent when Kate kissed him again. This time, when she broke their kiss and stood, Sirius allowed her to do so and took the hand she extended to help him rise, as well.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Kate kissed the corners of his mouth, then his lips. "I'm fine," she whispered against his lips then nibbled on the wiry hair of his mustache before pulling away and looking him in the eye. "Let me show you," she murmured, releasing his neck and recapturing his hand.

They walked slowly toward Sirius' bedroom door, pausing every now and again to kiss, to embrace each other. Finally, they reached the doorway and Sirius scooped her up in his arms and carried her inside. Once there, Kate kissed his cheek then smiled as she extended her hand and gave the door a firm push and, with a "click" they were closed off from everything but each other.


	59. A Visit From Harry

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

The first hint of sunlight peeked through the window blinds, casting a pinkish light into the room. Sirius blinked rapidly as the light fell across his face, awakening him from what had been a light sleep. Feeling warm breath against his neck, he looked down and saw Kate asleep against his shoulder, a faint flush on her cheeks and her auburn hair tousled against the stark white of the pillowslip. As Sirius continued to watch her, his thoughts turned to the night before and he smiled. Their lovemaking had always been passionate, deeply intimate, emotionally charged and more than mutually satisfying. Last night, though, all of that had risen to a new level. Everything they'd been through – all the confusion, misunderstandings, grief and anger – had been cast out. The lessons they had learned from those troubles had been stripped away and absorbed into their relationship, infusing it with greater strength, and bonding the two of them more tightly together. Last night had been unlike anything Sirius had ever experienced. The love he felt for Kate burned inside him and, looking in her eyes, he knew she felt the same. They touched each other with as much wonder as desire, as much tenderness as arousal and with more love than either had ever thought to feel. When they were joined, neither could look away from the other's eyes and when they released, together, it was blinding, pure and the most intense emotional and physical experience they had ever had. Sirius placed a small kiss on Kate's hair. They had stayed together for a very long time, legs and arms wrapped around one another; their gazes locked. There were no words and they had eventually fallen asleep, only to awaken a couple of hours later to make love to each other again – tenderly, sweetly, knowing that they had survived incredible battles – only to emerge stronger and more deeply committed.

Kate shifted in his arms and soon, Sirius was gazing into her eyes. "Good morning, love," he whispered, kissing her lips gently. She blinked a few more times then reached up and entwined her fingers in his hair, gently pulling him down for another, longer kiss. "Good morning, darling," she returned. "How long have you been awake?"

"Not long. I've been watching you; remembering last night," Sirius kissed her again.

Kate smiled, stroking his face. "Mmm. We didn't get much sleep, did we?"

"No; that we didn't." Sirius put his head down on the pillow next to hers and moved close enough that their noses were touching. "Tired?" He kissed the tip of her nose.

Kate shook her head. "Oddly, no. You?"

"Nope. Wide awake." Sirius kissed her shoulder. "I love you," his eyes were soft as he watched the play of emotions across her face.

"I love you, Sirius; I love you so very much," Kate replied, kissing him yet again.

They settled further down into the warmth of the bed, holding one another in silence for awhile longer, relishing the simple act of being alone, together.

"How long do you think we could stay here, just like this, before they sent out a search party?" Kate asked, stroking his hair.

Sirius chuckled. "Not long, love. And there wouldn't be a search party. They'd send in that little white-haired woman to roust us out. I don't know about you, but I think it might ruin my future performance."

Kate wriggled away from him at that and sat on the edge of the bed. "In that case, Mr. Black, I'm heading for the shower. I don't want to take any chances with your … performance!" Wrapping the sheet around her, she made a very slow trip across the room, trying valiantly not to trip over her make-shift toga. Kate had no more than made it into the bathroom when they heard a knock on the door. Kate quickly closed herself into the bathroom while Sirius called, "Just a moment," and struggled into a pair of sleep pants. Finally presentable, he cracked open the door to find Remus standing there.

"'morning, Padfoot," the werewolf smiled. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did, Mooney, thank you," Sirius returned, jovially, opening the door wider. "Now, what would bring you to my door at this horrid hour? Is it your turn to play chaperone? Because if it is…" he paused, waggled his eyebrows and leaned closer to his friend, "you're a bit late."

"I'll just file that under 'things I really didn't need to know', shall I?" Remus' affectionate smile drove home the tease. "Albus wants to come and have breakfast with us this morning." His eyes took in Sirius' apparel with a raised eyebrow. "You might want to put on some robes."

XXXXXXXX

A short while later, Kate, Sirius, Remus and Albus were seated around the kitchen table, eating the breakfast that Sirius had cooked for them. With Kate doing much better and Sirius staying with her, Molly felt she could afford to take a couple of days and attend to some affairs of her own back in London.

Once they had finished, Albus cleared his throat and began to speak. "As you know, Harry has been taking Occlumency lessons from Severus since the holiday break, but the lessons are not going as well as I might have hoped. There is a natural discord between the two which I am convinced is disallowing any type of progress to be made."

"What has Snape done?" Sirius asked, his voice clipped.

Albus frowned at the younger wizard. "Sirius, it is imperative that Harry hears the proper message – and heeds it. You need to put your personal feelings aside and focus on a positive delivery. You are his guardian, Sirius. You have frequently expressed your frustration with both me and your inability to protect Harry as you feel you should." He paused, fixing Sirius with a stern and focused gaze. "This is an opportunity for you to fulfill your responsibilities as Harry's Godfather. To keep your promise to James and Lily. To protect Harry."

Sirius met the Headmaster's gaze unflinchingly, but a muscle in his jaw twitched visibly. "When would this conversation take place?" he asked.

Dumbledore's posture relaxed slightly. "As soon as possible. Perhaps this afternoon?"

Sirius nodded once. "We'll meet here, I imagine?"

"Yes. I will apprise Harry of the circumstances surrounding your presence here." Albus glanced at Kate. "Both of you. In addition to your conversation about his Occlumency lessons, Sirius, I would like you to reiterate the need for complete secrecy regarding The Annex. I don't need to tell anyone in this room how critical it is that no one other than ourselves knows of its existence. Dolores Umbridge is curious enough about all activities – and controlling them – as it is.

Everyone around the table agreed.

"Regrettably, this will mean that Harry's visits here will be minimal, at best. He will be prohibited from knowing where we are and I alone will handle his transport." Albus paused. "My position here may be tenuous, given the Ministry's increasing hold on Hogwarts. My availability to bring Harry to you may be compromised. This will be difficult for the boy to accept. He may easily expect to have another party take my place; to have more free access to you than will be possible."

"Shouldn't there be a new Secret Keeper for The Annex, given what you've told us?" Sirius asked.

Dumbledore nodded. "There should, indeed," he confirmed. "And I've made provisions accordingly. However, they will not be made known until I am no longer able to act in that capacity. Now, I shall bring Harry to you after the lunch break. I believe he is free this afternoon."

"No Quidditch today?" Kate asked.

"Professor Umbridge has disbanded all student organizations," Dumbledore responded, quietly.

"Including Quidditch?" Sirius was incredulous. "What possible harm can a sport like Quidditch present to her?"

"None. It's a control issue, Padfoot," Remus interjected bitterly. "As per usual. Excuse me." The werewolf rose and walked into the Great Room.

"I'll go," Kate murmured to Sirius, who had begun to rise. "Stay and finish your discussion."

XXXXXXXX

Kate found Remus in front of the hearth, hands obviously clenched in his pockets, back rigid. She approached him cautiously and placed a gentle hand on his back. "I'm so sorry, Remus. I know how miserable your life is because of this awful woman."

Remus turned and his face reflected his emotions. "It doesn't just impact me, Katie," he said miserably. "Do you now understand why I can't have a relationship with Dora?"

Kate stepped up and wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. "Every time that woman infiltrates and takes control of another aspect of our lives, I remember anew the restrictions already placed on mine." Remus continued quietly, his voice rumbling beneath Kate's ear, where it rested against his chest.

"You're a good man, Remus," she replied. "You're honest, intelligent and a true gentleman. One night each month, a curse you suffer outwardly manifests itself. You take a potion that manages your condition; one that gives you control. There's no reason why you cannot be with the woman you love – and who loves you."

Remus leaned back so he could see her face. He smiled sadly, although his eyes were overly bright. "And support her how?"

Kate hugged him tightly again before stepping away. "You must know that Tonks doesn't care about that, Remus. You must know how much she loves you."

Remus swallowed hard before answering. "I do," he said hoarsely. "But I've tried so hard to discourage her."

Kate smiled. "How's that working out?"

Remus looked away from her.

"I thought so," Kate said, softly. "Remus, my dearest friend, she doesn't care."

"But I do," he replied sadly.

"Remus, I cannot tell you how to live your life, but consider this: that which you miss the most – love – is standing there waiting for you. She knows everything about you and yet, she doesn't care. She loves you. Your value, in her eyes, exceeds material things. She. Loves. You." Kate said firmly. "Take your happiness. Live your life."

Remus looked at her imploringly. "And how long would it be before she began to resent me, Kate? How long before she realized that she was saddled with someone who couldn't care for her the way another wizard could? A wizard who was employable. Completely human. No. It's better this way. If I can keep her as my friend, I'll be happy."

Kate sighed, exasperated. "And what of Tonks, Remus? Will she be happy?"

Remus shook his head. "Perhaps not right away, but eventually, I have to believe that she will be. And, most importantly, she'll be safe. And she will find someone who can take proper care of her; someone who won't compromise her career with the Ministry or cause her embarrassment."

Kate folded her arms across her chest. "Remus, do you remember the conversation we had in the kitchen at Grimmauld the night I first arrived back in London?" At his nod, she continued. "We talked about Dolores Umbridge and all she tried to do in America; all she failed to do. We talked about the need to fight her and all those like her to make sure they didn't take an irreversible hold on our way of life. You can't do that, Remus, if you give up. That's what you're doing, you know…you're giving up. That's not like you."

Remus' expression was firm. "I'm not giving up, Kate. I'm protecting Tonks in the only way I know how."

"Remus, Sirius and I just learned a very valuable, if painful lesson about protecting those we love. When we make assumptions about their safety and how they feel about the steps we take to ensure it, things often go down hill very quickly. Please keep that in mind as you pursue your protection plan for Tonks, won't you?" Kate put her hand on his arm. "I care for you very much, Remus and I'm quite fond of Tonks, as well. Personally, I think she's perfect for you – as you are for her. She's a strong woman, Remus; I think you're selling her quite short. I believe she can handle the wolf – and the stubborn wizard he inhabits – very well, indeed."

Remus managed to muster a small smile at these words. "While I will allow that it's possible, I cannot allow that thought to dictate my actions. No potion is foolproof and, as such, I cannot guarantee her safety. Unless that should ever change, I cannot allow myself the luxury of her."

"I don't agree with you but it seems that I'm not going to change your mind," Kate said.

"Kate, it's not that I don't appreciate what you're trying to do. I know that you care about me. This goes beyond all of that, though," Remus looked at her imploringly. "Please, just let it go."

Kate hugged him again. "I will; for now."

"Kate?" Sirius' voice was hesitant. "I hate to interrupt, but…"

It was Remus who answered. "It's fine, Padfoot. We just finished our conversation. What is it?"

"Dobby just brought Dumbledore a message from Kingsley. Katie-girl, Malfoy's trial has been scheduled to begin the day after tomorrow," Sirius told her, watching her reaction carefully. "Kingsley would like to meet with us this evening to discuss our strategy for your testimony."

Kate drew a deep breath. In theory, the removal of her memories of Sirius – however temporary – was an acceptable means to an end: convicting Lucius Malfoy. Hearing the plan verbalized and knowing that its implementation was so close, however, was more daunting. "Where shall we meet him?"

"Here, I believe," Sirius said. "It will be more practical."

Kate nodded. "Will you be here?"

Sirius crossed the room and took Kate in his arms. "Yes, my love. I will be with you as long as I am allowed to be. And I will be waiting for you here when you return. It will be fine."

Kate leaned back to look at him. "Of course it will," she agreed, smiling. But to be stripped of all recent memories of Sirius seemed, at the moment, anything but fine.

XXXXXX

After lunch, Albus Floo'd The Annex, announcing that he was coming through with Harry. Sirius and Kate had been sitting together on the couch, reading, and stood to wait for the two to arrive. Presently, Albus stepped from the green flames with Harry firmly in his grasp. Sirius stepped forward and placed his hands on Harry's shoulders as Albus stepped behind the boy and removed the blindfold that covered his eyes.

Harry blinked rapidly several times then smiled as his Godfather's face lost its blurred appearance. The two embraced warmly, standing together for several moments before Sirius stepped backward to look at him more closely. "Alright there, Harry?" he asked.

Harry nodded. "Where's Kate?" he asked. Clearly, Albus had told him the agreed-upon version of the story of Kate's attack: "random" Death Eaters. Absolutely no names. Kate and Sirius shared a brief glance then Sirius gently turned Harry around to face her.

Harry's eyes got suspiciously bright as he looked at his Godmother. Kate smiled and opened her arms and the young wizard closed the distance between them quickly, stepping into her arms. She was momentarily startled by the strength and ferociousness of his embrace and hugged him tightly to her. "Ok?" she murmured, resting her cheek against the top of his head. Kate felt him nod against her shoulder. "I'm fine, you know," she reassured him. "No permanent damage done."

Harry relaxed his hold round her waist and stepped back to look at her. When he'd finished his scrutiny, he reached his fingers beneath his glasses and rubbed his eyes roughly. "Professor Dumbledore told me that you'd been hurt fairly badly," he said quietly. "I was worried."

Kate shook her head and patted his cheek. "No need, darling. I'm really fine now. As you can plainly see, right?"

Harry nodded, finally smiling at her. "I'm glad, Kate," he said, stepping forward and kissing her cheek. "Really. Glad."

Kate hugged him tightly again, exchanging a tender look with Sirius before releasing the boy and gesturing toward the sofa. "Let's sit down and talk, yes?"

Harry nodded and took a seat next to Kate while Sirius, with a small smile, turned around both wing back chairs until they faced the sofa; he and the Headmaster seated themselves.

"Harry, I'm only going to stay for a moment, and then I'll leave you to visit with Kate and Sirius for awhile. When I return, however, you'll need to come back with me," Albus began. It was obvious from Harry's brief nod and the expression on his face that he had already been told that his time with his Godparents was limited – and that he was none too happy about it.

"I know it's difficult, son," Albus continued. "But it is for Sirius' safety – and our own – that our travel arrangements remain as I've explained them."

Harry's face softened a bit at those words. "Can I come back sometime?" he wanted to know.

"Let's talk about that later, yeah?" Sirius responded. "I need to speak with you about something else first." He glanced sideways at his former Headmaster, thinking how ironic it was that he, Sirius Black, infamous Marauder, escaped convict of Azkaban, was being left to admonish a young wizard about disobedience of rules.

Albus rose and glanced down at Sirius with his customary twinkle. It was almost as if the man had divined his thoughts. "Listen well to your Godfather, Harry. I will be back later." With that, Albus walked to the hearth, tossed a pinch of Floo powder into the flames and, with a blaze of green light, disappeared.

"Why do you want to talk to me, Sirius?" Harry took the direct approach, Sirius noted. So very like James.

"First of all, Harry, I want you to know that the irony of me being the person to have this conversation with you is not lost on me," Sirius began, smiling wryly.

"I already know about girls," Harry grinned cheekily, earning a chuckle from Sirius.

"I'm sure you do," Sirius responded. "But this particular conversation has nothing whatsoever to do with the opposite sex. Sex of any kind, really. Thankfully, I'd say."

"Sirius," Kate admonished, the stern tone of her voice totally cancelled out by her attempts to hide a smile.

"What? I'm just clarifying the topic," Sirius gave her what he thought was his most convincing look of innocence. He knew immediately that Kate was not fooled; she'd seen it before.

Kate rose, then leaned down and kissed Harry on top of his head. "I'll let you two get on with it in private," she said. "I'll catch up on some reading. Sirius, please come and get me when you're finished so I can say goodbye, yes?"

Harry reached for Kate's hand. "You don't really have to leave, you know. We don't mind if you stay."

Kate glanced at Sirius then sat down again. "Harry, what's wrong? You're not really in trouble, you know."

Sirius nodded vigorously. "Really, Harry, can you picture me in the role of disciplinarian? Me?"

Harry shook his head, smiling sadly. "No, Sirius, it's not that, really. It's just that Dumbledore said I won't be able to come here very often and I don't know when I'll see the two of you again. If you don't mind, I'd just as soon have Kate stay."

Sirius smiled. "I don't mind one bit, Harry. Katie-girl, make yourself comfortable."

After a moment of thought, Sirius began. "Harry, I know that your Occlumency lessons with Sn – with Professor Snape have not gone at all well. According to what the Headmaster told me earlier today, they have all but broken down completely. Harry…"

"Sirius, you don't understand!" the young wizard spoke up, his voice rising, looking his Godfather directly in the eye. "Snape's horrid! He keeps us down in that dungeon for hours. He never gives me a chance to recover before he pushes back into my mind again. He dredges up my most personal thoughts and memories. He makes fun of them, of the people I love. He…"

"He's trying to teach you to close your mind against intrusion, Harry. Voldemort will do far worse than dredge up memories and laugh at them," Sirius interrupted, hating the incredulous look on Harry's face at his words and pushing onward. "You must do as Snape tells you, Harry. It's vital that you resume these lessons and that you do everything you can to learn what only he can teach you."

Harry shook his head. "It doesn't matter anyway. Snape's refused to teach me anymore. He said that the lessons were over."

Sirius leaned forward. "Harry, Dumbledore told me about that this morning. He is speaking with Snape – probably is doing so right now. Your lessons will resume and you must apply yourself to them. Harry, this isn't a game. You must be able to block Voldemort from taking possession of your mind. If he does so, he can destroy you."

"I thought you'd understand. You, of all people. I thought you would be on my side," Harry fumed, rising to his feet.

Sirius quickly wiped the panic from his expression and the angry teenager did not see; Kate, however, noticed and knew that this exchange between Sirius and Harry was causing Sirius considerable pain. The one thing he feared was the loss of Harry's love and respect. Harry's anger, directed at him, was much the same thing to the older man.

"Harry, I do understand and I am on your side. Completely. I don't like Snape any more than you do, but he can teach you what you need to master to ensure that you remain safe. Harry, don't you understand? If he can do that for you, I'd happily shake the man's hand and call him wonderful. It's all for you," Sirius' face implored the younger wizard to see reason.

Harry sat back down heavily on the couch. After some time, he looked up at Sirius and shook his head. "I hate this, Sirius," he said.

"I know."

"It's so hard to completely clear my mind every night."

"I know."

"It's hard to have Snape tramping around in my memories."

"Then learn to keep him – and everyone else out of them," Sirius said, his voice gentle but firm.

Harry thought for awhile then nodded. "I'll try, Sirius. I promise that if Dumbledore can get him to agree to teach me again, I will try to learn."

Sirius rose and went to kneel before his Godson. Taking his hands, Sirius smiled up at the boy. "That's all anyone can ask of you, Harry. I'm proud of you for giving your promise. I'm proud of you for trying. You must stay safe, Harry. You must."

"I know, Sirius, really I do. I'll keep my promise."

"I know you will, Harry. I know you will," Sirius said, rising. "There's one more thing we need to discuss. This place."

"I know – Sirius, I know you can't tell me, but how are you here and not at Grimmauld Place?" Harry asked.

"You're right, I can't tell you exactly where we are, but it has magical properties very like Headquarters. It cannot be seen by anyone other than those who know of its existence," Sirius explained.

"So., Dumbledore's the Secret Keeper for this place, too?"

"Smart, Harry. Got it in one," Kate chimed in. "Yes, he is. And he would be required to bring you here; no one else could do it. And we cannot talk about it. No one can know it exists."

"Dumbledore told me. Kate, Sirius, I don't think I'll be able to visit you very often," Harry said.

"Perhaps not right now," Sirius said. "But Harry, soon. I promise you. When all this is over, we will be a family. You'll see. We'll be together. All of us."

Harry nodded. "I know we will, Sirius. It just seems so far away sometimes."

"We'll get there," Sirius promised him.


	60. Memories Once Removed

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Kingsley arrived early in the evening with Remus, Tonks and Dumbledore joining shortly thereafter. Tonks and Kate would offer testimony about the events that occurred at Hogsmeade Station, while Kingsley would be allowed to remain in the gallery of the trial room as he technically supervised both Aurors and had been in on the covert operation at another location. If needed, he could speak to the plans and how the information had come into their hands. Kingsley confirmed that while Tonks – and he, if required – would testify without magical compulsion, Veritaserum would be administered to Kate – at the request of Malfoy's solicitor. Also at Malfoy's request, Severus Snape was tasked with brewing the serum for use in his case.

"So, my memory will need to be modified," Kate confirmed. She felt Sirius' hand clasp hers where it rested in her lap.

"Temporarily, yes," Kingsley said. "Having Severus brew the Veritaserum is in our favor. We will be certain of the integrity of the brewer and the resulting potion. Ordinarily, I would consider eliminating the memory modification portion of our strategy in favor of Severus substituting something innocuous for the actual Veritaserum. I can't be certain Malfoy's solicitor won't test the validity of the brew prior to its administration, however."

Kate nodded. "It's too dangerous." She squeezed Sirius' hand gently; she knew he'd had about enough of Severus Snape for one day. Kate smiled when she felt a gentle pressure against her fingers in return.

"Kingsley, can we review the game plan?" Tonks asked from her seat next to Remus.

With a nod, Kingsley began to speak. "Kate, Tonks is before you on the witness list. Fudge will conduct all interrogations, although any and all members of the Wizengamot may also ask questions of any of us. As you all know," Kingsley paused to look around the table. The defense solicitor, Llewellyn Jarvis, does not have to share anything about their defense. We suspect, however, that the basis of Tonks' testimony will deal with how we knew there would be activity at the Station that night. Spear, of course, will be brought in as a Ministry witness. His role in facilitating the Azkaban break-out will be introduced by Fudge as the basis for his "compelled" testimony. He, too, will testify under the influence of Veritaserum. He will be compelled to state his role in the battle that night. He will tell what he saw once there. They fought without masks. Tonks will testify to that, as well."

"And Kate will testify to Malfoy's use of an Unforgivable – namely, the Cruciatus," Sirius interjected, receiving a nod from the senior Auror in return.

"Kate, Jarvis will be ruthless in his attempt to discredit you. He may ask about your life in America. He will ask about your relationship with Sirius back in the first War. He will also try to create the idea that there has been contact since his escape. He will ask about the rumored pregnancy, Katie, and we suspect that he will be merciless. If Malfoy's convicted, it will be solely due to your testimony. Jarvis will be instructed to pull whatever tactics he can to discredit you."

Tonks spoke up. "But, the murders at St. Mungo's will surely factor into the Wizengamot's deliberations, as well?"

Remus shook his head. "Circumstantial," he said. "Many people - including the Minister – were in the vicinity of both crimes when they occurred. The entire staff of St. Mungo's could be considered suspect, as could the entire team of Unspeakables at the Ministry. Allegations based on Lucius' presence in the Ministry for the attack and, later, at St. Mungo's are unlikely to stand up in court as independent, reliable evidence of his guilt."

"But Spear's testimony," Tonks pressed. "He spoke of those crimes during his little chat with Malfoy in Totland."

"Which Kate and Remus heard," Sirius interjected. "And if Kate is being discredited, they will hardly believe her. And Remus…"

"I can't testify, Dora," Remus said, his face flushed. "As a werewolf, I am not permitted to offer testimony in any matter before the Wizengamot."

"Bollocks!" Tonks cursed vehemently. "You're a wizard, Remus. You fought bravely against those Death Eaters, same as Kate; same as I did. They're a lot of bloody tossers if they think for a minute that you aren't every bit as good as they are!"

Kate stole a glance at Remus. He was looking down at his hands and remained silent.

"Tonks," she said quietly, nonetheless catching the young woman's attention. "If Lucius testifies, which I doubt Jarvis will allow him to do, there's the chance that Spear's conversation could be brought out at that time through Fudge's questioning. I would imagine, however, that Jarvis would counter with a comment that Spear would have said anything to Malfoy to gain his favor as well as a higher ranking in Voldemort's followers. If Remus were to testify to what we both heard in Totland, the end result would be the same. It would receive little merit given what Spear would have hoped to attain by making those comments."

"Precisely," Dumbledore said, nodding approvingly at Kate. "It will be your testimony, Kate, which convicts Malfoy – should that happy occasion occur. This is why you will remain here, at The Annex, for the foreseeable future."

"Other than tomorrow night," Kate offered.

"Correct, my dear," Dumbledore stated. "Kingsley, perhaps now is the time to discuss that portion of the plan."

Kingsley cleared his throat then fixed his gaze on Sirius and Kate. "Kate, tomorrow evening, we will meet here, then travel to Tonks' flat and all memories you have of Sirius since his arrest will be extracted and held for you until your testimony is complete."

"I'll need a Pensieve," Kate said.

"Sirius?" Dumbledore turned to the younger wizard.

Sirius squeezed Kate's hand again to get her attention. "Katie, last night I went to Grimmauld. It took awhile, but I found my old Pensieve. If you have to put memories of me somewhere, it seems fitting that you would use it. It makes me feel as if I'm with you somehow." He flushed a bit.

Kate leaned over and kissed his cheek gently. "Thank you, darling," she whispered against his skin. Turning back to the group around the table, Kate continued, "Once my memories are extracted, Kingsley, what will happen then?"

"We will provide you with an edited version of your initial conversation with Dumbledore and Remus. Remus will not appear in the edited event. We will alter the reason for your return from America, as well. There's one other thing. Kate, we believe that we can no longer deny your pregnancy. It's too risky. Spear has connections to St Mungo's, after all. He would have had to have them to gain the access he did. Jarvis is much too cagey; if there's any way to have discovered your true condition, he will have done so. We know – obviously – that we cannot disclose the true paternity of the child. Therefore, we have found an alternate "partner" with whom, per an altered memory, you will have had an affair and by whom you will have become pregnant. The actual individual was a transient wizard, assigned to the British Muggle Consulate for a very brief period. He was killed two weeks before the Hogsmeade Station incident."

Kate sucked in a sharp breath. "You've certainly been thorough. How will this new reality become part of my memory?"

Kingsley smiled. "We will administer a sleeping drought and slip them into your subconscious after you're asleep. They will be framed up so they make sense to you and your conscious mind and you will deliver them quite naturally as part of your testimony."

"And these 'altered memories' will be retrieved after Kate's testimony is complete?" Sirius sought to verify the process for Kate's benefit as well as his own.

Albus nodded. "Once Kate's testimony has concluded, and we know that she will not be re-called for any reason, we will return to Tonks' flat and, in effect, reverse the process, destroying the fabricated events. Kate will then return to The Annex."

"Is Kate at risk – at all – during any part of this 'memory switch' process?" Sirius asked. "Is it possible that any of her own memories could be lost to her? Could she forget – "

Remus knew instinctively where his friend was headed. "Padfoot," he said, gently. "This type of transfer has been done successfully many times. Those of us who will be assisting – Albus, Tonks, me – care deeply for you both and will be certain to handle both transfers with the utmost thoroughness and caution. We promise you both – Kate will not forget you, Padfoot."

Sirius cleared his throat and nodded, unable to speak for a moment. Kate reached over and placed her hand on his knee, squeezing gently. "Never," she whispered so only he could hear. He immediately lifted her hand and clasped it tightly in both of his.

"Are there any other questions?" Kingsley asked.

"No, you've thought of everything, it seems," Kate responded.

"Well, we've been over it many times," Kingsley stated, rising. "Sirius, remember that you will need to absent yourself when we arrive tomorrow evening. There will need to be a definitive end to Kate's current memories of you."

Sirius nodded, but his face reflected his deep sadness.

"Kate, you should have an overnight bag packed so Tonks can stop by and pick it up tomorrow sometime," Kingsley advised.

"Excellent idea," Kate replied. "I'll have one ready sometime before lunch, Tonks. You can pick it up at your convenience."

"Thanks, Kate," the younger woman smiled at her.

"Well, then. It seems we're finished for the evening," Albus rose. "Kate, Sirius – good night. We'll see you tomorrow evening."

Sirius released Kate's hand and rose as well. "Remus, could I have a word?"

The two wizards huddled briefly at one end of the room while Kate stood with the others near the hearth. Albus touched her arm briefly. "Thank you, Kate. I know how trying this has been for you. I appreciate your commitment to seeing this through."

Kate smiled at the Headmaster. "I want him convicted as much as – perhaps more than – anyone, Albus. Please, when you see Severus, give him my thanks for the Veritaserum. I now I have nothing to fear from any potion that comes from his hand."

Albus smiled gently at her. "I will, my dear. I'm sure he would appreciate hearing that. Thank you – and you, Sirius, for speaking with Harry earlier today," he added. "Their lessons will resume tomorrow."

Kate smiled. "Excellent news. Sirius is responsible for Harry's renewed commitment. Albus, not I."

Sirius and Remus had rejoined the group and, as Sirius placed his arm about her waist, Kate noticed Remus putting something shiny in his pocket. It was concealed before Kate could identify the object. She turned to ask Sirius about it and noted that he, too, was watching Remus as he withdrew his now-empty hand from the pocket of his robes. His sigh of relief ruffled Kate's hair, but when their eyes met, Sirius simply smiled. "I'm glad Harry understood the message," was all that he said. As the group took their leave, the activity diverted Kate from further thought about the incident.

When the last of their friends had disappeared via Floo, Sirius pulled Kate into his arms. Kissing her lips tenderly once, then again, Sirius then moved his lips to her ear. "Come with me, my love," he whispered, his tongue than tracing the shell of her ear. "If you're going to have to extract memories of me tomorrow, I'm going to create one tonight that will make that Pensieve sizzle."

Kate shivered at the obvious lust in his voice and allowed Sirius to lead her into his bedroom.

XXXXXXXX

The following evening, Kate found herself growing more and more apprehensive as she and Sirius waited for the team to arrive. The Pensieve was nestled on Kate's lap, ready for use.

"It will be fine, Katie-girl," Sirius murmured, kissing her temple. "By this time tomorrow, you'll be back and we'll be together again."

Kate nodded, her throat too constricted to speak. She gave herself a few moments, and then whispered, "You know how deeply I love you, yes?"

Sirius placed two fingers under her chin and gently turned her face to his. "Yes, Katie; yes, I do. I feel it every moment of every day." He raised his hand and touched her temple. "Even if I'm not here," he murmured, dropping his hand until it rested over her heart. "I live in here, yeah?"

"Yeah," Kate whispered, her eyes shining with tears. She reached behind his neck and gently pulled him toward her for a blistering kiss. As he pulled back, long moments later, the room was illuminated in green light. Almost immediately, Remus stepped into the room, followed by Dumbledore.

"It's time, my dear," Albus intoned.

Sirius rose them leaned down and kissed the tears from Kate's face then placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "I'll see you tomorrow night," he whispered. "I love you, Katie-girl."

"I love you, Sirius," Kate whispered back.

Sirius rose, nodded once at Remus and strode swiftly from the room.

Kate took a deep breath to compose herself. "I'm ready," she said finally. "Let's do this." They Floo'd to Tonks' London flat where the young Auror was waiting.

Over the next hour, Kate withdrew all post-arrest memories of Sirius from her mind, adding one luminous strand after another to Sirius' Pensieve. When the last memory had been extracted and added to the shimmering, swirling mass, Remus uncorked a flask and gave it to Kate to drink. When she was safely and deeply asleep, Albus stepped forward, extracted all memories of The Annex, of Remus, of the memory transfer and their travel to London, adding all to the Pensieve. Once this phase was complete, Albus drew a deep breath, raised his wand and began to insert the newly created "memories" of Kate's return to London and her affair with the young Consulate official, Devon Highgate, weaving them tightly throughout the reality of events that remained in her mind. The Annex became a private Abbey, where Kate received care from their staff Healer who, of course, was Molly Selkirk. Remus was depicted as an unpaid informant – an operative who supplied useful information to Kingsley. This would give Remus a legitimate reason to be present at Malfoy's trial, something for which the werewolf was extremely grateful. Grimly, Remus thought of his dearest friend – his brother, forced to wait, yet again, while the woman he loved faced one of Voldemort's own. I'll represent you, Padfoot, he thought as he watched Dumbledore complete the final wand movements that would set the new images in Kate's mind. You'll be there through me, he vowed.

Dumbledore rose to his feet wearily, his work finally completed.

"Are you alright, Albus?" Remus caught the old wizard by the arm, steadying him.

"Yes, dear boy," Albus replied. "It takes a great deal of energy and focus to invoke that spell. I fear my age is, indeed, showing this evening."

"You should get some rest, Albus," the werewolf advised. "I'm staying at The Leaky Cauldron for the night. Shall I see if I can book a room for you, as well?"

Albus patted Remus on the arm. "No, thank you, son," he said, smiling at Remus affectionately. "I believe I'll drop in on Aberforth; he generally has an extra room available. I'll stay there and await word from you tomorrow." He turned and glanced at Kate. "Miss Tonks, take good care of our Kate, won't you?"

"Count on me, Headmaster," Tonks said, standing up a bit straighter at his words.

She walked both men to the door, putting her hand on Remus' arm as he paused to allow Albus through the door first. "Have a good night, Remus," she said quietly.

Remus smiled down at her. "Sleep well, Dora," he replied. "I'll see you in the morning. You'd better find a safe place for those," he gestured toward the Pensieve.

Tonks nodded then closed and locked the door behind him.

XXXXXXXX

Kate awakened and stretched as she took in her surroundings. She smiled as she noted the eclectic decorating style of the young Auror. The room was as colorful and bright as Tonks herself, Kate thought, sitting up and swinging her legs over the side of the bed. Rising, Kate spotted her small suitcase in one corner. She removed her cosmetic case and made her way into the adjoining bathroom to shower. As she let the water sluice over her skin, Kate thought back through the events of the past few weeks. Losing Devon, then their child had been more difficult than anything in her recent memory. Kate's hand dropped to her abdomen and she was struck again by the sense of emptiness she still felt. She closed here eyes and, for a moment, Malfoy's face appeared before her. Icy blue eyes, the cruel sneer of thin lips directing the Cruciatus curse that had done such damage. Kate shuddered. No. This will not do at all. Kate knew that she could ill afford to allow her emotions to get the better of her. Her testimony was critical to Malfoy's ultimate conviction and Kate felt that she owed it to Devon, their child - and to herself to hold it together. With that in mind, Kate quickly finished her shower, dried her hair and applied very light makeup before returning to Tonks' bedroom to dress.

A short while later, Kate walked into the living room, immediately recognizing the rich aroma of coffee. Turning toward the tiny kitchen, Kate caught sight of the pink-haired Auror, leaning against the counter.

"Wotcher, Kate!" she greeted the other woman. "Coffee?"

"Absolutely," Kate smiled. "Thanks."

"Did you sleep well?" Tonks asked as she poured.

"Yes, but I feel guilty having put you out of your bed," Kate said, smiling at the younger woman. "It's only one night, after all. I could certainly have slept on the sofa and been perfectly fine."

Tonks shook her head vigorously. "Not after everything you've been through. Besides, I've slept on the couch before. I'm used to it!"

"Well, I appreciate your hospitality – not to mention the company. Staying in a room at the Leaky Cauldron is convenient, but not very homey, I'm afraid. The Abbey, while not my choice, obviously, has been a bit nicer. Molly's been wonderful to me, as well."

Tonks nodded. Dumbledore certainly is an amazing wizard. If Kate's testimony comes across half as naturally as her last statements, Malfoy is as good as convicted.

"What time will Kingsley and Remus be coming by to collect us?" Kate wanted to know.

"Oh, they should be along anytime now," Tonks responded.

Kate picked up on the slight wistfulness in Tonks' tone. She reached over and put her hand on the girl's arm. "Remus is still being stubborn, is he?"

Tonks raised her head and met Kate's eyes; the older woman caught her breath at the pain she saw reflected there. "He just won't listen to me, Kate. I can't seem to convince him that I care about him and don't give a rap about any 'stigma' attached to him."

Kate squeezed her arm gently. "Just stay with it, Tonks; don't give up on him. I've known Remus a very long time and he's stubborn. Fight for what you want. If it's meant to be, you'll wear him down eventually."

Tonks looked a bit more hopeful. "Do you think so, Kate? Truly?"

Kate nodded. "I do."

"Thank you," Tonks' heart-shaped face was touchingly sincere. "You knew him when you were at Hogwarts together, right?"

Kate's face closed and her smile faded. Bollocks, Tonks thought. I should have remembered. She knew all of them: Remus. James. Sirius.

"Yes," Kate's tone was clipped. "I knew Remus in school. I don't like to remember those days…"

"Kate, I'm sorry. I overstepped. I should have remembered…please, forgive me," Tonks was appropriately solemn.

Kate shook her head, sadly. "No, please – forgive me," she said. "My emotions are still fairly close to the surface after Devon and the baby. Of course, now that Black is on the run and Harry's at risk, memories of those days are difficult to experience."

Tonks was grateful for her Auror training. Hearing Kate speak so bitterly about Sirius was shocking, even though she knew why it was happening. Fortunately, she was rescued from further comment by a knock on her door.

"That must be Remus," Tonks said, walking to the door. A moment later, Kingsley and Remus were standing in Tonks' small living room.

"Sleep well, Kate?" Kingsley asked in greeting.

"Very well, thanks," she responded. "Hello, Remus," Kate greeted her old friend.

"Kate," he responded, politely. Like Tonks, Remus was struck by how the alteration of Kate's memories had impacted her reaction to people who had grown so close to her in recent months.,

"Are we ready?" Kingsley asked. At their nods, he moved to the hearth. "Let's head to the Ministry, then," he added, throwing a pinch of Floo powder into the fireplace. "Atrium – Ministry of Magic," he called out clearly. After he had disappeared in the roar of green flame, Tonks, Kate and Remus, each in turn, stepped up to the hearth and did the same.

XXXXXXXX

Upon arriving in the Atrium, the group was immediately swallowed up by the usual, early morning activity as Ministry officials and employees arrived to begin their day. The group stepped into the lift and was taken to the dungeon courtroom chamber where the Wizengamot convened for hearings. While all present had previously been in the trial Chamber, its solemn and formal atmosphere impressed them anew.

The hearing was not open to the general Wizard populace; Llewellyn Jarvis had seen to that. He had also made certain that Malfoy would not be magically bound to a chair on the floor – alone and the focus of all attention. Rather, he and his solicitor would be seated on one side of the gallery, alone and segregated. Malfoy would have magical restraints around his wrists and ankles. Jarvis' argument was that Malfoy could potentially be an exposed and, therefore, easy target for his "many enemies".

Although attendance was restricted, the MLE was well represented and Kingsley and Remus found two seats somewhat secluded away from the general seating, which still afforded them a full and clear view of the proceedings. Kate and Tonks were escorted to the seating area reserved for those who were called for testimony. Kate's eyes were drawn to the two seats on the opposite side of the room; seats that would soon be occupied by Lucius Malfoy and his solicitor.

"Here we go," Kingsley murmured to Remus as the large doors opened and the members of the Wizengamot filed into their seats at the opposite end of the chamber.

Remus elbow bumped Kingsley's arm as he reached into his pocket. He removed a shiny object and murmured something Kingsley didn't quite catch. Leaning over toward the other man, Kingsley peered more closely at Remus' hand. "What is…Remus!" Kingsley's voice dropped to a whisper and his eyebrows rose in a combination of shock and consternation. Clutched tightly in the werewolf's fingers was a rectangular mirror in the middle of which appeared the face of none other than Sirius Black.

As Kingsley glanced around them nervously, Remus tapped the mirror with his wand, casting a strong concealment charm. "Remus, this is beyond risky. If you're caught, I don't have to tell you the consequences!"

Remus leaned closer to his friend. "Kingsley, you know that I did not agree to this lightly. He deserves to be here, in whatever the safest form may be. The connection can be broken at any time, if needed. He understands this," Remus glanced down at the image of his friend, who nodded solemnly. "He will remain silent throughout. He wants to listen and, frankly, with the concealment charm in place, I think the risk is sufficiently minimized," Remus finished.

Reluctantly, Kingsley nodded. "But we will sever the connection at any time we feel that risk becomes too great; understood?"

Both Remus and Sirius nodded and Kingsley turned his attention to the floor as Fudge took his seat before the assembly. Pounding his gavel sharply against the podium before him, the Minister called the proceedings to order.

"Members of the Wizengamot, witnesses to the court and all those assembled," he intoned loudly. "I hereby declare that the trial of Lucius Malfoy, Wizard is now in session. Officer, please bring in the prisoner."

Everyone focused his attention on the isolated seats in what was now the Prisoner's Dock. The secured double doors were magically unsealed by the Court Officer, after which they opened inward, toward those assembled, revealing Lucius Malfoy and Llewellyn Jarvis standing side by side. The two made their way to their seats and stood while the doors closed and re-sealed themselves.

Kate's attention was focused on Malfoy, who looked decidedly less affluent than his normal appearance conveyed. His usually perfectly groomed, white-blonde hair hung limply about his face and he was badly in need of a shave. He was wearing the dark gray robes issued to those detained in the Ministry's holding area, pending trial.

All in all, Kate thought, Malfoy's typically elegant form had been replaced by this quite ordinary, almost thuggish looking wizard prisoner. Upon closer inspection of his face, however, Kate recognized that Malfoy's typical haughtiness was visible in the arrogant tilt of his head and the icy blue of his eyes, which were fixed on her in an unwavering stare. Kate barely suppressed a shiver as Fudge's voice cut through the tension in the room.

"Lucius Malfoy, stand and hear the charges levied against you."

Malfoy and Jarvis rose. "Lucius Malfoy, you stand accused of organizing and participating in an unprovoked attack against two Aurors from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement of this Ministry. Acting in concert with known Dark Wizards styling themselves as "Death Eaters", two of whom were recent escapees from Azkaban Prison, you, with full intent, inflicted and caused physical harm and injury to said Aurors. Using the Cruciatus, an Unforgivable Curse outlawed in our World, you seriously injured the more senior Auror, ultimately causing her to miscarry. How do you plead to these charges?"

Jarvis stepped forward. "Minister, my client acknowledges his actions, but pleads "exception" to prosecution."

Fudge frowned and turned the full force of his glare at the dark-haired solicitor. "I did not request an opening statement, Mr. Jarvis; the form requires a plea of "guilty" or "not guilty". There is no other option available to you. Please, re-state your plea for our records."

Jarvis turned to Malfoy, whose smug expression had slipped slightly at Fudge's harsh words. The solicitor raised an eyebrow to which his client tipped his head in a very brief nod. Jarvis' silk robes rustled smoothly as he turned back to Fudge. "Minister," he intoned importantly. "Given your comment, my client has no choice but to plead 'not guilty'."

A quiet snort sounded from the direction of Remus' hand which was raised by virtue of Remus' propped elbow on the arm of his chair. Although Remus was certain that he was the only one to have heard the sound, he turned the mirror slightly and caught Sirius' eye. "Sorry," Sirius mouthed soundlessly. Remus nodded curtly and returned the mirror to its previous position.

"Nymphadora Tonks, Auror, please approach the Witness chair," Fudge announced.

With a quick pat to Kate's arm, Tonks carefully picked her way down the few steps from her seat to the Witness chair, arriving without incident. Remus smiled as he heard Kingsley's exhale of relief that Tonks' legendary clumsiness was absent that day.

"Ms. Tonks, please tell the members of the Wizengamot the details of the March attack at Hogsmeade Station – from your own memory and in detail," Fudge instructed.

Kate couldn't help but admire the young Auror as she delivered her testimony. Physically clumsy though she might be, Tonks was every inch the professional MLE Officer as she dispassionately relayed the facts and details of the attack. She was both eloquent and precise; her testimony took less than ten minutes. At its conclusion, Fudge asked but one question, "Please provide the names of the attackers, Ms. Tonks."

Tonks nodded. "Rudolphus and Rabastan Lestrange, Mulciber, Augustus Rookwood and Lucius Malfoy. Former junior Auror Malodorous Spear was also present and participated in the attack," she finished.

"Thank you, Ms. Tonks," Fudge said. "Mr. Jarvis, have you any questions of this witness?"

Jarvis rose from his seat. "One, Minister."

"Proceed," Fudge waved his hand in the direction of the Witness chair.

"Ms. Tonks, are you not the cousin of escaped murderer, Sirius Black?" Jarvis queried, a condescending smirk on his face.

Tonks kept her face expressionless. "Yes, he is my second cousin," she responded.

"Please describe the familial connection," Jarvis demanded.

"Black is the first cousin of my mother, Andromeda Black Tonks. My mother was born into the Black family and is the sister-in-law of Mr. Malfoy's wife, as well," Tonks replied.

"So, you have a very strong connection to a family known for its affiliation to Dark Magic?" Jarvis tossed out.

Tonks laughed merrily before answering. "Hardly, Mr. Jarvis. My mother was disowned by her family the day she married my father, who is a Muggle. The 'connection', as you call it, is entirely accidental. It is neither welcomed nor nurtured by either side. Clearly, my profession should give you an indication of my allegiance, shouldn't it?"

Jarvis frowned at the young woman. "I ask the questions here, young lady," he fairly snarled.

Fudge looked sharply at the solicitor. "And have you any more to ask?"

Jarvis shook his head.

Fudge nodded once. "Excellent. Nothing further from the defense, then. Thank you, Ms. Tonks. You may re-take your seat."

Fudge turned his attention to Kate. "Katherine Morgan, Auror, please approach the Witness chair," he summoned.

Kate took a deep breath and rose. Keeping her eyes firmly trained on the Witness chair awaiting her, she walked confidently, steeling herself for what she was certain would be an unbearable interrogation. She reached the chair and seated herself.

"Ms. Morgan, you are aware that you will be required to testify under the influence of Veritaserum, are you not?" Fudge asked, his tone less stern than before.

Kate nodded. "Yes, Minister, I am."

Fudge nodded. "Officer, we're ready now."

The court officer, with a nod, disappeared through the side door nearest the members' entrance. When he returned a moment later, he was accompanied by the tall, dark figure of Severus Snape.

"Professor Snape, please administer the Veritaserum to Ms. Morgan," Fudge requested.

Snape nodded once and approached Kate. "Please, open your mouth," he asked, his voice more gentle than Kate could recall hearing it.

She felt three cold drops of potion fall onto her tongue and she swallowed obediently. Taking her seat, Kate felt the effects of the serum overtake her and she waited quietly for the questioning to begin.


	61. An Altered Reality

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Fudge looked over the top of his spectacles, which were perched on the end of his nose.

"Ms. Morgan, thank you for coming here to testify this morning. We understand that you are still recovering from the effects of your injuries. If you find that you need a break at any time, please speak up and we will accommodate you," Fudge said, his tone and manner extremely solicitous.

Remus and Kingsley exchanged an amused look. Kingsley leaned over to Remus and whispered, "What do you figure? Polyjuice?" Remus chuckled. "Let's wait and see if he uses a hip flask in an hour or so." Remus turned the mirror slightly so he could see Sirius' face. As he suspected, an amused grin greeted him before both men turned back to the proceedings.

"Ms. Morgan, as you are testifying under the influence of Veritaserum – at the request of Mr. Malfoy's solicitor, we will be asking specific questions of you rather than asking for narrative as we did with Ms. Tonks. To begin, I will ask you one or two questions to make sure the Veritaserum has taken effect." Fudge cleared his throat. "Please state your full name for our records."

"Katherine Elisandra Morgan," Kate said, her voice calm and clear.

"And where do you reside?"

"Currently, I have a suite of rooms at The Leaky Cauldron, here in London."

"You have no permanent residence?" Fudge queried.

"No," Kate replied. "It has not been a priority thus far."

"I believe, Mr. Jarvis, that the Veritaserum has been brewed to current standard and is in effect for this witness at this time. Would you agree?" Fudge turned toward the Prisoner's Dock.

"So it would appear, Minister," Jarvis said.

"Ms. Morgan, were you present at Hogsmeade Station on the evening of March 3rd?" Fudge asked.

"Yes, I was."

"And how did you come to be there?"

"During an earlier phase of our investigation, Auror Tonks, operating undercover, learned of a proposed plan to possibly move escaped Death Eaters to a safer location, using Hogsmeade Station as a gathering point. She relayed this information to the Senior Auror in charge of the investigation."

"That would be Kingsley Shacklebolt, is that correct?" Fudge clarified.

"Yes," Kate replied. "Auror Shacklebolt put together a tactical response team to ensure that we could act if the proposed plan took place."

"And did you, in fact, find the transfer in progress when you arrived?"

"Yes."

"Who was present?"

"Lucius Malfoy was inside the station building. Augustus Rookwood, Rudolphus and Rabastan Lestrange, Mulciber, Antoine Dolohov and Malodorous Spear were all outside in the immediate vicinity of the station building," Kate responded.

"And who was in the Ministry party?"

"In addition to myself, there was Auror Tonks, Remus Lupin and a curse-breaker affiliated with Gringott's Bank, by the name of Bill Weasley."

A rather high-pitched cough was heard from the Wizengamot seating area. Fudge turned in acknowledgement. "Yes, Undersecretary Umbridge?"

Attention turned to a plump, squat woman who nodded – almost reverently – at the Minister before speaking.

"Forgive me, Ms. Morgan, but I believe you mentioned the name, Remus Lupin; is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Really, do you mean to tell this Court that a known werewolf was permitted to participate in a law enforcement action sponsored by this Ministry?" Umbridge's simpering voice could be heard clearly throughout the Chamber. Kingsley placed a firm hand on Remus' arm, feeling the trembling that was coursing through the other wizard.

"Yes," Kate's voice was steady and firm.

"Umbridge made a show of widening her blue eyes and she placed a pink-nailed hand over her heart before speaking again.

"My, my, I must say that I am astounded! Why ever would this happen?"

"Remus Lupin has been an uncompensated field operative for the Aurors for some time. His circumstances are such that he can infiltrate areas not easily accessible by the MLE. He is also an expert duelist and has augmented our forces on more than one mission in the past," Kate explained.

"Remus Lupin is a Dark Creature, Minister and, as such, was removed from a teaching post at Hogwarts. Surely, there is great risk involved in exposing Ministry employees to …"

"Enough!" Fudge spoke sharply. "This is a trial, Dolores, not a forum to air anyone's personal agenda. Remus Lupin's presence at Hogsmeade Station that night appears to have greatly strengthened the MLE unit's numbers. From all accounts, he fought tirelessly and expertly. It was not full moon, Dolores and therefore, he posed no risk. Oh – and far as his teaching post is concerned, he resigned; he was not removed. There's a difference. Now, have you other questions directly relevant to the charges against the accused?"

Umbridge looked positively stung by the Minister's comments, as well as the tone in which they were delivered. Her mouth closed with a pop and the little pink bow in her hair wobbled dangerously as she shook her head.

"No, Minister," she said, her voice quavering.

Remus turned an incredulous face toward Kingsley, whose own jaw was slack at what had just transpired. He leaned close to the Auror. "No visible hip flask," he whispered.

Kingsley recovered sufficiently to respond, "You're familiar with a Muggle contraption called an I.V. hook-up?" Remus nodded, one eyebrow raised in curious amusement. Kingsley continued, "Well, I'm thinking he just might be using one of those!"

"Shh," sounded softly from the mirror and both wizards looked over to see a very disgruntled expression on Sirius face as he placed his index finger to his lips.

"Alright, Pads," Remus whispered and they turned their attention back to the trial.

"Ms. Morgan, why was Mr. Weasley involved?"

"Bill Weasley is an excellent curse-breaker with several years experience through his work at Gringott's," Kate replied. "In an early stage of our investigation, we discovered a 'safe house' of sorts in Totland where former Auror Spear had been located. Like Mr. Lupin, Bill Weasley has been an uncompensated operative for awhile. We detected the presence of protection spells with some elements of Dark Magic. We brought Mr. Weasley in to assist in identifying and potentially countering these spells."

"So is it safe to say that these 'operatives' come in after actual Ministry personnel have discovered issues that fit their expertise and determine a need for their assistance?" Fudge asked.

Kate nodded. "Yes, Minister."

"Let us return to the actual incident," Fudge continued. "Upon your arrival, did you personally observe the accused, Mr. Malfoy, casting spells at other individuals present?"

"Yes. Mr. Malfoy was out of sight in the station building, casting spells and hexes against our team engaged in battle with other Death Eaters."

"And what did you do when you observed him thus?" Fudge queried.

"I cast Petrificus Totalis to render him unable to continue casting," came the unemotional reply.

"You cast no Unforgivable?"

"No, I did not. They are illegal," Kate responded.

"Indeed," Fudge replied. "Tell the court, if you will, how Mr. Malfoy was able to attack you if you had cast Petrificus Totalis."

"Mulciber terminated the spell," Kate testified.

"Describe, if you will, the attack you experienced at Mr. Malfoy's hand."

Kate drew a deep breath. This was a painful memory and the compulsion to tell it – courtesy of the Veritaserum – should significantly reduce the emotion tied to it.

"I had taken powdered Hellebore as part of a potion to render myself invisible. This was done to help offset what we were certain would be a higher number of Death Eaters. Mr. Malfoy noted the direction from which spells I cast were originating and when he got closer to me, the Hellebore had begun to dissipate and I was no longer invisible. Mr. Malfoy used Levicorpus to lift me from my location behind a shrub and move me to a position that was closer to him."

"Did you sustain any injury as a result of that spell?"

Kate nodded. "Minor bruising and lacerations, a deep muscle bruise to my shoulder and a sprained ankle."

"Indeed," Fudge muttered, glancing toward the Prisoner's Dock. "Pray, continue, Ms. Morgan. What happened then?"

"Mr. Malfoy cast the Cruciatus Curse," Kate replied quietly.

"Once?"

"Three times," Kate stated. There were gasps of shock from various members of the Wizengamot.

"And did Mr. Malfoy say anything before, during or after casting this Unforgivable?"

"I believe so, Minister, but I remember only fragments of those minutes. I believe he referred to Harry Potter and my role as his Godmother. I also recall that he mentioned the name of Sirius Black," she recalled.

"Black! Why would he say his name to you?" Fudge asked, his face registering his surprise.

"I knew Black at Hogwarts; we were in the same year. We had a relationship," Kate stated.

"What type of relationship?" Fudge inquired.

"An unfortunate one," Kate replied, her voice cold. "We were teenagers, Minister and became romantically involved, as children do at that age."

"And when did that relationship end?"

"It was a gradual deterioration in the two years after we graduated. It officially ended, I suppose, the night he handed James and Lily Potter over to Voldemort," Kate finished, tasting the bitterness those words left on her tongue. "But Ministry records should clearly document their investigation of me in the days after Black's arrest," Kate added.

Fudge shuffled a pile of parchment that lay before him, murmuring, "Of course, of course, Ms. Morgan. That activity was well documented. To conclude, please tell us what happened after Mr. Malfoy cursed you."

"I don't know," Kate confessed. "The Cruciatus rendered me unconscious. I awoke in unfamiliar surroundings, and found myself under the care of a Healer. It is my understanding that the location of this facility is not to be released as I am still recovering there and it has been determined that my life is in some danger. The Ministry wishes my exact location to remain a secret."

Fudge nodded. "That is accurate; I signed that order, personally."

"Are there any questions from the members of the Wizengamot?" Fudge turned to survey the officials assembled behind him. Many faces reflected sincere sympathy at Kate's story, but no one offered any additional queries.

"Very well," Fudge turned toward the Prisoner's Dock. "Mr. Jarvis, have you questions for this witness?"

Jarvis rose and walked behind the two chairs to the steps. Moments later, he appeared in front of Kate, having Disapparated from the Prisoner's Dock to the Chamber floor. Kate jumped at his appearance and Fudge's face flushed in anger. "I will tolerate no further theatrics from you, Mr. Jarvis," he fumed.

The solicitor shrugged. "Forgive me, Minister, I merely wished to begin my cross-examination promptly. I do, indeed, have questions for this witness. I also have a request, Minister," he paused. "I would like a replenishing dose of Veritaserum administered prior to commencing my cross." Jarvis reached into his robes and pulled out a small vial similar to that which Severus Snape had brought with him. Raising it in Fudge's direction, he said, "I happen to have a dose here, with me."

Kate froze, as did Remus and Kingsley. Remus glanced at Sirius' reflection and saw the blood drain from his face.

"No, Mr. Jarvis. That is not how the court process works at the Ministry of Magic. I cannot vouch for the integrity of the serum you hold in your hand and, therefore, it will not be used here today. Certainly, having stipulated the brewer for the serum administered to the witness for this trial, you would have no objection to re-administering his potion?" Fudge's eyes narrowed as he awaited the solicitor's answer.

Jarvis shuffled his feet a bit; obviously giving consideration to his next comment. "None, Minister. Why, this potion is from the same supply. I merely wanted to avoid a delay in the trial while we wait for Professor Snape to return."

Fudge glanced to his right and, almost immediately, the dark figure of Severus Snape was making his way to the Witness chair. "No need to wait, Mr. Jarvis. Severus was kind enough to remain for just such an occurrence," he announced.

Jarvis paled, but recovered quickly. "How prescient of you, Minister," he oozed as he slipped the vial back into his pocket.

"Indeed," Severus murmured, withdrawing his wand. He approached Kate, standing close to her as he whispered, "Do not be concerned, Kate," and performed a series of intricate wand movements. He then stepped back and turned to face Fudge once again. "There is no need for additional serum, Minister," he stated, his deep voice reverberating throughout the Chamber. "The original dosage is still in full efficacy; my serum has an effectiveness of four hours, per standard dose."

"Ahem, ahem," Dolores Umbridge waved in accompaniment to her cough.

"Yes, Dolores," Fudge acknowledged her interruption.

"Minister, I find myself wondering, if Professor Snape's assertions are true, why he gave an additional dosage to Mr. Jarvis for use here today," she sat back, blinking rapidly, a self-satisfied smile on her chubby face.

Kate saw Snape straighten his shoulders.

Fudge looked down at Severus. "Interesting point. Why did you leave the dose with Mr. Jarvis?"

Snape raised his eyebrows and responded, "I didn't." He paused and turned to Jarvis, raising his hand, palm-up and extending it toward the wary solicitor. "I would be more than happy to analyze it, however, and report my findings to the MLE. Obviously, someone has tried to take shameless advantage of you, Jarvis. Whoever has attempted to do so should be censured. As my name was brought into the matter, Minister, I'm afraid that I must insist," he finished, black eyes glittering in triumph, his hand still outstretched.

Fudge cleared his throat. "Surrender the vial, Mr. Jarvis. The Court Officer will give you a receipt. Thank you, Severus. Can you please re-take your seat?"

Severus accepted the vial from Jarvis, inclined his head and shot Kate a sidelong glance before moving back to his secluded place in the gallery.

Fudge turned his attention to the solicitor, who, still pale and obviously angry, stood next to Kate. "You may proceed, Mr. Jarvis," he advised him. When Jarvis remained where he was and did not speak, the Minister added, "Now, Mr. Jarvis, if you please."

Jarvis started slightly then glanced briefly at his client who was seething in his chair. The solicitor took out a silk handkerchief and mopped his brow before turning to face Kate.

Ms. Morgan," he began, pushing the damp cloth back into his pocket. "Let's go back in time a bit, shall we?"

Kate remained silent, awaiting his first question.

"You were an Auror back in the late 1970's, is that correct?"

"Yes," Kate replied.

"And you were involved in a relationship with Sirius Black at that time, were you not?"

Kate nodded. "Yes, I've testified to that already, Mr. Jarvis."

"Simply confine your answers to 'yes' and 'no', as appropriate," Jarvis snapped. He took a breath and then continued. "You and Black were both Aurors at that time, yes?"

"Yes."

"Did you live in Ministry housing?"

"No."

"Did you have your own flat?"

"Yes."

"Did you live alone?"

"No."

"With whom did you share this flat?"

"Sirius Black," Kate responded.

"Ah, Sirius Black," Jarvis said, walking around to the back of the Witness chair and placing one hand on either of the two carved edges on either side of Kate's head. "You were living together as a couple at that time, were you not?"

"Yes," Kate seethed inwardly at this line of questioning and glanced at Fudge to see if her anger was reflected in his face. It was, but as he had introduced Sirius' name in his direct questioning - however inadvertently he had done so – Jarvis legally had the right to pursue that line of testimony in his cross-examination.

"You were romantically involved with each other?"

"Yes."

"Sexually involved?"

Kate attempted to remain silent, but the Veritaserum prohibited her doing so. "Yes," she hissed.

Fudge spoke up. "Mr. Jarvis, I fail to see how this very personal line of questioning applies to the matter at hand."

Jarvis came around to stand beside Kate's chair once again. "I will make that perfectly obvious in a moment, Minister."

Fudge glared at him. "Move along and make your point, then, Mr. Jarvis. This court is completely disinterested in the romantic entanglements of its Aurors. All of this occurred over a decade ago, for the love of Merlin!"

There were murmurs of agreement from the members of the Wizengamot, which were not lost on Jarvis – or Malfoy. The solicitor continued.

"You stated that your relationship gradually deteriorated over a period of time, did you not?"

"Yes."

"And what precipitated that deterioration?"

"There was a sense of mistrust at that time. There was a traitor leaking information about James and Lily Potter to Voldemort. Suspicion ran high – even amongst those of us who were closest to each other," Kate responded.

"You did not trust your lover?" Jarvis almost jeered.

"I did for awhile, but eventually I did not," Kate said.

"And what precipitated your loss of trust in Black?"

"His actions were odd. He would disappear for days at a time. He was nervous, short-tempered, aloof. When questioned, he had no explanation."

"He was cold, indifferent?"

"Yes, both."

"He did not tell you where he was going or who he was seeing?"

"No, he did not."

"You asked?"

"Yes. Repeatedly."

"Did you believe him to be the traitor?"

"Not at first."

"Eventually, then."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"He led Voldemort to James and Lily Potter. He killed Peter Pettigrew and 13 innocent Muggles," Kate felt her emotions begin to rise and breathed deeply to control them.

"How did you find out about his arrest?"

"I was there."

"Did he see you?"

"Yes."

"Did he speak?"

"No. I left."

"Where did you go?"

"Back to our flat."

"Why?"

"I wanted to see if I could find something to explain what I had just seen. I wanted to see if there was something I'd missed that could have given me an answer about why he'd…"

"…turned traitor?"

"Yes."

"Did you love him?"

"Yes."

"When you were brought in for questioning, did you love him still?"

"Yes."

"Why were you re-assigned to Washington, DC to work with the American Ministry of Magic?"

"I could no longer stay in England. Those who knew of my relationship with Black suspected that I was in league with him. My life was untenable."

"Did you know he had escaped when you returned to England?"

"Yes."

"Yet you returned to London. To the Ministry. To your old job with the MLE. Why?"

"Because I missed my home." Kate thought that this was true enough as she felt no ill effects from the Veritaserum.

"No romantic entanglements over the twelve years you were in America?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I was not interested. I had my work."

"You loved Sirius Black."

"Yes, although I did not want to."

"I will remind you to stick to 'yes' or 'no' answers, Ms. Morgan."

Kate remained silent, waiting for his next question.

"Why did you return to London?"

"To protect my Godson," Kate replied.

"To rekindle your relationship with your former lover," Jarvis barked.

"No!"

"Ms. Morgan, please. Do you think this court is stupid? You resumed your life in London because your former lover tracked you down and convinced you of his innocence. You resumed your affair once you were here in England. You operated as part of a covert operation designed to divert the blame for the Potters' deaths from the proper wizard to another. You worked in league with known agitators – and with Sirius Black to frame Lucius Malfoy. You became pregnant with Black's child and kept that news secret from your direct superiors at the Ministry." Kate put her face in her hands, her emotions overcoming her. Fudge exploded, pounding his gavel loudly, until the wood split in two. No longer able to use the gavel, Fudge unsheathed his wand and pointed it at his throat, muttering, "Sonorous". He drew a deep breath and then called, "SILENCE!" in a voice that shook the room.

Nothing was heard in the aftermath, but the sound of Kate's quiet sobs. Fudge whirled in the direction of Jarvis, cancelling the Sonorous charm before speaking again. "I warned you, Jarvis. I will not do so again. Further theatrics such as those you just displayed will result in a contempt charge against you." He took a deep breath and looked at Kate.

"Ms Morgan, would you like a moment to compose yourself before we continue?" Fudge's voice was almost gentle.

Kate wiped her cheeks and looked up at the Minister. She shook her head. "No, Minister. Thank you. I would rather speak to what Mr. Jarvis has accused me of, if you would permit it."

Fudge nodded. "By all means. After all, Mr. Jarvis wants us to believe that he was actually asking you for information. Clearly, he can have no reasonable objection to you providing it to us all now. Go ahead, Ms. Morgan."

"I spent 12 years living with the guilt of having been involved with Sirius Black," Kate began. "Yes, I loved him and yes, I was involved with him both in school and for a short time after we became Aurors. I was young and impressionable. I'd lost my family. He was exciting, a rebel. It happens. He betrayed us all by turning two people we loved dearly over to the most compelling force of evil to inhabit our world for centuries. He lied to me; he lied to all of us. He laughed when he was arrested and led off to Azkaban. He laughed. Yes, I loved him, but it was not because I wanted to, I assure you. I accepted a position with the US Ministry because I wanted to escape. Cowardly, I know, but there you have it. My life was a shambles. Everything I thought I knew turned out to be false – and everyone I loved was either dead, a traitor or among the missing. I was left with nothing here and so, I left. For 12 years, I pushed Sirius Black to the furthest corners of my mind. When I returned to London it was to protect one person from that former life: Harry Potter, my Godson. Yes, he is also Sirius' Godson, Merlin help the boy for that! I hope he never discovers the connection as he's certainly had enough to live with in his short life without being burdened with that. I will die before I allow Sirius Black near Harry Potter. Sirius Black is nothing but an enemy now – a Dark Wizard in league with Voldemort. My past relationship with him is just that – in the past. When I returned to London, I became involved with a wizard assigned to the Muggle British Consulate. I became pregnant. Mr. Jarvis is correct in that. My lover was killed two weeks before the Hogsmeade Station incident. My child was killed as a result of the Cruciatus Curse inflicted upon me by Lucius Malfoy. I miscarried the following day. 'Sirius Black's child'! Not in this lifetime. No one but a Dark Witch would willingly carry the child of that Death Eater and, I assure you, I am most certainly not a Dark Witch." Kate paused and took several deep breaths before continuing. "Now, Mr. Jarvis may ask me why you should believe me and I can only tell you that I am testifying before you under the influence of Veritaserum and, therefore, I cannot lie. I would not lie. I wonder what my testimony might have been like had I been allowed to consumer the Veritaserum he wanted to administer prior to my cross-examination. I suppose you will find out when Professor Snape provides the MLE with an analysis of the serum. Either way, I don't believe Mr. Jarvis has the right to cast aspersions on anyone's honesty or integrity. To address his final accusation, I assure you that I have participated in no effort – organized or otherwise – to falsely accuse Lucius Malfoy of anything. I believe the true charges are sufficiently monstrous to give him the end he deserves. That is not my choice, however, nor is it my purview to pass judgment on him. It is yours." Kate turned to Fudge. "Thank you. I have nothing else to say."

The silence that greeted the end of Kate's remarks was complete. After a moment, Fudge looked over at Malfoy, who sat in his chair as if stunned. His gaze shifted to Jarvis, whose face reflected anger, apprehension and defeat.

"Mr. Jarvis, have you anything to say for yourself or for your client?" he asked.

Jarvis shook his head.

"Does your client wish to take the stand in his own defense?"

Jarvis shot a quick glance at Malfoy, who glared at him malevolently but gave a barely perceptible shake of his head. Jarvis looked at Fudge. "The defense rests, Minister."

"Members of the Wizengamot, we have heard testimony from individuals intimate with the events that led to the charges against Mr. Malfoy. We have seen for ourselves a probable attempt to compromise the key witness against the accused by virtue of a potential introduction of an unknown potion. I would like to put this matter before you all for a decision. All those in favor of a conviction on all charges, please raise your hands."

Kate, Kingsley and Remus held their breath and watched the assembly anxiously. One by one, every member of the Wizengamot save Dolores Umbridge raised his hand.

Fudge brought his fist down on the desk before him. "Guilty on all counts." He turned toward the Prisoner's Dock. "Lucius Malfoy, rise and hear your fate."

Malfoy rose, his chin thrust out and his head held high.

"Lucius Malfoy, you have been convicted of crimes meriting immediate transfer to Azkaban Prison. It is the judgment of this court that you be immediately transported to that facility where you will remain for the rest of your natural life. There will be no possibility for commutation of your sentence. Officer, please take the prisoner to the holding cell pending transport to Azkaban."

Kate sat, stunned. In the gallery, Remus and Kingsley looked at each other with similar expressions. Suddenly remembering the mirror, Remus turned it toward them.

It was empty. Sirius was gone.


	62. Separate Memories

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Remus put the mirror into his pocket and turned to Kingsley. "You are meeting Albus at Tonks' flat, yes?"

Kingsley nodded. "I'll Floo him to let him know when Kate and I expect to arrive." The Auror glanced down toward the Witness chair where Kate was still seated. "I'm going to take Kate over to The Leaky Cauldron and see if Tom will let us use that back room for an hour or so. I'd like to give her a chance to have some time to regroup. I'm also curious about Malodorous Spear – and why he was not present to testify today. It was my understanding that he was on the Ministry's witness list. I'm going to have Tonks check into it while I'm with Kate." Kingsley glanced down at Remus' pocket then looked his friend in the eye. "I'm guessing you might have something to do, as well?"

Remus smiled sadly and nodded. "I think our friend is having a bad time of it right now after hearing Kate's testimony." Remus started to turn away then stepped closer to Kingsley. "There are many aspects of this trial that I find most curious: Fudge, chief amongst them. I'm also interested in knowing exactly what was in that vial that Severus took from Jarvis. And, speaking of Jarvis – he made some very amateur errors here today. That's diametrically opposite his reputation as a solicitor."

Kingsley nodded. "I was thinking the same thing several times during the trial. I can't shake the feeling that there's a connection somehow. We'll get on it straight away. I'll meet you at The Annex after we've met up with Albus at Tonks', yes?"

Remus nodded. "Give Kate my l-," he paused. "Well, perhaps not this particular version of Kate. Kingsley, tell her that I send my best, won't you?"

Kingsley nodded. "I will. It's temporary, Remus, you know that. She'll be fine by tonight."

"I know, Kingsley. It's just not an easy thing to look into her eyes and realize that the past few months have simply not happened for her. I can only imagine what Padfoot is feeling right now," Remus shook his head.

"You'd better find out," Kingsley said and turned to make his way to the Chamber floor.

Remus watched him go for a moment before making his way to the lifts.

XXXXXXXX

Remus stood in the middle of the Great Room at the Annex, his heart beating more quickly than usual. After a complete search of the area – including the balcony – he had found no trace of his friend. His mind raced. Remus knew Sirius would not be foolish enough to wander the halls – or grounds – of the school; there was too much at stake for him to do so. But Remus also knew his best friend well enough to know that when Sirius was in pain, Sirius went to ground. What he did not know was where. After another five minutes of rumination, Remus' head snapped up. He strode to the hearth, threw a pinch of Floo powder into the hearth and stepped into the resulting green flames. "Kitchen – Grimmauld Place," he called distinctly and was immediately drawn into the swirling chaos that was Floo travel.

A moment later, the werewolf stepped out into the kitchen of Headquarters. The room was cold and bore no sign of the Master of the house. Not wishing to disturb Kreacher – nor the apparently sleeping portrait of Sirius' mother, Remus crept along the corridors and staircases, checking out Kate's bedroom, then Sirius', the library, Buckbeak's room. Nothing. Remus made his way downstairs and was just passing a side corridor when a noise from the end of the hall caught his attention. The porch, Remus thought and hurried down the hallway to the door at its end.

He opened the partially closed door and entered silently, looking around the darkened room for the source of the noise. It didn't take long to find. Sirius was seated on the worn sofa in front of the fireplace. The hearth was cold, the room lit exclusively by the weak sunlight filtering in through the street-facing windows. On the table before him stood a ¾ full bottle of Old Ogden's Finest; in Sirius' hand was a quarter-full tumbler which, as Remus watched, the dark-haired wizard brought to his lips and downed in a single swallow, grimacing as it burned his throat and hit his empty stomach.

"Padfoot?" Remus approached the sofa slowly, pointing his wand at the hearth to start the fire blazing in the grate.

"Mooney!" Sirius greeted him. "Come to drown my sorrows with me? There's a good mate; always there when you need him!" He shakily poured another two fingers of Firewhiskey into the tumbler. "Here, Mooney. You take the glass; I'll just save time and use the bottle, eh?"

Remus shook his head. "I'm fine, Pads. It's too early in the day for me, anyway."

Sirius took a generous swig from the bottle then replied, "Bollocks, Mooney! It's 5 o'clock somewhere in the world, isn't that what the Muggles say? American Muggles, more like. Bet it's 5 o'clock there."

"She didn't mean it, you know," Remus said, softly, taking a seat next to his friend. "They removed her recent memories of you – you know that, Pads. All the memories she has left of you end on the day of your arrest. She doesn't know that you're innocent."

Sirius raised the bottle to his lips, then changed his mind and lowered it to rest on his knee. "She hated me, Mooney," he murmured. "I was the unfortunate relationship she had as a teenager and didn't have enough sense to end. Katie thinks of me as the killer of James and Lily. Well, killer once-removed, I suppose, since I didn't actually cast the Killing Curse – I just turned them over to the one who did." He looked up at his oldest friend and Remus caught his breath at the raw pain he saw reflected in Sirius' face. "D'you think she actually felt that way, Remus?" His voice was soft.

"I think she probably felt some of that, Padfoot, as I did. You knew that when she first came back, though. She knows the truth about you, Sirius," Remus said.

"That truth is lying in a Pensieve in Tonks' flat at the moment," Sirius put the bottle on the table. "She thought Harry shouldn't know about me." He shook his head sadly. "She didn't want my children, Mooney. 'Not in this lifetime,' she said. You heard her. You were there. She called me the enemy, Remus. That's what she thought I was." The dark haired wizard shook his head, his eyes bright as he looked at the blazing fire.

"I didn't think about what I would hear if I used that bloody mirror," he whispered. "I wanted to make sure she was ok – and I really wanted to hear that fuckin' tosser get what was coming to him when they convicted him." Sirius looked over at his friend. "I didn't think about what Kate would sound like without the memories of the last six months." He swallowed. "I didn't think it would hurt this much."

Remus nodded and slid closer to his friend. He put his arm around the other man's shoulders comfortingly. "I know, Sirius. You and Kate have been through so much together in such a short time. Even though she had to do this to testify successfully, I know it had to have hurt you to hear it."

Sirius said nothing for awhile, then scrubbed at his face roughly and cleared his throat. "Thanks, Mooney," he said softly, rising then swaying slightly.

Remus rose swiftly and steadied him. "Steady there, Padfoot," he said, a slight smile on his face.

Sirius turned to face his friend, his face pale. "I don't think I feel very well, Remus."

Remus shook his head and gestured toward the bottle on the table. "You haven't had any of that for awhile, Sirius. Come, why don't you lie down for a bit? Then you can shower and meet Kate back at the Annex, yes?"

Sirius took a breath to speak, but a look of sudden horror crossed his face and he clapped one hand over his mouth and hurriedly left the room.

Remus was waiting in Sirius' room with a glass of cool water. His friend appeared in the doorway a few moments later, still a bit pale, but without the somewhat glazed expression he'd worn during their conversation. He crossed into the room and sat on the bed, gratefully accepting the glass from Remus. After downing the water, he handed the glass back to Remus, kicked off his boots and settled down on the bed. "'night, Mooney," he mumbled, closing his eyes.

Remus smiled at the other man. "'night, Pads. I'll wake you up if I don't see you in an hour or so, yes?" He paused. "Sirius?" But the sound of soft, even breathing was his only response. Sirius was already asleep.

Remus left the room, closing the door quietly behind him and went into the study to read while waiting for Sirius to awaken. Thirty minutes after he'd settled into a deep armchair with a book, his tea and the warmth of a blazing fire, he heard a cry from the direction of Sirius' room. History had made Remus intimately familiar with the sound of Sirius' nightmares and he therefore rose quickly and half-ran to the other man's bedroom.

When he arrived, it was obvious that Sirius' terror was in full swing. The bedclothes were twisted around him as he thrashed against their binding. His face was a study in pain and his face and hair were damp with sweat. Remus moved toward the bed and gently grasped Sirius' flailing arms, moving them by his sides and holding them there. Sirius' eyes flew open, but his struggle continued. "Katie!" he cried out. "Don't go! Don't leave me! I didn't…."

"Padfoot!" Remus called out, loudly and when nothing happened, "Sirius!"

At the sound of Remus' voice, Sirius fell silent and his body went still. He blinked several times, until he finally recognized Remus face above him. "It's alright," Remus said quietly. "Everything is alright. Take deep breaths, now."

As Sirius began to slowly respond to Remus' soothing voice, Remus released his wrists and sat on the edge of the bed until Sirius had brought himself back under control. "Better?" he asked after awhile, as he helped his friend disentangle himself from the covers.

Sirius nodded. "Thanks, Mooney. I'm sorry about that. Must have been Old Ogden's revenge." He didn't meet his friend's eyes as he spoke.

Remus shook his head slightly. "Perhaps in part, but we both know it's more than that, don't we? Want to talk to me about it?"

Now Sirius did look up. "What did I say? It must have been something to bring you in here."

"Actually, I heard you cry out; no words, just a cry. When I came in, you were flailing about, all tangled up in the bedclothes." Remus stopped speaking for a moment. "You called out to Kate."

Sirius nodded. "We were here, but downstairs in the kitchen. It was the first night she came back and the Order was meeting here. Remember how she saw me in the doorway after the meeting broke up?" Remus nodded. "That was it, except this time, you all disappeared and she came over before I could get away. She called me a traitor and told me that she'd come back to keep Harry away from me. Said I didn't deserve him after I'd killed his parents." Sirius began to cry softly again as he retold the story of his nightmare. Remus reached over and covered Sirius' hand with his own.

"It's alright, Padfoot. It was only a dream. Come; get the rest of it out. You'll feel better once you have," he said to the distraught wizard in a soothing voice.

Sirius drew a deep breath. "She told me that she was pregnant, but that it wasn't mine. She'd found someone else and she didn't want me anymore. She walked out, Mooney. She left me. I called to her but she wouldn't turn around. She just…" his voice trailed off.

Remus squeezed his hand reassuringly. "But it wasn't real, Sirius. You must realize that everything in your nightmare came from her testimony today. That isn't reality."

Sirius nodded, but remained silent. Remus released his hand and stood.

"I'm going downstairs to make some tea. Why don't you shower and change and join me when you're finished, yes?" Remus watched his friend carefully. He could not allow him to wallow; Sirius had made too much progress in the past months to allow these nightmares to take hold of him again. "Sirius?"

Sirius nodded again, this time looking up at the other wizard. He pushed the covers back and rose. "I'll be downstairs shortly, Remus. Promise."

Remus watched him into the bathroom; after the door had closed, he listened for the start of the shower and, hearing it, headed down to the kitchen.

XXXXXXXX

Kate and Kingsley sat in the back room of The Leaky Cauldron. Kate had a half-empty bowl of vegetable soup in front of her and she sipped a cup of tea thoughtfully.

Kingsley watched her for a moment before speaking. "Ready to head back to Tonks' place?"

Kate put her teacup down and nodded. "Kingsley, we need to get in touch with Severus about the potion in Jarvis' vial. I'd also like to know what Spear's got up to; I wouldn't have thought he'd miss the trial."

Kingsley nodded. "Tonks is looking into that one. We'll get in touch with Severus later on."

Kate looked up at the senior Auror. "How many others, Kingsley?"

Kingsley's brows drew together. "I don't understand, Kate."

"How many others do you think believe what Jarvis said in that courtroom? Llewellyn Jarvis never had an original thought in his life, so someone had to have given him the idea that I would actually resume my relationship with Black and attempt to frame Malfoy in the bargain," Kate clarified, her voice bitter.

Kingsley sighed. "Well, Kate, I would wager that Malfoy is probably responsible for planting the seed and Jarvis, given his silver tongue, refined it. I don't imagine anyone believed him after they heard your response."

"I hope so, Kingsley," she said. "I've been away from home long enough. I'd like to make this move a permanent one and that will be difficult if all the rumor and innuendo start up again."

Kingsley reached over and patted her hand. "I don't think you have anything to worry about there, Kate. Come on; let's head back to Tonks'. You look like you could use a rest. I'll just settle the bill and be right back." Kingsley knew Albus was awaiting word that they were heading to Tonks' flat so he could meet them there. He planned to Floo call the Headmaster whilst settling the bill.

Kate agreed and waited quietly until Kingsley returned to the table. Moments later, they were stepping out of the fireplace at Tonks' flat.

Dusting the ash from her robes, Kate looked up and found herself staring into the calm blue eyes of the Headmaster, standing opposite her. "Hello, my dear," he said warmly, extending a small vial to her. "You've had a trying morning; this should help you rest for a bit without any nightmares to disturb you." Kate hesitated only a moment before sitting on the sofa, accepting the vial and downing its contents. It didn't take long before the dreamless sleep potion took hold and Kate was fast asleep.

"She had a difficult time," Dumbledore murmured. "All those feelings about Sirius and times gone by will take an emotional toll on anyone. I think it's time we restored Kate's memories and let her get on with her life." With that, the elderly wizard sat down next to Kate and, with a repeat of the complicated wand movements and incantations from earlier in the day, he removed and discarded the fabricated details of her "past" and slowly replaced them with the memories stored in Sirius' Pensieve. Once he had finished, Dumbledore sat back against the cushions, the empty Pensieve cradled in his lap.

"Let's let her sleep for a bit," he suggested, wearily.

Turning to Kingsley after a moment, the older man smiled. "You've done it. Lucius Malfoy is going to Azkaban without possibility of parole."

Kingsley allowed himself a brief smile, as well. "Yes, Albus, but there are several open issues as a result of that trial – as you well know."

Dumbledore nodded. "I might suggest that we call an Order meeting for tomorrow evening at Headquarters. Tonks should have some information for us by then and I will also make a few discreet inquiries as well. Severus will have completed his analysis of the potion Jarvis tried to introduce, so we can decide if – and how – we will pursue that issue once we have his report." He paused, glancing down at Kate for a moment before bringing his full attention back to Kingsley. "You know, I would be very much interested in learning more about Cornelius' change of heart, as well. You and I both know that he has been a very strong supporter of Lucius Malfoy – right up until this very morning. Something has happened to turn him away from that path and, although I'm cautiously grateful, I don't completely trust that this change is permanent. At least not quite yet."

Kingsley nodded. "I'm heading back to the Ministry now. I suspect I'll know more soon enough. If the Minister has something on his mind, he'll be setting up a meeting with me fairly soon."

Dumbledore rose. "I'm going to Apparate Kate back to The Annex."

Kingsley nodded. "I'll help you then Apparate to the office from there." With that, he picked Kate up and held her tightly to him. Picturing the hospital area of The Annex, Kingsley turned on his heel and, moments later materialized in the far end of the room. Dumbledore followed shortly after.

Kingsley laid Kate on the bed near the window and turned to Dumbledore. "She's fine. I'll check in with you later this evening if Tonks has anything to report to us."

Dumbledore smiled at the Auror. "Thank you, Kingsley, I'd appreciate that."

"May I offer you gentlemen some tea?" Molly Selkirk's voice came from the direction of the doorway.

"Not for me, thanks. I'm just leaving," Kingsley declined politely. "I'll speak with you later, Albus. Molly, it was nice to see you again." With that, Kingsley turned and Apparated back to the Ministry.

"Come into the Great Room and I'll bring the tray in by the fire," the Healer said. As she turned, she caught sight of her former patient lying in the bed she had so recently been deemed well enough to leave. "Albus?"

"She's fine, Molly. I gave her a Dreamless Sleep potion a short time ago. It will allow her memories to settle a bit now that we've replaced them," the Headmaster explained.

Molly nodded. "Come. I'll only be a few moments."

When she and Albus were settled before the fire, Molly looked over at the older wizard. "I assume things went well," she said.

Albus nodded over his cup. "Relatively speaking," he replied. "Malfoy has been convicted and will be taken to Azkaban today, if he is not, indeed, there already. Kate had a bit of a hard time, though and, as a result, so did Sirius."

Molly raised her eyebrows in question. "How so?"

"As you know, Kate's memories of Sirius – those that occurred in the past 6 months – were removed to ensure that she could truthfully testify against Malfoy without divulging anything about Sirius. To have done so would have led to devastating consequences, as I'm sure you realize," Albus said. "We inserted fabricated events in Kate's life to accommodate the miscarriage which was, of course, critical to ensuring Malfoy's conviction due to his use of an Unforgivable."

"But I thought the goal was to hide Kate's pregnancy from the Ministry," Molly said.

"Originally, yes. But, somehow they had found out about it and had planned to use it to discredit her. If we had not prepared a plausible story to counter their efforts, I'm certain Malfoy would have been acquitted," Dumbledore explained. "Of course, by removing all of Kate's memories of Sirius but those that occurred up to the date of his arrest, all of her old suspicions and feelings about him resurfaced. It was very emotional for her."

Molly shook her head. "Thank Merlin Sirius was unable to attend," she said.

Dumbledore looked up sharply. "Regrettably, Mr. Black ingeniously found a way to be present without physically leaving The Annex," he informed her and went on to tell her the details of the charmed mirrors.

When Dumbledore had finished his explanation, Molly sighed, "That young man is too smart for his own good sometimes. He will suffer mightily for having heard what had to be very difficult sentiments coming from Kate," she added.

"But he will realize that she was without recent memory of him and, therefore, operating in the past as far as he was concerned," Dumbledore reasoned. "I suspect that they have not fully dealt with the feelings Kate had about Sirius back in those days. They will need to deal with them before they can completely move on. Perhaps this will be the catalyst they need to do so."

"Well, if it is, I hope it's the last of it," Molly said, placing her now-empty teacup on the tray. "It's time they were able to move on."

XXXXXXXX

Kate awakened to a dim room and the sound of wind driving a hard rain against the windowpanes. It took a moment for her to get her bearings. She sat up and looked around the room. Of course, she thought. The Annex. Kate rose and walked toward the doorway leading to the Great Room. As she drew closer, she could see the flickering, orange light of the fire reflected on the white walls that stood opposite the hearth. Other than the snap and crackle of the logs, the room was silent. Kate stepped into the Great Room and caught her breath at the sight of Sirius, seated on the sofa, gazing into the fire.

Sirius. Kate placed her hand against the doorframe to steady herself as memories of the day came flooding back to her. While fuzzy at first, the trial – and her testimony – became clearer in stages until the memory was sharp. The things she had said; those must have been the planted memories from Dumbledore. Kate's eyes filled as the words she had uttered rang hollowly in her mind. She thought back to the time just before James and Lily were killed. There was so much suspicion, so little trust amongst them all – and they had all suffered; James and Lily paying the ultimate price for it all. Afterward, though, Sirius had been sent to prison and she had walked away from all of it – the memories, the continued suspicion that bordered on shunning. She had believed him guilty and she had been bitter – more than bitter, really. Kate sighed heavily. It was sobering to realize that she had testified truthfully this morning. Without the memories of the past six months to reveal the lies of so long ago, Kate's feelings about Sirius had been realistically revealed. She trembled a bit under the weight of that knowledge and turned her attention back to the wizard on the sofa. Kate stepped into the room, suddenly needing the feeling of his arms around her; the sound of his soft voice in her ear. The sound of her footfalls alerted Sirius to her presence, however, and the look on his face stopped her in her tracks.

"Sirius?"

He rose at the sound of her voice and Kate watched the play of emotions across his face. His eyes were bright, his face pale and Kate detected the slight trembling of his hands as he stuffed them in the pockets of the Muggle jeans he wore.

"Kate," his voice was soft and tentative and his eyes never left hers.

Kate walked toward him, noting that he continued to watch her as she approached. When she stood directly before him, Kate reached over and cupped his cheek in her palm. "Sirius, what is it?" she asked him.

Sirius closed his eyes and Kate felt the hot splash of a single tear fall over her thumb and slide down the back of her hand. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Kate's eyebrows drew together in confusion. "I don't understand; sorry for what, darling?"

Sirius' eyes opened. "For everything that happened to you because of me. For not trusting you enough to tell you about the switch in Secret Keepers. If I had just trusted you, then maybe we would have worked it all out about Peter and James and Lily would still be alive," he whispered. "And you would not have had to move to the States; and maybe you wouldn't have hated me."

Kate's mind raced. It isn't possible for him to know, she thought, but in her heart she knew that Sirius had to have – somehow – learned of her testimony before the Wizengamot. She decided to take the chance. "How did you get into the Wizengamot Chamber?"

"The mirror," he replied, watching her face carefully. "I persuaded Remus to take one of the mirrors into the Chamber. I had to hear it if Lucius testified; I had to hear him try to defend what he did to you; I had to hear him convicted." Sirius paused, smiling sadly. "I heard much more than I anticipated."

Kate gently lowered her hand to her side and sat down on the sofa. Sirius followed.

"Sirius, it is I who should apologize to you," Kate said, her voice so low he had to lean toward her to hear.

"For legitimate feelings you had a dozen years ago?" Sirius questioned softly. He shook his head. "I don't believe so. I didn't think about what it all meant, removing your memories, replacing them with something that would explain the baby; hearing what you were feeling late in the first War. Hearing what you were feeling about me." He stopped and collected himself for a moment before continuing. "You owe me no apologies, Kate. I brought this one on myself."

"But it hurt you. I hurt you. I can see that in your eyes," Kate said. "And I hate that my words put that pain there."

Sirius looked at her. "I need to touch you while we talk. Need to. Yeah?"

Kate nodded, reaching out to him. Sirius slid closer to her, taking her hands in both of his. Kate squeezed his fingers lightly and felt the return pressure from him.

"Katie, did you really feel those things?" he asked.

Kate took a deep breath then looked at Sirius. "It's complicated, but yes, in some ways I did feel those things. I was so angry that you'd left me out of all your suspicions which meant, I suppose, that you thought I could have been the traitor as well. At the time, all I knew was that you were always tearing off to this place or that place – mostly to Godrics Hollow without me – and I hated it. When I saw you immediately after you'd been arrested, my take on the whole of the previous months was – obviously – quite changed. It all clicked in: you'd been plotting with the Dark Lord; you'd turned. You'd left us all behind. I couldn't figure out what sign I'd missed. I felt guilty that I could have stopped you, but had missed something obvious and had, therefore, contributed to James' and Lily's deaths."

Sirius nodded, his face reflecting his sadness and hurt. "If I could go back in time, there would be so many things I would do differently. Trusting you would have been the first change I would have made."

"You know the old saying, 'Hindsight is 20/20'," Kate said quietly. "If you had it all to do again, with no knowledge of the consequences of your choice and with no more information than you had back then, can you honestly say your choices would be different?"

When Sirius was silent, Kate continued, with a sad smile, "You can't, you see. And you shouldn't. It's what saved your sanity in Azkaban; what brought your friends back to you once you'd escaped and were able to tell them the truth. Your choice in switching with Peter was pure you. You believed with all your heart that you were doing what was necessary to keep James, Lily and Harry safe. Once we heard it from you, we knew it was the truth."

"But in the time before my escape…"

"I thought you to be the traitor, while I found more than a little betrayal in my own heart as well," Kate replied. "You'll remember that I said that despite my anger, my bitterness – that I loved you. I loved you through it all. That was true."

Sirius nodded and squeezed her hands more tightly. "But you didn't want to love me then," he said to her. "When Jarvis suggested that you'd returned to London, fully aware of my escape, found me, became involved with me again and had become pregnant with my child, you denied it all by saying that only a Dark Witch would want to bear my child. You said that you would never carry a child of mine 'in this lifetime'."

Kate leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips. "Based on the only memories I had at the time, yes. Remember that Albus planted a memory of another relationship that resulted in my pregnancy. That, coupled with the feelings from the time before your escape, would certainly have led me to that statement. But my memories have been restored and those false ones removed."

Sirius watched her face as she spoke. "And now?" His voice was barely a whisper.

Kate returned his gaze. "Now, I would have your child without question, without hesitation. I love you, Sirius. I love you more than I ever thought it possible to love another person. I want to put the past behind us – once and for all. Now that we've finally dealt with all that happened after your arrest – and recognizing that we'll still have issues to work out – I don't want to be away from you ever again. I want a life with you – despite the fact that we haven't yet caught Pettigrew. Despite the fact that your name hasn't yet been cleared. None of that matters to us, Sirius. None of it. We've already been through more than most people experience in their lives and we're still here. We've forgiven each other for the poor choices made and pain inflicted in times past. We're still together. We still love each other, yes?"

Sirius nodded, raising a hand to brush the back of his fingers over her cheek then her ear then to rest his palm against the back of her neck. "I love you so much, Katie. I want you for all my life – as short or as long as it may be. I want children with you. No more questions of forgiveness. Just…just us. Yes?" He gently pulled her toward him and Kate moved willingly until they were nose to nose. She reached up and wound her arms around his neck and tilted her head to capture his lips with hers. They kissed softly, gently, tenderly for some minutes and Sirius felt the fear and pain of the day begin to fade.

"Make love to me," Kate murmured against his lips. Sirius caught his breath at her words, kissing her once more before pulling back from her embrace and rising, pulling Kate upward with him. He wound his fingers through hers and, smiling, led her to his bedroom – now theirs – and closed the door behind them.


	63. Mysteries Presented

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

"What did you find out?" Kingsley closed the door to the small conference room behind his office cube and took his place behind his desk, pausing for a moment to cast a strong silencing charm.

Tonks settled in the guest chair opposite the desk, her expression grim. "Spear's dead," she said.

Kingsley started in his chair. This was not something he had expected to hear. Missing? Yes. Seen with known Death Eaters? Of course. Dead? No. "Talk to me, Tonks."

"Dawlish was just about to end his shift early this morning when the call came in from Azkaban. The caller said that one of the guards had found him in his cell during rounds just before dawn. Dawlish headed out to the island. Predictably, there was no 'crime scene', as such. There were some signs of a brief scuffle on the floor of the cell, and the empty syringe, but nothing else," Tonks responded. "Dawlish had a time getting the paperwork through to have him transported to London, but he managed. The Examiners at St. Mungo's determined that he was poisoned. They found a small puncture wound in his throat where they believe the potion was administered. The Spell Work-up suggested that Petrificus Totalis was used to immobilize him before the poison was administered."

"What type of poison was used?" Kingsley wanted to know.

"Acromantula venom," Tonks said, quietly. "The Examiners said he died within minutes of injection. "

Kingsley shuddered slightly and looked across the desk at Tonks. "Not a pleasant way to die," he said in response. "Did the Examiners fix a time of death?"

"They think he died no more than thirty minutes before he was found, so sometime between 3 and 4 this morning," the young Auror replied. She paused for a few moments. "We've had a hell of a time getting our hands on the visitors' record, but Dawlish managed to put a sealing charm and several protection spells on the prison office where all records are kept. There has been no tampering with it since he came back."

Kingsley's face darkened. "We can only hope that no one tampered with it before he did so," he said.

Tonks looked at him thoughtfully. "You know, Kings, I don't think anyone did. Think about it. He was a former Auror who had plea-bargained his way out of The Kiss by turning witness against Malfoy. The guards over in Azkaban don't necessarily think about or care whether their prisoners live or die…and they're not the sharpest quills in the desk. I would be surprised if any of the Azkaban guards tampered with the records."

"Perhaps. It would depend on the guards, though, wouldn't it? Do we have Severus' report on the 'serum' in Jarvis' vial yet?" Kingsley asked her.

Tonks shook her head. "Not yet."

"Dumbledore is calling an Order meeting at Headquarters for tomorrow night," Kingsley told her. "I would imagine that Snape would attend and include that analysis in his report."

"Kings, do you think there's a connection between Spear's death and Jarvis' vial?" Tonks asked.

Kingsley shrugged. "There could be, but Jarvis couldn't have used that same potion on Kate. He could certainly never have risked her dropping dead in front of the entire Wizengamot, could he?"

"No," Tonks agreed. "But there are other potions where Acromantula venom is used in extremely low proportion to effect certain behaviors. Some, when used in conjunction with certain spells, can be quite useful – not to mention potent."

Kingsley looked at Tonks thoughtfully for a long moment as a smile slowly spread across his face. "Head over to Hogwarts and speak with Severus. See if he can tie your line of thought back to Jarvis' potion. And let's make certain we've gotten all of Malfoy's wands. A little "Priori Incantatem" might be in order, depending upon what Severus has to say. Let's also be prepared to confiscate Jarvis' wand for review, as well."

XXXXXXXX

Tonks made her way up the path to the school and slipped inside the massive doors to the school's cavernous entrance hall. As always, she felt the tingle of nostalgia course through her as the familiar sights and smells of the old castle brought her back to her own schooldays. Tonks checked her watch and noted that classes were about to end for the day, which meant that the hallways and staircases would soon fill with students. Not wanting to be seen by anyone – particularly Umbridge – Tonks moved with uncharacteristic stealth as she quickly descended the dim stairwell that led to Snape's dungeon classroom and lab. No sooner had she reached the hall outside the classroom than the door burst open, students spilling eagerly into the corridor. Tonks barely had time to tuck herself into a small alcove to the left of the door where she waited silently for the students to all disburse. She didn't have long to wait; Snape was the type of professor that inspired a speedy exit in his students. No one lingered.

When she was certain the coast was clear, Tonks carefully stepped out of the shadow of the alcove and entered the Potions classroom, closing the door quietly behind her.

"I assume you are here at Shacklebolt's direction," came the rich baritone of the Potion Master, seated behind his desk.

Tonks jumped a bit at the sound – and silently cursed herself for being startled by the dour professor. The place really does take me back to my school days, she thought to herself.

"Well?"

"I am," Tonks confirmed, walking up to the massive desk at the front of the room. "There have been …developments in the Malfoy case and the analysis of Jarvis' potion vial has become even more critical – and time sensitive."

Snape's black eyes rested on her face for a moment. "What has transpired?"

"Spear is dead," Tonks advised. "Acromantula venom, by injection."

Snape raised one eyebrow and inclined his head slightly. "Were you surprised to hear he'd been murdered?"

Tonks shook her head. "Not entirely. Were you?"

Snape remained silent, but rose from his seat and indicated that she do the same. Tonks followed the dark, silent figure across the room and watched him wave his hand over one of the massive stones in the wall. It shimmered then seemed to stretch and grow until a door appeared where the stone had been. With another wave of his hand, the door opened and Snape stood aside, gesturing that she enter. Tonks hesitated, earning an exasperated sigh and a roll of the eyes from the Potions Master.

"Come along, you silly girl," he snapped. "This door leads to my private rooms, the first of which is my personal laboratory, not some medieval torture chamber! I could hardly perform any type of analysis for the Order under the very nose of Dolores Umbridge, could I?"

Tonks flushed and quickly walked through the doorway, taking care not to accidentally brush against the infuriating man as she did so.

"You didn't answer my question," she said once they were both inside the lab and Snape had resealed the doorway. To her relief, the door remained visible, however.

"Nothing escapes you, I see; no wonder you are such an effective Auror," he murmured, removing a vial and a sheaf of parchment from a locked cabinet against the wall.

Tonks huffed indignantly. "Could we just kill the bloody sarcasm for once, Snape? I'd like an answer."

One corner of Snape's mouth twitched a bit and Tonks was stunned to find herself wondering if Severus Snape was actually enjoying a bit of a tease. If he actually smiles, I'll probably need to spend time at St Mungo's to get over the shock!

"Very well, Ms. Tonks," he drawled. "To answer your question – without the bloody sarcasm – no, I was unsurprised; in fact, I expected it. It was largely due to the late Mr. Spear's interview with your superiors that Malfoy was brought in for questioning, wasn't it?" At her nod, he placed both vial and parchment on the table between them. "And, as a result of that interview – and details revealed under the influence of Veritaserum - placed on trial. Surely, you aren't naïve enough to believe that a betrayal of that magnitude would go unpunished?"

Tonks shook her head. "Of course not. Did you know that…"

"My comments are not based on any direct knowledge about Mr. Spear in specific," Snape interrupted her smoothly. "Let's just say that I am a student of history, shall we?"

Tonks couldn't help but smirk a bit at that comment. "Of course. Shall we also change the subject slightly and talk about your analysis? While history is an important teacher, I find that I'm more interested in current events."

It was Snape's turn to smirk at the young woman. "Touché, Ms. Tonks. Yes, let us turn our attention to the contents of Mr. Jarvis' vial. I assume that Kingsley sent you here to see if a link could be established between the contents of this vial and the instrument of Mr. Spear's untimely demise?"

Tonks gave him a genuine smile this time. "You assume correctly, Severus," she said.

Snape's head shot up and he gave Tonks a stern look. "Do not presume that our current level of détente allows you unlimited liberties, young woman," he advised, his voice tense.

"Relax Severus; I just called you by your given name," Tonks said, her voice equally stern. "You don't really need to worry about 'liberties' unless I jump you …which is hardly likely. Now, tell me about Jarvis' potion."

Snape's cheeks seemed to take on a bit of color, unusual against his normal pallor. He cleared his throat, straightened his shoulders and handed her the parchment. "It has a trace of Acromantula venom, as you can plainly see. A low dose, as I've noted. I remember you as a fair potions student, Ms. Tonks. Perhaps you can tell me the impact of this venom in the stated proportion." Snape paused, expectantly, watching his former student closely.

"It's a catalytic agent," Tonks said, distractedly as she reviewed the remainder of his notes. As she reached the bottom of the page, her eyes widened and immediately returned to a notation near the beginning of his report. After reading through the analysis one more time, Tonks looked up at him, her face pale. Snape remained silent, but his eyes glittered.

"It's a catalytic agent for both the asphodel and wormwood and delays the onset of the properties of powdered hellebore," she said quietly. "It further extends the altered effect of the potion so that an antidote is required to release the victim from those effects. Severus, with the powdered hellebore added to the ingredients, this will…"

He nodded, grimly. "Yes, it will extend the Draught of Living Death into infinity; for how can the antidote be administered if the victim cannot be found? The inclusion of powdered hellebore will, eventually, result in the victim being rendered invisible. The catalytic impact of the Acromantula venom, in this combination, delays the invisibility aspect of the potion by as much as ninety minutes.

"Kate would have experienced abdominal cramping, which Jarvis would, no doubt, have put down to her miscarriage. That would have looked bad for Malfoy, but could have been excused as the lingering result of her battle injuries. 'Reasonable doubt' is the Muggle legal term, I believe," Snape continued.

Tonks picked up the thread of the analysis. "They wouldn't have been able to conclusively prove that it wasn't injury-related, and as they had undoubtedly structured the potion to ensure that Kate's symptoms appeared gradually, that claim might have been credible. I'm sure Fudge would have oozed sympathy at her condition and offered to delay the trial until Kate was well enough to continue."

"But by that time, the hellebore would have been activated and she would have disappeared from view – her whereabouts known only to the perpetrators," Snape finished.

"And when she never reappeared, Malfoy would have gone free on mistrial judgment," Tonks stopped, her eyes widening. "What do you want to wager that those gits would have suggested that she'd gone off with Sirius Black, who was obviously responsible for the Azkaban break-out as originally assumed?"

Snape nodded. "Given the aggregate attention of those in power at the Ministry, it seems likely that things would have gone that way, doesn't it? And, of course, Kate would have been implicated as the Auror who controlled it all from the inside. She would have joined Black on the "Most Wanted" list," he finished.

"Like Bonnie and Clyde," Tonks muttered.

"Pardon?" Snape's brows were drawn together in confusion.

Tonks shook her head. "Muggle couple. Americans. Went on a bank robbing and murder spree in the States back in the 1920's." At his incredulous look, she continued. "Dad's a Muggle, remember? Between his infatuation with Americans and Arthur Weasley's love of Muggles, I've picked up a few things over the years."

Snape had stopped listening, lost in thought. "Can you get me a sample of Spear's blood from the Examiners at St Mungo's? I don't suppose you found the syringe used to inject it, did you? That would be helpful, as well."

"I suppose we could manage to get those over to you. Going to try to tie the venom together with this one?" Tonks asked.

"I may be able to do so, yes. If I can obtain a sample of the venom from the syringe, I can possibly analyze the chemical composition against that of the venom I found in Jarvis' potion," Snape said, thoughtfully.

"Brilliant!" Tonks exclaimed. "Then, we'd have him dead to rights!"

Snape shook his head. "Don't allow your enthusiasm to overpower your intellect, Ms. Tonks. If I can tie the two together, it will mean only that the venom came from the same Acromantula."

"But, Severus, obtaining venom from an Acromantula is tricky. The beast has to be freshly dead and the individual removing it has to have some knowledge of how to handle them," Tonks replied.

Snape's eyebrows arched. "Very good, Ms. Tonks. It would seem that you have some investigative footwork to do, wouldn't it? And I will need the syringe and blood sample as soon as you can manage it." He tapped his fingers on the counter as he thought. "If you can bring it here to me tomorrow morning, Floo directly into the Annex Great Room at 10 o'clock. I'll check in at that time. Do not attempt any preliminary communication, as it's too dangerous. Umbridge is most unstable and she turns up at the most inconvenient times and places. It would not do to have her discover our … activities."

Tonks couldn't resist a final tease. "Why, Severus, you make it sound as if we're doing something … naughty."

Snape drew himself up to his full height and looked down his nose at her. "Ms. Tonks, if you do not desist this line of comment immediately, I can assure you that I will make you wish that you had never uttered the word … 'naughty' in my presence."

Tonks giggled. "Yes, Professor," she said sweetly, heading for the door. As she reached it, however, she turned back, her face serious. "Severus?"

Snape stopped short behind her with an exasperated sigh. "Yes, Ms. Tonks?"

"I just wanted to say 'thank you' for all of this; really, for everything you do. I have a fair idea just how difficult it is for you with everything you do for Dumbledore and for the whole Order, really. I'm sorry if I've added to it sometimes by thinking that you're a snarky git and everything, but really…" Tonks stopped, realizing what she had said and looked up at him cautiously.

Snape's face showed his surprise, but he quickly rearranged his features into their typically impassive appearance. "Make no mistake, Ms. Tonks. I am 'snarky'," he said, his rich voice sounding ominous in the dim light of the dungeon. But Tonks recognized that the usual harsh lines of his face were slightly less so and she was glad she's stuck her neck out and spoken her mind.

"See you in the morning, Severus," she said, smiling.

He inclined his head slightly as he held the door open for her. "Ms. Tonks."

Tonks was halfway down the steep path leading away from the school when she remembered that she hadn't stopped to see Kate as she's planned. Tomorrow, she thought to herself and, picturing the small cubicle she called an office, Tonks turned on her heel and Apparated away.

XXXXXXXX

Kate put the tray on top of the dresser and quietly closed the bedroom door. Casting a quick Stasis on the coffee pot to keep the contents hot, she turned to make her way over to the bed where Sirius still lay sleeping. Kate pulled the chair from the other side of the room and placed it next to Sirius' side of the large bed, making herself comfortable in its depths. She smiled as she watched the dark-haired wizard sleep. Even though the tender skin around his eyes still showed signs of the emotions of the previous two days, his expression was peaceful and for that, Kate was grateful. Her testimony had reawakened all of Sirius' emotions from that time so long ago. It had put him straight back into the restraining arms of the burly MLE wizards on that gray day in London. He could feel the cool, clammy mist on his skin, smell the scent of magic in the air – that curious mix of burnt sugar and cracked pepper. He could see her face behind the Muggle police barricade and then her back as she fled from the destruction – both physical and emotional – that lay before her. Sirius had been unprepared to be even metaphorically returned to that day, that place and the despair of it all had affected him greatly. But it was settled, now. The very last piece of that dark day they had needed to confront, to defeat, had been put behind them. Restoring Sirius' name and bringing Pettigrew to justice was the remaining obstacle to their future. Having got through the past six months, with all the challenges that had been thrown at them, Kate knew they brought unprecedented strength to whatever lay before them. The previous day – and the night of Kate's return to the Annex - had been spent relaxing, talking, making love and generally taking the time they sorely needed to put their relationship back on track. No more missteps for us – well, not in the important things. We'll win this time, Sirius, Kate thought to herself. We have to.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you that it's rude to stare?" a gravelly, low-pitched voice rose out of the mop of black hair on the pillow.

"I can't believe my mother ever had this kind of 'staring' opportunity," Kate replied.

Sirius brought one hand out from under the covers and pushed his tangled hair away from his eyes to look at her, his expression thoroughly amused. "I vaguely remember your mother and I'll wager that you're right!"

Kate chuckled. "Interested in some coffee?"

Sirius shook his head. "Interested in a kiss," he said, scooting over to give her room and patting the space next to him.

Kate rose and settled herself next to Sirius, their faces close enough to feel each other's breath. "A kiss, is it?" she whispered and smiled when he nodded eagerly. Kate leaned over and pressed her lips to his, lingering for several moments. When Kate pulled back, Sirius leaned forward and kissed her again, then once more before lying back against the pillow.

"Good morning," he said, smiling as he reached over and tucked a lock of her hair behind one ear.

"Good morning," Kate caught his hand and placed a gentle kiss on the inside of his wrist. "How are you this morning? Feeling well and rested and so forth?"

"I am well, and rested and so forth," he responded with a grin and a suggestive wink.

"I would think that you'd had enough 'so forth' for one night, Mr. Black," Kate said with a smile.

"Never, Katie girl," he said leaning over to kiss her again. As he deepened the kiss a loud crash was heard from the direction of the Great Room, followed by an equally loud, "Bugger!"

Kate and Sirius looked at each other and said, simultaneously, "Tonks."

"Kate? Sirius?" Tonks called from the Great Room. "Are you here?" Her voice was getting closer.

Sirius leapt from the bed and grabbed some clothing from the back of the chair where he had deposited it the night before. "Tonks! Stay where you are," he hollered, scrambling into his jeans and tugging his jumper over his head. "Bollocks!" he muttered as he stubbed his toe on the bedpost. It didn't help that Kate was giggling at the sight of Sirius hopping on one foot whilst his eyes scanned the room for his boots. "Bollocks, I'll go barefoot," he said, turning to face Kate, who was still lounging on the bed in his robe. "I don't know what you're laughing at, Katie girl. I'm about to throw open this door and you'd better step lively and find your own clothing before Tonks sees you!" Sirius placed one hand on the doorknob. It was enough to get Kate up and moving.

"Fine," she said, untying the belt and shrugging the robe from her shoulders, watching as it puddled on the floor at her feet. It had the desired effect as Sirius immediately fell silent at the sight of her. "Now, where did I toss those robes?"

Sirius swallowed audibly. "Over there," he mumbled, pointing at the chair against the opposite wall. Kate gave him a cheeky smile and walked over to the chair. Retrieving her knickers and robes, Kate dressed quickly and then walked over to Sirius, still waiting, dry-mouthed, by the bedroom door. Kate kissed him quickly then looked pointedly at his hand, still resting on the doorknob. "Are you going to open this thing or are we Apparating into the Great Room?"

Sirius opened the door waited for Kate to pass him. As she did, he reached forward and gave her bottom a soft pinch. "Wench," he whispered, watching her flinch in surprise and bring her hand around to rub the offended spot through her robes.

"Tonks!" Sirius greeted his cousin in a loud voice, intentionally blocking out anything Kate might have said in return. "Sit down," he invited kissing Tonks lightly on the cheek. He turned to Kate, who was standing beside him. "Would you like to sit, darling, or is standing more appealing this morning?" Sirius dropped his gaze to the vicinity of her bottom then looked back at her face, his mouth twitching in suppressed laughter.

Kate walked over to where the young Auror sat on the couch and dropped down easily onto the cushion next to her. "Thank you, dearest, but I think I'll sit over here with Dora," she said, smirking back at him as he sat down in the opposite chair.

"Blimey," Tonks said. "The two of you are starting to remind me of my parents!"

Sirius' eyes narrowed as he looked over at his cousin. "Even though we're not even remotely old enough, right?"

Tonks snickered and rolled her eyes. "Yes, Sirius; that's exactly what I meant. You're way too young."

"Acts too young, anyway," Kate put in, bringing her hand to her bottom again and giving Sirius a quick wink.

"Not exactly a new personality trait," came a deep, familiar voice from the direction of the hearth. Both Kate and Sirius rose quickly, turning toward the voice. Tonks remained where she was, but turned to watch the interaction that was about to take place.

"Snape," Sirius muttered, his face darkening. Kate reached over and entwined her fingers with his, unseen by anyone else.

"Hello, Severus," she said, smiling. "You startled us, I'm afraid."

Severus' expression softened slightly at Kate's greeting. "How are you feeling, Kate?" he asked and she felt Sirius move even closer to her.

"I'm well, thank you. And thank you for stepping in and confiscating that potion Jarvis was determined to give me in court. I appreciated your assistance," she said. "Please, sit down."

When they were seated, Kate excused herself and brought the coffee tray from the bedroom and, after everyone had a steaming mug of coffee in front of them, she sat back, looked at both Snape and Tonks and asked, "What brings you both to the Annex?"

Tonks put her cup down on the tray and folded her hands in her lap. "You should both know that there have been some developments in the case. Spear is dead."

"Perhaps you should give them both an update," Snape suggested and Tonks nodded, launching into the details of her meeting with both Kingsley and Severus from the previous afternoon.

"He was murdered in his cell?" Sirius didn't wait for her reply before continuing. "Do you have the visitors' records and the duty roster for the night shift? Someone should put a seal on the…."

Tonks held up her hand to stop Sirius' tirade. "Yes, Sirius. Kingsley has all the records. And, Severus, I believe you're waiting for these," and Tonks reached into her robes, withdrawing a sealed vial and a syringe encased in a magical protection shield and handing them to him.

Snape took possession of the items, glancing at them briefly before placing them in his own robes pocket. "How many people have handled the syringe, do you know?"

Tonks nodded. "Dawlish and Kingsley. Here," she withdrew a bit of parchment from her robes and handed it to Snape. "Kingsley did an evaluation when it came into his possession. Any unmasked magical imprint he found in that evaluation is listed on this report. We thought it might be useful to you."

"Indeed," he murmured, folding it carefully and placing it, too, in his pocket.

Sirius watched the whole exchange with barely contained curiosity. "Snape, what's going on? What are you doing in all this?"

Snape looked across at his childhood enemy and Kate could see him struggle to bite back the first comment – obviously derogatory – that had arisen to his lips. As it was, his response was barely civil. "I have just been given critical evidence that may assist in tying the potion in Jarvis' vial to the substance used to kill Mr. Spear in his cell in Azkaban. I am going to test it, Black and evaluate whether or not there is, indeed, a link. I wasn't aware that I needed to explain myself to you."

Kate squeezed Sirius' hand tightly and he winced. It accomplished her goal, however, as Sirius' next words to Snape were, to the surprise of all, polite. "I'm sure you've also noted that the means used to kill Spear is a Muggle medical device, yes?"

Snape nodded once.

"Muggles cannot see Azkaban, let alone access it," Sirius went on. "I would think that this perhaps would mean that the feat was accomplished by a Dark Wizard with some familiarity with Muggles and, possibly, Muggle medicine…"

Snape sighed. "The list of candidates isn't exactly small, Black."

Sirius nodded vigorously. "I realize that, Snape, but think. Who had reason to silence Spear? Malfoy. Well, he was locked up at the time. Trust me, he couldn't have done it directly. Jarvis. At Malfoy's behest – yes, but I doubt very highly that his name would appear on the visitors' record. Rather than focus on the obvious, perhaps we need to look deeper. Who would be willing to take such a risk? Obviously, someone who wanted to impress; or someone who was forced to take that risk." He leaned forward, his expression intense. "Take the magical footprint of the syringe, Snape, then think of everyone you know on the inside of the Death Eaters. The obvious candidates could not possibly have done it, so let's think about who they could have manipulated into doing their dirty work for them."

Snape's gaze locked onto Sirius' and the latter felt the Potions Master enter his mind. Those watching the exchange saw Snape's eyes widen in surprise, then narrow as he broke the connection.

"Do you understand?" Sirius asked, his eyes glittering.

Snape nodded.

"Good. Because that's the last fuckin' time you get permission to do that. Got it?" Sirius said, shortly.

To everyone's surprise, Snape's voice lacked any sarcasm or anger. "Indeed, I do," he responded. "I shall not need another look. I'll let you know what I find." Snape rose and, as he did so, Tonks jumped to her feet. "Severus! Remember that you need to report your findings to me, as well."

Snape turned. "Nymphadora, I doubt very sincerely that you would allow me to forget and, since I do not wish to be – how did you phrase it? – Ah yes – 'jumped'…in any manner, I daresay I'll keep your wishes in mind. I will contact you," he looked over at Sirius, "all of you, when I know more. I shall endeavor to complete the analysis before tonight's Order meeting. I trust you will all be in attendance." At their nods, he made his way to the hearth, tossed in a small pinch of Floo powder from the mantel and disappeared into the green flames. The last thing the occupants of the Annex heard was his voice, calling out his destination: "Snape's private laboratory – Dungeon".


	64. Clarification of Mysteries

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

The following evening saw the usual occupants of Grimmauld – plus members of the Order most closely involved with the Hogsmeade battle & its aftermath - seated around the kitchen table, enjoying dinner before the meeting began. To avoid creating suspicion at school, Dumbledore had declined joining them for dinner, choosing instead to remain at Hogwarts for the evening meal and Apparating from Hogsmeade afterward.

Kingsley, Tonks, Remus, Bill Weasley and his parents, Kate and Sirius were just finishing dinner when they heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs.

"Evening, Severus," Kingsley greeted the Potions Master as he entered the kitchen.

Snape inclined his head in the direction of the Auror. "Shacklebolt," he replied. Snape glanced around the rest of the table before walking toward his customary chair located in a shadowy corner removed from the immediate seating area.

Tonks shook her head. "Severus," she said. "Come join us. There's no need for you to sit way over there."

Everyone looked from Tonks to the dour professor and, to their amazement, he did as she bade him to do, taking the vacant chair on Kate's other side. Privately, Kate thought it did the man good to have Sirius outside his direct line of vision. Merlin knew it didn't hurt Sirius, either.

"Would you like tea?" Kate asked Severus after he was seated, but he declined with a shake of his head. "I'm fine, thank you." He paused for a moment. "I wonder if I might speak with you and Black privately before Albus arrives." Seeing her hesitation, he reassured her. "Kate, Albus suggested I meet with you before the meeting began."'

Kate's eyebrows drew together in concern, but she nodded. "Let's go out to the porch," she said quietly. "It's just down the corridor there." As Snape rose and moved toward the doorway she had indicated, Kate leaned over and whispered in Sirius' ear. "Severus would like to speak with us prior to the meeting." She rose, taking Sirius' hand and walked quietly but swiftly to the doorway through which Snape had so recently exited.

They arrived on the porch to find Severus waiting for them just inside the door. Sirius brushed past him and moved to the hearth where, with a wave of his hand, he conjured a fire to take the chill off the room. He gestured to the sofa and chairs situated before the hearth. "Sit down," Sirius said to the others before taking a seat on the sofa. Kate settled herself beside him and together they waited for Snape to sit down and say whatever it was that Albus wanted shared with Sirius away from the other Order members.

"I assume this has to do with your testing of Spear's blood sample and the magical imprint of the syringe, yes?" Kate ventured when Severus did not immediately speak.

Snape nodded. "What I am about to tell you requires me to disclose significant detail regarding certain activities in which I'm involved – rather covert activities on behalf of the Order and executed at Dumbledore's direction. It is only due to his insistence that I have agreed to do so."

Sirius tensed and drew a sharp breath as if to speak, but Kate grasped his hand to head him off. "Severus, we appreciate that you cannot disclose the entirety of your work, nor would we ask you to do so," she said quietly. "I am grateful for whatever you can tell us and, of course, it will not be repeated outside this room."

Snape's glance fell on Sirius where it lingered for a moment. He then nodded curtly and began. "Due to the nature of my…role, I am privy to certain information that would be unavailable to most. My access to certain individuals is virtually unrestricted. It is due to that status that I have information which Dumbledore feels is critical to share with you both."

Sirius had begun fidgeting during Snape's last comments. "We're all impressed with your status in the Death Eater Club, Snape. Can't you just get on with it?"

Surprisingly, Snape didn't react in his typical, waspish fashion. Instead, he continued. "I have analyzed the sample of Spear's blood provided to me by Ms. Tonks. The Acromantula venom removed from that sample matches the traces of the venom found in Jarvis' vial."

Sirius nodded. "So, rather unsurprisingly, the venom for both potions came from the same beast," he commented.

"So it would appear," Snape confirmed. "Which means that the creator of the potion has both magical creature expertise as well as some skill in Potions. I have also analyzed the magical footprint of the syringe, itself, to assist in helping to identify the person who might have used it to kill Spear." Snape then looked over at Sirius and Kate felt him tense, his hand gripping hers more tightly.

"And?" Sirius gritted out.

"And, I found the predictable imprint of Dawlish, who was the Auror who first responded to the call. I also found traces of Shacklebolt's magic, although less tangible than Dawlish, which indicates he knew a bit more about evidence handling than his underling," Snape said, disdainfully. "But there was also another imprint – a bit more complex to identify."

"But you have made the identification," Kate interjected, squeezing Sirius' hand hard in an attempt to get him to release some of the crushing pressure on her fingers.

Snape nodded. "I believe I have. Bear in mind, however, that this only identifies who held the syringe; not at whose orders that murder was carried out," he cautioned.

"But, clearly, Severus, now that you know who performed the action, it should be simple enough to detain and interrogate whomever it is; that will lead us to the person who gave the order, shouldn't it?" Kate reasoned.

Sirius locked eyes with Snape. "Not necessarily, I suspect," he said quietly. "Or we wouldn't be speaking privately." He paused. "Give over, Snape. No more stalling. Who handled the syringe that killed Jarvis? "

Snape's eyes narrowed. "Peter Pettigrew."

Kate's eyes widened, but Sirius' expression did not immediately change. It took a moment, but when Sirius detonated, it was with his customary intensity. Sirius shook off the hand Kate had placed on his arm and rose abruptly, pacing in front of the fireplace. "That bastard!" he spat. "Isn't it bloody ironic that he actually makes it inside a cell in Azkaban, but it isn't his own?" The pacing continued and, although Sirius said nothing further, his pain was clearly etched on his face.

Snape looked from Sirius' pacing form to Kate, raising his eyebrows. "There's more," he murmured. "He needs to hear all of it."

"Sirius, come sit down. Severus isn't finished," Kate said. When the Animagus didn't respond, she added, "Please." While Sirius did not return to his seat, he did move closer to where the others were sitting and, with his hands shoved into his pockets, he awaited the rest of Severus' news.

"As you both know, Pettigrew has returned to the Dark Lord's service, but his position within the ranks of Death Eaters is not…favored," Snape continued. "Despite his contribution to bringing the Dark Lord back to a corporeal form, he largely remains a lackey who does as he is bid. He is seen as a servant; one who executes the wishes of those in the inner circle. That has led to resentment on his part and he continually seeks ways to improve his status. Pettigrew's opinion is never sought on matters of any consequence. Every now and again, however, Pettigrew displays some insight and, when given the chance to speak, will make a suggestion or observation that actually makes sense."

Sirius snorted bitterly. "Completely by accident, I can assure you. That rat is hardly a genius."

"While that may indeed be true," Snape said, impatiently. "'That rat' was bright enough to hide his true loyalties from his friends in a manner convincing enough to lead to their ruin. You are a bigger fool than even I imagined if you continue to dismiss Pettigrew so easily, Black!"

Sirius' temper was short and his frustration level with both wizard and situation running quite high. Kate heard the low growl begin at the base of his throat and saw his hands clench into fists in the pockets of his robes. "I am well aware of that bastard's history. I've certainly paid the price for it, haven't I?" he spat.

"And you will pay it again – or perhaps an even greater one – if you do not control your emotions where Pettigrew is concerned," Snape shot back. "Think about what has happened here, Black. Think about how it could have come about, what it could mean and what it could provide the Order by way of opportunity. You're always whining like a child over what you cannot do; well, here's a chance for you to make a contribution, but you must put logic and reason before emotion. If you cannot do that, you will remain a bystander forever."

Sirius' gaze was fixed on the Potions Master and his expression was filled with anger, bitterness and contempt. "I do not need you, Snape, to tell me how to behave or where my contribution lies. When the time comes, I will fight with the Order. I will protect Harry. I will keep my promises to James and Lily. I will…"

"…die in the attempt," Snape interjected, bringing Sirius' tirade to a halt. "You do not seem to understand that you cannot fight 'with the Order", as you define it; to do so will only endanger Potter – not protect him! For whatever ill-advised reason that child possesses, he looks to you as a father. Knowing that you are safe allows him to retain a fragile hold on his own focus and concentration. If you were to do something reckless and headstrong with the boy in this war – as you did with his parents in the last one, you will not only endanger him, but our entire world, as well." He stopped, breathing heavily and giving Sirius a disgusted look. "Potter is the instrument by which the Dark Lord will be vanquished. Remove the instrument and he will flourish; I know this to be true. Get hold of yourself, Black. There are things you know of Azkaban that we do not, as there are things I know of Pettigrew that you do not. You can either continue to wallow in your own self-pity and misguided plans of battle glory or you can grow up and accept the role that you can play in this War – and help Potter in the bargain."

Kate glanced at Sirius. His normally pale complexion was even more so and his eyes glittered with a mixture of anger and self-recrimination. His hands clenched and unclenched in his pockets and he trembled with the effort it took for him to keep himself silent.

"That's enough," Kate said quietly to both men. "More than enough, actually. Severus, I appreciate the position that you're in and the potential cost in revealing yourself as much as you have done this evening. I agree that there is still a great deal to discuss and plan; I do not agree that it serves any purpose to bring up the past – especially those events that caused so much pain to so many. Sirius, you cannot continue to think that your role with the Order will be a traditional one or that you will be given assignments and responsibilities as you were in the first War, because it cannot be so. While Severus' comments were, in part, unnecessarily cruel, he made several valid points, particularly about keeping Harry safe. You do need to begin to think in untraditional terms about how you can protect him, Sirius. You have a very unique role with Harry and there are ways that only you can protect him. Above all, the two of you need to find a way to work together in this. We can't fight each other if we're to be successful in fighting against the Dark Lord, as well." Her voice was quiet, but steely and when she finished speaking, the room was silent and the tension was almost overwhelming. Suddenly, there was a shimmer around Sirius and in a moment, a large black dog stood where the wizard had been. With a growl, the Animagus turned sharply and ran from the room.

Severus gasped before he could stop himself.

"Surely, you knew," Kate said, turning her attention from the doorway to Snape.

The Potions Master took a breath. "It had been alluded to, but I had not been directly told," he stated. "I should have surmised it long ago." Snape turned to her. "'Wormtail'", he said derisively. "He would never have managed an Animagus transformation on his own. It was a skill he had prior to taking the Dark Mark; I should have known his friends had something to do with it. Black's a dog – how fitting," he said. His expression changed, and Kate watched as he seemed to come to a sort of revelation. "Potter – he was…was he a stag?"

Kate nodded. "Hence, the nickname, 'Prongs"," she confirmed. "Harry's Patronus is a stag, as well."

Snape nodded. "Indeed. I have seen Potter's Patronus; this certainly explains the form it takes."

"Severus, as your role with the Order and … elsewhere requires strict confidentiality, I must ask for the same consideration for Sirius' Animagus status. It is not widely known – in fact, there are some Order members who are not aware of his ability. We have always been concerned that Pettigrew would tell the Dark Lord about Padfoot. Do you know if…" Kate trailed off.

"I can assure you that Pettigrew has not divulged that particular detail. It would have been of great interest to certain parties within the ranks – not just to the Dark Lord," Severus replied. He stopped and glanced over to the doorway through which Padfoot had run. Turning back to Kate, he continued. "Kate, Black cannot continue to do this. He must bring his temper under control. Tonight, at the meeting, this information will be given to the rest of the Order. We will discuss our theory of how Pettigrew became involved in this matter and what his role might have been in Spear's murder. Black must be present and able to participate in that discussion. He is the only one of us who is intimate with the schedules of guards and other routines within Azkaban. That will be invaluable to us if we are to attempt to officially tie Pettigrew to Spear's murder – through whatever route brought him to it."

Kate reached over and laid her hand on his arm. "You really believe we can do that, Severus? We can truly tie Pettigrew to Spear's death – publicly?"

Snape nodded once. "It's possible," he said slowly. "Kate, caution is required here. We can ill afford to promise what we may not ultimately be able to deliver. Pettigrew is weak and, if captured, would use whatever inside information he has to potentially bargain himself into a better sentence. We must make certain that we take full advantage of whatever that information brings to us. And, as much as it pains me to say so, we need Black on board for the planning. Can you deliver him?"

She nodded. "I'll go speak with him. Can you explain the situation to Albus; buy us some time?"

"A minimal amount, Kate. I realize you have a monumental task before you, but Albus and I should not be away from the school for a long time," he reminded.

XXXXXXXX

Kate paused at the doorway of the library when she saw the blazing hearth within. Despite all the healing Sirius had experienced over the past year, he was still not quite able to shed the constant chill that had settled into his bones while imprisoned. Whenever one encountered a blazing hearth, Sirius could generally be found settled in front of it. Entering as quietly as possible, her search ended when she found Sirius seated at one end of the sofa in front of the fire.

"You're going to miss the meeting," Kate said quietly as she approached him.

Sirius looked over his shoulder at her, then returned his gaze to the photo album he held in his hands.

"Sirius?"

"Go on without me, Kate. You heard Snape; I'm destined to be a bystander. Well, that or repeat all my past sins."

"For the love of Merlin," Kate muttered then walked around the sofa and sat down next to him. "So your answer is to sit here looking through old photographs?"

Sirius' focus was on a photo that was taken just before the Fidelius was cast. James and Sirius were in the Potters' kitchen in Godric's Hollow; they were talking and their expressions showed the strain of the times. James leaned against the sink, while Sirius had hoisted himself up on the counter to James' left. Each held a bottle of butterbeer in hand and, from Sirius' face, one could easily tell that whatever point he was making was critical to him. His eyes held a look of almost desperate pleading and, as Kate looked, James' expression changed from one of obstinent refusal to sadness then ultimately, to acceptance. "Who took this?" Kate asked him when he remained silent.

"Lily," came the answer, Sirius' voice hoarse. "She had taken a couple of pictures of Harry and still had the camera when she came in to get him some juice. James and I had finished our discussion and she just snapped the photo." Sirius turned to look at Kate. "I had just convinced him to make Pettigrew the Secret Keeper."

Kate reached over and took his hand. "Sirius, I understand that what Severus said to you brought back a lot of very painful memories. But the past isn't something we can change. It happened; it's history. The only thing we can try to do is make sure it doesn't repeat itself. Pettigrew has shown himself. He's allowed his ego and desire for position to override any glimmer of good judgment he might have had. In his effort to enhance his importance to Voldemort, Peter has exposed himself to those working against him. This is not an opportunity that comes along often; Sirius, this is the first time we've had him in our sights since that night in the Shrieking Shack. Who knows when the next chance will come? Are you going to wallow in self-pity and let him slip through our fingers again or are you going to pull it together and work with us to capture him and free you once and for all?"

Sirius remained silent, his gaze back on the photo of his long-dead mate.

Kate rose. "Alright, Sirius; I've said everything I can think of to say to you and it obviously isn't doing any good whatsoever. I'm sure Albus is here by now and Severus can't delay the meeting forever. I'm going downstairs and I'm going to work with Severus and Albus and everyone else who recognizes this chance for what it is. I'm going to see what I can contribute to help protect Harry. Join us. Stay up here and wallow; it's your choice."

Kate crossed the room slowly, willing Sirius to snap out of it and say something – anything to her, but the silence was absolute. As she reached the doorway, Kate turned. "You know, Sirius, we all made mistakes back then – myself included. There are things I did then that I wish I could go back and do differently. Now that we're in the midst of another War with the same Dark forces we met before, I find myself thinking of those mistakes more and more. Am I afraid that I will put a foot wrong this time? Of course. But what I won't do, Sirius, is let that fear stop me from doing everything I can to protect Harry in any way that I can protect him. I thought you felt the same way. Apparently, I was mistaken." With that, Kate left the library, closing the door softly behind her.

Once in the hallway, Kate paused to collect herself. She knew she had done everything in her power to reach Sirius; the rest was clearly up to him. After a few moments, Kate felt sufficiently composed to make her way downstairs and join the meeting. Whether or not Sirius took anything she had said to heart and decided to join them would remain to be seen.

XXXXXXXX

The meeting had not yet begun when Kate entered the kitchen and as she looked around the room, her eyes met the glittering black gaze of the Potions Master. He arched one eyebrow inquiringly; Kate shook her head and lifted her shoulders. Her response was enough to draw him across the room to her and Kate sighed inwardly.

"Severus, please," Kate held up one hand before he could speak. "I know what you're about to say and believe me, I tried. I've pulled out every avenue of persuasion I can think of to compel him to get over the guilt and anger and join the meeting. I don't know what else I can do at this point," she finished.

Snape frowned. "He's no different today than he was in school. Emotion over logic; personal affront over the bigger picture."

"That's unfair, Severus," Kate protested. "And not entirely true. Sirius' behavior is the result of an abusive childhood and twelve years with the Dementors for company only enhanced those memories. He's also intensely loyal and protective of those whom he loves. Sirius has positive qualities as well as not so positive; Severus, you of all people should appreciate the truth in that statement."

Severus searched her face. "Yet, I am taking a proactive role in this fight, Kate. I am not hiding in my mother's house – or a hospital facility in Scotland – whilst waiting for an opportunity to flout the rules and take action on my own terms. Consider that while you extol the virtues of Sirius Black." With that, Snape spun around and walked swiftly back to his usual chair in the shadowy corner near the table.

Kate watched him walk away with some degree of sadness at her comment to him. She recognized how difficult his life must be as she had surmised from their earlier conversation that Severus served two masters – neither of whom was himself. She turned to take her own seat at the table, seeing that the others were drifting in that direction in response to Albus' call to order.

Remus sat to her left, leaning toward her and nodding his head at the vacant chair on Kate's other side. "Where is he?" he whispered.

"Library," Kate replied. "He's having a bit of a problem coming to terms with what Severus had to say to us earlier this evening. I've tried, but Merlin only knows if he'll be down to join us."

Remus' eyebrows rose. "Now I'm even more anxious to hear what Albus has to say," he said.

The room grew quiet as Albus rose and everyone turned their attention to the head of the table, where he stood waiting to speak. "My friends," he began. "Recent events involving Ms. Morgan, Lucius Malfoy and others have led us to a critical point in our efforts to defeat Voldemort. We have incontrovertible proof that Peter Pettigrew has been connected to yet another murder and our purpose here tonight is to discuss this situation, share our knowledge of those involved and come to consensus as to how we take this opportunity and turn it to our advantage." He paused to allow those assembled to digest his comments. Albus' gaze swept over the table and as he took a breath to resume speaking, he stopped, his eyes focused on something near the doorway.

"I apologize for being late, Albus," Sirius said quietly. "Please continue." Without another word, Sirius walked quickly to the table and sat down in the chair next to Kate's. He acknowledged no one else, giving his attention exclusively to the Headmaster who, after an understanding smile, took his own seat and began to share the circumstances surrounding the apparent reappearance of Peter Pettigrew.


	65. Exploration of Mysteries

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

The news of Peter Pettigrew's apparent involvement in the murder of Malodorous Spear came as a shock to the Order members. Despite their knowledge of his contribution to the resurgence of Voldemort the year before, no one was prepared for what appeared to be an expansion of Pettigrew's job description. As far as Severus Snape was concerned, it had long been suspected that he worked on the inside of Voldemort's operation on behalf of the Order. The news he shared about Pettigrew's status within that world only served to confirm those suspicions.

After Albus had presented the facts that Kate and Sirius had already heard, the discussion began, but the key players in recent events were the only contributors; the others merely listened as they digested the news. Remus, in particular, was anxious to work through all the variables and Kate knew he still felt partially responsible for Pettigrew's escape two years before. Sirius, on the other hand, knew exactly where the blame lay for Pettigrew's many transgressions and he was not inclined to let Remus take it away from him. Kate sighed. At times like these, it seemed that Sirius wore that guilt like a cloak.

"Albus, if Peter was responsible for Spear's death, we've established that it would not have been for any conflict that might have happened between them, is that correct?" Remus asked.

Albus turned to Snape. "Severus, please."

Snape nodded. "There was no conflict that occurred between them, as such; Pettigrew and Spear did not move within the same circles. Spear was definitely on the fringes. He served one specific purpose: to remove those who could implicate members of the Dark Lord's inner circle. He thrice served that purpose before he met his own sticky end."

"Let's think about this logically, then. If Spear was the Death Eater designated to keep Voldemort's finest out of prison, his value must have dropped significantly after he gave evidence to the MLE about Malfoy. If so, Voldemort would surely have realized that he needed to find someone to take care of Spear. " Remus reasoned.

"Very good, Lupin," Snape said. "Continue."

Sirius spoke for the first time since joining the meeting. "Voldemort could ill afford to have Spear remain alive. In addition to his potential knowledge of other activities within Voldemort's movement, he definitely knew the whereabouts of the Azkaban escapees. And, of course, Voldemort's ultimate reason for having him killed would have been to set an example for the rest of the entourage: betray me and meet a similar fate!"

"Black's partially correct. Generally, the Dark Lord prefers torturing the offender in front of the others," Snape commented, his voice dark. "However, Spear was not near enough at hand for such a lesson to be taught."

"It must have frustrated Voldemort to no end to have Spear so far away – and out of his control," Remus mused.

"Indeed," Snape confirmed. "It is no coincidence that Potter has continued to have visions of the Dark Lord – or that those visions have been increasingly volatile. The Dark Lord has felt Malfoy's stupidity very keenly these past weeks. While he didn't particularly care that Kate was tortured, he cared very much that Lucius was foolish enough to put his ego ahead of common sense and, as a result, was arrested, tried and convicted for it."

Sirius had looked back at Snape at the mention of Harry's name. "Voldemort is not yet aware of Harry's connection, is he?"

Snape shook his head. "He is not."

Sirius' shoulders relaxed slightly. "And Harry is still making no progress in his lessons with you?"

Snape's eyebrows rose. "On the contrary, Black, Potter has made some progress. He has recommitted himself to his nightly exercises and, while he is not consistent, he managed to block my entry to his mind on two occasions in the past week."

Sirius nodded once. "It is safe to assume he will continue to improve, then?"

"If the boy continues to apply himself, I have no reason to doubt that he will show additional progress," Snape replied.

"Severus, was Peter's position with Voldemort compromised by Spear's addition to the ranks?" Remus asked, bringing the conversation back to the matter at hand. "I know you said that they had no direct conflict with each other, but you did not rule out any perceived slight on Peter's part."

Snape shook his head and exhaled sharply. "The Dark Lord shows great favoritism when it suits him to do so. Typically, however, he restricts that activity to those within his inner circle. I suppose the rank and file has occasion to become aware of it."

Kate smiled at her friend. "So, Peter perceives that his stock value fell a bit when Spear took the Dark Mark and dropped further still when Spear became the "go-to Wizard" for two Ministry murders."

"And as paranoid as Peter has always been, he undoubtedly worked himself into quite a state when Spear orchestrated the mass Death Eater break-out," Remus picked up the thread of Kate's thought again. "Malfoy must have known of Peter's insecurities…"

"…But Malfoy was in Azkaban right up until his trial," Sirius interrupted. "It was likely more a matter of Pettigrew recognizing an opportunity to take out his perceived competition and return Voldemort's right-hand wizard to the fold."

Snape's eyes glittered as he listened to Sirius' response and his voice dripped with sarcasm. "Precisely. And, of course, he would earn Malfoy's undying gratitude in the bargain."

Sirius snorted. "Not bloody likely. Lucius would, however, have owed him a Wizard's Debt; a happy circumstance for the rat, but fucking tragic for Malfoy!"

"Indeed," Albus joined in. "Although Lucius would not be required to die for Pettigrew – necessarily – he would be placed in a position of service to him. Should Pettigrew ask Lucius to procure an item or perform a function for him, Lucius would not be in a position to refuse."

"But, Albus, what on earth could Malfoy do – or obtain – for Pettigrew from Azkaban?" Kate asked. "Acknowledging that Pettigrew is abysmally stupid; isn't a Wizard Debt rather pointless?"

"Not necessarily," Remus replied. "It would depend entirely on the nature of the debt – and the power of the Wizard involved in the repayment of it. It might happen, for example, that Peter might have need of some service that only Malfoy could arrange; a service that could be managed from the confines of Azkaban."

"Something that could further enhance his value to Voldemort," Kate chimed in, thoughtfully. "Severus, how proficient a Legilimens is Malfoy?"

Severus came as close to smiling as anyone present could remember seeing. "Superb. His gifts are second only to those of the Dark Lord, Albus and myself. Very good, Kate."

"The trick now will be figuring out exactly what Pettigrew will ask of Malfoy," Kate continued.

"Not entirely," Albus contradicted. "The more important task will be to establish for whom the task may be requested, the reason for whatever request he ultimately makes – and, if detrimental, to determine how we can prevent it happening."

"Or counteract the result if we can't prevent it," Remus said.

They were all silent for some time and then Kate spoke. "Look, we all know Voldemort's ultimate goal: domination of our world; the destruction of the Light and, to that end, of Harry. I think that Voldemort's proved to us time and again that every move he makes is done with that goal in mind. Therefore, I think we need to ask ourselves how Pettigrew can use Malfoy's Wizard Debt to help Voldemort achieve his goal. Once we've figured that out, we should be fairly well able to work on prevention or containment, whichever seems more likely."

The others quickly agreed. Remus began. "Let's focus on Harry for a moment. The current focus for Harry is the development of his proficiency in Occlumency. It would stand to reason that his most immediate risk would come through Voldemort's discovery of the apparent link he has to Harry's mind. His realization of that link would allow him to more directly influence Harry's thoughts and, as a result, his actions. Peter is obviously aware of Voldemort's goal; the question lies in how he might take advantage of Malfoy to help further that goal."

Sirius shifted in his chair. "Snape, the Pettigrew whom Remus and I knew in school relied heavily on the opinion and assistance of others to achieve his own personal goals. When we became Animagi to help Remus, Pettigrew required both James and me to accomplish the feat and his participation occurred solely because James and I were going to do it – with or without him. When it comes down to going along or being left out, Pettigrew would go along at any price." He paused and glanced at Remus. "I'm guessing that taking the Dark Mark was not something he thought of on his own. Do you know how that came about?"

Tonks piped up. "Blimey, Sirius, that's old news; what good will it do for us to re-hash that bit of history?"

Snape rose and walked to the hearth. He stood silently for a moment or two then turned to address Tonks. "I told you recently that you could not allow your intellect to be overrun by anything; Black's question – more precisely, the answer to it – is an excellent example of why that bit of advice is one which you should take seriously." As Tonks endeavored to hide her red cheeks, Severus turned to Sirius and continued.

"Pettigrew took the Dark Mark at the suggestion of Lucius Malfoy," he stated, and the room was silent as he spoke. "It was our 6th year, Lucius' 7th and Pettigrew had finally realized that he had been the official "tag along" of your group for the whole of your time at Hogwarts. Black, you never hesitated to point out Pettigrew's shortcomings – no matter how steeped in camaraderie you comments might have been. For awhile, Pettigrew simply suffered through it as he believed it was indicative of his role as part of your little group. It was Lupin, however, who pushed him over the edge."

Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Me? Why, I was kind to Peter. I helped him with his assignments –"

Snape nodded. "Yes, Lupin. You were 'kind to him'; you did 'help him' – and he grew to hate it as it contributed to his own sense of failure – of not feeling quite good enough. When – well, when the incident occurred in our 5th year, he didn't know which camp to align himself with. Potter and Lupin had joined together in their anger toward you, Black. Peter had no idea which way to turn. You could be cruel when crossed – he'd experienced that first hand. On the other hand, both Potter and Lupin always took his side and he didn't want to compromise that. He began spending more time alone – first with Hufflepuffs who were impressed with his status as one of the infamous Marauders. As he listened to their praise, he began to believe it and soon became infatuated with himself in a way he'd never been before. When summer holidays came along, he went home and had several weeks to listen to his mother telling him how brilliant he was, how personable – and any other number of platitudes that Pettigrew was only too happy to believe. By the time he found himself back on the Hogwarts Express and discovered that you three were no closer to resolving your issues than you'd been in June, Malfoy needed to do little other than compliment the boy once or twice and the deed was done. Pettigrew was accepted for himself – he thought – and not simply as one of the biggest quartet of mischief makers the school had seen in recent memory."

Kate spoke up. "What possible motive could Lucius Malfoy have had to recruit a boy like Peter Pettigrew for Voldemort? Realistically, Malfoy is a nasty bit of baggage, but he is savvy enough to realize when someone has nothing remarkable to contribute to the cause."

"Ah, but the fact that he wasn't remarkable was precisely what caught Malfoy's attention, Kate. There were many egos at work within the Dark Lord's entourage and it made people difficult to manage. Malfoy knew this and thought that Peter was content to be a 'soldier' – as long as he was treated respectfully and not made to feel that people were obviously cleaning up after him," Snape replied.

"But he was wrong," Sirius interrupted, meeting Snape's eye. "Peter had an ego the size of a Quidditch pitch – probably still does, come to that. His new friends treated him well and didn't make him feel stupid or inferior. Malfoy brought him into the fold. Peter was content to pose as a loyal Ministry employee by day and Death Eater by night."

"And spending less and less time with his friends," Remus contributed, sadly watching Sirius' face change as his recollection of those times came back to him. Not happy memories at all, old friend, he thought. I'm sorry you're being forced to experience them yet again.

"When the Dark Lord heard of the Prophesy concerning young Potter, he became obsessed with locating the Potter family and eliminating the threat to his very existence," Snape continued. "Peter had his first tentative bout of 'cold feet' when the Dark Lord's ranting sessions began. I believe Pettigrew thought the Dark Lord – and his Death Eaters – were all about political power; that he would replace the Minister of Magic and, possibly, take Peter to all new heights once he had done so. I don't honestly believe Pettigrew ever thought he'd have blood on his hands. I think he expected that he'd participate in a bit of bullying, perhaps, but murder – never."

Sirius growled. "The feeling of the Dark Mark being burned into his flesh wasn't a broad enough hint for him?" No one answered, but Snape's face paled. It took him a moment to control his quick flash of anger and, once he had done so, his voice cut through the room once again.

"The Dark Lord knew of Pettigrew's connection to the Potters – advised of such, I'm sure, by the ever sycophantic Lucius. Pettigrew began to feel the discomfort that came with the Dark Lord's constant inquiry about the activities and movements of the Potter family. As you know, James was attacked once; James and Lily were involved in two additional skirmishes together – barely escaping serious injury or worse," Snape paused. "As you may have guessed by now, Pettigrew was responsible for setting them up for all of them."

Sirius now rose and began to pace the length of the room, arms folded across his chest. Kate looked at Remus in concern, but the werewolf shook his head and turned his attention back to the Potions Master.

"When the Fidelius charm was first mentioned, Pettigrew brought the news back to the Dark Lord as a bid to provide information no one else could supply. By then, I was fairly entrenched in the inner circle, as it was called, and the Dark Lord had grown frustrated with Pettigrew's ineptitude in delivering the Potters to him. Pettigrew suffered greatly at his hands once the Fidelius entered the picture. The Dark Lord was beside himself thinking that the charm would be cast before he had the chance to capture the Potters and destroy Harry." Snape paused and looked over at Sirius, who had come to a stop – finally – at the opposite end of the room. "One evening, Pettigrew delivered news that was beyond anything the Dark Lord could have hoped for: the Potters had made Pettigrew their Secret Keeper. Victory was at hand."

A muffled cry from the end of the room cut through the silence. Kate turned, but Sirius' back was to the room, his posture stiff, and his head down. She began to rise, but Remus reached over and put a hand on her arm. "Leave him," he whispered. "Do not call attention to his reaction in front of Snape. While Severus understands – better than Sirius would ever believe – Sirius would not handle the attention well."

Kate nodded and settled back in her chair. Severus continued.

"But then things went horribly wrong. The Potters were dead and Harry spirited away under cloak of darkness. The Dark Lord was so depleted, so nearly destroyed that he could not survive in any type of independent form and Pettigrew's paranoia that he was to be blamed for it all reached all new heights. As you are all aware, Pettigrew staged a convincing performance that convinced both Muggle and Wizard law enforcement that Black was a mad murderer. Pettigrew went to live in Animagus form with the Weasleys, and Black – well, we all know how the story ended there. Malfoy claimed to have been under the effects of the Imperious Curse and rejoined legitimate society – as did many of his fellows. Everyone assumed the Dark Lord was finished and scrambled to make the most of their lives. Now, in addition to eliminating a perceived competitor, Pettigrew undoubtedly sees this as an opportunity for redemption from that night long ago." Snape paused again, this time glancing at Albus before resuming his comments. "Albus and I both believe that Pettigrew approached the Dark Lord with an offer to eliminate Spear, explaining that the Auror possessed too much knowledge to be allowed to live. Further, Spear's death would eliminate his ability to testify against Malfoy before the Wizengamot."

"But Spear's testimony wasn't necessary to achieve Malfoy's conviction," Kate reasoned.

"True, but neither Malfoy nor the Dark Lord could have known that at the time," Snape replied. "Malfoy had previously supplied Acromantula venom to the Dark Lord for use in brewing certain potions. Do not ask me about Malfoy's source as I have never asked nor do I wish to know. I have long suspected that Lucius carries a variety of lethal substances in that cane of his. If I am correct, it would explain the source of the Acromantula venom used in Jarvis' potion."

"But is Jarvis an accomplished brewer?" Remus asked.

Snape shook his head. "No, but Narcissa Malfoy is extremely proficient in potions and often brews various items for her husband. She is the perfect choice as she cannot be compelled to testify against Lucius in any court."

"But Jarvis could do so, and I believe it's high time someone arrested him now that we know the contents of that vial," Kate spoke up, looking hard at Kingsley who was seated on the opposite side of the table.

"It would be interesting to see what he had to say," Albus agreed. "But he could not disclose any confidences about his client. He might be able to tell us that Narcissa brewed the potion, but neither he nor Narcissa could be forced to tie that venom back to Lucius."

"But if Malfoy and Jarvis could be shown to be complicit in a crime, the confidentiality requirement would be forfeit," Kate responded.

"But what would be gained from this?" Shacklebolt queried. "Let's play it out. If Malfoy and Jarvis were working together to poison Kate AND to give Pettigrew a means to kill Spear, we would imprison Jarvis. Malfoy's already in Azkaban, sentenced by Fudge. He's ineligible for parole; increasing his sentence gives us no benefit."

"Could Jarvis be Pettigrew's goal in engaging Malfoy in the Wizard's Debt?" Remus asked Snape. "Does Jarvis provide any type of benefit to him?"

Snape thought for a moment, head bowed. Suddenly, his head snapped up and he looked at Albus. "Jarvis' son has been living with his mother, Jarvis' former wife, in Bulgaria. He's been attending Durmstrang, but the mother is dying and the son is coming to live with his father. Malfoy mentioned that Jarvis might want to move the boy to Hogwarts rather than leaving him in Durmstrang with no family nearby. If Eduard Jarvis does, indeed, come to Hogwarts, he will have unfettered access to Harry. The Dark Lord is unaware of this, but Pettigrew knows because he was present when Lucius spoke with me, asking if I could assist in the transfer process. I told him it was not a matter I would ordinarily handle and, therefore, my involvement would be suspect. Malfoy dropped it; perhaps Pettigrew found the information useful."

Albus frowned. "If this is, indeed, true, and Pettigrew is planning to use young Jarvis to compromise Harry, we must consider all options before agreeing to any such transfer."

Sirius swiftly approached the table, galvanized by the revelations Snape had shared. "There is nothing to consider, Albus," he said firmly. "Harry's safety is paramount and we cannot permit anything to endanger him whilst he is at school. I would suggest that we arrest Jarvis, based on the evidence we have in hand. That should effectively end the senior Jarvis' ability to gain custody of the boy, as there would be no one here to act as his guardian. There is nothing the Order can gain from a 15-year-old boy whose father is incarcerated in Azkaban. I cannot permit Harry to be used as some sort of pawn to see what we can learn about Pettigrew's plan to become the most important Death Eater in Voldemort's circle. The risk is far too great."

Snape took a breath. "As much as it pains me to do so, Albus, I must agree with Black on this. We have nothing to be gained by transferring Jarvis' son here – and everything to lose. In reality, we have no proof that this is what Pettigrew intends. This is merely conjecture on our part."

Albus nodded. "It's true that we do not know for certain that using this child is what Pettigrew has in mind. If it is, denying him this opportunity may force him to consider alternative plans – ideally plans that require him to show himself – even to a limited audience. We may be able to clear your name without capturing him, Sirius, but it would require witnesses to Pettigrew's appearance – preferably those associated with the Ministry – to make our case truly strong. Obviously, luring Pettigrew out into the open would be preferable. Sirius, I agree that it is unnecessary to expose Harry to further danger." Sirius nodded and took his seat once again.

Albus turned again to the Potions Master. "Severus, once I deny the Jarvis boy's application, I will ask that you be alert to any reaction Pettigrew may have. If we were wrong, I would think you would see nothing. If, however, we have thwarted his plan, he should react rather strongly – and, I suspect, swiftly. He may petition you to intercede on his behalf. I will, of course, need to be aware of such a request. We will undoubtedly need to reconvene to determine our next step."

"Of course," Severus said.

That matter concluded, the meeting moved to updating surveillance rotations for the Totland "safe house", Malfoy Manor and, of course, the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry. When the schedules were finalized, Dumbledore called for attention once more.

"Harry, Ron and Hermione have organized a group of students to study practical Defense tactics – separate from Professor Umbridge's classes," he announced, the ghost of a smile playing around his mouth. Looking toward Remus, he added, "It seems that young Mr. Potter is the professor. He had a very solid role model for that position, I believe." Remus blushed at the praise and Tonks reached over and placed her hand over his.

"Is this wise, given the climate at the school?" Kate asked, concern evident in her voice and face.

Albus, too, sobered. "No, it is not. Harry does not know that anyone outside his circle of students is aware of this activity, however. Mr. Filch has seen the students lingering about the area where classes are held, but he has not, as yet, been able to access the actual room. Umbridge has him on guard duty, however, and I suspect that it is only a matter of time before her tolerance reaches its end and she escalates her investigation."

"I assume they are using the Room of Requirement," Remus interjected.

Albus nodded. "Indeed they are. As you know, while the Room of Requirement is difficult to access, it is not impermeable. If Umbridge discovers it, she could access it through somewhat unconventional methods. Once Harry's activities are uncovered, Umbridge will have the excuse she needs to oust me from the Headmaster's office and take over the position, herself. She has sought just such an opportunity almost from the beginning of her assignment at Hogwarts."

"If what you've described should occur, what would happen to …" Kate was interrupted as the Headmaster smiled kindly at her and continued.

"I've made provisions, I assure you, my dear. But, I may not be able to move about as freely as I can at the moment. Should I be required to … relocate myself for a bit, let's say, the Order would require an interim leader to ensure our activities keep moving forward on schedule. Is there any objection to Remus filling that role?" Albus' eyes swept over those assembled. When no one objected, he smiled. "Excellent! Remus, if I need to absent myself, the Order will be in your capable hands. "

"Excellent," Dumbledore said again. "That's settled, then. And now, unless anyone has anything else to discuss, I more to adjourn; I do not wish to be away from the school longer than absolutely necessary."

There was no comment and the group began to rise, gather their things and slowly make their way upstairs to the front door. As Remus closed the door behind the last Order member, he turned to Kate and Sirius and bade them a good night. "I've a good book and a pot of tea waiting for me," he said with a smile as he climbed the staircase to his room.

Kate followed Sirius into the parlor and watched as he walked over to the hearth and magically lit the fire.

"What's wrong?" Kate asked quietly when Sirius did not move from his spot. He remained silent, staring into the flames. "Sirius, please."

At that, he turned. "Do you remember when I asked you to promise me that if the time came that Harry needed me to fight with him; to protect him in battle, that you would stand by me in my decision to do so?"

Kate walked over to him, shaking her head. "No; I do remember a conversation in which I reluctantly said that I wouldn't stand in your way if you found a way to help Harry that didn't endanger yourself or him. Joining a public battle to fight shoulder to shoulder with our Godson doesn't sound like it meets that criteria, Sirius," she reasoned.

Sirius exhaled sharply. "I know, Kate. But when we had that conversation, that bastard rat hadn't shown his ugly head. I've already got James' and Lily's deaths on my conscience; I don't want their son's as well – particularly at the hand of the same wizard!" He paused and looked over at Kate.

"You know that I love you, " he said quietly. "and that I would do everything in my power never to hurt you again. You know this." At her nod, he continued. "I love Harry, as well. You know that, too. I do not want him hurt, but it's more than that, Katie. I'm his Godfather and, by virtue of that role, I am bound to protect him; bound to keep him safe. Things are heating up out there – and that means that Harry may be called upon to fight much sooner than any of us imagined. He is so young, Kate. He hasn't even really lived yet. He deserves the chance to be happy. If I can help him realize that chance, I have to do it, even if…"

"Even if you have to sacrifice yourself in the bargain," Kate finished. "I thought we were beyond this. I thought you finally understood. Nothing will distract Harry more quickly than losing you! Nothing! He will be reactive rather than proactive. He will seek revenge for you rather than focus on the main objective. If you pursue this idea of risking yourself – and something happens to you, there's a very good chance that you'll take Harry down with you. You know as well as I do that he will lose his focus – a moment will be all Voldemort needs – and Harry will be gone. And you will be able to add the burden of Harry's injury or death to your collection of self-inflicted offenses. And, of course, less importantly, you can add Remus – and me to the pile, as well. You think you're so expendable, do you? Well, you're not. Sirius, rest assured that I will do everything I can to make sure that you cannot do this. Come up with a way to protect Harry without this unnecessary risk and I will support you. Otherwise, you will be fighting me, as well as any number of Death Eaters!" Kate stopped, breathing heavily, watching Sirius' expression change from stubborn to surprise as he digested her words. "Think about this very carefully, Sirius. Lives truly do depend upon what you decide, so you'd best decide wisely. I'm going to bed. I've had enough for one evening. Good night."


	66. The Solution of Mysteries

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Kate paused outside Remus' room, noting the thin strip of light creeping into the hallway from beneath the door. She hesitated for a moment then knocked softly on the old wood.

"Come in," Remus' voice called.

Kate stuck her head 'round the door. "Busy?"

Remus greeted her warmly from his chair near the window. "Never too busy to visit with you," he said, pointing at the window seat. "Come inside and I'll share my tea."

Kate closed the door behind her. She settled herself on the cushion and gratefully accepted a cup of tea. "Thanks."

"Will Sirius be joining us?"

Kate smiled ruefully. "I just left him in the parlor. There's every possibility he'll come up to talk later on, but…"

"…but you beat him to it," Remus returned the smile.

"Mmm, and I think that when he finally does make his way up here, Sirius will want your undivided attention," Kate sipped her tea for a few moments and Remus settled back in his chair and waited for her to collect her thoughts.

"He's determined to protect Harry on his own terms, you know," Kate finally stated, her voice quiet.

Remus sighed and shook his head. "I surmised as much. Merlin, how many times have you and I had a conversation that began with that sentence? Kate, I don't know that we'll ever win that argument with Sirius. I used to think that he might abandon the idea, that he might listen to reason, but he always comes back to his guilt over James and Lily, his anger at himself for having convinced them to use Peter instead of him as their Secret Keeper. There have been times when Peter has been somewhat of an abstract figure to Sirius and he's been more reasonable in his thought process. Even after that night in the Shrieking Shack, when he saw Peter again after so long, Sirius was able to maintain a bit of perspective. Now, though, every time Peter appears: the Tri-Wizard Tournament last year and now this business with Spear's murder, it reminds Sirius all over again that the man who betrayed James and Lily now poses a very real threat to their son. It's as if each appearance chips away another piece of his rational thought."

Kate had listened attentively to her friend as he'd spoken. When Remus finished, she told him about the things she'd said to Sirius a short time before. "Remus, I don't think Sirius is going to back down this time. I actually think he'll force me to fight him. After all we've been through these past months, despite the fact that we've finally laid all the old ghosts to rest, I think we're going to face one more hurdle – and it's a big one."

"As much as I hate to say it, Kate, I'm inclined to agree with you," Remus said, sadly. "If there is a confrontation and Harry's involved, Sirius will not sit idly by – whether it's here or the Annex. He will move heaven and earth to get to him. He won't allow what happened to James to happen to Harry."

Kate looked away from Remus, feeling her heart clench in her chest. "I know that, Remus. And he doesn't care if he has to sacrifice himself in the bargain. You know, sometimes I think that Sirius almost feels as if the only way he can atone for his mistake with Peter is to put himself in the line of fire and protect Harry at the cost of his own life." She looked back at her old friend, her face sad.

"Like a penance," Remus whispered. "One life for the two he thinks he risked."

"But he doesn't think about what his grand gesture will cost the rest of us," Kate said quietly. "We've both lost him once and Merlin knows I've been on the brink of losing him several times since I came back to London." Kate stopped suddenly and brought her escalating emotions under control. "I can't do this any longer, Remus. I just can't. With Malfoy convicted, you'd think we'd have less to worry about, but it's just the opposite, isn't it? Spear goes missing and then turns up murdered in his cell. Pettigrew appears to have been involved, but no one seems to be able to riddle out the extent of his participation – or a firm motive, although we've no shortage of theories. The poison used to kill Spear contains venom from the same Acromantula that contributed to the potion Jarvis tried to force-feed me during Malfoy's trial. While I resent Sirius' complicating all of that with his single-minded war chant of joining Harry in battle, I can't sit and dwell on it with so many other pieces of the puzzle out of place."

Remus leaned toward her. "You've made the decision to stop him in any way you can. You've got to shelve it for now and focus on the rest of it; we all do. We've no choice."

Kate rose and Remus did the same. "If you do have your wayward visitor later on, see what you can do to get his one-track mind refocused on the bigger picture, won't you?" Kate stepped forward and hugged her friend tightly, feeling him nod as his chin rested against her head for a moment. "Perhaps you'll succeed where I've failed. Meanwhile, I'd better get back to the Annex. Dumbledore has been adamant about my allowable forays out of bounds and I want some time to sit and think about this whole business."

"I think I'll read for awhile longer and see if any stray pups wander by," Remus said, a wry smile on his face.

Kate approached Remus' fireplace. She dipped her fingers into the pot of Floo powder on the mantel. "May I?"

He nodded and a moment later, Kate had stepped into the hearth and disappeared in a swirl of green flame. When she'd gone and the flames had gone back to normal, Remus walked back to his chair and sat down, taking up his book again and resting it in his lap. Although he had every good intention of resuming his novel, Remus found himself lost in thought – so much so that the hearth had long gone cold before he placed the forgotten book on the table and made his way to bed.

XXXXXXXX

Kate walked out of the fireplace and into the silent chill of the Annex' Great Room. With Molly in London and both she and Sirius at Grimmauld Place, the hidden wing was empty. Kate quickly had a blazing fire crackling in the hearth and with the chill quickly fading from the room, she decided to make herself comfortable on the sofa. Somehow, she wasn't ready to slip into the bed she had so recently shared with Sirius. She had too much thinking to do.

After showering and changing into warm Muggle flannel pajamas, Kate made her way to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine; she'd had more than enough tea for one night. Kate walked back to the sofa and, settling herself across the deep cushions, pulled down the knitted afghan from the backrest and arranged it over her legs. As she sipped her wine, Kate reflected on the meeting and the various conversations she'd had. Snippets of discussions whirled through her mind, and Kate fought to exclude those that focused on Sirius' single-minded intent to follow Harry into battle to protect the boy and avenge the past. She turned over the details of Spear's murder, Pettigrew's involvement and Jarvis' role in events but found herself no closer to any type of hypothesis than she'd been before. Malfoy's face kept floating in and out of her thoughts, but she couldn't grasp onto anything tangible. She gave up, reasoning that a good night's sleep would give her a greater capacity for thought in the morning.

Kate put the now empty wine glass on the side table and rested her head against the back of the sofa. Soon, the warmth of the fire and the effects of the wine combined to render her quite drowsy and she had just given in to a light sleep when a whoosh from the direction of the hearth brought her fully awake. Kate sat bolt upright on the sofa, her wand sliding down her sleeve and into her hand - only to see Sirius standing before her.

"Hey," he greeted her, placing a small kiss on her cheek. "You left without telling me," he said, seating himself on the edge of the heavy coffee table in front of her. "I went looking for you and Remus told me you'd come back here."

Kate placed her wand on the table beside her and nodded. "You know that I'm supposed to stay here. I guess I just wanted a quiet place to think." Kate picked up the afghan from the floor where it had fallen and draped it over her lap. Sirius watched her, his expression at once sad and determined.

"I would have come with you," he said quietly. "I don't like it when you're alone."

Kate shot Sirius a look that made him question the wisdom of his last sentence. She followed up with a comment that made him wish dearly that he could take it back. "Unless you've reconsidered your plan to follow Harry into very public battle, you'll forgive me when I say I find that statement hard to believe."

"You're asking me to stand by and do nothing at a time when Harry will need me the most," Sirius replied. "That's not fair."

"Sirius, in that moment, when Harry faces such a confrontation, he will not be alone; there will be others with him – members of the Order – who will protect him and help him in the fight. That's not what he needs from you; he needs you to be safe. He needs you to be there for him for the rest of his life – not just the time it takes to finish the fight." Kate paused. She knew she was just repeating herself, which was a foolish undertaking since it was obvious Sirius had paid no attention to the words she'd flung at him earlier in the evening. Once more, she thought to herself. I'll give it one more try and then I'll do what I promised Remus earlier. "Sirius, I'm only going to say this one more time and then I'm finished. You're choosing to do a very foolish thing – and it has more to do with James than it has to do with his son. You're trying to atone for your perceived sin in allowing Peter to serve as Secret Keeper. If you die, you compensate for your past indiscretion, isn't that it?" Sirius didn't speak, but continued to regard her silently. "You do understand that you will burden Harry with the same guilt you've been carrying around all these years, don't you? You've walked around with James and Lily's deaths hanging around your neck; he can spend the rest of his life weighed down by the guilt of yours!"

Sirius sprung to his feet. "Your confidence in me is heartwarming, Kate. Have you forgotten how proficient a duelist I was as an Auror? Are you so certain I'd die?"

Kate mirrored his actions, standing to face him. "I have not forgotten your dueling skills, Sirius, but a great deal of time has passed since those days. Dueling back then was a dispassionate business. You faced off against the enemy and fought until one of you couldn't stand any longer. This will not be the same. You cannot maintain single-minded focus on the objective at hand – winning the individual fight. You will constantly be wondering about Harry: where he is, how he is and how quickly you can get to him. Distractions can be dangerous, Sirius. More than, actually. Distractions can be fatal."

Sirius stared at Kate a moment longer, breathing heavily, his eyes flashing. Kate said nothing further and the silence in the room was broken only by the pop of the logs as they burned.

"Enough," Sirius finally said. "This is bollocks. There's no point in arguing over this. Kate, I've given in more in the past year than I'd ever thought possible. I've hidden where and when I've been told to hide; I've backed down to Severus, to Dumbledore and to Remus, on occasion. We talked about this eventuality, you and me. I knew you wouldn't be supportive of my decision to fight – really fight – with Harry; that's one of the reasons I asked you about it weeks ago. I was satisfied with what you said about not standing in my way – no matter what restrictions you might have placed on that statement. But don't ask me to back down to you entirely, Katie. As much as I love you and as strong as we've become, I cannot do that and be loyal to who I am. I cannot do that and be the man I know I am. Don't ask it of me. I haven't come this far to back down to anyone anymore."

We didn't come this far so I could lose you to poor judgment and misplaced guilt, either. The thought chased the anger from Kate's mind and she dropped heavily onto the sofa again

When Kate didn't respond to him, Sirius added, "Come on, Katie-girl; we've probably got plenty of time before anything happens, anyway." But his voice lacked the certainty that would have told her he believed that statement. "Do we really want to spend that time at odds with each other? Haven't we done enough of that? We'll just deal with it when the moment arises."

Kate's head lifted at that and she looked directly into his eyes. Finally, she nodded. "Alright, Sirius; we'll drop it for now. You're right about one thing: I don't want us to be on the outs with each other. And we do have other things to focus on at the moment."

Sirius smiled tentatively. He wasn't foolish enough to think that he'd won the war, but her agreement to a truce was enough to be going on with – however temporary it might be. And, she was right; they did have other things to ponder. And, while resolution to the questions before them about Spear, Malfoy and, of course, Pettigrew, would ultimately lead them to a place where decisions would need to be made, Sirius was relieved to put their conflict to one side for the moment.

He reached across the distance between them and picked up her wine glass. "White?" he asked, rising. At her nod, he walked into the kitchen, returning a few moments later with two glasses. "Here," Sirius said quietly. "Mind if I join you?"

"No, I don't mind," Kate said, patting the seat cushion next to her. "I've been thinking about your theory, actually."

Sirius sipped his wine. "What theory is that?"

"The one where Pettigrew initiated the whole Spear murder to ingratiate himself with Voldemort by returning Malfoy to his place in the inner circle," Kate replied, turning to face him. "I don't think I agree with it."

"Gaps in my logic, are there?" Sirius asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Only I might remind you that there were others present who didn't seem to think so."

Kate waved her hand in the air dismissively. "Well, I can't help that," she said. "Now, let's review. One: Malfoy has never done anything to inspire Pettigrew's loyalty; fear, yes; loyalty, no. To my way of thinking, this would seem to preclude Pettigrew making a trip to Azkaban to see how he might help him. Two: Malfoy was the one who convinced Pettigrew to take the Dark Mark all those years ago. Clearly, Pettigrew's life has not been one of power or any type of inner circle-access. He may easily feel that he traded one life of inferiority and subservience for another. Three: You can't convince me that Malfoy has anything that Pettigrew would want – at least badly enough to put himself at risk for. Lastly, I can easily see Peter being completely insecure about Spear, but not brave enough to confront Voldemort about getting rid of him."

"You're suggesting that Pettigrew has regrets about taking the Mark?"

"Perhaps. Is it so hard to believe?" Kate asked softly. "Look, I have no more regard for Pettigrew than you have, but think about it; he trailed James, Remus and you around for the better part of seven years. He never gained any prominence, he was never a leader; he was always the follower. I can't imagine that he'd have gained the fortitude to be anything else at this juncture, can you?"

Sirius swirled his wine around the glass for a few moments. "So, if Pettigrew didn't approach Malfoy with a plan to eliminate Spear and potentially take you out of the way, it would mean that someone approached Pettigrew."

"It does seem to be the only possibility," Kate acknowledged. "Now, if Malfoy was in prison, it seems unlikely that he would have the means to contact Pettigrew, but…"

"As his solicitor, Jarvis would certainly have access to Malfoy and could, conceivably, carry messages to Pettigrew," Sirius finished her thought, his eyes growing wider as his mind continued to play out the scenario. "And, of course, Jarvis could certainly meet with Narcissa Malfoy without arousing suspicion. If what we discussed earlier is true, she could have supplied Jarvis with the Acromantula venom in both its raw form and as part of the potion he attempted to give you."

Kate nodded, catching onto his enthusiasm. "Now, we'd need to discuss motive. I'm not buying into Jarvis' son's transfer to Hogwarts as a credible possibility. Do you?"

"Access to Harry notwithstanding, I would have to agree with you, Kate. I do think, however that we can't discount Harry as at least some part of the rationale."

"Maybe. For now, let's look at Jarvis. Let's say that he's confident he can slip me the altered Veritaserum during the trial. He meets with Malfoy to discuss his plan. Believing that he can take me out of the equation, Jarvis convinces Malfoy that the only remaining obstacle to his freedom is Spear," Kate stopped speaking and closed her eyes for a moment. This was leading down a path she hadn't really anticipated; but it was the only one that made any sense. As Sirius' soft voice cut into her thoughts a second later, Kate opened her eyes and met his gaze; he had figured it out.

Smiling, Sirius continued. "If Spear can be neutralized, he cannot testify against Malfoy; but the window of opportunity to get rid of him is very narrow. Jarvis must somehow convince the Ministry – probably Fudge – to allow Malfoy to be brought to the Ministry holding cells well in advance of the hearing…"

Kate nodded and interrupted, "probably in the dead of night, claiming possible security issues."

"Fudge would certainly take that to heart, given what's happened in the Department of Mysteries over the past six months," Sirius said, a sly smile on his face. "So, Azkaban guards deliver Malfoy the night before trial, whilst Spear is left in his cell. Alone."

Kate took over again. "And there's no way to tie Malfoy to any unfortunate incident that might befall Spear, because he's no longer on the island, is he? So, now we have a plan to put Malfoy in Ministry holding whilst Spear is left behind. But Jarvis had to devise a means by which the deed could be done. Peter becomes the best candidate for the job, given that he's an Animagus and if Malfoy didn't tell Jarvis about that gift, who else would?"

"And his Animagus form is perfect for the task; there is certainly no shortage of rats in that hell hole," Sirius interjected bitterly.

Kate reached over and took his hand before continuing. "Jarvis convinces Malfoy that Pettigrew is the ideal candidate for the job. He can stow away on the transport ferry when it left to retrieve Spear to testify and sneak onto the island when it docks. Just a short scamper over the rocks to the prison and he would be able to gain access virtually undetected, isn't that right?"

Sirius nodded, grimly. "And if Jarvis had given him the exact location of Spear's cell – as provided by Malfoy – it would have been simple enough to slip through the gap at the bottom of the door, transform, cast Petrificus Totalis and inject Spear with the fatal dose."'

"Then, when he was sure Spear was dealt with, he could transform back into Wormtail and retrace his steps to the dock. The ferry would be held, of course, once Spear was found. Pettigrew, as Wormtail, would then climb aboard and make the return trip to London," Kate finished.

"Now, to puzzle out who benefits in this little game of deduction we're playing," Sirius said. "Malfoy would be given to think that he would benefit because both Spear and you would be unable to testify. The plan would have been laid before the hearing began that day, so Malfoy wouldn't have realized that he'd gained nothing until Spear was dead and Jarvis thwarted."

"But, Malfoy would have been indebted to Jarvis," Kate said, squeezing Sirius' hand. "Sirius, that's it," she exclaimed. "It wasn't Malfoy who was indebted to Peter; he was indebted to Jarvis"

Sirius looked at her intensely. "But potentially, it isn't just Malfoy who is indebted to Jarvis. Listen, how do you imagine Jarvis managed to get Pettigrew to murder Spear? I'll wager my last Galleon that Jarvis capitalized on Pettigrew's insecurities and thirst for position and power by dropping comments about Spear and how he could potentially usurp Pettigrew's position with Voldemort. He could have easily convinced Pettigrew that Malfoy spoke with him about Spear's value to the Dark Lord, particularly after he facilitated the break out of some of Voldemort's favorite Death Eaters. Imagine this: poor little Peter, filled with angst because he doesn't think he's one of the favorites any longer. Then, like a gift from Merlin, along comes Jarvis with a way to eliminate Spear – and puts the bloody tool in his fuckin' paw, doesn't he? Cor, Pettigrew must have been gagging with joy."

"So, our theory is that Jarvis concocted the entire plan, told Malfoy it would ensure his acquittal and Pettigrew his position. He's in league with Malfoy to get Narcissa to give him the venom – and the venomous potion and then convinces Pettigrew to use the pure venom to murder Spear. Malfoy and Pettigrew both owe a Wizard's Debt to Jarvis," Kate's brows drew together. "But to what purpose? What could Jarvis possibly want from either – or both – of them?"

"I've no idea," Sirius admitted. He glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece. "But it's well past 1 o'clock, Katie-girl. We can't pull anyone else into this tonight. I think a good night's sleep is in order; we can Floo call Remus in the morning and have him come for breakfast. I know I'll look forward to advising him that he owns a piece of the wrong theory; I would think he'd enjoy the chance to redeem himself."

"Careful, there, Padfoot," Kate admonished him, rising. "We don't know if our theory is any better. I'm not particularly fond of crow as a main course."

"When tomorrow morning rolls around, the only one who'll be picking his teeth with feathers is our dear friend, Mooney," Sirius replied, chuckling. "Cor, I miss Molly; we're going to have to fend for ourselves at breakfast, I'm afraid."

"You're afraid?" Kate said, gathering both wine glasses and walking toward the kitchen. "I think Remus and I are the ones who should be a bit nervous. After all, I haven't forgotten your last foray into scrambled eggs. A bit of a challenge, wasn't it?"

Sirius was standing where she'd left him, hands on hips, when Kate emerged from rinsing the glasses a moment later. "Not very sporting of you, love. Particularly when you ate the second batch without complaint."

Kate chuckled at his appearance. "You look positively forbidding, Mr. Black. I may just have to go to my own room for the remainder of the night."

Sirius crossed the room in two strides and gathered her hands in his. "Don't say that, Katie," he said quietly, his eyes searching her face. "I spent quite a bit of time this evening wondering if you just might decide to do just that. I know I made you angry enough for you to choose to sleep alone." He paused. "I'm sorry to have done that."

Kate squeezed his hands. "You know that I was teasing you. I don't want to sleep alone; I want to be with you. I love you. You never have to question that."

Sirius pulled her into his arms and he held her tightly. "I love you, too, Katie; I love you very much. Come," he released her, but caught her hand in his as he led her to the closed door of his room. "Let's get some sleep. We can mull it all over with Remus in the morning, yeah?"

Kate nodded. "Let's do. I'm tired. Perhaps it will all come clear in the morning."


	67. The Danger in Mysteries

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Kate was surprised to find that she had, indeed, slept well and awoke feeling ready to pick up where they'd left off in their sleuthing the night before. After showering and dressing in Muggle jeans and a sweater, Kate joined Sirius in the kitchen where he was putting the finishing touches on omelets.

Kissing her soundly, Sirius escorted her to her chair and poured her a cup of steaming coffee. "I've already Floo'd Mooney," he informed her. "He'll be along presently – despite the knowledge that I am in charge of breakfast this morning."

Kate chuckled. "Brave man that Remus."

Sirius sat down with his own mug. "He is that."

"One must be brave to be your friend, Pads," Remus entered the kitchen, stooping to drop a kiss on the top of Kate's head and squeezing Sirius' shoulder as he made his way to the remaining empty chair.

"Hmm. Hungry?" Sirius asked, smiling at his old friend.

"Starved," came the reply. "I was promised breakfast and a mystery, you'll recall."

"As opposed to breakfast that actually is a mystery, I'm presuming," Kate chuckled into her mug.

"Oi, that'll be enough out of you or you'll be wearing your breakfast," Sirius grumbled as he put the plates on the table, but his smile belied his words.

After a bit more good natured ribbing, the three friends tucked into their food taking less than thirty minutes to finish the meal. The lure of the promised conversation was too great to allow them to linger.

As they sat enjoying their third cup of coffee, Kate and Sirius shared their theory with Remus. After asking several pointed questions, Remus finally put his mug down on the table and gave them a slow smile. "It's brilliant," he said as Kate and Sirius shared a congratulatory smile between them. "But we do need to figure out one more thing before we try to prove this theory," Remus commented.

"How did Jarvis benefit?" Sirius queried.

"How did Jarvis benefit," Remus confirmed. "Alright, let's consider what we know about Jarvis. He's divorced with a school-aged, magical child who lives with the ex-wife in Bulgaria, yes?"

Kate nodded. "But she's gravely ill and the child will be coming to live here, with Jarvis and would like to attend Hogwarts. Now, last night, we all seriously considered young Eduard to be the key to Peter's plan to redeem Jarvis' Wizard debt. We've turned that theory around now and Jarvis does not owe Peter a Wizard debt; it is the other way 'round."

"Rather begs us to reconsider blocking the boy's entry to Hogwarts, doesn't it?" Remus asked, rhetorically.

Sirius frowned, unwilling to consider even remotely exposing Harry to further danger. "Let's not cross that line just yet, Mooney. Don't forget, we haven't exactly puzzled out what Jarvis could want from Malfoy or Peter – or why. His son could still be in the picture, after all."

"Point taken, Pads," Remus replied. "So, for the moment, let's look away from the son as the catalyst in this. What else do we really know about Llewellyn Jarvis?"

"Severus might be able to tell us more than we already know," Kate began, but Sirius' snort interrupted her.

"Severus," he said disdainfully. "He was convinced that Voldemort was using Pettigrew as a 'hit wizard' to rid himself of Spear."

"There was no lack of buy-in to that particular theory," Kate admonished him and Sirius had the good grace to blush and look away. "I think that last night's meeting discussion was an exercise in brainstorming and just about everyone who participated dropped a theory on the table."

"You know, perhaps Severus isn't the most logical resource for information on Jarvis," Remus interjected. "But Kingsley just might fit the bill. If we had a bit of data on Jarvis' background and affiliations, it could help us to confirm our theory and, quite possibly, provide some clues as to his motivation."

"Perhaps I could Floo Kingsley now so he could get started," Kate rose from her chair and excused herself, heading to the Great Room fireplace to speak with Kingsley.

"Padfoot," Remus spoke quietly, glancing over his shoulder to make certain Kate was out of earshot. Satisfied that she was, in fact, occupied in conversation with Kingsley, he continued, "I'm truly concerned about Kreacher. I'm certain he's spending time outside Grimmauld Place."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "And this is a bad thing because…"

Remus never cracked a smile. "…Because we've no idea what he's doing or whom he's seeing. Or why."

"Kreacher serves the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black, Remus. He can't disclose our secrets to anyone; and, as the house is under the Fidelius Charm, he can't even tell anyone where we are. I can't see how he poses much of a threat to the Order," Sirius reasoned. "Besides, there is any number of hidey-holes that little toe rag could be disappearing to. Besides, he's probably spending time doing unspeakable things to the belongings he's squirreled away. If he is leaving the house, Remus, you know very well that he can't stay away – more's the pity; he has to return. Really, don't you think we've more significant things to worry about?"

Remus could easily see that there was no point in pursuing this line of conversation with his friend, as the other man was adamant that Kreacher posed no threat to them. Remus, however, remained unconvinced; he resolved to remain more vigilant in his observations of the surly house elf while staying at Grimmauld Place. With a resigned nod, he dropped the subject.

"Kingsley will get back to us as soon as he knows anything," Kate had returned to the kitchen and accepted a fresh cup of coffee from Sirius. "He believes he has some contacts that can make discreet inquiries on our behalf." Kate picked up on Remus' closed expression. "What's going on, Remus? You've gotten very stern since I left the room."

Sirius smiled and reached for Kate's hand. "Old Mooney here thinks that our least favorite house elf, Kreacher, is conspiring against us."

"Ah," Kate responded, entwining her fingers with his. "And what has led you to this rather disturbing conclusion, Mr. Mooney?"

Remus frowned. "His periodic disappearances from Headquarters seem to point to it."

Kate's face lost some of its amusement. "Have you been able to establish any type of pattern to these disappearances? You know, he's not bound to the house, per se; he's bound to the family. In reality, he…"

"No don't you start," Sirius said, his voice betraying his irritation. "I can assure you that Kreacher doesn't have the brain cells to concoct any type of diabolical plan against me or the Order at large. If he did pose any credible threat, he would probably have murdered us all in our beds long before now. As we're still here, I would suggest that we leave this topic before we all see breakfast again. As I went to quite a bit of trouble to cook for us, I would certainly hate to have that happen. Agreed?"

Kate and Remus exchanged a brief look but dropped the subject; neither wished to provoke Sirius' temper further.

"Much as I hate to eat and run, as they say, I've guard duty in an hour. I believe I'll excuse myself and prepare," Remus said, leaning down to kiss Kate's cheek then turned to Sirius. "Thanks for breakfast, Padfoot. You did yourself proud." Sirius snorted and hugged his friend warmly.

As the trio walked through the Great Room to the fireplace, Kate suggested that Remus check in with them again after his Order assignment was finished for the day.

"I'll stop by on my way back to Headquarters," he promised. "I'll confess that I'm quite anxious to hear what Kingsley uncovers."

XXXXXXXX

As it happened, Kingsley arrived at the Annex scant moments before Remus once again stepped through the hearth; if Kingsley hadn't already been moving to the side, the werewolf would most certainly have sent him face first to the floor.

"'Evening, Remus," the Auror greeted him cordially. "How was your surveillance shift?"

"Uneventful," the other wizard replied. "Thank Merlin!"

As the men moved toward the kitchen of the Annex, where Kate had indicated earlier they would meet, they were somewhat surprised to see Severus and Albus both awaiting them. The atmosphere was tense, a fact confirmed by Sirius' upright and somewhat twitchy presence by the stove.

After greetings had been exchanged, everyone took a seat around the large table – save Sirius, who remained where he was.

"I have the distinct impression that our agenda for this evening has expanded since I last spoke with Kate," Remus ventured, receiving a tense nod from Sirius, on whom his gaze had fallen. The dark-haired wizard lifted his chin in Albus' direction and Remus refocused his attention on Dumbledore.

"Before I yield the floor to Kingsley, I need to discuss a matter of some importance. After considerable effort on her part, Dolores Umbridge has discovered Harry's Defense training. Earlier this evening, she and a band of students who've aligned themselves with her, made a rather impressive entrance into the Room of Requirement. I'm afraid that young Mr. Potter's formal training classes are at an end - as is, temporarily, my tenure as Hogwarts' Headmaster."

Although Dumbledore had alluded to the possibility that he might be removed from his post, those present still uttered small gasps of surprise. Dumbledore was synonymous with Hogwarts and had been for so many years that the thought of another holding the title of 'Headmaster' was almost inconceivable. Equally inconceivable was his next statement.

"Effective immediately, Dolores Umbridge will step in as acting Headmistress of the school."

"Temporarily?" Remus queried, his face pale.

Dumbledore looked at the werewolf, his expression kind. "Yes, son. I very much assure you that this situation is, indeed, temporary," he responded softly then turned to the rest of those assembled. "Now, I can see the questions on each of your faces, so let me explain a bit further. I am, at the moment, something of a fugitive and, as our own Mr. Black can attest, this can be rather limiting when we would much rather move about freely. I have accommodations that will allow me to keep current on activities here at the school and I will remain in communication with several of you. I will not, however, be as present as has been my custom." This last was said as Dumbledore glanced first at Remus and then Severus. Both wizards nodded in response. "As alluded to a short while ago, I am turning over interim Order leadership to Remus. Severus will remain my primary contact within the school." Dumbledore paused. "Does anyone have questions?"

Sirius cleared his throat. "How did Umbridge find out about Harry's training sessions?"

"It would appear that Professor Umbridge has been recruiting various spies amongst the students to follow Harry and the others in hopes of finding out what they were up to. Apparently, her stalking attempts yielded no success so she implemented mass interrogations of all students with any known affiliation to Harry, Ron or Hermione. Under her rather disreputable methods, one of the children disclosed all, making discovery rather inevitable," Dumbledore explained.

"And the consequences to the students?" Sirius asked, voice and posture tense.

"Detention with Professor Umbridge. En masse. Lines, I believe," the former Headmaster commented, his face strangely pale.

"Things are escalating quickly," Kate breathed. "I never thought for a moment that you would have to leave the school."

The old wizard leaned over and squeezed her hand warmly. "I never doubted it for a moment, my dear. Dolores Umbridge had her cap set for my position from the first moment she sat down at the High Table for the Sorting ceremony. It was truly only a matter of time."

"Harry is more vulnerable without you at school," Sirius added, his expression dark.

"Severus will monitor his safety at my request," Dumbledore's tone was bland, but his eyes, trained on Sirius' own, were anything but. Sirius' mouth snapped closed and he retreated back to lean against the stove once again. His face showed his displeasure, however he managed to hold his tongue.

"Now, if there's nothing else, I believe Kingsley has some interesting information about Mr. Jarvis that he would like to share with us." That said, Albus seated himself and yielded the floor to the senior Auror.

Kingsley leaned forward in his chair, clasping his large hands in front of him on the table. "Well, folks, our Mr. Jarvis has some very interesting skeletons in his closet." He paused, looking over in the direction of the stove. "Sirius, would you please come over here and sit down with us? You're making me nervous and, given the fact that I've recently been in the same room with both Fudge and Umbridge, that's saying something!"

While the others chuckled appreciatively at his words, Sirius hesitated only a moment before walking purposefully to a vacant chair between Remus and Kate. When he had settled himself, he looked at Kingsley and raised one eyebrow. "Better?" he asked pointedly.

Kingsley smiled and inclined his head. "Now that we're all here, the first thing you should know about our oily little friend is that he's definitely not the person he claims to be. I was able to take a magical image of his thumb and index fingerprints from the vial Severus confiscated from him at Malfoy's hearing. I am fortunate to have one or two … well, contacts is as good a definition as any, I suppose. They sometimes operate a bit on the fringes as it were, but they are invaluable when stealth, speed and absolute secrecy are required. They did not disappoint."

"Kingsley, for the love of Merlin, man: get on with it!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Turns out, Jarvis was born Viacheslav Jarvik Karkaroff," Kingsley told them and was greeted by wide-eyed stares from all but Severus.

"Related to an old friend of yours, isn't he, Snape?" Sirius said, an edge to his voice.

"Shut up, Sirius," Remus muttered sharply before turning again to Kingsley. "Go on, Kingsley, please." Sirius huffed but was silent, as requested.

With a nod, Kingsley continued. "Viacheslav was better known as 'Sovo' during his years at Durmstrang and, unlike his younger brother, he seemed to keep his head down and take no sides during the first War. Sovo's family made no moves to force him into service and their Pureblood mania was surpassed only by the Blacks'. Active duty in Voldemort's army became the responsibility of Igor, who took to the task with great enthusiasm…until Voldemort was apparently destroyed by Harry Potter and Igor was stupid enough to get himself arrested – and put in Azkaban for his misplaced loyalties."

"But where did Jar – er – Sovo hide himself after he left Durmstrang?" Remus asked.

"Cambridge. He studied Muggle law and then returned to our world to study Magical Law under the tutelage of the Bulgarian Ministry of Magic. He passed with flying colors and began work with the Bulgarian version of our court system, trying only the highest-level cases that came before their Wizengamot. Became quite well known as the solicitor to have when the cards were stacked against you," Kingsley said. "But then Igor got himself into difficulty after being discovered as a Death Eater and sentenced to Azkaban. He was brought from Azkaban before our Wizengamot – you'll remember this Albus –under the guise of naming supposedly reputable wizards who had been in league with the Dark Lord before his fall. He turned on Barty Crouch, Jr. and his sentence was overturned as a result. Igor returned to Bulgaria, but his family had no use for him. He had shamed them by turning on one of Voldemort's most loyal servants and they felt his disloyalty keenly. Sovo's reputation was his livelihood and he feared that Igor would ruin it for him, as well. So, he changed his name and using Dark Magic and potions, permanently altered his appearance, his voice and erased his history with a very fictionalized CV. Under his new identity, Llewellyn Jarvis opened a solicitor's office in London and soon gained the same level of distinction and notoriety he'd enjoyed in Bulgaria, but as a British Wizard of renown this time around."

"Other than a brush with Dark Magic to alter his physical appearance, how does all this connect him with Voldemort?" Remus wanted to know.

"His first British client was Lucius Malfoy. Malfoy was first brought up on charges right after he left Hogwarts – nasty bit of Muggle torture in Staffordshire that came to the attention of local authorities. The Malfoys were pretty influential even in those days and when young Lucius' arrest hit the Daily Prophet, Jarvis jumped at it. He even went so far as to visit the Prophet's editor in chief and insinuate that a very damaging lawsuit was in the offing if a full retraction wasn't printed. Claimed that there was a huge frame-up and that Lucius' family was pursuing the truth at all costs. Needless to say, the whole incident was retracted as a page one story the following morning, with Jarvis' name given as the "authorized source" representing young Lucius. It didn't take long for Malfoy Sr. to visit Jarvis in his offices to vet his attributes. It's generally accepted that he liked what he saw and Jarvis handled the entire Muggle court appearance on Lucius' behalf. It's equally accepted that Jarvis employed a bit of magic in the process, as Lucius walked away with no sentence and no restitution required to the Muggle victim. In fact, the victim's family apologized profusely for their son's rude behavior to Lucius and assured him that it would not happen again."

"I'll bet that got some serious attention from Voldemort's crowd," Sirius spoke up, meeting Kingsley's gaze.

Kingsley smiled and shook his head. "Better than that. It got the attention of Voldemort, himself!"

"And Jarvis was convinced to take the Dark Mark as a result," Sirius again commented.

"Llewellyn Jarvis does not bear the Mark," Severus spoke softly from his seat.

All heads turned to him, but he did not take his eyes from Kingsley, who continued his presentation. "Jarvis was not required to do so. He claimed that he could be more effective and better serve the Dark Lord if he remained untouched. If his service ever came to light, he couldn't be linked to Voldemort and therefore could only help rather than hurt him. Voldemort eventually agreed to it and told no one of the arrangement."

"Then how does Snape…?" Severus cut Sirius off before he could finish.

"After our earlier conversation, I found that I could not reconcile myself to the exact theories we put forth. I began pulling them apart and realigning the pieces. Ultimately, and with Albus' blessing, I owled Jarvis with a request to meet. Thanks to his brother, Jarvis knows who I am – or he thinks he does, at any rate - and he is somewhat intimidated. I made mention of potential retribution by the Dark Lord after he'd failed to administer the tainted Veritaserum to Kate during the trial. I took the chance that he would speak with me, given the fact that I had confiscated – and was holding - the evidence."

"And once you'd made eye contact with him you took a bit of an uninvited stroll through his head, did you?" Sirius asked.

"An exercise for which you should be supremely grateful, Black, as it validates much of what Shacklebolt has discovered through his own unsavory informants," Severus spat, finally losing his patience with Sirius' barbs. "Jarvis had no immediate inkling of my presence and instead prattled on about his lack of connection to the Dark Lord. Tedious, but it did allow me unfettered access to his mind – for a time. And it confirmed the theory that you, Kate and myself – latterly – worked through – that Jarvis, indeed, was at the crux of Spear's death. It also allowed me to go one step further – to divine exactly what Jarvis gained in engaging both Malfoy and Pettigrew in Wizards' Debts."

"We sat and tried to work that one out for awhile, ourselves. What have you come up with?" Kate inquired, her mind flying through the possibilities yet again as she listened for his response.

"Jarvis was acting on behalf of another person," Severus said quietly.

"Who?" Remus asked, his brow furrowed.

"The Dark Lord."

The room was silent for a moment; even Sirius had stopped shifting in his seat to stare at Snape.

"Voldemort! Severus, explain please," Kate asked.

"When Jarvis refused the Dark Mark for the last time, advancing his theory about enhanced effectiveness on behalf of the Dark Lord, it was with much personal risk that he did so. The Dark Lord is, after all, unused to being denied. It was a testament to Jarvis' value to him that he permitted it as long as he did. Anxious to continue to use Jarvis' services for his minions, particularly those caught out in the Muggle world, but reluctant to sacrifice his wishes in the bargain, the Dark Lord appeared to accept Jarvis' explanation and, indeed, to go along with it. The Dark Lord told Jarvis, however, that he would not force him to take the Dark Mark as long as Jarvis understood there was a price to be paid. At some point, the Dark Lord would require something of Jarvis that could not be denied. Anxious to avoid the Mark, Jarvis foolishly agreed," Severus explained.

"And Voldemort is now collecting from him?" Remus asked.

This time, it was Albus who nodded then spoke. "He is, indeed, Remus. Voldemort has long been growing tired of Lucius Malfoy and his inability to deliver when required to do so. His mistake with Kate was the last straw. Pettigrew became expendable the moment Voldemort returned to corporeal form. Spear was a liability and a means to an end."

"'That end being?" Kate asked him.

"An unshakeable link to Harry Potter," Severus responded. "Sirius Black."

"Sirius?"

Severus nodded, his face grim. "Yes. The Dark Lord conceived of the plan to simultaneously kill Spear and ensnare Malfoy and Pettigrew, making them both indebted to Jarvis in the bargain. The debt will be erased through the achievement of Voldemort's ultimate plan to get to Harry through his Godfather."

"And just how does he intend to accomplish this great feat?" Sirius demanded, his face pale.

Severus shrugged. "Jarvis became aware of my presence and broke the connection." The Potions Master turned to Albus and locked eyes with him for a moment. After a barely perceptible nod from the older wizard, he continued. "I am currently attempting to discover the remainder of the plan, but I will not have an opportunity to investigate further until later in the week. You will need to be patient, Black, and take absolutely no risks until you hear from me again."

Sirius' emotions were running high and Snape's final comment was the straw that broke that particular wizard's back. He rose from his chair so suddenly that it tipped backward and landed on the floor with a resounding crash. "I will not take any bloody orders from you, Snape! This is my Godson we're talking about – and the wizard who has tried to kill him on several occasions. I have a responsibility to the boy…"

"Sit down, Sirius," came the calm, but firm voice of Albus Dumbledore. Sirius was breathing heavily and his hands were balled into fists at his sides. Remus righted the chair and touched Sirius' shoulder. "Sit down, Padfoot," he instructed quietly. Once Sirius had re-settled himself, Dumbledore spoke again.

"Sirius, until such time that we know for certain what it is that Voldemort is planning, anything you do could, conceivably, play right into his hands. You can be certain that he has a plan and is operating from a position of strength because we have no idea what it is or how to block him. The only piece of information we have concerns you and therefore we must ensure your safety to, in turn, guaranty that Harry isn't exposed to danger at Voldemort's hand."

"Albus, is there any way Voldemort could know about this place?" Kate asked. Sirius' head shot up and he looked at her, eyes snapping. She looked away from him, as Kate knew he had already guessed where she was heading with her question; he would not lose the freedom he'd gained from his ability to stay at the Annex.

It appeared that Dumbledore, too, had guessed the root of Kate's inquiry. "The Annex is under the Fidelius charm, which means that its location is known only to me, as its Secret Keeper," he said, looking at her kindly. "I see no immediate reason to banish Sirius to Grimmauld Place at the current time. That may change, however, depending upon Severus' success in discovering the remainder of the plan. Sirius, you must continue to maintain the current schedule at Grimmauld, however. I would also ask that you attempt to be a bit more civil to Kreacher. Remus tells me that he's gone missing on several occasions. We do not need to have him sharing your secrets – or ours – with any of your less savory family members."

Although enraged by Snape's comments and desolate about posing yet another risk to Harry's safety, Sirius had the good sense to realize that he was fortunate to be allowed to remain in the Annex with Kate. He therefore did nothing but nod as Dumbledore finished speaking, relieved that he would not be returned to Grimmauld Place permanently. It will be easier to be civil to that toe rag of a house elf if his time in Kreacher's presence was minimized, Sirius thought grimly. As he had thought Dumbledore had said all he'd intended, Sirius had ceased paying attention to the activity in the room. The sound of Harry's name, however, brought him around.

"…contact would be potentially perilous," Dumbledore was saying. He turned to Sirius. "Do you understand, Sirius?"

"I'm sorry, Albus, I didn't hear everything you said," the younger wizard was forced to admit.

"I was telling the others that I inadvertently became aware of a very interesting magical item in young Harry's possession – one you had given to him at the holiday," Dumbledore repeated.

Sirius felt a chill run through his body. Not the mirror. Not the mirror. "Really? And what was that?"

"A magical mirror; one of a pair, I'm told – and keyed to permit the two of you to speak to each other. Given that capability, I'm certain that you have its mate; is that true?" Dumbledore's voice was mild, but his eyes were piercing as they met Sirius'.

"Why, yes, I do have the mate," Sirius said defiantly. "Harry had been so upset at being out of communication with me after all the time we spent together over Christmas. I thought the mirrors would give him a means to contact me if he needed anything."

"An admirable sentiment, Sirius, and totally expected from a man who loves his Godson as much as you do. Given that fact, I'm sure that you can appreciate why I had to confiscate his half – and why I must now ask you to surrender yours," Dumbledore extended his hand toward Sirius and waited.

Kate watched as the emotions played clearly in Sirius' pale face. Defiance, stubbornness and finally, desperate anger flashed across his features before he thrust his hand into an inside pocket of his robes and withdrew his half of the set. He dropped it into Dumbledore's palm without taking his eyes from the older wizard's face. "Is that all?" he gritted out, rising.

Dumbledore nodded.

"May I be excused, then?" Sirius asked in the same tense tone of voice.

"Sirius, this is not meant to punish you. My actions are intended to protect you – and Harry."

"May I go?"

Dumbledore sighed. "Yes, of course."

And Sirius turned and left the room without further comment.

After he had gone, Remus spoke, "I fear that whatever Voldemort's planning, Sirius will make it quite easy for him to succeed."

Dumbledore sat down heavily in his chair. "One of the reasons I confiscated both mirrors is to minimize Sirius' ability to communicate with the boy. Sirius is an enormously powerful wizard and brilliant in the bargain. Had I left even one mirror in his possession, I have no doubt that he would have found a way to contact Harry." He paused and looked around the table, his gaze landing on Kate. "I assure you that I take no pleasure in this as I know the pain it causes to both of them. I will point out, however, that the Dark Lord can find ways to turn even the most innocent of devices into a conduit through which he can implement his own evil plans. We must be on our guard now more than ever. I fear that Voldemort is readying his followers for battle and we must be prepared. Remus, as interim head of the Order, I must ask that you review our surveillance and guard shifts at the Department of Mysteries and increase them if at all possible. We can ill afford to relax our guard over the Prophesy at this late date. Severus, you know what you must do – and as quickly as possible." Both wizards nodded solemnly. Dumbledore inclined his head in return and rose. "I must go. Severus, I will contact you soon to check on your progress. In the meantime, everyone, be on your guard at all times."

Once Dumbledore had gone, the meeting broke up and Severus pulled Kate aside while Remus and Kingsley spoke quietly near the door in the Great Room.

"Kate, you must do everything possible to keep Black in check until I can discover exactly what's being planned," Severus whispered.

Kate nodded. "I understand, Severus, and I'm prepared to do whatever is needed. Do you have any inkling of what Voldemort is plotting?"

Severus nodded once. "I believe I have an idea, but need more time to confirm it. Things will happen quickly once he sets them in motion, Kate. Communication amongst us will be critical to ensure he does not succeed."

Kate nodded and put her hand on his. "Thank you, Severus. I know that I do not have the full picture of your involvement, but I do know the risk in the dual role you play. We've had this conversation before but it seems appropriate to thank you again now that the danger is escalating and it looks like we're getting closer to full-out War once again." She leaned up and placed a small kiss on the dour man's cheek. "Please stay as safe as you can, Severus. I would truly hate to have anything happen to you," she whispered and was surprised to feel his fingers capture hers and squeeze them briefly.

"I will do my best with my end," he said after a moment. "You handle Black. Anything beyond that is out of our hands." And, with a final look, Snape turned and left the Annex.

Kate watched the door close behind him then turned back to the room and, as she did so, caught sight of Sirius, leaning against the doorframe of his room, arms folded across his chest, expression combative. "Getting 'control Sirius Black' pointers from Snape, are we?" he bit out.

It's going to be a long night, Kate thought to herself as she walked slowly toward Sirius, and the confrontation that was sure to come.


	68. The Department of Mysteries

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

That Sirius Black was angry was obvious from his posture and expression; that he had lost the opportunity to vent his spleen with the object of his ire further inflamed him. Add those factors to his inadvertent observation of Kate kissing said object – even on the cheek – and you had a situation as combustible as any cauldron Neville Longbottom ever put his hand to.

Kate took a deep breath as she drew level with Sirius, who had now pushed himself upright, away from the doorframe and was waiting for her to speak. "I wouldn't say that he was giving me any 'pointers', Sirius. It was rather a case of reminding me of what's at stake if you decide to ignore what's been asked of you."

"Spare me that," came the snide response, which Kate ignored, moving instead to the mantel and holding her trembling hands out toward the fire to warm them. Calm down, she told herself. You won't diffuse him by rising to the bait. You know this. Kate breathed deeply for a moment or two. When her hands stopped trembling and she felt her control come back to her, Kate calmly turned and sat down in the nearest of the two overstuffed chairs in front of the fire. Sitting back against the cushioned backrest and folding her hands in her lap, Kate looked over at the irate wizard, who had advanced into the room and was standing behind the couch. She thought for a moment then decided to just dive in. In for a penny, in for a pound.

"Sirius, I'm sorry that what you heard today frightened you. It frightened me, too. To hear that Voldemort has manipulated three wizards – well, four if you count Spear – for the express purpose of gaining access to Harry through you, well…that was nerve wracking, to say the least." Kate shifted in her chair so that she could see him better. "I also know that Dumbledore's confiscation of the mirrors has made you very angry. There's nothing to be done about that, however. He feels that he's acting in the best interest of both you and Harry. I can't fault him there – particularly with what we now know about Voldemort's plans," Kate finished, watching Sirius carefully. His anger seemed to have lessened – slightly.

"I'm not frightened," he protested. "I resent what Dumbledore did. He could have come to me directly and discussed the options with me. He didn't need to strip Harry of his mirror then come here and take mine, too. I'm not a child, Kate and yet I was treated as one," Sirius said bitterly.

"I understand, Sirius, but the comments you've made – in full hearing of other Order members – may have led him to take the action he did. If Dumbledore feels that you've taken a rash approach to your own safety, he may feel that he needs to take control and make decisions that you're not interested in making," Kate reasoned, keeping her tone neutral and her voice soft. "Please don't forget that you – and your safety – have tremendous impact on Harry."

Sirius tensed again. "That's why I have to be with him. He'll be able to see me; I'll fight them with him. He'll know I'm beside him, protecting him. No one understands this. You're his Godmother – why don't you understand how I feel?"

Well, that was a low blow, Kate thought. "I don't think this has anything to do with our roles as Godparents, Sirius. You are a fugitive in the eyes of the Ministry, and a traitor in the view of Voldemort and your rather colorful Death Eater relatives. Showing up to stand side by side with the Savior of the Wizarding World is not going to endear you to the latter and may easily be misinterpreted by the former. It would be easy for them to see you with Harry and assume that you meant him harm, you know. Either way, you stand to be captured and Kissed or suffer the Killing Curse – neither of which I'm keen to witness, just in case my feelings enter into this at all. Imagine what Harry will feel as he watches the Dementors sweep down on you. He's seen it once – remember? Do you remember what he risked to save you from them? Let's say for a moment that this does not happen. Let's say that one of Voldemort's army gets to you first. Let's say they decide to hit you with the Killing Curse. And, finally, let's say that this happens while you're 'beside Harry, protecting him'. Do you think, for one moment, that the child wouldn't do something totally noble, but completely foolish – and step in front of it to save you? And it would be a purely instinctive reaction on his part, Sirius – he loves you so much that he wouldn't even think about it."

"Stop it, Kate," Sirius whispered, his face showing the horror that her words were raising for him. "You don't know that Harry would do that. I would never want him to…" But Kate pressed onward, recognizing that, for the first time, something she had said to him had sunk in.

"Now, I don't think that your desire to be side by side with Harry has a great deal to do with making yourself visible to him or about fighting with him," Kate said quietly. "Harry knows whose side you're on. I think that you want to be in the thick of the battle with Harry to make up for the fight you weren't there for: the one that James fought that night in Godric's Hollow. If you'd recognized Peter for what he was, you would clearly have been waiting for Voldemort's arrival – standing shoulder to shoulder with James to protect all of them. You would have died with them, Sirius, just as you told Peter you would have done that night in the Shack. Oh yes, Remus told me about your reunion, and how you told Peter that he should have died rather than betray his friends. You would have gladly died alongside James and Lily if it meant protecting Harry – and destroying Voldemort in the bargain. But you didn't have that chance. Maybe you believe that James and Lily can see you from wherever they are; that this is your chance to stand with them – metaphorically, of course, through Harry – and fight the battle on their behalf. Maybe you think that by dying beside Harry you can make up for the fact that you didn't die next to James."

Sirius stared at her as if she's slapped him. "Why are you so convinced that I want to die? How can you believe that of me after everything we've been through these last months; after everything we've promised each other about the future?"

Kate's face reflected her own sadness. "Because I think you want to atone for James' death. I know that you want to keep Harry safe, but you're an intelligent man, Sirius and you can easily see that the best way to do that is to stay out of sight – as difficult as that is for you to do. I've said it before and I'll say it again now: you still bear an enormous amount of guilt for what happened to James and Lily and you've transferred that guilt to Harry. You've got to make it up to him. I don't for a moment doubt that you love me and want a future with me, but when it comes to Harry – and protecting him – all of that runs a very distant second. It's as if you need to do this to heal some part of yourself that's still bleeding. And you're wrong, Sirius, I do understand that – very well, as a matter of fact – because I want to protect Harry, too. And, I want to protect you. I want us to be a family when this whole sordid mess is over with. I want us to be a proper family, just as James and Lily envisioned us. Like you, my motives are complicated – and selfish. I want to atone for old sins, too; but I also don't want to lose anyone else that I love as part of that penance. I don't want to lose you again, Sirius and I'm selfish enough to dig my heels in about it. Make no mistake."

Sirius nodded, sadly. "The problem is, Katie-girl, so am I."

Kate swallowed hard. "Then I guess we're at an impasse, aren't we?"

"Just as we've been all along," Sirius replied.

"Except this time, it's not hypothetical, Sirius. This time, we know for sure that Voldemort's plans to get to Harry somehow include you. It's a fact, and you're still too stubborn to realize it," Kate said.

"Kate," Sirius came around the side of the couch and knelt before her, taking her hands in his. "I don't know what to do about this. I know in my heart that I'm doing the right thing. I have to do this. You know in your heart that you can't support it; that I'm putting Harry in more danger by facing Voldemort with him. You feel strongly that I'm wrong. I can't be untrue to what my heart tells me is the right thing to do; you can't be untrue to what you believe. We don't know when this confrontation will happen; we've already talked about this. We also said that we wouldn't spend whatever time we have angry at each other. We would find a way to push this to the side and live our lives. Ok, so now there's some indication that Voldemort is going to try to get to me so he can call Harry out. It's just as likely that it won't happen that way, you know. But every time something new pops up in this thing, we can't allow ourselves to turn on each other. We just can't," Sirius brought her hands to his face and nuzzled his cheek against them. "I love you," he whispered. "You love me. Let's just be – just for now; just until we can't anymore."

Sirius looked up at Kate, and she was surprised to see tears standing in his blue eyes. She felt her own fill in response and could do nothing but nod. Kate remembered her pact with Remus and knew that both of them would do whatever it took to stop Sirius if the time came to do so. Sirius rose and as Kate allowed herself to be pulled into his embrace, she could only hope that the timing would work, and Remus would be with them when all hell finally broke loose.

XXXXXXXX

Spring arrived in earnest over the next few weeks, while the Order worked virtually around the clock to uncover more of Voldemort's plot. The sun that was so weak in April began to gain strength and shine brightly in May. Although Harry was not permitted regular access to the Annex due to Umbridge's total control of the school, Remus frequently brought news from the boy, who owled him regularly at Headquarters. Dumbledore popped into Grimmauld when he had Order business to deal with, but forced himself to stay hidden to elude the Aurors – all of whom had orders to arrest him on sight.

Sirius knew that Harry was revising for his Owls, which all students were scheduled to sit later in the month. Although he missed his Godson very much, Sirius was comforted by the fact that the boy was as safe as he could be within the walls of the school, even while it was under the control of Dolores Umbridge.

Little by little, as no further threats were uncovered, Kate and Sirius had become more relaxed around each other and, eventually, it seemed to those around them that they had, indeed, been able to put their conflict aside for the time being. They found themselves spending more and more time on the stone balcony of the Annex, appreciating the rare fine weather. Appearances were deceiving, however, as Kate was never quite able to let go of her fears where Sirius was concerned. She was, however, better able to hide her feelings than Sirius, who had always worn his heart on his sleeve. After their last discussion several weeks ago, Sirius had been even more attentive to Kate. It's as if he feels he needs to reassure me of his love and affection, Kate thought to herself. It was vintage Sirius; this was his "making up" behavior as exhibited all through their years at Hogwarts. That they loved each other was never questioned; that they would ever come to an agreement over his role in Harry's protection was up for debate.

One evening, Kate and Sirius had finished dinner and were seated together in the Great Room reading. The dark clouds that had been slowly filling the skies all day had finally burst and the resulting chilly dampness had led Sirius to build a blazing fire in the hearth. As they sat, engrossed in their books and holding hands quietly, the fire flashed a bright green and, to their delight, Molly Selkirk stepped onto the stone hearth floor.

"Hello, children," she greeted them with a warm smile.

"Mum!" Sirius released Kate's hand and closed the distance to Molly in no more than two strides. As Kate watched, Sirius picked Molly up in his arms and spun her around once before setting her gently down and kissing her on the cheek. "I've missed you," he said sincerely as Molly patted her hair back into place and tried – unsuccessfully – to look stern. "Apparently," she responded, but the twitch in the corner of her mouth gave her away. "You stayed away too long is all," Sirius said, stepping closer and hugging her again. "Let's try not to do that again, shall we?" He kissed her cheek again then stepped back to let Kate greet the Healer who had become much more than a friend to them both.

"Molly, welcome back," Kate said, hugging the older woman tightly, but with more restraint than Sirius had shown. "I've missed you very much, as well, but I think I'll skip the lifting and twirling if it's all the same to you."

Molly laughed in response and patted Kate's cheek. "Thank you, sweet. I'm most anxious to catch up on everything that's been happening here while I've been away. Perhaps I can persuade one of you to brew some tea while I put away my things. Then, we can have a proper visit, yes?"

Sirius nodded at once and picked up Molly's bags before she could do so herself. Kate smiled. "Since you seem to have your valet service in place, I'll be happy to brew the tea. See you back here in a bit, then."

It took less than fifteen minutes for everyone to reconvene in the Great Room, with Molly taking her customary overstuffed chair and Sirius and Kate on the sofa.

"You've had quite the adventure since I've been away," Molly began, looking at Kate with a soft smile. And, from that leading comment, Kate and Sirius took turns sharing the details of recent events. So engrossed were they in conversation that they were unaware of the time that passed and so were surprised when Sirius glanced at his watch and declared that they'd been "yakking" for well over two hours. "It's well past time for you to be asleep, you know," he raised an eyebrow at Molly, who, in turn, gave him an indignant look.

"You know, young man, I've been regulating my own schedule for quite some time; I even managed to take care of myself these past weeks without your assistance," she informed him, barely suppressing a smile.

Sirius waved his hand dismissively. "That's as it may be, Mum, but you're back now and I can see to it that you're properly taken care of."

Molly caught Kate's eye and shook her head, smiling. "Have you been dealing with this in my absence?"

Kate returned her smile. "You've no idea."

"Been a bit of a rascal, has he?" Molly asked, remaining seated and earning a roll of the eyes from Sirius, who still stood next to her chair.

"Oh, yes. I would say that he's been a bit difficult to deal with from time to time," Kate said. Sirius shot her a warning look and Kate knew he was afraid she was really going to spill the beans on him. "But he wouldn't be our Sirius if he wasn't causing mischief of some sort," she finished and watched Sirius' shoulders relax.

"Well, I'll confess that I am a bit tired and I need to check on a patient in London tomorrow morning. Perhaps I will say goodnight," Molly said, finally rising. Sirius smiled and drew her into another hug.

"Get some sleep; we can have dinner and a proper visit tomorrow evening," he said, releasing her gently.

Kate shook her head. "You won't be here, remember? Tomorrow night is your scheduled overnight at Headquarters. We'll try to carry on without you – somehow," she finished.

Sirius looked at her for a long moment. "You won't come with me?"

Kate's eyebrows went up in surprise. "Sirius, you know I'm supposed to stay here."

"But, Katie-girl, Remus won't be getting back from his assignment abroad until quite late in the evening. Couldn't you just come and stay with me until he arrives? You wouldn't be there overnight – unless you really wanted to be," he said, his eyes pleading.

Oh, you think you're so clever, Kate thought, smiling inwardly. I've got you pegged, my boy; you're terribly afraid I'll spill the beans to Molly about your determination to follow Harry into whatever battle lies ahead of him next. Let's get me out of the Annex and remove the possibility that 'Mum' will find out what a stubborn 'boy' she's truly got!

"Kate, I don't think it would do any harm if you stayed there for a little while tomorrow night. Sirius does so hate to be alone in that horrible place and Remus will be coming back at some point, after all," Molly interjected, smiling fondly at Sirius.

Kate rolled her eyes as Sirius, who caught her expression, smiled broadly. "Should be careful, Katie-girl; wouldn't want your face to freeze that way, would we? So, we're settled then. You'll come to Grimmauld with me tomorrow night and we'll chat about your sleeping arrangements once you're there, yes?"

Kate folded her arms across her chest and looked at the two of them sternly. "I will accompany you to Headquarters tomorrow evening, Sirius, but I'll be coming back here as soon as Remus returns."

Sirius grinned sheepishly. "Well, it was worth a try."

XXXXXXXX

The following evening, Kate had finally convinced Sirius that she was not going to pack an overnight bag 'just in case' one was required. Although slightly disgruntled, Sirius took her hand and squeezed it tightly as they stepped into the fireplace and Floo'd into the kitchen hearth at Grimmauld Place.

As Kate brushed the soot from her robes, she turned to Sirius and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. "You're not fooling anyone, you know," she said.

Feigning ignorance, Sirius replied, "I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Katie."

"All that claptrap about staying the night. You know very well that you're perfectly capable of staying here – by yourself – for a night or two. You just wanted me removed from Molly's company so that I couldn't share some of your less commendable plans with her," Kate said, her hand on his arm.

"I can't believe you'd think I'd do something that devious," Sirius said, but his moustache quivered with his effort to keep a straight face. "Even if I had considered that possibility, it's not as if you'd have been successful; Molly knows me better than that."

"Hmm," Kate murmured. "I'm going upstairs to the parlor. Join me?"

Sirius leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "In a moment, love. I'll just nip upstairs and check on Buckbeak before I settle in with you. I sort of miss the old beast!"

Kate chuckled and headed up the stairs to the parlor, using her wand to light the fireplace when she arrived to cure the chill in the room. Wherever Kreacher had been keeping himself, he certainly hadn't been keeping the home fires burning, as it were. She had been sitting on the sofa for only a moment when she could hear footsteps pounding down the staircase. She rose to see Sirius pass by the open doorway, his face dark with anger. As Kate hurried into the hallway to see what had happened, she missed the flash of green from the fireplace and the appearance of Harry Potter's head in the flames. And, she was well away from the parlor when he frantically called out Sirius' name.

Down in the kitchen, Kate caught up with Sirius as he was setting the kettle to boil and rummaging through the drawers for clean towels. "Bloody house elf!" Sirius was livid and his voice reflected his anger.

"Sirius, stop!" Kate grabbed his arms tightly and forced him still. "What's happened?"

Sirius' eyes were wild, but he took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down enough to speak. "That fucking toe rag has cut Buckbeak's wing. I just missed catching him by his scrawny little neck, but he was too quick for me, the little bleeder! I've barely gotten the bleeding to stop and now I need to clean it up and bandage him. I can't use magic on him because Hippogriffs don't heal as well that way. Please, Kate; I need to get back to him now."

Kate released him. "I'll come with you. Perhaps I can help."

Sirius shook his head. "He's in pain and he's pissed off, Katie. I'm afraid he'd lash out and you'd be hurt. I won't be long; I promise," he took another deep breath and exhaled slowly. "I promise," he said again, kissing her gently. "But when I'm finished, Kreacher won't know what hit him!" And with that, Sirius snatched up the kettle, the towels and the magical healing remedy kit they kept in the kitchen for emergencies and stalked up the staircase. Kate straightened up a bit in his wake, then made her way back upstairs to the parlor, looking furtively around her as she did so, hoping to see Kreacher and cast a Body Bind hex to detain him until Sirius could join her. Regrettably, Kreacher appeared to have already gone to ground. Kate settled herself in the deep cushions of the couch once again, pondering the reasoning behind Kreacher's actions. It made no sense that he would risk his own life by injuring the Hippogriff, unless he had been so driven by the abuse Sirius heaped upon the elf whenever he saw him. Kate sighed. While he may have improved greatly in the past months, there were parts of Sirius that would never change; his temper was one. She was distracted from her thoughts a moment later when the flames blazed green and Severus Snape's face looked out at her from the fireplace.

"Kate! Thank Merlin you're there!" he said, his face strained. "Is Black with you?"

Kate rushed to the fireplace and knelt in front of the flames. "Yes. He's upstairs with Buckbeak. Kreacher injured the poor animal and Sirius is tending to him now. What's happened, Severus?"

"I've little time to explain. Kate, it's started. Potter saw Black being tortured – by the Dark Lord – in the Prophesy Room at the Department of Mysteries. Typical of the boy, he and his band of followers are on their way to the Ministry now – to rescue his Godfather," Snape said in a rush. "Kate, it's a trap. The Dark Lord pushed that vision into Potter's mind to get him to do exactly what he's doing now – act rashly and travel to London, unprotected, to save Black. They will be met by a band of Death Eaters who will try to force Potter to retrieve - then surrender his Prophesy. Kate – the students will be killed – all but Potter, that is. The Dark Lord will then arrive to take him on – and finish him – alone."

Kate swallowed the panic that arose in her throat. "Does Albus know?"

Snape nodded. "Yes. I've just spoken with him. Lupin was with him and they are alerting those in the Order they can reach with instructions to Apparate directly into the Ministry. We haven't got much time – perhaps an hour. I must go."

Kate nodded. "I'll leave straight away. Severus, please – be careful."

Snape nodded once, then disappeared from view, the flames going back to normal a moment later.

"Where are you going?" came a deep rumble from the doorway. Kate closed her eyes for a moment then turned to face Sirius.

"What did Severus want?" Sirius face was pale and his eyes glittered as they searched her face.

Kate began to walk slowly toward Sirius, her wand hidden in the sleeve of her robes, alert to any sudden movement he might make. Severus was right in more ways than he knew. This was it. "There's a problem at the Ministry. I'm needed to help sort it out," she answered, coming to a stop a few feet from where he stood.

"It's Harry, isn't it? Harry's in trouble," Sirius reached into his robes for his wand and turned toward the hallway, Kate hot on his heels. "I'm leaving. I told you I wouldn't be left behind this time. I won't allow him to face this alone."

Sirius was just two steps away from the front door when a flash of light raced past him and the ancient wood glowed for a moment before returning to its natural state. A split second later, the cold click of metal against metal was heard as the magical deadbolts slid home; the outer fixtures then disappeared making the door impenetrable. Sirius stood, gaping at the door in disbelief then slowly turned to face Kate.

She gasped. The look on Sirius' face was one she'd seen directed at Severus – perhaps once or twice toward his mother's portrait, but never, ever had he shown it to her – not even in the midst of their wildest confrontations.

"Open it," he snarled, taking a step toward her.

"No. I told you I wouldn't allow you to do this…"

"Won't allow…? You've no say in this! Open. The. Fucking. Door!" Sirius raised his voice slightly, his tone beyond threatening.

"No."

Sirius made a sound, deep in his throat that reminded her of Padfoot in full temper. He turned and ran toward the door, slamming his body against it and shouting wordlessly as if that very action could undo the spell she had cast. The door held. He slammed himself against it again. The door held fast.

"Stop it!" Kate cried. "You'll hurt yourself!"

Sirius whirled around and headed toward her, his face livid and his eyes wild. He raised his wand, but Kate was ready for him. "Expelliarmus!" she cried and Sirius' wand flew from his hand to some point behind her. That she had cast a spell against him brought Sirius up sharply and that one moment of hesitation was all Kate needed.

"Petrificus Totalis!"

Sirius' eyes widened in shock, but that was the last movement he made as his body seized – muscles and joints locking into position as he began to pitch forward. Kate moved quickly and just managed to stop him hitting the hard surface; she gently lowered him to the floor until he rested on his back.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, pausing long enough to cup his cheek in the palm of her hand. As she looked at Sirius' face, Kate wished she had not done so. Although he was frozen, the look in his eyes told her that she had overstepped all boundaries; she had gone beyond any betrayal he might have accused her of committing in the past. "I have to go, but I'll be back. You can say or do whatever you'd like to me then."

Kate rose and glanced around the hallway. She realized that she shouldn't leave the immobile wizard where he was – for several reasons. If any Order member were to come to Headquarters, they would most certainly release the body bind - if only to find out what had happened to cause it. That would be all Sirius would need to make good his threat to join Harry. But where to put him? Finally, Kate levitated the Sirius' inert form into the parlor, guiding his body to a far corner where she gently set him down, on his back, in the shadows. "I'm sorry, love," she said again then turned to walk away. As Kate approached the hearth, she called out, "Accio Sirius' wand!" A moment later, a slight scuffling sound was heard and Sirius' wand flew through the air and into her hand.

"I'll bring it back to you," she said and, with one final, agonized look, Kate threw a handful of Floo powder into the fire and stepped in, calling, "The Ministry of Magic – Atrium!" In a flash of green, she was gone.

XXXXXXXX

In the moment she stepped onto the polished floor of the Ministry's Atrium, the first thing that struck Kate was the silence. Normally the heartbeat of the Ministry during the day, the Atrium was empty at this time of night. She made her way past the Magical fountain, stepping soundlessly through the expansive space toward the back of the hall, where the room narrowed to a single doorway. As Kate approached the doorway, the sound of voices could be heard; she slipped inside and positioned herself flat along the wall, sliding along the surface until she could see what was happening in front of her.

As the room slowly came into view, Kate barely suppressed a gasp at the scene. A huge, empty stone archway loomed tall and imposing in the center of the area, anchored to a craggy stone surface that took up most of the floor in the room. The Veil, Kate thought to of various shapes and sizes rose at different points throughout the perimeter, providing ample concealment for those who wished to remain unseen. Because of them Kate could not be certain how many people were actually present. But she could see one group very clearly and the sight made her blood run cold. Harry stood several yards down slope from the archway. He had positioned his friends behind him and he observed his surroundings. His wand was drawn and extended in front of him; the Prophesy cradled in his other hand. Suddenly, streaming tendrils of jet black smoke darted throughout the room. As the ribbons wove around the huddled students, each child disappeared, until finally the room cleared, revealing a situation more perilous than the one Kate had walked in on. Each of Harry's friends had been swept up and was being held by a single Death Eater. As her eyes swept the scene, Kate could clearly see Bellatrix LeStrange, holding Neville Longbottom by the hair, her wand at his throat. Her husband, Rabastan LeStrange held Hermione Granger in a similar position while Rudolphus LeStrange and two others whom Kate did not immediately recognize had similar grips on Ron Weasley, his younger sister, Ginny, and a blonde girl Kate had not seen before. A moment later, a voice Kate did recognize cut through the eerie stillness of the room.

"Did you think – were you so foolish as to actually believe that you could defeat us?" Lucius Malfoy, in full Death Eater garb, spoke as he slowly climbed the rocky surface, heading directly for Harry. As he did so, Malfoy's gaze drifted over to where his sister-in-law smirked as she tightened her fist a bit more tightly in the struggling Neville's hair.

Harry circled away from Malfoy, protecting the Prophesy against his chest and keeping a decent distance between the Death Eater and himself. Finally, Lucius came to a stop in front of the boy and extended his hand. "This is really very simple, Potter. You have a choice: Give me the Prophesy – now, or watch your friends die!"

Kate watched the play of emotions on the teenager's face. Clearly, he had realized the significance of the crystal globe he held in his hand. Defiance gave way to realization and, finally, to resignation as Harry looked around him at those he cared about so very much.

"Don't do it, Harry!" cried Neville Longbottom and Kate suddenly remembered the bravery of the boy's parents and how they, too, had suffered at the wand of the woman who now, ironically, held their son captive.

"Shush," Bellatrix hissed, pushing her wand further into the boy's throat.

Harry took one more look at the Prophesy then extended it toward the tall, blonde man in front of him. With a cold, calculating smile, Lucius Malfoy took the globe from Harry's hand and held it aloft for a moment in triumph. His moment did not last. A flash of light burst silently behind Malfoy, the glare momentarily illuminating Harry's face. As Kate watched, Malfoy's brows knit together in confusion and he slowly turned toward the source of the light.

Kate heard him before she saw him. "Get away from my Godson," Sirius ordered, his face calm, his voice low and even – and then he struck, unleashing a powerful right-hand blow that caught Malfoy squarely on his jaw. The force propelled the Death Eater around and as he hit the rock floor, the Prophesy slipped from his hand and smashed against the stone. Once Malfoy was down, Sirius grabbed Harry by the scruff of the neck and pulled him around to the back of the archway. As he did so, similar flashes of light flared throughout the chamber as the members of the Order of the Phoenix Apparated into the Chamber as well. As stunned as Kate was to see Sirius, the sounds of spells and hexes around her drew her out of her immobile state and she joined the others in battle.

Working round the back of the archway, Kate fired off several hexes at the LeStrange brothers who were also circling the perimeter. She kept one eye on Sirius and Harry as she pulled Ginny from the clutches of a blonde Death Eater she did not know and pushed her in the direction of a huge boulder. "GO! Hide there until we come for you – and watch your back!" she ordered the young girl, who nodded and slipped out of sight.

Kate turned back to the scene, deflecting a hex from Rabastan LeStrange before casting a Reducto spell that sent him careening into the back wall of the room and left him crumbled in a heap on the floor. Turning again, Kate found herself next to Remus. "What the hell is Sirius doing here?" she shouted at the werewolf, who shrugged his shoulders before firing a spell at Rudolphus LeStrange, sending him airborne to join his brother. Kate saw Mad Eye conjure ropes and tie the two together and again turned her attention toward the stone dais where Sirius and Harry stood together in front of the Veil. Kate heard voices behind her and turned to see Albus Dumbledore enter the chamber with Cornelius Fudge in tow. The latter's eyes went wide when he saw Malfoy dueling Harry Potter and … Sirius Black on the dais. A harsh cry drew Kate's attention back toward that duel.

Lucius drew his wand from the handle of his walking stick and cast a Stunning spell in Harry's direction. Sirius stepped awkwardly in front of the boy and blocked it. Sirius quickly shot a spell at Malfoy's body, but it went badly wide, missing the Death Eater completely. Malfoy aimed his wand a second time and Harry yelled, "Expelliarmus" and Malfoy was successfully disarmed for a second time.

"Nice one, James!" Sirius shouted gleefully and Harry's expression crumbled.

Sirius cried out a second time, aiming his wand directly at Malfoy; this spell didn't miss and its force lifted Malfoy upward and flipped him over and over in mid air, dropping him to the floor, unconscious.

A flash of light appeared at the top of the tallest boulder that rose behind Malfoy's unmoving form and, as it cleared Bellatrix LeStrange rose to stand proudly at its peak. She raised her wand.

"Avada Kedavra!" she shrieked and a bolt of deadly green light shot from the tip of her wand and headed directly for Sirius. Kate caught her breath, in the throes of pain she had felt but once before – on a crowded Muggle street, years ago, as the wizard before her had been led away in shackles. She looked at Harry, whose face registered shock at the sight before him. In that moment, the man who was the closest thing he had to a father was being taken from him and his agony was too painful to be witnessed.

The Killing Curse hit Sirius in his right side, turning him 180 degrees so that he faced both Harry, and where Kate was standing, as well. His expression changed slightly and with a look of sad regret in his eyes, his body began to change as it leaned backward, toward the Veil.

Kate closed her eyes, feeling hot tears slip down her cheeks. I cannot watch this. I will not allow this to be the last image I have of Sirius.

Behind her, Kate heard Dumbledore's voice cry out, "Arresto Momentum!" and she felt the impact of his spell as the atmosphere around her seemed to become heavy, somehow and slower. She realized that the wizard had slowed time with his spell and, through her pain, she was thankful that perhaps this would allow them to catch his body before he arched through the Veil.

"Kate, open your eyes." It was Dumbledore. Kate opened her eyes and glanced to her right where the old wizard was standing. "Look," he pointed toward the Veil, where Sirius still stood. Harry reached toward him but Remus had arrived and caught the boy in his arms, holding on for dear life as the teenager struggled to get away from him and move toward Sirius again. As Sirius' image continued to waiver, then flicker, Harry finally succeeded in breaking free of Remus' restraining arms. Instead of moving toward the image of his Godfather, however, he turned and ran after Bellatrix, who had just slipped past them on her way toward the Atrium doorway – and freedom.

"Remus," Albus called to him, gesturing toward Sirius. The werewolf turned toward the Veil and, with Kate, Dumbledore and Fudge, watched in amazement. The flickering had turned into something more. The image of Sirius was slowly being replaced by something else. Blue eyes were morphing into a watery brown and thin hair, sparsely distributed across a broad skull took the place of shoulder-length waves. The figure became shorter, more rotund and, finally passed completely through the Veil and disappeared. As it did, something tangible flashed and fell onto the stone where the figure had just stood. The four gathered together gasped as one person.

Lying before them was a sterling silver hand.


	69. Aftermath

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Lying before them was a sterling silver hand.

(end Chapter 68)

"Peter!" Remus whispered, his face the color of chalk as he gazed at the sight before them.

"Pettigrew," Fudge murmured, turning to gaze at the others standing with him.

"Kate, Remus, please gather the students from the hallway and take them back to the school," Dumbledore spoke urgently. "I must get to Harry. I suspect the Dark Lord will make an appearance momentarily."

"But, Albus, shouldn't he know…?" Kate began her own face pale and her voice trembling.

Dumbledore reached out and clasped her shoulder warmly. "In due time, Kate. Let's move the others out of danger. Take the children back to Hogwarts; get them to Poppy in the Hospital Wing. Cornelius, I can meet with you later, in your office." Dumbledore was already striding toward the doorway leading to the Atrium. Fudge nodded vigorously, watching the old wizard's back disappear from view.

Fudge turned to Kate and Remus, his shock evident on his face. "I must go; I – dear Merlin, Pettigrew's alive; Black is – well, I don't know what he is, I … suppose. Oh, dear, who would have thought..." he paused, his eyes widening as a thought struck him. "Did Dumbledore just say the Dark Lord would be … here?"

"I believe he did, Minister," Remus said. "And we really need to get the students back to Hogwarts before he arrives," and he carefully stepped around Fudge. "Come, Kate."

"Minister," Kate said to the shaken man. "Are you alright?"

"What? Alright? Oh, yes, yes. I'm quite fine, really. Thanks. Must dash," the Minister babbled and he headed for the door through which Dumbledore had just disappeared.

"Kate, we must get the children back to Hogwarts," Remus gently reached for her arm and they walked through the doorway where the students were waiting.

XXXXXXXX

The ragtag little party entered the Great Hall approximately ninety minutes later, transported by the same Thestrals that had taken them to London earlier in the evening. Remus had led the creatures to the edge of the Black Forest while Kate and the children waited on the grounds. As they approached the staircase, Minerva greeted them, confirming Dumbledore's safe return with Harry and hugging both Kate and Remus before shepherding the students upward to the Hospital Wing. Once the children were on their way, the adults walked slowly toward the Headmaster's office. Halfway there, Kate stopped in her tracks.

"Remus," she said, her eyes wide. "Umbridge…"

Remus smiled. "Gone. I was with Dumbledore when Snape arrived to report what was happening with Harry. Apparently, the Weasley twins made a grand exit during OWLs earlier this morning which was Umbridge's ultimate undoing. Apparently, she's somewhere in the Black Forest having tea with the Centaurs."

Kate shook her head and resumed walking beside her friend. "Pettigrew…Remus, who would have believed it?"

"Your theory suggested it; well, perhaps not exactly what happened tonight, but certainly that he would be involved," Remus said quietly. "And, they certainly did use Sirius to lure Harry – at least in a way. I'm hopeful that Kingsley will also be part of whatever meeting Dumbledore may schedule; I would like to know more about Malfoy's escape."

"Not to mention how Pettigrew was able to take Sirius' form. Snape warned me that Voldemort had pushed into Harry's mind an image of Sirius being tortured in the Department of Mysteries. He also said that the Death Eaters were being dispensed to capture the Prophesy, kill the other students and leave Harry to face Voldemort when he made his entrance later in the evening. Severus may know more about tonight's events than he was able to tell me at Headquarters," Kate mused. She shook her head as if to clear it before continuing, "Anyway, Tonks and a team of Aurors arrived as we were leaving to take over from Mad Eye. They'll be able to imprison Malfoy and the LeStrange brothers as well as that blonde bloke. Do we know who he is yet?"

Remus shook his head. "Tonks may; Kingsley certainly will, as will Severus, particularly given what you've just said. Bloody Bellatrix escaped, though."

Kate's face paled. "Escaped thinking she'd killed Sirius," she said softly.

Kate began to tremble. She had been trying very hard not to think of Sirius since they'd left the Department of Mysteries. Watching her greatest fear play out in front of her in the chamber had shaken her deeply; thinking of what had happened before the battle – at Headquarters, was also difficult. Kate did not think she would ever be able to forget his face as he had looked at her in the hallway of Grimmauld Place.

"Kate?" Remus asked. "Where is Sirius? It just occurred to me that you must have had to handle that end of things on your own…"

"Remus, it was terrible – worse than I had anticipated," Kate interrupted and, as hot tears slipped down her cheeks, she told him what had happened earlier that night. Remus stood next to her and listened silently until she had finished.

"Oh, Katie," he murmured, pulling her into a hug. "You knew you would have to take drastic action to stop him leaving; you told me as much." Remus felt her nod against his chest. "You also told Sirius that you would take extraordinary steps to ensure he could not endanger himself or Harry." Remus gently pulled back and raised her chin with his fingers until she looked at him. "You didn't lie. You did exactly what you promised. Sirius didn't like it and he directed all of his anger and frustration at you. You can't control that."

"You didn't see his face, Remus. He's never looked at me like that before," Kate accepted his handkerchief.

"You took a stand. You did what you felt you had to do; just as Sirius tried to do what he felt was best. I'll wager that he never thought you'd actually do it. He was careless and emotional; you were precise and stuck to your plan," Remus reasoned.

"He won't see it that way," Kate predicted. "And when he sees how upset Harry is…"

"Harry may very easily help your cause. As I recall, we haven't really heard from that young wizard; I'll wager he'll have something to say on the topic of Sirius' plan to go into battle with him. And I suspect Sirius will be very much surprised to hear it," Remus smiled tiredly. "Besides, I suspect that when Sirius hears all that happened this evening, he will have a great deal more to consider than a well-placed hex or two. After all, Peter was seen tonight – and by the Minister of Magic, no less. It should make it much easier to clear Sirius' name, wouldn't you think? I would imagine that it also raises another interesting question: should the truth of tonight's battle – and its surprise combatant – be released to the public straight away?" Remus paused, his expression suddenly thoughtful as he looked at Kate. "Or, should we announce that Sirius Black, fugitive from justice, died while battling Death Eaters with Magical Law Enforcement personnel?"

Kate looked at Remus, her face incredulous. "Clear his name, but deny him his freedom? That's completely unfair!"

Remus smiled sadly. "I know it is and I don't know that I would agree to it if I was in Sirius' shoes, but if, by doing so, we gain some type of advantage over Voldemort and his followers, don't be surprised if Dumbledore doesn't suggest it."

Kate nodded. "If he does, I'm not sure he'll find Sirius in a very accepting mood."

"Likely not," the werewolf agreed. "Why don't we go up to Albus' office and see what he has in mind for us?"

The duo had finally reached the revolving staircase that led to Dumbledore's office. They mounted the first step and Kate looked at Remus expectantly. "Fizzing Whizzbees!" Remus said clearly and the staircase began to revolve and move upward.

The door to the office opened upon their approach and Kate and Remus entered to find Dumbledore seated behind his desk and Harry in a chair in front of it. The boy's face still bore the bruises from his earlier skirmish despite Poppy's treatment. When the Headmaster's eyes rose to the door, Harry's gaze followed and upon seeing Kate he rose and walked over to where she stood. Kate was saddened to see tears standing in the teenager's eyes and she opened her arms to him. Harry shook his head and Kate's heart clenched. "You don't know everything," he said quietly, his eyes locked on the floor.

"There's nothing you could say to me that would make me refuse to hug you," Kate said, just as softly. When Harry looked up, he saw that she had not lowered her arms. "Come here," she finished. It took only a moment before Harry took that final step and Kate closed her arms around him.

"It's alright, darling," she whispered, as she rested her cheek against the top of his head. Harry trembled in her arms and she tightened them reflexively. "It's alright," she said again. "I'm right here."

At that, Harry lifted his head and leaned back to see her face. "But Sirius isn't," he whispered. "And that's my fault. It's all my fault, Kate. I didn't learn Occlumency the way I should have and I thought Sirius was in trouble; I let myself fall into Voldemort's trap and now, Sirius is …, and it's all because of me."

"Harry, no; please don't think that way. It's not your fault at all," Kate tried to reassure him. She then locked eyes with Dumbledore over Harry's shoulder and lifted her eyebrows in confusion. Surely, you've told him? It's cruel to let him continue to think that Sirius is …

Dumbledore gave a slight nod. "I thought perhaps Mr. Potter and his friends might wish to stay in the Annex together tonight. Kate, you and Remus will need to come with me to Grimmauld Place to meet with several Order members gathering there. There is much to discuss tonight and several decisions to be made. Tomorrow morning you could join him there and spend some time together. I think one night away from the Annex will not cause any harm; Kate, would you not agree?"

"Of course, Albus," she replied. Kate looked back at Harry, who had calmed somewhat but whose eyes still reflected his tremendous sadness. "Breakfast with me tomorrow?" she asked him and was relieved to see the ghost of a smile touch Harry's face as he nodded. Kate hugged him tightly once more and whispered, "I love you," before releasing him. Harry leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "I love you, too," he said. "I'll see you in the morning, then?"

Kate nodded, swallowing her own emotions and summoning a smile for the boy. "Get some rest, love," she said, patting his shoulder.

"Ah, Minerva, good," Dumbledore again looked across the room at the entrance to his office. "May I impose upon you to take Mr. Potter and the other children to The Annex? Molly Selkirk is there; I've spoken with her and she's quite looking forward to their company for the night."

"Of course, Headmaster," the Scotswoman nodded. "Come, Potter." Minerva put an arm around Harry's shoulders and led him from the room.

Once they had left, Kate turned toward the Headmaster once again. "Albus, this is simply cruel. You saw how he's reacted; it's completely unfair of you to allow him to continue to think that Sirius is…"

Dumbledore held up one hand. "Kate, I understand and I quite agree with you. Tomorrow morning, we will return Harry's friends to their dormitory then you and Sirius will join Harry and we will explain everything to him. Tonight, however, there is much to discuss and much to resolve. Harry needs to rest after this evening's events; that will prepare him for the shock of seeing his Godfather, alive and well tomorrow. Are we agreed?"

At Kate's nod, Dumbledore rose. "Why don't we use my fireplace to Floo to London? Remus, perhaps you could go first and let them know we're on our way, yes?" His eyes locked onto Remus' and the werewolf nodded. He stepped into the fireplace and tossed the Floo Powder onto the hearth. "Kitchen, number 12 Grimmauld Place," he said, clearly and a moment later, he was gone.

Kate watched him disappear and wondered at the reception she would receive when she arrived. She also wondered just how much Sirius knew.

"Are you ready, Kate?" Albus asked, handing her the jar of Floo Powder.

Kate nodded and repeated Remus' actions from moments before. Seconds later, she was stepping out of the fireplace and into the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. Expecting to see Sirius and Remus both, Kate was surprised to find the room empty.

"They are gathered upstairs, in the parlor," came the rich, baritone voice of Severus Snape. Kate jumped, startled at the unexpected sound and turned toward the stairway, the direction from which it had come. "My apologies; I did not intend to frighten you," he finished.

Just as Snape finished speaking, the fireplace blazed green once again and Dumbledore stepped into the room.

"Ah, Severus, there you are," Albus greeted the Potions Master. "And the others?"

"Upstairs. Before we join them, however, may I have a word?" Snape asked the older man.

Kate spoke up. "I'll just go upstairs, then," and made her way through the doorway and up the flight of stairs leading to the front hallway.

As Kate approached the parlor door, she saw Sirius standing in the far corner of the room, stretching, his arms extended over his head. Remus stood in front of him, slipping his wand back in his pocket. Remus' expression was stern; Sirius' was dark with anger and indignation. Recalling her mistake months ago, Kate did not linger outside the door, observing. Instead, she entered the room, bracing herself for the worst.

"Kate," Remus crossed the room to greet her.

"How is he?" Kate stood on tiptoe to look over Remus' shoulder. Upon her entrance to the parlor, Sirius had turned and strode over to the window, where he now stood, with his back to them both.

"How does he look?"

"Angry. Cold," Kate replied.

"Accurate assessment," Remus confirmed. "I'd recommend steering clear of him for now; see how things progress." He squeezed her arms gently. "Ah, here's Kingsley. Albus and Severus should be along in a moment and we'll begin."

"Remus. Kate," Kingsley greeted them both, then turned to speak with Dumbledore and Snape who joined them soon after. As Remus stepped forward to greet the Potions Master, Kate had a clear view of Sirius; he hadn't moved. Posture rigid, hands balled into fists and shoved into the pockets of his robes.

"Shall we sit down?" Dumbledore's voice rose slightly. "Sirius?"

Everyone took seats close to the fire while Sirius, who waited until everyone was settled, brought a chair over from the other side of the room and placed it a bit of a distance from the others – and as far away from Kate as he could manage and still technically be considered 'present' for the meeting.

"Sirius, I'm not sure how much you know of this evening's events," Dumbledore paused.

"There was a confrontation involving Harry; that's as much as I know. I was indisposed until a few moments ago when Remus arrived," Sirius said quietly, with the barest of glances in Kate's direction.

"This evening, Voldemort sent Death Eaters to the Ministry to intercept Harry and a group of his friends who traveled to London to rescue you," Dumbledore told him.

"To rescue me?" Sirius asked.

"Yes. Voldemort pushed an image of you into Harry's mind. The image showed you, being tortured at Voldemort's hand. He felt certain that the boy would try to come after you and he had apparently instructed his followers to obtain the Prophesy then kill Harry's friends, leaving the boy for him. The Dark Lord planned to arrive in the end and kill Harry, himself," Dumbledore paused. "Things did not go as planned."

"How is Harry?" Sirius demanded, rising from his chair. "Where is he?"

"Sit down, Sirius," Dumbledore said, not unkindly. "Harry's fine. He's at school with his friends. You and Kate will be with him tomorrow morning." At the mention of Kate's name, Sirius' face hardened and he sat back down.

"Sirius, when the Order members arrived in the Department of Mysteries this evening, you were with them," Dumbledore said, his eyes vaguely twinkling for the first time in a very long while.

Sirius spared a hard glance at Kate. "I can assure you, Albus, despite the fact that I should have been there, I was not."

"It appeared to be you, and all those present believed it to be true, as well," Dumbledore replied. "You dueled with Lucius Malfoy and bested him handily. Regrettably, your cousin, Bellatrix LeStrange took offense and cast the Killing Curse in your direction. Equally regrettably, you were standing before the Veil at the time. You died and disappeared through the archway," he finished. "It was in that moment that we knew for certain it was not, in fact, you. As the figure began to disappear through the Veil, certain changes occurred, the last of which was the dropping of a silver hand onto the floor."

Sirius looked confused.

"Peter, Sirius," Remus said to him. "It was Peter. The question, which perhaps someone here can now answer, is how Peter was able to transform into you."

"Pettigrew?" Sirius sat back in his chair and for the first time that night, his face bore more astonishment than rage.

"Yes, Black, Pettigrew," Snape cut in.

"But, how did he….?" Sirius trailed off, looking down at his hands which were clasped together to tightly, the knuckles were white. Kate watched Sirius closely and knew, from long experience, that his mind was racing and he was trying desperately to control it.

"We're not exactly certain," Kingsley took over from Snape. "It would seem, however, that the theory you and Kate developed was at least partially correct."

"How so, Kingsley?" Kate asked the Auror.

"We did an initial analysis of the silver hand and it yielded traces of Polyjuice potion," he responded.

"Well, I don't understand how that could have happened," Sirius mused. "The last time I saw that bloody rat was in the Shrieking Shack the night the truth all came out, and I certainly …"

"Kreacher," Kate cut him off. "Remus, didn't you say that he had been increasingly absent in the past weeks?"

"Kingsley, Kreacher could not have betrayed me to Pettigrew; he's bound to serve the Black family," Sirius refused to acknowledge Kate – or the theory she espoused; but Kate would not be deterred.

"That's correct, Sirius," she said. "The Black family. He could not have betrayed anything to anyone outside the family, but we all know that membership is rather loosely defined. Kreacher could have facilitated the potion by bringing something of yours to another family member. After all, you were disowned; that may have given Kreacher even more latitude."

But Sirius had turned his attention from her the moment Kate had interrupted him and made no response. Remus, however, picked up the thread of Kate's theory and continued.

"That makes complete sense," he agreed, turning to Sirius. "Padfoot, has anything of yours gone missing in the last few days? A set of robes? Your toothbrush?"

Sirius snorted and looked away from his friend. "Don't be ridiculous, Remus. I would have noticed if…" he paused.

"Yes, Sirius?" Dumbledore watched the younger wizard closely.

"My hairbrush," Sirius said quietly, huffing out a breath and shaking his head. "My bloody hairbrush went missing two days ago. I figured I'd left it at the Annex. The bastard probably brought it over to dear cousin Bellatrix; after darling Mum's portrait, she's the next in line for his affections."

"That would do it," said Remus. "So, Kreacher delivers the hairbrush to Bellatrix who then brews Polyjuice potion and gives it to Peter."

"Not Bellatrix," Snape put in. "Abysmal at potions. Only Neville Longbottom has melted more cauldrons than she. You're quite close, however; Narcissa, her sister, is a truly gifted brewer."

"But why?" Kate asked him. "Look, Bellatrix convinces Kreacher to deliver Sirius' hairbrush to her and she, in turn, passes it on to her sister, Narcissa, with instructions to add several strands of his hair to Polyjuice potion Narcissa must have had brewing for several weeks previous. Voldemort causes Harry to see Sirius in the Department of Mysteries, being tortured. By the time Peter arrives, in Sirius' form, Harry is already there. Mission accomplished. There had to be another motive. Kingsley, what about Malfoy? Have you been able to question him?"

"Not yet," Kingsley told her. "He's at the Ministry, in a holding cell. He's not yet regained consciousness." He smirked. "Pettigrew threw a remarkably strong hex at him."

"And that's another thing," Remus commented. "Why would Pettigrew hex Malfoy so viciously?"

Kate raised her head. "The Wizard's Debt." She leaned forward in her chair. "Kingsley, do we know where Jarvis is right now?"

Kingsley shook his head. "No, we have not been able to locate him. After hearing the theory you and Sirius came up with, I contacted Tonks right after we moved Malfoy to Holding; she's got a team watching Jarvis' home and office right now. So far, nothing. Kate, what is it?"

"What if the Polyjuice potion wasn't intended for Pettigrew's exclusive use? Remember, Voldemort extracted a Wizard's Debt from Jarvis, but both Malfoy and Pettigrew were critical pieces to the collection of that debt. We know that Pettigrew used the Polyjuice potion to appear at the Ministry as Sirius; the reason is murky. Perhaps Voldemort thought Malfoy would muck up getting the Prophesy from Harry and that Pettigrew, as Sirius, would be the back-up plan if he was proved right. Perhaps Pettigrew was supposed to lead Harry to Voldemort. Perhaps Bellatrix was supposed to kill Pettigrew as part of Voldemort's plan; we have no idea what the Dark Lord was thinking at this point. That information might not be as critical to us at the moment as figuring out how Malfoy escaped Azkaban," Kate mused. "Kingsley, has anyone looked in Malfoy's Azkaban cell?"

Kingsley shook his head. "Why?"

Kate smiled. "I'd bet my last Galleon that if you do, you will find Jarvis. Narcissa would certainly facilitate anything she needed to do to assist in her husband's escape. She could also have provided the necessary hair to make a supply of Polyjuice potion for Jarvis to take. I would also wager that he will be dead; if so, you should consider analyzing the Polyjuice potion from his body for the presence of poison."

"Acromantula venom," Remus murmured, smiling at Kate. "Katie, that's brilliant! Pettigrew's dead and, if you're correct, Voldemort's vendetta is complete with the subsequent murder of Jarvis, as well. And, Malfoy is no better off as he will now be returned to Azkaban to serve the remainder of his life sentence."

"Wait," Kingsley interjected. "Jarvis wouldn't have retained Malfoy's form once dead; Polyjuice doesn't allow the false shape to remain intact after death. You all saw Pettigrew begin to resume his own form immediately prior to falling through the Veil. How could Jarvis' presence in Malfoy's cell be explained?"

Kate shook her head. "It wouldn't matter if it even was explained, Kingsley. Look, Jarvis is Malfoy's attorney. He might have been visiting Malfoy to discuss financial arrangements for his services or, for that matter, to care for his family now that Malfoy would be incarcerated for the rest of his life. Malfoy could have overpowered Jarvis and killed him in a rage over his conviction. Malfoy could have used the Imperius curse on Jarvis before he was taken to Azkaban to begin his sentence. He could have conceived of and communicated the plan for his escape to Jarvis, setting in motion the events we have just described: from the brewing of the Polyjuice potion to Malfoy's escape. The end result remains the same: Malfoy is returned to prison. Voldemort couldn't have cared about anything else as long as that eventuality occurred. A very public punishment for Malfoy's many failures."

Dumbledore nodded. "Excellent theory. Kingsley, please contact Tonks and ask her to take the ferry out to Azkaban, will you? She should report back to us with her findings – and as quickly as possible."

Kingsley nodded and excused himself. When he returned, Albus spoke again. "We have an interesting dilemma to resolve, my friends. I have spoken at great length with Cornelius Fudge. Sirius, he saw your image change to Pettigrew tonight. He knows of – and now believes in your innocence."

Sirius' head came up slowly and his eyes locked on Dumbledore's kind, blue gaze. "I'm free?" he whispered, and Kate felt her throat constrict at the look of total disbelief on his face.

"You will be cleared – very publicly so," Dumbledore replied. "The timing of your freedom is a question that begs further scrutiny."

"What are you saying?" Sirius asked, his voice hoarse.

"I believe that a slight delay in fully disclosing tonight's events may be … prudent," the Headmaster replied.

"But, Albus, Voldemort knows that it was Pettigrew who went through the Veil. We cannot 'spring' Sirius on him to any benefit of our own," Remus protested, hating the thought of his friend's continued imprisonment now that he was about to be cleared and his name restored.

"Yes, yes, Remus, it's true that Voldemort knows the true identity of the man who was killed in the Department of Mysteries tonight. But it is my understanding that none of his followers have been so advised," Dumbledore said. When there was no response from Sirius, Dumbledore continued. "Sirius, I am not saying that we will withhold your freedom; I am merely saying that I would like to wait until Malfoy is questioned and Kate's suspicions regarding Jarvis are confirmed before we move to do so. Certainly, you can bear with us until then."

Remus was indignant on his friend's behalf. "With all due respect, Albus, I don't think it's appropriate for anyone but Sirius to make that decision. It is his life, after all – no matter how little of it he's been allowed to control."

Sirius looked gratefully at his oldest friend, but when he turned back to Dumbledore, his face was hard. "It has become painfully apparent to me, particularly given certain events that occurred earlier this evening, that I have absolutely no say in any part of my own life. Certainly, that will not change, despite any opinion or, Merlin forbid, decision that I may voice. I believe that I have but one choice: agree with you, or face significant opposition; including, as I well know, physical restraint. Let's not waste any more time here, shall we? I'll just agree with you now and you can be on your way." With that, Sirius rose and left the room.

Remus moved to follow him, but Kate leaned over and put her hand on his arm. "No, Remus. You heard him; this is as much about what I did to him as it is about anything Albus has asked. I'll go." She turned to the others who had remained seated. "Excuse me." And she, too, made her way to the door.

XXXXXXXX

Kate slowly ascended the staircase leading to Sirius' bedroom. When she reached the landing, she was shocked to see him exiting her own room. In his hand, he held what Kate recognized to be the larger of the suitcases she had brought with her when she first moved to Grimmauld Place. Her eyes widened as Sirius approached her and held out the suitcase. "Here," he said, his eyes cold and his expression hard.

Kate could have sworn she felt her heart stop. "Sirius, what are you suggesting?" she finally choked out.

"I'm 'suggesting' nothing. I've just handed you the rest of your belongings. Now, I'm asking you to leave. I believe you can find your own way out," he replied, his voice low and his face unchanged.

Kate's vision blurred and she reached out to him with her free hand. "Sirius, please," she whispered.

He shook his head and stepped backward to avoid her touch. In her own despair, Kate missed the heartbreak on Sirius' face as he made his way around her and walked down to his own room. She also missed the pained look he gave her as he opened his door. Kate waited until she heard the door click closed and then she walked slowly down the stairs and slipped out of the front door, unnoticed by anyone.


	70. Revelations and Decisions

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Sirius sat on the window seat and looked out onto the street. His breath caught as he saw Kate step slowly onto the sidewalk. Her face was pale, her expression somewhat dazed and her first few steps seemed tentative as if she was unsteady. After a pause to collect herself, Kate squared her shoulders and began to walk away; away from Grimmauld Place – and from him – exactly as Sirius had intended. He dropped the heavy curtain back in place over the window then passed his hands over his face. His anger at Kate's actions far outweighed the pain he had experienced watching her go. Never once had he envisioned her hexing him to keep him from Harry; to keep him imprisoned here. Never. Sirius exhaled sharply. Despite everything they had been through and conquered, last night was more than he could handle. She had well and truly betrayed him this time; there was no eavesdropping outside a door for him to misunderstand, no golden ring to stand between them. Kate, the woman he loved beyond all reason, had faced him, paralyzed him and left him – to go and fight side by side with their Godson while he remained behind. There was no excuse in the world that could make him listen; no explanation that could come from her lips that would allow him to forgive. Sirius stood and walked over to the fireplace, murmuring Incendio to light the stacked wood and dispel the chill in the room. Despite his proximity to the blazing heat that resulted, Sirius could not get warm.

He turned and began to take stock of the room and the rest of the evening's conversation came back to him. If Dumbledore lived up to his promise, Sirius would soon be cleared and, no matter what or how long it took, he would be free. Sirius took a deep breath. Freedom. Unfettered, uncompromised freedom. To go where he chose, when he chose with whomever he … Sirius stopped; that last part was no longer true. The dreams he'd had of a life with Kate – marriage, children – were no longer intact. He swallowed the sob that threatened to escape from his throat. No! This is not regret, Sirius told himself. This is simply the natural feeling of grief for a dream long held but now lost. I will move beyond it; I will build a life with Harry. We will be a family.

"Padfoot?" Remus voice came from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Sirius crossed the room and opened it, stepping backward to allow his friend to enter.

Remus did so, looking around the room before turning back to Sirius with a quizzical expression on his face. "Kate's not with you?"

Sirius shook his head. "No, Kate is decidedly not with me," he confirmed.

Remus looked at him. "She went back to the Annex?"

Sirius shrugged. "I've no idea," he said. "She left; that's all I know."

Remus walked over to the other wizard, his expression now one of concern. "Sirius, what have you done?"

Sirius' face became indignant. "What have I done? Tell, me Remus, why is it always assumed that I am responsible for everything that happens that gives people pause?"

"Because she wouldn't have left on her own, Sirius, and you know it, don't you?" Remus sounded tired. "You've allowed your temper and rage to overcome logic and reason, haven't you? You asked her to leave."

Sirius nodded, breaking eye contact with his friend. "I did. It's over."

Remus drew a deep breath. "Sirius, I really…."

"I said it's over!"

Remus took a step backward in the face of his friend's anger. "Alright, Sirius, I'll just drop it," he moved toward the bedroom door. "I came up here because Kingsley has Tonks' report; Dumbledore wanted both you and Kate to come back downstairs to hear what he has to say."

Sirius nodded. "I'll come with you, then."

Remus held the door for the other wizard. "Sirius," Remus put a hand on Sirius' arm as he passed. "Do not expect Dumbledore to back down as easily as I just did."

Sirius looked at him. "I wouldn't expect that he would."

XXXXXXXX

Kate clutched her suitcase in her hand and slowly made her way down the block from Grimmauld Place. She was only dimly aware of her surroundings as her mind struggled to process what had just happened with Sirius. I'm asking you to leave. His voice rang in her ears and the image of him shaking his head and moving away from her would not leave Kate's mind.

It was over.

As those words rang in her head, Kate knew her heart did not recognize them. Perhaps it never would. A dog barking in the distance pulled Kate back to the dimly lit street. She knew it wasn't safe to be out here alone. She quickened her pace, looking around her until her eyes located the side alleyway the Order generally used for Apparition. Kate entered the alley and pulled herself together. Focusing on the Great Room in the Annex, she closed her eyes and turned on her heel. A moment later, she was standing behind the overstuffed sofa, looking in to the blue eyes of Molly Selkirk.

"Kate!" the older woman said sharply. "Dear girl, what is it?"

"Where are the children?" came the whispered reply.

"They are in bed," Molly rose. "Come, child, sit down."

Kate's face crumpled and the suitcase slipped from her fingers and thumped on the thick carpet on which it landed. "Molly," she murmured, sobs beginning to wrack her shoulders.

Molly moved quickly around the sofa and put her arms around the sobbing witch. "Come, sweet. Let's sit down," she said again and this time successfully led Kate to the sofa. She enfolded Kate in her arms and allowed her to cry until she had gotten it out of her system and was reduced to gentle hitches in her breathing.

Kate squeezed Molly's shoulders gently before drawing back and settling against the cushions. "You know the truth of tonight, I gather? Dumbledore told you all that happened?" Kate spoke in a whisper, not wishing to wake Harry.

Molly nodded, her voice matching that of the other witch. "The truth vs. what that poor child knows?" At Kate's nod, Molly continued. "Yes, dearest, I know. That would mean that these tears are not grief over Sirius' death."

Kate felt her throat tighten at Molly's words and, unable to speak, shook her head.

Molly waited for the other woman to compose herself, stroking her hand softly as she did so.

Finally, Kate spoke. "Sirius asked me to leave Grimmauld Place. He packed the rest of my things in my suitcase and told me to show myself out."

Molly's face registered her shock. "And what precipitated this decision?"

Kate sighed shakily then proceeded to tell Molly about Sirius' desire to join Harry and what she had done to prohibit him doing so. When she was finished, Molly was silent for quite some time. As Kate waited for her to speak, she closed her irritated and reddened eyes and allowed her head to drop back on the sofa cushion. After awhile, Molly's soft voice reached her ears.

"The ghosts that haunt Sirius are particularly cruel. They pop into his mind when he least expects them, trespass on this dreams at night and, overall, can undermine his rational thoughts and behavior. Add fear for those he loves and his own impotence in protecting them and he will behave most irrationally when crossed," Molly reached over and brushed Kate's hair back from her face. "You did what you thought was needed to keep him from being hurt, recaptured or killed. You did it because he didn't care if any of those things happened to him. Sirius didn't think – nor would he likely believe – that if he'd been killed or Kissed or hurt, it would be worse than death to Harry – and to you."

Kate opened her eyes and turned her head to look at Molly. "I know. Was I selfish? Should I have stayed out of it and just allowed things to happen without interfering?"

Molly shrugged. "How can we know? As I understand it, if you had left Sirius able to join Harry in battle, he would have met himself there."

Kate nodded. "Yes. Pettigrew showed up in Sirius' form. Polyjuice potion."

"Mm. That would have proved confusing, wouldn't it?" Molly paused, considering her next words. "Kate, Sirius has had so little control over his own life. From the time he was a small child through to this very moment, he was subject to what everyone else dictated to him. I think he's always seen you as an ally, someone who wouldn't force him to do anything he didn't want to do. He was bound to react strongly when that proved – in his mind – to be untrue."

"You think he was right?" Kate asked, dejectedly.

"Yes, I think he was right to want to help protect his Godson," Molly said. "But I also think that you were right in wanting to protect him. I believe that this is one situation in which both parties were right; and in which there are no winners as a result."

Kate sighed. "No, there are clearly no winners here. Oh, Molly; I expected his rage, truly I did. I expected him to shut me out for awhile, perhaps a long while, until he'd worked off enough of his initial anger to let me in again. We'd talked about this often enough and I was very straightforward with Sirius when I told him that I would do everything in my power to stop him marching into battle with Harry."

"I'm sure you were, dear. I'm equally sure that Sirius never thought for a moment that when you said "everything in your power", you meant the Full Body Bind," Molly said. "And, I'll admit, I never for a moment expected to ever see you come into this room and tell me that Sirius had packed your things and asked you to leave him."

"Nor did I," Kate replied, sadly.

"You know that Sirius reacts first and thinks later. I saw that for myself while you were ill and the two of you were staying here," Molly said, patting Kate's hand. "He'll come around, sweet; you'll see."

Although privately Kate thought Molly very wrong indeed, she smiled and nodded. She was about to say something else when the fire flashed green and Remus' face appeared in the hearth.

"Remus?" Kate walked over to the hearth and knelt before it.

"Kate. I'm glad I found you. May I come through?" Remus asked.

"Of course," Kate rose and took a few steps backward. A moment later, she was being pulled into a tight hug by a very relieved looking werewolf.

"Alright?" Remus asked, leaning back and studying her face for a moment.

She shook her head. "Not particularly, but there's little you can do to fix that, is there? What brings you out?"

Remus looked over at Molly and smiled. "Good evening, Molly. I'm sorry to disturb you so late."

Molly stood and dismissed his comment with a wave of her hand. "You're not disturbing me in the least. Obviously, you've got things to discuss; and I should have been in bed long ago." She patted Remus' arm. "Good night, dear."

Turning to Kate, she gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Try to rest, sweet. You can't cure a thing through worry."

Kate nodded and watched as Molly went into her room and closed the door.

"Let's sit," Remus suggested, cupping her elbow.

Once they were settled, he reached over and took Kate's hand. "I'm sorry about what happened between you and Sirius, Kate," he said sincerely.

"I appreciate that, Remus, truly I do. There doesn't appear to be much I can do to resolve it, however. I suspect you already know that; so tell me, what's brought you here so late?" Kate asked her friend, smiling sadly.

"I'll let the Sirius bit go for now, then," he said. "Tonks reported back shortly after you left. You were right, Jarvis is dead; found in Malfoy's cell. Initial reports from the Examiners at Mungo's indicate the presence of Acromantula venom in his blood. Severus has gotten a sample of his blood from Tonks; he'll do a comparison to the venom found in Spear and we'll be able to confirm it, but we feel it's probably the same."

"Is Malfoy conscious yet?" Kate asked.

"Yes. Dumbledore has spoken with Fudge and Kingsley will question him in about thirty minutes – in one of the Ministry interrogation rooms. Tonks feels that Malfoy has a pretty fair idea of the whole plan – including Pettigrew's masquerade as Sirius. They've invited you and me to watch from the observation area," Remus replied. "Are you game?"

Kate lifted her chin. "I wouldn't miss this for the world." She paused for a moment. "I'm going to assume that Sirius won't be joining us."

Remus shook his head. "No, he won't. But the results of the interrogation will decide the question of his immediate freedom."

Kate nodded. "I'll just go change quickly and let Molly know what's going on. I won't be a moment."

Kate was true to her word and a scant ten minutes later, with Remus close behind her, she stepped into the Atrium of the Ministry for the second time that night.

XXXXXXXX

As Kate and Remus settled into their seats in the observation area, Kate couldn't help but remember the last time she was there. It seemed so long ago now, almost another lifetime, really. It was hard to believe that so much had happened between then and now. Pettigrew was dead, but at least he had not died before the Minister of Magic had seen him. Sirius was to be declared innocent of all charges against him and, hopefully, his freedom would also be restored.

Shortly after they were settled, Dumbledore, Fudge and Tonks joined them. The door opened in the room beyond them and Dawlish escorted Malfoy to his seat; Kingsley followed. He withdrew the anticipated vial of Veritaserum and approached Malfoy.

"I'm going to place three drops on your tongue, Mr. Malfoy. Once I'm convinced it's taken effect, we'll begin. Please open your mouth," Kingsley said the scene eerily reminiscent of an earlier interrogation.

With a malevolent look, Malfoy complied. After a few moments, Kingsley began.

"Is your name Lucius Malfoy?"

"It is."

"Were you present in the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry of Magic earlier this evening?"

"Yes."

"What were you doing there?"

"I was engaged in a battle."

"How did you come to be in the Ministry this evening when you were incarcerated at Azkaban Prison?"

"I escaped."

Kingsley gave Malfoy a piercing look. "Let's be a bit more specific in our answers, Mr. Malfoy. How – and why did you escape?"

Malfoy's face had begun to redden. It was apparent to all present that he was struggling mightily against the effects of the Veritaserum.

"My former solicitor, Llewellyn Jarvis, came to my cell in Azkaban prior to my appearance at the Ministry. He had with him two flasks of Polyjuice potion. I gave him several strands of my hair which he added to his potion. He gave me several strands of his hair and I added it to the second flask. He drank the first dosage and, as a result, took my form. I did the same, and took his. I left Azkaban on the ferry, disguised as Jarvis, and went to the Ministry," Malfoy answered.

"Why did you do this?"

"I was directed to do so by … the …Dark…Lord," Malfoy was clearly struggling not to implicate Voldemort in his answer.

"Why were you chosen for this mission? Voldemort has many loyal followers and you were already in prison."

"I displeased the Dark Lord. My solicitor did, as well. I was chosen to lead this particular battle to redeem myself."

"What was your purpose in participating in the battle?" Kingsley asked.

"I was to take possession of the Prophesy made about Harry Potter and bring it to the Dark Lord."

"And did you do so?"

Malfoy gave Kingsley a withering look. "You are well aware that I did not."

"Why did you not capture the Prophesy?"

"Sirius Black arrived and struck me. I fell and the Prophesy was smashed against the rock floor."

"Did you retaliate against Black?"

"We dueled. He was able to cast a very lucky hex and I was rendered unconscious." Malfoy's face was livid, but the Veritaserum would not allow him any respite.

"But, it wasn't really Sirius Black, was it?"

"No."

"Who was disguised as Black?"

"Peter Pettigrew."

"How could that be? Peter Pettigrew was killed many years ago in a confrontation with Black, was he not?"

"That was the popular misconception, yes. He was an Animagus, however, and transformed into a rat and escaped prior to exploding the street and causing the deaths of 13 Muggles who were present at the time," Malfoy detailed.

"Was Pettigrew affiliated with Voldemort at that time?"

"Yes. He had taken the Mark just after graduation from Hogwarts," Malfoy testified.

In the observation room, Remus and Kate both gasped at the last statement from Malfoy. While the fact that Peter was a Death Eater was not new to them, hearing the timing of his defection, however, was a shock.

"So, Sirius Black did not kill 13 Muggles or the wizard known as Peter Pettigrew as he was accused of doing?"

"No, he did not."

"Did Sirius Black betray James and Lily Potter to Voldemort?"

Remus and Kate both leaned forward as they waited for his answer.

"No, he did not."

"Who did?"

"Pettigrew."

"And who brought Voldemort to the Potters?"

"Pettigrew."

"Who actually cast the Killing Curse that ended their lives?"

"The Dark Lord killed them both. Pettigrew was there and witnessed it. He had accompanied our Master to Godric's Hollow that night. He was responsible for taking what was left of the Dark Lord to a safer place before disappearing himself. Once he'd relocated our Master, he went to London to see what had become of the Potter child. Before he could do so, however, he encountered Black and the rest, as they say, is history."

Kate put her face in her hands. There it was. She certainly had not expected Kingsley to take Malfoy down this road with his questioning, but she was so grateful that he had. She glanced at Remus, whom she could see was feeling the same way she was. Giving him a smile, she turned to where Fudge was sitting. His face was red but despite his embarrassment, his expression was resolute.

"That should be all you need to hear, Cornelius," Dumbledore spoke quietly, but his voice was firm.

Fudge nodded. "It would appear that a great many people were wrong about Black, myself included."

"Kingsley's starting in again," Tonks interjected.

"Why did Pettigrew appear as Black in the Department of Mysteries tonight?"

"He was ordered to do so by the Dark Lord," Malfoy answered.

"Why? What was he told to do?"

"Pettigrew was a nuisance to the Dark Lord. As a result of that business in the Shrieking Shack when he was forced to reveal himself to Black and the werewolf, Lupin, Pettigrew incurred a Life Debt to Potter. When Potter stopped Black and Lupin from killing him, the Debt was sealed. When the Dark Lord discovered it, Pettigrew became a marked wizard; such a Debt between Potter and such a weakling as Pettigrew could only end badly for our Master. The Dark Lord kept Pettigrew around long enough to facilitate his return to a corporeal form. Once that happened, the Dark Lord merely waited for an opportune moment to eliminate him."

"Why have Pettigrew appear as Black? Why not have him participate in the Ministry battle garbed in his true role – that of Death Eater?"

"The Dark Lord knew that this would be the perfect time to capture and destroy the Prophesy and to finally rid himself of Potter, if that proved possible. He was concerned that any of us could thwart that goal and so he built in several layers to ensure his plan would be successful. If I failed to capture the Prophesy, Pettigrew, as Black, would be able to take Potter without injury and deliver him to the Dark Lord," Malfoy explained.

"That was what Pettigrew was told he would be doing?"

"Yes."

"But Voldemort must have known that the Order would arrive to protect Harry," Kingsley asked.

"He not only knew, he counted on it. There were enough of us in the room who wanted to see Black dead. For the Dark Lord, it was a matter of two birds with one stone. Pettigrew with his Wizard Debt was a huge liability. Black was Potter's Godfather and killing him would only serve to weaken the boy, thereby improving the Dark Lord's chances to defeat him. Disguise Pettigrew as Black and put him in a room with us and potential representation from the MLE and the chance that Black/Pettigrew would survive the evening were slim," Malfoy smirked. "Brilliant plan, really."

"Did you know that Jarvis is dead?"

Malfoy's face paled. "No. He was alive when I left him."

"Apparently, his Polyjuice potion wasn't made with as much care as was your own. He was poisoned," Kingsley shared. "Doesn't look good for you, mate."

"That's preposterous," Malfoy spluttered. "Why would I want him killed?"

"He lost your case for you, attempted to kill one of the lead witnesses on your behalf. Either of those would be reason enough for most wizards. Then he goes all the way out to Azkaban prison to visit with you and you escape while he ends up dead. I'm just saying that most people on the Wizengamot might not be inclined to see this as a coincidence," Kingsley smiled. "Pettigrew – dead; Jarvis – dead; Malfoy – life sentence in Azkaban. Seems to me as if your Master managed to rid himself of several rather large liabilities. 'Brilliant plan', indeed."

"Cornelius, I believe that answers all the open questions, does it not?" Dumbledore turned to the Minister.

"All save one," Fudge confirmed. "The identity of the brewer of the Polyjuice potion. Whoever brewed Jarvis' potion is responsible for his murder, after all."

Dumbledore shrugged. "Does it really matter, Cornelius? It was, undoubtedly, one of Voldemort's followers; as I recall, Tom Riddle, himself, was extremely adept at potions in his time at school. Perhaps just this one time, we could simply be grateful for the truths that have been revealed and just let it go at that. If there are other parties involved, our continuing efforts to stop Voldemort will surely reveal them for who and what they are, yes?"

Fudge looked at Dumbledore for a moment, and then smiled. "Yes, yes, of course. After all, we have cleared the name of an innocent man and discovered the truth about a terrible injustice. That should be enough to be going on with. The rest will come." He rose from his chair. "Tomorrow, I will make the official announcement of Black's innocence and publicly clear his name. I assume that I will be announcing Pettigrew's death, as well?"

Kate and Remus held their breaths until Dumbledore answered.

"Yes, Cornelius. I think it's time that Mr. Black finally had his life back," the Headmaster responded with a smile.

"Excellent, excellent!" Fudge exclaimed, heading for the exit. "Oh – shall I plan for Black to be present for the announcement?"

Dumbledore's gaze swept over Kate and Remus for a moment before he responded. Seeing Remus' head shake he responded, "I would imagine not. I think Mr. Black will need a bit of time – and privacy – to adjust to his freedom. I would suggest that the Ministry just let him be."

Fudge nodded. "Agreed. I must go."

After Fudge had left, Kate turned to Dumbledore. "We're virtually certain that Narcissa Malfoy brewed the potion. Why would we not want the Ministry to investigate her involvement in Jarvis' murder?"

Dumbledore smiled gently. "Young Draco Malfoy has lost his father to prison; should he also lose his mother? We are uncertain that she had anything to do with Jarvis' death; it could easily have been Malfoy who added the Acromantula venom. He did it before, after all."

Kate nodded. "You're right. Draco deserves the presence of at least one parent."

"It's the best decision to be made in the circumstances," Remus agreed. He glanced at his watch. "It's nearly dawn. We should return to Headquarters; Sirius should hear the results of the interrogation from us rather than by listening to the Wizard Wireless, yes?"

"Indeed," Dumbledore replied. "Kate, I think you should come with us. What happened between you and Sirius earlier was, undoubtedly, a response provoked by the heat of a very awkward moment. This moment, however, is something the two of you have waited a very long time to arrive. I'm sure that he would want you there to share the news with him."

Kate's eyes filled as she shook her head. "That's kind of you, Albus, but I believe that you're very wrong. Sirius packed my things and handed them to me. He asked me to leave. I firmly believe that I am the last person he wants to see. No," she held her hand up to prevent the words that Dumbledore was obviously preparing to say. "I need to speak with someone here at the Ministry and then I have a breakfast date with my Godson." She gave Remus a quick hug and patted Dumbledore's arm as she made her way to the door. "I'll see you both later."

XXXXXXXX

Kate caught Kingsley as he was walking back toward his office. "Kingsley, may I have a word?"

The tall man nodded. "Of course, Kate. What can I do for you?"

Kate sat in her customary chair before Kingsley's desk and cast a Silencing charm as Kingsley settled himself. "I'd like to arrange for a transfer – somewhere close enough that I can see Harry and still help the Order, but not in or near London. Perhaps a training assignment. I know that you can make this happen, Kingsley, so please don't try to convince me otherwise – and please don't try to convince me to stay. It won't work."

Kingsley leaned forward and clasped his hands on top of his desk. "Yes, I can make it happen. In fact, there's an Auror training position open in the Irish Ministry office in Dublin. Ireland's not so very far away that you can't still see Harry. Would that do?"

Kate nodded, relieved that it had worked out so well. "How soon can I start?"

Kingsley shook his head. "Even though I think you're doing the absolute wrong thing?"

"Even though you think I'm doing the absolute wrong thing."

"The position is open now and there's a new set of recruits due to arrive next week," Kingsley advised her. "I could send the Ministry the paperwork later this morning and you could leave today, if you wished. I can arrange for their Ministry to engage a real estate agent on your behalf. You can meet with them later today if you'd like and find somewhere to live."

"Thank you, Kingsley. I appreciate it," Kate responded softly. "I'm having breakfast with Harry and then I'll touch base with you for the name." She rose and terminated the Silencing charm.

"Katie, is there anything I can say to change your mind? You're an important part of our team here in London. I hate like hell to lose you," Kingsley said to her, regret in his voice.

"You're not losing me, Kings," Kate assured him. "I'll be coming around to see Harry, after all and I'm still a member of the Order. You'll hardly miss me."

"Does Dumbledore know of your decision?"

Kate felt her cheeks flush. "No, not yet. I'll tell him before I leave, though."

"And Sirius?"

"Trust me, Kingsley; he won't care," Kate replied sadly. She looked at her watch. "I have to go. I don't want to keep Harry waiting." And she was gone.

Kingsley looked at the doorway through which Kate had just disappeared for a moment longer before reaching for quill and parchment to write the necessary letters.


	71. Freedom

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Sirius paced in front of the fireplace in the parlor at Grimmauld Place. He had been pacing off and on since Remus had left Headquarters earlier that night. He had no idea what Malfoy's interrogation would reveal, but Sirius did know that Tonks' report had put him potentially closer to the freedom he had craved for well over a decade. He shivered suddenly, despite the presence of a blazing fire in the hearth. This was the closest he had been to clearing his name since that fateful night in the Shack and, thinking of that failure, Sirius could not help but think that this attempt, too, would be unsuccessful.

"Sirius," Remus' voice greeted him from the doorway. Sirius turned to find that his friend was alone.

"Dumbledore didn't come back with you?" Sirius asked, suddenly wanting to delay whatever Remus had to say to him.

"No, actually, he did not. He wanted to get back to the school. Umbridge is gone, you see, and Albus has been reinstated as the Headmaster," Remus replied, walking over to his friend.

Sirius looked away from Remus' face, but Remus would have none of it. He reached out and lifted Sirius' chin until he looked him in the eye. "You're free, Padfoot. Malfoy's statement included Pettigrew's culpability for James and Lily; for the deaths of those 13 Muggles and for framing you for all of it. Tonight, Pettigrew posed as Sirius Black to deliver Harry to Voldemort in the Atrium after the Death Eaters killed the other students. Malfoy said all of this to Kingsley, while Fudge, Dumbledore, Tonks, Kate and I watched from the observation room. Fudge is going to make a public announcement later today; it will clear you of everything and restore your name. Sirius," Remus paused and reached out to his friend, taking him by the shoulders and gripping him tightly. "Sirius, you are free, old friend. Free!"

Sirius stood for a moment, looking at the other man before he gasped softly and tears began to stream down his face. "It's really happened, then," he whispered. "Finally, the truth has come out. I really am free."

Remus laughed out loud and hugged his oldest friend tightly. "Yes, Padfoot; you are really free!"

They stood for a moment, then Remus let go of Sirius and took a step backward. "I think this might call for a drink, don't you?"

Sirius wiped his face on his sleeve roughly then smiled. "Perhaps just a small one, then. I want to go to Harry and it would hardly do to show up pissed to the gills!"

Remus laughed again, then retrieved a bottle of Firewhiskey and two shot glasses. He poured a measure into each and handed one to Sirius. "Cheers, old friend," he said, raising his glass toward Sirius, who mirrored his actions with a matching smile. After they'd both tossed back the amber liquid, they placed the glasses on the mantle.

"Thank you, Mooney – for everything. You've been more brother to me than my own ever was and I love you for it. I don't suppose any wizard ever had a better friend," Sirius said quietly.

Remus smiled. "I love you, too, Pads. We've certainly been through it all, haven't we? And here we are."

"Here we are," Sirius echoed. "Not quite the way I'd envisioned it would be if I was ever cleared," he added.

"You're thinking of Kate," it wasn't a question.

Sirius glanced at the other man briefly before answering. "Yes. I always pictured her beside me when it happened; that we would finally be able to have a life together. Of course, that won't happen now. Harry and I can be a proper family, though and, speaking of my Godson, I think I'll shower and change and head over to see him."

"Sirius, wait," Remus put out a hand to stop him. "First of all, Kate is having breakfast with Harry this morning. You may want to keep that in mind before you Floo over there. Secondly, Harry thinks you died last night. Dumbledore planned to have both you and Kate go to the Annex today so he could be told the truth."

Sirius' face tightened. "I don't want to see Kate. I'll go when they're finished."

"Sirius, I'm going to ask you to think about something. If you wait until Kate's gone to walk in on Harry, he will think that Kate deliberately allowed him to suffer last night without telling him the truth. That's a horrible thing to do to both of them. Can't you put this foolishness about Kate to one side for Harry's sake?"

"Why would Kate have had the opportunity to tell Harry anything?" Sirius asked him, derisively, ignoring all but Remus' original comment. "Didn't you say that she was at the Ministry during Malfoy's questioning?"

Remus frowned. "Yes, but when she left here, she went to the Annex. That's where I found her when Albus asked me to bring her to the interrogation room. Really, Sirius, where else was she to go?"

Sirius shook his head. "Alright, Remus. I'll head over there in an hour or so. That should give Kate ample time with the boy and it will allow her to be there when Harry discovers that I'm alive. She can answer whatever questions he has of her then. Is that fair?"

Remus nodded with a sigh. "Sirius, is there anything I can say to make you reconsider what you've decided about Kate and your relationship with her?"

"Nothing," came the firm reply as Sirius rose and headed toward the doors. "Really, Remus, Kate did the one thing I never thought she would do: she used magic to keep me from Harry. She hexed me, Remus, and then she left me here. I can't get over that. Don't expect me to."

"Do you love her?" Remus decided to make one last attempt to reach his friend before he let him go.

Sirius stopped and turned back toward Remus. "That has no bearing on this."

"Oh, I believe it does. Just because you've made the decision to live without her doesn't mean you have no feelings for her," Remus rationalized. "Do you love her?"

Sirius frowned at the werewolf then turned and left the room.

XXXXXXXX

Kate arrived back at the Annex and went directly to her room. She gathered all of her belongings from that room and added it to the suitcase Sirius had packed and handed her and shrunk it to fit in her pocket. Kate then had just enough time to shower and dress and still be on time to have breakfast with Harry. She would need to tell him about her transfer, but would promise to come and see him as often as possible. Kate would also work very hard to have Harry come to Dublin for at least a portion of his summer holidays. She could only hope that it would be enough.

When she arrived in the kitchen, Kate was surprised to see Harry already there. He gave her a small smile and gestured over to the counter. "I made coffee," he said. "Not sure how much you'll like it, but it's hot and it smells like coffee, anyway."

Kate squeezed his shoulder as she walked by his chair. "It will be delicious, I'm sure. I haven't had a great deal of sleep, so as long as it has plenty of caffeine, it will be fine." One she'd fixed her coffee Kate brought her mug to the table and sat down opposite Harry. "Were you able to get any sleep?"

He shrugged. "A little. Ron snores."

Kate smiled. "Ah, well that would get in the way, wouldn't it? Interested in some breakfast, then?"

Harry nodded. "Sure. What are we having?"

"How about scrambled eggs and toast? I believe I can handle that much at this hour," Kate told him. "I'll cook; you set the table. Deal?"

"Deal," Harry smiled back at her.

Soon, they were seated with their meal. Although there wasn't a great deal of conversation, the atmosphere was comfortable. When they finished and Kate had poured herself a second cup of coffee, she decided that the time had come to share her news with Harry.

"Listen, I have something to tell you," she began. "I've been given a temporary assignment in Dublin. I'll be training their Aurors."

Harry looked at her in surprise. "How long will you be gone?"

"I'm not sure," Kate said, honestly. "Through the summer, anyway. I'm hoping Dumbledore will allow you to come and stay with me at least for part of your holidays."

Harry nodded, but his face was sad. "When do you leave?"

"I'm going to meet with a real estate agent later today to see about a flat. I won't officially start until next week," she explained.

"I wish you weren't going," Harry admitted. "I've only just found you and now I'm losing you, too."

"Oh, Harry, you're not losing me. I'm just a Floo call away; and I can be here in a matter of moments if you need me," Kate told him, reaching over and covering his hand with her own. "I promise you, I will not stay away from you. I promise."

Harry nodded and squeezed her hand. "I know."

"Good morning," Dumbledore's voice reached them from the kitchen doorway. "I hope I'm not interrupting you."

"No, not at all, Albus," Kate said. "What can we do for you?" Sirius, she thought. It was more than time that the boy learned the truth.

"Harry, we have something to share with you that will undoubtedly be a bit of a shock," Dumbledore stated.

"Professor, I don't under…" Harry began, but stopped as his gaze shifted to a point just above Dumbledore's shoulder. His eyes filled. "Sirius," he whispered.

Sirius stepped into the room and, suddenly, Harry was in his arms sobbing, large sections of Sirius' robes caught in his fists. Sirius rocked him back and forth, rubbing circles on his back. "Shh," he murmured to the boy. "It's alright. I'm here."

"But I saw you die," Harry choked out. "How can you be here?"

"Come, let's sit down and we'll explain it all to you," Sirius said, leading Harry back to the table and taking a seat next to him. He never even looked at Kate.

It took less than thirty minutes for Dumbledore to explain the events in the Department of Mysteries and Malfoy's subsequent revelations during his interrogation. Harry listened raptly, smiling at the end. "You're free," he said to Sirius happily. "Finally, you're free!"

Sirius nodded. "Yes, Harry. Finally."

Kate watched the interaction between Sirius and Harry and felt sad to think that she would not be part of their lives going forward. Oh, she and Harry would get together, but she was willing to bet that Sirius would never agree to be a part of it. Suddenly, she felt as if the walls were closing in on her. "Harry, I've got to go or I'll be late," she said.

The boy nodded and stood up. Kate came around the table and embraced her Godson tightly. "Remember that I am never far away from you, yes?" Kate felt him nod against her shoulder. "And always, always know how very much I love you." Kate's throat threatened to close completely and her vision blurred. Harry picked up his head and looked at her. "I love you, Kate, but I'll see you." She nodded.

"I'd best be going. Take care of yourself," Kate said to Harry. Turning toward the doorway, she caught Dumbledore's eye. "Albus," she acknowledged him and then strode purposefully toward the door.

Harry looked after Kate then at Sirius. When the boy saw the anger on Sirius' face, he spoke up. "Sirius, what's wrong? Why are you angry?"

Sirius tried to clear his expression, but it was too late – and he knew it.

'Sirius, talk to me," Harry continued.

"Sit down, Harry. It's rather a long story," Sirius finally spoke.

When they were seated, Sirius began, "Harry, Kate and I are no longer together. That doesn't have any impact on you at all; it's between us. She's still your Godmother and I'm still your Godfather. We don't have to be together to fulfill those roles."

"Sirius, go on," Harry insisted and the older wizard complied. Harry's eyes grew wide as Sirius told him about the ongoing argument he'd had with Kate about going to help Harry in battle.

"In the end, when Snape came to Grimmauld Place to tell Kate what had happened to you, I tried to come to the Ministry to help. She hexed me and left me in a corner of the parlor." Sirius told the boy. "How could I forgive that?"

Harry stared incredulously at his Godfather for several moments. "Sirius! Thank Merlin Kate hexed you! Imagine what would have happened if you'd shown up! The fact that Voldemort wanted Pettigrew dead and ordered him to take Polyjuice potion to look like you doesn't tell you anything?"

"Harry, I…" Sirius began, but Harry had warmed to his subject and wouldn't allow him to say anything further.

"Sirius, we saw what would have happened if you'd shown up: you'd have been killed! You were killed, as far as I was concerned! Voldemort was so sure that all the right people were in place to do his dirty work for him. He wanted Pettigrew to die and he was willing to use both Ministry employees and his own Death Eaters to do it!" Harry stopped to catch his breath and Sirius saw an opening to try again.

"Harry, please, let me…."

"NO!" the teenager leapt from his chair and stood before his Godfather, his posture so like Sirius' own when he was enraged: shoulders back, arms by his sides, hands clenching and unclenching. "No! You don't get to talk; it's my turn. Sirius, do you even know what I did after I thought you went through the Veil? No? I started to go after you. That's right – I started to walk through the Veil, convinced that I could reach you and grab you back. I knew Bellatrix had cast the Killing Curse; I watched you die, but I somehow thought I could ignore all of that and bring you back. Do you know why I didn't keep going? Remus. He grabbed me and held on so I couldn't move. He saved me! But did I just stop and accept it? NO! I broke away from him and I went after Bellatrix! Bellatrix, Sirius! The witch who had just killed you. Do you know what I did to catch up to her? No? I cast Crucio, Sirius! Like a Death Eater would have done! Like she did! I was so out of my mind with the thought that you were gone that I never once thought about myself. Do you know who was waiting for me in the Atrium, Sirius? Voldemort! And if Dumbledore hadn't come after me and taken him on, I would have died!" Harry was crying now, his breath coming in shallow pants and he wiped his nose on his sleeve as he stared his Godfather down.

Tears slid down Sirius' cheeks as he both listened to and watched his Godson suffer through the retelling of the battle. He reached out to Harry in an attempt to comfort him and was horrified when the boy batted his hand away. "No! I'm not finished," he said, but he seemed a bit more in control and sat down in his chair, facing the older wizard.

"Are you angry with Remus for stopping me from going after you?" Harry asked.

Sirius looked surprised at the question but answered it after a moment. "No, of course not, Harry! How can you…."

"Are you angry with Dumbledore for coming after me and saving me from Voldemort?"

"No."

"No," Harry echoed. "Yet, you're furious with Kate for doing the same thing that they did. I don't know, but it doesn't sound fair to me."

Sirius shook his head. "It's not the same thing, Harry! You don't understand!"

"I think it is, Sirius. You didn't listen to her when she tried to reason with you. You keep hanging on to this stupid idea that you're responsible for my parents' deaths – and for me growing up as I did. I don't know what else to say to convince you that I don't believe that you are! You think that you have to protect me by physically being present when I'm in danger. Well, Sirius, guess what? Until Voldemort's dead, I'm in danger all the time. But, you can't be with me in school. You can't be with me when I'm at my aunt and uncle's house. I need you alive, Sirius! You're my family. You and Kate. Every fight takes me closer to having a normal life. But I won't have that if you keep making stupid decisions, Sirius! Kate knows that! Why don't you?"

"Kate fought with you!" Sirius protested. "Kate put herself in danger!'

Harry rolled his eyes and clenched his fists in his lap. "She's a bloody Auror, Sirius! Don't bother telling me that you used to be one before my parents died – I know that! Nobody took Polyjuice potion to look like Kate, Sirius. No Dark Wizard set her up to be killed as part of last night's battle. Kate was doing her job, Sirius. She knew the risk to herself for being there. Don't you think that just maybe she hexed you and left you behind in part because she realized that something could have happened to her? Despite what losing Kate would have done, I would have had you, Sirius! I would have had you!"

Sirius stared at Harry silently for a moment, finally overcome by all that he had heard and by the heartbroken and angry boy who sat before him. "Harry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry; so very sorry. I never meant to upset you like this. I was stupid. Please, forgive me."

Harry reached across to Sirius and grabbed his arm. "I do forgive you, Sirius. I love you, but you have got to stop thinking that you have to sacrifice yourself to save me. I don't want that. I want the one thing you can give me that I've never had – a family. You can't do that if you're dead, Sirius. I don't really think Mum and Dad meant for you to die for me, you know. I think they asked you to be my Godfather because they wanted you to stay alive and take care of me."

"It's hard for me, Harry. It's hard to know that you're out there without me. Just as it was hard to be on assignment for the Ministry while knowing James and Lily were in danger, all those years ago. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not particularly interested in dying, Harry. I love you and I want us to be a family, too. And I'm still here, despite my stupidity," he gave Harry a watery smile.

"Yes, Sirius, you're still here; I have you. But, I don't have Kate anymore, do I? You've broken up and she's gone," Harry said more quietly now, again using his sleeve to clean his face.

Sirius picked up a discarded napkin from the breakfast table and tossed it to Harry, taking a second one for himself and wiping his face roughly. "What do you mean, 'she's gone'?" he paused, holding the napkin over the table as the import of what Harry had said finally hit him.

"She's taken a transfer to the Irish Ministry, Sirius," Harry answered him and watched Sirius' fingers slacken in surprise, the napkin falling in a crumpled heap onto a plate. "She's leaving England. Today."

Sirius' eyes were wide and his mouth fell open as Harry told him Kate's news. "She's leaving?"

The sound of a throat clearing caused them to remember Dumbledore's presence in the Annex. While he had discreetly left the room when the conversation between them had become heated, he had remained within earshot.

"Albus?" Sirius acknowledged his presence.

"Kate spoke at length with Kingsley before coming back here last night. Perhaps Kingsley could shed some light on Kate's plans if you were curious about them," Dumbledore replied.

Sirius looked away from the Headmaster as he struggled with the variety of emotions coursing through him. He had never imagined that she would leave England. He hadn't given Kate's reaction to his eviction of her much thought at all. Typical.

"Sirius," Harry was speaking to him now. "You can probably still catch her. If Fudge is making an announcement about your innocence this morning, Kingsley will probably be there. She said she was seeing someone about finding a flat to stay in while she was there. You could talk to him and find out exactly where Kate's going before it's too late. Sirius, you love Kate and she loves you. You have to put this right!"

Sirius looked at the boy carefully. "Harry, I can't just 'go after her'. Even if I still loved her, it is more complicated than that. There's a betrayal of trust and a complete disregard for what I thought was important. No," he put his hand up when Harry moved to interrupt him. "I believe the phrase was, 'you don't get to talk; it's my turn', yeah?" Harry blushed and nodded. "You've given me a great deal to think about, Harry and, before coming here this morning, I probably wouldn't have even acknowledged that there was a point of view other than my own. I don't know that I can explain this to you adequately, Harry. Sometimes, two people can love each other very deeply, but when trust is betrayed or when one person feels that their wishes or beliefs weren't respected, love isn't enough. Do you understand?"

Harry looked at him and slowly shook his head. "No, I don't. The way I hear it, Mum thought Dad the biggest git on the planet, someone who didn't respect her wishes. But, he just kept loving her and he just kept trying and, eventually, she came around. Sirius, the fact that I'm even sitting here, talking to you, is proof of how strong love can be – of just how much hate and anger love can overcome. Sirius, please, please think about it before you let Kate leave for good."

Sirius rose and Harry followed suit. They embraced tightly and stood with their arms around each other for several long moments. Sirius was the first to break the hug and he stepped back, still holding Harry's shoulders lightly. "I promise that I will think about everything we've talked about, ok?"

Harry exhaled sharply and nodded.

"We're ok, right?" Sirius asked.

"Always," Harry gave his Godfather the first unabashed grin he'd seen in a very long time.

Sirius returned the smile. "I'll see you later, yes?"

"Yeah. I'm sure I'll be around."

With a nod to Dumbledore, Sirius left the Annex – by the door and walked through the corridors of the school toward the front door. He relished walking through the familiar hallways and hurried down the wide staircases until, finally, he stood outside on the grounds. Freedom. He inhaled sharply. Despite all that he had on his mind - and heart – Sirius knew that he would always remember this moment – and how freedom smelt of balsam needles and sunshine and damp, warm earth.

Sirius continued walking until he reached the large tree at the edge of the Black Lake. He searched the broad trunk until he found the carvings his heart knew existed there: "Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs – Marauders 4-Ever", magically carved when they were fifteen years old. Fifteen. He wondered if he had ever really been fifteen; he certainly had little memory of it. The Dementors had stolen fifteen and so many other years before and after. It was only recently - and with Kate's help, that Sirius had gotten any of those precious memories back. At the thought of Kate, Sirius sat down heavily, leaning against the sturdy tree.

Kate. Harry had certainly let him have it without reservation. There was no doubt the boy loved her fiercely and, after this morning, Sirius knew that Harry's love for him was equally ferocious. There was something else he learned about his Godson this morning. While the boy was the spit and image of his father, he had inherited much more than Lily's green eyes; he had inherited her wisdom, as well. Not that James wasn't intelligent – far from it, but Lily had been possessed of a more keen insight into people than most. She had always been able to read them like the textbooks she lugged around with her. Her son certainly had inherited her delivery style, as well: blunt as a spoon and no worries about saying the wrong thing in anger. He meant what he said and said what he meant. That was his father, as well. Sirius sighed. Such a perfect blend of those two remarkable people. Was it any wonder that Sirius was so driven to protect this living, breathing reminder of people he'd loved so deeply? He thought of Harry's speech and his own in return. Sirius sighed again. He truly believed what he'd said about love sometimes not being enough when trust had been compromised. Trust had been a huge issue in his life – right from the beginning. Kate had thrown his trust out the window by her actions the night before. She'd betrayed everything he'd ever believed about their relationship – and their shared relationship with Harry. Sirius rose and began to walk along the shoreline. But had she really betrayed him? He stopped, brought up short by this traitorous thought. She hadn't lied to him; Kate had said she'd stop at nothing to stop him from doing something stupid. His attempt to get to Harry in the Department of Ministries could, he supposed, have been considered 'stupid'. Harry had certainly thought it was. He thought of his Godson's face as he's reacted to Sirius' retelling of the argument with Kate; dear Merlin, if the boy only knew the complete truth – that he'd actually thrown her belongings into her suitcase in the throes of blind rage and telling her to leave. Sirius suppressed a shudder. He couldn't imagine Harry's reaction being more vitriolic than he'd been this morning, but he was willing to bet it could be.

In his mind's eye, Sirius saw Kate's face as she'd taken the suitcase from his hands; as she'd squared her shoulders and walked away from Grimmauld Place; as she'd sat, silent, at the breakfast table this morning. He knew he'd hurt her beyond anything he'd ever done and that realization brought him up short; over the past several months, they had each inflicted more than a fair amount of pain – for reasons both real and imagined. That he could have topped any of that in a single incident made something inside him begin to hurt. But, she'd stopped him from getting to Harry, Sirius argued with himself, not willing to let go his anger. She'd physically prevented him from leaving Headquarters while she, herself, went into battle with their Godson.

'Don't you think that just maybe she hexed you and left you behind in part because she realized that something could have happened to her?' Harry's words crashed through his mind. On some level, Sirius had known that Kate's actions last night were not done vindictively or to further her own image with Harry. It would be in keeping with who she was if what Harry proposed was true. He knew her well enough to know that Kate never put herself before anyone else. Until now. Sirius rubbed his face. Kate was leaving England. She was leaving despite having Harry in her life. Sirius knew that she was leaving because of him. Because he'd thrown her out; and not just out of his house – he'd thrown her out of his life. And why? Because she'd kept her word to him; she'd believed so strongly that what he wanted to do was dangerous and wrong – for Sirius and for Harry. She'd repeatedly told him that she'd stop him, no matter what she had to do. And he'd brushed her off; told her not to think about it, that they'd face it when the time came – if it came. And all the while, he'd known in the back of his mind that he would do whatever he had to do to get to Harry. And Kate had known – and told him – that she would do whatever she had to do to protect both of them. And she had – as he'd known she would. And it had pissed him off to no end. And he'd taken his anger out on her – all of it – as he'd promised never to do again. He'd pushed her out of his life. Sirius thought of Remus' question from early this morning. Sirius had refused to give him a proper answer; his anger had stood in his way and he'd brushed him off. Suddenly, he knew what he had to do.

XXXXXXXX

Kate stepped out of the small white cottage on a side street in magical Dublin. The estate agent had just received the listing and, after verifying Kate's credentials with Ministry officials, had agreed to rent it to the young Auror at a reasonable rate and with no lease. Kate had taken the first week to establish herself in her temporary new home, transferring funds to her new vault in Gringott's Dublin office and using those funds to furnish and otherwise modestly outfit her new home.

The Ministry offices were located four blocks from the cottage which suited Kate perfectly. A brisk walk in the morning allowed her to focus her thoughts on the day ahead of her rather than on matters that were better left unexplored. Her return trip each evening brought her past the local wizard pub and she would invariably stop in to pick up a sandwich or bowl of stew to take along home with her. She'd settled into a regular, if predictable routine in a very short time, which also helped Kate focus on making a new life for herself instead of looking backward at the old one.

Despite her best intentions, Kate had read the news of Sirius' exoneration and very public Ministry apology in the local papers. He was, indeed, a free man, however he appeared to be keeping a very low profile. Sirius refused to attend Fudge's grand announcement, as Kate had fully expected he would do. Since that time, there was no word of his activities which should have made it easier for Kate to look ahead rather than backward but, to her dismay, only made it harder to do so.

Kate had sent Harry an owl, letting him know where she was staying, but asking that he keep that information to himself. She said that she would begin contacting various friends once she'd gotten settled. Since that time, she and her Godson had communicated via Floo network and the set of mirrors that Dumbledore had re-keyed to Kate alone and had returned to Harry's possession. Hedwig had surprised Kate one evening by arriving with one of the two mirrors and, after admonishing Harry for taking such a risk, Kate found herself truly appreciating why Sirius had given them to the boy.

Upon her arrival at the Ministry office, Kate spent her day meeting with trainees and developing the final schedules for the practical aspect of their Auror training. It was hard work, particularly as some of the more macho recruits had some issues taking direction from a woman, but Kate persevered. It's certainly not the first time I've run into that, she thought to herself. The hours slipped by unnoticed and when Kate finally decided that she'd done enough for one day, she was shocked to see that the sun was beginning to set.

"I think I'll head home, Maeve," Kate said to her assistant, a bright young woman with medium brown hair and deep green eyes.

"Good," she said. "Ye've been tied to that desk all day today. It's well time for ye to be off!"

Kate smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow," she said as she picked up her purse and briefcase.

"Sure and ye won't," Maeve replied. "Tomorrow is Saturday!"

Kate smiled again and shook her head. "So it is, Maeve. I'll see you on Monday, then."

With a wave, Kate left her office, looking forward to the warmth of the late spring sunshine as she made her way home.

Perhaps she would contact Dumbledore and see if he would permit Harry to come visit for the weekend. She found it to be an adjustment having no one to come home to after the bustle of both the Annex and Grimmauld Place. Truth be told, she was lonely. Having Harry visit would be just the boost her spirits needed.

Kate was so involved in formulating her argument for Dumbledore that she walked right by her front door.

"Kate?"

The voice brought her back to the present with startling speed. Turning around, Kate found herself staring at the last person she ever expected to see again.

Sirius.

Kate opened her mouth, but could make no sound. She simply stood there as they looked at each other. Finally, she forced her feet to move and she walked around Sirius and up the short flight of steps to her front door. Tears had already begun to fall and she did not want him to see her in this state.

"Katie," he said softly. "Katie, please don't make me go. Please let me talk to you."

He was standing directly behind her, on the first step. "Please, Katie. I know that I have no right to ask, but please just let me in for a moment. If you want me to go after I've said my piece, I will. I promise. Just…"

Kate unlocked the door and pushed it open. Stepping inside the dim hallway, she half turned and gestured for him to follow her. Sirius took the steps two at a time and, once inside, he closed the door behind him.

Kate showed him into the small sitting room. "Sit down," she invited, stunned at how normal she sounded given that she was feeling anything but normal.

Sirius shook his head. "No, I'm too nervous," he said, honestly and Kate couldn't help but smile.

The sight of it seemed to steady him a bit. "We have a very bright Godson, you know. He not very politely informed me that I was a huge git for 'breaking up' with you." Sirius said.

Kate's eyebrows rose. "He's got more than his fair share of Lily in him, apparently."

Sirius smiled at that. "Exactly what I thought." He paused, watching her face. "Katie, I was so wrong. I didn't think – no surprise there – I was just so pissed off at you. In my mind, you had stopped me from getting to Harry and that was something I never thought you would ever do. I felt that you'd betrayed me – us. Harry told me that I was dead wrong and said that you only did what you promised me you'd do if I insisted on being stupid. I…insisted on being stupid and you kept your promise." Sirius looked at Kate. "I don't want to be stupid anymore. I don't want to be without you anymore. Katie – please forgive me. I love you and I don't want to live without you. I was wrong. I can't believe I actually packed your things and gave you the gate. That was beyond wrong; beyond stupid…" he was beginning to babble, but was at a loss how to stop himself. Kate, however, was not.

She crossed the tiny room and put her finger over his lips. "You're babbling," she whispered. He nodded. "Can you just stop it for a minute?" Sirius shook his head slowly. "No? Do you need help?" Sirius' eyes crinkled at the corners and he nodded again. Kate smiled. "I suppose I could assist you, then." And she leaned forward, substituting her lips for her finger.

It was if a torch had been lit. Sirius wrapped his arms around her and returned her kiss hungrily. Kate's fingers wove through his dark hair and she tugged his bottom lip into her mouth and sucked on it delicately. Sirius moaned quietly and tightened his hold, molding her to him. Their tongues moved against each other as their kisses deepened. Sirius' hands moved down to cup her firm bottom through her robes and Kate responded with a whimper as she felt the evidence of his arousal pressed against her stomach.

"Sirius," she breathed, breaking the kiss and bringing her mouth around to his ear. She nibbled on the soft lobe, then circled the sensitive rim with the tip of her tongue, smiling at the shiver she provoked from him.

"Do you have a bed in this place or should we give this little settee a try?" Sirius murmured against her cheek and Kate could feel him smile.

"Bedroom," she whispered, nibbling on his ear again. "Come on." And she reluctantly stepped away from him, grabbing his hand and leading him down a short hallway.

They entered her room and immediately fell to each other again, buttons tearing from fabric, zippers hurriedly unzipped. In moments, they had divested each other of every thread that had covered them and Sirius lifted her gently and placed her on top of the bed.

"My love," he whispered, leaning down and kissing her tenderly. He moved down to her breasts, laving each rosy nipple in turn and loving the feel of her shifting beneath him.

"Miss me, did you?" he murmured, feeling his own excitement mounting as his tortured flesh moved rhythmically where it was trapped between them. 'Oh, Katie, I'm not going to last long, love; It's been far too long."

"I need you," Kate breathed, reaching between them and taking him in her hand. She began to stroke him, palming the sensitive head and dragging the moisture down the length of him. "I need you now, Sirius. Please."

Sirius gently removed her hand and kissed it, resting it against her chest. He brought his fingers to her center, eliciting a sharp cry as he probed her slick folds. She was so ready for him. Locating her swollen nub, Sirius gently rubbed the firm flesh, circling, circling then finally using his thumb to rub her more firmly. Kate arched her back and cried out as her orgasm pulsed through her and she shook fiercely. Sirius groaned and the sight before him and he took himself in hand and entered her in one stroke as her release raged on. Moving in swift thrusts, Sirius brought Kate's legs around his waist and then lowered his face to her neck. "I love you, I love you …. Ahhhh, Katie, yes!" Sirius murmured over and over into the sensitive flesh below her ear. "I love you," she whispered, feeling her body tighten once again. Sirius sped up his movements, desperately seeking his own release. "Come … on, darling," she whispered breathlessly. "Let go. Come … for … me…" and she broke for the second time, tightening around him until Sirius cried out, shaking and then he, too, peaked, emptying himself deep inside her and whispering her name over and over again.

They lay together in the aftermath of their lovemaking, kissing and touching each other tenderly, gently as they waited for their breathing and heart rates to return to some semblance of normal.

Sirius propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at her. "Come back to England?" he asked, his heart clearly reflected in his bright blue eyes.

Kate smiled and reached up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind one ear. "Help me pack?"

Sirius' eyes widened for a moment, then he gave her a broad smile. "Cheeky witch," he replied, relieved that she had truly forgiven him. "Yes, I'll help you pack…in a bit." And with that, he kissed her, putting everything he felt for her into that one moment; rejoicing when she responded in kind and knowing that they were no longer in pieces.

Despite what they had gone through, they'd survived and managed to take those fragments and form them into something whole – something stronger than before. Something that could never be fragmented again.


End file.
